Friday, July 7, 2000

Well, here it is. Sorry everyone for letting you down. I promised you I would finish it, and I have failed you. I have failed those who never failed me. You were all there for me, always. In an time when I felt I had lost all, you gave me courage, you gave me strength, you gave me hope. This story was way for me to feel emotion that I thought I had lost. It was a way for me to forget life and to fall away into a life I wish I had. Into a life that I never had. Here I am a few months after, with the strength, the courage, the will to go on with my life, to deal with what the Lord hands me, to live. I wrote to escape from the real world. To most of you this was just a story. To me this was so much more. Words cannot describe how grateful I am to all of you. Forever will I hold all of you in my hearts. You gave me something I will never forget.

There are so many of you that have e-mailed me showing concern and care and that have helped me. There are three special people out there, that I owe a special thanks too. First of all, I would like to thank P.J. You have helped me with so much man. I don't know what I would do without you. You gave me the courage to come out. You gave me the strength I needed. I love ya man. Ya know that already though. Second I would like to thank Jill. Oh my God girl, we have been through so much together. You're my rock. Babe, I love ya so much and I don't know where I would be without you. Thank you so much for everything. Finally I would like to thank Matt. I know we don't talk anymore, and I understand that. I would just like to thank you form the bottom of my heart, you helped me grow as a person. I am no longer the brat I once was.

I am watching the cursor blink and I am crying. I am avoiding the inevitable. However, it needs to be done. Maybe one day I will finish the story, I doubt it. I guess right now I have a few words of advice for everyone. Keep your chin high, but do not be afraid to cry. Keep the faith, no matter what anyone tells you, life gets better. Be yourself and not a lie, do not be afraid to show who you truly are. Above all, love is more important than everything else, when you find it, don't lose it. You will never truly understand the power of love until you lose it.

I think I have said everything now. It's been a blast. Keep in touch and don't be afraid to just talk to me if ya see me on. Make the most of your life, you never know when your last moment may be. I know I will be making the most of mine. When you come around the bend for the last time, smile on the life you had, do not be sad. Thanks Everyone, God Bless. HAVE A GREAT DAY!

John ~ Spifty214@aol.com