Lost Without You

Chapter -- 0 (Prologue)
by JT Poole and Nikki Brown

Orlando, FL -- The Home of JT Poole -- Summer 2000

"Baby that's not fair and you know it." Jamie shouts, turning away from his lover.

"It was my money and you know it James! If it wasn't for me and my money your company would have gone under a long time ago." JT says, throwing a folder of papers at the man.

"I didn't need your money JT and you know it. I always bounce back from shit like that. You didn't have to step in the way you did." Jamie says, picking up the papers off the floor.

"Well if you didn't need my fucking money, why did you take it?" JT asks, getting up in Jamie's face.

"I ah...ah...well..." Jamie stutters.

"Like I damn thought." JT says walking towards the door. "I don't need this Jamie. I love you, but I can't do this no more. When I get back you need to have all your shit out of my house. Don't be here when I get back."

"JT you don't mean that." Jamie says, tears springing to his eyes.

"I do mean it Jamie. I have had enough of the arguing and the fights. I said I would never put up with arguing in any of my relationships. All we do is fight Jamie." JT says, holding his head down as he opens the door. "Be gone when I return."

"JT please don't do this." Jamie says, walking towards JT.

"No Jamie. No more." JT says walking out the door and closing it behind. "I will always love you."

"Oh God this is it. It's over this time for real." Jamie says crying harder now as he slides down the door, holding his head in his hands. "You are mad now, but we will be together again one day."

Jive Entertainment -- Office of JT Poole -- The Present

"Good morning Mr. Poole you have a call. The person didn't give a name, they said they really need to talk to you, that it was an emergency." Tina, the front desk receptionist says.

"Thanks Tina, just put the call through." JT replies.

"Okay sir." Tina responds as the phone clicks and she is no longer on the line.

"Hello this is JT may I help you?" JT asks, waiting for the person on the line to speak.

"JT how are you doing?" Nikki Cavanaugh, a friend of his from the past asks.

"Nikki girl is that you?" JT asks.

"Yeah it's me." Nikki replies. "I desperately need a favor from you."

"You know I will do what I can for you. What's the matter?" JT asks.

"I need to get away from here. Jason has gone mad and I think he's trying to kill me." Nikki tells him.

"What? What makes you think that?" JT asks.

"My car was bombed a few days ago." Nikki says. "I can't actually say he did it, but I have reason to believe that he was responsible for it."

"What reasons do you have girl?" JT asks.

"He's a crooked cop JT. He's doing evil, underhanded things that he shouldn't be doing." Nikki says.

"Things like?" JT asks.

"He's stealing drugs from the criminals and selling it back to them. He and some other cops are running a protection ring. I know he's dipping into other things, but I haven't seen that with my own eyes yet." Nikki says as she starts crying.

"Oh God girl does he know you know what he's doing?" JT asks.

"Yeah I think he does. That's why I believe he's trying to kill me." Nikki says as someone knocks at her front door. "JT I will have to call you back."

"Nikki don't you hang up." JT says as the line is disconnected. "Oh great. Just great. This isn't good."

"Mr. Poole you have someone here to see you." Tina says, speaking through the intercom.

"Who is it Tina?" JT asks, shuffling some papers around on the desk, looking for his desk calendar to see who was scheduled.

"The Backstreet Boys and Trey Anderson." Tina replies.

"Send them in Tina." JT says as he continues to look around on his desk for the calendar to see who else would be gracing his presence that day.

"Good morning Mr. Poole. How did the holidays treat you?" Trey Anderson, the Backstreet Boys' manager asks.

"Good morning Trey. The holidays were a bummer yet again. "What could I do for you guys this morning?"

"Well we were supposed to be talking about the new album and some other arrangements for the guys." Trey states, opening his briefcase and placing a folder in front of JT. "Here is what the boys have been looking over and the expenses for everything."

"Lets see what we have here." JT says, opening the folder and looking at the figures in front of him. "Is this approximate or estimated?"

"Well it's most definitely an estimation JT." Trey states as Kevin stands up.

"Excuse me sir." Kevin states, walking over to JT's desk. "Kevin Richardson. I tend to handle some of our business and financial affairs. I overlooked what Trey has drawn up here and I truly believe we can make this budget work."

"So you think by combining your tour with the tour of another group will cut down on expenses and increase sales revenue?" JT asks.

"Yes sir I do believe that." Kevin replies as Brian stands up.

"I'm Brian Littrell sir. I think that if we get a group that has already made a name for themselves such as we have then, then we can expect more fans to come out to the shows." Brian says, smiling at JT.

"Maybe you can, but who would join you guys on tour?" JT asks, looking at Brian, noticing the way he was looking at him. "Who can you get on this label that can bring in the fans?"

"What about `N Sync?" AJ pipes up. "There is some rumors floating around that they want to get back into the swing of things."

"Hmmmm really? I haven't heard that rumor yet." JT says as Trey stands up.

"Well there has to be a group out there that can join us." Kevin says.

"Well I think me and Trey can work on that part. How is the album coming along?" JT asks.

"Good sir. We're almost finished working on the first few tracks and getting ready to start on the first video." Kevin says.

"Sounds good to me guys." JT says as the phone rings. "Excuse me. Hello?"

"Oh JT I am so sorry for hanging up on you earlier. I just couldn't let him hear me talking to you." Nikki says, sounding almost out of breath."

"Hold on just a moment Nicole." JT says, pressing the hold button on the phone. "Is there more we need to discuss about the budget?"

"No JT we are cool until the meeting with Johnny on Friday." Trey says.

"Cool then. It was nice seeing all of you." JT says as the guys all stand up. "I will see you all again on Friday."

"I will call you later JT to talk about some of this stuff." Trey says as he and the guys walk out of the room.

Outside of JT's Office

"Brian I saw the way you were looking at him. Please say you are not developing a crush on him." Kevin says.

"He is hot Kev. Did you say his muscles flex under his clothes when he moved?" Brian asks, acting like a kid in school with a crush.

"No and I wasn't trying to either." Kevin replies shaking his head. "You said you were going to think about this before you started trying to find someone. God Brian you and Leighanne just got divorced no longer than a month ago."

"And your point being Kev?" Brian asks, looking at Kevin. "We got divorced because I like dick not clit Kevin. I am not going to keep living up to those standards of liking women when I don't. I need someone to make me want to love, not keep pretending to love. That ain't right Kevin. I am going to start living for me and only for me."

"I am not trying to stop you from living for you, just that you need to be careful and think about what you are doing. Do you really want a man Brian or is this just one of the things you are curious about?" Kevin asks, turning to face Brian.

"I am gay Kevin and you are going to have to accept that fact." Brian says, pulling away from Kevin. "I am going to be me and I am not going back into the closet for you or anyone else. The world is going to have to accept me for me."

Back in JT's Office

"So why don't you come here and stay with me for a while. You know I have plenty of room and I wouldn't mind since it's just me and that darn cat in that big ole house by ourselves." JT says.

"What about Jamie? Wouldn't you need to talk to him about this first?" Nikki asks.

"Girl we have been out of touch for too long. Jamie and me broke up a while ago. He moved back to LA." JT says, opening one of his desk drawers and pulling out a magazine of `YM' with a picture of Brian Littrell on the cover.

"We have JT, but maybe a trip to visit will change all of that." Nikki says.

"Maybe it would girl. You can tell me all about this husband of yours and I tell you all about how Jamie got on my nerves and I dropped him like a bad habit." JT says, smiling as he ogles the picture of Brian.

The Sheraton Hotel -- Kevin's Room -- 1 Hour Later

"What do you mean Kevin?" Howie asks, getting up in Kevin's face. "What's so bad about him having a crush on someone Kev?"

"Its bad because he just got a divorce from Leighanne. It's bad because he's still in the public eye. It's bad because whatever he might do might...might cause problems in the media for us." Kevin says turning away from Howie.

"What are you really trying to say Kevin? You got something against us gay men?" Howie asks, grabbing Kevin's arm and turning him to face him. "Look at me Kevin! Answer the damn question man!"

"No D. I just don't think Brian should be doing this now." Kevin says, sitting down on the bed, not meeting Howie's eyes and dropping his head down. "I'm only looking out for him D. I think he's making a big mistake in his life with his actions."

"Train he did the right thing. He did what was right for him and for Leighanne too. He did what he felt just like you did when you left Kristin." Howie says, sitting next to Kevin on the bed, rubbing his back.

"I left Kristin because she was cheating on me with another man. That's different from Brian and Leighanne." Kevin says, crying softly.

"The only difference Train is that Brian loved her enough to tell her that he was gay. He loved her enough to keep her from getting hurt in the future." Howie says, still rubbing Kevin's back. "He didn't want to hurt her anymore."

"Well he might not wanted to, but he did anyway." Kevin replies, getting up.

"Well it always hurts when you love someone and you find out something that changes that person in your eyes." Howie states, getting up and walking to the other side of the room. "I know that feeling very well with Joey."

"Joey? What happened to you two?" Kevin asks, turning around to look at Howie.

"We had to separate yet again." Howie says, as Kevin walks over to him. "He went back to Kelly again. It seems that he still can't make up his mind."

"D you shouldn't allow him to keep doing this too you. You deserve a man that loves you and wants to be with you. You don't need a guy like Joey that claims he loves you, when he really doesn't." Kevin says, hugging Howie.

"I love him Kevin. I...I need him." Howie says, crying on Kevin's shoulder.

"You don't need him D. You need someone better." Kevin says, rubbing Howie's back as he continues to cry.

"No one wants me Kevin. Joey is the only man that...that shows me love." Howie says, as Kevin pulls back from him.

"D that's not love." Kevin says, as Howie walks to the door and opens it.

"It's the only love I have." Howie says, walking out the door and closing it behind him.

Jive Entertainment -- Later That Day

"Goodnight Tina." JT says, walking down the hall as he heads for the elevators.

"Goodnight yourself Mr. Poole." Tina says as she shuts down her computer and turn off her desk lamp.

"Yo' JT man wait up." Quentin, the head of record production and JT's friend calls out, running to catch the elevator doors.

"Man you better hurry, I have somewhere to be. What's on your mind?" JT asks as Quentin steps into the elevator and the doors close.

"Man what you have planned tonight? I am going out to this club with Todd and Blaine and they told me it was a slammin' joint. You want to come with us?" Quentin asks, pulling out his cell phone.

"No thanks man. I am going to go home and go over some paperwork." JT says as his cell phone starts ringing. "Excuse me man, I gotta take this. Hello?"

"JT it's me Nikki. I am headed out the door right now to the airport. I will be in Orlando sometime after midnight. He's hanging with his cop buddies, so that gives me a good chance to get in my car and leave." Nikki explains as JT could hear her shuffling things.

"Nikki is he in the house right now with you girl?" JT asks.

"Not right now JT. I am leaving here before he comes back though." Nikki states, picking up some other things as she walks to the door. "I'm heading out to the car right now. My flight leaves in half an hour. I will see you soon."

"Be careful girl and I will see you when you get here." JT says as he disconnects the call.

"Man is everything okay?" Quentin asks.

"I don't know right now. A friend of mine is having some troubles and need to get away from some stress. I don't know what's actually going on, won't know until she get here. But I think she will fill me in on everything then." JT says, clarifying what little information that he was willing to share with Quentin.

"So is this girl single? It is a girl isn't it?" Quentin asks, grinning at JT as the elevator doors open.

"Yes she's a girl, no she isn't single at the moment." JT answers him as he stops grinning.

"What does that mean JT?" Quentin asks.

"It means that she's married right now. Even if she weren't married, she wouldn't go out with you. You are bisexual Quentin, so get over it already." JT says, arriving at his car and finding a note under the windshield wiper. Picking up the note address to him, he unlocks the car door and gets in. "I wonder who this is from?"


Warnings and Disclaimers:

I don't know any of the members of N SYNC, BSB or any celebrity mentioned. I don't know anything about their sexual orientation or the orientation of any other celebrities in this story (even though I wish some of them were gay). This story is fiction and you shouldn't take it for anything else but that. This is only for entertainment value only folks. Hope you enjoyed the show oh I meant the reading.