Lost Without You

Chapter -- 10
by JT Poole and Nikki Brown

Saturday Afternoon -- Orlando, FL -- JT's House

Chad's POV

I can't believe my daddy is dating Brian Littrell of the Backstreet Boys. Brian is really cool, but is my daddy the right person he should be with? My daddy doesn't have a good track record when it comes to love and trust. In my book, he should just be single and not make other people fall in love with him. Is my daddy going to do to Brian what he did to my mommy? I don't think daddy should be with him, Brian has gone through some stuff already in his life and he doesn't need to be mixed up with my evil father. I really believe my daddy would end up hurting him and that would be the end of Brian's sanity.

"Chad are you ready to go?" Dad asks as he walks into the room.

"Almost ready daddy," I say, not trying to let my anger show.

I have to do what I can to keep my cool. I can't do anything wrong, if I do, he might send me away and what Mr. Taggert said would come true. I don't want to end up with a crazy family that would beat me and molest me. I'll just keep my thoughts to myself and just hope I don't do anything to screw up. Hopefully I won't do anything to make him hate me and send me off to some place strange.

"Are you ready little man?" Brian asks me walking into the room.

"Sure am," I say, getting off the bed and walking over to him. "Where are we going?"

"We're going to Grant Park first since its right down the street and then we're going to head over to where your school would be located," Brian tells me as daddy comes out of his room and puts his watch on.

"You two ready?" He asks me as I nod at him. "Alright let's go."

As we were walking down the stairs, the doorbell rang and I heard the lady from this morning calling out that she would get it. Getting down the stairs, I almost died right then and there when I saw Nick Carter standing there in the doorway. Please say the rest of the Backstreet Boys are with him. That would totally be a dream come true, meeting my idols.

"Nick what are you doing here?" Brian asks him as Nick threw an evil glare at him.

"How long have you been here Brian?" Nick asks him as he stood there waiting for us to get down the stairs.

"Why is that any of your business Nick?" Brian asks him as we all walk around to the living room.

"Can I see you outside please?" Nick asks him as Brian looks up at daddy and then daddy nods at him and the two of them go outside.


Brain's POV

What the hell is he doing here and why? I'm not in the mood to put up with his drama today and if I have to, I'm going to bust his ass for this shit. I could understand if we had work to do or something, but this is my free time and he's starting to get on my fucking nerves with questioning everything I do. I won't stand for this anymore.

"What is it that you want Nick?" I ask him as he stares me up and down.

"You should be ashamed of yourself Brian. You fucking meet this guy and you start neglecting your duties. What's the matter Brian, he got you dick whipped already?" He asks as I was ready to punch him in the mouth, but I held my temper.

"Again, why are you here Nick? What is it that you want?" I ask him again as he shook his head.

"None of us knew where you were Brian. We haven't heard from you since the meeting yesterday morning. While you were out having fun last night with your boyfriend and the little boy in there, you made the headlines," Nick said, giving me a cheeky smile. "It seems while you were running from store to store, someone took pictures of you two and they believe that little boy to be your son."

"Chad isn't my son, he's JT's son," I tell him as he shakes his head and opens his jacket, pulling out a newspaper.

"This newspaper says otherwise damnit," Nick says as he hits me with the paper, handing it to me. "Read it and weep."

"I've had just about enough of your fucking attitude!" I shout as the door opens and Nikki steps out along with JT.

"What's going on out here?" JT asks as Nick glares at him.

"Ask your fucking boyfriend," Nick answers him, still glaring at him. "Ask him about the picture in the paper of him and his little shopper boy."

"Excuse me? What are you talking about Mr. Carter?" JT asks him as I hand him the paper and he sees the picture of me and Chad from last night at the mall. "Oh my God. I need to call Johnny."

"No you don't. He's already waiting for all of us," Nick says as I was ready to knock the fire out of him until Kess and Nikki came outside with Chad. "If you'd get your head out of your ass, we wouldn't have to deal with this crap right now."

"Hey hey hey, young ears in the vicinity," JT says as Nick looks at him with a strange look that could only mean that he wasn't happy with him either.

"Not my kid," Nick says as I smack him and was ready to smack him again until JT grabbed me and Nikki stepped in between the two of us.

"Why don't you go on to your car and why don't you all go get into JT's car," Nikki says, looking at the paper. "Let's go talk to you guys' boss and straighten this all out."

"JT is our boss at the moment," I tell her as she looks at me and then JT.

"Oh is that so?" Nikki asks as JT nods at her. "Well well, seems you need to get on the ball big man and find out what crawled up Mr. Carter's backside."

"I will address that at this meeting we're on our way to," JT says as we piled into his Cherokee and we were off to Jive Entertainment.

30 Minutes Later -- Jive Entertainment -- A Conference Room


After talking with Trey and Johnny about the current situation, things kind of fell into place, that is until Nick stood up and started ragging on Brian. What the hell is his problem anyway? He's starting to sound like a scorned and jealous lover, sorta like Quentin used to. As soon as I stood up and walked around the table to him, Brian had gotten up and pimped slapped his ass. For a second there, I thought Brian was a pimp and Nick was one of his bitches. Stepping back from the two of them fight, Kevin and AJ broke them apart and put them on different sides of the room. After making a call to security and having them stationed outside of the room, we got the meeting back on track.

"If he wasn't with you, this wouldn't be on the fucking table right now!" Nick screamed as Brian struggled with Kevin to let him go.

"You leave him out of it! I'm not going to let you or anyone ruin this for me. I like him and nothing's going to change that!" Brian shouted as I looked at him and smiled.

"Brian please calm down," I say, walking closer to him as he visibly calmed down and stopped struggling with Kevin. "I'm sure both of you can act civil. If you can't, let me know right now and I'm sure I can think of some place to send you where you can."

"Fuck you!" Nick shouted as I stepped to the door and motioned for one of the security guys to come in and stand next to Nick.

"Now if you say something else uncivil, I'll have him escort you out of this building and I will fine you," I tell him as he glares at me and then at Brian. "As I was saying before I was rudely interrupted, this problem isn't so big. It's just a picture of Brian and my son. All we have to do is send out a press release and a picture of me and Chad and that should solve the problem."

"No it won't!" Nick shouts as I look at him. "When you do that people would know that he's in some kind of a relationship with you and that'll turn out bad for us in the end."

"So far the fans know Brian is dating someone and that hasn't had any negative effects as of yet," Trey says as he stands up. "Hell, if he can come out of the closet and confess to the world that he's gay and cheated on his wife with a man and that didn't negatively affect you, what makes you think him dating JT will?"

"It's only a matter of time before it starts showing and the fans start hating us for it," Nick says

"My personal life doesn't revolve around the fans Nick, it revolves around me and the people I love. I care about the fans, but when that interferes with my personal life, that's a problem...a problem I won't put up with," Brian explains as I look over to him and Kevin again.

"Bri you have to understand where he's coming from," Kevin tells him.

"I know where he's coming from Kev and I don't care. My life doesn't revolve around the fans. I'm not going to change my life to make the fans happy. Like I said before, I'm happy with JT, I like him and I'm not going to let anything change that, nothing at all. Not you, not the fans, not mom or dad. Nobody is going to change how I feel about him, nobody but me or him. Other than that, you all need to mind your business," Brian states as he pulls away from Kevin and walks out of the room.

"This isn't solving anything," I say as Trey looks at me and I look over to Johnny. "Nick if I were to leave Brian alone, would that make you happy and stop all of this fighting?"

"What? How dare you?" Howie asks, speaking up for the first time since he's been in the room. "You can't do that because Nick wants you too. If you like Brian like he likes you, you shouldn't be trying to pacify Nick like that."

"Well I'm trying to keep the peace in your ranks. I don't want to be the cause of any more arguments. Right now I don't see any other way," I say as I look down and walk towards the door. "You guys do what you need to, I'm going to get my son and I'm going home.

Walking out of that room, it felt like it was the hardest thing for me to say. Was I really going to leave Brian alone like I just said? I guess I have no choice but to do that to keep the peace. I don't want him fighting with his friends over me. That's what happened to me and Lance and I don't need a repeat of that. I'll just go get Chad and we'll just go for a ride or something.

"Hey Chad," I say as he looks up from his seat behind my desk. "Ready to go?"

"Sure daddy," he says. "Did everything get fixed? Is everything going to be okay with Brian?"

"Yeah everything is fine," I tell him as I shut down the computer and walk towards the door.

"Is something wrong? Is Brian in trouble?" He asks me.

"No Chad, what makes you think that?" I ask him.

"The look on your face says there's something wrong. Something's not right daddy, what is it? Did I get Brian into trouble?" He asks me, sitting down and looking down at his hands.

"No you didn't get Brian into trouble," I tell him as he starts crying. "Chad?"

"It's all my fault. It's all my fault. Brian's in trouble because of me. If he hadn't been shopping with me, he and Nick wouldn't be fighting and he wouldn't be in trouble. I'm sorry," He tells me as he buries his face into the sofa in my office.

"Chad none of that is your fault," I tell him as he pulls away from me. "Chad what's wrong? Why are you crying like this?"

"Please don't send me away," he says as I sit down next to him. "I promise, I promise I won't cause anymore trouble for you."

"Send you away? Why would I send you away Chad?" I ask him as he gasp for air and let out more tears. "Chad?"

"Please don't, I'll be good. I promise I'll be good, just don't send me away, please...I'll do anything," he says again, this time I wonder what's really going on.

"Chad there's nothing you can ever do to make me send you away. You're my son and I'm not going to send you anywhere. Where would you get an idea like that?" I ask him as he looks up at me.

"M-Mr. Taggert said that if...if I misbehaved and made you mad, that you would send me away and I would go to another family and they would beat me, molest me and stuff. I don't want to go away. I didn't mean for it to happen," Chad tells me as I look at him in shock.

"Mr. Taggert said that to you?" I ask him as he nods his head.

"Yeah daddy," he answers me as I pull him into my arms and hug him tight.

"I'm not sending you away Chad," I tell him. "You're my son and the only place you're going is back to the house with me."

"You're not mad at me?" He asks me.

"No son I'm not mad at you," I tell him as I hug him again and kiss him on his forehead. "Feel better now?"

"A little bit," he tells me. "Where's Brian?"

"I don't know where Brian is. He left the meeting a few minutes ago. He wasn't feeling well," I tell him as he looks down at me.

"Did you hurt him too?" He asks me as I look at him funny.

"Hurt him too?" I ask him.

"He and Nick were fighting. Did you say you were leaving him because of me?" He asks me.

"No Chad," I say, not fully telling the truth.

"Okay daddy," he says as I stand up and walk out of my office carrying him in my arms.

15 Minutes Previously -- Down in the Cafeteria

Nikki's POV

I hope everything is going all right up there in that meeting. That damn Nick was starting to piss me off. He was cute the other day when we saw him at Roberto's, but today he's totally different. On the ride over here, Brian was fuming mad. I thought that vein in his forehead was going to pop open or something. We tried everything we could think of to calm him down, but that's one hotheaded guy. All he could talk about was kicking Nick's ass to kingdom come and if he didn't get to do that, all hell was going to break loose. Whew, what a temper. He reminds me too much of Jason.

It seems things never change when we're all together. Like clockwork, whenever we make plans to hang out as a group or whatever, something happens where one of us has to go off to handle work related issues. It's a beautiful day and here we are in a building when we should be out there having a good time like we planned. Maybe we'll get up out of here before the sun goes down.

Lawd there he is and he's coming over here. I'm really not in the mood to deal with him right now. He's already caused a scene at JT's house and I'm trying my best not to dwell on that. What does he want and what does it have to do with me?

"Hi there beautiful lady," he says, smiling at me and sitting down across from me. "Why are you sitting here alone?"

"Possibly because I don't work here and my friends are involved in a meeting," I tell him as he just sits there with this strange smirk on his face. "What're you sitting there grinning like a Cheshire cat for?"

"No reason," he tells me as my cell phone starts ringing and I see that it's Kess.

"Excuse me," I say, getting up from the table and answering the phone. "Yes dear?"

"Have you seen JT, Chad or Brian?" Kess asks me.

"Aren't they still up in his office?" I ask her, turning my attention back to Nick Carter sitting at the table. "Hold on a minute. Excuse me Nick."

"Yes beautiful lady?" He answers.

"Is your meeting over with JT?" I ask him.

"Why yes it is I'm afraid," he answers me.

"Thank you," I say to him and turn back around. "Where are you Kess?"

"I'm at JT's office and no one's in there. He and Chad are gone and I can't find Brian either...wait, I've found Brian, but he's alone," Kess tells me as I turn back around and look at Nick again.

"Well ask him where JT is," I tell her as I wonder where JT and Chad could possibly be.

"He doesn't know where JT is. He thought JT was here in his office. I guess we're going back down to the conference room," Kess tells me as I shake my head. "Where are you?"

"I'm in the cafeteria, joined by Nick Carter," I tell her as he looks up at the mention of his name.

"What the hell are you doing with that jerk?" She asks me as I giggle.

"Who knows, but I'll tell you when I find out. If you find him, give a ring," I tell her as I hung up the phone. "Sorry to cut this short, but I have to go locate my friend."

"So soon? We haven't had a chance to converse long," he says, standing up.

"Well I'm sorry, but I have to go find my friend," I tell him as I turn to walk away.

"Well why don't I join you. We can chat while we look," he tells me as I think about that for a second.

"Provided that you can be nice and not get a `tude with me or Brian, sure you can come. If you start any trouble you gots to go," I tell him as he walks over to me and we leave the cafeteria in search of the missing father and son.

A Few Miles Away -- A Nearby Park


I truly thought this day was starting off great, great until Nick fucking Carter showed his face at my house. What a jerk! I don't think the term jerk applies to Nick, there needs to be a new term coined just for him. I guess when I think of one, I'll submit it to Webster's dictionary with a description of Nick fucking Carter and his fucking picture. Here it is I finally found someone to make me feel good and within one hour that's all taken away from me because of his skanky ass.

All the time I've put into making my life easier and better, it just doesn't seem to matter anymore. What am I to do now? I have this little dude that's scared of doing something wrong because that damn social worker told him that if he messed up, I would send him away. Oh he just wait until Monday, I'm going to drop the Ace of Spades on his ass and maybe more. I think I'll get Mr. Marshall involved. That man doesn't need to be working for an organization dealing with kids, telling them untrue things. I just hope that crap isn't stuck in Chad's head. I don't want him to fear me, I'm his father. You're not supposed to be scared of your father.

"Daddy are you alright?" He asks me as he looks up at me.

"No I'm not, but don't worry about me. I'll be alright, I have you now," I tell him as he frowns again. "Stop that little man. I don't need you getting upset."

"But I messed up," he tells me as I shake my head.

"No you didn't Chad. Don't you go thinking you messed up when you had nothing to do with any of this. Yes a picture was taken of you and Brian, but that's not your fault. In the world that Brian is part of, there is always someone out there in the world that's going to try to hurt him to make themselves richer. You know celebrities have to deal with that sort of thing," I tell him as he nods. "Don't you worry about that."

"But you and Brian got in trouble," he tells me as I shake my head again.

"We're not in any trouble Chad," I tell him as he looks down. "The only thing that's wrong is...well don't worry about it. That's something I'll have to deal with later on."

"The only thing wrong is me," he tells me as he starts crying again.

"No Chad, nothing's wrong with you," I tell him, picking him up and sitting him in my lap. "Chad, I know you're angry with me because I wasn't there when you were younger, but we can't change the past. Because some crazy person told you something stupid, doesn't mean you have to believe it."

"But Nick was mad, he and Brian got into a fight," he tells me. "Because of me, he got in trouble. I messed up."

"Chad, I'm new to being a daddy and I'm sure I'm going to make some mistakes and I'm sure you'll make some too, but that's life. We all make mistakes and no matter how many you make, I'll never send you away," I tell him as I hug him, crying a little bit myself as I feel someone touch my shoulder. "What da..."

"Hi handsome," Brian says, sitting down on the bench next to me. "I thought we were going to have a group outing?"

"After the meeting, I felt the need to just spend some time with just Chad. We've been sitting out here enjoying the atmosphere," I tell him, brushing Chad's hair as he shakes his head at me.

"Watch the hair daddy," he tells me as I laugh.

"Oh no, another Justin Timberlake," I say, still laughing as he looks up at me.

"You know Justin Timberlake too?" He asks me.

"Yes I do," I tell him, touching his nose with my finger.

"Do you work with them too?" He asks me.

"I use to work with them, but I dated Lance and work with him sometimes too," I tell him as Brian looks at me strange. "Yes I dated Lance Brian."

"I see," Brian says as I turn and look at him as he drapes his arm around me. "Well that doesn't matter now. I've captured you and I'm not releasing you to anyone else lover boy."

"You might not have a choice in that matter handsome," I tell him as I look up to see Kess, Nikki and Nick walking towards the three of us.

"So this is where you've been hiding out JT," Nikki says as she sits down next to me and Chad.

"I wasn't hiding out. I just felt that me and Chad needed to get away and talk by ourselves," I tell her as she smiles and then pinches Chad's cheek.

"So are you and daddy having a good time puddin'?" Nikki asks him as he nods.

"I'm kinda hungry again. Are you hungry Chad?" I ask him as he smiles up at me. "I take that as a yes."

"What are you doing here Nick?" Brian asks him.

"I'm with Nikki," Nick answers him as both me and Brian look at him and then her like she was out of her mind.

"What? You're not the only one that can hang out with a Backstreet Boy," she tells me as I glare at her and then smile.

"Yeah that's true, but at least mine isn't a drama queen," I say as she gives me an evil look and he does the same.

"JT don't start," she tells me as I get up with Chad and put him down.

"Are you feeling better?" I ask him.

"Yeah," he answers as we walk back towards the Jive building to get to the jeep.



I don't know any of the members of N SYNC, Backstreet Boys or any other celebrities mentioned. I don't know anything about their sexual orientation or the orientation of any other celebrities in this story (even though I wish some of them were gay). This story is fiction and you shouldn't take it for anything else but that. This is for entertainment value only folks.