I'm lost, I'm lost without you baby, The days aren't the same the nights are cold and gray, I need you in my life, If not now then someday... --- Vanessa Williams

Lost Without You
Chapter 24
by JT Poole and Nicole Brown

Saturday Late Morning -- On the way to Louisville

Brian's POV

After returning back to the kitchen area to spend some time with JT and Chad, my mood was shattered when he announced that the two of them would be leaving to head back to Orlando sometime tomorrow afternoon. To say the least, I'm a little bit upset and pissed off. I don't know if he's leaving tomorrow because that's what he originally planned to do or if it has something to do with whatever that happened on Diamonds' tour bus. Watching the scenery out the window pass by, it did nothing to help calm me down. At that point, I didn't know if I should be crying or just plain out mad. The guy I'm going to marry one of these days is keeping a secret from me and it's tearing him apart inside. Why won't he let me help him deal with it? Maybe he'll tell me what's going on before he and Chad leaves me.

"Brian is there something wrong?" Chad asks, staring at me as he waved his hand in my face.

"I'm sorry buddy, I was thinking about some things. What's up?" I ask him as JT got up from the table and pulled out his cell phone.

"I was asking you what you were going to do around on this bus until we got to Louisville," he says to me as I turned to watch JT.

"I might just chill out and watch some TV in the lounge. You want to join me buddy?" I ask him, laughing when he shook his head hurriedly. "I'll take that as a yes. Come on, let's give your dad some space so he can take care of some business things."


I don't know what to do to actually make this day go by faster than what it is. I wish I didn't have to deal with this day, but I have no choice in the matter. I'm a strong man and all, but I don't know if I can handle this situation or not. I just need to take a breath and call Kess to see if Nikki's alright and then I'll be able to proceed with my plans so I can take care of things.

Looking back at Brian and Chad, I sigh and dial the number to Kess' cell and wait for her to answer. Please God, give me the strength I need to get through all of this.

"Good morning Kess," I say into the phone as I looked back at Brian and Chad again to see that they were walking back towards the back of the bus. "How are things going with you girls?"

"What can I say JT, it was a helluva night," she says, sighing as I sat down.


"How is she Kess? Is she alright?" I ask, covering my eyes, trying to calm myself down.

"I don't know what to say about her right now JT. She's in the lounge with Josh and he's actually comforting her and she's not frantic like I thought she would be. She's calm and collected, but I don't know for how long. Denial goes a long way with her it seems JT. She acting like everything's normal, that nothing happened last night," she says as I frown.

"Maybe she is in denial Kess. You heard how she was talking last night. She said he didn't do anything, even though there was evidence to the fact that he did. We all could see that something happened. Hell, even Ray Charles could see it," she says as I shake my head, wanting to laugh, but considering the situation I didn't.

"Kess this is no time for cracking jokes. This is a very serious matter we have here before us," I tell her, getting up from my spot and stretching. "Nick hurt her and badly. I'm trying to figure out what to do about all of this."

"There's nothing to figure out JT. We need to kick his bony ass for what he did to her JT. The bastard deserves a massive beatdown and then to get hauled off to jail and not pass go. He won't be collection two hundred dollars in this game. I tell you he needs jail time for this bro. No person should have to be brutalized like that," she says as I could hear her punching her fist into her hand.

"You have a point Kess, but we can't just go around beating his ass like we want to," I tell her. "Pretty soon all of this stuff is going to catch up to us and when it does, it won't be funny. I don't think Nikki will be able to handle that kind of fallout. She's already in denial about what Nick did to her. If it gets out that he raped her, God knows what will happen and what it will cause down the line."

"You're right JT, but he still deserves a beatdown and to be shot or something," she says as I frown.

"Yeah he deserves all of that Kess, but are we the ones to do it?" I ask her as I look up to see Brian standing there with his mouth wide open, staring back at me. "Oh fuck."

"What's wrong JT?" Kess asks as I stand up and look at him and then the phone.

"Kess I'll have to call you back," I say as I pressed the `end' button on my phone and laid it on the seat.

"So that's what's going on. I don't fucking believe this," Brian says, turning around and placing his hand on the top of his head. "Nick raped her? He raped her?"

"Yeah that's the consensus," I tell him and he just swings his fist in the air and turns away from me.

"What the hell is wrong with him? What the hell is his reason to do something like that and to Nikki of all people?" Brian asks as I shrugged my shoulders and looked down. "What did he say?"

"Nothing," I say, walking closer to Brian. "When I was called last night to go down to the girls' tour bus that was what I found out. When Nick saw me and Josh, he took off running off the bus and I haven't seen him since then."

"Why did you feel the need to leave me out of the loop baby?" He asks, frowning now. "Why didn't you tell me this last night when you got back on the bus?"

"Like I told you then, it's not my business to tell. If Nikki wanted you to know, I would let her or Nick tell you what went on," I tell him as he pulls me to him.

"JT something else is going on, I can feel it in my chest. You're hiding something from me. What is it that you're not telling me here?" He asks me as I look at him strangely.

"What do you mean Brian? You just found out what happened last night," I tell him as he shakes his head at me.

"Baby something else is going on," he says, wrapping his arms around me. "We're going to be married JT. Why are you keeping secrets from me?"

"I'm not keeping secrets from you," I tell him as he lays his head on my shoulder.

"Okay baby, whatever you say," he says, pulling back from me. "What are you going to do about Nick? Is he going to jail? What's going to happen to him JT?"

"I don't know what's going to happen to him Brian," I say, looking down at the floor. "He hurt her and in the eyes of the law, that's a crime and he'd spend some time in jail for what he did. But right now, with the way Nikki's acting, she probably won't press charges against him since she says he didn't do anything to her."

"I'm not worried about the police baby, I want to know what it is you're going to do to him...as in are you going to shoot him or something?" Brian asks as I spotted Chad walking towards us.

"No and I think we need to can this discussion for right now," I say, turning my attention to Chad. "Hi son, what's up?"

"Daddy what's going on?" He asks, looking at me. "I just tried calling Aunt Nikki and Tayla answered the phone and said that she couldn't talk right now that she was sick or something."

"Son Nikki is a little bit sick right now, she needs to get some rest. I'm sure she'll call you later on and talk with you," I tell him, looking into Brian's eyes as he still was crying.

"Okay daddy," he says, turning back around and heading towards the back. "I'm going to get her GameBoy™ and play Tetris™ for awhile."

"Okay son," I say, looking down quickly. This is going to be an even longer day.

Lexington, KY -- The Airport

Jason's POV

I just got into Lexington and I'm sure my friend got here a little bit before me. This chase is going on a little too long and it's about time for it to come to an end. When I catch up to that bitch, she's going to regret ever running away from me. I told her before we got married that I'll never let her go and get away from me. When we got married and said until death do we part, I meant that shit and she's going to live by those fucking vows if I have to kill her myself.

Getting into town, I just found out that two of the Backstreet Boys' families live here in this town. Since she's hanging around with those bozos, maybe she'll be stupid enough to appear at the houses of one or those families. If she knows what's good for her, she'll not involve any more people into her life. Right now, she's a dangerous person to be around and I'm going to keep it that way. Maybe then she'll learn to not run from me and cause this fucking stress. When I'm done with her mind, she'll think that all the trouble was all her fault and then I'll have her back. She'll be broken and finally mine again. I just need to do my best to get her back now so I can find out exactly what it was that she told anyone about what I'm doing. For all the people she's been around and if they know about my business, then they are possibly going to loose their life. Maybe this is going to work like I want to after all. Loose all of her friends and not having anyone to run too. Good I like that.

Finding the hotel I had reservations at, I pulled into the hotel's parking area and spotted the person that was supposed to be meeting me here. Parking the car and getting out, the young man approached my car and waved at me.

"Good afternoon," he says, extending his hand for me to shake. "You must be Jason Cavanaugh."

"I am, you must be Quentin Myers," I say as he smiled at me and then stepped back away from me as I got out and headed for the trunk to get my things. "Is everything else set up like I asked man?"

"So far so good, but I don't really think that they are coming here anytime soon," he says as I look at him with a puzzled look on my face. Did I miss something?

"Why would you think that?" I ask him as he pulls a piece of paper out of his pocket and starts reading it.

"For starters, I did my best to get the guys itinerary and the information I was able to get shows that they won't be here in Lexington until after Tuesday," he tells me, handing the piece of paper to me.

"What? I don't fucking believe this," I say, looking at the piece of paper. "This thing says that they are in Louisville."

"I'm thinking that's where they're headed. If you give me a moment, I can try to confirm it," he says, looking back at me.

"How can you confirm this?" I ask him.

"I know their travel manager. I can give him a call and see if he'll tell me anything good," he says, pulling out his phone, I guess waiting on me to tell him what I wanted to do.

"Well call this person and find out where they are. I want to find that bitch as soon as possible and go back to Cali," I say as he opens his phone and dialed a number.

At that moment in Louisville, KY -- The Max Hexton Hotel -- JT's Room


We ain't too long got here and I can honestly say that if God doesn't strike me down soon, I'm going to do something that I'll never be able to take back. I know I shouldn't be thinking the things I'm thinking, but I don't think I can get over what Nick did to Nikki last night. I know that's just another thing that connects us, but we shouldn't be connected by so much pain, we should be connected by happy things. In the last few years, nothing, I mean nothing good has come about anything in our lives. Well right now, I can actually say something good came out of something bad, I have a son, a son that I will do my best to try to raise like I'm supposed to. Oh well, back to reality for now.

When we arrived here at the hotel a little after three, Johnny was here to greet us along with two Kentucky State Police officers. What the hell are they doing here? After talking to Johnny, he told me about his little talk with the tour doctor. Apparently, the tour doctor had called the police early this morning and told them a little something about Nikki's condition. Even though he didn't know what was wrong with her, I think he figured a little bit of it out with how bad Nikki's face was swollen and the bruises on her arms. Hell, I would've figured that shit out too. With the added information that Nick was no fucking where around to be found, I guess he added the pieces together to get what he needed to call the police. This is going to be so fucking terrible; I might just have to wreak havoc on Nick after all.

Calling the gang, I told them what was going on and that they need to do whatever's necessary to keep the police from getting to Nikki right now. Coming back up here and telling some falsehoods, the police thought that Nikki was here with me, even though she wasn't. Doing my best to keep the police away from where she was, I was told that once they talked to everyone involved, they would be on their way. Oh great, how are we going to keep this shit out of the media now. These police officers are breathing down my neck right now and we can't leave here until they've talked to everyone, which means Nikki too.

Getting JC, Kess, Tayla and Danielle's help, I gave them the task of guarding Nikki and not allowing her out of her room. Hopefully, if they can't find Nikki, they'll give up and leave this matter alone. >From what Danielle told me a few minutes ago, they've been keeping Nikki busy and out of reach so to speak while the police are doing searches of all the rooms that we have reserved.

Looking at my watch and then picking up my PalmPilot™, I called Johnny again so we could discuss what plan of attack we would use to get out of this mess. Before anything else could happen, my first task would be to organize a meeting and let all the people in our ranks know what was going on, without really telling them. This is just going to be hard. With the way things are going, this tour is either gonna come to a screeching halt or the girls of Diamonds' won't be around here long.

Turning my attention to things going on in this room, I looked around to see that both Brian and Chad were lying on the sofa and Chad had fallen asleep in his arms. That's so cute, why don't I have a camera to take a picture of this cute moment? Oh well, I need to get busy with organizing a meeting. Before I could pick up the papers I would need to call everyone, my cell phone rang. Looking at the caller ID, I sighed, not really wanting to talk to the person on the other end.

"Hello Quentin, what can I do for you?" I ask, looking down at the papers.

"Yo, JT my man, where you at? I thought you were supposed to be back home already," he said as I grabbed my bottled water and walked over to the table in the room.

"I'm in Louisville with the guys and I'm not going to be back home until probably sometime tomorrow or Monday. Is there something wrong Quentin?" I ask him, looking through the papers in the folder.

"No buddy, I just wanted to know how you were is all," he said as I shook my head.

"Okay then, I have to go. I'll talk to you some other time," I tell him, looking over at Brian as he smiled at me.

"Oh okay then. Later," he said as I heard the phone click and then my phone beeped. Oh great, I have voice mail messages. I wonder who they can be from.

Listening to my messages, I stopped what I was doing when I heard one particular message. Now I need my gun. I'm gonna put a stop to this crazy madness once and for all. Putting the papers back into the folder, I got up, placed my phone into my pocket and then walked out of my room, traveling to the floor above us. When I got to that floor, I was going straight to Jamie's room and beat his ass.

Around the same time that afternoon -- Down the Hall

Nikki's POV

I was never so happy to see a hotel as I was this morning when we got here, but that momentary joy has turned into major annoyance. We have been at this hotel for over three hours and Kess, Josh and Tayla are holding me a virtual prisoner in my own room! They have their own rooms, but they all insisting on staying in here with me. I'm bored out of my freakin' mind and craving chocolate, so if those three think I'm staying in this room all night, they got another thing coming! You'd think they would have remembered that my husband is a cop and that I have some knowledge of how to get out of places I don't want to be.

I peeked out the door, snickering when I see that the coast is clear. So far so good...I can hear the three of them in the bathroom arguing about something, but my mind is on the chocolate cream pie and the devil's food cake I spied in the restaurant downstairs. So intent am I on getting my chocolate fix that I don't see the small divan in front of me, and down I go. I try to catch myself on the arm of the couch, but that's a no go too. The noise brings the posse, and I'm almost ready to cry as my one chance to get sustenance slips through my fingers.

"Just where do you think you're going, Miss Thang?" Kess asks with that annoying snide voice she uses when she's trying not to laugh at something. I looked up at her, dying to claw her eyes out, but something in Josh's eyes stops me.

"Are you alright babe?" he asks as he helps me up. I snatched my hand back, foul scowl firmly in place as I eyeballed all of the coconspirators.

"I'm fine, but damn it, I need—no, I want some chocolate!" I snapped, frown slipping into pout in record time. "Come on you guys! We've been at this hotel for over three hours and nobody's even said anything about going down to the restaurant! I crave the chocolaty sweet goodness that can only be found in a genuine, chock full of sugar and other bad stuff chocolate cream pie... or even better a Devil's food cake. I need food, and if you three won't go get it, then I'll go get it my darned self."

"Honey, if you were hungry all you had to do was say so," Josh said in his most reasonable voice, but I'm so far into my chocolate deprivation that all I desire is to get to the sweet stuff.

"Ya'll should know that if I've been on that damned bus all night that I'd be hungrier than a freakin' hostage!" I retorted, walking to the door so I could be on my way, but Kess and Tayla block my way. "Okay, ya'll need to be getting' out of my way unless you wanna have a frosty cold can of whoop ass opened up in here this afternoon!"

"Nikki, you can't go out there!" Tayla blurted out wincing at the combined death stares she was getting from Josh and Kess. "What? It's not like she isn't going to figure out what's going on when she sees a hall full of police officers jonesing to talk to her."

"Thanks a lot Tay," Kess snorted, eyeing Tayla with some disdain before she turned to me.

"Wait... what is she talking about the police looking for me?" I asked, mind flashing back to Jason's threat to find me by any means necessary, but Kess' next words put my mind at ease—for all of about two seconds that is.

"They're here to talk to you about..." Kess began, but she froze up and Josh gave an exasperated sigh.

"They want to talk to you about Nick and what he did to you last night," Josh explained impatiently as I began to scowl.

"I fuckin' told you people that he didn't do anything that I didn't want!" I lashed out, stomping in the direction of my room, but Josh's hand on my arm prevented me from getting very far. "Let go of me, you ass! I'm not pressing charges against him no matter what any of you say, so just give it up!"

"We know that—and we weren't the ones who called them," Kess explained, coming to stand beside me. "JT said that apparently the tour doctor put two and two together when Nick disappeared around the time of your... accident, and that he called the police because he's a mandated reporter."

"I give two shits if he's a mandated reporter, he shouldn't have called them!" I screamed, throwing off the comfort of their embraces and pacing the room like a caged tigress. "Wait... isn't he a paid part of the tour? Josh, can we fire that big mouthed bastard for this?"

"We could, but if we did that then he'd sue all of us and then the truth would come out anyway," Josh replied, smirking at the look on my face. "And since when did you become such an advocate of firing people just because they told something you didn't want to get out?"

"Since the thing I didn't want told could wind someone I still care about in jail," I retorted angrily, going over to the phone and grabbing the room service menu. "Well, since I'm not gonna be able to blow this Popsicle stand like I'd intended, I'm just gonna order some room service. Anybody want anything?"

"No girl... you just go ahead and order what you want," Kess replied. Tayla just shook her head no, grinning when I looked at JC impatiently.

"Go ahead and order babe," he stated, smirking just a little bit. "After all, I remember how testy you could get when you didn't have your chocolate fix. I'll order something later."

I called downstairs and placed my order, making sure to add as much chocolate as I could without getting into trouble. I spent the twenty minutes it took for it to arrive flipping through every channel the TV had to offer, if for no other reason than to annoy my three self appointed bodyguards. When the food finally arrived, I tore into it like a starving man at a five course banquet. I ate all the food I could hold, only stopping when my stomach began to feel like I was about to hurl. Kess' phone rang and she went into the bathroom to answer it, snickering at the way I had to unbutton my pants because I'd eaten so much.

"You know you gonna be sick from eatin' all that," she stated as she disappeared into the bathroom.

"Just make sure you're on the toilet when I do get sick hooka!" I retorted, giggling when Josh sat next to me and rubbed my belly. "Cut that out silly."

"What? I thought you liked it when I rubbed your tummy when you're full," Josh said with a grin as he tickled my stomach. Tayla make a gagging sound, sticking her finger down her throat. Josh gave her the finger, laughing when she gave it back to him. "You're such a comedian. I wonder what's taking Kessa so long?"

"I just got a call from JT," Kess stated as she exited the bathroom with a worried frown. "He just told me that the cops are pulling a room to room search for you. He suggested that we wait until they get through in one of the other rooms and then move you there."

"Well shit... just when I get used to being here I gotta do some ole sneaky ass, ghetto fabulous "creepin' out my married boyfriend's house cause his wife came home in mid-stroke" type shit,"

I snorted, grabbing my purse off the side table. We gathered around the door and Tayla called Danielle to come be our lookout. When she gave the okay signal, we all crept out into the hallway and headed for a room the cops had already searched.

"Guys, I think I'm gonna lie down for a while," I stated as we all got settled in. Josh and Kess turned to me with worried frowns, but I ignored them and went into the bedroom, closing the door behind me and slipping out of my clothes.

Is this day ever gonna end? I thought as I lay down on the bed and tried to fall asleep.

Upstairs in Lance and Justin's Room

Lance's POV

Whoa, there's a lot of shit going on around here and I'm glad it has nothing to do with us. When we arrived at the hotel earlier, we got the shock of our lives when the State Police were waiting for us. What the hell is going on? Did someone commit a  violent crime or what? They boarded the bus and wouldn't let us leave until they talked to us and found out what we were doing the night before. This is starting to scare me. Does this have anything to do with JT and Brian? With all the shit that happened last night, I wouldn't be surprised if he called the fucking cops to try some shit. He can cause problems for me now, but he'll get his as soon as he finds out I'm suing him for that shit he pulled with Johnny. Both of them are going to get what's coming to them. After the police guys had talked to us for about a good ten minutes I was relieved. I actually thought this had to do with Joey's court case, but to my surprise, it had something to do with them Diamonds' bitches. If you ask me, I could've told everyone that they were trouble and saved everyone a whole lot of trouble.

Enough of that, we're up here in our room and we're relaxing, waiting for Joey and Chris to get here. I don't know what's being going on with him lately, but he's not like he used to be. I think he's made that me and Justin are getting married. Oh well, I'm not going to worry about that right now. I have my man and I'm happy with the way things are going. Getting up to get a drink, I kissed Justin on the cheek and walked into the small kitchen area so I could fix myself a drink. Asking Justin did he want anything, he got up and joined me as I poured myself some Jack Daniels and mixed it with some Coke. Before I could start on his drink, someone was banging on the door. I wonder who that can be.

"Jamie open this got damn doh!" I heard from the other side of the door. That sounds like JT. Oh great, he found out about my little surprise I take it. "Open this doh damnit!"

"Why hello JT, what can I do for you?" I asked, leaning against the door as Justin walked up behind me.

"You're not going to get away with any of this Jamie," he says, eyeing me like he wanted to hit me or something.

"Too late for that JT, you brought this on yourself," I say to him as his expression changed and he turned around. "You fucked me, now I'm fucking you."

"That'll never happen again!" He shouts, turning around quickly, his finger waving in my face. "I'm not that person from long ago that let you walk all over him. You got over on me back then, but you won't do it now. I'm not going to let you get away with any of this Jamie."

"There's nothing you can do about it now JT. When I'm done with you, I'll get back what you took from me plus some," I tell him, smirking as Justin started laughing and he turned to walk towards the door.

"Aw hell naw!" He shouts, turning back around again as he grabbed me by the collar of my shirt. "How dare you! You talk shit to me and think you can do this. Haven't you used, abused and misused me enough over the years?"

"I haven't done anything to you," I say, struggling a little bit to get away from him.

"Oh now you haven't done anything! You wasn't so smug when you were bragging to your fucking friends Jamie! You were the man when you would drug me up and pass me around to your fuckin friends. But now all of a sudden, you haven't done anything to me? Yeah that's right, you haven't done anything. I was mistaken," he says, letting me go. Before I knew what was going on, he had jumped on me and started punching me.


This muthafucka don lost his fucking mind. How dare he talk shit to me like this in front of Justin fucking Timberlake no less? I've dealt with this shit and kept it on the inside for far too long. Now it's my turn to hand down some punishments. If I was stronger back when we first met, I wouldn't have let him gotten away with all the crap he's pulled on me over the years. The flood gates are open and I don't think I can close them.

"What's wrong Jamie? Where that mouf now?" I ask him, punching him in the face as Justin was riding my back trying to pull me off of his man.

"Get off him JT!" Justin screamed as I turned slightly and popped him in the face, knocking him backwards causing him to fall back against the wall in the room, probably breaking his nose in the process.

"Come on Jamie talk that shit now! What's wrong Jamie? Cat got your fucking tongue?" I ask him, punching him in the stomach now as he was still struggling to block my punches.

"JT stop this!" Jamie screamed out, grabbing my hand and holding me from hitting him. "Stop please!"

"Stop please? Did you stop when I used to beg you?" I asked him, getting up hurriedly and kicking him in the side. "All those mornings I cried, did you at any time care about me or that your fucking friends hurt me? No you didn't fucking care! If you really ever cared about me, you wouldn't have done that shit in the first fucking place!"

"What the hell is he talking about?" Justin asks, still sitting in the corner of the room.

"He doesn't know the shit you did to me when we were together Jamie? Isn't he about to be your new husband?" I asked him as Justin got up off the floor slowly, still rubbing his nose.

"Lance what is he talking about?" Justin asked, standing back, not making a move to come near me.

"He's lying Justin," Jamie says as my whole body filled with anger and I started kicking him.

What the hell! Did he just say I was lying? How could he lay there and say I was lying? He was the one that allowed his friends to use me so that he could keep them happy! He hurt me for so long and I was the fool! I put up with all the shit he did to me and I didn't have the backbone to get rid of him! Now that I'm stronger, he's here telling lies that he doesn't know what I'm talking about! I ought to kick his ass to sleep!

I don't know how long I was kicking him for, but I stopped when I felt arms holding me back. Coming back to reality, Brian and Kevin were holding me while Josh was kneeling down next to Jamie's body. From the looks on everyone's faces, Jamie wasn't doing so good.

Downstairs -- Tommy Lee's Room

Tommy's POV

I'm really pissed with Nick right now. We just got in to Louisville and the first thing he wants to do is find that bitch. I don't know why he's trying to find someone that hurt him like she fucking did. I don't know who the fuck she think she is, but I'm not going to let her get away with hurting Nick like that. I know he hurt her in a worse kind of way, but in my book, she fucking deserved that shit for what she put him through. If she loved him like she told him she did, she would've never kissed that other man. Hell he even suspects that she's sleeping with him.

Walking into the bathroom, he was leaning up against the sink crying. I wish he wouldn't cry over a bitch like her. It hurts me so much to see him hurting like this. I just wish he'd give me a chance, I'll make him forget about her and I'll be the only thing in his life that mattered. I just wish he was a little bit more open-minded. Maybe then, we can have a lot more fun together like we used too when we first met.

"Come on Nicky, it's going to be okay," I tell him, stepping in front of him and lifting his chin so that he could look at me. "You don't have to cry over that tramp. If she loved you like you say she does, she wouldn't have done what she did."

"She's not a tramp Tommy, I love her and I don't know if I'll ever be able to get over her," he says, looking down as a few tears escaped his eyes.

"Nicky you can't hold on to something you don't have. Can't you see that she's moved on to another man?" I ask him as he gasped and started crying harder again. "Nicky why can't you see that she doesn't love you? If she loved you, she wouldn't have been kissing JC Chasez."

"She loves me Tommy, they just have a strange history or something," he says, looking up at me, wiping at his eyes. "She just backpedaled a bit. It was just a minor slip up."

"Slip up my ass Nicky. What she did doesn't constitute love, it says out loud that she doesn't care about you at all.

"Nicky are you listening to yourself? You're making excuses for her. You're doing the same thing you did with Mandah," I tell him as he looked at me. A look that told me that reality was sinking in.

"Tommy she's not Mandah, she's different," he says, looking at me like he didn't know what else to say to me. "She's loving and gentle and she's never laid a hand on me or done anything else for that matter."

"Kissing another man is just as bad Nicky," I tell him as he moved past me. "Where are you going Nicky?"

"I'm going to find her. I need to see her. I need to make sure she's okay," he says, walking out of the bathroom and then into the main room to collect his things.

"Fine Nicky, I'll be here waiting for you," I say as he walked over to me and gave me a hug and then looked back down at the floor.

I wanted to hold him and kiss him and make all this better. Right now that's not an option yet since he's still dead set on making things right with that bitch. Why can't he just let her go and let me be what he needs? I know I can make him happy like no other person can. I can still remember how he first looked when I got to Memphis to help him. The night had took his toll on him and his hurt was all over his face. If I was his lover, he wouldn't have hurt all over his face. I have nothing but time, I'll be here waiting for him when she pushes him away or does something to hurt him more. I guess that's my job with him, pick up the pieces when bitches like her stomp on his heart.



I don't know any of the members of «N SYNC, Backstreet Boys or any other celebrities mentioned. I don't know anything about their sexual orientation or the orientation of any other celebrities in this story (even though I wish some of them were gay). This story is fiction and you shouldn't take it for anything else but that. This is for entertainment value only folks.