Lost Without You

Chapter -- 9
by JT Poole and Nikki Brown

Friday Around Midnight -- Orlando, FL -- JT's House


This day was long and stressful to me. There were moments when I thought I was going to actually have a break down or something. I know Nikki saw it and I'm quite sure Brian could probably imagine what I was feeling. After we got here from the shopping spree we went on at the Mall at the Millenia, the two of us, meaning Chad and I, took a tour of the house and he chose a room to be his bedroom. The way he ran throughout the rooms, I thought he was going to choose a room in a different part of the house, but he chose the one right down from me. I would have liked him to be next door, but he wanted the one that overlooked the pool and had its own bathroom. The room was set up for an adult, but after some assurances from Brian, the room would look totally different with all the stuff that he had bought while shopping.

After getting back to my room, I walked into my bathroom and just looked at myself in the mirror. I have a son and I don't know what to do at all. I'm going to be a terrible father, I can see it now. How am I supposed to raise a child with my hectic work schedule? This is going to hell and I don't know if I'm cut out to do it.

"Baby are you alright?" Brian asks me as he walks into the bathroom and stands behind me.

"I don't know what I am right now," I say, turning the water on and splashing some in my face. "How am I supposed to be a father Brian?"

"Don't sweat it baby, it will come to you," he tells me as I remember he has a son too. "Once all the drama dies down, things will start to work like they're supposed to."

"I hope you're right Brian," I tell him as I take off my clothes, not even thinking that he's standing right there and turn the water on to start my shower.

"I'll just go wait out in your room," he tells me as I come out of my small trance and turn around.

"I'm sorry Brian, I didn't...," I say as he shakes his head and walks over and kisses me.

"Don't worry about it baby. Under different circumstances, I would jump you and we would be in there having a free for all," he says as I start laughing.

"Oh sure, what dimension would that happen in?" I ask him as he frowns at me.

"Well fine then," he says as I grab his butt.

"Do you want to shower with me Brian?" I ask him as he thought about that for a minute and then he started taking off his clothes. "Be civil Mr. Littrell."

"You expect me to be civil with you in a shower with your dripping with body?" He asks me.

"Yes and you better be or else," I tell him as he starts to blush and I lean in and kiss him again. "I'm getting sleepy."

A Few Minutes Later

Brian's POV

That was one of the best showers I've taken in my life. JT is a hot guy and he knows it. I don't know why he hides that body of his under those expensive suits. He needs to break out and show some skin once in a while. I'm surprised I'm still here with him. I was under the impression that I wouldn't be staying the whole night. After we got out of the shower, we kissed and he pulled me into bed with him. I'm not going to protest about something like that, but I don't want to make things strange between him and his son.

"I'm glad that day is finally over," I say as he shakes his head, flipping through the channels on the television. "What are you trying to find on the television?"

"I don't know, but I'll know when I find it," he says, still flipping through the channels as I lean in to kiss him.

"Thanks for allowing me to share this day with you baby," I tell him as he smiles at me.

"I'm glad you were around to share it with me. I thought I was going to have a major breakdown or something," he tells me as I shake my head at him.

"No man of mine is having a breakdown anytime soon," I tell him. "If I'm not the cause of the breakdown, then it ain't happening."

"No man of yours? Hmmm, are you laying claims to me?" He asks me.

"Yeah I am baby," I tell him. "I'm falling in love with you and I hope you are feeling the same."

"Maybe I am," he tells me as we kiss again as someone knocks on his room door. "Come on in Nik-Nik."

"Hi daddy," Chad says as I move away from JT quickly and sit up on the other side of the bed.

"Is there something wrong Chad?" He asks him.

"I can't sleep," he tells us as JT reaches out for him and he climbs up on the bed. "Can I sleep here with you and you Brian?"

"Well I don't see why not," JT tells him as he looks at me and shrugs.

After JT pulled Chad close to him and hugged him, the little boy yawned and laid his head down on JT's chest and was back to sleep again. I'm glad we both had on our underclothes or this would've been a pretty awkward moment. Turning off the lamp on the table, he laid Chad down in between the two of us and grabbed the remote again.

"I guess this is as good a show as any," he tells me as he taps me on the shoulder. "Turn off that light and get into bed."

"Are you sure?" I ask him as he nods.

"He asked could he sleep with me and you. That means you, now get your tush back into bed," he tells me as I get back into the bed and turn off the lamp and before I knew it, I was asleep too.

Late Saturday Morning

Kess' POV

When I get my hands on him, I'm going to murder him. He told me that he and Nikki would be at the airport to pick me up and after waiting for an hour, I got tired of waiting. Getting a taxi and arriving at his house, I got my things out and paid the driver. Walking up to the door, I pressed the button, but no one answered. Getting pissed, I typed in some of the codes that I thought would override the alarm and open the door and finally found one that did the trick. Getting into the house and dropping my bags at the door, I looked around. Where the hell is everyone?

"JT! Nikki! When I find you two, I'm going to kill you!" I shout as I hear what sounded like someone dropping something.

"Girl you could be a little less noisy, everyone's still sleeping," Nikki tells me as she walks around the corner carrying a cup of coffee and the morning paper. "Screaming like a damn banshee in here, trying to wake the damn dead."

"Sorree," I say walking over to her and hugging her. "I'm happy to see you too. So where is lover boy?"

"He's probably upstairs still asleep," she tells me as she takes a sip of her coffee, sits down on the sofa and turns on the television.

"Well why isn't he down here? Why didn't you guys come and pick me up at the airport?" I ask her as she looks at me like she didn't know what I was talking about.

"What are you talking about?" She asks me.

"I called him Thursday night and he said that the two of you would pick me up this morning from the airport," I tell her as she looks at me, looking like she has no clue of what I'm talking about. "I called him Thursday while you two were at a club or something and I told him my plane would get in today. He said you and him would be there to pick me up."

"Well with everything that's happened, I'm sure he forgot," she tells me.

"Okay what happened girl?" I ask her, getting worried a little bit. "Is he sick again? Did he snap and try to kill someone? Did Quentin do something to him? Did he lose his job? Does it have something to do with Lance?"

"No he's not sick. Quentin didn't do anything to him and ewwww. He didn't lose his job and it doesn't have anything to do with Lance," she tells me as I stand there waiting for her to tell me something.

"Then what happened girl? Why you torturing me like this?" I ask her.

"Yesterday he found out that a girl he dated from back in Georgia died and that he has a son," she tells me as I think about that for a second and then join her on the sofa.

"He has a son?" I ask her.

"Yep and he's upstairs, probably asleep too," she tells me as a whole lot of stuff flashed through my mind.

"So he's probably got a lot of stuff on his mind then," I say as she nods her head.

"Yep and since he had a long day yesterday, it probably slipped his mind," she tells me as I hear what sounded like footsteps above me. "That's probably him, Brian or Chad going to the bathroom."

"He has two little boys?" I ask her as she smiles and shakes her head.

"No he doesn't girl. Chad is his son and Brian, as in Brian Littrell from the Backstreet Boys is his man," she tells me as she takes another sip of her coffee.

"What? He has a man and it's Brian Littrell?" I ask her as she just simply nods and takes another sip of her coffee and turn the page in the paper. "Damn a whole lot happens when you leave the country."

"That means you shouldn't leave the country often," she tells me as the footsteps got louder and faster and before I could turn around a little boy was heading into the kitchen.

"Was that Chad?" I ask as she nods again.

"Yep that's the cute little angel," she tells me as I stand back up and walk up the stairs.

"I'm going to speak to the daddy and he better be decent," I say as she laughs and turns the page of the paper again.

Upstairs in JT's Room


I feel so refreshed this morning. I guess that's a sign that it's going to be a beautiful day. Looking around the bed, Chad is gone, but Brian is still sleeping like a baby. Getting up out of the bed and walking into the bathroom to take care of morning business, I turn on the water and splash some in my face. Pulling out my shaving kit, I lather up my face and pull out my razor. Before I could start shaving, I hear Brian scream. Dropping the razor into the water, I ran out of the bathroom to see Kess standing against the wall and Brian sitting up against the headboard of the bed. Walking over to her, Nikki and Chad ran into the room too with Nikki almost out of breath.

"What in the world is going on in here?" I ask as Kess looks at me and starts laughing.

"Sorry Santa, I thought he was you and I started putting the moves on him, like I would normally do you. I didn't know he was in your bed," she tells me as I could imagine what it was she had done to him.

"Sure you did girl. Brian are you okay?" I ask him as he nods, looking at her evilly.

"Girl what did you do to Brian?" Nikki asks as Kess started blushing.

"Well we can say that JT won't be dissatisfied in the boyfriend department," Kess says as Brian starts to blush and moves the pillow over his crotch.

"Okay young ears are in the room," I say, grabbing Chad and going back into the bathroom. "You two fix what you did."

Later on Downstairs


"So how was Europe?" I ask, sitting down next to Kess as Chad sits down next to me.

"Well I didn't get to see much of Europe at all. I spent most of my time in the studio or out on stage. When we got back to the hotel it was late and we were all too tired to do anything," Kess tells me.

"Well I guess next time you will just have to schedule some time to see it," I say, pouring myself another cup of coffee.

"Yeah I guess I would have to. Seems like a wasted trip to me," Kess says, looking over at Brian. "So Brian, when do we leave?"

"Leave? Leave for what?" Brian asks her.

"Well you are a Backstreet Boy right?" She asks, looking at him funny with a smirk on her face. "I'm going to be on tour with you guys."

"What are you doing coming on tour with us?" Brian asks her and then looks over to me. "Did I miss something?"

"Well I'm going to be one of you guys' backup dancers and I'm also part of the opening act," Kess tells him as he looks at me funny.

"I thought you two introduced yourselves up in my room?" I ask, as she smiles and he frowns.

"Lawd, ya'll some ghetto characters," I say, letting my country ghetto drawl out. "Brian Littrell, Kessandra Daniels."

The both of them looked over at each other and Kess got up and reached out her hand to shake his. Brian took her hand and blushed.

"Well at least you shook my hand this time and not something else," he said as I glared at him as he covered his mouth. "Sorry."

"You're going to harp about that forever aren't you? I thought you were him," Kess tells him as I just watch the two of them, wondering when they would shut up.

"No, I think I'll be quiet now," Brian says as he looks down at the part of the paper he was reading as the gate alarm sounded.

Getting up to go check the gate monitor, I see that its some delivery trucks and I press the button to let them in. Walking back into the kitchen, I walk over to Brian and tap him on the shoulder.

"What all did you and Chad buy yesterday?" I ask him.

"Daddy is it here?" Chad asks, getting up from the table.

"Is what here?" I ask, looking at Brian, wondering what was going on.

"Remember when I told you his room would totally look different?" Brian asks me.

"Yeah I do, it was only a few hours ago Brian," I tell him as he smiles weakly.

"Well those guys are bringing in his bedroom," he tells me as I just sat back down at the table.

"Well you go supervise them," I say, popping him on the leg. "You make sure they move the things that are in there now into one of the empty rooms in the other part of the house."

"Owww, okay baby," he says as he gets up and walks out of the room with Chad following him as Nikki and Kess look at me.

"What?" I ask, looking at the two of them.

"You got a man and he's spoiling your child already," Kess says, smirking at me.

"I guess so," I tell her as she leans over and hug me.

"What's that for?" I ask her.

"For being able to finally move on with your life. I'm glad that Lance is finally behind you," she tells me as Nikki nods.

"Lance is the farthest thing from my mind," I tell her as she squint her eyes at me. "I haven't thought about Lance in a long time."

"Sure you haven't," Kess tells me, picking up the paper that Nikki had finished with. "I remember a tall black man that owns this house crying about a certain blonde-haired, green-eyed bass singer a few days ago."

"I believe that one," Nikki says, turning the pages in the paper as we all got quiet for a few minutes.

"I wasn't thinking about Lance Bass," I say as I could hear the delivery guys moving things around upstairs.

"Why would you be thinking about Lance Bass baby?" Brian asks, walking into the room with Chad.

"Daddy come and see it," Chad says, grabbing my hand and pulling me up from my chair. "Come on and look at it."

"What is it I'm going to see?" I ask him as he pulls me up the stairs and we stop at the door to his room.

"The stuff that Brian bought for me," he tells me as he pushes the door open and the room doesn't look like it did this morning.

I stood standing there in the doorway as Chad ran around in the room as the three delivery guys walked out. He had a bed that looked like a race car, matching desk, chair, bedside tables and lamps. I think he and Brian went a little bit overboard with the shopping, but I would talk to Brian about that later. Looking elsewhere in the room, I noticed that the desk had a computer, printer and scanner. Chad had his own entertainment center with TV, DVD, CD player, X-Box and Playstation. Walking over to the center, the shelves were filled with what seemed like every Disney™ movie ever made for a child.

"Oh my God," I say as Brian walk into the room.

"Do you like it?" Brian asks me as I turn around and look at him like I didn't know what to do or say.

"Brian, do you think maybe you two went a little bit overboard?" I ask him as he looks at Chad and then back at me.

"Nope," he says as he leans in and kisses me in front of Chad. "I think we got everything he needed."

"Like an eleven year old boy needs all of this," I say as he grins and nods.

"Your son is happy and he likes it. Believe me baby, he'll never have a boring moment in here," Brian tells me as he wraps his arms around me as Chad sits down on the bed and watches the two of us.

"Brian he's watching us," I whisper to him as he leans in and kisses me.

"I know baby, he likes it that I'm your boyfriend," he tells me as he kisses me again. "It was his idea for us to come up here and see how his room turned out."

"That didn't mean for you to be here kissing me in front of him," I say as Chad starts giggling.

"Daddy you're funny," Chad says as he grabs my hand and Brian's. "You act like gay people don't exist."

"Chad are you okay with me being gay and being with Brian?" I ask him as he looks up at me and then Brian.

"It's okay daddy. I'm cool with it," Chad tells me as he hugs me.

"Okay, if I wasn't with Brian, would you still be cool with me being gay?" I ask him as Brian looks at me strangely and pulls away.

"Yeah daddy, I would still be cool with you. You're all I have left in the world and I'm all you have for right now," he tells me as I look down at him shocked at what he just said. He's a smart kid.

"Okay, just checking," I say as I smack Brian on his arm playfully. "What are we going to do today?"

"Why don't we go out and show him around town," Brian suggests, looking down at Chad as I look over to him to see if he wasn't hurt by what I said.

"Sounds good to me," I say, kissing Chad on the top of his head. "Why don't you get a bath and we'll go rustle up the girls and hit the town."

"Cool daddy," Chad says as he goes into the bathroom.

"Come on handsome, why don't we go have a talk," I say as Brian looks at me funny.

"Alright," Brian answers me as we walk out of the room.



I don't know any of the members of «N SYNC, Backstreet Boys or any other celebrities mentioned. I don't know anything about their sexual orientation or the orientation of any other celebrities in this story (even though I wish some of them were gay). This story is fiction and you shouldn't take it for anything else but that. This is for entertainment value only folks.