Love Thru Chat
By Billy Burrew
Disclaimer: This is a work of erotic fiction. It does not reflect on the sexual orientations or proclivities of the band members of NSYNC. If it is illegal to view erotic fan fiction in your area or you are under aged or whatever the reason may be, please move on, otherwise....Please read it and enjoy!
Previously on Love Thru Chat
The standing ovation that the audience gave Paul became a deafening roar of approval as Lance got up and walked down the aisle to the stage. The audience cheered wildly as Lance was immediately engulfed in the arms of his love.
Bill watched through tear-blurred eyes as Lance let the pain and misery that had ruled his heart for the past two years be scoured away by the great abundance of passion, love and need contained within Paul's kiss.
JC watched Lance and Paul's embrace and nodded sagely, knowing instantly and undoubtedly that Paul would never let anything come between himself and Lance ever again. JC knew that look on Paul's face all too well. He had seen that look in his own face five years ago after he'd been given his second chance with Bill.
JC looked over at Bill and smiled as he saw the tears of joy falling freely from his lover's cheeks. Of all the things that JC knew for sure, it was that he loved Bill even more every day. Bill had been by his side through everything, from when they were on the top to when no one would even give them the time of day and he'd never been anything but supportive, loving and caring.
JC reached out and touched his lover's chin, pulling Bill face to face with him. JC smiled as he saw his look of love returned in full force. JC leaned in and kissed Bill softly on the lips, not a short peck as he had before, but a longer, more passionate kiss, causing Bill to moan so softly that only JC could hear. JC pulled back and saw Bill slowly open his eyes and smile lovingly.
JC couldn't even imagine life without Bill, nor did he want to. JC was secure in the knowledge that their love together completed him.
Love Thru Chat: Epilogue 2
Twenty years had passed since Paul Summerstorm stood on a stage and performed. Twenty long and wonderful years. Paul looked out at the audience and realized that, with Lance by his side, he hadn't missed it at all.
But Lance was gone now...and Paul had come out of retirement to take this one chance to publicly mourn his love, much to the elation of the music community at large. Paul frowned and silently sighed under his breath as he reflected back to just a scant week before; back to the last few minutes he had shared with his lover at the hospital.
Paul watched as Lance's once beautiful, brilliant green eyes, now red rimmed and tainted a sickly yellow from his condition, slowly opened and turned their gaze to him.
"You're still with me, my golden haired Angel?"
Lance took a stunted breath and coughed lightly, clearing his throat so that he could talk.
"You blind old goat...my hair is light brown...it hasn't been golden blond for years.
Paul sniffled and leaned forward to kiss his lover's forehead, softly murmuring "I see only the gold, my love...only the gold."
Lance smiled weakly and took hold of his hand.
"JC and Bill want you to move in with them after..."
Paul shook his head.
Lance sighed and decided to drop the subject, knowing full well how stubborn and obstinate his lover could be. Lance hissed in a breath and groaned as a sharp, searing pain ripped through his abdomen.
Lance closed his eyes; the pain was increasing exponentially and instinctively Lance knew that his eyes would betray this fact to his lover. Lance was tired...tired of laying in bed, tired of being shackled with his dying liver and screwed up kidneys...tired of the incredible pain that they were causing him.
Lance had long ago given up hope for transplants and miracle drugs and was resigned to die, knowing that it would give him the one thing he wanted: an end to all his pain. At the same time, he thought sadly, it would take him away from the one thing he really loved. The one thing he cherished above all else...Paul.
"I love you Paul, never doubt that I did, and do love you."
Paul studied Lance's face as he spoke and then rested his head on Lance's stomach. Paul smiled softly as he felt his lover's hands begin to mess with his hair. Moments later, Paul started to cry as he felt Lance's fingers slowly stop moving and his hands fall limply to his sides as his breathing began to slow and falter.
"Baby...don't leave me....Lance...I love you so much. Don't leave me all alone...My golden haired angel...please."
Paul looked over and saw the EKG blip begin to slow and become smaller until finally it went flat. Paul dropped to his knees by the bed, ignoring the incredible pain that had begun to radiate throughout his chest and arms, and wept uncontrollably.
The next thing Paul remembered was having several nurses pulling him up and over to a chair, then placing a nitroglycerine tablet under his tongue. The pain in his chest and arms began to slowly abate and he opened his eyes. Paul stared at Lance's face, pale and lifeless, and began to weep once more.
JC and Bill arrived at the hospital just in time to witness Paul decking the second orderly and throwing two nurses out of the room by their necks. JC herded the doctors and nurses back to the nurse's station and began to talk to them, telling them that he and his lover would take care of the situation and asking them get back to their other patients.
Bill walked slowly into the room and stood beside the bed where Lance's body lay. His bottom lip quivered as all the memories he had shared with Lance since they'd met came pouring into his mind like a tidal wave, and the emotions that these memories carried with them threatened to drown the sanity of his grief-stricken mind.
Paul walked up to Bill and put an arm around his shoulders.
"They wanted to cover up his face...and take him away. I...I couldn't let them...I'm not ready to let him go just yet."
Bill nodded, "Glad I wasn't here...I'm too old to be duking it out like you, but I have one of those pocket tazers in my jacket...and I'm not afraid to use it."
Paul smiled, "He'd have loved to have seen that."
Bill nodded, "Yeah..I know."
Bill sighed. "Let's wait for Josh to finish soothing the hospital people and then he can say his goodbyes to Lance...then you and I can go and make arrangements for his...his, uh..."
"Funeral" Paul finished. "Yeah. Thank you for coming to help me...I don't think I could do this alone."
JC walked in and hugged Paul, then walked over to Lance's bedside and put his hand to his face at the sight of his friend and bandmate, who now lay dead before him. He said a quick prayer and then leaned down and kissed Lance on the forehead. He straightened up and walked back over to Paul and gave him another hug. As they embraced, neither man was able to stifle their sobs of grief.
Bill watched as JC said his goodbye to Lance and then walked over to embrace Paul. Bill leaned over the side of the bed and kissed Lance's cheek, his tears wetting Lance's now cooling face as their cheeks pressed together.
"Lance ...I only had two best friends in my whole life, and you were one of them. You were also my one-time boyfriend, and my closest confidante. I loved you more than I could ever show you and I'll miss you more than you could ever know. Goodbye Scoop."
Bill then turned back to Paul and nodded, moving past him and letting him have his privacy. Bill walked over to stand beside JC as they waited. JC looked up and reached out his hand, grabbing hold of Bill's and pulling him into a tight hug.
"I can't believe he's gone."
Bill nodded. "Josh...He was in so much pain...even with all the pain killers and drugs they gave him...he's gone to a better place."
JC nodded, then the two men looked up and gasped as they saw Paul kiss his lover one last time before taking the sheet and slowly pulling it over Lance's face and head. Paul then turned around and walked towards Bill and JC, nodding to them, before walking out of the room.
Paul's ruminations ended as he heard his name announced. He strode onto the stage and up to the waiting microphone.
"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. I wanted to thank y'all for letting me back on the stage tonight. About twenty years ago, I retired from the music business because I didn't want to have to choose between my singing career and being true to myself...living life with my lover, James Lansten Bass. I retired and Lance and I spent the last twenty years together. In that too brief a time together, I got a taste of what true happiness really is."
"As you may or may not know, Lance died last week from liver and kidney failure. I approached the people running this show to see if I could come out of retirement and perform one final song, one of his favorites, in his honor."
Paul sat down on the stool and picked up his guitar, ignoring the pain that had once again begun to radiate throughout his chest and arms. He had not taken any of the medication that the doctor's had given him after his collapse at the hospital...he just didn't see the need anymore. He took a deep breath and prayed for the strength to make it through one last song, then began to play the intro to the song.
Looking back on the memory of
The dance we shared, neath the stars above
For a moment, all the world was right
How could I have known that you'd ever say goodbye
And now I'm glad I didn't know
The way it all would end.
The way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance.
I could have missed the pain,
but I'd have had to miss the dance.
Holding you I held everything
For a moment wasn't I the king
But if I'd only known
how the king would fall
Well who's to say,
you know I might have changed it all
And now I'm glad I didn't know
The way it all would end.
The way it all would go.
Our lives are better left to chance.
I could have missed the pain.
But I'd have had to miss the dance.
Yes my life, its better left to chance
I could have missed the pain
But I'd have had to miss the.....dance.*
Paul finished the final chords of the song and used every bit of the remaining strength in his arms to put the guitar back in its stand before looking up at the stunned and silent crowd. The thunderous applause of the crowd, once they'd recovered from their shock, was incredible and Paul had never felt its equal, even in the heyday of his career.
Paul got up from the stool and turned around, looking one last time at the picture of himself and Lance that the producer had projected behind him on the large canvas screen. He bowed his head and sighed, "That was for you Lance, my golden haired angel."
Bill and JC watched Paul's performance from the sidelines, finding comfort in each other's arms when the memories of their departed friend overwhelmed them. Bill watched as Paul stood and placed the guitar back into its stand before looking out into the crowd. They then both stood stunned for a second as they watched Paul turn to look at the projected image and heard his whispered comment to Lance amplified through his microphone. They continued to watch as Paul turned back to the audience and clutched his chest, before dropping to his knees and falling down onto the stage. Bill gasped and ran to Paul with JC following closely behind..
"Paul?!? Paul....are you ok, PAUL?!?"
Bill watched as Paul's eyes opened slightly and he heard him wheeze painfully. Bill then looked up at the stagecrew and yelled, "I WANT AN AMBULANCE AND AN EMT CREW HERE NOW!"
Bill looked down as he felt Paul's hands grasp at his arm.
"No. No doctors. No medicine. I don't want that! Bill...please. I don't wanna live without him...please...just let me die."
Bill's eyes widened as he realized what Paul had just done, by telling him of his intentions, and he closed his eyes tightly, weighing his choices, his duty to his friend and his responsibility all at the same time before coming up with one single inevitable decision.
The EMT's rushed onto the stage and pushed past the gathering of stars, stagehands and on-lookers. As they reached Paul, Bill straightened up and looked at them.
"Step back you two. He has declined treatment."
"WHAT!?!" JC yelled from behind Bill, grabbing hold of his shoulder and turning him around to speak to him.
"He has invoked his right to refuse treatment..."
JC's face turned instantly red as he got up into Bill's face. "BUT HE'S
Bill sighed and nodded, "He has his right to die, as per the consitutional amendment that grants him that right."
"What are you saying?!? We're going to let him die?! Are you nuts!?!"
Bill's eyes turned to slits and he poked his finger into JC's chest, "Listen to me JC Chasez...he refused treatment...I witnessed that....I have to respect his right to do just that! You have no idea how hard this is for me right now! He's been living as half a man since Lance died...his world is shattered and he is both in physical and mental pain. I can't deny him his right to end his pain. I can't and I just won't!"
JC shook his head and turned away from him. "Some humanitarian you are."
Bill turned away from JC and knelt back down to Paul, watching as his breathing stopped and his face became relaxed in death, looking almost peaceful and serene. Bill sighed and shook his head. "Goodbye Paul."
Later, after the public had departed and Paul's body was covered and taken to the morgue, Bill stood backstage, answering the last few questions of the detective that was taking his statement. Bill walked around the stage area of the auditorium looking for JC. He found him on stage, sitting at the piano, his head in his hands.
"Josh...let's go home."
JC sighed, "I feel like even though we've been together for over 25 years, sometimes I don't think I know you at all."
Bill hung his head down and sighed. "Josh. please..."
"He chose to die...and you helped him. You let him die."
Bill sat down beside JC and grabbed his arm and pulled him so that they were face to face.
"Yes. Yes I did. Josh. Look at this."
JC looked as Bill reached under his shirt and pulled out a golden necklace locket.
"We've been together for like 25 odd years, I think I've seen that before."
Bill shook his head, "No. You haven't"
JC's eyebrow raised up and he leaned forward to take a closer look at the locket.
Bill opened the locket and saw JC smile as he saw a picture of the two of them inside on the left and a printed inscription on the right, "Josh and Bill Forever."
Bill reached over to the side of the inscription and pushed on it, causing it to fall out onto his open hand. Underneath the inscription lay a single pill.
Bill sighed. "It's for me. I understand what Paul went through because I've already had those thoughts myself. I've already made those plans for myself if something were to happen to you."
JC knitted his brow in confusion, "What?!?"
Bill sighed. "Josh...You and I have been together for a long time. I love you...and only you. If you were to die, I'd be lost....I'd be miserable...and like Paul, I'd only be half the man I am without you beside me. That pill is my way of never having to deal with that sort of thing. It will end my life for me if something fatal ever happens to you."
JC looked down at the pill and shook his head, "So...if I died, you'd just pop that pill and die too?!?"
Bill nodded. "Yes my love. It's not as crazy as it sounds...I just couldn't go on without you here with me. I don't want to end up like my grandma, sitting around for years after my grandfather died, miserable at his passing; finally going insane with grief and age and forgetting everyone and everything she ever knew. The last time I saw her alive, she thought I was her doctor. I vowed that would never happen to me."
Josh shook his head. "I don't understand choosing death over living...but I'll respect it because I respect you and your opinions."
Bill nodded and the two got up and headed back to their house.
Josh started awake at six in the morning, sitting up in bed and wondering why he had awoken so suddenly from his sleep. As he looked around the room, he smiled as his aged eyes fell on all the pictures of himself and Bill throughout the years. Josh had been with Bill for more than forty-five years now and he loved him more than anything else in the world.
Josh looked around the room for the cause of his premature awakening. Seeing nothing, he turned and laid back down. He turned and looked at his lover's face, and realized that Bill was no longer breathing. Josh sighed as he realized that he had been awoken not by the addition of something unusual or out of place, but by the absence of something that had been very usual and commonplace.
Josh reached over and rested his hand on Bill's face, tracing the contours of his cheek and jaw with his fingers. He half-expected Bill to open his eyes and wake up, but it did not occur. JC's eyes flickered back to the pictures of the two of them on the walls and on the dressers and he sighed as the realization hit home, the realization that Bill, the man that he loved, the man with whom he had spent more than half his life, was gone; dead at age 71.
JC's eyes turned and focused on a single picture on the dresser behind Bill, one of JC kissing Bill on their "wedding day" so many years ago, and his eyes began to fill up with tears. His eyes moved over to the picture beside it, one that had been taken only a few months before and he nodded his head as his mind became clear and his doubts and confusion disappeared..
JC turned back to face his lover and he smiled. "Bill...I understand now...I understand about your decision and about Paul and everything. I couldn't see it until just now."
JC kissed Bill lightly on the lips and let his hands fall to Bill's neck, where he grabbed hold of his locket and opened it. Carefully, JC pulled off the inscription and turned the locket over, letting the pill drop into his shaking hand. He closed the locket and then moved close to Bill, putting his arm around his lover's waist. He looked at the face of his lover one last time, "I can't live without you...anymore than you could live without me. A life without you here with me...wouldn't be worth living."
JC popped the pill into his mouth and swallowed it, then snuggled up next to Bill, putting both his arms around his lover and pulling him into one final, loving embrace.
-End of Epilogue 2-
* The Dance - Garth Brooks
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