Date: Wed, 26 Jul 2000 21:08:40 EST From: Cameron J Subject: Mile High Meeting-Chapter 10 Wow! 10 Chapters in the Nick-Cam story! I didn't know if I would make it this far, but here I am... I think I am going to make chapter 10 the last chapter in the story, as it seems like a good place to quit...okay, I am just kidding! I don't know where this story is going yet, but I like how things have transpired to this point, and I hope you all agree. This story is not meant to imply anything about the sexuality of any noun (you know...person, place or thing). Anyway, if you are underage, you shouldn't be here, so read at your own risk. On with the show... Mile High Meeting-Chapter 10 I had hoped that I would be able to sleep, as that seemed to be the only way to get the night's events out of my mind. However, it wasn't going to work, and I must have spent a few hours lying there, replaying the scene in my mind over and over. I guess I shouldn't have been all that surprised that Nick was so upset about Brian's revelation, but I didn't see why he automatically assumed that I would just jump ship at the first opportunity. That's what upset me more than anything. I soon realized that sleeping would be impossible, so I decided to get up. Because I wasn't in my condo, I didn't really have anything here to read, or anything else to occupy my time, so I just went over to the corner of the room and sat down in the recliner chair, which faced the bed. This gave me a good opportunity to watch Nick as he slept. Although I was not pleased with the way Nick was handling things, seeing him lying there still brought a smile to my face. He had turned over a bit earlier, and the moonlight streaming through the window made it possible for me to see every detail of his adorable face. I looked down at my watch, and pushed the light to see what time it was. It was after two in the morning. At least Nick was getting some sleep, as I certainly wouldn't be getting much. I continued to watch him, and a while later, he began moving around a bit, sliding his arm across the bed to discover that I was not lying there. He got a confused look on his face, and then opened his eyes to find my side of the bed empty. It took him a moment, but he eventually saw me sitting across the room as his eyes adjusted to the low level of light. "Cam?" Nick asked sleepily. "What is it?" I responded. "What are you doing over there?" "I couldn't sleep, so I decided to sit here for a while. You should try to go back to sleep. You need to rest," I said, concerned for his well-being. "Come over here with me," he suggested. "I'm not really tired, Nick. I just need some time to think." He sat up, which indicated to me that he was ready to talk. Apparently, this wasn't going to wait until morning. I did want to talk to him about the current situation, but I wasn't sure that I was ready for it in the middle of the night. However, I didn't want to make things worse either, so if he was ready, I would have to be as well. "I don't know what I would do if I lost you, Cam. You're the best thing that has happened to me, and it would kill me if you were ripped away from me," Nick started, looking directly at me. I sighed. I couldn't understand why Nick was so unsure of himself. He always seemed to be overflowing with self-confidence, and the fact that he didn't think he was worthy of a relationship with me was puzzling. "Nick, do you think that you are so unlovable that anyone involved with you would dump you and date someone else at a moments notice if the opportunity presented itself?" He didn't really have an answer for that, so I continued. "I know that this might come as quite a shock to you, but you are a wonderful human being, and anyone would be very lucky to be in a relationship with you, let alone in love with you. It is very difficult for me to tell someone that I love them, and yet it flows off the tongue easily when I am saying it to you. "You are a very special person, and I have absolutely no intention of leaving you. In fact, it really hurts that you have so little faith in me, or in yourself. I know that we have only been together a few days, but I thought you knew me better than that," I was visibly upset by this point, and I had to stop talking or risk losing control of my emotions. Nick remained silent for a moment or two, just looking down at the comforter at the foot of the bed. He then stood up, and walked over to the window to look out. He didn't turn toward me, but he began to speak. "I really wish I knew what it was like to live a normal life, where I could learn to act like people expect me to. My teenage years were spent away from home, often away from family, and away from friends. It's very difficult to develop a lot of self-confidence when the only time you hear anything from management, or vocal instructors, or choreographers is when you screw up. "I know that I have millions of teenage girls, and boys, idolizing me, but what are they really idolizing? It is an image of me that has been constructed to make our record company as much money as possible. The fact is, that I am not even sure who I am, because it has been so long since I was allowed to figure that out for myself. "I am not telling you this to try to make you feel sorry for me. I am sure that many wouldn't feel sorry for me at all, and maybe they shouldn't, because I have experienced things that most people could only dream about. However, I have a lot to learn, Cameron, and I can't help that." It wasn't exactly an apology, but a lot of it made sense to me. I considered standing up to meet him, but he wasn't quite through yet. "It tears me up inside to think that I have hurt you, and I am so sorry for that. I will try to make it up to you if you will allow me to do so. I just have to ask you if you are willing to help me learn some of the things that I obviously need help figuring out." That was my cue. I went over to Nick, and pulled him into a hug. I was still on the verge of tears, but I wasn't going to succumb to them unless he did. I needed to be the strong one. Nick held me tightly, and it felt very good to have him in my arms, needing me to be there for him. "Nick, I can think of nothing I want more than to be here with you, and for you. I love you, no matter what. I could never leave you for Brian. I already have the perfect guy right here in my arms." "Do you really mean that?" Nick asked, still needing reassurance. "I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it. Brian is a nice person, but he isn't you. I can't help the way he feels, but I know how I feel. Try not to hate Brian for expressing himself. He didn't mean to cause any trouble, and I am sure he is already suffering mightily for what he has said." "I know, but it is really weird to know that he lusts after you," Nick said with a disgusted look on his face. We finally the hug, and I stood back to look at him. "I don't really think he lusts after me, Nick," "But, he said..." "I know what he said, but he is very confused right now. I have my theories about Bri, but let's not worry about that right now. Let's just try to get some sleep." "I think that is a very good idea," Nick said, walking toward the bed. We both got into bed, and I decided to keep my distance from him, like he had done to me. "What's wrong now?" Nick asked. "I just think it best if we sleep separately to think about what we have said," I answered, trying to sound serious. Nick started to pout slightly when I smiled widely. "Come here, you big lug," I said, opening my arms to him. Nick graciously accepted the invitation, and soon I could feel his warmth as his torso met mine. Still half on top of me, he put his head down to the right of mine, his hair tickling my cheek. "You know, you're not a half bad boyfriend," Nick stated. "I know. I am pretty special," I said, laughing. "No argument here," Nick said. I kissed the back of his head, and then put my left hand up on his back, finding a comfortable position. I could tell a moment later that Nick was asleep, and this time, I wasn't far behind. Nick was still on me when I woke up, and I certainly wasn't about to complain. I began to rub his back, which did the trick as he began to regain consciousness. "I could get used to this," Nick said. "That makes two of us," I responded as Nick rolled over to his side of the bed. "What time is it?" he asked. "About 10 AM. We could go back to sleep you know. I have nothing better to do," I suggested. "We should probably get up and go downstairs. I am sure Brian is up by now, so we may as well get this over with." "Okay, as long as you are ready." "Yeah. Let's go," Nick said, standing up. Apparently, he wasn't going to get dressed before going down, so we both went down in just our boxer-briefs. I followed Nick, mostly for the view, but partly because I wanted to see how Brian reacted to seeing Nick. We got to the bottom of the stairs, and I saw Brian over on the couch, wearing a t-shirt and boxers. I guess today was going to be casual day here at the condo. Brian looked up at us, as Nick went to the kitchen to get a drink. I followed suit, and then we walked over to the living room, sitting on the other couch, so we could face Brian. "Good morning, Brian," I said, breaking the ice. "Morning, guys," was his only response. We sat there, in awkward silence for a while, no one wanting to draw first blood. I looked over at Nick, and I could tell that last night's conversation was on his mind, as he looked angry once again. I made my choice, and I was about to intervene to end this. Although I certainly wasn't qualified to be a psychiatrist, many of my friends claimed that I should be, as they all seemed to come to me with their problems. I had dealt with worse, so I was ready to get this over with. "So, guys..." "Brian, how could you do this to me? You know how much I care about Cameron, and then you have the nerve to tell him that you are attracted to him!" Nick said, interrupting me. "Nick, I was only talking to Cameron because I thought he could help me out. I hadn't planned on telling him that, but I just started talking, and I couldn't help it," Brian said, starting his defense. "I don't care if you talk to Cam, and I am glad that you are comfortable around him, but how could you lust after him? I thought I was your friend. What next, Bri? You going to try to take him away from me?" Nick said, his volume increasing as he went on. "Nick, I am sorry that it came out that way, but it wasn't my intention. I just wanted to tell Cameron the truth...the whole truth. Cameron told me last night that he didn't even think that I was attracted to him, and he may be right. I think I found the idea of finally telling someone my secret very appealing, and Cameron just happened to be the recipient of that information. Cameron is a very attractive guy, and it is hard not to be drawn in by him," Brian said, looking at me. "I won't argue that point," Nick conceded, causing me to blush. "Guys, I don't really want to be in the middle of this, but here is my two cents worth. Brian admitted to me last night that he is attracted to men; not just men, but both men and women. I think that in making that revelation, he allowed himself to feel things that he previously would not allow to the surface. He suddenly needed someone to be attracted to, and I just happened to be the one. I don't think he is really attracted to me, but just with the idea of being open about his feelings." Brian nodded his head in agreement, and Nick took a minute to process what I had said. Nick didn't say anything, but I could tell that he was starting to see the other side of the story. "You guys have been friends too long to let me come between you, so I am going to let you guys talk this through without me around to distract you. I am going back to my condo for now. I am going to get my clothes, and then I will be back down," I said as I stood up, heading up the stairs. I found my clothes, and put them on once I was upstairs. After I finished, I started down the stairs, and as I looked down, I saw that they were talking to each other, not yelling. 'That has to be a good sign,' I thought as I went back down. Nick stood up as I approached, and I kissed him on the cheek. "Call me later, when you get things figured out," I told him. "Count on it. I hope this won't take too long, and I will see you in a while," Nick responded. "See you later, B," I said, waving at him. He returned the gesture, and I left the condo. As I walked back to my condo, I felt confident that they would work things out without too much trouble. I had considered staying there, but I knew that they would feel like they could talk more openly if I wasn't there to listen. I entered my condo a few minutes later, and it felt very empty to me. It had been the first time in a few days that I had been alone for any length of time, so I decided to make a few phone calls to let my friends and family know how my vacation was going. The first phone call I made was home, and since there wasn't an answer, I tried her cell phone. "Hello?" a familiar voice answered. "Hey, mom. What's going on?" I asked. "Cameron! I am so glad to hear your voice. I have been expecting a call for the past three days, you know," she said, pouring on the guilt, which was one of her specialties. "I know, I know. I've just been busy doing things here. I've met some great people here to hang out with, and we've been keeping ourselves occupied." "That's great, Cam. Anyone special?" she asked, trying to get information out of me. "As a matter of fact, yes." "So, what's he like?" she asked, reading my mind. "He's wonderful, mom. I think this may be serious," I responded. "Well, I can't wait to hear more about him, honey, but I am on the way to an appointment with a big client, and I am almost there, so I need to go for now. Call me as soon as you can," she pleaded. "I will do that. I love you, mother. Good luck on your appointment." "Thanks, dear. Talk to you soon. Love you too," she said before I heard her hang up. I had hoped to talk to her longer, but she always seemed to be on the move, so I wasn't too disappointed. I was still bored, so I decided to call my apartment, to see if my roommates were home. Both of them had been my friends since junior high, and they were the first ones I told about being gay. "Hello?" "Brett, it's Cam. What's happening?" "Hey Camo! How's Colorado?" "It's fantastic. The scenery is breathtaking, and I've had a blast so far," I didn't elaborate on 'scenery,' which happened to include Nick. "Good to hear. So, you calling because you are lonely, or what?" "Well, not exactly. Actually, I have some news for you. I've met someone..." "You're kidding? That's awesome. What's his name?" "His name is Nick," I answered, wondering if he would make the connection. He knew that I had a thing for Nick, although we never discussed it much. "Whoa, that's weird. After lusting after Nick Carter all this time, you end up finding a Nick. How interesting." "Yes, very interesting," I said, trying not to laugh. "So, what's this guy like?" "Well, he is blonde, over six foot tall, and a great singer." "Wow, that sounds a lot like the other Nick, Cam," "Amazing, isn't it?" "Next thing you're going to tell me is that you actually met Nick Carter, right?" Brett asked, not realizing how accurate he was. The line remained silent for a moment, and then I heard Brett gasp. "You, Nick? You're kidding, right?" "It's no joke, amigo. Nick and Brian Littrell are on vacation here at the resort. I ran into Nick on the gondola ride. Turns out, he likes me too, if you can believe that." "That's unbelievable! I am so happy for you, man. Wait until I tell Adam about this!" "Wait, Brett! Don't tell Adam yet. I want to tell him myself. In fact, I want you guys to meet him." "Okay, but how are we going to manage that?" he asked. "Well, I might have a way, but I don't know if it is going to work yet. Nick told me the other day that they were going to Chicago for some meetings in a couple weeks, and since that is only four hours away, we should be able to figure something out." "That would be great. Just let me know what you have planned. I will keep this to myself for now." "I appreciate it, Brett. Well, I should go for now, as Nick could be calling any time. I will see you in a little more than a week." "Good. We miss you around here. Congratulations again, Cam! I can't wait to meet him," Brett said, genuinely happy for me. "Thanks, man. I'll talk to you soon!" "Sounds good, Cam. Bye!" I had told two of the people closest to me about Nick, and both of them were very happy about it. I only hoped that the conversation going on in Nick and Brian's condo was as positive. I knew deep down that they would work things out fine, but I didn't know how long it would take for that to occur. I didn't want to leave Colorado with both of them still upset. I put the cordless on the hook, and then went into my room, seeing the book that I had been reading earlier. I had several chapters yet to read, so I picked it up, taking it over to the bed. It seemed like a good way to kill some time before I got a Nick-Brian update. I sat down, and got engrossed in the book, and I finished it a couple hours later. I hadn't noticed how much time had passed until I looked at my watch to see how long it had really been. I immediately got concerned when Nick hadn't called me after this much time. I got up and walked around the condo, contemplating whether to call over there or not. I have never been accused of having a lot of patience, but I didn't want to interrupt. On the other hand, I knew that I couldn't stand to wait much longer to hear from them. After what seemed like an eternity, the phone rang. "Nick, is that you?" I asked anxiously. "Yeah, it's me." "So, how did things go?" "Pretty well, Cam. I think we have come to an understanding. I can't be mad at the guy. I love him too much for that," Nick answered. "Well, I am glad to hear that. Do you want me to come over, or do you just want some time alone?" "Actually, I think I need a change of venue, so do you mind if I come over there?" "You know I don't mind. Come on over anytime. I am dying of boredom over here," I said, laughing. "Oh, poor baby. I'd better get over there quick to help you out," Nick offered. "Sounds good to me. Tell Brian hi, and then get over here," "Yes, sir!" Nick joked. "At least you know your place," I said. "Uh-huh. I'll be there soon," Nick said. "Looking forward to it." "Okay...I love you, Cam." "Love you too, stud," I countered. I hung up the phone, and sighed. I was relieved to hear that they were both still alive and well. I would have to talk to Brian later to make sure he was doing okay, but I just wanted to see Nick. I laughed at myself as I realized how hooked I was on Nick. We had been apart for only a few hours, and already I needed to see him. I sat down on a stool by the kitchen counter, awaiting his arrival, hoping that he was as anxious to see me. I was ready to show him just how anxious I was to see him, and although I worried that I would end up taking things too far, I knew in the back of my mind that I would never regret doing anything with the man I love. Well, that's all for Chapter X...hope it wasn't too boring. E-mail would be greatly appreciated! (glenwoodbronco@hotmail.com) Thanks for reading!