Millennium Love Scott Chapter 34

Chapter 34

I called the airline first thing in the morning and discovered I could switch to an earlier flight, if I got to the airport immediately. I was out of the hotel twenty minutes later. I decided I would surprise Brian so I didn't call him. The plane took off on time and a few hours later, I was in Salt Lake. Instead of calling the hotel for a ride, I took a cab from the airport. I walked in the front entrance of the hotel and looked around for the elevators.

"Well, if it isn't the man," a voice said behind me.

I turned and immediately recognized Ray. The man irritated the hell out of me, but I smiled - sort of - and greeted him. "Hello Ray," I said politely.

"What are you doing here?" he asked me bluntly. Since when was it his business?

I stared at him. "Excuse me?"

"Brian is out sightseeing with Nick and Kevin," he said. "Although..." he paused. "I guess it's a good thing you aren't with them. Brian is just too obvious when it comes to you," he said with a smirk.

I was a little surprised he was being so blatant, but I didn't want to get into a confrontation with him. Oh, what the hell! I smiled. "You know Ray, jealousy really doesn't suit you."

He glared at me. "How long do you think Brian will like being with a computer nerd? He could get anyone...someone in the business who understands the stress and pressures. You really have no idea. I know your type Scott. You won't be able to handle the secrecy very long and Brian will NEVER come out. He'll get tired of your whining and move on. Why do you think he went out today?" he asked harshly. I had enough of his bitterness and turned away. "Cause you weren't here," he called after me.

I ignored it and stepped onto the elevator. God I wish I could get rid of Ray; have him fired or something. All he did was try to create problems. I sighed and leaned against the side of the elevator. It stopped at the floor the guys were on and I stepped out. Pete immediately stepped in front of me, until he recognized me.

"Hey Scott, what are you doing here so early?" he asked in surprise.

"Hi Pete. I managed to catch an earlier flight. I wanted to surprise Brian but I guess he's out?" I said.

Pete nodded. "Yeah. He, Kev and Nick went out with Marcus."

I was disappointed, but it was my own fault for not calling. "Oh well," I said with a smile. "I guess I'll have to wait to surprise him. Which room is his?" I asked as we started to walk down the hall.

Pete pulled out a bunch of keys, looked through them then selected one. "Here it is. He's in 1045." We reached the room and Pete unlocked the door. "I'm not sure when they'll be back but Brian still thinks he has to get you at the airport so they should be back in a couple of hours," he said.

I shook his hand. "Thanks Pete." I turned to go into the room, then turned back. "Oh. You won't tell him I'm here, will you?" I asked.

He grinned. "Tell who, what?" he said as he left.

I closed the door and looked around the room. Brian's suitcase lay on the chair, still packed. I put my luggage beside the chair then sat on the bed wondering what to do.

Ray's words came back to me, 'he went out today...cause you weren't here.' Ray didn't know anything about my relationship with Brian, but his words hit close to home. Brian was still resistant to going out with me, yet he freely went out with Nick and Kev. I stood up and mentally shook myself. I wasn't being fair to Brian thinking like that. He had enough to worry about without my adding to it.

I decided to take a shower to wash off the remnants of the long flight. The hot water relaxed me. I dried off and pulled on some boxers. Not having anything to do (not wanting to do work!) I lay on the bed and dozed. I must have drifted to sleep because the next thing I knew, I heard the room door open.

I could sense that it was Brian. I lay still and pretended to be asleep. He stood in the doorway for a few minutes then quietly closed the door, stripped off his clothes and walked over to the bed. He lay down on the bed next to me and watched me for a moment.

I couldn't remain silent any longer. "Are you going to stare at me all day?" I said suddenly, making him jump.

Brian glared at me, as I began to laugh. It was so good to see him again. He gently slapped my bare stomach. "You know I do have a heart condition," he said with a cute pout.

I laughed and pulled him over on top of me. "Miss me?" I asked softly.

Brian smiled and leaned down to kiss me. "Always, Angel," he murmured, sending shivers through me.

We kissed lightly for a few minutes before I pulled back. "So where were you? I noticed your clothes were all dusty?" I commented.

"Kevin and Nick dragged me out on a tour. We saw the lake and some salt deposits," Brian replied, nibbling on my ear. "How did you get back so early?" he asked.

His lips were driving me crazy, making it hard to concentrate. I moaned softly. "I was...um...able to uh..." I stumbled over my words, distracted by what his hands were doing as they worked down my body. I gasped as his hand crept under the elastic waist of my boxers. "I managed to switch to an earlier flight!" I gasped out in one breath before I couldn't think anymore. "Oh God Love!" I breathed as his hand wrapped around my hardness.

Suddenly I was overwhelmed by my desire for this man and a need to prove that Ray was wrong. I rolled over so I was on top of Brian. I began kissing Brian with ferocious passion, thrusting my hips against him.

"I want you now!" I growled hotly against his cheek. Brian pushed his groin up against me in response.

"Scott? Angel?" Brian whispered some time later as his fingers trailed down the damp flesh of my back.

"Hmm?" I murmured. I was exhausted. It was like I had been possessed during our lovemaking. I had never been so intense before.

"What was that all about?" he asked softly.

I was lying on my stomach, facing away from Brian. I frowned. What was it all about? I had actually ripped his boxers from him. I had left a few tiny bite marks on his flesh during the heat of passion. I wondered if I'd hurt him. I turned my head to look at him. "Are you okay?" I asked softly.

To my relief, Brian smiled. "Of course Angel."

I sighed deeply. I knew I needed to try to explain, without mentioning Ray. There was no point in dragging him into things, because the issue went beyond him. "Its just...I don't really know...its everything and its nothing." I sighed in exasperation. I rolled over onto my back and Brian put his arm across my chest. "For some reason I thought things would be easier back here," I said softly. "Nothing personal, but you guys have never been as big here, not like in Europe and Asia." Brian laughed softly and rubbed my chest.

"But now...with Millennium, you guys are huge and the scrutiny is intense." I rolled onto my side to look at him. "So many people want a piece of you and I'm still having trouble adjusting to that. Its nothing you have done Brian, it's just the whole atmosphere." Another deep sigh. "Does any of that make sense?" I asked softly. I wasn't sure it even made sense to me.

Brian was quiet for a minute as he thought about what I'd said.

"Did something happen when you saw Nora?" he finally asked softly.

I shook my head. "No. We had a really nice visit and she loved the video you guys sent. She was supposed to be released today or tomorrow so she promised to get back on-line as soon as she could." I was actually relieved about the change of subject.

Brian snuggled closer to me as we both thought about what Nora had been through. "How is she really doing?" he asked quietly.

I hugged him tightly. "She's a fighter Bri. She's talking to a therapist and is determined not to run and hide. I think she'll be okay. Although she misses us...well, she really misses Nicky. Remind me to mention that to him. Maybe he could visit her on the next break," I suggested.

We lay quietly together for a few minutes until Kevin knocked at the door, reminding Brian he had to pick me up at the airport. We pulled on boxers and t-shirts then let Kevin in, laughing at his surprised reaction. The others came to our room upon hearing that I was back. They wanted to know how Nora was and what she thought of the video. We spent the next hour talking, as the earlier subject was thankfully left behind.

Two weeks later, Ray's words came back to haunt me. Brian had once again stopped going out except to group functions. The tour had wound its way to Los Angeles. The first day there, every wanted to go to the beach, except Brian.

He always had valid reasons for staying at the hotel or doing something else, but all I wanted was a couple of hours at the beach. It was almost the beginning of August and it was hot. We had all been sitting in the lounge when we decided to go out. When Brian made up an excuse, I didn't even try to change his mind. Why bother? I love him, and he loves me, but he doesn't want to go out in public with me. I would just have to learn to live with it.

The rest of us got ready, and with security in tow, we headed outside to walk the couple of blocks to the beach. We hadn't walked very far, when I realized just how hot it was. I knew with my fair skin, I would burn in a few minutes at the beach.

"Hey Nicky!" I said as I stopped walking. Nick stopped and walked back to me. "I just realized that I'll get fried out there today," I said. "I think I'll go back to the hotel. Maybe take a quick swim in the pool then stay indoors till later when it cools down."

Nick was watching me closely. "You sure Scott?" he asked. "Maybe you could catch up with Brian," he suggested.

I shrugged. "Maybe. You go have fun with the others okay? I'll see you back at the hotel." Nick reluctantly agreed and ran to catch up with the others.

I slowly walked back to the hotel. I thought maybe I would try to track Brian down. Since he wouldn't go out with me, maybe I could go with him. I knew he had been going to work on some songs. Back on the floor, I went to our room, but he wasn't there, neither was Marcus. I went down to the next floor and found one of the tour assistants. She said Brian had gone to the fitness center.

I made my way down to the gym. After a brief search, I saw Brian through the tinted glass. He and a few of the dancers were in the weight room stretching next to a wall. They were laughing and talking. A few seconds later I watched Ray walk in and over to the group. Brian moved over, making room for him. I watched for a few minutes as they continued to talk and make jokes. Brian looked at ease with them, with Ray.

I turned away. 'Damn it Scott, stop it!' I told myself. 'You know Brian loves you!' And I did. But I hated seeing him near that man because I knew Ray's motives. I could go in and join them but decided against it.

Instead, I went to the hotel's bar, got myself a coke and sat at a small table overlooking the pool. I pulled out my cell phone and hit one of my speed dial numbers.

"Hello?"

"Hi Drew! Its Scott." I said after Drew answered.

"Scott! How are you? Hang on a sec, okay?" I heard him mumble something to someone, then he was back. "Okay, just had to get rid of someone. So how are you? And the guys?" he asked.

He sounded really happy to hear from me and I was grateful. "Everything is okay. I'm sure you know how AJ is, probably better than I do!" I said with a grin.

Drew laughed. "That's true. My boy is doing just fine, but I miss him," he said. I could hear the longing in his voice.

"He misses you too, Drew," I said sincerely.

"I know. So how are you and Brian?" he asked. I could hear concern in his voice.

I sighed. "What has AJ told you?"

"Not much Scott. I can hear it in your voice though. Things aren't great?"

How to answer that? "Its hard Drew. I love him and I know he loves me..." I said.

"But?"

I knew he would ask that. "But...there is so much pressure, so much attention. It's hard. He is so paranoid about going out. Basically we just don't. The one time, about three weeks ago, he completely ignored me. It was worse than him not being there at all." I sighed again. "He apologized for it. I know he's not purposely trying to hurt me but...I'm getting frustrated, I guess."

Drew was quiet for a minute. "Maybe you need to take a break from the tour Scott," he suggested quietly. "When was the last time you were home, for work? What if you come home, visit your clients in person, and get a fresh perspective on things?"

It was my turn to be silent. That really sounded like a good idea. I would miss Brian, and I knew he wouldn't be happy with me leaving for a week or two. But I thought I really needed it.

"We can get together, visit some of our old haunts. It'll be fun," Drew added.

I smiled. It would be nice to see everyone again. "Okay Drew, you don't have to convince me," I said. "I like the idea. I'll arrange a flight in the next day or so and let you know, okay?"

"Great!" he said enthusiastically. "Now I don't suppose you could sneak that lanky, tattooed guy into your suitcase eh?"

I laughed. "Sorry Drew. Don't think that would go over well." I finished my coke. "I'm going to go now Drew. Thanks for talking to me. I'll email you later with my flight plans okay?"

"Sounds good Scott. Take care," Drew said. "And give AJ a hug for me, will ya?"

I grinned. "Will do. See ya!" I closed the phone.

The more I thought about it, the more I liked the idea. A change of scenery may be exactly what I needed. I left the bar and went back to the room. I grabbed my laptop and went out to the balcony. A check for flights showed me an available flight the next afternoon. I booked a seat, then emailed my companies, asking for face to face meetings. I decided to let them pick the days and times to meet. I emailed Drew with the details as well. A quick check of the Backstreet tour schedule showed that the guys would be in Detroit in two weeks. That was perfect. All I had to do then was tell Brian about my plans.

I had just logged off the computer when I heard the room door opening. I closed my laptop and walked back into the room, just as Brian entered.

He looked over at me and smiled. "Hi there. Marcus said you were back," he said. He walked over to his suitcase and pulled out some clean clothes. "I would give you a kiss but I'm totally sweaty," he added with a grin.

I smiled and sat down on the bed. "Once you've showered, can we sit down and talk for a few minutes?" I asked him.

He paused and looked at me intently. "Of course Angel. Is something wrong?" I could hear the fear and concern in his voice. He walked over to stand in front of me.

I wrapped my arms around his waist, not caring about the sweat. "Nothing's wrong Love. But I'm going to take a little trip." I squeezed him tightly then gave him a little push back. "Don't worry about it. Go shower, you stink!" I added with a laugh.

I saw him visibly relax and he continued on to the bathroom.

While he was showering, I decided I might as well pack. I left out some clothes to wear the next day, but packed everything else into my suitcases. I had to decide how much I was going to tell Brian about the reason for my trip. Would telling him I was feeling lost, or frustrated really help the situation? It wasn't his problem and would only worry him. I decided that visiting clients and family was enough reason for the trip. It would give me time to clear my head and return to the tour with a fresh outlook.

I wandered back out to the balcony and looked out over the ocean while I waited for Brian. A few minutes later I heard the bathroom door open.

I turned to see Brian walking across the room, a towel around his waist, and another towel in his hands drying his hair. I leaned against the door frame and admired him. It was at times like this that I wondered how I got so lucky. I remembered back to the first time we met. What were the odds that I would be driving by the Eaton Centre at the exact time Brian was fleeing screaming fans? I've never really believed in fate or destiny, but I couldn't completely dispute them either.

Brian saw me watching him and smiled at me. That sexy, secret smile that he saved just for me. He walked over to the suitcases and pulled out some clean boxers. He slipped them on and discarded the towel. I walked into the room, closing the balcony door behind me. Sitting down on the bed, I patted the spot beside me and he sat. We both leaned against the headboard. Brian reached over and picked up my hand.

"So you were talking about a trip Angel?" he asked curiously.

I glanced at him and squeezed his hand. "Yeah. I've been avoiding it for a while, but I really need to go home and visit with my client companies in person," I explained. "I thought I could do that and catch up with Drew and some other friends at the same time."

I waited for his response. He was quiet for a minute. "I guess that makes sense," he said slowly. "We have been hogging you for a while haven't we?" He turned to look at me. "When were you thinking of going and for how long?" he asked.

I knew he wouldn't like my answer. "Actually, I booked a flight out tomorrow afternoon, Bri. I thought I would go for two weeks. You guys will be in Detroit and I can meet up with you there," I said quickly.

He was quiet again. "That soon huh? And for that long?" He inhaled deeply and released the breath. "I'm going to miss you Angel. I understand that you have to keep your clients happy. You're lucky your job is so flexible." He sighed. "But that doesn't mean I'm going to be happy being away from you for so long." He turned to me and touched my cheek. "You know I'm going to miss you like crazy, Scott. I've got used to having you around," he added with a grin.

I leaned towards him and kissed him softly. "I'll miss you too Love," I said softly. "It will be strange not having you next to me while I sleep. But, it's only for a couple of weeks. And I promise to email you and call you as long as you promise me the same."

Brian smiled. "I promise."

He leaned forward to kiss me again. "You know," he said, kissing along my jaw and up to my ear. "If...*kiss*...you... *kiss*...are...* kiss*...going to...*kiss*...be gone...*kiss*...for so...*kiss*...long," he paused to suckle on my ear and I couldn't hold back a moan. "I need to..." he began to kiss down my neck as his hands roamed up under my shirt. "Stock up on some loving," he finished. His lips and hands made it impossible for me to respond.

We were lying entwined on the bed a few hours later when we heard the loud voices in the hall. My fingers were softly running up and down Brian's arm and shoulder while he planted butterfly kisses on my throat and neck.

"I guess they're back from the beach," I said softly.

"Mmm," Brian murmured, making me smiled.

"Maybe we should go have dinner with them, so I can tell them about my plans," I suggested quietly. I could feel Brian instantly tense. He had either forgotten I was leaving or push it out of his mind.

He sighed and rolled over onto his back. "I was hoping you would forget about your plans," he said with a rueful smile.

I kissed his soft lips. "Sorry Love. It won't be that bad. You will be busy with the concerts and rehearsals. Maybe you can get out more with the guys too," I added.

He frowned. "Maybe." He looked at me intently. "That's not why you're leaving, is it?" he asked.

Damn! I'd hoped to avoid this. "Not really," I replied evasively.

Brian sat up on the bed. "What do you mean, not really?"

I sighed and sat up to face him. "Brian, I really do need to go home and meet with my clients. That's the truth. But we both know that we don't go out at the same time. While I'm gone, you can spend some more time with the guys, like what you did today with Nick and Kevin," I said gently.

Brian looked like he might cry and I hated that I caused that. I pulled him to me in a tight hug. "Brian, I love you! Never forget that. I'm going to go home for two weeks, then I'll be back," I vowed.

Brian nodded against my shoulder. "Okay Angel. And when you come back, we need to sit down and have a serious conversation about all of this, okay?"

"Agreed," I said and kissed his cheek. I pulled away and climbed off the bed, turning to look at him. "Come on, Love. Lets track down those friends of ours and see what they want to do for dinner," I suggested, holding out my hand to him.

Brian smiled and took my hand. We pulled on our clothes and walked out into the hallway. Listening, we could hear sounds coming from the room across and down the hall. We knocked on the door and pushed it open when we heard a muffled call from inside.

It was AJ's room, but I didn't see AJ around. Then I heard the shower and figured that's where he was. Nick and Kevin were playing a video game, with Howie cheering Kevin on, knowing that realistically Kevin didn't have a hope of beating Nick.

"Hi guys!" Nick greeted us, looking up from the game.

I grinned and led Brian over to the bed where we sat down. "Have a good time at the beach?" I asked.

Howie shrugged. "Well, it was hot and the water was wet! A lot of fans too," he said with a grimace. I was glad I decided not to go.

"What are you guys doing for dinner?" Brian asked.

"Haven't decided yet," Kevin replied, never taking his eyes from the TV screen. "We're just waiting for AJ."

Just as Kevin finished speaking, AJ walked out of the bathroom. "I'm here! Let the party begin!" he announced, making me laugh. Remembering my promise to Drew I walked over and pulled AJ into a hug, actually stunning him into silence.

I pulled back and looked into his surprised face. "That was for you from Drew," I explained.

AJ grinned. "Ah, talking to my guy today were you? How is he?" he asked as he walked over to the dresser to change his earrings.

I laughed. "You know, someone might think you two don't talk to each other. He's good. He actually wanted me to smuggled you in my suitcase but I said that wouldn't be a popular plan," I added.

The silence in the room made me realize what I had said. I looked around at the guys to find them staring at me.

"You going somewhere?" Nick asked, setting the game controller down as he looked at me.

"Um yeah. I was telling Brian earlier. I'm going to go back to Toronto for a couple of weeks. I need to visit with my clients in person and I'd like to visit with my friends too. I thought I'd catch up with you guys in Detroit," I added and waited for their response.

AJ looked over to Kevin. "When's that?" he asked. I realized that they really didn't know much of their schedule, well, except Kevin.

"Two weeks," Kevin told the others.

"So when are you leaving?" AJ asked me.

"I'm flying out tomorrow afternoon. I was hoping we could all have dinner together tonight...that is if none of you have plans?"

The others agreed. We discussed what we would do and Kevin finally called down to the hotel lobby and found they had a small private room we could use. It would be a nice change from eating in the rooms, yet not as open as eating in public. Everyone went back to their rooms and changed. Brian was quiet as we dressed but I didn't interrupt his thoughts. I guess secretly I hoped my leaving for a couple of weeks would make him really think about what had been going on. I didn't know what conclusion he would reach, but hopefully things would be better when I returned.

The six of us had a great time at dinner. I heard more from Kevin about how he and Sheri were doing. She had taken on an internship in New York as part of her course, which is why she hadn't been able to fly out to visit on the tour. But she did have some time off near the end of the month and hoped she and Kevin could get together. I was happy things were going so well for them. They both were handling the long distance situation admirably. We ate and talked late into the evening.

Eventually we returned to our rooms. Brian was still quiet, but attentive. We made gentle love into the early hours of the morning, before drifting to sleep. I joined the singers at their rehearsal the next day. It was in the early afternoon, leaving enough time for Brian to go with me to the airport in the limo. He told me how much he would miss me, and I knew it was true. I would miss him just as much. I promised to call him when I got into Toronto, although they would probably be in the middle of their concert. As I stepped out of the limo, Brian looked sad and lonely, but I couldn't let myself give in. I needed to get away, for work and for our relationship.

I'd been back in Toronto for two weeks now. I had met with my clients about their web sites and some modifications they wanted. I'd also had a chance to spend some time with Drew and my friend Michael as well as some other university friends. It had been a really nice break for me. The Backstreet Millennium tour had worked its way back east and was finally in Detroit.

I was in my car, driving down the 401 to Michigan when I picked up my cell phone and hit the speed dial.

"Hello?" God I love that voice.

"Hi Love," I said.

"Angel? God I miss you Scott," Brian said softly. I knew the feeling.

"Miss you too. I have a surprise for you," I told him.

"Really?" he asked. I could hear the excitement in his voice.

"Yeah. I'm going to drive to Detroit early tomorrow. So I'll see you in the morning." I was actually going to get there in a couple of hours, but I didn't want him to know.

"You mean it Angel? I didn't think you were coming until Sunday! I love you so much, you're amazing," he said.

"I love you too Bri. Now it's late, so get some sleep so you're not falling asleep on me tomorrow, okay?"

"Hey, you never complained about me sleeping on you before!" Brian protested, making me laugh.

"Well, there are other things I'd rather do," I said, trying to sound sexy.

Brian laughed. "Okay, I get the point. I can't wait to see you Angel, love you."

"Love you too, Bri. See you tomorrow." I shut off the phone and set it on the passenger seat beside me.

I was about an hour from the border, and my excitement was growing.

I thought about everything that had been happening. Things hadn't been going perfectly for us. The European tour had been very stressful, especially after that Paris press conference and the ensuing 'rag' magazine article implying things about the guys. Then we were all back in North America, where I had hoped Brian would relax a little. But MTV had to show the damn Paris conference and sent things crashing. We really needed to talk about everything, resolve all the little things that had been left unsaid.

Yet despite the problems, I was sure of our love, right up till the moment I stepped off the elevator in the hotel and saw Brian kissing another man.

My world collapsed. I doubt I would have noticed if a fire broke out right beside me. I couldn't breathe. I had to get away, get out of the hotel, away from ...my love...I choked on those words. I gasped aloud and stepped back on the elevator, oblivious of the voice calling my name. My thoughts were incoherent and the tears streamed down my face. How could he have betrayed me like that? After all that we had been through? Just a short time ago he'd said he loved me over the phone. Was his new lover with him then? Maybe he's been with him all along. I choked back a sob and ran out of the elevator when the door slid open. I didn't see anything; nothing registered in my mind except escaping the pain that threatened to explode out of my chest. How could I have been such a fool? I couldn't listen to my little voice trying to tell me to be rational, to stop and think things through. For once, I allowed my emotions to control me. Somehow, I found myself back in my car. I started it up not even knowing where I was going. I simply drove.

Tears and sobs wracked my body as the car moved forward. I had given my heart and soul; nothing mattered now. I found myself heading out of the city. I wasn't even thinking when I darted around the lowered gate; all I knew was that if I stopped I would die. As it was, I almost died anyway when the freight trained smashed into the passenger side of my car and dragged me along, unconscious for half a mile.

To be continued....don't ya just hate me now?

Please email me and let me know if you want to read Brian's version....I'll post it soon!

Kenitra:-) kenitra_canada@hotmail.com