Other Stories by Me!

(All under boy-bands)

Blissful Tears

First Anniversary

Fates Reason

Ice Storm

Set You Free

Ten Guys, One Night

Due to some issues that have come up in real life, there might be some delay in getting the next chapter out.  Hopefully this won't take too long.

Thanks must go out to Neo, Chris, Rune and Justin for talking with me!!

And if you haven't already done so...go read my other story Blissful Tears! Its about Brian and AJ...and in my *unbiased* opinion, its a good story! :D


Disclaimer: Well, I'd hope by now everyone knows it, but just in case:
1. If you shouldn't be here, don't tell me and don't get caught!
2. I don't know any of the people mentioned in the story...it's fiction folks!

If you have any comments about this story as always, please email me at kenitra_canada@hotmail.com I try to respond to every single email I get!

Thank you for reading!


Where we left off.....

Tears and sobs wracked my body as the car moved forward. I had given my heart and soul; nothing mattered now. I found myself heading out of the city. I wasn't even thinking when I darted around the lowered gate; all I knew was that if I stopped I would die. As it was, I almost died anyway when the freight trained smashed into the passenger side of my car and dragged me along, unconscious for half a mile.

Chapter 35

I woke up, unable to move. My body refused to listen to my brain. I didn't know where I was or what had happened. I opened my eyes to the harsh glare of a fluorescent overhead light. Sensing someone else in the room, I tried to talk, but only a moan came out.

"Scotty?" A voice asked. It was my brother Charlie. He smiled at me. "Don't try to move, Scotty. I'll go get the doctors, okay. You're going to be okay." He turned and left the room.

Doctors? Why was I in a hospital? Where was Brian? I tried to move again and finally felt my arm respond. I concentrated on my other arm. It moved too. Charlie came back in with a man in a white coat, and my Mom and Dad. The doctor walked to my side.

"Scott, my name is Doctor Jensen. You're in the hospital. Do you remember what happened?"

I shook my head slightly. I couldn't remember.

"Scott, I'm going to take the tube out of your throat. I need you to exhale when I say. It may sting a little but it will get better, okay." I nodded. When the doctor indicated, I exhaled and he pulled a long tube out of my throat. I coughed, and my throat felt raw.

I looked over at my parents and could tell they had been crying. They looked completely worn out and I felt bad for causing them concern. I looked back at the doctor.

"What happened?" I whispered hoarsely, not recognizing my own voice.

Mom came to the side of the bed and gave me a few sips of ice water. "You were in a car accident, Scott. It was pretty serious," she said and choked up, fighting back tears.

"Scott," it was the doctor again, "you've been in the hospital for two weeks, in a coma."

I stared at him as the words sank in. Two weeks? "Where's Brian?" I asked and heard my Mom gasp. I looked at her sharply. "What's wrong?" A horrible thought went through my mind. "Oh, God, tell me he wasn't in the car with me? Please, tell me." My parents looked at each other.

"No Scott, he wasn't with you. You were alone, and no one else was hurt," my Dad said.

I could sense that he wanted to say more, but the doctor stepped in. "I think Scott needs to get his rest. He's out of the coma, but he has a long road to recovery. Let him sleep through the night and you can visit again in the morning," he told my parents and began to usher them out.

I could see my parents objecting. "I'm okay. Mom, Dad, go home and get some sleep. I'll be fine. Love you." I waited until they were gone and slumped back on the bed. I could feel the cast around my right leg and realized I must have broken it. I did a mental inventory of the rest of my body and found I was intact. I was exhausted and could feel sleep pulling at me, but I fought it. I reached carefully for the phone beside the bed, every muscle in my body protesting.

I dialed Brian's cell number.

"Hello," a quiet voice answered.

It didn't sound like Brian. "Hello, Brian?" I asked.

"Angel, oh god, I'm so sorry. It's all my fault. If you had just waited and if…" I could hear Brian begin to cry in the background and someone took the phone out of his hands.

"Scott, this is Nick."

"Nick, what's wrong with Brian?" I asked, concerned.

"Scott, don't you remember what happened?" Nick sounded perplexed, and now so was I.

"People keep asking me that, but at the moment I've just come out of an apparent two week coma and don't remember how I got here." I was feeling frustrated and scared and wanted Brian to be with me. "Nick, tell me what's going on," I pleaded.

Nick sighed, "I can't Scott. Brian and I will fly up to Toronto tomorrow and if you still want to see us, we'll visit. Okay?"

I guess that would have to do. "Okay, Nick. I'm really confused right now, but tell Brian I love him and miss him, please?"

"I'll do that Scott. Get some sleep and get well. See you tomorrow." Nick hung up the phone.

I finally gave into the pain killers in my I.V. and fell into a fitful sleep.


Screaming, screaming, screaming. I realized that it was me screaming when I sat up in the bed covered in sweat, breathing hard.

A nurse ran in to check on me. I waved her away as I tried to catch my breath. "It was just a nightmare. I'm okay," I told her. She checked my pulse and the intravenous before leaving.

I dropped back onto the bed. I was anything but okay. Everything had come back to me in the dream, no, nightmare. I remembered going to visit Brian, stepping off the elevator and seeing him kissing another man. I remembered driving, and then seeing the train. My heart was breaking and I began to weep. Why had Brian done this to us? I needed to think things through, go over it all in my head but the nurse must have increased the drugs in the I.V. because I began to loose the battle to stay awake.


I fought my way back to consciousness. I pried my eyes open and discovered it was morning. Every part of my body hurt. I just wanted to be myself again, to get up and walk, but I could barely turn my head to see my Mom sitting beside me, watching me intently.

"Good morning, Scott. How are you feeling, dear?" the concern was evident in her voice.

I smiled weakly at her. "I'm going to be fine, Mom. I'm really hungry though." I realized that I was hungry.

She smiled. "That's so good to hear. I'll go to the nurses' station and ask them if you can get breakfast this morning." She bent to kiss my cheek. "I'm so relieved you're awake, Scott." She left the room.

I tried to remember the conversation from the day before when I'd asked about Brian. God just thinking his name hurt. Did my parents know what had happened? What had caused me to be so stupid and almost get killed?

There was a soft knock at the door. Before I could say anything, there were sounds of a scuffle and loud voices. No one came in. A few minutes later Mom came back looking slightly flustered. She brought some juice with her, which I greedily drank.

Once my thirst was quenched, I pushed myself up in the bed as best I could, considering how weak I felt. Mom put pillows behind my back. "Mom, what happened outside the room?" I asked, having a good idea. She didn't answer.

"Mom," I said quietly, making her look at me, "tell me."

"Your Father and Charlie arrived and saw Brian about to walk into your room. They didn't think it was a good idea just yet, that's all."

"Mom, I remember," I told her in a soft whisper.

She looked at me intently. "Everything?"

I nodded and blinked back the tears, remembering the intensity of the pain I'd felt. Thinking I'd never felt so much anguish before.

"I'm sorry Scott. That's why your father and brother stopped him. How could he come here after causing you so much pain and nearly getting you killed." She was very angry. I knew she felt justified, but it didn't help me think things through. I momentarily wished Drew were here. He was always good for talking things out. But he was overseas somewhere on business, and wasn't due back for another week. I decided I needed to be alone.

"Mom." She stopped her pacing. "Could you leave me alone for a little while? I really need some time to think." I hoped she would understand.

Finally, she nodded. "Okay, Scott. We'll be here if you need us." She left, closing the door behind her.

My head was clearer now than it had been the day before. I ran through everything that had happened, in my mind. Despite the hurt I felt I started at the beginning, remembering our first meeting, our passionate, yet gentle lovemaking, the song Brian had written, his family, all the good times we'd had on tour. Then I replayed the problems we'd been having. The damn rumors and that stupid press conference had made Brian paranoid. He stopped going out in public with me at all, regardless of who else was with us and that had hurt. But in private, he was still as loving as always. I sighed in frustration. Things weren't adding up and I was sick of looking at this hospital room.

The doctor interrupted my thoughts. He came in and checked my vital signs then asked me to wiggle my toes. He pronounced me ready to be moved out of intensive care. It would take a little while for me to regain my strength, but I was lucky. I had no brain damage or major injuries aside from the broken leg, which would be completely healed in a few weeks.

He decided to get me moved first. Then he'd see that I got some solid foods. He turned off and disconnected the I.V. A few minutes later a nurse arrived with an orderly, and helped me move onto a gurney. The nurse told me my parents were down in the cafeteria and would return once I was moved. No mention was made of the fight outside my room. As I lay back, the orderly pushed the gurney onto the elevator. I stared up at the silent man. The nurse was called back to the desk and told the orderly where I was to be taken.

The elevator doors closed and the orderly moved, taking off his hat. I knew he'd looked too damn familiar.

"So what's with the goatee, Nicky?" I asked the beautiful blonde man who had become a good friend. He looked me over, checking for himself, and for Brian, to make sure that I was okay.

"Just trying something new," he said with his infectious grin. Then he became serious. "Scott, you have to let him talk to you. This has all been a big misunderstanding. I know you're angry, but please, don't cut him off again," Nick begged. I could see that this was hurting him deeply, seeing his best friend so unhappy.

The elevator doors opened at the new floor and a nurse came over immediately. Nick crept off unnoticed, but I saw his sad face as he looked at me.

I was settled in the new room and eating the breakfast that had finally arrived, when Nick's words echoed in my head. *Don't cut him off again?* He wasn't talking about this morning, and I couldn't have sent him away before because I was unconscious.

I really needed to know what was going on and Brian was the only person who could tell me everything I needed to know. Just as I reached that decision, Mom, Dad, and Charlie walked in. I allowed them to fuss over me for a while because I knew it made them feel better. But I couldn't get Brian off my mind. I finally had had enough.

"Hey, I have a favor to ask," I said and caught their attention. "I'm not going to argue with any of you, but I want to see Brian." Each of them froze. I could see my Dad preparing to argue, but Mom reached out and touched his arm, shaking her head.

"Do you want us to get him?" she asked.

I shook my head. "No. I'll do it, but I need to see him alone." I looked pointedly at each of them. They realized I meant what I was saying.

Finally, Mom spoke up. "We'll come back later this afternoon, Scott. Okay?" She gave me a kiss before walking to the door.

"Love you, Mom," I said as she followed my father and brother out.

I took some deep breaths then reached for the phone and dialed.


I knew immediately that he'd been crying. "Brian," I said, holding back my own tears. The phone was silent, but I could hear him gulping for air. I had to make the next move. "I'm in room 212 now. My family won't be back till later this afternoon." I couldn't stand hearing him cry anymore and hung up. It was his move now.

I closed my eyes and dozed. Less than ten minutes later I heard the door open and peeked through my eyelids to find Brian and Nick standing there, disguised in hats and sunglasses.

Brian took his glasses off, revealing swollen red eyes. I opened my eyes completely and looked at him. He looked sick. He'd lost weight and had circles under his eyes.

"Nicky, would you excuse us for a little while?" I asked softly causing them both to jump.

Nick smiled over at me. "Sure, Scotty. I'll go find some food." I laughed. Nick was always thinking about his stomach.

Brian watched his friend leave then looked at me, remaining where he was. We simply looked at each other. I could see the love he had for me in his eyes. I could see his sorrow and fear and anguish. Everything I myself was feeling.

I held out my hand and he ran over, grabbing it tightly. He sat on the nearby chair and lowered his head to our hands, sobbing. "God, if you had died, I would have died too, Scott. I wouldn't want to go on living without you." His pain pierced my heart.

"Brian," I said softly and he raised his tear-streaked face. "I'm okay. I'm going to be fine," I told him.

He sniffed and wiped the wetness from his cheeks. "We need to talk about what happened in Detroit, Scott."

"I know."

"He, Ray, was kissing me. He knocked on my door, drunk. I stepped into the hall to talk to him, find out what he wanted. He grabbed me and kissed me. You must have stepped off the elevator at the same moment." His intense blue eyes bore into mine, showing me the truth. "As soon as my brain registered what was happening I pushed him away. I heard you gasp and I called out to you but you got back on the elevator." Brian began to visibly shake at the memory. His voice dropped to a whisper. "I tried to follow you, but Ray grabbed me. I yelled until Kevin and Nick came out. They pulled him away and I ran downstairs, but you were gone." I desperately wanted to hold him, but I also wanted to hear the whole story. "About ten minutes later, someone came into the hotel talking about a train running into a car that had been seen racing away from the hotel. A car with Ontario plates. I was sitting in the hotel lobby, praying you would come back. I knew that it was you in the accident."

He paused. "Scott, it wasn't intentional, was it?" he asked me quietly.

"No Brian. It was just my own stupidity. It was an accident," I told him, trying to alleviate some of the guilt he was obviously feeling. "Brian, tell me the rest, please."

He took some deep breaths. "We went to the hospital and the doctors confirmed that it was you. We told them you were part of our staff." He looked at me, his eyes begging for forgiveness at the half-truth. "They finally let one of us see you, while we waited for your family. You looked so fragile," his voice broke and he gulped in air. "You were badly bruised and had little cuts all over from flying glass. I talked to you but you didn't wake up. They said you were in a coma. When your parents arrived, we weren't allowed back in. I told your Mom and Dad that we'd had a misunderstanding; I'd done something that had hurt you. All they knew was that you were hurt and I was the cause of it."

He met my eyes again. "All I wanted was to see you get better. Your parents had you transferred back here to Toronto. They forbid me from seeing you. After a few days, they said you had wakened briefly, and didn't want to see me again." I inhaled sharply.

He lowered his eyes. "I didn't blame you. I felt like I'd betrayed you. Ray was fired. But I couldn't explain things to you; couldn't apologize for causing you so much pain; couldn't beg you to forgive me," tears began streaming freely down his face, "couldn't beg you to love me again."

I reached over and put my hand on his lowered head. "I still love you Brian. I never stopped. Why do you think I reacted so drastically when I thought you had another lover?"

He raised his eyes and bared his soul. "Scott, there has only ever been you and only will ever be you."

I smiled gently at him and stroked his cheek. "I know that Brian. I've always known it, but once in a while, the irrational part of my brain takes over. As you can see, it's not a pretty thing." Finally, a weak smile from my love. "My Love," I said aloud, savoring the words on my tongue. He responded in kind.

"My Angel." He stood up and leaned over me, hugging me gently.

"I won't break, you know," I whispered in his ear. He squeezed me tighter. I sighed and held on to him, afraid to let go. We stayed that way until a nurse interrupted us.

"Uh hem. Mr. Waters, the doctor left orders that you're to get out of bed for a little while today." We reluctantly separated. The nurse, fortunately, had no idea who Brian was. She helped me into the wheelchair she'd brought. She was observant enough to realize that Brian and I weren't going to be separated. "Perhaps your friend would take you for a *short* ride. Nothing too strenuous, though," she lectured.

Brian nodded. "I'll take very good care of him, ma'am, I promise," he said solemnly.

Brian walked around behind me and pushed the chair out the door. We slowly moved down the hall. I was happy to be out of the small, dull hospital room. I didn't even know which hospital I was in.

I gradually began moving my muscles, flexing my shoulders, wrists and one good ankle. We reached the end of the hall and stopped by a window overlooking the street.

"Two weeks," I said to myself.

"What Angel?" Brian asked. I hadn't realized I'd spoken aloud.

"I've lost two weeks of my life," I said.

"I'm sorry," he whispered and I looked up at him. I grabbed his hand and he squatted down beside the wheelchair.

"Love, I'm not blaming you. No one is to blame. We can't move forward carrying all this guilt about `what if` and `should haves'."

Brian absently brushed some hair from my forehead, reminding me that I needed a haircut. "I know its going to take some time to get back to what we were; time for both of us. But I'm going to do whatever I can. Right now, I do feel responsible. I can't help it. But knowing *you* don't blame me, helps."

His sweet sincerity touched me. I cupped his jaw in my hand and raised his face to mine. I gently kissed those sweet, sweet lips that I hadn't been able to taste during the past two weeks.

Brian broke away first and quickly looked around, making sure no one had seen us. I sighed. "We should go back, love. I'm feeling a little tired." Brian immediately jumped up to take me back. Along the way, Nicky fell into step beside us. I smiled up at him. "Hey, Nicky, Thank you."

"For what?"

"For everything. For taking care of Brian, talking to me." He just shrugged and grinned. Nicky stopped at the door and Brian helped me back into bed. I lay back, suddenly exhausted. Brian looked at me anxiously.

"I'm just tired, love. The doctor said it would take a while to regain my strength." He just nodded and sat down beside me.

"Get some sleep, Angel. I'll be here when you wake up, I promise." Brian took my hand in his. I closed my eyes. I knew things still weren't quite right, but we'd work on it together. I drifted into a peaceful sleep, comforted by the warmth in my hand.


At first, I wasn't sure what had wakened me. Then I could hear loud whispers coming from somewhere in the room. I opened my eyes slowly and looked around. My Mom was sitting in the chair beside my bed. I inhaled sharply, wondering where Brian was, wondering if it had all been a dream. Then I noticed my love over by the door talking in a hushed voice with Nick. Rolling my head the other way, I could see my Dad standing, looking out the window.

"Hey, the star of the show is back," I said quietly, causing everyone to turn and look at me.

Mom spoke first. "Scott, how are you?" I knew from the look in her eyes she was asking about more than just my physical well being.

I smiled at her and looked over at Brian by the door. He walked immediately over to my side and took my hand. I heard my Dad let out a sigh of frustration. I had to do something.

"Could I get everyone in the room to move so I can see you all at once? I have something important to say." I spoke loudly, brokering no objections. My Dad walked around the bed and stood beside my Mom. Nick moved to the foot of the bed. I held tightly to Brian's hand, not allowing him to move.

"Okay, we're going to go through this once, and once only." I met each of their eyes. "I saw Brian kissing someone else, and was hurt. But instead of finding out what was going on, I ran. It was my own fault that I wasn't paying attention to where I was driving. The crash was an accident. No one is to blame." I looked at my parents. "I know you love me and want to protect me, but please, don't ever lie to Brian again. I love him as much as life itself, and I love both of you. I will not be forced into choosing between you. I know there are hard feelings all around, but I'm asking, for my sake, that you realize I love all of you and want and need you all in my life. Please find a way to make peace and forgive each other." I looked at each face in the room. Nick gave me a little nod of encouragement and I smiled.

Brian looked at my parents. "I can never apologize enough for causing your son, or yourselves, so much pain. I never intended it. I love Scott with my entire soul and just want him to be happy. I think I am the man to make him happy." I squeezed his hand and he looked down at me, so much love in his eyes I thought my heart would burst. My parents watched our silent exchange and looked at each other.

"Brian, I'm sorry I lied to you," my Dad apologized.

"We were just so worried about Scott. His life has changed so much since he met you, and we thought maybe it would be better for him to return to his old life." Mom looked at me before continuing. "But that's not our decision to make. I can see that you love him Brian, and I know Scott loves you. We all want the same thing for Scott. We all want him to be happy."

Brian walked over to my Mom. "I will make him happy, Louise," he promised.

Mom stood up and hugged him. "I know you will, Brian."

Brian shook my Dad's hand. Nick just stood there and grinned. Then the nurse came in and declared that there were too many people in the room. She said only family could be visiting now.

"We're all family here," my Mom told her.

Once she left, my parents said goodnight. I'd slept through most of the afternoon. It was close to eight, and they were going to go home, for the first time in quite a while. They would be back tomorrow afternoon.

When they were gone, I looked at the tray of hospital food that a nurse must have brought in earlier. It didn't look very edible. I looked at Nick. "Nicky, do you think you could find me some real food in this place? I'm starving."

Nick laughed. "I'm sure I can find something. If not I'll go to McD's." He left Brian and I alone.

Brian sat down in the chair again and held my hand. I looked at his sad face. "When do you have to go back, love?"

He looked up at me, startled out of his thoughts. "Oh, I think Nick has us seats on a flight tomorrow. The tour has moved on to Dallas." He was distracted. I was worried about him.

"Brian, listen to me." He looked at me. "I'm going to be okay. I'll be out of the hospital in a couple of days and back on my feet in no time. As soon as I'm able, I'll join you on tour and we'll really talk. In the meantime, you have to take better care of yourself. You're so thin, and look like shit."

He smiled. "Gee, thanks!"

"I mean it Brian. You have many people depending on you. If you get sick and can't perform, too many people will be disappointed. I know you don't want that to happen."

He grinned at me, "You know, you sound like someone I know. Now who was that again? Oh yeah, Kevin."

I laughed and brought his hand to my lips. "No need to get insulting, love. By the way, how is your cousin?" Brian knew what I was asking.

"Kevin's fine, and so are he and Sheri. They've been talking almost every day. They really love each other. Your parents still don't know?"

I shook my head. "I think Sheri is planning on springing it in November when the band is here."

Nick returned a few minutes later, his jacket bulging. He pulled out three bags, containing hamburgers, fries, and milkshakes.

"Oh, Nicky, will you marry me?" I asked in my most girlish voice. "You're my hero."

We all laughed and devoured the food. I was happy to see Brian eating.

I wanted to stay awake and talk, find out how the tour was going, but I couldn't keep my eyes open. Nick sat quietly by the window, and Brian sat beside me.

"Go back to sleep, Angel. I'll be back tomorrow before we leave." He kissed my cheek and I hugged him to me.

"I love you Brian, my love, always."

"Love you too." He followed Nick out the door, turning off the overhead light behind him.

To Be Continued.........

Kenitra ;-)