Author: Angel
Email: NikkaWhat@Hotmail.com
Pairing: Lance & JC (of course!)
Disclaimer: Umm duh, of course I don't know (or own, too bad though) N'sync, (or any other boy bands I might happen to mention throughout the rest of the story) if I did I'd be out with them, trying to make sure they fall in love with me, (or at least desire me) not sitting here! So no I'm not implying anything and no I don't know anything either.
Message from the Author: Hey everybody, it's me again, I'm still here. And once again I think this part is longer than the last one so yay! I'm all happy now, :). Y'know at first I thought this was just gonna be story I whipped out in like maybe 3 or 4 parts, but now I'm getting so involved in this that I'm thinking I might be writing it forever! Well I hope you all enjoy it and thanks to everyone who's been emailing me, you're all so great! Special thanks to Dawn and Laurence!
Last time on Mistaken Dreams (how soap opera am I?):
He meant to tell Lance everything, that he was gay, that he was hopelessly in love with Lance, that if Lance wanted him to leave he would but that Lance was the only one for him, that he would always always love him, no matter what happened between them. He meant to say all that and more but when he opened his mouth all that came out was:
"Lance, who's Brian?"
Chapter 3
Mistaken Dreams: Lance n' JC.....
Meanwhile, in Justin's room:
"Oh, man, he has got it BAD!" Chris said, after JC had dashed out the door.
"No kiddin', I just hope he doesn't do anything stupid, he could really get himself hurt." Joey replied.
"Lance would never hurt JC, he's his friend!" Justin cried, quickly coming to Lance's defense.
"We know, Justin, but it could be that Lance doesn't want JC that way, he might just want to stay friends."
"Oh," Justin hadn't really even considered the possibility that Lance might not return JC's feelings, they just seemed so right together. But now that he thought about it he hoped it might be true.
"Besides, we don't even know if Lance is like that." Chris said, `Well, at least you guys don't' he thought.
The other two murmured their agreement even though both knew that Lance was that way. They just didn't realize the other two knew. Each of them had found out from Lance in one way or another, but all seperately, and they had all been sworn to secrecy as well, so they had no idea that they all knew. All of them, that is, except JC.
Flashback:
Justin couldn't get to sleep, again. If this didn't stop soon he was going to have to see a doctor about it, it was starting to affect his performance on stage and his interaction with the other guys. After tossing and turning in bed for a few hours he gave up on sleep and got up and took a shower, afterwards settling down on the couch with the contents of the mini fridge in his lap. He unwrapped half a turkey sandwich, leftovers from earlier, and turned on the TV, flipping until he found something he could stand to watch. It was a remake of an old Shirley Temple movie he had once seen with his mom back home. The Little Princess, he thought it was called. He watched in silence for a bit, eating his sandwich and thinking about the band.
He finished off the last bites of the sandwich and reflected that this movie had been a lot better when he was 8 years old, before picking up the remote and beginning to flip through the channels once again. He landed on MTV and saw one of their videos playing. He watched as Lance messed up on a dance step, it wasn't noticeable unless you knew the routine but he remembered how hard Lance had tried to get that move right and never could, so they had just taped it with him doing it the wrong way, it didn't matter anyway, no one cared but the choreographer.
Lance had been on his mind a lot lately, Justin didn't know why, or at least he didn't want to acknowledge it. The video ended and another came on, a song Justin didn't really like, so he muted it and sat there with thoughts of Lance flitting through his over-active mind.
A walk down to the hotel lobby might help him sleep, he decided, and even if it didn't it would give him something to do other than sit around here and brood. So he turned off the TV, slipped on a pair of baby blue flannel pajama pants and some flip-flops before heading to the door.
Just as he was about to turn the knob he heard voices talking, softly, but loud enough that he could just make out what they were saying if he pressed his ear to the door.
"Brian, please, won't you just stay the night? You don't have to see the guys in the morning or anything, just stay, please, for me?"
"You know I can't do that,"
"Yes, you could, you just won't" Lance said bitterly.
"We shouldn't have done it anyway, you know it's wrong, I shouldn't have let you convince me to do it again." This came from the voice Justin didn't recognize but it still made him mad.
`He won't even say Lance's name, whoever he is,' Justin thought.
"I-I convinced you? Bri- I mean-you- you came to me, I didn't want, b-but-but you, you...you said-"
"I said to let me in, your the one that made me be with you, your why I had to come over, you made me."
`God, Lord, I can't believe it, he's blaming this on me, after all this time, after everything he's done to me, with me, he's still ashamed of me, of us, of what we do, what he makes me do, and he's still blaming me....'
"Leave Brian, just leave, I don't want you to stay anymore, and don't come back again,"
"What? Leave? Your not gonna beg me to stay? No `Oh please Brian please, you have to stay, I love you so much'" Even Justin could hear the mocking tone in the man`s voice.
"No Brian, not again, not ever again, you treat me like shit...and I'm not gonna take it anymore. Now go, just go."
"Yeah, right, not like I haven't heard those words before," he laughed. "I'll see you tomorrow Lance." Justin heard heavy foot steps retreating down the hall, then the elevator door open and ding close.
But he didn't think he heard the door across the hall shut, so he opened his own. Lance was standing there in the opposite doorway, the tears streaming down his face. Once he saw Justin watching him he crumpled to the floor. Justin didn't know exactly what was going on but he crossed the hall and took Lance into his arms anyway.
"Lance, it's ok, it'll all be all right," he said, doing his best to comfort his friend. Lance just kept on crying, his tears soaking Justin's shirt.
"He's right." Lance finally whispered into his shoulder.
"What?"
"He's right. He has heard it before, and he will be back tomorrow, and I'll let him in, just like I always do."
"You don't have to you know." Justin didn't really understand what was going on but he knew he had to say something to comfort Lance.
"But I do, no matter how much he uses me, how bad he treats me, how bad he makes me feel, I still love him, and let him keep on using me, I don't know why, I just do." Justin just sat there with Lance, rubbing his back and letting him cry. Finally, the need to know got the better of him. He took Lance's chin in his hands and tilted the blonde's head up until their eyes met. He spoke softly, afraid that Lance would fly away like a startled bird if he spoke any louder, asking:
"Lance, who is he?"
End Flashback.
**********
Justin thoughts were interrupted by Chris, who was looking at him worriedly and waving his hand in front of Justin's face.
"Huh?" he asked, not comprehending the words coming from Chris's mouth.
"Justin, I called your name like 5 times! Where were you dude!?"
"Oh, I was just, just thinking about stuff.....sorry....Do you want this muffin? I don't think I`m gonna eat it after all."
"Uh, yeah! What did you think I was asking about?!?!"
"Oh, I didn't even hear you, sorry, I'm just kinda spacin,"
"Yeah, we noticed." Joey replied, while Chris took a large bite out of the muffin, spilling crumbs all over the floor.
**********
"Lance, who's Brian?" JC asked again, after getting no reaction out of the sobbing youth in his arms.
JC felt Lance shudder and stiffen in his arms, and then for a moment he seemed to weaken and go limp and JC was sure that Lance was going to tell him. But then Lance jumped up, the top of his head smacking JC's chin, sending JC backwards on the bed.
Lance ran around the room, throwing a sweatshirt on over his beater and thrusting his feet sockless into his shoes before rushing out the door.
*********
"Ok, well since it's not time to get ready yet I think I'm gonna go out and get a breath of fresh air." Justin said.
"Oh, you want some company?" Joey asked.
"Actually I think I just need some alone time for now, if that's cool with you guys,"
"Yeah yeah, sure, that's fine." Joey replied while Chris just grunted. `I'm gonna definitely have to keep an eye on that kid.' Joey decided.
So Justin stood up and went to the door, opening it in time to see Lance rush out of the room down the hall in just his pajamas, tears streaming down his face, and bolt past before Justin could even make an attempt to grab him.
*********
JC sat up on the bed and leapt to his feet, ignoring the pain in his chin. He rushed to the door and out into the hall in time to see Lance run around the corner and through the door marked `Stairs'.
He took off down the hall after Lance but Justin grabbed his arm and spun him around before he could get very far.
"What the hell did you do to him!?!?!" Justin screamed in JC's face.
*********
Lance had to get out of there, he wouldn't be able to think coherently until he got out of there, that was all he knew. They had the whole floor to themselves he remembered, so he smacked through the door marked `Stairs' and dashed down them at breakneck speed, almost falling more than once.
`Maybe if I just fell that would be better, then I wouldn't have to worry about all this, maybe it would just all go away,' But he knew it wouldn't. Slipping down the stairs wouldn't help anything, it'd just make it worse, and leave him helpless when the other guys came looking, which he knew they would do. So he just kept on running: into the lobby, out the front doors of the hotel, across the busy street to the other side where he lost himself in the crowd of humanity. He had to go somewhere, he realized, otherwise they would find him right away. He almost hailed a cab before remembering he had no way to pay. It had been stupid of him to rush out of there so fast, he should have at least taken his wallet, he thought.
`But I had to get out of there! Oh well, I guess I'll just walk.' For the first time since bursting out of his room he remembered to slow down his pace.
`Way to go Lance, RUN through the crowd, that's a sure fire way to not attract attention to yourself.' The teen trash mags would love to get pictures of him looking like this, he knew. So he slowed down and pulled the hood of his sweatshirt up and then down over his head, blending with the crowd.
********
The screaming from the hall drew Joey and Chris out of the room.
"What the hell is going on out here?!" Chris demanded, when he saw Justin standing there, shaking JC by the shoulders and yelling at him.
"Lance ran away!" Justin shouted at them.
"HE WHAT! WHY!?!?!" Chris screamed.
"I don't know, why don't you ask JC, he's the one that did it!"
Chris turned on JC, making to shake him even harder than Justin was, but before he could do anything Joey shouted,
"EVERYBODY STOP!!!!!!!!" Joey didn't use that voice very often but when he did everyone listened. Justin let go of JC, who sagged back against the wall, and Chris stopped in mid step while everyone got quiet.
"What happened to make Lance run doesn't matter right now, we can figure it all out later," he said, casting a meaningful and quite threatening glance at JC. "For right now all that matters is that we find him, so here's what we're gonna do: Chris and Justin, you two get a cab to the airport and make sure he's not trying to hop a plane home or anything, I'll go look for him at some of the local hangouts he might go to and JC....you stay here and wait for him in case he comes back."
"But-" Chris began.
"I don't want to-" JC continued.
"I should go alone to the airport so Chris could-" Justin tried to finish.
"Guys, I don't care what you all think, just do as your told, got it!?!?!" Joey yelled at them. They all nodded meekly. They had never seen Joey like this before and had no intention of testing what he might do.
"Now go!" he said. JC wished the guys luck and went back into Lance's room to sit and wait. Justin and Chris both returned to their rooms to get on shoes and grab their wallets. Joey walked into his room and threw on a pair of pants that weren't pj's before grabbing some cash, walking out the door, and taking the elevator downstairs to the lobby. Joey felt pretty calm because he knew exactly where Lance would be, or whereabouts at least. But he also knew that it would be best if he found Lance, so he sent the other guys out on a bogus search. Well, at least he hoped it was bogus, he didn't think Lance would do anything crazy like hop a plane to somewhere but it was probably best that he covered all the bases just in case, Joey decided. He got out the hotel lobby doors and looked around. A five-minute walk would bring him to the park where he was sure he would find Lance. He decided to take it slowly instead of haling a cab since he thought Lance would probably be walking and he wanted to give Lance some time to think about stuff and get it all sorted out in his mind before showing up.
********
After a few minutes Lance saw a park, the one he and Joey had spotted last night when they had gone for a walk while the others watched a movie.
`Joey will probably look there since it's the nearest place I could go,' he thought, but he knew he had to go somewhere so he turned onto the cement path that ran through the park, walking along with his head down. He saw a set of swings in the distance that didn't seem to have any children on them so he headed towards them. When he got there he shook the rain droplets off the seat and sat down, gently swinging himself back and forth. He swung for a bit, just thinking. Now that his heart had slowed down his head could think.
`How could JC know?' He wondered. He couldn't imagine that any of the other guys had told him, they just wouldn't, he was sure of that. `He didn't seem mad though, just, just curious and...worried.' A group of passer byers gave him strange looks as they walked along the gravel path that ran parallel to the playground but he ignored them and just stared down at the blacktop under his feet. `I shouldn't have run, why did I run? He wasn't mad at me, he didn't hate me...' `But he would have,' A small voice whispered in the back of his mind, `once he knew who Brian really is, what he was to you, is to you.' Lance started to cry. Because it was true, JC would hate him once he knew.
********
Joey came to the park after about 10 minutes of meandering along the sidewalk, going as slowly as he could without actually coming to a complete stop. When the park came into view he left the sidewalk and cut across the grass onto the cement path, looking around for Lance. When he didn't see him after a minute or so he started to get worried.
`Oh god,' he thought, 'what if I was wrong? What if he is doing something crazy? What did JC say to him?! I should have found out before I left.' He reached into his pocket for his cell phone and realized it was still on the dresser at the hotel. `Dammit! Why did I just assume I was right? Why didn't I plan this out better!?!?!?!' But in the middle of berating himself he reached the top of the little hill the cement path went up and saw blonde hair peeking out from under the hood of the man sitting still on the swing set, looking at his feet.
`Thank God,' he thought, and started down the hill.