Date: Tue, 31 Jul 2001 23:11:48 EDT
From: Blue4Clue4@aol.com
Subject: Music To My Ears-3

Authors Note: Yeah this is really really late, so shoot me. I'm sorry,
but I've had some stuff going on lately and this hasn't been really top
priority, so get over it. In the future, I hope to submit sooner, but
these past few weeks have been tough. I owe a HUGE thank you to my friend
Leo. For being there to talk to me, for helping me through some tough
stuff. Thanks man, more than you know. Thanks to him, everything will
most likely work out..And I want him to know how much I really appreciate
his support. Anyway, I hope you like this next chapter, although I'm not
too sure that I have any readers because I haven't gotten a single
response to the last one..ok, I got 1. so WRITE ME>>PLEASE!!
Blue4Clue4@aol.com. I love feedback, hook me up!!!
Please...feedback...it's good!! So, here's chapter three!

Disclaimer: I do not know the Backstreet Boys, and I don't know anything
about they're sexual preferences, it's all fiction. Blah blah blah, you
know if you don't like it, leave, if you're too young, leave..and if you
like it..READ...so with no further ado....music to my ears.

Chapter 3-- More Than That

The tears were at a steady flow now. I looked up somehow in denial of
what I would see. It couldn't be him, he had touring, he had the guys,
and although I had talked to him, this drop in was completely
unannounced, uninvited, but certainly not unwelcomed. My gaze met his,
and I saw his tears match mine. Only, in that instant, that very moment,
did our tears turn to those of happiness, because I once again felt so at
ease, and so like I should.

"Brian, I...what..." I barely squeaked the words out before I found
myself in a silence, a natural silence.

"Scott, that was absolutely beautiful, I didn't know you could sing or
play like that." He whispered so only I could hear as he pulled me to my
feet and enveloped me in his warm, protective grasp.

"Brian," I buried my face in his shoulder and spoke to only him, "Please,
call me Scotty"

I started to think back to the past weeks, and how life had been without
Brian. It just seemed so right when he was near. He comforted me with
just a smile or a look. He did it unknowingly, it was just him, and he
was all that I really needed. Although, he had missed quite a bit while
he was gone, I mean, he couldn't possibly understand everything yet,
right? I didn't really see any reason to worry him, he had enough weight
on his shoulders already. Thousands, if not millions of people depended
on him. He had responsibility out the ears to the public, his fans, the
guys, his family, he didn't need more to put a strain on him. It would
have to wait.

"What?" He laughed it out to the night, he seemed confused. "What do you
mean?"

"I mean that, Steven used to call me Scotty, please, call me Scotty."

"Ok kid, Scotty it is, " Brian said with so much heart in his voice "Hey
Scotty..?" The mood was lightened.

"Yeah Brian?" The humor had returned to my voice and I was again feeling
comfortable with myself, with my life.

" Do you think that maybe we could go inside, I'm cold." He sounded just
like the little boy that I know he had lurking inside him, not that that
was a bad thing or anything.

"Yeah, but we'll be open to the wrath of my brothers." I blurted without
a second thought.

He just laughed and started to pull away. He extended his arm and I
promptly took his hand and we walked up to the apartment. I took a much
needed deep breath before I unlocked the door. As I opened it, I was
relieved to see no one waiting for me behind it. I quickly ran to my room
to deposit my guitar in its safe keeping and I then rejoined Brian in the
common room. He was so peaceful looking. As is sat next to him he put his
arm around me. I looked at him, and gazed into his big and beautiful blue
eyes.

"So, are you warm yet?" I asked, not knowing what to say at that moment.

"Im getting there," he said very casually.

" Can I tell you something Bri?" I blurted out.

"Anything," he said calmly.

" Whenever I am with you everything is sweeter, my problems seem to
disappear. Without you in my life I honestly don't know what I would do.
Sometimes I think about where my life is going; I come up with the
conclusion that nothing ever goes right... Then I think about you, and
everything just seems brighter. Like a little ray of sunshine that is
casting over my stormy sky and.."

"Um, Scotty, that's lame." He said courtly, but I sensed the held back
laughter parading inside him.

"Yeah, shove it..You...dancing singing, non-songwriting.."

"Are you're done, because I'm finished listening. And for the record,
I've written many songs, but apparently the record hanchos don't see the
beauty and the potential and the intrigue and the mysticism.."

I promptly cut him off because I think it was high time for him to stop
talking while I still had a little bit of respect left for him.

"Okay, Brian, you're done. And for the record," I said imitating his
every word, "Telling your mommy how much you love her and telling your
ex-girlfriend to get to steppin'(*snap snap*) isn't exactly the kind of
song that earns one respect.."

"You making fun of my momma??"

"No, not directly." I tried to hold back the laughter that would
inevitably come and I saw the same look mirrored in his eyes.

With that and a quick glance into each others eyes, we doubled over
laughing hysterically. This was our first fatal mistake. Had we not been
screaming out of our minds, and had our brains and logical sides not been
"out to lunch" we probably would've heard the stirring from down the
hall. We most likely would've been aware of my brothers entering the
common room clad in just their boxers leaning against the door frame with
sleepy looks on the faces. Had our eyes not been pressed so tightly
closed we most likely would have seen them laughing at us. As the
laughter subsided and my brain reentered the building I unknowingly
recoiled at whatever Barrett was about to say.

" So, what's this I hear about your "momma" Brian?" he said sarcastically

" Oh nothing really, your brother was being an asshole, that's all" he
said

"Oh, really? Because if he can't play nicely with the other boys, we'll
have to put him in a time out," Barrett added, wide-eyed and beaming at
me.

I just glared back at him, and encased Brian's hand in mine.

"Come on, Scotty, you're no fun, you don't yell back," he laughed.

"Yeah well," I began, but Brian interjected.

"Wait Scott, you let him call you Scotty too?" he inquired.

"My friends call me Scotty, Bri." I returned matter of factly.

"Hey Scott!! I gave you that name, punk!" Barrett hurled at me, the humor
very apparent in his statement.

" I know Rett, and I love you everyday for it, now if you don't mind,
we're trying to get to know one another, " I stressed my words, Barrett
isn't a dumbass, so I hoped he'd get a clue.

"Geez..way to be subtle kid, if you want to get into his pants, you could
at least give him the common courtesy of letting him know before you
grope him in front of your family," he squealed.

" That's real nice Barrett. Hey, Bri do you want to go into the other
room. I mean, I would really like to continue our conversation... if you
know what I mean.." I winked secretively, and then dragged him off the
couch and into my room.

"Scotty, I'm not this easy."

" I didn't think you would be. I thought we could just talk. I really
like being alone and talking to you, about things, personal things."

"O...k... What did you want to talk about."

" I don't know, I was just saying that... I really wanted to get away
from that asswipe!"

"Oh, I guess that's understandable." he leaned in and gave me a kiss on
the nose.

"Thought you weren't easy," I began slowly.

" Well, a quick kiss was never a giant "come fuck me" sign, was it? I
don't know, just felt like doing something weird... whatever that means."

We just sat as his words reverberated into the night. He wrapped his arms
around my shoulders and began to massage the tension that had built up
there.

"So, what do you want to do?" I asked.

"Umm... think about it!!" he said is his husky, slighly Kentucky
voice.(it rhymes :))

Soon we were sitting there, just starring at one another. He leaned in
and kissed my nose, then I kissed his forehead... Our lips touched, I
could feel the romance building up in the room. Suddenly his tongue
opened my lips even wider and protruded into my mouth... We were "getting
into it." I stopped him for a moment.

" Are you sure your ok with this Bri?" I asked curiously

"Its fine, I promise!"

He took me and held me and then started kissing again. His hand began to
rub against my shoulder and eventually down my back. Our lips remained
close, as the passion built and the hormones raged. His hand found its
way to my crotch where it began to move back and forth in steady motions.
I started to get excited and wanted to continue with this, I wanted so
badly to go even further with him. I then remembered that I had brothers,
some of which were down the hallway from our building X-rated behavior.

"Not too much further" I said in the middle of our kissing "I don't want
to go if you know what I mean" I said

He laughed and said "Just a little bit more, please...?!"

Suddenly I heard a coughing noise, I looked up, Barrett was standing in
the doorway, laughing hysterically.

"What did I say about groping in plain sight?" he asked crudely.

"Plain sight, is not behind a closed door," I retorted, frustrated at my
now softening excitement. Barrett just laughed, spun around on his bare
feet and left us in peace. I groaned. " I was so close," I began.

"Well," Brian started. "You said you didn't want to go, and you didn't
so.."

" I was lying," I smirked.

With that he took my neck in his palm and leaned in close. Our lips
touched with a fragrant spark. His tongue swished seductively around my
lips and opened my mouth further. His hand leafed through my hair, it
felt like strand by strand, and eased my muscles. My hand was placed on
his chest and I began to move downward, with a slow, stroking motion when
he pulled away and place a close-mouthed kiss on my lips.

"Scotty," kiss. " I really," kiss. "Have to," kiss. "Pee," kiss.

"Hold it," I said promptly.

"Ok," he returned.

I started to swivel my hips into his as we began to kiss more
passionately. My hands moved to his pants, and I undid the button and the
zipper and started pull them off. He leaned forward to help, and I slid
them off and in a heap I threw them on the floor. He quickly returned the
gesture and removed my t-shirt. I started to unbutton his polo shirt, and
then pulled it up over his head and leaned down to run my fingers all
over his hard chest. I flicked his nipples and he moaned noticeably, and
fidgeted slightly in his striped boxers. There we sat, in complete
anticipation. I reached down and placed my hand on the crotch of his
boxers. His hard dick arched to meet my hand. I rubbed slowly, across the
straining fabric, his breathing grew more rapid.

"Mmm. Don't stop," he croaked. His hands began to wander. All over my
flesh, he ran his fingertips softly. His hand moved to the waistband of
my boxers and began to reach inside. I quickly hurled backward, breaking
our kiss.

"Not yet," I began, slightly out of breath.

"What?" he pleaded. "It's not a big deal, Scotty." He again, placed his
hand on my lower stomach, and started to remove my boxers.

"Brian, please." I implored. " I don't want this to be some dumb quickie.
I want to love you more than that."

"Ok, Scotty, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to push this, I just felt something
so incredible so beyond me."

"It's called horny, Brian," I laughed.

"No, I've been horny, this was, something else," he stated seriously.

"I believe you, me too, but I just don't think it's time." I added.

"Ok, Scotty, but..I love you."

" I love you too, but I'm not ready."

"It's ok, sweetie. I don't think I am either. That was getting a little
far, eh?"

"Yeah," I agreed sheepishly.

We sat just thinking for a few moments, as our excitement slowed, and
then disappeared, but the comfort that I had felt with him that first
moment, still remained.

" I still gotta take a mean piss," he laughed and pressed slightly on his
crotch.

"Ok, lemme check if the coast is clear," I walked to the door and stuck
my head out. Down the hall, I saw the bathroom door closed, light on, and
the shower running. "Bri, someone's in there, so it's gonna be a bit."

"Well, I gotta go," he said in a baby voice.

"What are we, three?" I said and chuckled almost too loudly. (You know
the code, don't laugh at your own jokes)

"Well I do," his voice had returned to normal. I laughed abnormally loud
at him. There he was, clad in only boxers, hair in a rumpled mess, dried
sweat covered his skin, and he was holding his crotch with a intense
concentration on his face. The wheels in my head began to turn, as I came
up with my...plan.

"You're such a sitting duck," I told him, trying to conceal my laughter.

"What do you mean?" he strained.

"I just mean, that you're sitting there, hands, well tied up at the
moment, and half naked. It's just like your asking me to just..do this!"
I sprung at him and started to tickle him all over. He tensed up real
quick, his muscles in both his stomach and his hands the tighest as he
began to giggle and laugh uncontrollably. He could barely speak in
protest.

"Scott...come...on..I...gotta piss......this isn't..........funny!"

"Really, then why are you laughing?" I asked like a smart ass.

"No, really......you....have....to..stop....I'm gonna piss....all
over...your bed!" He yelled. His one hand clenched around the base of his
dick and the other pinched the head. "I can't
hold...out...much...longer." With that I relented and he sat up, still
grasping his crotch. "Are they out yet, I really gotta go." He pleaded.

"This much I can see," I stuck my head out the door "Nope, not yet." He
groaned and removed his hands, as he had regained control. He put his
palms down on the bed, and rubbed his feet over the carpet. He rose to
his feet and took a few steps toward me. "You look pained," I snorted.

"Yeah well, *this* isn't a walk in the clouds," He said. I picked up the
cup of water I always kept on my desk and started to down it. And then
placed the empty cup back on the desk. I swallowed hard. He pressed his
groin again and bent his knees slightly, but then quickly straightened
up. "Shit man. I'm getting a little desperate here."

"Well, you could always piss in this cup," I joked as I picked back up
the cup and shook it around a little bit.

"Really, ok," He interjected quickly!

"Brian, hun, I was kidding," I returned as he grabbed the cup from my
hand and he walked over to the corner to the room, his back to me.

"That nice. I wasn't," With that, he started to piss in the cup. I just
shook my head and laughed at him. Suddenly the door opened, and Barrett
stuck his head in the door.

"Hey, Scotty, if you want the shower...what the hell is he doing?" His
eyes almost bugged out of his head as he caught a glimpse of Brian
pissing in the corner.

"Long story," I really didn't have the desire to explain to him. Brian
finished up and left with his cup into the bathroom, and Barrett returned
to his room.

I started to shake a little bit and went over to my closet and pulled on
a T-shirt and some flannel pants. My muscles ached a little bit, and I
just felt a little off. It had been like that for days, but I'm sure it
was just some dumb bug and I'd be fine after a good night's sleep. I
crawled into bed and waited on my back for Brian's return. Once he came
back, he stood in the doorway and just looked at me. His eyes spoke
sincerity and love. He had me at hello. Man. I loved him so much it hurt.
Only, I couldn't decide if that was a good thing. I couldn't ever hurt
him. I became suddenly afraid to let him get too close, and that I might
hurt him one day. One day I just might not be here. I couldn't really
worry about that now though.

The lights flipped off. He eased toward me, and it seemed the room
suddenly doubled in length. I longed to reach out and touch his flesh,
and draw him closer to me, but my arms seemed weak, almost limp. He just
stepped closer and pulled back the covers, crawling in towards me. He put
his arm around me and softly kissed my forehead. My eyes began to close
and sleep started to envelop my tired soul.

"Night, Brian," I muttered.

"Sleep my angel," he whispered. He began humming softly, and while he
provided his angelic music, my mind started feeding my sluggish body the
words.

...if you could step into my head, tell me would you still know me, if
you woke up in my bed, tell me then would you hold me? Or would you
simply let it lie, leaving me to wonder why, I can't get you out of this
head I call mine and I will say, oh no I can't let you go, my little
thrill, because you're holding up my world, so I need you Your imitation
of m walk and the perfect way you talk It's just a couple of a million
things that I love about you So I need you And if I jumped off the
Brooklyn bridge tell me would you still follow me? And if I made you mad
today, tell me would you love me tomorrow? Please Or would you say that
you don't care, and then leave me standing here Like the foot who is
drowning in despair and screaming? So I need you...

Sleep overtook me, but I felt a smile curl upon my lips. I felt home.

_______________________________

The sun broke through the window shades and rested happily upon my
eyelids. I saw the reddish glow and meekly opened my eyes to the new day.
My breaths were deep, and calm as they hadn't been in many nights.
Brian's still rested over me, and I could feel his rising and falling
chest on my back. I rested my head on my pillow and just listened to him
breathing.

He suddenly fluttered open to the new day and sat up, taking in the
sights, the smells of our environment.

"Well, I'm hungry, let's eat!" He smirked.

We got up and headed into the kitchen, where both of my brothers, Ross
and Barrett, were seemingly awaiting our arrival.

"Well if it isn't the lovebirds," Ross said, not looking up from his
plate.

"No, these aren't lovebirds, it's just Brian and Scott," Barrett added.
He had a way about him, something "Mel Brooksesque", always one-upping
everyone.

The phone came ringing into the morning, as Brian and I fixed some
cereal, clanking dishes and drawers. I sauntered sleepily over to the
phone and lifted it from its receiver.

"Hello," I silently wished it wasn't my boss calling me to come into
work.

"Hi, Scott Marshall please," I guess I got my wish.

"Speaking," I returned, unsure of who was at the other end of the phone.

"Hi, Scott, this is Dr. Burns, I need you to come into the office this
afternoon, to go over your test results," he stated flatly.

"Can you just tell me now?" I wanted it to be over, just tell me, I don't
think I can handle marinading in these "what if" thoughts all day.

"Um, actually, I think we should do this in person,".

"Ok, I will, thank you." I placed the phone deliberately back in its
cradle and moved back into the kitchen to my cereal.

"Who was it, Scott?" Barrett asked.

"Doctor," I said without showing interest.

"So..is it good?" Rett prodded.

"I don't know."

"Scotty?" Brian interjected.

"What?" I snapped.

He recoiled at my harshness, but continued.

"You don't look so great, you ok?" He seemed worried.

"I don't know." I answered.

TBC........Hoped you like this chapter, again I'm really sorry that I
didn't get this out sooner, but life's an interesting development I
suppose. As always I REALLY LOVE FEEDBACK!! Blue4Clue4@aol.com...HOOK ME
UP!! Ok, I used the lyrics to So I Need You by the band 3 Doors Down, so
give them credit where credit is due. Thanks for reading, and see you
next time, if there is one! Scotty