Date: Mon, 13 Dec 2004 02:13:45 -0800 (PST) From: Sean Subject: My Family: For Better or Worse Chapter Three Disclaimer: This story is fiction, totally fake. I don't know NSYNC, or any of the other celebrities that will show up, don't know anything about them, besides the usual fan stuff, I don't know anything about any of the guys sexuality. This is simply a story that I wanted to write. I hope you enjoy it. Legal Stuff: This story does contain some adult material, and not necessarily sex. It covers a sensitive subject. Eventually there might be some sex involved and if you are underage you better not being reading this. Or if it is illegal in your area to view this material. If it's not then enjoy and remember authors need feedback to make the story better, so write me. Authors Note: To all the people that have written me I want to say thank you for all your kind words and also say I am sorry for taking so long to post. I am trying to get better at that. Dedication: I wish to dedicate this story to my one and only love, I love you Cupcake and I always will. Chapter Three: Spending time with Justin. From the time we left the hotel room till we got to the hospital, Justin never once let go of me; if he didn't have his arm over my shoulder he had it around my waist or was holding my hand. I was becoming increasingly stressed as we neared the hospital. Justin and I were in the back of an SUV, our bodyguard was also severing as a driver and I was glad not to have to deal with that particular problem. Justin squeezed my hand. "You okay?" He said. "Not really, but I will deal." I said he pulled me over to him and wrapped me in a hug. I laid my head on his shoulder and concentrated on my breathing. Finally we pulled up to the hospital it was a nice looking place as hospitals go, but it was still a hospital. As our bodyguard go out Justin pulled out a baseball hat and some sunglasses, standard celebrity disguise he told me. We walked into the hospital, I balked a few times but Justin gently but firmly pulled me along, and finally we were in the elevator. "What floor?" Justin asked me. "Fifth." I said and fell silent again. "Sean, Bro, what's wrong?" Justin said pulling me into a hug, he looked upset himself. "Bro, I just don't want to go up there too many painful memories." I said as I let out a breath. "But I have to, I have to get better." I finished; Justin pulled me into a tight hug. "You are taking a big step today. And I am so proud of you Bro." Justin said then he kissed my cheek. "And I will be there the whole time." He added. "Promise?" I asked. "As long as your doctor doesn't object." He said. "I am sure I can convince him." I said. The elevator dinged, we were here the doors opened up and we stepped out on our floor. I hooked my arm in Justin's and practically pulled him along. "Come on I will sign you in and then we can get this over with." I suddenly came to a stop "Justin" I said in an urgent whisper. "I can't sign you in, it might cause a riot and this is a hospital." Justin just smiled at me. "Don't worry about it Bro, I have already thought of a plan. Just sign me in as James Fantone." He said. "Yeah, that should work." I said looking a bit down. "What's wrong?" Justin asked. "I was just hoping to show you off a bit." I said, and then felt bad because it sounded like I only wanted him to there for show. "Not that that is the reason I wanted you to come." I said as the smile fell form his face as he realized what I had said. "I wanted you to come because I want to spend time with my big brother." I added, that wiped the frown form his face and replaced it with a smile. "That and you knew you would chicken out with out someone to push you." He said with a laugh. "True." I agreed. We walked down the hall arm in arm again, good mood restored. Coming to Nurse's Station I was hoping to see someone specific, and God heard my prayer. Dani looked up just in time to see me wave at her. She jumped up ad ran over to me, but stopped halfway there when she noticed Justin and his arm around mine. "Sean what is going on?" She said. "Dani, I need a huge favor." I said with a smile, Justin caught my wink to him and he knew what I was planning. "Another favor isn't it enough I helped you get out of here to go see your angels in concert, now you want more." She said trying to look mad but failed. "Yep." I said. "Come on Dani, it's me please." I said giving here those big puppy eyes. "God, some days I hate you, you know I can't say no to you. What do you need and what will it cost me?" She said with a laugh. "I need you to let us into my room here, and for you to bring the sign in sheet to us." I said. "I will explain the rest in the room." I said. "Sean, you know that is breaking hospital policy, they have to be signed in first." She said like she was reciting the manual, then she smiled, "But to hell with policy. Go on I will be in there in just a second." She added. As we were walking down the hall towards my room Justin leaned over and whispered. "I can see why you like her she is fun." "I heard that." She said in a raised voice. Justin turned red. "Sorry about that Justin, I should have warned you, she has ears like a bat." I said. "I heard that too." She said, again. We busted up laughing as I pushed open the door. As soon as the door was open and I saw the bed my laughter died, I felt like I was going to pass out. Justin grabbed my arm and led me towards the bed, but I pulled away and backed against the wall. As soon as my back hit the wall I let out a yelp and jumped forward. "Sean what's wrong, please talk to me Bro." Justin said he voice starting to panic. "I can't do this; I can't get back on that bed. Look you can still see the blood stains." I said in a cracking voice, pointing to the bed. Justin looked at the bed, it was covered in snow white sheets there wasn't a spot on it. "Bro there is nothing on that bed. It's okay." He said as he pulled me to him. "I can still feel the blood there." I whispered. Just then Dani walked in as the tears fell down my face. "Sean what's wrong?" I just held on to Justin tighter. "He is afraid of the room, is it possible to move him somewhere else?" Justin said. "Yeah, the room across the hall if free lets take him in there." She said. "What happened?" She asked Justin as they got me to the door. "The blood." Was all I could say. "What is he talking about?" Dani asked. "He looks at the bed and sees it covered in blood." Justin said quietly. When we had gotten into the other room I finally started to calm down. "I am sorry guys; I know I am making a fuss over something stupid." I said. Justin just shook his head. "If it's important to you, it's important to me." He said. "Me too." Dani agreed. "So are you going to introduce me to your cute new friend and his shadow?" She asked changing the subject. "First I need a promise form you. I want your most solemn vow you won't tell a soul what I am going to tell you." I said. "Sean, on my honor as a nurse, on my love for my family and on my promise to heal you, I won't breath a word to anyone. Now tell me I am about to burst." She added with a laugh. "One last thing, no screaming remember we are in a hospital." "Okay no screaming, but first how was the concert was it everything you wanted and more? Did you make it to see your angels perform?" She asked me. "I got to do more than just see them." I said as I reached up and pulled off Justin's hat as he pulled the sunglasses away. Dani's eyes went round and her mouth fell open. "No screaming remember." I said. Her mouth clamped shut. For about two minutes she just stared at us. "How?" She said finally. "Long story, maybe I will tell you later. For now, Dani meet my brother Justin Timberlake, Justin this is Dani one of the nurses that saved my life." "It's nice to meet you." She said holding out her hand, as Justin took it she looked like she wanted to say something else. She didn't so I did it for her. "OH MY GOD. I am shaking hands with Justin Timberlake." I said in an excited whisper. I jumped up and down for added effect. Justin laughed but Dani fixed her death stare on me, I stopped looking down like a child having been caught with his hand in the cookie jar. "That wasn't nice Bro." Justin said in his best big brother scolding tone. "And laughing at it was?" I shot back. He smiled at me. Dani held up her hands in a stopping motion. "Wait, I am confused." She said. "You're just not getting confused." I said raising an eyebrow. "Stop, Bro." Justin whispered, placing a hand on my shoulder. I stopped talking. "What are you confused about Dani?" Justin said. She turned to me. "He is your brother?" She asked. "Yes." I answered "You have two different names." "I am adopted." "But you told me you're step brother's name was Mark." "It is." "Then why did you never mention Justin before?" "I think I see where she is confused Bro." Justin said. "Why don't you explain to her how I came to be your brother?" He added "Oh I see." I said. "Justin isn't really my brother Dani. He and the guys of NSYNC kind of adopted me after an incident after the concert. I am NSYNC's little brother I guess." I explained. "What happened after the concert?" Dani asked. "Something I would rather not talk about." I said. "Okay. I can accept that." She said. "So NSYNC has adopted you as a brother that is so cool." She said changing the subject. I pulled the sign in sheet form her hands and signed Justin's name to it. Only later would I remember I was supposed to sign in a different name. Then I looked over at the bodyguard. "I don't think I know your name yet." I said to him. "Darrell." Was all he said, I just made up a last name to go with it. I handed the sign in sheet to Dani. "I bet if you have a piece of paper or something I can get someone to autograph it." I said. Dani seemed to snap out of her trance. "Why don't you go call the doctor so I can get out of here?" I said with a smile. Dani nodded and walked out the room. "Darrell, can you keep an eye out in the hall. Don't let anyone one in here yet, I have to talk to my brother." Darrell just grunted but walked out and closed the door behind him. "What did you want to talk to me about?" Justin asked. I looked at the ground remembering what I wanted to say to him. "Justin, it's about this morning, when you reached out to comfort me and touched my back." I looked up into his eyes. "I wanted to say I am sorry for yelling at you." My eyes filled with tears. "I am so sorry." "Bro you don't have to apologize, you were under a lot of stress, and your back is a sensitive area." Justin said in a soothing tone. "I just didn't want you to think I was mad at you about it." I whispered. "If I thought you were mad at me, you erased that by asking me to come here with you, to be here with you." He said. "So you forgive me?" I said in a hopeful tone. "There is nothing to forgive, but if it will make you feel better then yes. I forgive you." He said as he pulled me into a hug. I felt like a weight had been lifted off of me. "Thank you, Bro." I said. I pulled away when there was a soft knock at the door. I walked over to it and there was Darrell blocking the door, in front of him was Dani and Dr. Ashter, both of whom didn't look pleased with being kept out. I reached up and tapped Darrell's shoulder. "Its okay Darrell we're done." Darrell moved out the way, letting in the other two. He closed the door and took up a post outside the door. "Sorry about that Dr. Ashter, my brother and I were having a private moment." The Doctor merely nodded. "Dr. Ashter, I have a question for you." I said. "Anything I tell you is strictly confidential right?" I asked. "Of course, I would never reveal how a patient of mine had an international pop celebrity in their hospital room." He said with a smile. "How did you know?" I asked. "I have two teenage daughters; believe me I know who you are. It's nice to meet you Mr. Timberlake." Dr. Ashter said, holding out his hand to Justin. "Nice to meet you to Doctor." Justin said. "Dr. Ashter Justin is my new big brother; can he stay in the room with us?" Dr. Ashter frowned. "I don't think I can go through it all by myself" I said. "Very well, but Justin try and stay out of the way, please." He said. I took a hold of Justin's hand and pulled him over to the bed. It was already in the lay down position, kicking off my sneakers. I laid down with my head hanging off the end. I held onto Justin's hand as he knelt down in front of me. I try to concentrate on just Justin not on what was going on in the room, but it didn't work. As Dr. Ashter started to lift the back of my shirt up I let out a pained gasp. "The blood has seeped all the way threw the shirt and the bandages are now attached to each other. Dani we will have to cut the shirt off of him." Dr. Ashter up a reassuring hand on my shoulder. "This may hurt a bit, but you will be okay." Justin looked up at him. "What will we do about another shirt, he can't leave here shirtless." "Justin its okay, the rest of my cloths are in the room across the hall." "Oh okay," I went back to focusing on his hand, his face the sound of his breathing anything but what the doctor was doing. Unfortunately even with the hot guy sitting in front of me I still felt everything and sometimes heard it too. I felt the scissors slide up under the shirt the cold metal touching my lower back. I gripped Justin's hand like it was a life line, for the most part he kept his eyes on my face, but I could tell he wanted to look at my back. After like ten minutes Dr. Ashter had the back of the shirt cut to ribbons. I could feel the cold air on my back, making goose bumps appear, the skin was painfully tight. As Dr. Ashter removed the bandages, I gave into the pain and let loose with a scream as the tears fell down my face. Justin was instantly focused on me; he wiped the tears away with his hand, told me it would be okay, and all the while held on to my hand. The pain was intense I thought I would pass out a couple of times. Finally all the bandages were gone; my back lay open to the world. I wanted to jump up and hide it; I felt the tears start again. "Sean Bro what's wrong? Please talk to me. Say something anything." Justin begged me. "Ju.Ju." Was all I could say, the pain was like a cloud that was closing off my mind. "That's right it's Juju." Justin said, I felt his hand on my face it blocked out some of the room. "Just focus on me, just think about me, and just listen to me." He said desperate to get me away form the pain. I looked into his pale blue eyes so full of worry and fear, the doctor had taken a moment to get the next set of things ready and the pain was fading. "Juju?" I asked Justin. "I am right here." Justin said, and then he noticed the confused look on my face, so he explained it to me. "It's a nickname, Josh gave me, he hasn't used it in years but I still remember it." He said. "Can I call you it?" I said in a small pained voice. "You can call me anything you want Bro." Justin said. I smiled at that and then passed out form the pain. I awoke to the feeling of being smothered. I sat up slightly to discover my face had been lying on a pillow. I took a deep breath once free of the pillow. My back felt funny but it still hurt, in fact every movement was an indication of the pain. I bit back a scream and tried to even my breathing, so it wouldn't hurt. I was facing a wall, but I was sure he was still in the room with me. "Juju?" "I am right here Bro." Justin said as he placed a hand on my right shoulder. "How long have I been out?" I asked. "About two hours." He was massaging my shoulders trying to ease the pain. "When will the pain go away, Juju?" I asked I felt like crying but also felt that would be weak, Justin sighed. "The physical pain should be gone in about a week to two weeks." He said in a soothing voice. "However the mental scars I just don't know." "At least my physical scars have some company." I said trying to lighten the mood. However I felt the tears fall down my face. I felt Justin move, he lifted me up and then I found myself with m head in his lap. He just ran his fingers threw my hair as I cried. "It's going to be okay Bro. The doctor is real hopeful about the scars; he said you should see about seeing a plastic surgeon to see if they can be removed altogether." Justin said. "Really?" I asked looking up at him. "Bro I would never lie to you." Justin said sounding hurt. "Oh Juju I didn't mean it like that, it's just it sounds too good to be true." I said looking sad again, no mater what I do I just end up upsetting people. I was trying so hard, I laid my head back in his lap and tried to fight the tears I felt slide down my face. "Bro what's wrong?" Justin asked concerned. "No matter how hard I try I always end up upsetting the people I care about." I sobbed. "Oh, Bro, you didn't upset anyone well besides yourself." Justin said with a chuckle. "But you were hurt by the fact that I thought you would lie to me, even if that wasn't what I meant." I said, Justin helped pull me into a sitting position. "Bro I understand that trust and belief is hard for you. Yes I was hurt but just for a second; please believe me when I say I am not hurt anymore." Justin's pale blue eyes burned into me telling me it was true. I just nodded I laid my head back on his shoulder. "Anyway back to what we were talking about, Dr Ashter says you should talk to the resident plastic surgeon, but I think you should go to a specialist, if you're up to it I know a place we can go." Justin said once our good, or at least better, mood was back. "Juju, I can't" I said. "Bro, it's okay we can go tomorrow or something, we are here until Sunday anyway." He said quickly. "No Juju, I can't go at all." I said. "Why not?" Justin asked perplexed. "Juju, I am not sure how I am going to pay for this." I said gesturing around us. "Let alone a plastic surgeon. I will just have to live with the scars." I said, I exhaled I felt tired but more mentally then physically. "Oh" Justin put his hand under my chin, so that we were looking eye to eye. "About that, the hospital bills have already been taken care of." He said in a low voice. "What? Who? Justin tell me you didn't." "I can't say that, because I did." Just said with a smile, I frowned. "Justin." I said. "Juju." He interrupted me. "Justin, you knew I didn't want your money. I just don't feel right about it." I said. "I know Bro but technically you are not getting the money the hospital is." He noticed this tactic wasn't working on me. ""Okay, lets try it this way, we're brothers right?" "Yeah, unless you don't want to be anymore." I said my face clouding up. "Never, you will always be my little brother." Justin said. "Well what do brothers do when one is in trouble?" He asked me. "They help each other out." I said "And if one needs money and the other has it?" Justin asked. "He lends it to the one who needs it." I said in a low voice. "But I might never be able to pay it off." I added. "Take as long as you need to pay it off, there is no interest attached. However I do have an idea of how you can start." Justin said to me with a big grin. "How?" "Come with us when we leave on Sunday, come on the tour with us." Justin said. "Juju, I c." "Before you say you can't you should know two other things." This time Justin looked really nervous, he was starting to make me uneasy. "What?" "Dani told me where you work." He said, taking a deep breath he continued. "I called them to see if you could get the time off." He added. "You did what?" I said, stunned I just sat there as he repeated what he had said. "Should you like to know your boss said take all the time you need. So you can go." He said triumphantly. "What was the second thing I needed to know?" I asked my mind still processing the information I was given. "Well.um.you see the thing is." Justin really seemed to have a hard time with this one. "Promise you won't get mad?" He asked. "I can promise to try not to, is that good enough?" I said. He nodded. "Your cell phone rang while you were unconscious. I didn't want it to wake you so I." he stalled out again. "You answered it." I finished his sentence for him. "Who was it? What did you tell them?" I asked. "It was your Aunt Cate." Justin said. "And I told her everything." He said quietly, I saw a tear slide down his cheek, then he turned away form me. "I am really sorry." He said in a broken voice. "Juju, look at me please." I said, he turned around and looked into my eyes. "Its okay, Juju, she would have found out eventually anyway. About everything, I did kind of want to tell her about you myself but oh well." Justin let out a breath. "So you're not mad at me?" "Never Juju, you are my brother and I love you." I said, as I pulled him into a tight hug. "When did she call?" Justin pulled back form the hug and glanced at the clock. "About half an hour ago." He answered. "So when do Nicky and Drewby get here?" I said. "As soon as you call them." He responded, "I got your Aunt not to tell them." He said. "How did you do that? They never keep stuff form each other, least of all stuff like this." I was stunned. "I explained to your Aunt." "Our Aunt." "Aunt Cate, then, that you should be the one to call them and ask them to come down. She agreed but you have to do it before two o'clock today or she will." "Why two o'clock?" "She is already checking into plane reservations and such, this way they have time to pack." Justin explained. "Well no time like the present. Hand me the phone Juju." I said, Justin leaned back and grabbed my cell phone. "If you happen to end up talking to them while I get myself back together, their names are Nick and Drew, Nicky and Drewby are my personal names okay?" "Okay, I understand." He said as he handed me the phone. "You don't have to do this right this minute." He added. "Yes I do. Aunt Cate hates keeping things form them, especially something important, so the less time she has to keep it the better." I said, Justin nodded, I opened the phone and called up the number I needed. "Here we go." I said with a smile. I pushed the button and held the phone to my ear, the first ring didn't even finish before someone picked up. "SEAN? Is that you? What happened? Are you okay? Say something." About that time the voice took a breath, the voice sounded high and strained. "First off Nicky, take a deep breath and calm down. Yes it's me, but I am not okay," my voice was failing, I felt the tears. "Sean what happened what's wrong?" Nick asked me, I tried to answer him but I couldn't. I felt Justin's hand on my shoulder, his other hand wrapped around mine, I drew strength form him. "Nicky, I need you." I whispered. "I am right here." He said. "No Nicky I mean I really need you, I need you here." I said. "I will be there as soon as I can, but Cuz what happened?" By this time I was practically hyperventilating, I knew I would never get it out, I passed the phone to Justin. "Hello Nick?" Justin said tentatively into the phone. "WHERE THE HELL IS SEAN? PUT HIM BACK ON THE PHONE NOW." Nick screamed. "Nick calm down, Sean is right here beside me." Pause. "Who am I? I am his new adopted big brother, but we can talk about that later as for what happened, Eric found him again." There was a gasp on the phone even I could here, Justin handed me the phone again. "He wants to tell you something." "Hello?" My voice sounded weak and scared. "Sean are you in any danger? Will you be okay till we get there? I am contacting Drew now. We will both be there as soon as possible. Just say in the apartment and don't go anywhere." Nick sounded like he was racing around the room, which he probably was. "Nicky I am not at the apartment, not even in Pasadena" I said. "What where are you?" "LA." "What are you doing there?" "Went to the NSYNC concert remember?" My face lit up. "It was so wonderful. I got to meet them in person." Nick laughed. "By the way thanks for the passes Nicky, you have no idea what they mean to me." "Anything for my favorite cousin." "Nicky I am your only cousin." I said with a laugh. "All the more reason for you to be spoiled," Suddenly the banging and the crashing stopped and it sounded like he sat back down. "I have some bad news for you too, but I don't want to tell you like this, I will tell you when I get there okay." "Drewby?" I said in a panicked voice. "He's fine I promise. In fact he just picked up the other line, give me just a second and I will conference the three of us together." I let out a breath as I was put on hold. "Your cousin?" Justin asked worried. "Our cousin, Drewby, is fine. I just over reacted." I said Justin hugged me. "I am on hold for a second Nicky is going to conference me with Drewby so the three of us can talk together." Justin just nodded. He was resting his chin on my shoulder and it felt so good. "I am back, everyone still here." "I am." I answered. "Sean, thank God, I have been trying to get a hold of you for two days, why aren't you answering the apartment phone?" "Drewby, I am not at the apartment, I went to LA to go to the concert remember?" I said. "Oh yeah, had to go see that group didn't you?" He said sounding stuck up. "Don't be insulting to my boys, Drewby. Be nice or I won't let you meet them." I said there were three intakes of breath. "Hold on just a sec guys." I said as I put my hand over the phone, "Juju, can I tell them?" I said I looked into his eyes. "I trust them with my life; they won't say a word to anyone." Justin nodded. "If you trust them that is good enough for me." I kissed his cheek. "Thanks." I put the phone back up to my ear just in time to be deafened. "WHAT?" Drew screamed out. "SEAN? SEAN? Nick what happened to him where is he?" "I am right here Drewby." "Sean we are on out way out there to you. I just have to get plane tickets." Drew said to me. "Talk to Aunt Cate, she should have everything ready and probably bags packed." "Mom? How does she know?" "She called about thirty five minutes ago, and before you get mad, Justin convinced her to let me call you to tell you myself." I said. "Who is Justin?" Drew asked. "I was wondering the same." Nick added. "Justin Timberlake is my big brother, he and the rest of the guys of NSYNC adopted me as their kid brother, after the concert." "Wait let me get this straight; Justin Timberlake is the guy I yelled at earlier?" Nick asked. "Yep so you better apologize and be nice." I said. "And don't worry we are going to go back to the hotel after one more stop and I will stay there till you get in to LAX." "Where else do you have to go?" Drew asked. "A plastic surgeon Justin said he knows we are going to look into having what happened to me and what happened before removed for good." I said with a smile Justin squeezed my shoulder. "Put him on the phone, Sean, I want to talk to him. Drew call mom and find out about our flights and such." "Okay" Drew and I said at the same time. I handed the phone to Justin. "Nick wants to talk to you." I said Justin took the phone form me. "Hello Nick, yes he is perfectly safe there is a security guard outside the door right now." Pause. "We are staying at the Plaza I will tell Lance to get you guys a room." Pause. "I will I promise you. Beverly Hills, then right back to the hotel." Pause. "No somehow I don't think I can convince him of that. You can try. I am really really sure that won't happen." Pause. "No I will go with him he won't leave my sight I give you my word." Pause. "Thank you, I can't wait to meet you too." Justin said and handed me the phone again. "Nicky what all did you say?" I asked, "I will tell you when I get there, for now know that you are in good hands. I have to go Cuz, but Drewby will call later with the flight info. I love you Cuz." "I love you too Nicky." I said then hung up the phone. Justin pulled me into a tight hug, he felt my body relax and knew I was falling asleep again, it was all too much for me to handle. "It's okay Sean, get some rest, we can go to the doctor's office later or even tomorrow in necessary." Justin whispered. "Juju, call Josh please we were suppose to be back a while ago. Let him know we are okay so he doesn't worry." I said in a tired voice. "You got it Bro, just rest." Justin said and with that I was out again. I awoke to find I was once again on my stomach, God I hate sleeping like that, but I knew I had to, Dr Ashter said I needed to so the stitches could heal, only this time the pillow seemed more lumpy, not as soft but still nice. I opened my eyes and almost screamed, Justin was under me, I had been sleeping on his chest. I guess Justin could see the look of fear on my face, because he wrapped his arms gently around me. "It's okay Bro, it's just me and I am not going to harm you." Justin said soothingly, "I know Juju; I just didn't expect to find you in the bed." I said with a slight laugh, "Just threw me off a bit." "Well I noticed you were having a hard time sleeping earlier you kept trying to roll over." Justin said. "I normally sleep on my back." I said. "So I gathered, well since the doctor said you can't do that anymore. I thought this might be a better idea." Justin said looking really worried. "Unless you don't like it then we can never do it again." "No I just have to get use to someone being there in the bed," I said, "But I do like waking up to my big brother." I added with a smile. "Me too, but if you ever don't want this please let me know. I don't want you to do it because you feel like you have too." Justin said seriously. "Deal." I hugged him tight and felt his strong warm arms wrap around me the pain in my back was fading slowly, I guess some pain medication or something had kicked in. "Oh how sickeningly cute." A voice said, I struggled to get up, Justin held me to him. "It's only James; calm down Sean you are perfectly safe here. Darrell isn't going to let anyone in here who isn't cleared." Justin said as I started to settle down. "I am sorry Sean, I didn't mean to startle you." James said as he came to my side of the bed so I could see him. "Sorry I overreacted." I said with a weak smile, I felt exposed with my back out. I wanted to roll over but I knew I couldn't do that. James knelt down so we were eye to eye. "You don't have to apologize Sean you weren't expecting anyone else to be here. It's totally understandable that you would be unnerved by a strange voice in the room. So let's just forget this and move on okay?" James said to me. "Okay," I said in a small voice, I was still grappling with the fear. "I know something that will make you feel better." James said in a sing-song voice. "I know something you don't know." He said teasingly. "What? Oh tell me." I said. "I know something you don't know." "Tell me. Please." I tried my puppy dog eyes on him, but James was prepared he clamped his eyes shut. "James" Justin said in a warning tone, as he watched me become flustered at not knowing. "I can't tell you, I was sworn to secrecy." He said. "No fair you bring it up and then say that." I pouted. "Would it help if I told you, that you will find out in like two minutes?" James said with a smile. "A little bit." "Then you will find out in like two minutes." He said with a laugh. Probably not a minute went by before there was a soft nock on the door. I sat up and asked James to get the door. As he pulled it open there was Josh, I felt a funny flutter in my chest, he stood at the door like he was waiting to be invited in, and something was hidden behind his back I would have bet on it. "Come in Josh." I said quietly, I didn't know why I was suddenly so shy around him. Josh crossed the threshold and slowly walked towards me. I had the sudden urge to jump up and pull him into a tight hug, but I wasn't fast enough, because in seconds he was by my side. "I thought you might be feeling a bit down and low so I got you something to hopefully perk you up." Josh said in that wonderful soothing loving tone. He pulled out what he was hiding and my eyes went round, yellow carnations I gently took them form him looking at them lovingly. "Looks like it's a hit." James said. Suddenly the silence in the room was broken by my sob; three sets of eyes snapped to me as my shoulders shook form the crying. Justin instantly pulled me into a tight hug, holding on to me as tight as he dared. "Sean, Bro, what's wrong?" Justin asked franticly. A few minutes went by before I was able to regain control. "Carnations are my favorite flower." I whispered, so low everyone was huddled around me so they could hear. "Yellow denotes friendship." I added. "I don't get it, if you like them why were you crying?" James asked. "Carnations are not just my favorite but my mothers too." I said as a lone tear rolled down my face. "But I thought you didn't like your mother?" James was still confused. "No James I love my mother, I hate my step-mother." I said. "Where is she?" Josh asked, and instantly regretted it as my face clouded up again. "She died." I whispered barely making a sound, I felt Justin pull me close again. "Oh God Sean I am so sorry." Josh was practically in tears, I felt a tug at my heart for the pain he felt. "I had no idea." He mumbled. "I know Josh." I pulled out of the hug with Justin and stood and pulled Josh into a tight hug. "You had no way of knowing, there is still a million and one things we don't know about each other." I said. "It's okay, I will be fine." "When did it happen?" James asked tentatively. "I was five maybe six." I said slowly. I got kind of a dazed expression on my face. "I don't really remember much, just a touch or a smell. Her skin was always so soft, and smelled of lavender; she use to sing said it helped the flowers grow." I gazed down at the flowers in my arms. "There was a crystal vase that sat in the front entry it was always filled with carnations, of every color. Mommy use to say that she like carnations more then roses because everyone always thought of roses but few people thought about carnations. Maybe she felt bad for them being ignored." I looked up at Josh suddenly. "She also told me that someday a true and honest friend would bring me carnations and that I should hold on to that person for as long as I can because someone like that doesn't come along very often." I added. "What did she mean?" Justin asked. "Just what I said, that Josh is a true and honest friend, and I have to hold on to his for as long as I can." I answered. "But how did she know he would bring carnations?" "My guess would be because they are my favorite, or possibly because the gift shop downstairs only sells these and roses." I said with a laugh, Josh looked down at his sneakers. "I didn't think red roses would be a wise choice." He mumbled. I lifted his chin. "And you would be right, though I like roses too, but I do prefer carnations. And it was a lovely gift and I love it." I said as I kissed his cheek, I felt that flutter of emotions again, what was happening to me? I blushed a deep red and sat back on the edge of the bed, I focused on the flowers. "Looks like someone is embarrassed." James said, my head snapped up then back down with me trying to blush more. Justin fearing I would get whiplash if this continued stepped in. "James leave my little brother alone." Emotions were running rampant in my head; I tried to figure out what was going on but I couldn't I was so confused the more I thought about it the more my head hurt. I reached up and started rubbing my temples. "Are you okay Bro?" Justin asked. "Just a headache Juju." I answered. "Juju? That name hasn't been used in a while." Josh said. Justin caught me frowning. "Bro what's wrong?" He asked me. "I thought you said no one uses that name anymore." I said. "Sean no one does, I was just asking why you are suddenly." Josh said soothingly, he is so good at that. "Oh, I tried to say Justin while the doctor was working on my back, but I couldn't get past the first two letters, I stuttered and it sounded like Juju. Once the doctor took a small break I asked about it and Juju said I could use that name." I explained, my head was still pounding, I felt so badly. "I am so confused about everything lately, my head hurts form trying to figure stuff out." I said. "Do you want to rest some more, or see if Dani has anything for your head?" Justin asked the concern clearly visible in his every movement. "Yeah let's ask Dani for some aspirin and then go home." I said. "Home?" Josh asked. "Uh, I mean the hotel," I stammered. As we got up to leave a thought struck me. "Wait, what about my cloths and stuff?" I asked. "Way ahead of you Bro, while you napped Chris and Joey packed it all up and took it back to the hotel." Justin informed me. "Oh," I said, "where will I stay?" "With me of course," Justin said, then seeing the odd looks of Josh and James, he added. "Unless you want a room by yourself or something." "I would prefer that Sean at least stays with one of us for the time being." Josh said. "Ever the protector, Josh." I said with a smile, as I slipped my hand into the crook of Justin's arm. "Juju, I would love to stay with you." "Actually in a way you will be sharing a room with all of us." James said, then seeing the look of utter confusion on my face he explained. "When we heard of our impending guests we asked the hotel if we could upgrade to a suite. The one we have has seven rooms so technically no one has to share." James said looking pleased with himself. "Actually someone will have to share." I pointed out. "What?" James said confused. "Well there is the five of you guys, then there is Nicky and Drewby that makes seven." I paused, it only took a second for the light to go on, so to speak, and James realized what I meant. Seeing as the other two were still in the dark I continued. "And me making it eight." James' head fell "I am so sorry Sean; I guess Justin isn't the only one to forget you." James said, I could tell he was really upset about it. "Wow, glad to know I am so forgettable." I said with a smile. James' head hung lower, he had obviously missed the humor in my voice. I placed my hand on his shoulder, his pale green eyes looked into my own blue eyes. "James, it was a joke. Its okay, if I wasn't staying with Juju, I would probably be sharing with Nicky or Drewby or both." I said, "So it's okay. "Yeah," he said, I slipped my arm into Justin's. "Let's go find Dani and get out of this place." "Okay, Bro." Justin said as we walked down the hall towards the Nurses Station, body guards in tow. Once I had gotten some headache stuff we headed for the bank of elevators. Before we got there, one of the elevators opened and Chris and Joey walked out and up towards up, looking worried. "Hey guys what's up?" "What's wrong?" Josh asked them. "Word spread, the fans know we're here." Joey said. "So a few fans know you guys are here, it can't be that bad." I said. "A few fans? Try around a thousand or so." Chris said. "Around a thousand!" I was stunned. "How are they all in the lobby? It's not that big." I said as Josh pointed out the window. "They are not all in the lobby." We rushed over to see the hospital practically under siege "We have to do something," I said, "People who need to get into the hospital can't." "What are we going to do?" James asked, we had begun to walk back to my room to wait, but an idea struck me, I turned around and headed for the elevator. "Bro where are you going?" Justin asked me. "To ask them to go away." I stated. Chris stared at me like I was crazy. "And you think they will just go away with us still in this hospital?" "Yes, once I explain to them that you don't want them to be here because it could endanger people, your fans love you, but I don't think they want to be the cause of people getting hurt." I said, by this time I was back at the elevator. "Wait, Bro, if your going to do this lets do this right. Joey are there any news people down there too?" Justin asked. "Yeah a few why?" "Let's send a body guard down there to tell them we will be sending down a representative form NSYNC with a statement to the public." Justin said. "Sounds like a plan to me." James said. "I second that." Josh said, with a grin. "All those in favor?" I said with a laugh, everyone agreed, after sending one the body guards down stairs we sat on the benches around the room. "So now I am a representative form NSYNC, oh how the mighty have fallen form brother to pee-on. How sad." I said with fake hurt. "Stop you're still our brother, we just added on the pee-on part." Joey said with a laugh. "Thanks a lot, guys." "Remember Sean this was your idea." Josh pointed out. "True, next time I have a great idea someone stop me." I said with a smile. "No way, besides it really is a great idea." Chris said. "I just hope it works." James said. "Hey with my little brother planning it of course it will work." Justin said, giving my shoulder a squeeze. "Thanks, Juju, but now that it's actually going to happen I am a bit scared." I admitted. "You will be fine and I will be there right beside you." Justin said. "What? I thought the idea was to keep you out of harms way." I said. "Normally that would be the idea, but I promised Nick that you wouldn't leave my side until we pick them up at the airport, so you're stuck with me." Justin said. "No one I would rather be stuck with." I said with a smile. "Well Justin if you going down there we all should." Chris said. "Only if you guys agree not to say anything, remember the idea is to get them to go away, you guys are not giving an interview." I said. "Agreed." Joey said, five minutes later the body guard we send down returned to say that everyone would be ready in five minutes. As the minutes started to tick by I was getting more and more nervous. Josh sat down beside me and took my hand, Justin still had his hand on my shoulder. "You're going to do great, Sean." "Yeah, Bro, you will be fine, just go out there and tell them to get out, but in a nice way." Justin said with a laugh. "Alright guys, it's show time." James said, I got up and pushed the button for the elevator, everyone noticed my hand was shaking. "You're going to fine." "I know I can do this." I said trying to put on my own game face. The doors opened, and we piled into the elevator, down to face the hoards and masses of screaming girls. God how did I think this would be a good idea? The doors opened and the crowd went wild, screaming went form mild to hysterical, other than that noise all sounds stopped except the flashing of the cameras. It was like being in the worst thunder storm, ever. I felt the panic take hold, how did I ever think I could do this, I felt my heart start up a mile a minute, my breathing was becoming labored, I thought I was going to faint. Justin took one look at me and started pulling me back over to the elevators. "Justin what the hell are you doing?" James demanded. "Bro, we can stop this right now, just say the word, you don't have to go through with this." Justin pulled me into a tight hug, about then everyone realized I was panicking. I wrapped my arms around him and held on for life, I felt the calming presence form everyone, the crowd seeing the guys crowd around me went silent. "Juju I have to if I can't do this now, I won't ever get over it. The panic attacks will just get worse instead of better." I whispered. "Bro you don't have to push yourself beyond what you're capable of we love you just the way you are, you don't have to do this." Justin said. "Yes I do, and I can do it." I pulled out of the hug and walked to the microphone they had set up, with every step my feet felt as though they were incased in lead. The room was dead silent, I step in front of the microphone and cleared my throat lightly. "May I have you're attention please." Totally unnecessary as all eyes were riveted to me anyway. "NSYNC would like to thank everyone for coming out here to show support for them, but we now must request that you please vacate the hospital property, this is a place for people who need help not for fans to show up screaming and yelling. As much as the guys enjoy you're support they would rather be able to enjoy the hospital in peace. Thank you." I said, I thought it went pretty well, no one said anything. Then chaos reigned supreme. Cameras went off, the fans started screaming a few I think started crying, people started shouting, I was totally overwhelmed. Justin stepped up besides me, giving my shoulder a quick squeeze, and raised his hands for silence. "Please everyone quiet, we will take a few questions, but then as said we would like everyone who doesn't need to be here to have the decency to wait off the hospital property. Everyone that is here that doesn't need to be here, please you're blocking the entrances to the hospital and the emergency room, and people need to be able to get into these areas." Justin said, as the din of noise tapered off. I shot a glance at Justin; he covered the microphone with one hand and turned to me. "Sorry, Bro, but we got to answer at least a few questions, other wise these people are going to be here all night. "Okay Juju." Justin turned back to the microphone and pulled his hand away. "Now let's have a few questions and try to make this as short as possible." Justin said, to the waiting crowd. Hands shot up, I could make out a few, but the bright lights and the constant flashes were really doing a number on my eyes, my headache was getting worse by the second. The guys all gathered around the microphone and started to answer questions, I was feeling a bit forgotten, when a hand settled on my shoulder. I whipped around and about jumped out of my skin, it was Darrell. "You look really pale, Sean, do you want to go upstairs?" Darrell said. "As much as I would, I have been told not to go anywhere with out the guys. So I guess I am stuck here." I said. "If you're sure, personally I think you should be upstairs in bed or something." "Thanks for caring Darrell, but I guess I will be okay; Juju said he wanted to keep this short." "Hey it's all part of the job." He said dismissively. "No it's not," I argued. "You're paid to insure that the guys and I are safe not to actually care." I countered. "Justin told you that you weren't just getting him as a brother right?" I nodded. "That goes for everything, you get the whole NSYNC family, form management, to the crew, and even security, you get us all." Darrell said as I wiped the tears form my eyes. "Thanks Darrell" I whispered as he gave my shoulder a squeeze. Suddenly I was brought back to reality when I caught one of the questions form the reporters. "Who is the representative you sent down, he seams to be someone the group really cares about?" "Sean is NSYNC's little brother and he is the reason we're here." Justin answered. "Is there a last name to go with Sean?" Another reporter asked. "Uh." Justin stalled out, he turned to the rest of the guys, it was comical as there all realized they had no idea what my last name was. I stepped behind Justin and tapped him on the shoulder. "VanGarason." I whispered. "VanGarason." Justin repeated automatically, there was an audible gasp for the reporters, and then one of them spoke. "VanGarason? Any relation to Gregory VanGarason?" I stepped up to the microphone again. "I can answer that question." I said. "Yes I am related to Gregory VanGarason, he is my father." The reporters gasped again. "Does VanGarason Inc. have any interest in NSYNC or there management at Jive Records?" Someone shouted. "VanGarason Inc. has no interest with either at this time. The guys are my friends and adopted brothers, they are visiting my while I am here." I responded. "Again, all we ask is that if you need to be here fine, if not please wait off of the hospital property, so that people who do need to get in here can get the help they need." I stated, my head was pounding I knew my face was red due to all the blood rushing to my head. My eyes unfocused, I felt faint the pain in my head intensified, and the pain in my back doubled. I gave out one gasp of pain and grabbed blindly as I fell forward. I missed, and landed with a thud on the floor of the make shift state. Justin was beside me in a second. "Little brother are you okay?" he was at the edge of panicking himself. "Juju, pain so much pain, it hurts so much." I sobbed. "Sshh, let's get you upstairs" Justin said, he took my hands and started to pull me up, I cried out in pain. I felt strong warm arms wrap around me, lifting me off the ground. "I got him, Justin get the elevator." Josh said as I wrapped my arms around his strong neck. I actually felt safe, still in pain, but safe; my mouth was right by his ear. "Thank you Josh." I whispered. "Sshh, just hold on Sean." Josh whispered back, I stayed in his harms until he sat me down on the bed in the room we were using. Dani was right beside him checking on me. The pain was fading finally. "What happened?" Dani asked Justin and Josh. "Ask me Dani, I was there." I said irritated at being talked about like I wasn't there. "I experienced it and surprisingly enough I am still conscious to talk about it." I added. "Sorry Sean, what happened?" Dani repeated, focusing on me. "My headache was so bad, and all the flashes, screaming, yelling and such just made the pain worse, then my back started throbbing too, the pain was so intense." I said squeezing Justin's hand in mine. "Are you still in pain?" Dani asked. "It's fading now, but it was so bad, my eyes wouldn't focus, and I don't recommend falling onto a make shift stage." I said with just a touch of a smile. Justin had moved so he had his arms around me protectively, holding me close to him. Dani reached into her pocket and produced a pen light. "Look up at me, Sean." She said, and I did, she shined the light in both my eyes. "They look okay to me, but I want to have Dr. Ashter look at them when he gets a chance." She said. "Oh but I wanted to get out of here." I said pouting. "There is no use pouting; you can't leave until Dr. Ashter checks you out." Dani said firmly and I knew I wouldn't win this argument. "I will try to get him here as quickly as I can. For now I would suggest a nap." Dani added, as she made her way to the door. Justin laid back onto the bed, gently pulling me with him. "You heard the nice nurse, time for sleep." Justin said. "Justin what are you doing?" Joey asked as I rolled over and laid my head on his chest, I was facing a blank wall. "Sean has to sleep on his stomach, but he doesn't like it, this way he is not being smothered by the pillow." Justin said as if it perfectly obvious as to what was happening. "Can someone come and sit on this side of the room? I don't want to just stair at a blank wall." I said. Josh and James dragged chairs over to that side and sat down facing me. "Are you okay with this Sean?" James asked me. "James if I weren't Juju wouldn't be doing it, but thanks for asking." I said. "So long as you are okay with it, Sean that is the important part." Josh said. "I guess this explains why you two will be sharing a room together." "Yeah it does." Justin said. I guess I dozed off because the next thing I heard was Justin telling the guys how he wanted me to come on the tour with them. Josh seamed to agree with Justin that for now at least I was not to be left alone at all. Justin told them about his promises to Nick that he wouldn't leave my side until at least Nick and Drew got into town. I was just about to say something when the door opened up again. "Just so you guys know Sean's plan worked, everyone is off of the hospital property. Also Dr. Ashter should be here in about ten minutes so someone should get the joy of waking him. Make sure you cover your ears." Dani said with a laugh as she walked out the door. "Why?" Justin asked the closed door. "Because when I am woken up I tend to scream." I said muffled by Justin's chest. Justin felt me tremble and wrapped his arms around me keeping his hands on or very near my shoulders. "Careful of his back." Josh said, I turned my head slightly so I could see him more clearly. "It's okay Josh; Juju knows where he can and can't put his hands." I said. "Oh, well for the rest of us can you point it out." James said. "Sure, James come here please." James stood up, God he was tall at least to me. "Can everyone see?" I heard the guys gather around. "Where Juju's hands are now is a safe place. The tips of his fingers are just grazing the top edge of the bandages. The other spot is here." I bent my arm behind me grimacing in pain. "James where is your hand?" I asked. I felt his hand rest on mine, I placed it gently on the small of my back, I pressed down on his pinkie. "Feel that?" I asked. "Yeah." "That is the beginning of the bandages so no higher, and anything below your thumb is off limits too." James giggled slightly as his hand moved lover. Justin felt me tense up, he opened his mouth to say something, but I was quicker, letting out a blood curdling scream. "AAAAAAHHHHHHH. I said `DON'T TOUCH ME THERE'" Then the tears started falling. I clung to Justin. "Don't let him hurt me. Please don't hurt me." I sobbed. James hand pulled away form me as I held on to just for dear life. "Bro, call down. I am sure James was just kidding. RIGHT JAMES!" Justin said through barely controlled anger. "I think it best if right now you take off James." Josh said though clenched teeth. "But I." "NOW JAMES." Justin was shaking with anger I was just shaking and crying. "I didn't mean." "James, go back to the hotel, we will talk about this there when everyone has had a chance to calm down." Josh said I heard the door open. "I will go with you James." Joey said. "Me too." Added Chris. "We will see you guys later." Josh said, I hear the door close. I saw Josh step up towards me with his hand out. "Please.don't." I whispered. Josh dropped his hands to his sides; he knelt down by my side. I could see the worry in his eyes. "I.am.sorry." I whispered again. "For what?" he was confused. "It's all my fault." I said Josh shook his head. "No it's not." "Yes it is, if I hadn't put his hands on me and said what I said he wouldn't have done it, so it's all my fault." I said. "I am so stupid, I should know better than to let someone be in a position to hurt me again." I sobbed, my voice tired and broken. "No Sean, It's not your fault at all. It's James' fault you told him not to we all heard you say it. Don't blame yourself." I reached out and touched his face his hand came up and held mine. "And you're not stupid, I can't explain James behavior, but I know he would never actually hurt you." Josh added. "Listen to Josh, Bro, you know he is right. James is the one who should feel badly not you. And Josh is right about James he might have gotten a bit out of hand with his jokes the last two days but I know he would never force himself on you." Justin said I nodded and squeezed Josh's hand in mine and hugged Justin tight with my other arm. I heard the door open again and tensed. "It's just Dani, Bro." "What do you mean `Just Dani'" She said, and then she saw my face and rushed over. Dani whipped a tear from my cheek. "I heard the scream and figured that was just the guys waking you up, Then I saw the rest of the guys leaving, they looked like they were having a fight or something, so I thought I would come check on you guys." Dani said. "Thanks Dani." I said. "So what happened?" "I don't want to talk about it." I said quietly. "Okay we won't talk about it, Dr. Ashter should be here shortly I think he heard the wake up scream." Dani said with a small forced laugh. "Thanks Dani." "So what seems to be the problem?" Dr Ashter said as he walked into the room. I wiggled around so I could sit up and face the doctor. "I don't know, Dr. Ashter, all of a sudden my vision blurred then there was a sharp pain in my back and I fell forward. The pain was so bad, but it's faded since then I barely feel anything besides the normal pain I have in my back." I said. "Well let's check you out." Dr Ashter said, he checked me out totally. "Everything seems to be in order but I think you should stay an extra day for observation. Just to be safe." He said. "What you want me to stay?" I said I don't think it had quite clicked in my head. "Well we can't keep you here but I would recommend it." Dr. Ashter said. "Maybe you should." Justin said. "But Juju, Nicky and Drewby are coming; I don't want to be all alone." I said. "Bro you won't be alone, I will be here right beside you." Justin said. "Umm." Dr. Ashter said. "I really can't allow that, its real family only after visiting hours." Justin saw me frown. "Sean." I stood up and looked Dr. Ashter in the eyes. "Just because Justin isn't a blood relative doesn't mean a thing! Nothing do you hear me. He has shown more respect and love then anyone has shown me most of my life. And if Juju isn't welcome here then I don't want to be here." I shouted. I was shaking in rage. Darrell who had opened the door looked at me in shock. I felt Justin's hand on my arm, I looked at him. "Bro calm down, there is no need to yell." Justin said softly. I felt the anger drain form me I pulled him in a tight hug and cried. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry." Was all I could say. "It's okay Bro, it's okay." Justin said. "Sean I am the one who is sorry." Dr. Ashter said. "You're right, Sean, Justin has shown more love and compassion then I have ever seen in a brother in all my tenure as a doctor. Both of you are welcome to say as long as you nee to." Dr. Ashter added. "Nice speech doctor, but if it's all the same to you I want to leave. My cousins are arriving in a few hours and I will be there." I said. "Very well you are free to leave." Dr. Ashter said sadly. "Don't worry Dr. I will be here tomorrow to have my bandages changed." I said. "And if anything happens we will come right back to the hospital right Bro?" Justin said turning to me. "Right" "Okay you guys have a good night and I will see you both tomorrow. And here." He pulled a card form his jacket and wrote on the back, then gave it to Justin. "That is my cell number, pager number and the number to the hospital, and if anything happens call me." "Thanks Dr. Ashter." Justin said. Dr. Ashter and Dani left. I felt Josh squeeze my shoulder; I had almost forgotten he was there. "Let's go back to the hotel." Josh said. "That sounds like the best idea I have heard in a while." I said. "Well then let's go." Justin said. We got up and left, three body guards in tow, I was hopping I would never have to see that room again. But I knew I would, after all I had to come back tomorrow but for now I was leaving it behind. We got downstairs and got into the SUV, Darrell driving again, Josh sat upfront and Justin and me in the back seat. The other bodyguards got in a matching SUV. We headed for the hotel.