"Get Ready...Tonight...Gonna make this a night [love] to remember."  by Shalamar

My Kinda Guy
A Love To Remember
Chapter -- 7
by JT Poole and Nicole Brown

Jan 2, 05 - Los Angeles, CA -- The Muniz Estates -- Out on the Patio

Justin's POV

Why do I always fall in love with guys that I've just met?  Why do I keep trying to get with these guys that don't want me?  Jesse's cute and all, but he cut things short and left me sitting in the movie all alone the other night.  Some fucking date that was, he just walked out on me, not even a word.  I might as well get drunk, it would solve my problems, would take all my fears and cares away.

Why did I even come here?  Why come to the one man that I've ever loved that has moved on with his life?  Why do I put myself into predicaments like this?  Maybe I should just go back home and never come back here.  I know me being here is driving Aaron crazy.  I know he knows about me and Frankie.  I'm shocked he's okay with me being around here.

"Are you okay Justin?"  Aaron asks me, walking outside to where I was sitting.  "You've been sitting out here for a long time.  The food is here and we're going to watch a movie.  Come on in."

"I'm not hungry right now AC, you go back and start without me," I say to him as he looks down and turns around.  "Justin what's wrong?  You being down like this is hurting Frankie.  Just be straight with me here.  Are you in love with Frankie?"

"What?  Why you asking me that Aaron?"  I ask him.

"I see the way you look at Frankie when you two are around each other and I see how he looks at you.  I see sadness in his eyes when I look at him when he talks about you.  What is it between you two besides friendship?"  He asks me, sitting down across from me.

"When we first started working together, we had a thing, but I fucked it up.  I started drinking and I always did something to fuck up our time together.  After a while he couldn't put up with it so he left me."  I tell him, crying softly now.  "Aaron you don't have to worry, the love is one sided.  I still have feelings for him, but he has no feelings for me besides friendship."

"So wait a minute, what happened between you and Jesse?"  He asks me.

"He was a complete jerk and walked out on me at the movies the other night," I say, looking up to see Jesse standing there with Frankie.

"I didn't mean to walk out on you Justin, I just got scared is all," Jesse says, looking down at the ground.  "When you leaned in and kissed me on the cheek, I got scared is all."

"Why did you get scared?"  I ask him, standing up as Aaron gets up too.

"Come on baby, why don't we let them have some privacy," Frankie says as he smiles at me and grabs Aaron's hand as the two of them walk away.

"I was scared...scared to get hurt again," he says stepping closer to me.

"Getting hurt again?  How was I going to hurt you?"  I ask him, reaching out and holding his hand.

"Don't worry about that now Justin, I'm just sorry that I walked out on you.  Will you give me another chance?"  He asks me, looking down at the ground again.

"Why should I Jesse?"  I ask him, lifting his chin to make him look at me.  "Why should I give you another chance?  Tell me that and we'll see."

"Because I like you Jesse and I know you like me," he says, his hands trembling.  "At least I think you like me."

"I do like you, but walking out on..." I state as he pulls me close and kisses me passionately.  "Mmmm, that was good.  Can I have another one?"

"Yeah you can silly," he says, leaning in and kissing me again.  "I'm really sorry Justin; could you please give me another chance?"

"I guess I can if I keep getting rewards like that," I say to him as we hug and kiss again.

"Thank you Justin," he says, sitting down and pulling me down into his laps.  "I'm glad you are giving me another chance.  I think we can have a wonderful time together.  I'll have to keep in mind that you're not Chris and you're not going to hurt me like he did.  I must learn to give someone else a chance with my heart."

"Chris?  Who's Chris?"  I ask him.

"Chris Trousdale, a member of Dream Street.  We dated for a while until we all decided to go our own separate ways.  When the group broke up, he left me too."  He tells me, looking down as I lean down and kisses him again.

"Well don't worry about that, I'm not Chris, I don't think you have to worry about me breaking up with you," I say as we smile at each other. 

"Well good, I think you're hot and I would very well like a chance at being with you," he says as I feel something poke me in my ass, causing me to jump up out of his lap.  "Sorry, my body got carried away with things."

"That's okay cutie," I say, smiling at him as he stands up next to me.  "Why don't we go tell those two about us?"

"I guess we can do that," he says, grabbing my hand and entwining our fingers together.

Orlando, FL -- Kevin and JT's House - Later that Afternoon

Lydia's POV

Today was a complete bust.  We were supposed to have gone to church together, but Craig was stuck dealing with the police because of Brian.  I don't know what the hell's wrong with these celebrity men!  Going around acting like they can do whatever the fuck they want and not have to pay the consequences.  Five fucking hours dealing with the police and the bitch didn't even say thank you.  Now that I think about it, I'm glad Nikki beat his ass.  The way I feel right now, I should go put my foot in his ass, that'll teach him to go around attacking young men.  Lawd, now I know why J was always stressed with these men.

"Baby are you okay?"  Craig asks me, sitting down next to me.

"I'm fine C, I'm just a lil bit angry right now," I say, rubbing my temples.

"You're upset that we didn't get to go to church today aren't you?"  He asks me, looking down at me.

"Well I am, but I know you had to deal with work related stuff," I say, getting up and walking around the room.  "What the hell is wrong with Brian?"

"I don't know baby.  That's something I can't answer for you," he says, walking behind me and placing a kiss on my neck.

"Why would he do something like that?  He's a damn celebrity.  I'm sure he could have found someone that wanted to be with his natty ass," I say, turning around in his arms, kissing him.

"I don't know what was going through his mind when he cornered the guy at the airport.  He acted like everything was alright, he'll we didn't know he had actually done something until we got the report on the plane, and then he denied doing anything."  He states, pulling me down to sit in his lap.

"So what did J and Johnny have to say about this?"  I ask him.

"Well I don't think JT knows yet and Johnny was...well Johnny was pissed off royally," he says, rubbing my back.  "Johnny is a little bit miffed that Kevin quit and AJ isn't here."

"AJ isn't here?  Where is he?"  I ask him.

"No one knows.  Nobody can reach him.  Haven't been able to reach him for days Johnny said," he says as I get up.

"You think it has something to do with Kevin quitting?"  I ask him.

"I don't think so.  Kevin was mad when we got on the plane in New York," he says to me as the phone rings.  "Oh great, I bet that's Johnny or someone at the police station."

"Well I'll answer it."  I tell him, getting up and walking over to the phone.  "Hello?"

"Hey girl what's up?"  JT asks me, sounding very chipper.

"Hey bro how are you doing?"  I ask him, walking back over to Craig and sitting in his lap.  "I was just thinking about you.  Scary..."

"Oh really?  What you thinking about me for?"  He asks me.

"Oh just talking about that damn Brian, but enough about that.  How are things with you?"  I ask him.

"I'm doing okay.  I'm just calling to let you know that Kevin and me won't be coming back to Orlando today, we're going to Lexington instead," he says.

"Lexington?  What are you going there for?"  I ask him.

"Well Kev wants to go visit some of his family.  Once we do that, we'll head to Orlando."  He tells me.

"Well what brought on that change of scene?"  I ask him.

"Well Kevin's being a big baby and doesn't want to go back yet.  So we're taking the time to go visit his mom and brother."  He tells me.

"Well okay.  I guess we can shut this place down and go on about our business then," I say.

"I guess you can Lydie.  I'm sorry for wasting your time."  He tells me.

"It's okay bro.  I'll see you when you two get back to town," I say, smiling.  "You tell that husband of yours to stop being a big baby."

"I will sis.  I love you.  Bye now," he says as I start laughing.

"I love you too.  Have fun with the in laws," I say, hanging up the phone.  "I guess we can go to our place now that they're not coming here."

"Hmmmm, I guess we can then.  Come on babe, let's jet on over to the Anderson joint," he says, kissing me on the cheek and pulling me towards the foyer.  "Turn this stuff off and let's roll."

"Someone's very hot and bothered I see," I say, patting him between the legs as he backs up a little and kisses me again.

"Don't do that, we might not make it home."  He tells me, grabbing my ass playfully and ushering me towards the door.

Jan 5, 2005 - Los Angeles, CA -- UCLA Medical Center

"Good morning baby, how are you feeling?"  Chris asks, walking into the room to see the doctor and nurse there too.  "Do I need to step back outside?"

"You're fine Mr. Kirkpatrick.  We're almost done here."  The doctor says, placing AJ's chart at the foot of the bed.  "If everything checks out in tip top shape, you can go home later today or tomorrow morning at the earliest."

"About time, I'm ready to get out of this place doc."  AJ tells him, as Chris walks over and sits in the chair next to the bed, automatically holding AJ's hand.

"Well if the doctor thinks you're well enough you might get to leave soon.  Just calm down baby and don't over exert yourself."  Chris says, rubbing the top of AJ's hand soothingly.

"Enough about me, how are you doing today?  Did you go back to the hotel and sleep like I told you too?"  AJ asks Chris, rubbing his hand back.

"Yeah I went back and got some rest, I just couldn't sleep well without my pookey po next to me."  Chris answers him, leaning his head on the side of the bed.  "I think if I chill out right here next to you for a bit, I can catch up on some real sleep."

"Oh that's so sweet baby.  I've really enjoyed having you here with me the last few days," AJ says, turning and placing a kiss on Chris' cheek.

"I've enjoyed it too, but it could have been on better circumstances baby."  Chris tells him, kissing the top of his hand.  "I called Johnny this morning and told him where you were and what was going on.  He said for you to take what time you need to get better.  With the way things are going, he said the others are not in a position to get back to touring yet.  It's something about Kevin not being available."

"Is something else wrong?  Did something else happen to someone?"  AJ asks, a scared looking crossing his face.

"I don't know.  Johnny didn't go into detail about anything.  I tried calling Justin and Nick, but I haven't been able to reach other of them.  So I don't know what else could be wrong."  Chris tells him, adjusting his head next to AJ's pillow.

"I'm sure someone will contact us and tell us what's going on, but I would rather be back in Orlando to see for myself."  AJ states as the doctor walks back into the room.

"Hello again Mr. McLean, how are you feeling now?"  The doctor asks him.

"As well as I'm going to get in here doc.  Do I get to go home?"  AJ asks the man.

"Right now after looking at everything, I don't see why you can't.  A nurse will be in to start the discharge process."  The doctor tells him as he starts smiling.

"Oh thank you doctor.  Nothing against you or nothing, I just don't like hospitals," AJ says, sitting up in the bed as Chris sits up too.

"You take it easy Mr. McLean and Mr. Kirkpatrick, make sure he takes things easy for a while," the doctor says, smiling at both men, shaking their hands.  "The both of you have a good afternoon."

"See baby things are working out.  You get to go home."  Chris speaks up, rubbing his eyes.  "I'm going to collect all of your stuff and take it out to the jeep."

"Okay baby, hurry back." AJ states, kissing Chris quickly as he gets up and starts moving around the room.

Lexington, KY -- Ann Richardson's House -- The Backyard


This is starting out to be a lovely day.  The sun is shining and the clouds are all gone compared to yesterday, with just a little bit of wind blowing.  I can actually say I feel refreshed after my wonderful sleep.  I can't say that for Kevin on the other hand.  I know he's a little bit annoyed at the argument we had last night and how things are turning out between him and Nick.  Those two are going to make up if I have to beat both of them with a stick and tie them up in the same damn room.  Hmmm, sounds like a good idea.  They are sexually attracted to each other; I might as well lock them in the same room and let them work it out.  Then again, Kevin might like that stuff too much.  But it might just fix all of this craziness.

"Hello JT, what you out here doing?"  Jerald, Kevin's brother asks me, walking over and sitting down in the patio chair next to me.

"Just resting up and enjoying the weather."  I tell him as he adjusts the chair and sits back.

"How are things going with you and my brother?"  He asks me, as I take a sip of my lemonade and place the glass back on the table.

"Things are good.  Why wouldn't they be?"  I ask him, wondering if Kevin had told him something was wrong.  "The last time I checked, things were fine between the two of us."

"Why is he moping around the house then?  It's not like him to be like that.  So since you're out here and he's in there, I thought something was wrong between the two of you."  He tells me as I sit up and look at him.

"He's in there moping around because he's mad at Nick," I say, pointing towards the house.  "He's also upset because I told him he had to go back to Orlando and apologize for what he did."

"So he's mad with you too?"  He asks me.

"If he is, I really don't care and you know this man," I say, taking another sip of my lemonade, tipping the top of my shades down so he could see my eyes.  "I'm going to rest and relax for a bit.  This is a problem between him and Nick.  Those two are the only ones that can fix that.  Me and Justin both agreed that we wouldn't interfere with them, that we would hang back and watch and that's exactly what I'm going to do Jerald."

"Come on JT, you see this is hurting him."  Jerald says pointing at Kevin standing in the doorway.

"He knows what he needs to do Jerald, Tim told him this very same thing yesterday.  I'm doing what the doc, Ann and Tim told me to do.  I'm sitting out here resting and relaxing," I say as Jerald shakes his head.

"I guess you have a point there JT.  But I'm tired of him whining, he's starting to sound like a broken record."  He tells me, laughing a little bit.

"Do like I do, smack him on his ass and skip the needle to the next groove," I say, looking over the top of my shades at Jerald as he made a face at me and then started laughing.

"No thank you, I'll leave the booty smacking up to you and him.  I'll stick with the ladies on that one."  He tells me, laying back again.

"Oh well, you don't know what you're missing," I say as I start laughing.

"I'll just have to miss it."  He tells me as we hear the door open and Kevin walks outside and stands in front of me.

"Baby are you talking about me again?"  He asks me, pouting at me, that pout that always makes me give in to what he wants.

"Why?  Are you going to make me stop?"  I ask him.

"Ooooo, them sound like fighting words Kev," Jerald says, shaking his hands a little bit in a joking matter.

"You know Cletus ain't gon do nothing," I say, smirking at Kevin as he cracks a smile at me.

"Do you know what I'm going to do Hercules?"  He asks, Jerald looking between the two of us like he was missing something.

"I don't get it.  What're you two talking about?  Who's Cletus?  And what does Hercules have to do with this?"  Jerald asks, looking back and forth between me and Kevin.

"Lawd help him Jesus," I say, looking at him as though he was kidding.  "You are kidding right?"

"Who are you talking about?"  He asks me, shrugging his shoulders.

"Kevin he best be joking.  Tell me he's joking.  He doesn't know who Cletus and Hercules is?"  I ask him, looking at his brother as though he had grown an extra arm or something.

"Why don't you go ask one of your children, I'm sure they will tell you who those people are.  Get gone; I want to spend some time with my baby."  Kevin tells him as Jerald gets up and he sits down in the chair.  "Sometimes I wonder about people baby."

"Maybe he's not a fan of Eddie Murphy," I say laughing as Kevin gets up, pushes the lounge chair closer to mine and sits down.

"Maybe he's not, but that's not the reason I'm here.  I missed you this morning.  Why didn't you wake me up when you got up?"  He asks me.

"You looked so cute; I didn't want to mess up that picture."  I tell him as I lean in and kiss him.  "Hell it was the only time you were quiet and not whining."

"Well I wanted to wake up with you in my arms baby.  I didn't like Junior's bear in my arms," he says in that whiny tone.  "And I haven't been whining all the time."

"Actually it was Levi's bear that I put in your arms and you have been whining since we've been here."  I tell him as he looks at me strange.

"How do you know it was Levi's bear?"  He asks me.

"Levi came to wake me up this morning.  He wanted to make sure I was alright so to speak."  I tell him, smiling.

"What did I miss?  What happened between you and him?"  He asks me.

"Someone told him I sometimes wear my heart on my sleeve so he came to wake me up so he could see the shirt that had my heart on the sleeve," I say as Kevin widened his eyes.

"You joking right?"  He asks me, smiling.

"No I'm not joking.  He came and crawled into bed with me and asked me could he see the shirt with the heart on the sleeve.  I started laughing.  It was the funniest thing I'd ever heard."  I tell him laughing.  "He was so mad when I told him I didn't have a shirt like that that he went and kicked Tim on the leg."

"So Tim must have been the one that said it," He says, smiling as we look over to the door to see Junior and Levi running outside.

"Uncle Kevin, uncle Kevin it's the phone," Levi says, handing Kevin the phone.

"Thank you lil man.  Hello?"  Kevin says into the phone.

Orlando, FL -- Florida Hospital -- JC's ICU Room

Justin's POV

I've been here back and forth to this crazy hospital for the last few days and he's been out like a light.  They say he's alive, but they just can't explain why he was in the comatose state when they brought him in and why he's sleeping heavily now.  Why God, why did he do this to himself?  Why would he want to hurt himself like this in the first place?  This has something to do with Joey and Nikki, I know it does.  Where the hell is he any damn way?  He should be here with Josh right now, not off doing whatever the hell it is he's doing.  If I find out he's with her and not here with him, I'm going to do my best to beat his fucking ass.  I've called and left message after message and I haven't heard from him yet, not since before we fucking left New York.  Something's not right here and it's time that we get to the bottom of things.

"Come on Josh wake up.  I need you here man," I say to him, holding his hand.  "Why did you do this to yourself?"

"J-Justin?  Where am I?"  He asks me as he turns to look at me.

"You're in the hospital man..."  I tell him as he starts speaking again.

"What am I doing here?  I'm supposed to be dead," He says, as I look at him and start crying again.

"Don't say that Josh.  You're not supposed to be dead?"  I ask him, holding his hand.

"Just leave me alone Juju, you shouldn't be here."  He tells me, looking down at his arms and pulling his hands away from me and pulling at the IV tubes

"Josh stop!  Don't do that!"  I shout, as I run to the door to get the nurse.  "Nurse!"

"Leave me alone Juju!  I don't want to live!"  He shouts at me, struggling with the heart monitor wires on his chest.

"What's going on in here?"  The nurse asks, pressing a button on the wall, calling for assistance.

"He woke up and started freaking out," I say as an orderly and a doctor rush into the room.

30 Minutes Later

After the doctor and nurse had finished working on Josh and the orderly had restrained his arms, the reality of everything going on hit me, hit me hard again.  Why was Josh doing this to himself?  Was he depressed?  Did something happen that none of us knew about?  What is going on with him to cause him not to want to live any longer?

"No Josh, no...please talk to me."  I tell him, grabbing his hand again.  "Tell me why you did this."

"You wouldn't understand.  Just go back to your life with Nick and leave me alone damnit!"  He shouts, coughing as started to cry.

"I'm not leaving here Josh, not until you talk to me.  Tell me why you did this, what possessed you to do this?"  I ask him as he wouldn't face me.  "Come on Josh...why?  Does this have anything to do with why Joe isn't here?"

"Just go away Curly.  I don't want to talk right now!"  He shouts at me as the nurse walks back into the room.

"I'm sorry Mr. Timberlake; you'll have to leave now.  We can't have you upsetting the patient more."  The nurse tells me, pushing me towards the door.

"I'm not trying to upset him; I'm only trying to find out what's wrong with him."  I tell the woman as she pushes me out into the hall and closes the door on me.  "Damn it."

Getting mad with the woman, I look back and she starts to close the drapes in the room.  Figuring out that I won't get to talk to him again, I walk down the hall to the elevator.  Stepping into the elevator, I pull my cell phone out and try calling Joey again.

"Hello Joe, this is Justin again.  I don't know what's going on, but this is like the fifth time I've called you and left a message.  Your husband is in the hospital here in Orlando and I'm sure it would be nice if you could make an appearance.  Damn, did you leave him or something?  Is that why he tried to kill himself?  What's going on with you two?  I wish someone could give me some damn answers.  Please call me Joe.  Bye."  I say, leaving yet another voice mail message for him.

Brian's Hotel Room

"What the hell!  Who could this be now?  I'm tired of talking to people today, I've had enough," Brian says, getting up and walking over to the door.  "Can I help you?"

"Hello Brian," Craig says as he walks into the room with Brian shadowed by two Orlando Police Officers.  "They are here to take you into custody Brian."

"Take me into custody for what?"  Brian asks, stepping back towards the wall as the police officers walk around Craig towards him.

"Mr. Littrell we have a warrant for your arrest," the first officer says, pulling out his handcuffs and walking over to Brian.  "Mr. Littrell you have the right to remain silent.  Anything you say or do could be held against you in a court of law..."

"Craig you can't let them take me!"  Brian shouts as Craig steps back and let the officers do their job.

"As I was saying sir, you have a right to an attorney present.  If you refuse that right, one will be appointed to you..."

"Call my lawyers!  Call Jive's lawyers!  Call somebody!"  Brian shouts as the second police officer shakes his head at Brian.

Justin and Nick's House

Nick's POV

I don't know what to do anymore.  Damn, I was only trying to get us back on track and now with my stupid actions with Kevin, I've put us farther behind.  I thought I was doing things to help us, not cause more problems for us.  How in the hell am I going to fix this?  Both Justin and Kevin are mad with me, and I'm sure JT's just as angry as they are.  I have to fix this somehow, but I don't know what to do about it. 

"What can I do to get Kevin to trust me again?"  I say aloud as Justin walks into the house.

"You can start by apologizing him to baby," Justin says, walking over to me and hugging me tight.

"What happened at the hospital baby?"  I ask him.

"He woke up and tried to kill himself again baby.  He's really really depressed and suicidal.  I don't know what to do right now.  I went over to see Karen and Roy and told them about this, but Karen's just too scared to go back to the hospital to talk to him again."

"Why?"  I ask him.

"When he was in the coma and she talked to him, his heart stopped beating, it was like her being in the room, was causing him to let go even more."  He tells me, looking down as he pulls away and walks over to the window.  "He doesn't want to live and I think it has something to do with Joey and the way he and Nikki have been acting lately."

"So you really think Joey and Nikki are fooling around?"  I ask him.

"They have to be for Josh to be acting like this.  You know they have to be doing something together for Josh to want to kill himself.  I've been trying to call Joey for the last couple of days and I haven't been able to get in touch with him," he says, frowning.  "He was down and depressed when Joey went to go visit her and the babies for Thanksgiving.  Josh was a total wreck then, and he's worse now."

"I don't think Joey would cheat on JC to be with Nikki.  He loves JC and you know that.  There has to be another reason baby and you know that."  I tell him.

"No baby, Joey is cheating with Nikki.  That's why Josh is like this.  He knows Joey doesn't love him no more!"  He screams at me as the doorbell rings.  "I'll get the door."

"Oh yeah this is starting to be a real good new year already."  I say as Justin walks back into the room with Faith Evans following behind him.

"Nicky, this is Faith Evans," Justin says, introducing me to her as I walk over and shake her hand.

"Nice to meet you Ms. Evans," I say to her as she looks at me and then back at Justin.  "What brings you here today?"

"Justin and I need to work on some vocals for his movie," she says, looking at Justin smiling. 

"Oh...okay then.  I'll leave you two to it," I say, smiling at them as I walk into the kitchen.

A Few Minutes Later -- The In House Studio

"I was shocked when I heard you and him had come out," Faith says, walking around Justin, running a finger over his shoulder.

"Why were you shocked?"  Justin asks her, sitting down at the audio board and flipping a few controls.

"I just was is all," She says in reply.  "I always thought of you as a lady's man.  Too bad you like boys, cause I'd love to play with your... toys."

"My toys?"  Justin asks, looking at her with wide eyes.  "What toys?"

"These toys," Faith says, looking down and groping Justin's ass.  "You shake it so well on stage when you're performing.  You know you're every young girl's dream come true."

"I guess," Justin says, looking down nervously.

"You know when you came out the way you did, you broke a lot of hearts, but the fans still love you,"  Faith says, sitting next to Justin as Nick walks past the door.

Howie and Nikki's Orlando Home

 "Hey Tony! A little help here please?" Nikki called from the bathroom, where the sounds of splashing could be heard all over the house.

When Joey came to the door, he couldn't help laughing at the sight before him. Nikki was on her knees next to the tub trying to corral the twins so that she could soap them down. So far it had worked with CJ, but Joshua obviously wasn't having any parts of it based on the amount of water on the floor... and on Nikki. When she heard laughter, Nikki turned to the door with an impatient frown, which turned to threatened laughter.

"Don't just stand there silly! Help me get him clean!" she said, dodging another wave as Joshua slapped the water. "All right Joshua, that's enough! No more splashing Mommy!"

"Let me help," Joey said, kneeling beside her and grabbing his slippery son. "Come on little man... time to get washed up."

He made quick work of getting him washed up while Nikki took CJ into the bedroom to get him ready for bed. He felt his phone vibrate, but chose to ignore it while he got his son out of the tub and took him into the bedroom where his brother was now clean and dressed in Mickey Mouse pajamas.

"Where are his PJ's?" Joey asked.

Nikki picked up a pair of Goofy pajamas and handed them to him. He dried Joshua off, lotioned him down and got him dressed in the pajamas in record time. Once the boys were both ready, Nikki knelt beside their beds, while CJ and Joshua both got on their knees beside her, bowing their heads. Once they were settled, she began to pray softly with them.

Now I lay me down to sleep.

I pray the Lord my soul to keep.

If I should die before I wake.

I pray the Lord my soul will take.

"Bless Mommy and Daddy, and Daddy Tony, Grandma Phyllis and Grandpa Joe. Uncle Carmine and Aunt Rosie," Nikki said, waiting while the boys said their own special versions of the names. When they were done, they all said, "amen" and the boys climbed onto the bed, reaching for her. Nikki kissed each boy, tickling them gently before she moved so that Joey could kiss them too.

"Ni, ni Dada," CJ said as he kissed Joey's cheek. Joey smiled at his son, kissing him again before he joined Nikki at the door.

"I love watching you with them," Joey said as he walked down the hall arm in arm with Nikki. She smiled up at him, but her eyes were troubled.

"Have you heard from your Mom yet?" she asked as they went into the bedroom where Howie was watching TV.

"No I haven't, but my phone has been ringing like crazy today. Maybe it was her," he replied as he flipped his phone open and dialed his voicemail. Nikki disappeared into the bathroom, emerging a few minutes later wearing dry clothes.

"Those two little monsters are going to...Tony, what's wrong?" she asked when she saw the look of horror on Joey's face. "Did something happen to Phyllis? Talk to me!"

"I-it's Josh," Joey stated, his eyes filling with tears as he looked around for clothes to put on. Finding none, he goes back to the door, pausing long enough to explain, "Justin found him at the house. He tried to commit suicide!"

"Oh God! No!" Nikki cried, grabbing her coat and Howie's car keys as Joey hurries to his room to get something to wear. "D, are you coming with us or are you staying here with the boys?"

"I'm coming with," Howie replied, opening his phone. "I'll call my Mom to come stay with the boys. You just go help Joey."

"Okay," Nikki said, kissing him quickly and then going down the hall to Joey's bedroom. "Tony? Are you ready?"

"Yeah," he replied softly, sitting on the bed staring out the window.

"Then let's go," Nikki stated, taking his hand in hers and heading back out into the hall. Howie met them at the top of the stairs, kissing both of them as they headed downstairs.

"Mom and Polly are on their way. We can leave as soon as they get here," Howie explained, putting an arm around Joey's waist. "He's gonna be okay."

"I hope so," Joey said as the doorbell rang. Polly and Paula Dorough came inside, kissing Nikki. If they were shocked to see Joey there, it did not show as they both greeted him.

"We'll call as soon as we can," Nikki stated over her shoulder as the three of them hurried towards the rental car and drove off into the night.

Back at Florida Hospital


Why can't people just leave me alone?  Can't they see I don't want to be bothered by any of them?  I just want to just be by myself.  I don't want to see or hear anyone anymore.  It's so simple really; they should just leave me alone.  I'll be alright when they get that big picture.  I so don't know why Justin got mom and dad involved.  They didn't need to come here to see me like this.  Mom doesn't deserve to see this again.  She doesn't need any more reminders that I've disappointed her again.  She deserves to have a son she can be proud of, a song that is better than me.  Maybe she'll pay more attention to Tyler and Heather now that I'm almost gone.

"Good afternoon Mr. Chasez, how are you feeling?"  A young woman asks, walking into the room, standing in front of the bed with a clipboard in her hands.

"Please just go, just leave me alone.  I don't feel like talking to anyone," I say, turning away from here.

"Well sorry Mr. Chasez, that's not an option right now.  We need to talk so that we can determine a plan to get you better."  The woman tells me as I try to ignore her.

"Look lady, I already said I didn't want to talk.  Take a hint and just go!"  I yell at her as she steps back away from the bed.

"Okay Mr. Chasez.  I'll leave, but I will return later," she says, patting my leg as she leaves the room.



I don't know any of the members of N SYNC, Backstreet Boys or any other celebrities mentioned.  I don't know anything about their sexual orientation or the orientation of any other celebrities in this story (even though I wish some of them were gay).  This story is fiction and you shouldn't take it for anything else but that.  This is for entertainment value only folks.