I would like to send out a big thanks to all the people that have e-mailed me about my story, and helped me keep my sanity... Thanks all; I greatly appreciate the feedback. A major MAHALO goes out to Jason, Michael, Timberbabe, Tonny, Kevin, Matt, Kenny, and all the others that have e-mailed me with feedback. Without you guys, I would not be continuing this story, so THANK YOU! Also, a huge thank you goes out to David. Thanks for your advice and for providing this service for all of us. If anyone out there has comments, suggestions, or actually reads this story, please let me know and e-mail me. I love getting e-mail, and I am really good about replying, and carrying out with requests...
Disclaimer: If you are not allowed to read this, don't. If you don't want to read about a homosexual relationship, go elsewhere. This work may contain gay sex! This is a work of FICTION. I do not make any claims on the sexuality of *N SYNC especially of Lance Bass. I also do not make any claims to know the guys' relationships with each other, or with their families. I also don't know the past histories about the guys, as this part has some pure speculation on my part. Permission is granted to post this anywhere as long as no one has to pay to view it. Just tell me where it is being posted. Copyright 2000 by LanceFan2001.
Oh and Lance, if you actually read this, drop me a line... it will be our little secret!
My Lance Part 7: Secrets and Lies
Last time on My Lance:
I had just settled down into bed, when I heard shouting from next door. After I heard what Lance said, I just broke down, and started crying. "So, that's all I am to him, a fucking conquest that will be tossed aside. Fuck, I thought he loved me," I thought as I jumped out of bed, picked up my bag, and ran out the door.... Just in time to run into Lance.
And now, Part 7 begins here...
In Justin's Room
"Joey, what the fuck was that?" Justin asked angrily.
"What? It's true. It's what you were all thinking," Joey answered in the same tone.
"No, it's not what we were all thinking," Chris shouted, "I was thinking that Steve seemed like a cool guy, and that it's good that we have our Scoop back."
"Yeah Joey," JC shouted, "What the fuck were you thinking? For once in a long time, Scoop seemed happy. He was opening up, and more importantly, he wasn't being distant."
"Aren't you even concerned that you have been on the bus for the past three years with a fucking faggot?" Joey replied.
"No," Justin screamed, "He's the same old Scoop. He is the same person that we have known for those three years. And when he comes around and gets out of his slump, you go and push him away! What the fuck is wrong with you Joey?"
"And who says Lance is gay?" JC added, "He didn't tell us that. It seems to me that Steve is just a good friend. And from what just happened here, it appears that he's a better friend than you!"
"Fuck this! You guys are blind. This will ruin us." Joey
yelled as he stormed out of the room and slammed the door.
In the hallway
Lance stood in the doorway, blocking my exit, but I stormed past him, pushing him to the ground. I did not want to talk to him, not after what he had just pulled next door. I was not gonna take any shit from anyone, even if it is some world famous hottie. My parents abandoned me, turned their back on me, and yes I did feel pain then, but I thought I had gotten over it. With what Lance had said next door, I felt those abandonment issues rise into my soul, and bring tears to my eyes.
"Steve," Lance called out as he got up, obviously shaken, "Wait. What's wrong?"
"What's wrong he asks," I said, my words coated in ice, "As if you don't know."
"I don't know," Lance pleaded, "Please tell me, what did I do?"
"What did you do? What did you do?" I shouted wildly, "First, you tell me that you love me, and then you tell your friends that I'm 'just a fucking friend!'"
By this point, I had opened the door to the stairwell, and started running down the stairs. As I ran, tears streamed down my face.
"I'm sorry Steve, I'm so sorry," Lance sobbed, "I didn't mean it that way."
"Well, what the fuck did you mean?" I screamed back. "Did you mean that I was your little fuck toy? Did you mean that you enjoyed playing with my emotions?"
"Steve," Lance cried, "I am sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. I just wasn't ready to tell the guys. I wasn't ready to admit it to myself. They don't know that I'm ... I'm..."
"What Lance?" I spoke coldly as I stopped and glared onto his eyes, "That you are a lying, manipulative asshole that likes to take advantage of unsuspecting strangers that you meet?"
"No," Lance said softly, as tears dripped down his face, "That I'm... I'm... I'm gay."
"Well fun-fucking-tastic. I am glad that you have come to terms with your sexuality. I am sure that you have a multitude of gay fans that would love to get a piece of your cock."
"But I don't want them," Lance said, as he walked down the steps to where I was, and returned my gaze with warm eyes, "I want you."
With that comment, I lost it. I crumbled into a sobbing heap on the stairwell. I cried on those cold concrete steps, looked down on the ground, and rocked back and forth. Lance approached me from behind. He placed his arm around me and softly said, "I'm sorry Steve. I didn't mean to hurt you. I wasn't ready to tell the rest of the guys about us. I wasn't prepared for Joey's question. I just reacted. I am sorry you had to hear that."
Lance then stood up and walked down a few stairs. He stood directly in front of me, and crouched down so that our heads were at the same level. He placed his hand under my chin and forced me to look into his eyes. "Steve," he said, "I have only known you for two days, and I can't explain the feelings that I have for you. It can only be described as one thing, love. Steve, I love you. I am sorry if I have hurt you. Please come back to my room, and we can talk about this... Please..."
I looked at Lance's tear stained face. His eyes were puffy and red, but within those deep, green eyes, I could sense something more, it was as if I could peer into his soul. Those eyes, ohhhh, those eyes... How could I resist those eyes? I could see that they were filled with concern, with sincerity, and most of all, I could see that they were filled with love. It was the same look of love that I saw in the hospital last night.
I nodded my head, and Lance took my hand to help me up.
He took my overnight bag from me, and we walked back up the stairs to his
In Justin's Room
"What the fuck is up with Joey," JC asked, as he looked at Chris.
"I don't know. I have never seen him like this," Chris said.
"Forget Joey," Justin said, "What about Scoop?"
"Yeah, what about Scoop," Chris said, "He took that really defensively. I wonder if there really is something he's not telling us."
"Well, what ever it is, it seems that it has been bugging him for a long time," JC said, "But I don't think that we should go badger him about it. Knowing Scoop, he'll tell us when he thinks it all through."
"So, what do we do now?" Chris asked.
"I say we wait. Let them cool off for a bit, and then go talk to them," JC said.
"Ok, I'll talk to Joey," Chris said.
"And I'll talk to Lance," Justin said.
With that, Chris, JC and Justin parted ways to do some thinking,
as well as rest up for the confrontations ahead.
In Lance's Room
Lance and I sat on the sofa and stared at each other in absolute quiet. Not a word was said, but we both had quite a bit of thinking to do. I couldn't believe what an emotional roller coaster the past two days had been. Here I was, sitting next to Lance Bass, world famous singer, who had just professed his love for me. I really didn't know what to think. At one end, here was this awesome guy, someone that I had talked to, shared things with, someone that had given me my first blow job and saved my life not once, but twice. That was my Lance. At the other end, was this other Lance, someone I didn't yet know, the `N SYNC Lance. It was with this Lance that I was upset with, for he was the Lance that had renounced his love for me. I didn't like that Lance very much.
I looked at Lance as he looked at me. He was such a beautiful person. From the bottom of his feet to the top of his blond tipped, spiky hair, he was perfect. I didn't notice it before, but he had changed from what he was wearing earlier. The white T-shirt he wore was taunt against his pectorals and abdomen. It was tucked into a pair of black gym shorts that were able to show off Lance's incredibly athletic legs. His held his hands together against the front of his face. The features on his face were one of a man lost in thought. There were a few wrinkles on his forehead, as well as a few misplaced strands of his blond hair.
"So," he said, "Where do we go from here?"
I broke out of my trance, and looked deep into his loving eyes. "His eyes, why do I always look into his eyes?" I asked myself. "I don't know Lance," I answered softly.
"I know one thing for sure," he said, "I need to tell the guys right away. I can't keep this a secret any longer."
"Lance, I am not asking you to do that," I replied, "I am sorry for running out like that. I wasn't thinking straight. I thought that this was too good to be true. When my parents kicked me out of the house, I thought that I would never be loved again. I mean, my parents and I were never close, but my world was still devastated. I figured that if my parents couldn't love me, no one could. I have never been in a serious relationship. In high school, I was too busy being a self-destructive overachiever. After I got kicked out of the house, I dated people, but would always push the other person away. I just don't want to be hurt anymore..." Tears had started flowing down my face again, as the memories of loneliness entered my mind.
Lance brought me into hug, but I broke it. I had to say what I was about to say.
"Lance," I continued, "I come with a lot of baggage. I need to warn you of that right off the bat. And, no, I don't expect you to come out to your bandmates. I am not asking for that."
"Steve, I don't care that you have baggage. We all have baggage, but I think that I am prepared to carry yours, just as long as you carry mine as well. And I know that you're not asking me to come out to the guys, but it's something that I need to do. It's something that I have needed to do for a while. I need to come clean to them," Lance explained. "I am not doing this for them. I am doing this for my own sanity. I am tired of hiding. I am tired of not being true to myself. And I know that I will still have to be Lance from 'N SYNC to the public, but I need to be myself around these guys."
"Ok," I said, "As long as you are sure that you want to do this."
Lance and I hugged each other tightly. His body was warm, so warm, so welcoming. I wished that I never had to let go. Although my confidence in this relationship was shaken, I felt safe in those arms. For once in my life, I actually felt safe... and I didn't feel alone anymore.
"So, where do we go from here?" Lance asked.
"We go where ever this takes us," I answered.
"It sounds like a plan," he said as he broke our embrace.
Lance stood up, his hand clasped over mine. "Sleep with me," he said.
"I wouldn't have it any other way."
I stood up, and Lance escorted me to his bedroom. We slipped onto his bed, both of us laid on our sides, facing each other, with our elbows propping our heads up.
"Mr. Bass," I softly said, as I gazed into his eyes, "I think I love you."
"Mr. Nakayama," Lance replied, his eyes filled with passion, "I think I love you too. Let's take this slow... I mean, I really want to get to know you. I know that I have said it before, but I mean it, I am leaving Hawaii in four days, and I want to get to know you a lot more."
"And I would like nothing more than to be with you," I said.
With those words, I leaned in to Lance's face. I didn't have to lean in too far, for he had met me half way. The kiss that followed cannot be described by words. Yes, it was passionate, but the emotions that were in that kiss: Love that had been won and lost and won again; Feelings that had been pent up inside of our beings for an eternity; A burning desire to caress the other, feel the other, be one with the other. It was a beautiful kiss, a kiss that caused a certain electricity between the two people who shared it. It was a kiss of loneliness being ended, a kiss of love being found...
Lance and I explored each other's mouths with our tongues.
This led to the further exploration of each other's bodies. We caressed
each other, as if exploring undiscovered territory. I ran my fingers
through his hair, over his shoulders, and let them rest as they came around
his back. Lance let his arms rest in a similar position. We
fell asleep like that, in each other's arms. No further words were
spoken, but none were needed. Lance and I shared one last kiss, and
that kiss spoke volumes.
In Joey's Room
Joey Fatone opened the door to his room, and after entering, promptly slammed it shut. Tears were streaming down his face as he leaned against the door and slowly crumpled into a heap on the floor.
"Why did I just do that?" Joey asked himself. "I don't know why I just went off on Lance like that. I didn't mean to do that. And then, why did I go off on the guys like that? What was I thinking? What's wrong with me? What the fuck is wrong with me?"
The tears continued pouring. By now, a large damp spot had appeared
on the carpet. Sleep soon overtook Joey. It would be a restless
sleep, a sleep that would not give him rest, but bring things that were
once safely buried into light.
Joey was taken back to a day about four months ago, back home in Orlando. It was a few weeks before the next tour would start, and no one else wanted to do anything. So, he had decided to go out clubbing alone. He stood at one of the bars in Maniquinn, one of the night clubs at Disney World's Pleasure Island. Standing wasn't the best thing for him to do right now... he had had far too much to drink that night, in fact, he was more leaning on the bar then anything else.
"Hey Joey," someone said, "How are things going?"
"Oh hey Jason," Joey replied, "Long time no see, not since Universal."
"Yeah, hey, are you ok?" Jason asked.
"Yeah, I'm fine," Joey said as he tried to shake Jason's hand. Jason caught Joey as he lost his balance.
"Joey, Joey, Joey," Jason thought to himself, "I think that I'm gonna have some fun with you tonight."
Joey wakes up in a bed he doesn't know... someone is on top of him. He tries to shout out, but he can't. He has been gagged. The stifled screams aroused the other person.
"So, you ready for another round?"
Joey recognized that voice through the clouds of confusion. It was Jason.
Jason, penetrated Joey's ass with his thick cock. He teased Joey's virgin asshole by slowly entering and slowly retracting his penis. Joey wanted to shout out in pain, but couldn't. Deeper and deeper, Jason plunged. Joey let out a moan. Jason continued his working Joey's ass. He increased his pace. Joey was lost. He was hurting and enjoying this at the same time... He let out another moan.
"So, you like this huh?" Jason wickedly asked, "I have wanted to do this to you for a very long time Joey."
Jason's thrusts became frenzied. Right before he came, Joey
let out a big shout. He had just shot a load. "Well that was
good," Jason said as he untied Joey's gag, "Now get the fuck out of my
sight. You are a good lay... Look me up when ever you want it you
closet fag." Jason let out a cackle as he tossed Joey out of his
room. He landed on the hard floor outside with a dull thud.
**End Joey's Dream**
Joey woke up on the floor, still in the position he was in from
last night. The tears continued as he stood up to go to the balcony.
He didn't want to go back to sleep right then. If he had a choice,
he would never go back to sleep.
Ok all, that's it for this part. Please tell me what you think!
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