Date: Sun, 6 Jun 2004 19:56:00 EDT
From: Capricorn77Dude@aol.com
Subject: Free From Within Part 5

Disclaimer: This story is fiction and is not intended to imply anything
about the true sexuality of the celebrities mentioned or any personal
knowledge about their private lives.

Free From Within: Part 5
_____________________________________
May 2001

"Everything is going to be alright Craig." Howie said and held me.

	I just cried into his chest.  He rubbed my back and cried with me.
We sat there on our son's room.

"I was such a drama queen wasn't I?" I asked.

"You had reason baby."

"I should go down and apologize." I sniffled.

"Nah, they're family, they understand.  Besides I had everyone head out
before I came up.  I thought maybe right now should just be me and you." he
said.

"Thank you." I whispered.

"Your welcome." he whispered back.

	We stayed in Dom's room for I don't know how long.  It was just
comfortable.  But at some point we both realized that we had to keep strong
and crying in his room wasn't going to help.  Howie helped me up and we
went downstairs to where our families had cleaned everything up and set up
plates of food for us in the fridge.

"Come on babe, lets get something to eat." Howie said.

"I'm not really that hungry." I said.

"I know your not but you need to stay nourished.  And it's a good idea to
keep food in your stomach with those pain killers your on."

	Not willing to argue, I let him get me a plate and we sat in the
family room and ate.  I looked at Howie as he ate and was so thankful for
him.  I put my plate down and reached over and took his.

"Craig?"

	I crawled over onto his lap and kissed him.

"I love you." I said.

"I love you too."

"I'm sorry." I said.

"For what?"

"For everything I did."

"Baby what are you talking about?" he asked.

"Before we left Orlando I got you so mad.  And you were right.  But because
I was so stubborn I had to have my way.  And look where it got us.  It got
our son taken." I said in tears.

	Howie hugged me to him as I cried.

"Baby, you couldn't have known.  It is not your fault that Dom is gone.
You did what you had to do.  I don't blame you." he said.

	I jumped up and yelled.

"You should!  You should be mad and yell at me.  Or look at me with a sad
face and say I love you like you did in Orlando!"

	He sat there and looked like I slapped him.

"But instead you just sit there and tell me nothing is wrong and that
everything is going to be okay!  That's fucked!  It isn't!  Nothing is okay
and everything is wrong!" I yelled.

	He jumped up and grabbed my arms and put his face right in front of
mine.

"You want me to tell you everything is wrong?  Yeah it is Craig.  It can't
get anymore wrong then our son to be gone.  And yeah, I don't know that
everything is going to be okay, but I am trying to stay optimistic.  There
is a good chance we will never see our son again but instead of
concentrating on that I am focusing on holding him in my arms again.  But
do not, I repeat, DO NOT doubt that I love you.  I wished I had never let
you leave like I did.  The whole time you were in your coma and I sat by
your bed and didn't know if I would ever see you again, I beat myself up
over it.  I am sorry for that.  But if you think I am going to vindicate
you and get you mad over it all so you can deal better than think again.  I
know you Craig.  I know you can't deal with anything unless your mad.  So
be mad.  Be mad that the Cleary's took our son.  Be mad that they beat the
shit out of you.  Be mad that we can't find our son yet.  But don't be mad
at me.  I am your lifeline right now.  Use that.  Love me like I love you.
Cause without each other we're lost."

	When he finished he was in tears and I was as well.  I crumpled and
he guided me to the floor.

"We're going to be sad.  Its going to be hard.  But you can't keep going
off and having emotional break downs at the drop of a hat, cause pretty
soon I am going to have one and I'm going to need you to be there when I
do." he said.

	I looked up at him and smiled through my tears.  He smiled back and
then we started to laugh.  We laughed hard until we started to cry.  After
about five minutes of it we tapered down into hiccups and then finished.

"Thank you.  Your right, I do like to make myself the martyr." I said.

"I know.  Its part of your charm." he said with a smile.

"So what do we do now?" I asked as I stretched out on the floor.

	Howie laid beside and held my hand.

"Well, we could always do this." he said and leaned towards me.

	I pulled him towards me.  We kissed each other hungrily. I ran my
fingers through his hair and he caressed my face.  Our tongues darted into
each others mouths.

	Then Howie bumped my shoulder and I saw stars and yelled in pain.
I sat upright gripping my shoulder in tears and Howie sat back in fear.

"Its okay." I gasped. "Its not your fault.  I'll be ok."

	The fear left his face and was replaced with concern.  He put one
arm around me and hesitated.

"Howie, hold me like you normally would.  That doesn't hurt." I said.

	He smiled at me and embraced me.

"How long is it going to be like this?" he asked.

"Dr. Hannigan said the cast would be off in another month.  The collarbone
is just mending naturally and in its own time.  It may be awhile that I am
sore like this." I said.

"I'll try and remember next time." he said.

"Howie, what are we going to do about Dom?  I can't just sit in the house
waiting by the phone."

"Right now babe we have to.  They haven't made any calls or demands.  We
have no idea where they went or what they are doing.  We have no choice but
to wait.  If we don't we may miss that important call."

	I sighed and laid my head against Howie.  He was right.  There was
nothing we could do until they made the first move.  I hated feeling like
this.

"Babe, what time is it?" I asked.

"Almost eight." he said. "Why?"

"I was going to call and apologize to everyone.  But maybe in the morning?"

"You know they understand." he said.

"I know its just..."

	He leaned over and kissed me.

"Let's go to bed." he said.

	He helped me off the floor and we went up the stairs.  Howie had
closed Dom's door when we left.  Lucky was laying in front of it.

"Come on boy." I said to him.

	He got up and followed us to our room.  He laid on the floor by our
bed.  Howie turned down our blankets while I tried to get out of my
clothes.

"Need help?" he asked.

"No I can do it." I said.

	He laughed as he took off his shirt and jeans.

"Okay.  I need help." I said.

	He came over and kissed me on the lips.  The he carefully pulled
the muscle shirt away from my arm and over my head.  I smiled at him.  He
smiled back and kissed me again as he unbuttoned my pants.  As he pulled
them down he slowly ran his mouth down my chest.  I sat on the bed so he
could take them off my legs.

	Once he did he helped me get under the blankets and comfortable.
Proving to be a little difficult with the cast.  We finally managed to get
it right and fell asleep.  The nightmares started as soon as I fell asleep.
It was that night all over again.  I kept going back for Dom and then it
would get foggy.  I heard and felt stuff but nothing clear.  Almost like
watching television when the channel is on the fritz.  You can hear but not
see.  The problem is, it was what happened that night and I was trying to
remember for a clue, so as intense as the dream was and as bad as I wanted
to wake up, I wouldn't.

	The next morning I woke up late and found Howie at the end of the
bed watching me.

"What?" I asked.

"Nothing.  I just got so used to watching you in the hospital that I ended
up doing it all night here as well."

"Babe, you need to get some sleep then." I said.

	He walked over to me and put his arms around me as I sat up.  I
smiled up at him.

"I love you Craig and it makes me feel better to watch over you.  Besides,
I do sleep some, but the nightmares keep me up."

"I'm sorry." I said.

"Its not your fault babe.  I just wake up and find you thrashing, so it
gives me peace of mind to sit and make sure you don't get hurt."

"I love you baby.  What did I ever do to deserve you?" I asked.

	He just smiled and kissed me.  He helped me into my robe and we
went downstairs to get some breakfast.  I got on the phone and apologized
to everyone.  I was reassured that there were no hard feelings and that
they all understood.

	Howie's parents were staying with my parents and I know the two
moms wanted to come over and nurture but at the moment it was okay with
just me and Howie.  I felt overwhelmed with everyone there.  They all
hovered and made me uneasy.  Some of this was the drugs, some of it was the
experience and some of it was just nerves.  I could not stop thinking of my
son and where he was.  I just reassured myself that they wouldn't hurt him.
If I ever let myself think that I would snap.

	I then got a phone call from Lieutenant Stone.

"Craig?"

"Yes."

"This is Darrell Stone"

"Hello."

"I'm leading the investigation on your case.  Your dad has filled me in and
I just wanted to let you know that we will find Dom."

"Thanks Stone, its comforting knowing your on duty."

	My dad and Stone went to college together.  Stone actually had
studied to be a lawyer but became disenchanted and wanted to help people by
joining the force.  He had helped my dad in a lot of cases and the two of
them were a pair to be reckoned with.

"Have you gotten anything back from that night?" he asked.

"Nope, its still a blank after the smack on the head.  But I think there
was more.  Or maybe I am just hoping I hold some key to getting my son
back."

"Whatever the case you call me if you get something."

"Will do."

	I told Howie all about it.  That night we saw how the media was
covering our story.  Instead of getting mad it started to make me think.

	We made a decision my second day back.  We went to the media.  We
told them everything that we knew.  So now the Cleary's were posted all
over television along with Dom.  Our family came over and we had a
barbecue.  I fooled everyone and led them to believe I was okay.  But on
the inside I was dying.

	Howie's parents had to head back to Florida but were reluctant to
leave.  Mom assured them she would keep them posted.  Brit had to get back
to the studio and left as well.  When mom was leaving she told me to call
her when we needed anything and just to spend time together.

	Howie and I were laying on the couch watching television the next
afternoon.  He lay behind me with his arms around me.  I could hear him
snoring as I watched the daytime shows.  Then I realized the time and
flipped to Rosie.

	I came in at the opening monologue.

"...doesn't that beat all out?  My next topic is one that I am going to
get passionate about.  I don't know if any of you pay attention to national
news or not, but a grievous crime has been committed in Tucson, Arizona.
My best friends Craig Bingham and Howie D. have had something awful happen.
Their son was kidnapped.  That's right!  By the maternal grandparents no
less!  Can you believe that?  They are two of the best people I know.  They
are the best parents and these people come and take their son!  I tell you,
I talk to Craig on the phone and he is calmer than I would be.  He is
trying to keep it together and I think that we as a family should help.
Talk to everyone you know.  Tell them to go to missing children.com and
look at these pictures.  I think all of America should see what these
people look like.  So if you see any of them you call the authorities right
away.  Lets get Dom back to his daddies!" she screamed and the screen cut
to a pic of us holding Dom.

	I teared up and smiled.  I had some awesome friends.  The phone
rang and I reached over and picked up.

"Hello?"

"Craig?"

"Brit?"

"Baby, how you doing?"

"Alright girl, holding up.  You?"

"Trying.  I keep thinking of you guys and Dom and keep crying."

"Aww, that's just your hormones."

"Craig!  How can you be so cool about this?!"

"Cause Brit if I gave in and let it all out I wouldn't be able to stop."

"You're a stronger bitch than I am."

"Ain't that the truth!  So what's up?"

"My management is pissing me off!  They are keeping this pregnancy thing
under wraps til fall.  I'm telling you, things around here are for shit.
The guys are being fucked with constantly because of Howie being gone, I
can't talk to anyone and well...I just want to be home."

"Brit, do it then!  Don't let them run your life!  The guys are fucking
awesome right now, they are doing the work and taking the hits for Howie
and still calling every day.  They want to come as well but management is
freezing them as well.  I guess me and Howie are the hot topic right now."

"Yeah and its bull.  You know what?  Your right.  I am leaving.  Besides I
got your sisters graduation to come to in a few days."

"That's right!  Sel graduates this week!"

	We ended the conversation with Brit asking us to pick her up at the
airport.  Then I called Sel.  I got up so Howie could sleep more.  I walked
out on the patio as she picked up.

"Hey little girl when's your graduation?"

"On Friday.  Your going to be there right?  Mom wouldn't let me call and
ask cause she doesn't want us to be bothering you right now."

"You guys aren't a bother.  Tell me what do you want for graduation?"

"My nephew back."

	I was stunned in silence.

"Oh god, Craig!  I am sorry!  I didn't..."

"No its okay.  I want him back too."

"We all do bro.  We all do."

	We talked more about what she would wear and I did the brotherly
thing and warned her about drinking and driving with the parties.  It took
my mind off Dom and that was okay.

	When I hung up the phone I turned and saw Howie standing on the
other side of the French doors watching me.  He came out and stretched.

"Feel better?" I asked.

"What do you mean?"

"That nap."

"Yeah, now I am rested up for guard duty." he said with a smile.

	He came over and put his arms around me and we looked around our
back yard.  I got misty because like Dom's room it was full of things that
he never got the chance to play with.

"None of that ok Craig?"

"Sorry."

"Its okay.  Just think when we get Dom back we can teach him to swim."
Howie said wistfully.

"Yeah." I responded half-heartedly.

	I let go of Howie's arms and went back into the house and curled up
on the couch.  Howie came in right after me and knelt in front of me.

"Craig, I'm sorry.  I shouldn't have said that."

"Its okay Howie.  I--I miss my baby!" I wailed.

	The phone rang just then.  It was Lt. Stone asking us to come to
the station.

"Did he say why?" I asked Howie.

"No, but he said to hurry."

"Do you think..."

"Lets not jump to anything Craig." he said.

	We got into the Escalade and took off.  When we arrived at the
station we found my parents and siblings there as well.

"What's happening?" I asked.

"We don't know, Darrell asked us all to come here." my mom said.

	On cue he came out.

"I asked you all to be here because we got some shocking news, and I
thought you should all be here for it." he said. "I don't know how to tell
you this."

"Dammit Darrel just spit it out." my dad said.

"Your grandson was found."

"where?" Howie asked.

"In the desert."

"Where is he?" my mom asked.

"I'm sorry Mrs. Bingham...he is down in the morgue."

	Howie collapsed, I bent down and helped him up.  He wrapped his
arms around me and cried.  My parents held each other while Scott and Sel
stood in shock.  I stood shocked but fighting to maintain control.

"I'm sorry, this is why I asked you all to come.  I need someone to
identify."

"He's my son.  Let me see him."

"Craig it might not be..."

"I don't care.  I want to see him...I HAVE to see him."

	Stone led me and Howie down to the morgue.  He explained on the way
down that they had received and anonymous tip that the child was in the
desert.  When they found him it was obvious he had been there for awhile.
The heat and animals had gotten to him.  He told us this to dissuade us and
to brace us.  We pushed on and we entered the examine room and saw a little
towel on the table.  Stone pulled it back and Howie turned away gagging.  I
stared at what was left of my son and held strong.

"So he has been out there how long?" I asked.

"We think just after you were attacked." he said.

"This doesn't make sense.  Why would they take him from me just to do
this?" I asked.

"We don't know."

"Wait a minute..." I said.

"What is it?" Howie asked turning around.

"Okay I know that maybe I am looking for something right now to make me
feel better, but ... Dom has a birth mark on his inner left knee just like
mine.  This baby doesn't."

	Stone examined the baby and Howie leaned over and looked.

"He's right Dom has a birth mark there."

"We can't be positive until we do DNA but if you guys are right then your
son is still out there and on top of kidnapping the Cleary's are now wanted
for murder." Stone said.

	We went back to the room with my family and waited for the tests.
After five hours, Stone came to us with good news.

"That wasn't Dom." he said.

	My family cheered.  I looked at Howie and smiled.  We drove home
and all I could think about was how someone else's child had been taken and
murdered.  I was glad it wasn't Dom but still.  We entered the house and I
walked over to Dom's play pen and feel to the floor.  Howie came running
over.

	Howie put his arms around me and held me as I cried.  That's where
we stayed for most of the night.  I had shut down.  When they called and
said my son was dead I held on to identify him and when me and Howie found
out it wasn't him, you would think that would have made me better.  Instead
I got worse.  My mind revolved around how that baby had been murdered by
the Cleary's, what would they do to my baby? The next morning Howie
couldn't get me to talk.  I would get up if he pulled me up.  I would eat
if he put food in front of me.  I was going through the motions.  My family
would come over and visit with Howie as I would sit in a chair and stare
off into space.  When Brit arrived she came over and was shocked at my
condition.

	Howie and her sat in his office while I roamed the upstairs.

"Okay, not that I mind the view but why is he always in just pajama
bottoms?" she asked.

"Because with the cast its easier to just wear the bottoms."

"Howie, what's wrong with him?"

"The doctor says it is withdrawal.  It comes and goes.  One moment he is
back and then the next he is wandering.  That false alarm with the other
baby really fucked him up.  All of us actually but more so Craig.  Its his
minds way of dealing with Dom.  He swears that there was more that happened
that night that is hidden in his subconscious and the doc thinks that these
trances might be trying to find that as well."

"Whatever the case its killing both of you.  When's the last time you
slept?" Brit asked.

"I sleep." Howie answered defensively.

"A full night?"

"I don't know, maybe before this all happened.  But I don't need a full
night to get by."

"Right because you naturally have black bags under your bloodshot eyes.
Howie, let me keep watch and you go get some rest."

"I can't.  I can't fall asleep Brit.  I worry about what's happening to
Craig while I am asleep or I dream about Dom."

"But your body needs some rest Howie.  Let me help ok?"

	He grudgingly agreed and went to our room to humor Brit.  But as
soon as his head hit the pillow he was out.

	Meanwhile, Brit followed me through the house.  And after a few
hours noticed a pattern.  I would go from Dom's room to the master suite.
From the master suite to my office and then back again.  Howie had told her
that at first he tried to move me or stop me but gave up.  Being the first
time she wanted to attempt it as well.

	I came down the stairs and she walked alongside me, but instead of
letting me walk into the office she directed me to the kitchen.  She handed
me a plate from the fridge and I sat down and ate it.  This broke my
trance.

"What are you doing here Brit?" I asked with a mouthful.

"Trying to help you guys.  Do you know what you have been doing?"

"What do you mean?' I asked.

"You have been wondering this house like a psyche patient.  Howie has been
going crazy worrying about you.  Not to mention your family."

"Oh."

"Oh what Craig?"

"I didn't realize."

"Realize what?  That you were locking yourself away from the world and
making them hurt as well?"

"Yeah."

"Craig I know what your doing.  You shut down so you don't have to deal
with the pain.  But that's not the way it works.  You have to handle the
pain.  And don't shut everyone out.  We are all here to help you.  Let us."

"I know.  Where's Howie?"

"He's sleeping.  That man is worried about you."

"I love him so much Brit.  I just want my family back."

	She walked over and hugged me.

"I know you do.  We all do.  Now you need to pull yourself together so we
can go to your little sister's high school graduation."

"Oh my god, what am I going to wear?" I asked.

"I am sure we will find something." she said with a smile.

	The rest of the afternoon we spent planning our outfits and letting
Howie rest.  The graduation was at seven so at five I went in to wake up
Howie.  He was laying on the bed with his arms curled around the pillow and
looked very peaceful.  I crawled into the bed next to him and cuddled up
against him and looked at his beautiful face.  I kissed the tip of his nose
and he awoke with a smile.

"Your awake." he said.

"And your rested." I responded.

"Lets not do this again baby, lets keep strong for Dom, ok?" he asked.

"Okay."

	Careful of my arm he hugged me and kissed me.  He sat up and pulled
me with him.  He stood and took off his clothes and helped me up to get my
bottoms off.  We went into the bathroom and he took his shower first.  I
sat and admired his body and he lathered and rinsed.  He noticed me looking
and smiled.  When he finished he got out and wrapped a towel around himself
and had me get in the shower.  Carefully keeping the cast out of the water,
he helped me get cleaned up.

	We went back into the room and I sat on the bed and smiled at him.
He came over and stood in front of me.

"You look so cute when your wet." he said.

"You look so cute when your naked." I said.

	We kissed again until Brit pounded on our door.

"Come on!  We need to be at the school in 45 minutes!"

"We'll be right out!" I yelled back.

	We got off the bed and started getting clothes.  Howie put on white
Tommy shorts that contrasted nicely with his skin.  He wore a white and
blue checked dress shirt over a gray wife beater.  He came over to me and
helped me into my clothes.  I wore black Tommy shorts and a white and green
checked dress shirt over a white wife beater.  We both wore sandals.
Typical outfits for Arizona weather.

"I feel like a kid, not being able to dress myself." I said with a smile.

"I like taking care of you baby." he said and kissed me.

	We left the room and walked down the stairs hand in hand.  When we
got to the bottom we found Brit waiting for us in a simple pink sundress
and strappy sandals.  She smiled as she saw us.

"Ya'll look so cute together!"

"And so do you.  Oh my gosh Brit, your pregnant!" I said in mock surprise.

"Shut up!"

	We walked in the garage and I looked at the Jeep for a moment and
was saddened, but pulled back determined to get to Sel's special day.  We
loaded into the Escalade and headed to the high school.

	The place was packed with the families and friends of all the
seniors.  The three of us had our shades on and hoped to hell that no one
would recognize us.  Before we would walk away from the car, Scott pulled
up.  We went over to help them out with the kiddies.  Scott saw me and
smiled.

"You made it!" he said.

"Wouldn't miss little sis's big day." I said.

	He hugged me tightly and thumped my back.

"You up to carrying anything?" he asked.

	I nodded expecting a bag and was instead handed my niece.  I looked
down at her and she was just the cutest thing I had ever seen.

"Keep her safe aight?  I got these two monsters to deal with." he said with
a smile.

	I looked up and saw Howie and Brit taking the twins and Scott
helping Beth out of the car.  Wondering why for a moment and then Howie
leaned over and whispered.

"She got an infection with the staples, so its hard to move right now."

	I nodded and we started our way to the bleachers.  Howie held Trey
and walked on my left while Brit held Cary and walked on my right.  Scott
and Beth followed up the line.  We found Mom and Dad in the bleachers with
a row saved for us.  We made our way over and they exclaimed over me and
the baby.  I could tell they were happy to see me up and around and I felt
a twinge.  These people all had gone through so much with me.  I looked
down at Kaitlyn and swore then and there I would not go back under again.
I would fight to stay in control and hopeful.  I felt another twinge
wishing Dom could be here with his cousins, but let it go for the moment.

	Trey and Cary went to my parents but unknown to me, the unspoken
agreement had been to leave Kaitlyn with me.  They all hoped that holding
the baby was helping me.  They were right.

	The music started and we all rose to watch the graduating class
enter.  My dad was down getting it all on video.  We all saw Sel and made
some noise.  She looked beautiful in her cap and gown.

	They were all seated and we all sat as well.  The junior choir sang
"Do You Know?" and when they finished the principal stood and started
announcing the achievements.  We all waited to hear valedictorian.  We knew
Sel had got it, but we were still excited.

"And our valedictorian for the class of 2001 is Ysela Eve Bingham."

	We stood and cheered as she made her way to the podium.

"Thank you all.  I was amazed that I achieved this honor.  So many of us
here today worked hard to get here.  I`m proud of us all.  Guys we made it!
Something that I am most proud of is that my class, wait, my high school is
very open minded.  We have several gay students who can be themselves and
fit in with the jocks or the drama club.  Other high schools have gay
students as well, but these students are sometimes afraid to be who they
are.  We have counseling and our administration punishes hate crimes.  Not
many other high schools have started this.  I have friends who are out here
tonight that transferred here in the middle of this year just to escape the
bigots at their schools.  Think about that, they went to some schools that
rank higher than ours but came here because WE ARE MORE TOLERANT.  We
believe that is the stuff inside that makes you the person you are.  This
means a lot to me considering my family.  This last year alone I have stood
by and watched how society had been narrow-minded against my brother and
the love of his life."

	The crowd cheered her and I got misty.  Howie put his arm around me
and smiled.

"So to my class I say this: think about how tolerant and cool everyone
around you has been these last four year.  Cool huh?  Remember that.  When
we go out into our colleges and work places lets that that positive
attitude with us and go forward with it.  I don't know if we can change the
world, but I know we can make a difference!"

	The crowd cheered as Sel took her seat.  The rest of the ceremony
went as usual.  Then they started handing the diploma's.  When Sel's name
was called we all yelled for her.  Kaitlyn awoke and this and started to
cry.  I rocked her gently and she soon hushed and looked at me with her big
blue eyes.  I smiled at her and held her close as the ceremony finished.
The seniors all threw their caps in the air and the crowd cheered.

	We met with Sel at the bottom of the bleachers and all
congratulated her.  Howie and I went together.

"That meant a lot Sel." Howie said and hugged her.

" I just want to help.  You guys have shown me how unfair society can be to
gays."

"I'm proud of you little girl." I said.

"Don't start crying, cause then I'm gonna cry and then we're both gonna
look like raccoons." she said with a smile.

	So I handed Kaitlyn to Howie and hugged my little sister.  My dad
announced that we needed to head to the restaurant to make our reservation.
We all headed to our cars.  Sel rode with us.  Her and Brit chattered the
whole way there.  We arrived at the restaurant and went in.  My father had
reserved a section for our family.  Several of Sel's friends and family had
been invited and the restaurant was soon packed.  It was awesome to watch
all these young hopefuls on their night.

	Of course everyone knew who we were and were approached for
autographs and pictures.  We took it all in stride.  My parents presented
Sel plane tickets.  She opened them to see an all expense paid trip to
Jamaica with five of her friends.  After we all ate the teens started
getting restless and my parents let Sel go with the promise that she would
be responsible.  The rest of us started to pack it in as well.  I handed
Kaitlyn over to Beth and told her that anytime she wanted I would take the
kids for her.  She smiled and thanked me.

	Brit, Howie and I left and I felt good.  I was still thinking about
and missing my boy but life was going on still.

	The next few days were spent packing Sel up and getting her ready
for her trip.  We went shopping for outfits and stuff.  We talked about how
cool it would be in the fall when she enrolled at the University of
Arizona.  She talked about how dad was already including her in stuff with
his firm.  I was so happy for her and so proud of her.  My baby sister was
almost grown up.  We saw her off to the airport and went home.  Brit was
staying with us that night and the three of us were in the family room
watching a movie.  I nodded off with my head in Howie's lap.

	My dream started the same as it always did.  I got hit in the back
of the head and went down hearing Dom's cries.  But this time instead of
the voices and fog I got the real thing.

	I went down and hit the sidewalk and lay there.  My eyes were
closed but I was still conscious.  The Cleary's thought otherwise.  They
moved around me as if I was dead.  I over heard them talking inside.

"I got everything together we need to meet Tim and Josh at the lot." Judy
said.

"What do you want us to do with the fag?" the cop asked.

"We should dump him and his car somewhere.  That way it gives you more time
to get to Mexico." the lawyer added.

"You want we should do him in permanently?" the cop asked.

"No!  We are Christians, even if he is against god we can't kill him." Judy
said.

	At this point I got to my feet and snuck to the door.  It was
obvious they were kidnapping Dom and running to Mexico.  I just had to do
something about that.  I went with instinct.  The cop came back out the
door and I jumped him from behind.  I put my hand around his mouth and
tried to overpower him.  To no avail because the lawyer came out next and
caught me trying to do this.  Somehow he got a baseball bat and whaled on
my left shoulder.  This knocked me loose from the cop who turned and
grabbed me by my arms and held me.  The lawyer started punching my face.
Judy yelled to hurry up before the neighbors came out.  She ran out the
door with Naomi and Dom.  He was screaming and his face was red.

	 This gave me the adrenaline rush to bust loose of the cops grip
and run after them.  I caught them and ripped Dom out of Judy's arms and
took of in a mad dash for the Cherokee on the street.  Before I could make
it, the two bum rushed me causing me to go down.  I held Dom protectively
to my chest and fell on my back knocking the wind out of me.  The lawyer
grabbed Dom while the cop used the baseball bat to smash my left arm.  I
heard a crack and screamed.  I rolled over to my left arm to protect it and
the lawyer started to kick in my ribs on that side.  The cop then smashed
the baseball bat against the back of my skull driving my face into the
gravel and making me black out.

	I awoke with a gasp and found myself on the floor with Howie
holding my arms and Brit holding my legs.

"What happened?" I asked.

"You started kicking and yelling.  I was afraid to wake you up but afraid
you would hurt yourself so me and Brit held you til you woke.  What's
wrong?" he asked.

	I sat up and hugged him.

"I had the dream.  It finished.  I lived it out." I yelled.

"What happened?" Brit asked.

	I relayed the dream to them.

"So you did fight hard baby.  You weren't going to let them have our son."

"I know...but I really should have used that time to call the cops or dad
or someone.  I know now that fighting was worthless."

"But with your son crying like that...its no wonder you did what do you
did."

	I called Stone and told him the new news.  He said they would use
that, but they had already figured Mexico.  He asked if they had used a
town name or anything.  But all I had heard was Mexico.  Still this was
progress and I was happy to have the knowledge that I didn't give my son up
without a fight.

	Brit had to get back to start promoting her movie "Crossroads" and
her upcoming Cd "Britney".  She was getting frustrated with management.
The press was going to get wind of the pregnancy soon, but not soon enough
for her.  All photos had been airbrushed and the public appearances to a
minimum but the premieres were going to the test.  They had baggy tops for
her to cover the bulge while Brit just wanted to step forward and announce
it.

	Howie meanwhile was getting frustrated with his management.  The
guys and he were on the phone constantly and the group was in the midst of
leaving the management.  They were getting tired of it.  They wanted to
come join us in Tucson and had to fight tooth and nail to get permission.
Surprisingly instead of the guys hating Howie, it was drawing them closer.

	We were babysitting my nephews and niece when we caught Brit's
interview with MTV.

"So Britney how are things going for you this summer?" Carson asked.

"Pretty busy Carson.  Crossroad just go released and I am loving the
excitement behind it.  Going to the premieres and meeting the fans is
always awesome.  My new single `Slave 4 U' is pumping the airwaves as the
summer jam."  she responded to the cheers of the audience.

"That's right we just saw the premiere of that video and girl you are
looking H-O-T!"  He said with the crowds approval.

"Thanks."

"But you have some sad stuff too, right?"

"Yeah, my best friends are going through some hard times right now.  Craig
and Howie still haven't heard anything on Dom."

"We have been keeping them in all our thoughts and prayers." he said.

"Tell me about it.  And they are rocks for one another, I can't imagine
what I would be like if this happened to my child."

"Funny you should say that Brit, that was my next question.  The tabloids
have been speculating for the last few months.  Now can you confirm or
deny...are you pregnant with Justin Timberlake's love child?"

	The audience sat on the edge of their seats and Britney paused.


"I think that its so funny.  But what I think is funnier is that my agent
is signaling me something right now.  What is that?  Tell them?  Okay!  I
confirm that I am pregnant but will deny that is Justin's."

	The crowd was silent.  Carson stood there with a stupid look on his
face.  And somewhere in the Jive building executives were having heart
attacks.  Meanwhile my girl stood there with a smile, took Carson's mike
and said,

"Our number one video is by Nsync and Nelly, `Girlfriend'."

	The video came on and America started to talk.  I turned to Howie
and smiled.

"She got her way." he said.

"Was there ever a doubt?  I knew she was going to crack." I said.

	Cary and Trey looked at us as we laughed and started to laugh as
well.

	Later that night we heard from Brit.  She was ecstatic about her
news.  Management was not.  What with the imagery going on with the BSB the
last thing they had wanted was this.  But Brit didn't care.

"Honestly Craig, tomorrow they could drop me and it would all be good." she
said.

"Yeah also because how many other company would be waiting to snatch you
up?" I joked.

"A few actually, I have got offers just this afternoon.  Oh Craig it feels
so good to let them know the truth.  Their my fans, they should deserve to
know right?"

"Right."

"Good.  So I did the right thing?"

"Yeah!"

"Alright sweetie.  I need to turn in, but we'll talk in the morning ok?"

"Alright, love ya Brit."

"Love ya too."

	We hung up and I relayed it back to Howie.

"You know I was thinking...Lance Bass started his own company, wouldn't it
be feasible that others could do that?  Say the Backstreet Boys and Britney
Spears.  I also know of a major actor who could be in the deal as well." he
said with a smile.

"You mean for you all to leave Jive and go on your own?"

"Yeah the guys and me have been talking about it.  And with what Britney is
going through as well...well it could work."

	Before anything else could be said the phone rang and I picked up.

"Hello?"

"Craig?"

"Speaking."

"I--I need your help."

"Who is this?"

"This is Naomi."

	I gasped and hit speakerphone.  Howie looked over and I just waved.

"Who?" I asked.

"Naomi Cleary.  Craig I want to get Dom back to you..."


To be continued. . . .