Date: Mon, 25 Sep 2000 10:14:11 -0700 (PDT) From: A F Subject: n-the-mix This story is a complete work of fiction and is not meant to imply anything about the sexuality of Justin Timberlake or JC Chasez. Or for that matter anyone else. This is just part one and its my first story, so gimme a break. Part two is written, but let me know what you think. Send all comments, questions, concerns... whatever to abuffy00@yahoo.com Ok. I think that about does it. Enjoy.. and email me :) Chapter One Justin wiped the sweat off of his face with a hand towel. "Man, that was slammin." He said to the four other members of N'Sync. All of them were pumped after the New Year's Eve concert that they had just performed in Honolulu. Their clothes stuck to their bodies and their hair was matted down. Justin was ready to shower and go out to party. It was, after all, a new year. The possibilities were endless. Lance leaned against the wall, his eyes closed. "Man, I'm so tired. I can't deal tonight, y'all go ahead and go out." he said. He was always the first one to wimp out when it came to partying. "Not Me!" Chris declared, spinning around so his braids swung around his head. "I'm pumped!" J.C. just sat back and watched with mild amusement. He was the more contained of the group. Joey smirked. "You're always pumped. You need some downers." The five guys climbed into the limo that was waiting outside. They managed to escape the millions of screaming fans that swarmed around them. "That was close. " Justin laughed. He was the youngest of the group, and the most carefree. He looked at the other members, his eyes briefly settling on J.C. He smiled when the lead singer looked up and smiled. They had been friends for a very long time and sometimes they could read each other's thoughts. 'If only he knew how much I care about him.' Justin thought. 'J.C. is everything I want to be. He can sing and dace and...' With that thought he turned away and stared at the scenery. Honolulu was a beautiful place. Just the right setting for romance. Maybe he could find someone while they were here. He sat back lost in thought until they arrived at the hotel. They were ushered in, only running into a few fans. Everyone headed for their separate rooms on the fourteenth floor. The plan was to shower and meet in a half-hour, all except for Lance. He was going to sleep. The poor guy was coming down with a cold. Once inside his hotel room, J.C. stripped and jumped into the shower, his mind trailing back to the ride home. 'Justin was acting strange,' he thought. 'He was really quiet. I hope nothing's wrong.' The thought of Justin made shivers run down his spine. He thought of the sweat dripping off of his body, running over his face and... 'Stop it.' He told himself. 'You only have thirty minutes and if you get excited, it would take you a long time to fix it. Save it for tonight.' He could get off to Justin anytime. 'Too bad Justin is straight.' He thought as he quickly washed his hair and turned the water off.. He climbed out of the shower and threw on some clothes. Tonight was New Year's eve and he was determined to have a wonderful time, even if it killed him. Back in his room, Justin stood at the mirror putting gel into his brown curly hair. He was ready, all except for this one piece of hair that wouldn't cooperate with him. 'J.C. has perfect hair.' He thought, his mind wandering again. 'And a perfect body' A knock on the door made him jump. He looked at his gold Rolex. It had been a half-hour since he left the others in the hall. "Time to go out." He mumbled to himself as he looked back in the mirror for one last attempt to get that hair to lay down. He walked over to the door and pulled it open with a sideways grin on his face. "Hola." he said to Chris who leaned against the doorframe, dancing in place. "It's about damn time boy. It's gonna be 2001 by the time we get out of here.. Let's go bust a move," he said doing a dance step from the 80's. "How about not." Justin replied, shaking his head, his grin evening out. Together they walked down the hall to the elevator where J.C. and Joey were waiting. They rode down to the first floor talking about how they thought the show was one of their better performances. Justin leaned back against the elevator wall, closing his eyes slightly so he could watch J.C. without being noticed.. "Hey Curly, what's your deal?" Joey asked, punching him lightly on the arm. "Nothing, man. I'm cool. I just wanna save my energy for later. " "Ok, whatever. Hey J.C. do you think I'm sexy?" Chris asked, modeling for the group. "Uh, sure man. You look great. " J.C. replied shifting his attention to the opening door. "Would you fuck me?" he asked again, striking a pose from a Madonna video. "Ah, no." J.C. answered. 'However if you were Justin... bad thought' he told himself as he shifted ever so slightly to avoid anyone noticing how uncomfortable he'd become. They walked across the lobby to the front doors where they were greeted by a mob of fans. They scrambled into the limo, tripping over each other, J.C. and Justin's limbs tangled together as they made a dash for the door at the same time. They landed on a pile on the floor, Justin laying on top of J.C. The closeness of their body was too much for him to handle and to his horror he felt an erection growing through his jeans. He moved off of his longtime friend quickly, a flush of embarrassment on his face. No one seemed to notice. J.C. was disappointed. He knew Justin was straight and he wasn't interested in guys, but he moved as if a snake had bit him. 'Not only is the guy I like straight, he's homophobic. Does he know I like him?' he wondered, paranoid that Justin wouldn't want anything to do with him. 'He has been acting weird lately.' The other three engaged in normal group conversation as J.C. sat in silence, lost in thought. They arrived at the party and they split up, each going a different direction. Justin found his way to the dance floor, like he always did. J.C. hung back by the bar, normally he didn't drink, but it was New Year's eve so he ordered a Martini. Joey went to find an old friend and Chris headed for the girls. He thought he was hot shit, and his goal for the evening was to get laid. After a while of Chatting with the bartender and a couple of the younger female guests, J.C.'s eyes wandered around the room. They settled on the brunet on the dance floor who had fallen on him in the limo. 'He is so damn hot. Why can't he be gay? I'd give anything to be with him, if only he could see how much I love him. If I actually told him he'd freak out. His mind would race back to all those times we'd seen each other naked and all those times I'd hugged him' He realized that Justin noticed him looking at him and was looking back. J.C.. smiled and was greeted with one of those award-winning smiles that made his heart beat a little faster every time he saw it. Justin was wondering if J.C. thought he was gay. He can't believe how horrible it would be for his friend to realize he was all excited when it came to him. He glanced over at the bar where he noticed J.C. staring at him lost in thought. 'Shit, what am I going to do now?' He thought. 'He's gotta know...but would that be so bad?' he looked up and smiled, not letting J.C. know that he figured out his secret. 'I'll just keep dancing and maybe he'll think it was nothing.' The rest of the night went by quickly and soon all four of them were exhausted from the long night. No one talked on the way back to the hotel and when they got to the elevator, Justin, Joey and Chris all noticed for the first time that J.C. was a little tipsy. He was walking crooked and his breath smelled of alcohol. Justin and Joey helped him into the elevator, as Chris laughed at his friend.. "Shit, he's gonna have one hell of a headache in the morning." He said as the other two struggled under his slightly dead weight. J.C. just laughed. "It's not like him to drink, do you think something's wrong and he's not telling us?" Justin asked the other two. "Nah, it's New Year's eve. He just felt like loosening up." Chris replied, stepping off the elevator and heading to his room. "Joe, you can go on, I can handle him." Justin said, shifting more of J.C.'s weight onto him. J.C. turned and wrapped his arms around his neck. "I love you, man." He giggled. "You sure?" Joey asked already backing his way down the hall. "Yep." "Ok..." and with that he turned on his heel and walked down the hallway, whistling. Justin moved towards the right, stumbling slightly as he guided J.C. against the wall. 'It's a good thing his room is close to the elevator, or I'd have to drag his ass down the hallway.' "Where's your key, man?" He asked as he backed J.C. up against the wall. At the back of his mind, he thought about the things he could do to him. "In my pocket." J.C. replied, making no attempt to reach for it. Hesitantly, Justin slid his hand down his left front pocket and felt around. No room key.. Then he slid his hand into his right front pocket. 'That's not a key either,' he thought to himself, impressed at the bulge in his friend's pants. His hand slid around to J.C.'s tight ass, lowering into his pockets. He found the key in the last one he tried. Holding one hand against J.C.'s chest, he swiped the credit card like key into the lock and pushed the door open with his foot. Wrapping one of his arms around Justin's neck, he glided J.C. into the hotel room, laying him down on the bed. J.C. laid sprawled out, his legs swung over the edge. Justin bent down to take his shoes off. J.C. had been wanting Justin in that position for a long time and the thought made him giggle again. "You laugh like a school girl, you know that?" Justin asked, standing up and heading to the door. He was way turned on by the fact that he had been feeling around his friend's pants and that he had been in a position he'd only thought about in his wet dreams. His only response was a giggle. The next afternoon, close to one, J.C. opened his eyes and groaned. There was no way in hell he was going to be able to function properly. 'Shit, I drank way too much last night. I hope I didn't make a complete ass of myself. I wouldn't be surprised if they had pictures of me with a lampshade on my head.' "Never again "he moaned to himself as he rolled over causing the dull ache in his head to pulse. Justin turned on his side, still in bed. His mind raced back to the night before and lingered on J.C. He remembered poking around in his pockets feeling for the key and running into something else. They were so close last night, he could feel J.C.'s breath as he leaned against him. Justin's hand found it's way into his boxers as he slowly began to caress his already hard cock. He thought about J.C. lying there, allowing him free will to do whatever he wanted to his body. He quickened his pace a little, as his breathing deepened. He thought about touching his dick on accident, and finding that it was slightly hard. He let his mind wander.' J.C. stumbled over to the bathroom, hurrying to take a piss. When he was finished, he went to the sink and washed his hands and then splashed his face with water. "Today's gonna be hell." He mumbled to his reflection in the mirror. A shrill noise blasted from the phone on the other side of the room breaking the silence. He stumbled over to it, reaching it on the fourth ring. "Hey sleeping beauty, how's it going?" Chris asked into the phone. "Shh," J.C. scolded. "Be quiet." "Hangover? That sucks ass. So I'm thinking that you don't want to go eat with us?" "Bingo. " "Ok, well, Justin's not coming either. He's strained his muscles from carrying your ass in last night." 'He carried me in?' J.C. thought, a smile playing on his lips. "Seriously?" "No, he didn't strain a muscle Dumbass, he just doesn't feel like dealing with the fans. Maybe y'all should hang together today. Anyhow, Lance and Joey are naggin' at me to get off the phone, so we'll catch ya later, k?" "Yeah, later" J.C. replied as he placed the phone back on the cradle. 'He carried me in last night.' He picked up the phone and dialed Justin's room number. "Hello?" a breathy voice answered, slightly turning J.C. on. "Hey Jus, it's me. I just wanted to say thanks for last night. I don't remember much, but Chris said you carried me in." "Well, Joey helped some, but don't worry about it. It's cool. So, I take it you're not going with them today? I bet you have a hangover, huh?" Justin, laughed, pulling his boxers back up. "Yeah, a little. My head hurts like no other. What are you doing today?" "Shit, man. I don't know. Avoiding all those teenage girls that's for damn sure. I'm thinking about renting a movie off of TV." "Cool." "Hey, you wanna come watch it with me? We can order room service and it'll be just like we're at home." "Alright, what the hell. I look bad today anyway, I don't think my fans would want to see me. Plus screaming twelve year old girls do not sound very appealing right now." Justin laughed. "I'm sure you look fine..." 'That's for damn sure.' He added silently. "Give me about ten minutes and I'll be there." J.C. said hanging up the phone. Quickly he jumped in the shower and washed his hair, then he threw on a pair of boxers, jeans and a T-shirt. When he got to the room across the hall, he knocked twice, then leaned against the doorframe. Justin opened the door, grinning broadly. "Hey... I ordered hamburgers, was that cool?" "Sure. Do you have any Tylenol?" "Yeah, somewhere in here. My room's a mess, like always. " They both sat down on the king size bed, very aware of each other and the short amount of space in between them. They engaged in casual conversation until their food arrived, then they decided on watching The Matrix. Halfway through the movie, J.C. noticed that Justin was paying more attention to him than the movie. 'Did I say something to him last night?' he thought shifting uncomfortably. Justin noticed his friend's movements and looked back at the TV screen. 'If he doesn't think I'm gay after last night, he does now.' he thought. Just as they were finishing the movie, the phone rang. Without thinking, Justin dove across the bed reaching over J.C. "Hello?" Justin answered, avoiding his friend for fear that he would see the blush creeping into his face. "Hey y'all, having wild passionate monkey sex yet?" Chris giggled into the phone. "Yeah you know us. " Justin said, adding 'I wish' in his mind. "Do you feel like going to a club tonight with the rest of us? How's J.C. doing? Tossing his cookies?" "He's fine, right?" He asked, looking at J.C. "Yeah, couldn't be better." He replied, hoping Justin wouldn't move up, afraid he would feel a certain hardness caused by Justin laying on him. "Do you want to go to a club tonight?" Justin asked, turning over his shoulder. "Yeah, I guess, just don't let me drink again." "Ok. When do you want us to meet you?" He asked Chris. "Fifteen minutes in the lobby. " "Ok, gotta go, bye." He said hanging up the phone. "We have fifteen minutes to get ready. What are you wearing? I'm thinking jeans tonight." "This I suppose. I probably look like shit though." "Nah, you look better than I do. I'm gonna change my shirt. I dropped Ketchup on it while I was eating my fries. " Justin got up and shuffled through his suitcase. He slipped off his T-shirt and pulled over a black tanktop over his bare chest. His slight nakedness wasn't helping J.C.'s current situation. Justin headed to the bathroom were he sprayed his cologne and fixed his hair. J.C. calmed himself down and joined him at the sink. "So, did Chris hook up with a girl last night?" He asked running his hand through his own hair. "Nah, he got dissed majorly. He came back to the hotel with us and laughed at your staggering ass. " Justin teased, wrinkling his nose. J.C. shrugged it off with a sheepish smile. A few minutes later, they both were walking down the hall to the elevator. Joey, Lance and Chris were standing around waiting for the elevator to reach their floor. "Ready so soon? I figured it would take a while to get the whipped cream and chains off." Chris teased. "Yeah, well, the candle wax clean up was pretty easy." Justin answered. 'I only wish.' J.C. thought. ' I swear, Chris doesn't need to be putting those ideas in my head. Does he think I'm gay? Is that why he says that shit?' "Hey, J.C., were you the girl this time?" Joey asked innocently. "You're just Jealous you didn't get your chance with this handsome stud. " he replied rubbing Justin on the head. "Hey! Watch the hair." He said batting away J.C.'s hand. The five of them joked around until they got to the club were they all split up. Staying together would just attract more attention. Joey went up to the second floor were he could just hang out while Chris and Justin made their way to the dance floor. J.C. and Lance found a table near the floor and ordered a couple of drinks. "I'll have a Coke." J.C. told the waitress. He didn't want a repeat of last night. "Me too." Lance said, looking at her ass as she walked away. "That's nice." He told J.C. who was looking elsewhere. Lance followed his glance. "Why don't you go dance with him. " "What?" J.C. said snapping out of his starring session. "Well, you seemed so intent on watching him...what's your deal?" "I'm not watching him." He lied. "Look at the girl he's with." "Yeah, I figured. You always want what ya can't have. That's jail bait for you buddy, she's like 16." 'Ain't that the truth'. J.C. thought referring to the comment about wanting what he could never have. 'He's straight.' Justin looked up and waved, getting one in return from his two friends at the table. J.C. began to think about Lance's comment. 'He was just messing around. There's no way he could know. I've been with all of them for four years and no one once has called me on it. I play straight well...' Justin was getting hot. The dance floor was crowded and he was dancing like never before. He wiped the sweat off his forehead as the girl he was with rubbed her body against his. He looked over at J.C. wishing that he was the one dancing with him. Both J.C. and Lance were looking at him so he offered a friendly wave, afraid J.C. was retelling the tale of last night, including the incident in the car. 'He's probably forgot about that.' he thought. The rest of the night passed quickly, and the next thing he knew the club had thinned out and it was three o'clock in the morning. He returned to the table and slapped a resting J.C. on his back. "Let's go. I'm tired." He looked around realizing that besides Lance, the other members had left. "Where did they go?" He asked Lance as J.C. took a drink of his watered down coke. "Joey's off with some girl and Chris is talking to this guy about a computer game. I don't know where they went." The three of them took a cab back to the hotel. It was late and Justin's eyes were fighting to stay open. Before he knew what was happening, Justin's head was resting on J.C.'s shoulder. 'I could be like this forever.' J.C. thought, not wanting to move afraid he would wake him up. After he was alone in his room, J.C. curled up with the extra pillow on his bed, thinking about his friend. "I could never tell him I'm gay." He whispered. He thought about how Justin had so trustingly laid his head on his chest. He thought about how much he wanted to be holding him instead of the pillow. Justin rolled over and read the clock. 'What could wake him up at four thirty in the morning?' he thought, feeling as though something was wrong. He swung his legs over the side of the bed and threw on some pants. Slipping his shoes on he stumbled to the door and pulled it open. Before he knew what was happening he walked over to J.C.'s room and knocked on the door. He waited a couple of minutes and knocked again. "Hey man are you in there?" he asked. No answer. "J.C.? Come on, open up. " Worry filled his stomach. Terrible thoughts raced through his head. What if he was hurt? Justin got in the elevator and headed for the front desk. J.C. heard the knock on the door and threw blurry eyes looked at the alarm clock. 'Who in the hell would be pounding on my door this early in the morning?' he thought. He waited a few more minutes and heard Justin's voice. 'He's just probably hungry and wants some company.' He thought. 'If I pretend to be asleep he'll go away. I hate to ignore the guy but if I answer the door he'll know something's wrong.' He heard footsteps walk away from his door and lost himself deep in thought. Justin headed back towards J.C. 's room, afraid of what he might find. Slowly he swiped the key in the scanner, and pushed open the door. "J.C.?" He asked into the darkness. He fumbled for the light switch, dreading what he might find. The light came on and lying on the bed, J.C. faced away from him curled in a fetal position. "J.C.? Are you ok?" he asked, moving towards his friend. "I'm fine." J.C. replied. 'How dare he?' J.C. thought. "You don't look fine." Justin reached the other side of the bed where he bent down and looked his friend in his red rimed eyes. "I'm fine." J.C. replied praying that the poor light form the bathroom wouldn't give away the fact that he was crying. "What's wrong man?" "Nothing." J.C. could feel the anger and embarrassment creeping over him. 'What the hell is his problem? Why couldn't he leave me alone? " He thought. "Don't lie to me. You know you can talk to me. You freaked me out. When you didn't answer the door I thought that you were hurt or something." Justin became aware that J.C. was only wearing boxers. Quickly he averted his eyes, not wanting to think perverted thoughts when his friend was in pain. "I'm fine." J.C. said through clenched teeth, feeling bad for the way he was talking to Justin. 'I really scared the guy and he was just checking on me. I'd probably do the same thing if it had been me.' He thought. "Come on, talk to me." "There's nothing to say, I'm fine. I just feel like being alone, can't you drop it?" He was aware of how angry he sounded. Justin was getting pissed off. It wasn't like J.C. to cry and it wasn't like him to keep things from him. He never ignored him before and he couldn't help but think that he found out that he was gay. They sat there in silence, both of them feeling bad for the way they treated the other and both of them pissed off. "Fine, whatever." Justin said walking over to the hallway were he tuned out the light and slammed the door shut behind him. More than anything J.C. wanted to get up and chase after him. He wanted to cry and be held by Justin.. But instead he hugged his pillow tighter. Justin was pissed. Never in his life had he wanted to make someone feel better than J.C. He always tried to help him when he was down and now he wouldn't even talk to him. 'What have I ever done to him?' Justin thought, close to tears himself. He took off his shoes and pants, crawling back into bed he buried his face into his pillow and fell asleep. Later that afternoon, J.C. rolled over and looked at the alarm clock. 'No way I slept until three.' He thought. The whole scene earlier came rushing back to him, causing him to groan. 'You're an asshole. He told himself. 'Justin is your friend and you made him worry and pissed him off for no reason. Why the hell can't you just tell him, he'll find out sooner or later.. There's no way you can hide it much longer. One of these day's you'll be jacking off and moaning his name and he'll catch you.' With that thought he reached down to his boxers and massaged his already hard cock. He slid his hands farther down and grabbed his balls, running his fingers over them lightly. He let out a gasp as the sensation made him shiver all over. 'Stop it!' he told himself. 'You're going to have to look at Justin today and face the fact that you pissed him off and the fact that he's seen you cry like a baby.' He removed his hand from his boxers and stumbled over to the bathroom to start the shower. He got undressed and stepped in, the hot water splashing against his chest. He leaned back against the wall, thinking about what he had to say to Justin to make it right. He hoped maybe he could drop it and let it go, but Justin took things personally. 'He's like a little kid like that.' He thought. 'A cute one.' Justin lay in bed, thinking about what happened the night before. 'Did I cross a line?' he asked himself, repositioning on the bed so he lay on his stomach. 'God, l just wanted to be there for him.' He thought, grasping the pillow under his chin. He wondered what it would be like to have J.C. in bed with him. He thought about resting his head on his chest and talking about meaningless shit. "If only." He whispered. He sat up and surveyed the room, noticing the clothes lying on the backs of chairs and strewn all over the floor. "Ok so I'm a little messy" he mumbled to himself, walking over to the mirror. "Why do I love him so much?" he asked, starring intently into his own eyes looking for answers he didn't have. The rest of the guys were out for the day, catching the tourist spots on the island before they had to go back to Orlando. Lance had tried to call J.C. that morning, but no one answered the phone. J.C. sat on his bed, flipping through the channels looking for a show to watch. "Shit." he stated, getting off the bed and going to the door. He moved down the hall and knocked on Justin's door. " Hold on." a muffled voice said through the door. "Hey." Justin said when he pulled the door open. He turned around and walked into the room hoping J.C. would take the hint to follow. J.C. was hurt. 'I guess I deserve this.' He thought hesitantly stepping through the open door. "I wanted to talk to you about last night. I didn't mean to be an ass. I just had a lot of things on my mind. If I scared you I'm sorry." "Forget about it." Justin said, picking up the remote and surfing through the channels, wishing he could say something to J.C. to make him feel better. "There's nothing on TV, man. Why don't we go get something to eat. We can go get seafood or something." J.C. offered, hoping things could be cool between them again. Justin was relieved to hear him offer but a part of him wanted to be stubborn and not go. He turned the TV off and looked at his long time friend.. "I don't care." "So you're pissed off at me?" "No, I just don't care." "I come over here to apologize and you won't even look at me. What's up with that?" "You used to tell me everything." Justin said looking into J.C. 's eyes. "What was so horrible you couldn't talk about it with me?" J.C. avoided his gaze. "There's things you don't need to know that's all. Why is it such a big deal if I keep one thing to myself? I'm sure there's some things you don't tell me and I respect that." "Yeah, but none of them make me cry. I'm worried about you. " "That was a cheap shot. I'm fine. " "Bullshit." Justin turned the TV on and continued his surfing. "Look, man. I'm sorry. I just can't tell you that." "Whatever. I don't care anymore." "So you're not going to talk to me?" "No, you're the one who's not talking to me about shit." "I can't, not about this. Can't you drop it?" "What the hell is the big deal?" Justin said, flipping off the TV again. "It's just... something you wouldn't want to know about me, ok?" "What?" J.C. turned away to avoid his eyes. "What?" Justin asked, slightly alarmed. "Shit man you're scaring me." "Don't worry about it." "What the hell, you tell me you can't talk to me and it's something that bothers you enough to make you cry and then when I ask what it is you won't tell me. Man, nothing you can say will change how I see you. You're my friend." J.C. felt tears welling up in his eyes and he fought even harder to avoid Justin's stare. "Trust me, this would." "What? Did you kill someone? Shit. You're not a bad person and no matter what you did I'd still be here." J.C. looked up at his friend. "Do you really want to know?" he asked angrily.. "Yes, shit man, I told you I did." He looked up deep into Justin's eyes. "I'm gay."