Date: Sat, 04 Jan 2003 22:41:02 +0200 From: Neea P. Subject: (Boybands) Needing You chapter 29 Sorry this one took so long. I had a hellish case of writer's bock, and even my usual remedies were of no use. Also, have you noticed that holidays tend to be even busier times than work? It's the curse of having a large family... Thanks to Izzy (beta goddess - hang in there, love!), Summy (get better hon-hon and thanks for the help), Kor (my Baby with wonderful ideas), Libby, Rob and Dan, Writie, Metra, Peter, Ryan, Andy, Myoshi, Julienne, Trish, Bethany, Jimmy, Lincoln, JT, Angel, Nyn, Cindy, at, and all the other wonderful people who have graced me with their kind and helpful comments. Hell, it's to everybody who takes the time to read it! Enjoy... Disclaimer: This story is not meant to imply anything about the true sexuality or personal lives of the celebrities mentioned. Adult (m/m) content, probably foul language, don't be illegal, stuff like that. Any likeness to people personally known to me is either purely coincidental and unintended, or devoid of malevolence. NEEDING YOU CHAPTER 29 By Neqs "But I thought it would be over!" Marshall whined. Lance gave his fiance a level stare. "You thought that we'd have one night of wild celebration with our friends and some other like-minded people, freak out Carson Daly, and that would be it? Magically, instantaneously out of the closet?" Marshall fidgeted. "I...damn! I know it doesn't work like that, but I'd like it that way. Why can't I ever have things the way I want them?" Lance tried not to laugh at the rapper's whiny tone and delicious pout. He looked like an adorable ten-year-old when he pouted. The tiny freckles left from their vacation in the sun didn't add any maturity to the image, just more innocent charm "Sweetie..." Marshall tried to remain grumpy, but it was hard when Lance was using that tone of voice and nibbling the back of his neck. Still grumbling, tilted his head back to get more of Lance's mouth on his neck - an extremely sensitive area for him. Lance had sometimes jokingly wondered whether it would be possibly to make him come just by touching his neck, but they hadn't tried it...yet. "What?" "You need to lighten up. Things don't always go the way you want them to. It's no biggie unless you let it bother you. Now, let's take your mind off the unpleasant stuff, okay?" And it seemed like Lance had read his mind because he started licking, sucking, and nibbling Marshall's neck in earnest. The rapper moaned and shuddered, suddenly unsteady on his feet. "Maybe, ah, maybe we should move this to the bedroom?" "Hmm," Lance hummed in between bites that sent pleasurable shivers down Marshall's spine. "Maybe." Lance sounded breathless as well, and it was nice to know that he wasn't completely unaffected by the same emotions that made Marshall close his eyes, lean back, and arch against the dizzying touch. "I just, mm, I just don't understand why everything has to be so, oh right there, difficult and complicated," Marshall murmured distractedly as Lance guided him through the bedroom doorway. "It's because we make things difficult and complicated. Marshall, do you really want to have a philosophical discussion right here, right now?" Lance asked, torn halfway between annoyance and amusement. "Ah, now that you mention it, we can talk about that later. Just...keep doing what you're doing!" Marshall said as they toppled on the bed in a graceful heap of half-clothed bodies. Then, to Marshall's irritation, Lance pulled back and smirked. "See? Simple. Things are really simple when we get down to the basics. What we want, what we need...the rest is just a matter of perspective." "You're what I want, what I need," Marshall said huskily as he gazed at the green eyes of the man beside him. "Now get on with it, will you?" Lance chuckled. "You're too cute when you're like this, hon. Make me want to tickle you breathless and lick you all over...You know, I've always wondered whether anyone takes 'all over' literally. I mean I'm sure most people bypass the armpits and the toes, for example." "James, for fuck's sake!" Growling in frustration, Marshall rolled to straddle Lance and pinned his arms above his head. "You measure my love in how much you can make me suffer, don't you? No, don't answer that. Okay, first of all, I've licked, suckled, and nibbled on each and every one of your toes. Don't even try to pretend you don't remember! Second of all..." Marshall leaned down and cautiously sniffed at Lance's armpit. Hmm, not entirely unpleasant. He inhaled the musky aroma more decisively and buried his nose into the moist, warm hair there. He couldn't smell any chemicals, so he flicked his tongue over the half-hidden flesh inquisitively. Salty...big surprise there. Nice, though, spicy and powerful and private. Marshall was a little surprised to realize that he wasn't the least bit disgusted, despite being a neat person, but it made sense. This was Lance after all, and there was nothing disgusting about Lance - except maybe the way he picked his nose in his sleep, but even that was cute in a really weird way. He also thought that it would be a little hypocritical to be revolted by licking a guy's armpit when you've had your tongue up his ass. Marshall was just about to check under the other arm when he noticed that Lance was whimpering and squirming in his hold. Alarmed, he let go and looked up. "Jamie? Babe, are you okay?" Lance sagged back against the mattress, breathing heavily. He looked dazed and his face was flushed, but otherwise he seemed fine. "..." "James!" "...Oh God...that was, ah, amazing!" Now it was Marshall's turn to smirk. "Pervert. But yeah, that was an interesting experiment! I won't kiss you with this mouth, though..." Resuming his sprawl half on top of Lance, Marshall nibbled his way to Lance's ear, eliciting a shudder and a rumbling groan. Lance seemed to have melted into the mattress. Marshall's tongue circled the rim of his ear, his mouth detouring to suck on the soft skin behind the ear. Marshall's left hand slipped under Lance's tank top and explored his abdomen and chest. His nipples were stroked, rubbed, and pinched before being soothed again. Lance's erection was tenting his pants and he felt like a fucking teenager again. Here they lay, two grown men, experimenting with erogenous zones and petting with most of their clothes on. He didn't laugh, though; he was too busy moaning his pleasure. When Marshall's hand cupped his groin, his hips rolled in reaction and he burrowed closer to the man nipping his earlobe. "This is wonderful," he said with a smile, the warmth in his heart overpowering the heat in his groin. "What is?" Marshall breathed into his ear, sending a tingle down his spine. "Just being here, with you. Trying new things with you, learning things with you, and being silly with you. So, running the risk of repeating myself or stating the obvious, but I'd do almost anything as long as it was with you." "Almost anything, huh? Not everything?" "Well, I'm pretty sure I'd never try scat or what's-it-called, even with you." Marshall was cringing in horror and revulsion even before he could finish the sentence. "Me neither! I'm sure it gets some people going, but I'll leave it to them. Now, enough sweet talk." He ran the tips of his fingers over Lance's lips, his eyes heating up when the singer opened his mouth slightly, pulling in the ghosting fingers. He moaned as Lance alternately rolled his tongue around them and sucked them, green eyes half-lidded and glinting with desire and mischief. Drinking in the sight of his lover, Marshall felt a surge of need. Strangely, his earlier urgency hadn't diminished as much as transformed into unhurried but equally intense savoring. He licked his way from Lance's chin to his hairline, fascinated by his jawbone. He detoured to stake claim on a pulse point, but finally arrived to his destination, the beautifully curving ear still slightly moist from his earlier attentions. Leaning on one elbow, Marshall slid a thigh between Lance's and let his hands roam. He started a gentle, rocking rhythm, slowly building their already peaked passion and bringing them to a shatteringly sweet climax. Several minutes passed before either of them spoke. "That was..." Lance said, with his eyes still closed. The smile on his face would have looked silly if Marshall hadn't known he was wearing an identical one. "Yeah, it was. Always is with you," he murmured back, nuzzling Lance's smooth neck. "Ready to face the world now?" Lance asked and opened his eyes to slits. "Yeah." Marshall smiled, feeling much more cheerful now. "Let's go rock teenage America." * * * All in all, it was priceless. Lance snickered at the memory he'd savor for all eternity. The charged feel of expectation in the air when Marshall strode towards Lance, who was already chatting with Carson on camera; the completely stunned looks when the two male superstars kissed on live television; the sounds of disbelief and denial from the girls whose purpose in life had been to become either Mrs. Bass or Mrs. Mathers (the former being more numerous); and the ecstatic wailings of a redheaded girl in the back row breaking the silence. "I knew it! I knew it!" She was jumping up and down excitedly, grinning madly. "You're my favorite pairing! I totally adore you guys! I'm SO happy for you!" Lance had given her a slightly bemused but appreciative grin. Her smile had widened and her eyes shone, but after a few more bounces and victory cries she'd quieted down. The only real minus had been that they hadn't been able to surprise Carson on air. On the other hand, his reactions at the party had been hilarious as well. The members of the press had been equally shocked, and many had displayed incredulity. After all, just a short while ago there had been rumors about Marshall getting back together with Kim - he and Lance had gotten a good laugh from that one. And there were always stories about gay boy band members. Besides, Lance Bass and Eminem? Didn't really sound like a match made in Heaven. Little did they know... There were verbal attacks, of course. Talk show hosts and comedians were having a ball. Interviews with weeping fans were shown, along with tearful lamentations that their idols were no longer single. The reactions would have been as mournful even if their chosen mates had been female, perhaps even more so. In a strange way, and despite the unlikely pairing, Lance and Eminem's relationship seemed natural somehow. There was definitely no chance of it being a manufactured scheme to get more media attention. * * * They'd had a few minutes to chat with Carson before the show. "Lance, Marshall, thanks again for the great party." "I'm glad you had a good time. You seemed to be enjoying yourself, especially towards the ending," Lance said with a small smile and a suggestively arched eyebrow. Carson blushed. "Yes, I met some old friends and a few new ones. That's what parties are for, right?" he said evasively. "Right," Marshall said with a smirk. They'd been surprised to see Carson leave with a guy, but only because they'd thought that Carson was very much in the closet, maybe even in denial. Okay, effectively he was still closeted, but he seemed at least willing to crack the door open every once in awhile. He felt a little sorry for the guy, but Carson could be a little obnoxious at times. * * * Marshall swore under his breath and hid his face in his hands. He drew up his knees and curled into himself on the sofa. He felt sick, sick in his stomach and sick in his heart, as he tried to ignore the pile of fan mail on the table in front of him. Someone had been kind enough to go through his lyrics and find every single homophobic comment and slur and compile them into a list. It had taken several pages, and the scathing, spiteful letter that accompanied it took several more. And that had been one of the nicer ones. As lousy this one made him feel, some of the others were much worse - like the ones making threats on his or Lance's life. He'd always gotten letters like that, but now that they mentioned Lance as well it was a million times worse, and more terrifying than embittering. Before, it had been easy not to care, not to let it affect him - but now he couldn't help but take it personally, because the person in question was someone he loved. Marshall was proud that he no more needed to destroy things to vent his aggressions: he'd worked hard for that measure of self-restraint. Sometimes, though, it was horribly inconvenient to have to act like a mature adult when all he wanted was to scream, rage, and throw stuff around - preferably breakable stuff that made loud crashing noises when it shattered. The rage washing over him was actually a mixture of fear, shame, anger, and self-recrimination. After all, this mess was all his doing. He'd written the lyrics, he'd voiced the slurs, and he'd acted like a violent lunatic. He'd dragged Lance into the mess that was his life. He soiled everything he touched: he didn't mean to, but somehow he always managed to ruin everything. Sometimes, he couldn't remember a moment accomplishment that wasn't tinged with bitterness. Even his lightest days had dark edges, and for him, every cloud held at least a few drops of icy rain. Marshall didn't move from his huddled position when he heard Lance come in. "Honey, what's the matter?" For a moment Marshall didn't answer. When he looked up at Lance's worried face, he felt his face try and fail to form a smile. His pained eyes searched Lance's face before he spoke. "James, why do you love me?" Lance looked like he wanted to laugh, but the incredulity on his face faded into solemnity as he took in the sadness pooling in his lover's blue eyes. "How can you ask something like that? I love you because you're you. Because you're sweet, smart, and loving. Because you like Jane Austen and Chinese food. Because you do crazy stuff for me, and because you love me. I love you because I can't help loving you." Marshall felt a surge of love with Lance's words said in that intense, sincere tone, but he soon deflated under the weight of his dark thoughts. "I'm nothing but trouble. I affect people strangely, taint them or something. Kim once said that I'm poison. I ruined her life, made her do all the things I hate her for - I don't want to do that to you too," Marshall said, his voice full of hopelessness and sorrow, his expression haunted. Lance made a wounded sound and immediately moved to enfold Marshall in his arms. When the other man just hunched further down and tried to pull back, Lance murmured to him soothingly and tried to surround Marshall with his love. "Baby, it hurts me to hear you talk like that," Lance whispered into Marshall's hair. "See, now I'm hurting you! I always make a mess of things." "That's bullshit, Em! You're hurting, and that means I'm hurting as well. It follows naturally from the fact that I love you! I love you and you're insulting me by doubting that love, and by belittling the man I love." When Marshall tried to apologize again, Lance silenced him with a tender kiss and a quick smile, which made Marshall lose some tenseness. "Now, what brought this on?" Lance asked and tightened his arms around Marshall reassuringly. Marshall gestured at the pile of mail. "Just some horrible fan reactions. Awful." Lance cocked his head. " Well, your fans are pretty horrible anyway, right?" Marshall's head shot up and his eyes sparkled with sudden anger. "You don't know what you're talking about, my fans are great! Sure, there are a few sick fuckers who make me sick, but they're not my fans. They're just people who think they have the right to spew poison at me just because they've seen me on TV. I say fuck them! My real fans will stick with me no matter what, and..." Marshall forgot what he was about to say when he saw the big, smug smirk on Lance's face. Realization dawned, slow but sure. "You didn't..." "Sometimes you just need a kick in the rump to get you on the right track. 'A few sick fuckers,' huh? Your 'real fans' will stick with you 'no matter what.' There you go!" His depression dispersed and his anger deflated, and Marshall shook his head. He laughed in amazement, stubbornly trying to fight the smile climbing his face. "You're really something, baby. Every time I turn around, you remind me why I love you so fucking much." Lance chuckled, pleased with his success, eyes sparkling with merriment and love. "You love me because I'm so...damned...hot..." Lance's voice lowered with each of the last three words until the husky rumble of the last one made Marshall shiver and start to salivate. Lance's eyes made an instant transformation from humor and affection to searing, seductive heat. Marshall swallowed and leaned closer to his irresistible fiance, unable to break the eye contact. "That too, lover, that too..." TBC... Comments are greatly appreciated. Please send some to nea_1@hotmail.com if you have time. Even a short note lightens up my day and encourages to write. I take requests if I find them interesting, and I often do. Thanks for the wonderful feedback I've received so far!