Date: Mon, 28 Jun 2004 17:20:43 -0400 From: JT Poole Subject: Boybands - Never Too Much - 8 DISCLAIMER: I don't know any of the members of NSYNC or the BSB. I don't know anything about their sexual orientation or the orientation of any other celebrities in this story (even though I wish some of them were gay). This story is fiction and you shouldn't take it for anything else but that. This is only for entertainment value only folks. Hope you enjoy the show oh I mean reading. "Even if you give me all your love, even if you give me all your kisses, it will be never..." Keyshia Cole Never Too Much Chapter by JT Poole // Fernandina Beach -- Baptist Medical Center -- JT's Hospital Room // --- Dan's POV --- We had been sitting out in the waiting room for hours after we got JT here. The doctor said that they had stopped the bleeding and stitched up his wrist. The doctor also told us that they had given him a sedative to calm him down, saying that he was doing everything in his power to stop them from doing their job to fix him up. After a few hours had passed, Justin, Nick and Chris decided to go back to the house, leaving Ashley and me here to keep an eye on JT. I think Ashley decided to stay here to keep an eye on me. I guess I will check to see how he's doing now. "Baby how are you feeling?" I ask, holding his hand in mine. "What's going on, where am I?" He asked, looking around. "No!!!!!!!" "Baby what's wrong? Why did you scream?" I ask him, looking at him closely as Ashley and one of the nurses walked into the room. "What's going on in here Dan?" Ashley asked me, as the nurse got over to JT and started taking his vitals. "Hello Mr. Poole, how are you feeling?" The nurse asks him, as he turns away from her. "Could everybody just leave me alone, go away!" He screams, snatching his arm away from the nurse. "JT she's only trying to get your vitals." I tell him. "Everyone get out!" He screams again. "Including me?" I ask him. "You included." He spoke with malice in his voice. "But..." I started to say, but he cut me off. "No buts, just go away. Don't ever come back." He says, turning away. "I...okay, I will go." I say as I drop my head and walk out of the room, with Ashley hugging me. "He doesn't love me, why?" "I don't know Dan, I don't know." Ashley says to me as he pulls out his phone and calls Chris. "Baby can you come pick me and Dan up please? Yeah just come get us. Okay bye." "I'm gonna stay here. You go back with Chris. I am not going to give up on him that easily." I tell him, pulling away walking back towards JT's room. "But Dan you heard him, he doesn't want you here." Ashley states, walking behind me. "I am not giving up, I am staying by his side rather he likes it or not." I say, opening the room to the door. "Dan please, I don't want you to get hurt." Ashley said to me, grabbing me by the arm. "No Ash, I am staying. You can leave if you want, but I love him and I am not going to throw this away because he's having a bad time right now. Trust me, he wants me here with him." I say as Ashley stood outside the room as I entered and sat down in the chair next to his bed. "What are you doing here?" He asks me. "I am not leaving you JT. I don't care what you say to me, I am not leaving. This isn't you. Why do you want me to leave you?" I ask him. "You shouldn't be here." He weakly spoke to me. "Why shouldn't I be baby?" I ask him, grabbing his hand. "Because I don't deserve you, I don't deserve to be here, I should be dead. Why couldn't you just leave well enough alone?" He asked, pulling his hand away from me. "Because I love you. Don't you see that JT? I love you, I know we haven't been together long, or known each other long for that matter, but I truly love you and I don't care what you believe, I believe we should be together. I don't know why you don't think you deserve me, but you do." I tell him, grabbing his hand again and holding on tight to it. "Because you don't deserve me, you deserve someone better than me." He tells me. "There isn't anyone better than you. You are the person that I want and need." I tell him. "I...I..." He stutters. "Nothing." I tell him. "I love you and we are going to get through this. I just need to tell me why you felt you had to do this?" "I don't know why, I just needed to be put to rest." He tells me, tears streaming down the side of his face. "Is Lance responsible for your feelings?" I ask him. "Lance isn't involved." He tells me. "Then what is? Why did you want to leave me here all alone without you?" I ask him tears streaming down my face as well. "I'm sorry Dan, I was thinking...I just wanted all my pain to go away." He says reaching up to touch my tear streaked cheek. "I don't know where my mind went, but I know where my heart is." "Where is your heart?" I ask, standing up now as he sat up in bed. "It's with you Dan Miller." He spoke, getting out of the bed and hugging me. "Please forgive me Dan, don't let this be the end of us." "What? This isn't the end of us, this is just a bump in the road that we will get through together." I tell him as he kisses me. "I love you Dan Miller." He tells me. "I love you JT Poole." I tell him as the nurse comes in along with the doctor. "Hello Mr. Poole, I am Doctor Shafter, how are you feeling right now?" The doctor asked, picking up JT's chart. "How do you expect me to feel?" He spoke to the doctor with sarcasm dripping from his words. When can I get out of this place?" "Well I will take that as a you don't know how you feel." The doctor spoke. Your wrist will heal up and have a scar in about a week or two, but the main problem is your mind and soul needs healing. I don't know how long that will take. I have arranged for you to speak with the hospital therapist in the morning. After you speak with him, then and only then will I be able to release you." "Oh fucking great, like I really want to talk with a shrink." He said, rolling his eyes. "Well talking to that shrink is the only way you are getting out of here." The doctor stated, writing something on JT's chart. "I don't know what's going on in your life Mr. Poole, but I pray that you get help, from what I heard from your friend and the others that were here, you are a very much loved person." "Whatever." He told the doctor. "Baby I do love you and so does the others." I tell him, caressing the side of his face. "I don't deserve love." He spoke, making me wonder why he would say that when he just had apologized about his actions beforehand. "Baby we just talked about this, why are you changing your mind now?" I ask him. "I was wrong. Thinking about everything that has happened, the things that I have lost, I am ready to return to the Earth." He tells us, sitting down on the edge of the bed. "Baby you were not wrong. You haven't lost everything." I say to him as he gets back up and look me in the eye. "You don't know what I have lost." He says to me in a very inhumane voice that sounded very scary. "Baby please, listen to me, I..." I start, but he cuts me off again. "You can't do anything for me. You can't solve my problems, no one can. The only thing that can make everything else right is my death. Once I am dead, everything will be better." He tells us, lying back down in bed as he ripped the bandages from his wrist and started clawing at it with his fingernails. "Baby stop!" I scream, trying to stop him from opening the cut in his wrist. "Nurse! Nurse I need a sedative in here quick!" The doctor called down to the nurses' station. "Get away from me! Get the hell away from me! Just leave me alone!" He screamed, kicking and thrashing around as the doctor tried to hold him down in the bed. "Get off of me!" "Doctor please you are hurting him!" I exclaimed, trying to pull the doctor off of JT as he pushed me back. "Nurse where's that sedative I called for?" The doctor asked, speaking into the bedside speaker. "Here doctor." The same nurse from earlier spoke, walking into the room and handing the doctor the syringe of medication. "There that should do the trick." The doctor spoke as JT calmed down and stopped struggling. "Is he going to be alright?" I ask, stepping closer to the bed. "He's going to sleep for the next few hours." The doctor spoke. "I don't know what's causing him to keep acting this way, but I am notating his chart and requesting that he be placed into a mental institution for observation for a short time." "What? You are going to institutionalize him?" I ask. "I think he needs to be someplace where he can come to terms with what's going on within his life." The doctor spoke, writing more stuff on JT's chart. // FB Police Department // "Look when am I getting out of here?" Lance asked, walking back in forth in the room. "Look kid just sit back down and be quiet, your lawyer is busy talking right now." The officer spoke, standing in the doorway looking at Lance. "I am not a fucking kid, I need to get the fuck out of here." Lance spoke as the officer walked into the room. "If I tell you to shut up again I will put you in a cell now shut up and sit down." The officer spoke, turning and walking back out of the room. "Fucking bastard." Lance spoke sitting back in the chair. "Mr. Bass, I'm sorry to keep you waiting, but the bail hearing lasted longer that I thought it would." The man spoke, extending his hand to Lance. "Whatever. Can I go home now?" Lance asked. "Well no you can't, you are under arrest and you are staying here until tomorrow morning, at which time you will have your bail hearing." The man spoke as Lance jumped from his seat. "What? You must be kidding me." Lance spoke, pacing back and forth again. "I can't stay in here all night, something bad will happen to me." "I'm sorry Mr. Bass, but I can't get you out of here. You ran from the police and tried to destroy evidence when they presented it to you upon your request. With those actions, I can't do anything to get you out of here." The man spoke. "What am I paying you for if you can't get me out of here?" Lance asked. "Well sir there is no present legal way that I can get you out of jail with the current charges you have pending against you." The man spoke. "You will just have to keep an eye out for yourself until morning." "Oh fucking great. Going to jail because of something that I was set up for." Lance spoke. "Mr. Bass I have heard the evidence against you. You tried to score drugs from an undercover vice officer. That alone is just a fine, but once you ran from the police and tried to destroy the tape recording, that turned into something more." The man spoke. "What the fuck ever. I suggest you get me out of here or else." Lance spoke, staring the man up and down. "Or else what Mr. Bass?" The man asked. "You're fired that's what." Lance spoke. "I suggest you get other council sir." The man spoke picking up his briefcase and walking towards the door. "Fine go. I will tell the judge you abandoned me in here and when I do get out I will slap a lawsuit on you and your firm." Lance spoke. "Do what you must sir, but if that defense won't hold up in court." The man spoke, pointing to the mirror on the wall. "At least I have witness to what you have said." "Oh Fuck..." Lance spoke, sliding down in the chair. // Back at the Beach House // "Hi guys how is JT doing?" Justin asked as Chris and Ashley walked in. "He's getting worse from what the doctor said. The doctor thinks he has some kind of depression that is causing him to want to die." Chris spoke. "Oh man. How is Dan taking it?" Nick asked. "I don't know. He's trying to be strong and stay by his side, but I don't think he's going to be strong for long." Ashley spoke. "Don't doubt him baby, I think Dan is going to turn JT's problems around, whatever those problems may be." Chris spoke. "Has Lance been back here?" "No not yet. We thought you guys might have heard from him or something." Justin spoke. "Where the hell could he be? No one has heard from him since this morning before this other stuff started. "How is Jake holding up?" Ashley asked. "He hasn't been down here. I heard him go to the bathroom earlier, but he hasn't come down here for anything." Nick spoke. "I am starting to think this was a bad idea." Chris spoke. "No it wasn't a bad idea, just a lot of bad crap and Scoop is to blame." Justin spoke just as Chris' cell phone started ringing. "Hello?" Chris spoke, answering his phone. "You are where? Great just great. I ought to let you rot in there." "What's that all about?" Justin asked. "Lance is in jail." Chris spoke. "Why is he in jail?" Ashley asked. "Yeah why?" Justin asked. "He said attempt to purchase and something else." Chris spoke, standing up again. "We have to go see him Justin." "At this time of night?" Justin asked. "Well he wants us to come." Chris spoke. "I don't think the police will let us see him at this time. I think we should wait until morning." Justin spoke. "Maybe you're right. But I don't want to think of something happening to Lance in jail." Chris spoke. "Maybe you should go see him, if the police won't let you, well at least you tried." Ashley spoke. "You have a point." Chris spoke, looking at Justin. "Oh alright let's go." Justin spoke, placing a kiss on Nick's lips as he and Chris walked out of the door. "This night just keeps getting worse and worse." Nick spoke, walking towards the kitchen. "I'm going to make a snack, you want something?" "Sure, I am hungry again." Ashley spoke as he and Nick walked into the kitchen. // Back at the hospital // --- Dan's POV --- I've been sitting here fort he last two hours watching him sleep. God what' s wrong with him? Why all of a sudden he wants to die? I thought he loved me as much as I loved him? Am I making a big mistake in all of this? Is he the one for me? "Yes I am the one for you." He spoke, opening his eyes and reaching for my hand. "What?" I say, looking at him strangely, wondering why he said that. "I am the one for you." He said again. "You just asked was he the one for me. I answered, I am the one for you." "How did you know I was thinking that?" I ask him. "Just a strange gift from God I guess." He says, trying to move but couldn' t because of the restraints. "Why can't I move?" "The restraints. It's for your protection." I tell him, pressing the call button on the side of the bed to alert the nurse. "Why am I restrained?" He asked. "You tried to hurt yourself again earlier so the doctor had you restrained." I tell him. "Why do you keep hurting yourself baby?" "I don't know. One minute I am happy thinking about you and the next all I see and feel is darkness and hatred." He tells me. "Darkness and hatred? Why?" I ask, very concerned about hearing his answer. "I don't know why." He tells me. "But you just said one minute you are happy thinking about me. What causes you to get filled with this darkness and hatred so quickly?" I ask him, just as the nurse and the doctor walk into the room. "I don't know Dan, I just know that I love you and don't want to loose you." He tells me. "I hear your words, but are they real?" I ask him, thinking of the events of the whole day. "Yes my words are real, why do you ask such a thing?" He asks me. "Because if you loved me you wouldn't want to die." I tell him as I get up and walk over to the window and stare out, not really looking at anything in particular. "I love you Dan, I really do. I just don't know what's going on, please help me Dan." He says, struggling with the restraints. "Calm down Mr. Poole, everything's going to be okay." The doctor spoke pulling from his pocket another syringe. "No doctor don't." I say, running back over to the bed to stop the doctor. "He's not trying to hurt himself he's just talking to me. "Stop it Mr. Miller I am trying to do my job here." The doctor spoke. "Your job isn't to keep him drugged out of his mind." I tell him, stopping him. "Just please let me loose. I promise I won't try anything, I just want to hug him." He says sounding defeated. "That's all I want is to hold him." "I'll be watching you." The doctor spoke, undoing the restraints. "Don't make me regret this. If you do something strange I am having you moved to the mental ward and locking you up." "I promise I won't do anything wrong. I just want to be with him." He says, looking over at me, tears running down his cheeks. "Okay." The doctor says releasing him and stepping away from the bed. "I don't want to lock you away Mr. Poole." "You won't have to." He says, reaching for me. "Baby please don't make him regret releasing you from the restraints." I say to him sitting on the edge of the bed as we hugged each other. "I promised I wouldn't do anything." He says, kissing me. "Good don't, I want to be able to be with you." I tell him, holding his hand in mine. "I love you and I want to have you around forever." "Forever?" He says. "Yes forever silly. If I could I would marry you right now." I tell him as his eyes went wide. "You can't marry me..." He says. "Why can't I marry you?" I ask as the doctor steps closer to us. "Because I am in a hospital. It's hard to get married in a hospital." He said cracking a smile, the first smile I have seen since early morning. "Well if you weren't in a hospital I would marry you silly." I tell him. "Then there would be two married couples in the house right now." He says. "What happened to Chris and Ashley? Are they still here?" "No, unfortunately they got tired and went back to the house." I tell him. "I bet they told the others that I have gone crazy and lost my mind." He says, rolling his eyes at me. "I don't think they would do that." I tell him. "I do know that Justin is very worried about you." "Justin? Worried about me? Do you have the right person?" He asks. "Yeah Justin Timberlake. The tall guy with the gruff look." I say to him as he gives me a strange look. "What's that look for baby" "I never knew Justin cared. It's always been me Jamie and Chris, then Ashley, but never Justin. He never hung out with us, nor did he act friendly towards me." He said, still wearing that strange expression. "Well he was worried so that's that. Maybe he doesn't know how to show you that he's your friend. Sometimes you do keep to yourself and not let people in. It has taken me two years to get with you. I have been in love with you for so long. Every time I wanted to talk to you, I couldn't because you always ran off or you distanced yourself from everyone around." I explain to him as he looked away. "I knew you were in love with me, just like I am in love with you. I figure that out a long time ago." He tells me. "How did you figure it out?" I ask him. "I overheard you and Ashley talking one day in the cafeteria about it." He tells me smiling at me. "You knew, then why didn't you talk to me if you already knew how I felt?" I ask him. "Because I was scared to." He says, holding his head down. "Well I wasn't going to bite you unless you asked me to." I tell him, lifting his chin and placing a kiss on his lips. "All that time that has gone by that we could have been together." I tell him as we held our embrace longer than expected. "Well that doesn't matter, we are together now." I tell him as he yawns. "You getting sleeping again?" I ask him. "Yeah, but this time I would love to have my `boyfriend' almost husband lying next to me. I know you are sleepy too, I can see it in your eyes." He says, kissing me on the cheek and sliding over in the bed for me. "Baby I don't think this is a good idea. This bed is just for you and you only." I tell him. "Right now it's for us and us only. Now lie down and don't argue with me." He says, kissing me again as I lay next to him in the bed. TO BE CONTINUED... Comments or Suggestions Contact Information E-Mail: jtpoole9@nctv.com Website: http://12.158.100.94/hosted.htm Yahoo: johntpoole AOL/AIM: swainsboroguy2@aol.com ICQ #: 146925768