Date: Wed, 23 Aug 2000 14:17:29 EDT From: Garrett Sparks Subject: Next Window Please - Chapter One: Now I'm left with all this pain Okay, I have been actively reading these boy band stories for a while now and absolutely love them; so, I had to jump in the fray with my own. I don't think this one is terribly original in many ways - it's a simple love story. This section has no real sex (sorry!) - I just need to set up the tale a little first. I'm a writer so I gotta have exposition. This section concentrates mainly on Lance (my fav) but I will slowly incorporate the rest of NSYNC and maybe other boy bands. Please be patient with this and let me know if you have any suggestions or comments. I really don't know where this story will head - I do know it will be a love story between two of the NSYNCers (Lance, obviously, and the other TBA). So, please enjoy. I offer the normal warnings - you gotta be legal to read this. You also have to be open- minded. I don't know any of the people mentioned in this story (although I few I would love to know intimately!), and therefore, don't know their sexual preferences. I want to send a special thanks to nsyncgrrl (all I ever wanted and her great website), whose stories I have had the distinct pleasure of reading and who has inspired me to just write away. Please send me any comments to Xander874@hotmail.com. I love to hear from people. Enjoy! Chapter One - Now I'm left with all this pain "I don't know what to say, James". Diane Bass sat down on the couch across from her son, "You know how I feel about that. I love you, son. But, my beliefs tell me it's wrong. I'm so confused right now." Lance sighed, "I know it's a lot to digest mom. I just had to tell you." Diane looked up, "Who else knows?" "You're the first person I've told." Suddenly, Diane got worried, "You're going to have to tell people, if you insist on living this way. The other boys, your management - oh my. This could ruin your career." Lance stood up, "I'm not planning on outing myself to the world. I don't care for them to know. But, I do want those people close to me to know. I intend on telling everyone.someday." "This is going to break your father's heart, James." Diane said solemnly. Lance walked over to the fireplace mantle and ran his fingers across a picture of him and his dad, taken on a camping trip when Lance was eight, "I know," was all he could say in reply. Lance went back to his mother and sat next to her. He took her hand. She flinched slightly at his touch. Lance felt slightly rejected, but calmed down when she relaxed and accepted his hold. They sat in silence for a minute before the sound of Jim Bass' truck came roaring up the driveway. Lance and his mother looked at each other. He noted she appeared calm, but underneath her eyes, he could tell she was petrified. He gave her an assured look, "It's now or never". Jim Bass, a spitting image of his only son, with a few more gray hairs and a few extra pounds walked into the living room of his house and immediately saw something was wrong. His wife appeared calm, but her eyes looked as if she was about to burst into tears. He looked to Lance who had stood up to greet him. "What's going on?" he asked as he hung up his jacket. It was warm outside, but he still felt a slight chill as Lance walked up to him and gave him a hug. Jim returned the hug and looked at his son. He was about to get bad news and the thought of it made his stomach turn. Lance backed away and just blurted out what was on his mind, "Dad, I'm gay". Lance looked at his dad for a moment as he said nothing. He couldn't tell what his father was feeling, but the longer he took, the more scared he got. Less than a minute had gone by (which felt like twenty to Lance) before his father simply said in a calm and quiet voice, "Get out". Lance was shocked by the calmness, but not surprised by the statement. He had expected it, but it still hit him like a ton of bricks. The next few minutes were a blur, but he remembered grabbing his jacket and running out to his car. He thought he heard the sound of his mother crying and his dad screaming, but he may have been mistaken. He didn't care though. He just had to get away. He pulled out of the driveway with no idea where he was going. Laurel, Mississippi was a small town, although until Lance had joined NSYNC, he never realized it. The places he had been in the last five years had opened his eyes to a whole new world. It had also made him realize things about himself. He had never even met a truly gay person before he went on the road, even though he knew the town had plenty of them. His first real experience with homosexuality had come when he was just fourteen years old. His days in a band were a couple of years away and Lance bided his time as a normal high-schooler. Unfortunately, his tale didn't involve some next-door neighbor or high school quarterback: his first experiences with this lifestyle were something he didn't think he'd tell anyone about during his lifetime. Laurel had a small park, on the outskirts of town that used to be a hangout for what he later discovered were called "cruisers". Lance didn't understand the concept. He had found the place accidentally during one of his many solitary biking excursions. He often liked to go out alone so he could think about things and figure exactly what was up with his life. This one day, it was near dusk and he ended up at the park, where he noticed that several parked cars and trucks were lined up along the entrance. Most of these cars had people sitting behind the wheel. Lance thought some meeting was going on and walked his bike through the lot towards the woods. As he walked by one truck, he noticed a fairly young looking guy staring at him. As he passed, the guy got out of the truck and began following Lance. He thought this guy might be a mugger or something, but something inside of him twinged and he led the guy off to a secluded area. He wouldn't exactly call what they had sex: the guy sucked Lance off and then jacked himself while Lance stood there in disbelief. He knew about blowjobs, but had never experienced one, and from a man no less. He was so freaked out by the whole thing that he ran off crying and hadn't been to the park since. It was now, as he drove down the highway leading out of town, that he passed the entrance to that park. He noticed a couple of trucks sitting in the lot and immediately knew what they were there for. He briefly considered stopping - not so much because he was horny, but because he knew that there he would get some attention and the thought of being wanted appealed to him right then, considering his parents had pretty much disowned him. Still, he knew he would be taking a huge risk if he went to the park. Someone might see him and word would get out. Not that the guys there (most of whom he knew were married by the rings they wore) would tell anything, for fear of having to explain themselves; but, his fame was too great to take a risk. Lance laughed to himself. Five years ago, he was an amateur, dressing up in dig costumes and singing to kids. Now, he was an international star. And he could end it all by being his true self. Life sucked sometimes. Lance noticed he was now at the highway. He decided to keep going. He had to get away from this place. He could live without the clothes he had brought for his week-long stay with his parents (which ended tonight with two left). He had to get back to Orlando and his own house. Orlando was just as hot and muggy as Mississippi had been. When Lance got to his house, he noticed he had only two messages. Everyone knew he was at his parents and could reach him there, and he was relieved, since he had been driving all night and just wanted to collapse. The first message stopped him cold. "Lance, I hope you get this," it was his mom, "I'm not sure if you drove back home or what, but I'm worried about you," There was a pause, "So is your father." Bullshit, Lance thought to himself. The message continued, "Please call me. I love you." Lance suddenly found himself crying and cursed himself for even caring about them. Sure his mom had been as supportive as she could, but he didn't need a half-assed attempt - he needed full acceptance. Maybe later he could deal with that, but now, he just needed a friend. Which made the second message all the more exciting. It was Justin, "Howdy Scoop! I figured you were still at your mom and dad's but I was too lazy to try and find their number and this isn't all that important. Just wanted to let you know Joey's in town a little early and we're gonna be hanging out until we meet back up for rehearsal. So, if you get in before Friday, call me at my mom's". Lance smiled as he erased the messages. It was now Wednesday and he did want to see the guys. He wasn't necessarily ready to tell them he was gay, but he did want to be around the guys. Now, this wasn't really a sexual thing, although Lance did find all the guys attractive in their own ways. Lance tended to get crushes on guys when he first met them and slowly that would develop into friendships. He never acted on the crushes, since he knew they were minor, and he honestly thought it helped him be closer to the guys. The first NSYNCer he developed a crush on had, surprisingly, been Chris. Lance was just a teenage when he joined the band and Chris was this mature adult. This grew into a brotherly love, although Chris sometimes acted the most childish of them all. That playful quality led to his short crush on Joey, who was so nice to him when they were starting out. That also grew into brotherly love. Then there were Lance and JC. Lance waffled between these two for awhile. Both of the guys, in his opinion, were incredibly hot, and by the way the fans responded, he wasn't alone. And the guys were so nice to him too. Just and Lance were only two years apart and they practically spent their adolescence together. Josh was just a sweet guy. Lance loved the all guys, but it never got beyond those initial crushes. He knew that developing a love for any of the guys was out of the question, as it would more than likely cause more problems that it was worth. In fact, Lance didn't even know if any of the guys were gay. He doubted it, although each one had their fey qualities from time to time. He likened that to the fact that they were so close and open and didn't feel the need to be macho around each other. Lance's gaydar sucked and he knew that. Sure, he could tell some of the management guys were gay, but that was pretty obvious. And he figured speculating on the others was a wasted venture. So, he just enjoyed being their friends. But, right now, all he wanted was sleep. He'd call Justin when he got up. But, first, he called his mom. Luckily for him (so as to avoid a fight), no one was home, or they weren't answering. He left a message telling his mom (and he emphasized that) that he was home and fine and would call her later. The later the better, he thought. Lance went into his bedroom, leaving a trail of clothes along the way. As he collapsed in the bed, he felt a tear run down his cheek. His life was never going to be the same again. There it is - part one! I'm not sure if this is too long or too short, but it's what I wanted to say at this point. I know it is pretty Lance-centric, but more characters will be introduced in part two - if I get some positive feedback - so please mail me!!!!!!!!!!!