Date: Thu, 07 Sep 2000 11:58:54 EDT From: Garrett Sparks Subject: Next Window Please - Chapter 12 Here cometh the next chapter...you know the drill...underagers go away...I do not know NSYNC's lifestyle choices - the story isn't real (as much as I wish it was)...enjoy! Chapter 12 - I was such a fool Lance stared at the ceiling, not really thinking about anything. Not that he didn't have a million things on his mind at the moment, but right then, he just wanted to not think about the events that had happened over the last few days. Sure, his reunion with his mom had been okay, and the management seemed to be under control, but Lance still felt a little uneasy and he couldn't quite place it. Great, he thought as he sat up on the bed, now I'm thinking. Guess that was a futile effort. He climbed off the bed and walked into the bathroom. JC had gotten up a couple of hours ago. He was doing some mixing for someone's album and wouldn't be back until dinnertime. Lance felt bad that he didn't even know who JC was working with, considering he had been told several times; but, Lance was in such a funk at the moment, he tended to not remember things. As he brushed his teeth, he tried to figure out what was getting to him. Sure, things were more complicated now, but he had been preparing for that. And JC and the other guys had been rocks through everything that was going on. Lance didn't know for sure. He guessed he was just in one of his moods and he would snap out of it soon. Lance wasn't a moody guy - that honor went to Justin - but, occasionally he would get a little depressed and withdrawn from the others. He attributed this to his hiding the truth about himself. So, why was he feeling this way now? Lance went back into the bedroom and started getting dressed. It was eleven o'clock and the suite was silent. Rehearsal had gone so well that week, that Fatima had given them Friday off, giving them a four-day weekend. After Labor Day, on Tuesday, they would begin rehearsal in New York for the awards. Lance silently dreaded the awards. He hoped that the guys would win at least one of the awards. People had said they had the viewer's choice locked up, but Lance wanted to get something besides that. Not that he didn't love the fact that the fans supported him; but, another award would mean some sort of validation from his peers. For all the albums they had sold and all the money they had made, NSYNC was still not taken seriously in the music community. After finishing dressing, Lance walked out of the bedroom, trying to remember where the other guys were. Justin was meeting up with Brittany for lunch, this much he knew for sure. He had constantly been trying to push them together since Justin had told him he had feelings for her and he thought things were heading that way. Chris and Joey had gone off on a shopping spree and Lance remembered being awakened at some point and asked if he wanted to go. He had refused and went back to sleep. Now, he was alone and he somewhat relished the idea. He liked being solitary when he was depressed and that was a rarity these days. Not that he had been this way lately. Sure, he had his ups and downs, but this particular mood had not surfaced for months. He should have been very happy at this point. He was in love. This thought made Lance long to see Josh; so, he thought he would head down to the studio and see if he wanted to grab lunch. He thought long and hard and remembered where JC was working and caught a cab to take him there. The studio was a small one and Lance easily snuck in. JC was in the largest studio in the back of the building and didn't even notice Lance when he walked in. Lance took a seat in the control booth, watching JC as he and another guy sat discussing the recording being played at that moment. The voice was female, yet he couldn't see any women in the area. Lance didn't fully understand the whole record production concept, even though he preferred being behind the scenes. He was more a manager guy. Like Johnny. And he knew he had plenty of time to learn everything he needed to know. JC glanced over and saw Lance sitting there. He flashed him a smile and turned to the guy standing with him, "Hey Ty, why don't we take a quick break?" Ty nodded and headed out of the door. Lance went to JC and attempted to hug him, but JC backed away. JC saw Lance's confused face and spoke, "We really can't do that here. I don't know most people here and don't know if they'd be cool with that," Lance frowned, but JC grabbed his chin and lifted it up. He grinned, "You understand. I'm just a little paranoid after the meeting the other day ". Lance understood, but it still hurt, the way Josh backed away so quickly. He knew JC cared for him, but he couldn't help but dislike it. So, he changed the subject, "So, I thought I would take my favorite guy to lunch". JC wrinkled his nose, "I would love to, but we have so much to do before the weekend and I want to get it done". Lance felt even worse. This was not something he wanted to hear in his depressed state. He knew JC was being purposely mean or evasive. JC saw Lance's sad expression, "Look, the sooner I get done here, the more time I'll have to spend with you tonight," he leaned into Lance and whispered in his ear, "All night". Lance half-smiled at this and Ty walked back in the room. JC backed away again, sending Lance over the edge. He was now upset and hated himself for being so sensitive. So, he just smiled at JC, "I'll be leaving now. Have fun". He walked out of the room before JC could say a word. He caught a cab back to the hotel, where he immediately walked into his bedroom and collapsed on the sofa, returning to his earlier position of staring at the ceiling. Lance heard Joey and Chris come back and they peeked their head in his room, but Lance acted like he was asleep. Justin returned an hour later and also stuck his head in. Lance still feigned sleep. Finally, about five, JC walked into the suite. He exchanged words with the guys for a minute. He heard Justin say something to the effect of "Lance has been sleeping all day...is he okay?" JC replied that he didn't know and Lance heard the concern in his voice. Although Lance felt the love emitting from JC's words, he still wasn't ready to deal with anyone, even his boyfriend. But, he knew it was inevitable. So, when JC entered the room with Justin, Lance sat up on the bed, "Hey guys," he whispered. JC sat down next to Lance and he could see that both he and Justin were concerned. JC looked at him and Lance began to melt upon seeing those clear blue eyes of his. The problems began to disappear, but he quickly snapped back into his gloomy state. "What's wrong Scoop? Are you feeling okay?" Justin asked. "I'm fine," Lane said trying to sound that way but failing miserably, "I'm just having an off day". "Well, is there anything I can do to make it better," JC asked, kissing Lance lightly on the ear. Lane pulled away, "No, I just need to deal with things. I'll be fine. Don't worry." And with that, he got up and walked into the bathroom. He shut the door, locked it, and lowered himself onto the floor. He wasn't sure if he wanted to cry or not. He put his ear to the door and listened to his friends talking about him. "I'm worried, man. He doesn't seem himself". JC said. "You know how he can get sometimes. He's in one of his moods. He'll snap out of it". JC sighed, "Well, I'm still worried". He heard Justin giggle, "Aren't you just cute? Tell me, did you talk to your mom this morning?" "Yeah, I called her back at the studio. She has been so great with this thing. At first, I was really worried, but both of my parents have been so cool". That's when it hit Lance. He knew why he was upset. It was about his dad. He had tried to push the anger and sadness he had about his father in the back of his mind and it was festering there, causing him to be sad. Hearing JC talk about how great and accepting his parents was getting to him. He couldn't really blame Josh - he didn't fully know what was going on with Lance. Even though they were experiencing similar things with coming out, this was something Lance was dealing with alone. It all made perfect sense. He got in these moods when he was forced to hide his pain and that's exactly what he was doing. But, he didn't feel he could talk about it with Lance. He may be sympathetic, but he couldn't truly understand him. No one could. And this made him even more unhappy. Suddenly, there was a knock at the door and Lance heard JC, "Hon, are you okay in there?" Lance stood up, "Yeah, I'll be out in a second". Lance went to the mirror to make sure he looked okay and then headed out into the bedroom. Justin was gone and JC was lying on the bed. JC patted the space next to him and motioned for Lance to join him. Lance lied down on the bed next to JC, who squeezed him tightly. JC leaned in and kissed the back of Lance's neck. He then spoke, "I have an idea about how we could spend the weekend. Why don't we go to my parents place? They really want to spend time with you -you know, as my boyfriend and not just my bandmate." Lance sat up, "No," he stated bluntly. JC got up and looked at him, "That sounds pretty decisive". Lance began pacing, "It is. I don't want to go there this weekend". JC walked over and grabbed Lance's arms, "Can I ask why your so opposed to this?" Lance was frustrated and pushed JC, "I just don't want to spend three days frolicking with your Leave it to Beaver family, okay?" "That's not fair, Lance," JC said, trying to hide his growing anger, "What is this really about?" Lance screamed, "Just drop it, alright! It's my problem. I'll deal!" He didn't look at JC, but instead stormed out of the room. He didn't stop, but headed right out of the suite. He didn't even see Joey, Chris and Justin staring at him as he boarded the elevator and hit the "L" button, not sure what his destination was. The water from the pool rippled slightly, but was more-or-less still. It was only seven o'clock, but no one was in the area. Which suited Lance just fine. He always found the water calming. His parents lived near a lake and he would spend hours just sitting on the shore, watching the boaters race by and the ducks skim the surface looking for dinner. There was no lake nearby the hotel, so he made do with the pool, the lights casting an eerie shadow on the walls. Lance felt serene even though he knew he had royally pissed of Josh. He felt extremely bad about it, but the Bass Pride was strong and he couldn't go apologize just yet. He needed to just think. He sat there on the edge of the water, his feet dangling over. His toes lightly dipped into the pool's warm water. He was concentrating on the water so deeply that he didn't hear JC walk in the room. JC took a seat next to Lance, at which time he noticed his presence. Lance said nothing, and neither did JC. They sat there for a minute. JC, who had removed his shoes, lowered his feet into the water and began moving them around. Lance noticed he made a concerted effort to not brush up against his own feet. Finally JC spoke, "I wish you would talk to me, Lance". Lance responded, "I don't think I can, Josh". Josh stopped moving his feet and turned to Lance, "I love you so much. I may not be able to always understand everything that happens to you and I expect it will work vice-versa too. But, if you can't talk about it with me, then who can you?" Lance stood up and went over to a pool chair. JC got up and joined him. Lance looked over at JC, "I am so sorry I've such an ass today". JC smiled, "That you have been, my friend. Now, can I ask why?" Lane hesitated, but gave in, "I just think that this whole thing with my father is bothering me a lot more than I want to admit". JC looked concerned, "And I guess me talking about how wonderful my parents are doesn't help, huh?" Lance sat up and faced his boyfriend, "It's not your fault. I can't blame anyone really for this. I am glad your parents have been so good about it". JC stepped in, "But, you can't help but feel a little jealous?" Lance cocked an eyebrow, "Jealous, Angry, Depressed...I've gone through it all, babe". JC put his hand on Lance's, "I want you to be honest with me about your feelings, Lance. If nothing else, I can be a shoulder to cry on". Lance felt like he should cry, but figured he had shed enough tears over this thing already. He smiled at JC instead, "You know, I've been so busy worrying about my parents and saying they just needed time to get used to it, I've neglected the fact that I need to get used to this and sort out my feelings". JC put his hand on Lance's head and began playing with his hair, "And I want to be there to help you, okay?" Lance nodded, "You know what? I think I would like to go visit your family this weekend." "Are you sure? We don't have to," JC asked. Lance leaned in and kissed JC, "As long as I'm with you, I can deal with anything". JC leaned in, ready to kiss him back. They were interrupted by two small children bursting into the room. One of them cannonballed into the pool, sending water flying everywhere. A big splash hit JC and Lance and they were soaked. The child's mother, who had just walked in the room, began yelling at her son and apologizing to the boys. They told her it was alright. "What do you say we head back to the room?" JC asked and Lance agreed. They made it to the room, their clothes leaving a trail of water along the way. When they walked in, Joey and Chris were once again on a video game rampage, while Justin cheered them on. Upon seeing the wet duo, they paused the game and stared. JC smiled, "Let me just say that children and water acrobatics shouldn't mix." JC walked into their room while the others continued to stare at Lance. He smiled too, "I wanted to say I'm sorry for being a prick today?" Chris grinned and sarcastically said, "I hadn't noticed". Joey hit him with a pillow and turned to Lance, "Just wanted to make sure you're okay". Justin agreed, "Yeah, we all get moody. Don't worry about it". Chris tossed the pillow over at Justin, "Some more than others, Curly". Justin attacked Chris and they began to wrestle. Joey threw Lance a compassionate smile and Lance returned it. He then walked into their room. When he got in, JC was already down to his boxerbriefs. Lance suddenly felt extremely turned on. The thought of wet JC made him hot. JC saw Lance's lustful gaze, "Remind you of our little trip to DC?" Lance nodded and began removing his clothes, thinking of them running through the rain, or more precisely JC running through the rain. Lance found himself tearing at his clothes. When he was down to his boxers, he looked up at JC. "See something you like?" JC walked to him and pulled Lane to him, slowly grinding his hardening crotch into the other's. He kissed him lightly on the lips and said, "I don't see anything I don't like". Lance kissed JC, "Lock the door". JC smirked. They had learned that a door lock was indeed their friend and used it every night. As much as Lance loved the guys, they had a nasty habit of walking in at the wrong time. As JC locked the door, Lance pulled back the bed covers and climbed in. A minute later, JC joined him and immediately pulled him into a kiss. JC's tongue entered Lance's mouth, sending the boy into ecstasy. Any sad thoughts were being washed away. Lance's love for JC was growing everyday. He knew that if Josh could make him forget his troubles, he was truly special. Lance began to rock his hips, rubbing against JC. He could feel JC's erection pressing against his underwear and Lance longed to release it. He reached around and cupped JC's ass with his hands, pulling him in even closer as they kissed. JC pulled away and began licking Lance's neck. Lance moaned and moved his hand around to the JC's front, grabbing his cock through his shorts. JC followed suit and reached into the fly of Lance's boxers, pulling out his throbbing member. JC continued working his way down Lance's chest quickly, until he reached Lance's cock. He licked the head slightly, sending Lance into rapture. JC grabbed Lance's waistband and slowly began easing off his underwear. Lance lifted up his hips to allow the removal and JC slid them off his feet. JC returned to Lance's cock, this time taking the whole thing in his mouth. He worked the shaft for a minute before moving down to his balls. Lance could feel himself on the verge of coming, but wasn't ready for this to end. So, he grabbed JC and pulled him up to him, kissing him feverishly. He reached down under JC's boxerbriefs and grabbed his bare butt. He then began pulling the underwear off. JC helped and soon he was naked too. Lance continued kissing JC and began nibbling in his ear. Before he realized what he was saying he whispered in JC's ear, "I want you in me". JC looked at Lance in the eyes, unsure of what was just said. When it finally registered, he asked, "Are you sure?" Lance nodded, "I want to feel your cock inside of me, Josh". Josh was a little wary, but Lance knew he wanted it too. Lance was ready to take this next step and he wanted nothing more than to share it with JC. Lance looked at JC, "Do you have a condom?" JC nodded and got off the bed, heading to his suitcase. He fumbled around, finally pulling out a silver wrapper. He sat on the bed next to Lance, looking at the condom, "I want to make sure you really want this. It could be painful". Lance knew it would hurt. And maybe it would be a complete disaster, but he could feel that the pain would be dwarfed by the extreme pleasure he would feel. He didn't respond to JC, but instead grabbed the condom and ripped open the wrapper. JC took it and put it on his dick. The guys laid back down on the bed. JC was looking wary, "I don't have an lubricant. We need some of that". Lance thought, then smiled, "What about that edible lotion? You said it was nasty anyway, right? It should work". JC kissed Lance on the forehead, "That's my Scoop". He reached over to the nightstand and removed the lotion. He squeezed some on his hand and placed himself between Lance's legs. Lance raised his butt up slightly as JC placed a finger against his hole. Slowly, JC pushed his digit in. The coldness was very new to Lance, but he didn't feel any real pain yet. JC continued working his finger in and out, eventually adding one. This time Lance was a little more uncomfortable, but slowly his hole loosened up and the sensation felt good. "Ready?" JC asked. Lance shook his head yes and JC scooted up, placing his penis against Lance's lotioned hole. He inserted the head, sending a whole new sensation through Lance. This one was true pain. JC's cock was obviously bigger than two fingers and Lance was now in pain. JC saw the agony in Lance's face and asked, "Do you want me to pull out?" Lance said, "No, just give me a minute". JC nodded and leaned over, kissing Lance on the nose. Finally, the pain receded and Lance gave JC the okay to continue. JC was cautious and slowly began sliding his cock in. The pain was almost too much, but it eventually subsided and soon JC's pubic area was firmly pressed against Lance. JC sat there for a minute, staring at Lance. This was all new to Lance, yet he truly was loving it. Feeling JC's hot cock inside of him was pure bliss and he wanted JC to fuck him. JC began moving his penis in and out of Lance, each thrust getting more powerful. JC kissed Lance's mouth, and Lance felt a drop of sweat fall from his lover's forehead as he began pounding harder. Lance wanted to scream, but knew the guys were a few feet away. He instead stared into JC's eyes, sending a calm over him. JC sped up the pace and Lance knew he was close to coming. Lance grabbed his dick and began stroking it. He wanted to come with JC. JC was moaning now, somewhat loudly and Lance briefly wondered what the others were thinking. But, frankly, he didn't care and called out for JC to fuck him harder. Suddenly, Lance felt JC's cock stiffen as he came. This sent Lance over the edge and soon he too had shot his load, covering his stomach and chest. JC stopped his thrusts and lowered down to kiss Lance, who hungrily returned his advances. Lance heard a slight squishing sound as JC lowered himself onto Lance, causing the come to spread out like some sort of sexual PB&J. Lance laughed at this thought and JC looked at him, confused. Lance smiled at him, "Can I just tell you that was the most intense orgasm I have ever had?" JC smiled back, "Ditto here. I'm sure the guys are totally grossed out now by our animal grunting." "You never know. Maybe it made them hot," Lance joked. JC climbed off of Lance and lay next to him, "Please, I do not want to think about Joey being hot, okay?" Lance lay his head on JC's shoulder, "You know, I just thought. We never ate dinner and man am I starving". JC agreed, "Yeah, sex will do that to ya. What do you say we order room service? I want to stay in tonight." Lance got off the bed, "Okay. But, let's get cleaned up first. I doubt the bellhop would like to see us post-coital like this". JC smiled and followed Lance into the bathroom. Not much going on in this chapter...just had to resolve some emotional things for Mr. Bass. Look for chapter 13 soon and don't forget to see the boys on the MTV Video Awards, which is Thursday night, but will be rebroadcast 754 times this weekend in case you miss it!