Date: Fri, 25 Aug 2000 11:30:35 EDT From: Garrett Sparks Subject: Next Window Please - Chapter 4 Once again, thanks for all the positive feedback I've been getting, as well as the suggestions. They really help to keep me motivated. I love writing (especially this story) and will continue to do so as long as you guys want me to! You know the drill: underage, homophobe - go away! Lance and JC gay? Don't have a clue - this is fiction. I don't know the guys and no even less about who they spend their nights with. And please e-mail me with questions, comments or confusions! Enjoy! Chapter 4 - When you finally get to love somebody "What were you smiling about last night?" Lance and Joey were loading up limo that would take them to the airport. It was Friday morning and the Florida heat was already causing Lance to sweat. Lance had never asked Joey what he was grinning about after he and JC had come out to them and figured this might be the only time they were alone for awhile and wanted to know. Joey responded, "You don't see it, do you?" Lance looked perplexed, "See what?" Joey put his hand around Lance's shoulder, "Well, you're gay, Josh is gay." Lance backed away, "Me and Josh? Just because we're both gay doesn't mean that we have to date". Joey smiled, "Aw, come on, you haven't thought about it just a little?" The truth had, Lance had - a lot in the last day. "I don't know. I mean I like Josh a lot, but that's really just a brotherly kind of love. I think. Don't get me wrong - he's hot and all." Joey jumped in, "I'll take your word on that". Lance laughed and the two guys headed went in the house. Inside, JC was finishing his packing. As usual, he was the last one to get up and therefore, the last one to finish packing. Justin walked in, "Aren't you ready yet?" JC threw a dirty sock at Justin, which stuck in his curly hair, "Give me a minute! I'm, almost done." Justin sat next to him on the bed, "That's not what you said last night". JC raised his hand in a joking fashion, as if he were about to strike his friend. Justin laughed at him and JC smirked. He returned to his packing, and before Justin could ask, he stated, "I haven't decided what I am going to do about Lance yet, in case you were wondering". Justin nodded, "I just think you need to be careful. I mean, last night you tell me you've been in love with the guy for the last four years. Even if he feels that way too, you have to be careful." "I know that Just," JC said. Justin patted JC on the back, "I just don't want you to get hurt, but it's up to you. I do think you'd make a cute couple, though". Justin left the room and JC shook just his head. As the plane took off from the airport. Lance sat alone. JC and Justin were seated in front of him and Chris and Joey shared a first-class row next to him. But, he was glad he was by himself. He had asked for it. He had some thinking to do. Primarily, he was thinking about his parents. He hadn't talked to his mom since Wednesday, and he was worried because she hadn't called him. Lance figured he and his parents both needed a little time to sort things out. He had decided if his parents couldn't accept him and love him for what he was, then maybe they couldn't be a part of his life. He knew it was harsh to feel this way, but he didn't see the alternative. It wasn't like he wanted to flaunt it in their faces, or make them march in a gay pride parade or anything. He just wanted to be able to come home at Thanksgiving and, if he had one, bring a guy home. He knew that was way too much to ask for this November, but one day he wanted that. Maybe Stacey would talk some sense into them. He decided he would e-mail home just to let them know his plans. He logged onto his computer and typed in his parents address: DoubleBass98. This was the addy for both of his parents - they shared an account. So, he was careful what he said as he typed: Mom and Dad, Hope you are doing well. I just wanted to let you know that I am okay and we left today for L.A. I'm actually on a plane as I write this. We'll be there for a few days and then we shoot our next video. Then, we fly back to North Carolina for the last leg of the tour. We're gonna be in Alabama at the end of October. I would love for you to come to the show. I know you've seen it, so don't worry if you can't. Just let me know. I love you both. Say hello to Stace for me. I better go. Write me if you can or call my cell. Love, James He hit sent and shut his computer. He didn't expect a response. He had reached out and the ball was now in their court. He just hoped it worked. Someone sat down in the seat next to him and he was about to complain when he looked up and saw JC. He still looked preoccupied, the way he had ever since he came out to everyone. He wondered if JC was having a hard time dealing with it. Some people hated themselves for being gay. He just hoped JC could deal. It had taken Lance a long time to get over his upbringing - one that told him he would burn in hell for this - and be happy with himself. He knew he had to be there for JC. And as he looked at him now, he couldn't help but sympathize. He also noticed for the first time just how handsome JC really was. He kicked himself mentally for thinking this, especially when his friend was hurting, but JC was dressed in a pair of jeans and a tight T-shirt and he looked really good. Lance knew JC was "hot" - he even said that to Joey this morning. But, he wasn't thinking about the sexual aspect of it. JC was handsome and good-looking and just very, very attractive. Even when he had a crush on the boy, he hadn't really studied his looks. Lance shook it off and asked JC what was up. JC smiled at him, "How's it going, Scoop?" "Fine. Just thinking." "What about?" Lance sighed, "I have a lot on my mind. Mainly my parents". JC lowered his head, "Yeah. That's something I'm gonna have to deal with one of these days. Not looking forward to it". Lance joked, "Why didn't you come out to me last week? It coulda saved me a few tears". JC looked genuinely sad, "I'm sorry about that". "Hey, no problem. We got each other now. And know that I'm here for you for whatever you may need." JC nodded his thanks and turned to face the front of the plane. Lance stared at him for a minute, wondering if he was going to stay or go. Not that he minded. The thing was, he and JC hadn't talked all that much and he knew there were so many things to discuss. Lance had never had someone to talk to about himself. At least not anyone who understood him so well. He looked forward to talking to Josh. And then, as if the guy was reading his mind, JC turned to Lance, "So, I was wondering if, once we get settled in tonight, we could go out to dinner or something". Lance answered, "Yeah, we should all go out. Enjoy L.A." "No," JC said, "I was thinking just you and me. Without the other guys". Lance thought for a second, "You mean, like a date?" JC looked up, "Well, kinda I guess. I just thought we could talk - about things, you know?" Lance leaned into JC and grabbed his hand, "Sounds great". JC smiled and got up, "Great. I'm gonna go back to my seat then. See ya when we land". Lance smiled back and JC returned to his seat with Justin. He looked over and saw Joey sitting in his chair, smiling at his blond friend. He made kissy sounds to Lance. Lance rolled his eyes and smiled back. The truth was, Lance didn't know if this was going to be a true date or just a friend thing. Josh had been acting like a nervous schoolboy, so it led Lance to think it was the date thing, but he wasn't sure. He thought he would just let things happen. He closed his eyes and, to his surprise and enjoyment, thought of JC. The landing was a little rough and it woke Lance out of a peaceful slumber. The other guys were apparently sleeping too, for he could see them slowly rising up and getting oriented. Time shifts always did a number on Lance's internal clock and he knew he would be ready for bed by 8pm. He hoped the nap he had taken would prolong that need for sleep a little bit. He was actually looking forward to his "date" with Josh. Someone had obviously tipped off people that they were landing in L.A. that day, because the airport was currently overrun with screaming teenagers, many holding signs that expressed their love for the different band members, The guys used to have a standing bet that every time they came upon one of these scenes, they would count the signs that mentioned them specifically and the one with the most would win. The prize was bragging rights and Justin seemed to always hold that honor. Lance wondered if that's where he got his ego from. He laughed to himself as they were escorted the back way to a waiting limo. They all climbed in and Justin, Chris and Joey sat on one side, while JC and Lance took the other. The other three began gabbing away, but Lance and JC were quiet. Lance swore he could feel Josh staring at him, but when he turned to face him, he was looking away. Lance smiled to himself. About halfway there, they hit a pothole, which bounced the guys around. JC's hand found itself brushing against Lance's knee. Lance noticed his friend didn't move it and frankly, Lance didn't want him to. The hotel was just as crowded with fans. Lance used to wonder how in the world people could find out where they were staying. That information was supposed to remain top secret. But, Chris, the elder statesman, had offered that the famous leaks were manufactured by the higher-ups themselves in order to get some free publicity. Lance wondered if they would have such loose lips if they were the ones that had to manuveur through these crowds. Luckily, they got in without much trouble and were led through the back to a service elevator which took them to the top floor. This floor was basically one big suite, with six bedrooms, six bathrooms, a common living room, dining room and kitchen. It had all the comforts of home; yet, Lance was uncomfortable. He never thought himself worthy of being treated like a god. He liked the simple life. It was all he wanted. The truth was, as soon as NSYNC's fifteen minutes were up (which they all knew was inevitable), he planned to be behind the scenes 100%. He enjoyed working with FreeLance Entertainment. Of course now, things might be a little screwed up with it, since it was a family business. Still, he was determined to not let his relationship problems interfere with his dream. Each guy grabbed a room and threw their stuff on the floor. They weren't sure how long they were going to be in LA, so they didn't bother unpacking. Chris, JC, and Joey immediately went for the Playstation and began duking it out over the latest shoot-em-up game. Justin walked into Lance's room and flopped down on his bed. "Comfortable?" Lance asked as he put his toothbrush in the bathroom. Justin rolled over, "Yeah, I think your bed is much more cozy than mine. Wanna trade?" Lance smirked, "Nope. Your room is next to Joey's and his snoring is bound to rattle the walls. I like sleeping". "I also noticed your room is next to Josh's," Justin asked in a probing way. Lance shrugged, "And?" Justin sat up, "Oh, nothing. I just heard from a certain bandmate that the two of you are going out tonight". Lance sat next to him on the bed, "We are going out, yes. But, we're just gonna talk. We have so much in common and I think we'd be a good support system for each other". Justin frowned, "Is that all this will be?" Lance was silent, then responded, "I honestly don't know. I like Josh, but I really haven't seriously thought of him in that way. I guess we'll see where it takes us". Justin stood up, "Just do me a favor, okay?" Lance nodded yes and Justin went on, "Be careful with him. Just don't toy with his affections". Lance was somewhat offended, "You think I would do something so cruel?" Justin reassured his friend, "No! I didn't mean it that way. I just meant that Josh is in a kinda fragile state right now and I don't want him hurt". Lance stood up and walked to Justin, "Josh is the sweetest guy we know. I would never do anything to hurt him. You know that". Justin smiled, "Yeah, because you're the second sweetest person I know". A few hours later, the hotel suite was eerily quiet. Justin, Chris and Joey had all gone to grab some dinner and maybe go clubbing. JC and Lance were in their rooms, getting ready. Lance looked at the pile of clothes on his bed and fretted over what to wear. He was somewhat embarrassed that he was wasting so much time deciding his look for the evening. After all, JC had seen him at both his best and his worst. It shouldn't have mattered what he wore. Still, he wanted to look nice, so he settled for a pair of tan cargo pants and a blue button down shirt. He got dressed and was fixing his spiky hair when there was a knock at the door. He opened it to find JC standing there. He was dressed in a pair of slacks and a button down shirt also. He had a big smile on his face and a single rose in his hand, which he handed over to Lance. There was no doubt in Lance's mind now that this was indeed a romantic date. And it didn't bug Lance in the least. The guys silently walked to the elevator and headed down to the lobby. "So, should we decided where we're going, so our limo driver doesn't have to wander around LA?" Lance asked as they stepped into the lobby. JC smiled, "Don't worry. I already made reservations at a place. You like Mexican food, right?" Lance smiled back, "It's my favorite and you know that". Although he wasn't sure Mexican was the best idea for a date, given what it could do to his stomach. Still, it was sweet of JC to think about him. They walked out to the limo. JC said as they climbed in, "I just wanted this night to be perfect for you". The restaurant was more of a Tex-Mex place, which suited Lance just fine. He thought about ordering the fajitas, but opted not to when he thought of the awful onion breath he would have. He scolded himself for thinking that there would be any reason for clean breath, but he still wanted to make sure. So, he got a chicken and rice dish. JC ordered some type of blackened steak. While they waited for their food, they began discussing their lives. JC opened the conversation, "So, are you gonna call your parents?" Lance sipped his Coke, "I don't know. I sent an e-mail to them on the plane. I figure I'll let them sort through this and wait for them to call me". "Yeah, I'm really worried about my parents too. Their pretty religious too and I don't know if I can handle the rejection". Lance placed his hand over JC's in a discreet manner, "Josh, whatever happens, you have me and the guys. And it's not like you have to tell them today. You come out when your ready. It's a very personal thing and shouldn't ever be forced". JC smiled, "You mean like when Chris blabbed about me and made me tell everyone". Lance laughed, "Something like that". The food arrived and both guys realized they were incredibly hungry. The ate in silence. Lance noticed JC look at him a few times during the meal. As the tables was cleared, he glanced at JC, and more specifically his eyes. Lance had a thing for eyes. He was never really happy with his pale green eyes, although many people commented that it made his unique. But, JC had these blue eyes that, when matched with his dark hair, really made them stand out. He stared at them on and off, not wanting to make JC uncomfortable. And it was at that moment that he truly realized that he liked Josh in more than a brotherly way. And this time, it was no crush. After dinner, they debated about what to do. Neither was really up for clubbing and the only movie that neither had seen was the new Pokemon film. And since Chris wasn't there, they knew he would kill them if they saw it without him. Not that they really wanted to see the movie, but they liked to humor Chris. He had few needs, and one of them was cheesy Japanimation. So, they opted to just head back to the hotel. The time shift was now starting to catch up to Lance, as he knew it would, and he was kind of tired. Still, he didn't want the date to end and suggested they see what was on TV when they made it back to the hotel. The guys were apparently still out clubbing and the suite was dark. Lance and JC flipped on the lamp by the couch and sat down. Lance turned on the TV and began flipping through the channels. There wasn't a lot on - it was Friday night after all. JC offered, "Hey, doesn't Skinemax have that Friday after Dark deal where they show dirty movies?" Lance chuckled, "I don't know. My parents have never been big on cable." JC laid his head on Lance's shoulder, "When I was little, I used to fake going to sleep and then sneak downstairs after my parents were in bed and watch some bad erotic movie." "And did you enjoy them?" Lance asked. JC shook his head, "No, there were never enough naked men. And the ones that were there were usually ugly." They both laughed at this and fell into a comfortable silence. Lance lowered his hand and scooted it over towards JC's leg. He began running his finger along the side of JC's thigh. As if that was a cue, JC moved his hand to Lance's and embraced it. Lance turned to face JC, who raised his head up, "So, does this mean you'd like to go out again?" JC smiled, "No, but this does," and before Lance knew it, JC had leaned in and placed his lips over his friend's. Lance wasn't sure what to do - he had never kissed a guy before - but it felt so right. He returned the kiss. JC backed away, "I've never kissed a guy before Lance. How was it?" "I was thinking the same thing. My first-time too. But, I think I like it. A lot". Lance replied. He further responded by kissing JC again, this time much more passionately. Before he could think, he felt his tongue slip between JC's lips. JC jumped slightly, but never loosened the connection and soon his tongue was in Lance's mouth. The kiss went on for a minute before they parted. As they sat back on the couch, JC spoke, "Do you think I could sleep with you tonight?" Lance was shocked at JC's forwardness, "Josh, I don't think I'm ready to go there yet". JC realized what his proposition sounded like and corrected himself, "That's not what I meant. I just meant I want to sleep with you - literally. I just want to be close to you tonight. To hold you". Lance was touched and longed for the same. He couldn't think of a more perfect way to end their date. And he told JC so, "I would like nothing more". They switched off the TV and headed to Lance's room. As they walked in, Lance remembered Justin's words from earlier and turned to JC, "Now, you are sure about this? I don't want you to have any regrets or anything". JC removed his shirt, revealing a tank top underneath, "Actually, I just want to sleep here so I can avoid Joey's snoring". Lance removed his shirt also, "Very funny. But, I'm serious." JC walked over to Lance, who was now bare-chested. He placed his hand on Lance's shoulder, "I have never been more sure about anything Lance." They kissed again. JC excused himself as he remembered to brush his teeth. Lance did the same and then began removing his pants. He wasn't sure if he should sleep in his normal attire, which was just his boxers; but, he didn't have any sweats or anything. Hopefully, JC wouldn't think he was being too forward. His fears were calmed when JC returned to the room, still in his tank top, but now wearing just his boxer-briefs. Lance smiled at him as JC closed the door and switched off the light. Lance waited in the dark for his boyfriend (that sounded so weird, yet so cool) to join him. He felt JC's warm body slide under the covers. They were facing each other and Lance had the urge to kiss him again. His lips found JCs and they lied there, kissing for a minute. "You have the prettiest eyes, Scoop," JC said. Lance was glad that the lights were off, because he felt a tear form in his eye. This was the first time that someone complemented his eyes and he really believed them. After another quick kiss, JC turned over and pressed his back to Lance's chest. He felt a slight stirring in his shorts as JC adjusted, rubbing himself against his friend. Finally, JC stopped moving and Lance "calmed down". They were now in a spoon position and Lance never felt more comfortable in his life. "Goodnight, Josh," he said as he placed a kiss on the back of JC's neck. JC reached behind him, rubbing Lance's hair, "Goodnight Lance. Thanks for making this evening so great". Lance had the best night's sleep of his life. There is Chapter 4...it's a little long, but this has to last through the weekend, as I'm not sure I'll be writing again until next week. So, enjoy this and please e-mail me at Xander874@hotmail.com with any comments. It's those that let me know you're reading and enjoying them!