Date: Mon, 30 Jul 2001 15:36:01 EDT
From: Sweetangel482124@aol.com
Subject: 'No Way Out'     Chapter 10

`No Way Out'
Chapter 10

Disclaimer: This story is fiction and does not in any way represent the
true sexual orientation or personal beliefs of any one involved. If you are
underage or homophobic, read no further.

After my pathetic plea for feedback and the threat to end this story, I got
more e-mails than I ever dared to hope for. Not only did that make me feel
really special, it also made me want to continue writing this story. The
ideas are flowing again and I am determined to pull this through. So, a big
thank you to all those wonderful people who e-mailed me. Without you, this
story would have died.

And now, I present chapter 10. Enjoy!


	"Are you alright?" Joey asked, his forehead drawn in tight lines of
concern. JC answered with a sigh. Joey bent down and started massaging his
boyfriend's shoulders and back.
	"We don't have to go you know."
	"Of course we're going. We owe Justin that much. It's just that I
don't know how to explain that kiss to him."
	"The same way you explained it to me. You felt responsible and
guilty about what happened and had to prove to yourself that you didn't
like him in that way." Joey sat down beside JC on the bed.
	"Listen, the two of you are best friends, and that's not gonna
change. You two have been through so much together, you'll get through
this, too. It's me I'm worried about." Now it was Joey's turn to breathe a
heavy sigh.
	"I mean, I've never been extremely close to Justin. And what we did
to him must've seriously ruined his trust in us. You, you're his best
friend, you'll gain his trust back. But me? I don't know where I stand with
him."
	JC wanted to say something reassuring, but nothing came to
mind. Joey was right. He'd have a hard time with Justin. So he just pressed
a soft kiss on Joey's lips and hugged him tight.

	"You're friends are coming. Security just called up to let us
know." Jake announced as he entered Justin's room. He was about to turn
around and leave again when he got a glance at his patient and stopped.
	"You look so pale. Are you sure you wanna do this?" Justin nodded,
his lips drawn tight in determination.
	"I have to. Even if Josh wasn't my best friend, I'd still do
it. We're in a band together so having unresolved issues isn't an option."
Jake nodded.
	"Alright then. I'll leave you to it. But if you need me... I'm in
my office." Justin managed a weak smile.
	"Thank you."

	Just minutes later JC and Joey entered Justin's room. Justin turned
of the TV and motioned his guests to sit down. An awkward silence
spread. No one wanted to be the first to speak. They were painfully aware
of how uncomfortable they were with each other. It was hard to imagine that
just a few short weeks ago they had all been so close. But because of one
little mistake, everything had spiraled out of control and now these three
friends were strangers.

	"This is ridiculous." Joey finally burst out. Justin smiled.
	"You are right. We came here to talk and now look at us."
	"Okay, I'll start. Justin, I'm sorry. You don't know how much I
regret not telling you. You mean so much to me, and keeping this from you
was the biggest mistake I've ever made. And knowing what you feel for me,
and why my keeping secrets did to you.... it hurts me just to think about
that." JC nervously chewed on his lower lip, his eyes darting around the
room, then finally settling on Justin.

	"Josh, listen. You were not the only one who was making
mistakes. I... I kept to myself what I feel for you when there was no
reason not to tell you. I should've known that I can always come to you
with everything." Justin's voice was quiet but firm. It was a relief to
finally talk about this.

	"It's not the same Just. I mean, I... I almost killed you!" Tears
were welling up in JC's eyes, and he was working hard to keep them at bay.
	"No you didn't. *I* almost killed myself. Josh, if we're gonna be
friends again, you've gotta get that into your head. It was a choice I
made. I don't want you to feel guilty for that." JC nodded.
	"I'll try."
	"Are we okay then? I'll forgive you for not telling me that you
have a boyfriend if you stop feeling guilty for what I did. We both made
mistakes, but we've got to let that go and move on." JC nodded again, not
trusting his voice. Justin got up and hugged his friend, who had given up
fighting his tears and was crying openly now.
	"You have no idea how glad I am that you are still alive."

	They were interrupted but the sound of Joey clearing his throat.
	"I'm still here too?" Justin chuckled.
	"We didn't forget about you."
	"Uhu, sure. Listen Justin, I don't know how I can possibly ask you
to forgive me, but..." "Joey, you are not required to tell me about
everything you do, but in this case it would've been helpful for me to
know. So if you promise to tell me stuff next time, even if you're not sure
whether or not I should know, you are forgiven." Joey breathed a sigh of
relief.

	"Thanks Just. But I do have one more question. Do you still
like.... I mean, do you..." Joey trailed off, groping for the right
words.
	"If you're scared that I'll steal your boyfriend, don't be. It's
hard to explain what I'm feeling right now, since I'm not even sure
myself. Yes, I'm attracted to Josh, and yes, I love him. But that love is
slowly returning to the platonic kind. But at the moment I'm wondering what
he feels for me. I seem to remember a kiss..." Justin turned to face JC
who flinched at the mention of that kiss.

	"Curly, the reason for that kiss is so stupid that I'm embarrassed
to tell you. It's just that I felt so guilty, I wanted to love you
back. That kiss was a miserable attempt to prove myself that I have more
than friendly feelings for you. But the only thing it accomplished was to
make me feel even more guilty because it must've added to your confusion."

	"It did. But that turned out to be a good thing, because I finally
resorted to talking to Dr. Kensington and that helped me to sort out my
feelings."

	"So, will we be alright?" Joey asked.
	"Yes, we will be." Justin replied. And for the first time in what
seemed like forever, he truly believed that things would, in fact, turn out
alright.

	JC and Joey didn't leave until late at night. They had spent hours
and hours talking, mostly about how they would tell Lance and Chris about
everything that had happened. They even briefly considered not telling them
at all but, remembering where keeping secrets had already gotten them, they
had quickly dismissed that thought.

	When he was finally alone, Justin decided to check if Jake was
still there, to let him know that things had gone well. The light in his
office was still on, so Justin entered. He found his therapist sitting on
the chair behind his desk, fast asleep. Almost in awe, he stood still,
admiring Jake. His unruly dark hair, the defined cheekbones, the full, red
lips.

	Justin was still standing in the doorway, lost in a rush of
emotions, when Jake's eyelids fluttered, then opened. It took him a few
seconds to take in his surroundings and to realize that he was still in his
office. That Justin was in his room. Standing there in the dim light, he
was breathtaking. He still radiated that air of strength and weakness at
once that had fascinated Jake from the first moment on. Like some sort of a
dark angel, he seemed fragile, yet so strong.

	They were trapped in that moment and for a while neither of them
could move or speak. And then Justin knew why he had come to see Jake. Not
because he wanted to talk, but because he needed him. It was as simple as
that. And he wasn't going to keep it to himself this time. No way.  So he
closed the distance between them, cupped Jake's face with his hand, and
kissed him.


How does Jake react? What will happen between him and Justin? You'll have
to wait till the next chapter to find out.

Take care,
j