Date: Tue, 17 Oct 2000 14:40:23 -0700 (PDT) From: Robin Subject: Chapter 13, Now or Never, Boybands, Celebrity, Gay Disclaimer: This is a fictional story about *N Sync. I do not know *N Sync personally, nor do I know anything about their sexual preferences. This story contains m/m relationships. If you are uncomfortable with that or it illegal to read where you live, please leave. Hi all! I know it's been a while, like I said before school's a real bitch and with midterms coming...*shrug*. :) I hope y'all enjoy this chapter though and please let me know what you think about it by emailing me...I live for feedback! Email me at nsajscgirl@yahoo.com. I wanna say a big thanks to Cele for reading this over before I put it out and thanks for stroking my ego. :) And thanks to Mikko and Damita for reading and giving their feedback! Thanks! :) Oh and I was so excited watching TRL today... they are going to premiere "This I Promise You" Thursday! Woohoo! Thank God, I was going through 'N Sync video withdrawals! Now, I'll quit rambling... ** Previously on Now or Never... (Later that night...Lance Bass's residence) Lance was nervous. Throughout the drive home from the hospital, Justin had been silent. Lance had tried his hardest to get Justin to open up and talk to him. After their little conference with Johnny, he was feeling a little hopeless and unsure of what was to come and he knew that Justin must have been feeling the same things. Without a word, Justin had dropped Lance off at his house and sped away. Lance would have been really worried if Justin hadn't called ten minutes later, asking him to be dressed and ready to go at eight o'clock sharp. Lance took another look at his wristwatch before sighing and picking at the hem of his suit jacket. It was seven fifty-five according to Lance watch, whereas the clock on his mantel said seven fifty-eight. Lance fervently hoped that the later was the one Justin was running by because he was dying with curiosity to know what this was all about. He slowly walked back to his bathroom and studied his appearance for what seemed the millionth time that night. His blonde-tipped spikes, frozen in their haphazard positions, complemented his pale skin and he thought to himself that he didn't look too bad. He looked down at his watch again, noting with interest that it was now seven fifty-eight. He slowly walked back towards the living room until he heard the doorbell ring, the pleasant sound echoing throughout the house. Lance raced to the door, stopping just in time to keep from running into the wood. He smoothed down the front of his suit nervously and paused a minute. He laughed at himself silently for his nervousness. `This is Justin, you idiot!' he chided himself. He had never been this nervous about Justin coming to get him. But he knew the difference between then and now, this was his Justin. He grinned stupidly for a minute before the doorbell sounded once again and a loud knock followed the chiming. Slowly, he opened the front door and he felt his heart melt all over again. In front of him stood Justin, hair perfectly placed, in a dark blue suit and tie. Once Justin caught sight of Lance, his full lips transformed into the gorgeous smile that he was known for and along with his smile, he offered up to Lance the single blood-red rose he held in his hand. "Hey..." Justin drawled out as he stared at his lover. "Hey..." Lance replied, a grin spreading across his face. ** Now or Never Chapter 13 Justin was ready for a change. The past few days, despite his time with Lance, had been amazingly tough to deal with. All he wanted now was a nice, relaxing night with his newfound love and he had it all planned out perfectly. Lance's appearance met all of his expectations when he opened the door and Justin felt his heart constrict with love. The older man's frame was clothed in a dark, formfitting sweater, which showed off Lance's torso. Once Lance caught sight of the red rose, his eyes filled with tears of happiness and Justin was quick to pull Lance into a hug. "God, I love you," Lance whispered in Justin's ear as squeezed him tight. Justin smiled over Lance's shoulder. This was exactly the type of reaction he was hoping to get out of Lance when he started planning this evening. The slamming of a door across the street brought them both to awareness and Lance pulled Justin inside the house, closing the door softly behind them. "We are actually suppose to go the other direction," Justin said with a smile as Lance led him into the living room. "Oh really? Where are we going exactly?" You know I can't answer that. It's going to be a surprise," Justin said softly. Lance sat down on the leather couch and stared up at Justin. "You know what?" Lance questioned and waited patiently for Justin's response. "What?" "I don't think I'm that hungry...for food anyway." A seductive smile lit Lance's face as he ran his hands up Justin's chest. His sharp intake of breath proved that he understood what Lance was getting to. "But, Lance...I made reservations and...and..." Justin trailed off as Lance started unbuttoning his shirt. He stared down at the top of Lance's head for a moment in silence before slowly reaching up and pulling Lance's hands away from him. He let go of Lance's hands and moved to sit down beside the older man. "Lance, I want this night to last. I don't want to start going at it right now. I had this whole evening planned out and I wanted to make it romantic," Justin explained as he watched Lance's face closely, hoping that he didn't disappoint Lance too much. Lance's confused expression changed into one of embarrassment before melting into a soft look full of love. "I'm sorry, Justin," Lance apologized softly and Justin reached out to squeeze his hand. "Don't apologize. Believe me, I know where you are coming from, but I just want to make it special, okay? We will definitely get to the good stuff, I promise," Justin said with a grin, which Lance returned. He stood up and offered his hand to Lance, pulling him up to stand next to him. "You have to fix me back up." Lance smiled a blush tingeing his cheeks as he reached up to re-button the first two buttons of Justin's shirt. "Come on, we're gonna be late!" Justin said with a smile as he tugged on Lance's hand and headed for the front door. Lance followed, grinning from ear to ear. He was looking forward to this night...a romantic evening alone with Justin. ** "Um, where are we going, Justin?" Lance asked his lover nearly an hour later. They had talked about everything and nothing for a while before Lance began to notice that Justin was paying less and less attention to him. From what Lance could tell, they had been driving in circles. After seeing the same billboard four times, he was really beginning to worry. The frown on Justin's face had grown tighter with each passing minute until he was scowling fiercely at the road. "Dammit, Lance. I think I'm lost!" Justin moaned in frustration and Lance had to bite his lips to keep from laughing. "Really?" "Yes, really, and if you laugh, I'm gonna have to hurt you!" Justin exclaimed. "Goddammit! Our reservations were for eight o'clock." A glance at the dashboard clock told Lance that they were thirty minutes late. "It's okay, Justin," Lance said softly, a small smile playing across his mouth. At least that meant that he and Justin could go back to his house and finish what he started. "Do you know how to get back to my house?" "I think so..." Justin trailed off as he looked at their darkened surroundings. He had wanted to take Lance out to eat at a place no one would recognize them and he'd heard a few people mention this out of the way Italian restaurant. In his eagerness to make this evening perfect, he had forgotten one simple thing...directions. `Stupid, stupid, stupid!' he berated himself silently as he pulled back onto the road. Twenty minutes later, Justin pulled into Lance's driveway safely. He turned in his seat to apologize to Lance but was silenced immediately by Lance's palm against his lips. "Don't apologize. I know you wanted to do something special for me tonight, but just to know that is special enough for me." A nearby street lamp illuminated Lance's features and Justin stared into his sincere green eyes. He smiled at Lance's words and sighed softly as Lance moved his palm to cup Justin's cheek. Lance leaned forward and kissed Justin briefly, gently. He pulled away and rested his hand on the door handle. "So how about this? You and I go inside, I warm up some leftover spaghetti and we eat on the floor of my living room?" "Okay," Justin said with a smile before he opened the car door. It wasn't what he had planned, but as long as he was with Lance, it suddenly didn't matter anymore. He followed Lance into the house and intended on following Lance all the way to the kitchen, but was stopped by Lance's voice. "Why don't you go wait in the living room and I'll be there in a minute, okay?" Lance suggested. Justin nodded in reply, although he knew Lance couldn't see him. He turned into the living room and flipped on a nearby lamp. Justin surveyed his surroundings, looking for anything he could use to make the evening a little more romantic than them just sitting on a hardwood floor eating leftovers. He smiled in satisfaction when his eyes lighted on what he was looking for. Lance pulled the steaming pot of spaghetti out of the microwave seconds before the timer on the oven started beeping. He turned off the oven and pulled out the garlic bread he had put there moments earlier. He dumped the spaghetti into a bowl and placed it on a tray along with plates and utensils. The first thing that Lance noticed was that all the lights he turned on during his journey to the kitchen had been turned off. As he entered the darkened hallway, a soft glow poured out of the door to the living room, beckoning him. The moment he saw the transformed room, Lance gasped softly, sure he was going to drop the tray he held. Candles, hundreds of candles, littered the room, throwing the room into a soft glow. The beginnings of a small fire in the fireplace added to the light. A blanket was laid out in front of the fireplace, luxurious pillows littering its surface. Justin stretched out on the blanket on his back, hands underneath his head, waiting for his food...waiting for Lance. He had taken nearly all of his clothes off, except for his dress pants and the wifebeater he had worn underneath his shirt. His toned skin glowed sexily in the firelight. Lance moved quietly into the room and came to a stop near Justin's head. Lance's sudden appearance by his side pulled Justin out of his thoughts. He grinned up at his lover and moved to sit up to make room for Lance on the rug. As Lance knelt to place the tray on the ground, Justin reached over to run his hand up Lance's thigh. Lance returned the grin and settled himself onto the makeshift bed. He leaned over and gently kissed Justin, his lips leaving a whisper of warmth on Justin's lips. "Where did you find all of these candles?" Lance questioned. "Here and there," Justin replied with a smile as he took the plate that Lance offered him. Lance shrugged and smiled; it didn't really matter where Justin got all the candles. They settled into a comfortable silence as Lance spooned out even helpings of the spaghetti. Both where hungry and they ate quickly. Once he was finished, Justin placed his plate back on the tray and moved to lay back down on the makeshift bed. He shifted so that he was lying on his side, facing Lance. With his palm holding his head up, he watched Lance eat. The way his lips puckered as he sucked noodles into his mouth, the way his jaw moved slowly from side to side as Lance chewed--Justin realized that he could sit there forever, just watching Lance eat. After a moment, Lance looked up at him with a smile. "Why are you watching me?" "Why not?" Justin replied glibly. Lance shrugged and finished quickly, setting aside his plate. "Take off your shirt, Lance," Justin requested as Lance moved to lie down beside him. Lance quickly complied, pulling the dark sweater above his head. The thin T-shirt Lance had worn beneath the shirt hid very little and Justin could see the dark outline of Lance's nipples. Lance moved to lie next to Justin once more only to be stopped by Justin's husky voice. "That shirt too." Lance raised an eyebrow at Justin, but did as he was told. Justin watched as Lance's toned chest was revealed slowly, inch by inch. His dress pants felt too tight all of a sudden and he shifted so that his bulge had a little more room. Once Lance had pulled off his shirt, he looked at Justin and felt his throat dry up. There was this look in Justin's dark eyes, a look that took Lance's breath away. It was filled with lust and desire, but more importantly it contained love. Lance smiled at his lover and leaned forward, intent on touching Justin. When his palm made contact with the younger man's cheek, Justin sighed and moved into the caress, closing his eyes at the warmth that radiated from Lance's palm. Slowly, Lance trailed his index finger down Justin's cheek, moving lower to tickle his throat, feeling the silky skin beneath his fingertip. Justin's eyes remained closed as Lance's finger continued to move downward, across his collarbone and tracing the outline of muscle on Justin's shoulder and upper arm. The fire added warmth to Justin's skin, making him glow with a fine sheen of sweat. With Justin's eyes closed he didn't see Lance moving closer, rather he felt the presence of the older man's body close to his. He was unsurprised when Lance pressed his lips to the spot his finger had just touched. Justin could feel his heart picking up speed as Lance's lips followed the path his finger had just taken moments earlier only backwards. Justin gasped once he felt Lance's tongue flick out, tasting his skin. As Lance moved slowly up Justin's body, licking and tasting, Justin laid back on the rug, offering himself to Lance. When Justin reached up to caress Lance's shoulders, Lance quickly grabbed Justin's hands, entwining them with his own and moving them above their heads. Justin moaned in protest, but it was cut off when Lance's lips captured his. The kiss was soft at first, tentative, but quickly became something more. Passion increased and Justin opened his mouth under Lance's, inviting the older man's tongue into his mouth. Lance swiped his tongue into Justin's mouth once, quickly, before pulling away slightly. He slowed things down by kissing Justin softly once more, then leaving the younger man's mouth and trailing his lips back down Justin's chin and throat. He spent a few moments at Justin's throat, nuzzling the soft flesh there. Lance released Justin's hands and dragged his own down Justin's chest to toy with the hem of Justin's thin wifebeater. His hands slid underneath the shirt, caressing the ridges of Justin's abdomen. Justin's own hands moved to the back of Lance's head, holding the older man close. He hissed when he felt Lance flick at his right nipple through the shirt, the cloth adhering to the taunt peak. "Lance," Justin whispered breathlessly. Justin opened his eyes to watch Lance move further down the length of his body. The light from the fire and the lit candles added a flickering glow to the room, providing Justin with more than enough light to take in all of Lance's features. The older man's spiky hair was dark in the room; his skin glowed a warm golden hue. The muscles of Lance's shoulders bunched and flexed as he moved delicate hands across Justin's covered stomach. Lance paused momentarily, eager to get rid of the thin barrier that prevented him from touching Justin as he wanted to. Justin lifted his arms as Lance tugged the wifebeater above his head, leaving his chest exposed. The kisses resumed, Lance's warm lips leaving a trail of wetness along Justin's torso. Lance's slim fingers traced the top of Justin's dress pants, teasing the younger man. "Yes, Lance." At Justin's request, Lance deftly unbuttoned the pants and slowly slid the zipper down, the sound loud in the room. He pushed the flaps aside and pulled down slightly on the elastic band of Justin's cotton boxers. Lance gently kissed the skin that he revealed, his hands lightly playing over the bulge in Justin's underwear. Lance nipped at the flesh of Justin's lower belly and pelvis as he continued to expose Justin to the warm firelight. Justin's silky treasure trail tickled Lance's face and he rubbed his nose against the hairs. Lance continued to push Justin's pants and underwear down and with a playful glance up at his young lover, Lance sucked a small patch of flesh into his mouth. He continued to lave at that one spot until Justin's skin became incredibly sensitive. All of Justin's senses seemed to converge on that one spot and he groaned with pleasure. Lance pulled away briefly and Justin watched him with hooded eyes as he urged Justin's hips up so that he could remove the rest of Justin's clothes. Lance quickly returned to Justin's side once he threw the clothing across the room. He took a moment to look at Justin and only in his dreams could he remember seeing Justin this way. Reality was much better than dreams, Lance decided. Justin's golden curls glowed in the light, framing his adorable face like a halo. Justin's smooth skin begged to be touched, caressed. Lance's eyes traveled down the length of Justin's body taking in the firm muscles and slim waist, which led to Justin's jutting cock and curly pubic hair. The head of Justin's slender cock glowed with precum and Lance wanted to reach out and caress the rod in front of him, but he held back, wanting to prolong the moment. His eyes continued their path down Justin's body, studying Justin's lean thighs and long legs, which were covered in a fine smattering of silky hair. Lance's green eyes retraced their path back up Justin's body until he was staring into the younger man's face. "You're perfect, ya know?" Lance asked softly as he moved closer, his face merely inches from Justin's. He watching in delight as a slight blush crept up Justin's cheeks. Lance nodded once Justin moved to shake his head. "Yes, you are. Your body is beautiful, your voice is beautiful, and your mind is beautiful. You're perfect." Justin just smiled at his lover and pulled Lance close, pressing his full lips against Lance's. Lance enjoyed the kiss for a moment before pulling back. "And I can't believe that you love me," he finished what he had originally planned to say. Justin leaned back and frowned at the older man, his deep blue eyes clouding over. "Lance, I do love you. It had never occurred to me before, that I could love you, but there's nothing about you that I don't love," Justin whispered. He knew that Lance still had some insecurities about their relationship. After all, it was completely new to both of them. Lance had spent six years hiding a large part of himself from the group and to suddenly discover that being himself was completely okay, Lance was obviously anxious about exploring this with someone else. Justin would've had to be blind to the fact that Lance often envied him. Lance saw Justin as someone who was better than him, but Justin vowed then and there to change that, to build Lance's confidence in himself. "You're beautiful too, Lance. You just don't see that in yourself, even though it's there. How can I not help but fall in love with you?" Lance stared at Justin, unsure if he'd actually heard those words coming out of Justin's mouth. Justin frowned at Lance's obvious disbelief. "You don't believe me, do you? Lance, how can I make you see what I see? I see a gorgeous young man. Green eyes that I could lose myself in, eyes that seem to look right into my soul. Perfect lips that I wouldn't mind kissing all day," Justin punctuated each of his sentences by caressing each feature that he talked about. His fingertips gently ran along Lance's eyebrows before smoothing down Lance's eyelids. Lance's eyes fluttered shut at the touch and remained closed as Justin's fingers touched his lips. His tongue flickered out, tasting Justin's salty flesh. "I love your smile. When you grin, I can't help but grin with you; it's infectious." Justin's palm moved to caress Lance's throat, eliciting a moan from the older man once he rubbed the prominent Adam's apple. "I absolutely adore your Adam's apple. I know it's one of your sensitive spots and I love the noises you make when I touch your throat." Justin pulled his hand away from Lance's body and waited for Lance to open his eyes. It took Lance a couple of moments to realize that Justin had stopped and he slowly allowed his eyes to open. "It's not just your body though, Lance. It's not just about the sounds you make or the way your skin feels to me. It's about your mind, too. You are honestly the sweetest man I know. You open doors for people, you apologize when you interrupt someone, and you put others above yourself. And you're smart as hell, Lance. You are quick to catch on when you don't understand something. With the lawsuit this past year, you made it your priority to understand everything you could about what was happening to us. I know a part of it was because you were uncomfortable not having that control in your life, but I also know that the rest of it was for us, for the guys. You didn't want anything to hurt any of us. I do love you, Lance. I love everything about you." Lance swallowed rhythmically, hoping to prevent the tears he could feel building up in his eyes. "Every decision you have made within the last couple of days has been to protect us, Lance. I admire you for that because I know that without you there, we would have struggled to even keep this from the press." "Thank you," Lance managed to whisper against the lump in his throat. Justin smiled at him and reached out to pull Lance close. "Now, where were we?" Lance grinned before kissing Justin lightly and moving down to nip at Justin's throat. "I believe that I was going to kiss you here...and here...and here," Lance said quietly as he brushed his lips along Justin's body, moving down further with each kiss. "And I was going to repay you for the other night..." Lance's voice trailed off as he reached Justin's nipples. He toyed with one of the buds playfully as he took the other into his mouth. Justin arched up off the floor at the sensations and buried his hands in Lance's short hair. His erection had died during their conversation, but quickly renewed itself as Lance continued his assault. Justin groaned when Lance allowed his fingers to trail down Justin's body, stopping just before his hand could graze the younger man's cock. Lance kept teasing Justin's nipples with his mouth as he allowed his slim fingers to slide into the curly hair surrounding Justin's penis before finally wrapping his fist around the rod. Justin moaned loudly when Lance's fist began moving up and down his hard cock. He kept on hand on the back of Lance's head while the other moved down Lance's back, caressing the solid muscle he felt there. Lance slowly moved his body down Justin's. He came to rest between Justin's splayed legs. Lance's cloth- covered legs scraped roughly against Justin's bare flesh. The contrast in sensation caused Justin to moan again. While Lance's touches were soft and silky, the cloth rubbed harshly against him. He wanted to rid Lance of the dress pants, but the moment he leaned up to do just that, he fell back against the makeshift rug. Lance had just kissed the tip of his leaking cock and Justin's entire body went limp. He rolled his head back as he felt Lance's mouth close around the head, his tongue licking away the precum that had formed there. "Oh, my God!" Justin managed to moan. His hands found Lance's head and he ran his slim fingers through Lance's short hair desperately. Lance watched Justin's face, pleasure evident in the younger man's expression as Lance closed a fist around the base of Justin's cock. He moved the fist up and down slowly at first, gaining a good rhythm, before picking up speed. His tongue swirled around the head slowly, the taste of Justin filling his senses. `Beautiful, absolutely beautiful,' Lance thought to himself as he removed his fist and slowly slid as much of Justin into his mouth as he could manage. Justin's grip on his hair became almost painful, but he didn't notice. All Lance focused on was the texture and taste of Justin's penis. Lance's hands gripped Justin's waist, squeezing the flesh there before moving beneath Justin to cup the younger man's ass. Justin muttered broken words above Lance's head along with moans of pleasure. "Yes, Jesus, Lance! So warm...uhhhh...yes." Lance's mouth moved up and down on Justin's length. He quickly brought one of his hands from beneath Justin and moved it to Justin's throat. His young lover grabbed the traveling hand and brought it to his mouth, sucking in Lance's index finger. Justin's teeth grazed the flesh of Lance's finger and Lance hummed in his throat. The added vibration against Justin's cock made him tense; he bit down lightly on the finger in his mouth and moaned. He mimicked Lance's actions on his cock on Lance's finger, swirling his tongue around the tip. Their eyes met and Justin mumbled around the finger in his mouth. "Oh, fuck Lance, yes, suck me...please...I'm so close." Justin threw his head back and he writhed at the pleasure he was receiving. Lance pulled his hand back down and slid it back under Justin's ass, this time using the wet finger to tease Justin's opening. The younger man tensed at first, unsure if this was something that he wanted or not. One look at Lance's concerned, loving eyes though forced him to relax and he moaned as Lance's fingertip eased into his asshole. Lance continued to work up and down Justin's cock as he moved his index finger in and out of Justin's hole. Motions became quick and almost frantic as Justin moved sensuously beneath Lance. Lance's head bobbed up and down, his cheeks sucking in and ballooning out as he worked Justin's cock. His finger pistoned in and out of Justin's tight ass before he added another finger. The second finger managed to graze Justin's prostate and the young man's ass lifted off the floor, a hoarse shout of warning announcing Justin's orgasm. "AHHH...YES!!! Lance! I'm cumming...fuck yes!" Justin screamed, his hands holding Lance steady as his cock spewed forth several volleys of milky cum. His tense body went limp and Lance swallowed the last drops of salty liquid before moving up his lover's body. "God, I love you," Justin managed to murmur as Lance snuggled up to his side. "I love you too. But Justin?" Lance questioned. Justin turned his head to find Lance's eyes staring at him, ablaze with lust. "Yes?" "We're not done yet..." Lance trailed off as he kissed Justin, his tongue licking at the younger man's lips, requesting entrance. ** (Back at the hospital...) A small figure crept slowly down the hospital corridor, seeking Joey's room. He didn't want to attract the attention of the nurses so he stepped lightly through the hallway. A large man sat in front of the hospital room he searched for. The guard's head was bent and he was dozing in the late night hour. A small surge of anger raced through Chris. The bodyguard was there for a reason, to protect Joey, and he couldn't very well do that if he was asleep. Chris reminded himself to talk to Johnny about that tomorrow, but left the hulking figure of the guard alone for the moment. He slowly turned the handle on the large door, stepping into the darkness that filled the room. A full moon shined through the window, adding some light to the room, enough light to show Chris that he wasn't the only one that decided to check in on Joey. JC's slim form sat slumped over in a chair close to Joey's bed. A soft snort escaped JC's lips as he shifted in the uncomfortable chair and Chris stilled, waiting to see if JC had woken up. He felt a bolt of jealousy tear through him, jealousy he knew he had no right to feel. If he hadn't been the one to play the joke on Joey, he'd be were JC was right now. But he had given up that privilege when he did what he did. Chris could beat himself up a thousand times over and still never forgive himself for what he did to Joey. A small tear escaped Chris's eyes as he thought about the future. Whether or not Joey would forgive him was going to be the deciding factor in his life. Either Joey would forgive him and they would move on as *N Sync or Joey would push him away and refuse to have anything to do with him. Chris couldn't imagine life if Joey decided the latter was the better option. He watched Joey's chest rise and fall evenly; assuring him that everything was okay. With one last glance at his friends, Chris turned around and headed back towards the door. He quietly slipped out of the room, unaware that Joey's eyes had followed him out of the room. ** Okay, guys...that's it for now. Please send me feedback, it never hurts and I always want to know what y'all think. nsajscgirl@yahoo.com Later! Robin :)