Date: Sun, 3 Oct 1999 19:37:51 EDT
From: lictor (at) aol (dot) com
Subject: NSYNC-lance-n-jc

'N SYNC: LANCE 'N' JC
CHAPTER 13
----------

Usual disclaimer applies: This is a work of fiction. It is not meant to
imply anything about the orientation, beliefs or anything else about the
real members of 'N Sync, the Backstreet Boys, or anyone else (but we can
dream). If you are under 18, or are offended by graphic depictions of
homosexual relationships, please go back now.

Story content copyright Copyright 1999 T. Kevin.

----

Sorry, this chapter took a little longer than the last one, but there's a
lot going on in this growing saga. Hope it is worth the wait! Thanks to all
of you who have emailed me with your encouragement!

Oh, and multi-sensory fans, you my want to have your copy of "Music of My
Heart" queued up on the CD player. You don't have it yet? What kind of 'N
Sync fan are you!?!  <g>

So here it is, lucky chapter 13.

Kevin ----

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

	Terry couldn't sleep. The pain in his right arm had subsided to a
dull ache, but there was another -- more pleasant -- reason for his
wakefulness. Draped half over him, head on Terry's shoulder as he slept,
was a beautiful young man. It wasn't even that Justin was physically
handsome (though he was -- intimidatingly so) but there was a naivete,
an almost childlike wonder to him, combined with a energy and an
understated intelligence that Terry found irresistible. Justin didn't 'act'
smart, but he obviously was very smart; it was apparent in the speed with
which he understood things.
	But it was the innocence more than anything, the feeling that
Justin didn't even know how to go about hurting someone, much less want
to. And Terry was more afraid of being hurt -- again -- by someone he cared
for than of anything else.
	He really had fallen for this young god whom he had only met a week
ago.  More incredible was the possibility that Justin actually cared for
him the same way.
	'This will never work,' a little naysayer voice inside him
warned. 'You're just a temporary substitute for the man he really loves: JC
Chasez. He's going to hurt you whether he intends to or not. You're too
old, too jaded, too...' Terry frowned, realizing that this wasn't going to
get him anywhere. 'All I can do is try to make him happy, and hope I don't
disappoint him, I guess.' He sighed. But he had surprised himself with how
quickly he'd let his barriers down for Justin. Terry didn't even make
friends easily; it was a combination of natural shyness and having been
burned before by shallow, self-centered people. Ironically, many people
thought Terry was cold and aloof -- even condescending -- when they first
met him. It was really just his defenses, built up over long years to
protect the very sensitive, even insecure, man at the center. His heart had
been broken the first time when he was about Justin's age... he felt his
jaw clench with the memory of Michael. But his fear of opening up to
another person went back much farther...  to the Ice King and Queen, as he
had come to refer to his parents. So wrapped up in their own little
problems and petty affairs, it was if they forgot they even had
children. Terry remembered getting more affection from the baby-sitter than
either parent. Otherwise it was just him and his sister, their basic
physical needs provided for, but emotionally they had been starved until
their ability to give affection had almost been allowed to die. He wondered
how Kristen was doing. Last he heard she was back in therapy after her
divorce...
	Justin stirred against him, made a little snoring sound, then
settled back into regular breathing. Terry's mind wandered back to their
confrontation in the alley with the gay-bashers. Terry kept replaying the
incident over and over in his head.  He's been in a couple of fights
before, but never been faced with four armed opponents. He and Justin had
been very lucky none of them had had a gun, and it was only Justin's action
at the end that had saved Terry from a knife in the gut. He told himself
that it was over, everything had come out okay, Justin didn't have a
scratch. But still he couldn't get it out of his mind.
	He tried to relax, and smiled sadly as the blond snuggled a little
closer.  'Justin, Justin... I could never forgive myself if anything had
happened to you,' he thought as he tenderly ran his fingers through the
youth's curls. He swallowed hard over the lump in his throat and closed his
eyes.

----

	Terry regained consciousness through a haze of dull agony. His arm
hurt but the pain in his side was far worse. And he wasn't in bed, but
sitting in a chair. He couldn't move his arms. People were talking.
	"He's coming to."
	"Good, I want him to watch. Take the gag off his 'boyfriend'." It
was the voice of the lead gay-basher.
	He heard a scuffling, then Justin spoke. "You assholes, what did
you do to him?" He was trying to sound tough, but the fear in his voice was
evident.
	"You better be more worried about yourself, sweetheart."
	Terry didn't want to open his eyes but he couldn't help it. Leering
in his face was the leader, his faced bruised from where Terry had kicked
him. A few feet away, held by two others, was Justin. He had a black eye,
his lower lip was swollen, and there was a trickle of blood in the corner
of his mouth. They were in some dimly-lit place, like an abandoned house.
	"Terry! Man are you okay?"
	'Poor Justin, he's concerned about me...' Terry thought sadly. He
couldn't answer, couldn't even react.
	"I don't think he's gonna last much longer." One of them said with
a shrug.
	"Then let's party!" The leader stood up and started to unbuckle his
belt.  "Hold pretty boy face-down on that mattress for me."
	'Oh God no, please...' Terry wanted to close his eyes but couldn't,
just as he couldn't close his ears.
	Two of the others dragged Justin over to a filthy mattress on the
floor. He seemed stunned for a moment, not realizing what was about to
happen. Then he started flailing about and screaming like a madman. But
they were too strong. They forced him down and held him, despite his
struggles, as the leader stood over him.  Justin started crying, begging
Terry to help him. This was the worst torture Terry could imagine, to be
powerless while Justin cried for help...

----

	"Terry! TERRY!"
	He sat bolt upright in bed. He was drenched in cold sweat. Justin
was next to him, his face full of fear and worry -- but unhurt -- and his
hand held Terry's arm in an iron grip. The designer felt his heart banging
in his chest.
	"Oh man, you scared the shit out of me!" Justin relaxed his grip,
but only part way. "Are you all right? You were having some kind of bad
dream!"
	Terry smiled self-consciously. "Yeah, it was a doozy. Thanks for
waking me."
	"Yah. I been trying for a few minutes; you didn't want to come out
of it!"
	"I'm a deep sleeper. I'm sorry Justin, I didn't mean to scare you."
Terry put his hand on Justin's.
	"I wasn't scared, really. Just worried."
	"You don't need to worry about me, but thank you." Terry managed a
weak smile.
	"Hey, anything for my Jean-Claude van Terry!" He broke into his
disarming grin.
	He looked at the clock by the bed: almost three in the
morning... Ugh, tomorrow was going to be grim. "Well, just go back to
sleep, okay? I'm gonna take a shower; maybe that will help."
	"Okay." Justin's expression returned to one of concern as he lay
back down.
	Terry could feel Justin watching him as he stumbled to the bathroom
and turned on the shower. He made sure the water was real hot before
stepping in. 'Oh god what was that all about?' He demanded of his
subconscious. 'What a sick, messed-up nightmare; what does it mean!? Was it
just about a traumatic experience, or am I trying to tell myself something?
Is he too young, too innocent for me?' He slumped against the tile and just
let the water wash over him for a long time. He took deep breaths, tried to
empty his mind. Somehow, slowly he managed to relax. The nightmare
faded. He slipped out into the bedroom. Justin looked to be sleeping
peacefully. He pulled out a clean tank top and boxer-briefs from his
collection of black CK underwear in his suitcase and slipped them on. Since
he was wide awake, he went out on the balcony. Glittering far away was a
cluster of skyscrapers: Century City.
	Cityscapes at night always made him introspective about humanity,
society, technology, and how long this big fragile mess would last. But
tonight it was only flickering patterns of light. All he could think about
was the beautiful, vulnerable young man in the room behind him... but was
Justin really that fragile? Surely under that 'aw shucks' modest exterior
he must have a pretty hefty ego. And just to go through what he has with 'N
Sync the last few years, he had to be pretty strong.
	Terry jumped about a foot straight up when he felt a touch on his
arm.
	"I didn't mean to scare yah, but it's cold out here." Justin
whispered in his ear and draped a blanket over his shoulders.
	"Thanks." He smiled at the singer. He felt that pleaasant ache in
his chest. It was a small thing, bringing him a blanket, but it said a lot.
	Justin smiled back, and Terry realized he looked older, more mature
somehow. This in spite of his blue bathrobe... and Bugs Bunny slippers.
	"I never noticed the slippers before." he smirked.
	"Hey, my little brother got 'em for me for Christmas. They're fun."
Justin grinned and did a little dance with them so the ears wiggled
around. Then his face turned serious and he put his arm around Terry. He
just held him, staring out at the city next to him. After a few minutes he
said softly, "I'll never forget what you did for me tonight."
	"You saved me in the end, if I remember."
	But Justin snorted derisively. "I was a scared kid with a bat that
you took from them. If it had been me and anyone else, I'd be in the
hospital right now... or worse." His arm tightened around Terry's waist
	Then the designer felt satiny lips on his neck... and a tongue-tip
curled up his jaw... He shivered with pleasure. "Ohhh, Jusss..." he
whispered, his voice tight. Justin turned him so they were facing, and his
hands cupped Terry's ass in his long splayed fingers. Terry slid his hands
up Justin's muscled back, fingers digging into the unyielding flesh. Their
eyes met, and he thought he saw something new in the beautiful singer's
stare.
	Justin's eyes were such a deep blue they looked black sometimes,
like bottomless wells where the water sent back reflections of the sky. He
was hard to read then, especially when he wore that winning smile like a
shield.
	But now his mouth hung slightly open, his eyes half-lidded. While
his face held almost nothing of the little boy, there was a strange
combination of hunger and hesitation there. Then he pulled their hips
together and Terry could feel the teenager's erection against his own. The
hunger was winning out over the hesitation as their faces drew nearer.
	"I want you." Justin said softly, an instant before his mouth
closed over Terry's and his tongue plunged deep into his mouth.
	Terry surrendered willingly to the younger man's assertiveness, and
was soon caught up in his passion. They couldn't pull each other close
enough, their hands clutching at each others' bodies while they kissed with
a desperation like it was their last moment on earth.
	Justin pushed Terry back against the sliding door, grinding their
hips together shamelessly while continuing to kiss him. He laved Terry's
face and neck with his tongue, then kissed his neck and ears... then bit
gently. Terry groaned, then gasped at the power of this boy to drive him
crazy. He felt Justin's hands under his shirt, roughly caressing his chest
and abs before finding his nipples.  Justin rolled them between his
fingers, still pushing their crotches together and holding his mouth over
Terry's, their tongues fighting as they moaned in unison.
	At the same time Terry caressed Justin's muscled chest, delighting
at his smooth, satiny skin.
	Then Justin abruptly slid his hand inside Terry's boxer-briefs and
grabbed his hard penis. Terry froze in surprise and pulled back. But Justin
leaned in closer.  "I want you. Tonight. Now. I want us to do it." He
breathed huskily. Then he blinked and looked in the designer's eyes, the
boyish hesitation returning. "Do you...  do you want to?"
	Terry couldn't keep himself from smiling. "After you've got me all
worked up? How could I not?" Then his expression turned serious. "If you're
sure that's what you want. This isn't out of some kind of gratitude."
	"No! I want you! I... trust you now. I'm ready, if you want to." He
raised his eyebrows.
	"Okay then." Terry smiled crookedly. "Let's go inside though; I'm
not interested in giving all of Los Angeles a show."

----

	Nick Carter woke from a fitful sleep to the insistent ring of his
hotel room phone. "Hello?" He groaned into the receiver.
	"How's my little Nicky tonight?" A breathy voice asked.
	Instantly the teenager was wide awake, his heart racing. "I'm
okay." He said, his voice tight, even higher than usual.
	"It's your uncle Lou, Nicky. What are you doing?"
	Nick scrunched his eyes closed, as if that could shut out the
horrible memories. "N--nothing, Lou. Trying to sleep." He whined.
	"Have you been a good boy, Nicky?" The voice was raspy... almost
whispering... obscene. "Are you all by yourself? Uncle Lou misses you."
	Somewhere deep inside, Nick found strength. "Leave... me... alone!
Don't call me again or I'll tell Kevin! I'll tell everyone about you!" And
he slammed the phone down.
	He curled up in a fetal position and, despite his best efforts, he
began to cry, very quietly.
	The phone rang again. He lay staring at it, paralyzed in terror as
it rang several times, then finally switched to the answering service. A
minute later the message light began to flash. Lou would not have left a
message. He wiped his eyes, propped himself up and turned on the light. It
took him a minute (Nick was not the quickest guy in the world with
machines) but he figured out how to get his message, still afraid that it
could be his tormenter. He shuddered, unable to keep at bay the
memories. It started years ago, soon after they signed with TransCon...
whenever he and Lou were alone. The suggestive whispers... the
touching. Then the phone calls late at night, the threats that he had to
remain silent. Brian knew about it, he was sure. Sometimes he wondered if
his parents even knew... and by their own silence allowed it.
	The mechanized female voice chimed in. "You have one message,
delivered at... three... fourty... seven... AM..."
	"Nick, this is Brian, where the hell are you? Maybe you turned the
phone off.  I need some relief man. I'm coming over and for your sake you
better be there and not out messin around."
	Nick slowly hung up the phone. Well, at least for awhile he
wouldn't be alone; not that Brian was much comfort. He wished he could call
Kevin.

-----

	Once they were back inside the hotel room, Terry took
charge. Allowing the blanket to drop off his shoulders, he swept Justin
into his arms and carried the surprised youth to the bed. He gently laid
the now-passive Justin down and straddled him. Their eyes met, Terry leaned
down and gently kissed the singer on his full, perfect lips. He ran his
hands up and down the blond's lean flanks, teasing his armpits as they
continued to tenderly kiss.
	Justin wrapped one hand around Terry's neck and placed the other
over his heart. He jumped a little and gasped when Terry slid his hands up
under his wifebeater and his fingers circled the tiny buds of Justin's
nipples. He sent his tongue up and into the designer's mouth... just the
tip at first, slithering along Terry's lips.
	Their tongues danced together, flicking against each other, then
Terry sucked on the blond's, pulling it into his own mouth. At the same
time he began to tweak Justins's nipples, teasing them into hardness. He
was rewarded with a deep suddering moan for his efforts. Lowering himself
onto the youth, he sensuously rubbed their erections together through the
thin fabric of their briefs... up and down, side to side, all the while
gently twisting Justin's nipples and french kissing him. When he finally
broke the kiss, the blond was gasping for hair, his chest heaving.
	"Oh, man, ohhh man..." Was all Justin could say as Terry kissed his
jaw, his neck, the hollow at the base of his throat... then down to one of
those tender nipples. He sucked on it while caressing the other, then
nibbled on it very gently.  Justin's hands, now both on the back of Terry's
head, pushed him down hard as if to say 'More! more!' He writhed on the
bed, arching his hips up to meet Terry's, sometimes fitfully wrapping a leg
up around one of the designer's powerful thighs.
	Terry alternated on Justin's dime-sized buds of flesh for a long
time, enjoying the obvious pleasure he was giving to his partner. Then he
slowly began to kiss his way down over the blond's fat stomach to his
little navel. He punched his tongue in and swirled it around while Jusitn
trembled, then scooted himself down further. His face was inches above the
singer's cock, which was still trapped inside a pair of white
boxer-briefs. He could see every detail of the underside of the hard shaft
as it strained against the cloth. Terry licked at the cock through the
fabric and Justin shuddered from head to toe. He playfully bit at it and
mouthed it, getting a series of little cries and whimpers from Justin,
whose hands now played lightly over his head, fingers toying with his hair.
	Then Terry scooted further down so he was between the blond's lean,
muscled thighs. He eased Justin's legs further apart, then began to lick
along the insides of his legs, right up to the edge of the briefs. He bent
Justin's legs slightly, further exposing the space between them.  At the
base of Justin's pulsing hardon was the outline of a set of walnut-sized
balls, held tight in their sac. Once again, Terry toyed unmercifully with
the boy, not even touching his genitals through the briefs for a long
time. Finally, he flicked the tip of his tongue over Justin's balls through
the cloth, and the blond lifted his feet in the air in
response. Emboldened, he dove lower, licking at the spot behind Justin's
balls, and towards his ass. The singer made an appreciative little moaning
sound with every touch of his tongue, his legs still partway in the air.
	'God he is so worked up..' Terry thought with a little smile.
	He scooted up partway, and hooked his fingers under the waistband
of Justin's briefs. Then he hesitated, looking up to Justin's face as if
asking for permission to take the next step.
	The blond raised his head, his eyes were black under his heavy
brows, his jaw a little slack, but his expression was almost
imploring... 'yes do it...'
	As the blond rocked his hips up, Terry lifted the front of Justin's
boxer- briefs and eased them down, exposing his perfect cock inch by
beautful inch. When he had them down around Justin's thighs he leaned over
and ran the very tip of his tongue from the base of his cock, slowly up the
underside... to the tender little spot at the base of the glans. He flicked
his tongue around as Justin made tiny whimpers, then sucked the flaring
head into his mouth. holding it there, he worked Justin's shorts the rest
of the way off, then slid his hand along the inside of his thigh to cup his
balls, already tight in their crinkled sac. He fonded them, while sucking
in more cock bit by bit and slithering his tongue along the underside of
Justin's penis...
	The singer groaned deep in his throat, overwhelmed by this new
sensation.  He tenderly cradled Terry's head as he swallowed more and more
of his cock with every stroke. "That feels so nice, man..." he managed to
whisper. He didn't think he would last much longer, and he wanted Terry to
enjoy this too. He pulled the designer up by the armpits so they were
facing.
	"Are you okay?" Terry asked, concern on his face.
	"Better than okay." Justin smiled and kissed him. He pulled his
lover on top of him and eased his briefs down. He gently grasped the thick
cock and squeezed.
	"Mmmm." Terry moaned, his lips agianst Justin's neck.
	He stroked Terry's cock, at first slow, then faster. A couple times
Terry had to stop him and make him do it more gently. He felt like he was
getting the hang of it (it was strange doing it to someone else, but it was
kind of exciting), but before long Terry pulled his hand away and slid down
between his legs again. He soon forgot everything in a haze of incredible
pleasure as he felt his cock surrounded by warmth. In only a few minutes he
felt himself building towards cumming. He whimpered and squirmed as Terry
began to stroke him with one hand while sucking on the head. The sensation
was excruciating as he got closer and closer... so close... then finally he
exploded. His eyes rooled back in his head, his body arched off the bed as
his hands clutched at the sheets. He let out an inarticulate gasp as he
came in Terry's mouth.
	The taller young man smiled and sighed and climbed up to lie next
to the blond. He'd brush his teeth in a little while, the decided. It had
been a long time; the taste wasn't as bad as he remembered. Or maybe it was
because it was Justin...
	Slowly, Justin's breathing eased and slowed. His body stopped
shivering with his orgasm aftershocks and he relaxed in Terry's arms.
	"That was... incredible." Justin finally whispered. "Th-thank you."
	"You're welcome." Terry smiled, then began to place light kisses
along Justin's sweaty hairline.
	"But... you didn't cum." Justin said plaintively.
	"Don't worry about it; there's plenty of time for that. I enjoyed
making you feel good."
	Justin furrowed his brows. "But I want you to get off too, man."
	"That's not all it's about, Just." Terry said. It came out sounding
kind of condescending, and he was immediately sorry he'd said it that
way. He could see the hurt expression on Justin's face. "I appreciate that
you care, but it's cool, really.  There will be plenty of times. I just
want to hold you... please?"
	Justin pursed his lips, but laid down and let Terry pull the covers
up and put his arm around him.

-----

	Lance was cold. And bright light was burning through his
eyelids. Could it be morning already? He scrunched his eyes shut and
reached out without thinking. He encountered only empty space in the bed
next to him. "JC?" He mumbled tentatively.
	"Here, babe." The lanky singer emerged from the bathroom in his
boxers. "I didn't mean to wake you. It's early yet, go back to sleep."
	"What time is it?" Lance sat up and opened one eye part-way.
	JC smiled when he saw Lance. He had terrible bed-head, and his eyes
were all scrunched up so cute. "It's about seven. I was going to go to the
gym downstairs.. What's this?" His voice trailed off as he picked up the
fax by the door.
	"What is it? JC?" Lance squinted. As his eyes slowly adjusted, he
saw his lover reading something. JC's jaw muscles clenched as he read the
fax.
	"It's a note from your girlfriend." Josh snapped and tossed the
paper on the bed. "Alex says Danielle sends her love. I'm gonna be sick."
	Lance flinched. "Josh, please. Let's not go there again."
	"I'm sorry, Scoop. That wasn't fair of me." He managed a weak smile
and crawled back into bed next to Lance.
	"I thought you were going to the gym?" Lance raised a delicate
eyebrow, still feeling a little defensive after the Danielle comment.
	"Changed my mind." JC smiled mischievously. "I thought maybe I
should keep an eye on my boyfriend instead."
	"Good idea." Lance smiled, relieved. "I heard your boyfriend's been
seen getting out of a limo with Justin Timberlake and that hot Nick Carter
from Backstreet Boys."
	"Hm, big deal. And if you ask me, Nick Carter has been
'Super-sizing' his Big Mac meals a little too often. Doesn't he look like
he's gaining weight to you?"
	"Aren't you the petty little gossip, mister 'have respect for
everyone'!!" Lance feigned shock as he slid back under the covers up to his
nose.
	"Touche." JC grimaced. "That was unkind of me. He's probably
stressing out about their album."
	"He does look like he could shed a few pounds. though, poor
guy. Maybe he should work out with Kevin. Oh, speaking of gossip..." Lance
scooted close to JC and dropped his voice to a whisper... "Justin and I
think maybe Nick and Kevin are...  you know..." He wiggled his eyebrows.
	"No!" JC clapped his hand over his mouth in mock horror. "Backdoor
Boys!"
	"God, you are awful!" Lance laughed and flopped over on his
side. "Like WE have any room to talk!"
	"Well, you're the gossip, smarty." JC curled up behind
Lance. "Wanna make out?" He whispered, wrapping his arm around his lover.
	Lance didn't answer, but turned back over to face JC, a little
smile playing at the corners of his mouth.
	JC kissed him playfully on the nose. "I guess that's a yes."
	Lance pulled JC closer, and as their bodies met, he kissed Josh
hard on the lips, his tongue forcing its way into the taller boy's
mouth. JC moaned appreciatively...

	RING!  RING!

	"Dammit!" JC snarled, reluctantly breaking the lip-lock. "I want a
room with no phone!"
	Lance stretched out an arm and picked it up. "Yes?" He asked.
	"OH MY GOD!!!!"  It was Justin, obviously excited.
	"What are you doing up so early, Curly? I thought you'd be sleeping
late after last night." He grinned.
	JC's eyebrows shot up. He fought down a pang of worry -- or was it
jealousy?  -- wondering what Justin had done with Terry after their date.
	"OH MY GOD DO YOU KNOW WHO WE ARE RECORDING WITH TODAY!?!" Justin
shrieked into the phone.
	"Calm down, Curly!" Lance said after holding the receiver away.
	"GLORIA FREAKIN ESTEFAN!!!"
	Even JC heard that. "WHAT?!  We're recording with Gloria Estefan?!"
His jaw dropped.
	"Yes," Lance nodded. "It was going to be a surprise. How did you
find out, Justin?"
	"YOU KNEW! You jerk!" Justin hollered jokingly. "The studio called
and asked us to get there early. They said Gloria was already there
rehearsing with the musicians!"
	"Yeah, we are doing a new song; Diane Warren wrote it for a movie
Gloria is going to be in this fall. She asked us to sing with her. I hear
it's a great song." Lance grinned at JC, who began thrashing happily around
on the bed.
	"That is so cool!" JC crowed. "Why didn't you tell us!?!"
	Lance shrugged. "At first she was going to record her tracks in
Miami while we laid ours down here, but it turned out she was going to be
here in LA at the same time we were. She and I agreed that it would be nice
to meet and at least rehearse it together to get the feel of the song. I
worked it out so we could have some studio time together. I thought it
would be fun as a surprise."
	"Well I'm gettin' ready! Let's go! Half an hour!" Justin yelped and
hung up.
	JC just rolled his eyes. "Excitable boy."
	"This from the guy who just flung all the covers off the bed! Now
I'm cold!"
	JC smiled and crawled on top of Lance. "That was nice of you to
arrange all that. You know how much everybody loves Gloria Estefan." He
said softly.
	"So what do I get out of it?" Lance smiled and raised an eyebrow.
	"I'll keep you warm, James." He seductively ground his hips into
Lance's, then began to kiss the blond's neck.
	"Hmmm, I like that." Lance purred, running his fingers through JC's
hair.
	The phone rang again. JC snatched it up with a snarl.
	"No foolin around!" Justin shouted. "Git up, y'all!"

----

	"Justin, what are you doing in there!?! " Terry hollered from just
outside the bathroom door. "You're gonna be late."
	They hadn't hardly spoken to each other since the night
before. After the phone call had awakened them just before seven, Justin
had been all caught up in getting ready to meet Gloria Estefan. They were
both avoiding talking about the night before, and Terry knew that it needed
to be talked about. Justin obviously felt a little weird about it. He
wasn't sure why, though of course having your first sexual experience was
bound to be a little freaky.
	The door popped open and Justin stuck his head out. "Mah 'do has
gotta be perfect!"
	"It looks fine to me. You're singing, not doing a fashion show."
	Justin shot him a look like 'you just don't get it' before stepping
back into the bathroom, but he left the door open. "So are you gonna come
and meet Gloria?"
	"I'd like to, but I think I'd feel out of place. I really don't
have any business in the studio."
	"You could do an early report on the web site about the song -- get
pics with all of us together." Justin kept his eyes on the mirror, deftly
flicking a gelled curl here and there.
	"That's actually a great idea. Maybe there is more inside that head
than peroxide and bubblegum song lyrics. And I thought you were just a
pretty face."  Terry smirked.
	But Justin turned towards him with a frown. "Oh, thanks for the
compliment." He snapped. Then he went back to arranging his hair.
	"I was just teasing! You know I think you're very smart." Terry
tried to reassure him, realizing too late that his offhand remark had hit a
nerve with the youth.
	"Whatever." Justin brushed past Terry without looking at him.
	"Justin, please!"
	 "So you know where the studio is, come if you want. I'll put you
on the list. I got to go."
	"Okay, I'll see you there." Terry said uncertainly. He took a step
towards Justin to give him a kiss good-bye, but the singer ducked out the
door and closed it behind him.  'God, what did I do? He can't really
believe I think he's stupid!?'  Terry stared at the door sadly.
	Justin angrily wiped a tear from his eye. 'So I'm not Einstein, so
I can't even defend myself in a fight like he can, so I'm not a computer
genius. I'm just some brainless pretty boy to him. That makes me feel real
special. And after last night, when everything seemed golden...' Somehow
thinking of what he and Terry had shared the night before made the
designer's comment even more painful. 'I guess I screwed that up too. Since
I didn't know what to do, he thinks I'm a fool and can diss me. I wanted
to, I wanted to... I was just scared, dammit! And I thought maybe he didn't
mind, until he said that...' He felt tears stinging in his eyes.
	"Hey Justin! Heads up!" He practically ran into Joey at the
elevator. "Ready to meet Ms. Estefan?"
	"Oh, yeah man!" He forced a smile.
	"Everything okay? How was your night out last night?" Joey asked
gently, seeing through Justin's fake smile.
	"Yeah, everything's fine dude, just nervous I guess."
	Chris came out of his room still looking half asleep, and Lance and
JC emerged from Lance's room hand in hand.
	"Hey guys!" Lance grinned.
	"Look who's mister sunshine!" Justin snapped. Lance's smile
vanished and he looked stricken, as if Justin had physically slapped him.
	"Ohh, someone hasn't had his cereal!" JC teased as Joey punched the
button to call the elevator.
	"Back off, JC, I'm not in the mood." Justin fought back tears
again.
	"Curly, man what's wrong? Did you guys have a fight or something?"
Joey asked with concern.
	The elevator arrived and they all stepped in.
	"No, we didn't have a fight! It's nuthin, okay?"
	The other four guys exchanged worried glances. Chris looked
uncomfortable.  JC and Lance unconsciously moved closer to each other,
their fingers interlacing.
	"Okay, sorry!" Joey shrugged and let it drop.
	The limo ride to the studio took almost an hour, during which they
excitedly talked about meeting one of their musical idols, speculated what
the song was like, and how much they looked forward to getting home the
next day. Justin was finally perking up towards the end of the ride, but
they could all tell he was far from his usual self.
	At the studio entrance they signed in. Justin almost forgot to put
Terry on the list, and when he remembered for a split second he considered
deliberately leaving him off. Then, ashamed of even considering something
so petty, he quickly added him. They found their studio and filed quietly
into the control booth. There was Diane Warren, along with the producer and
a couple of technicians. On the 'lonely side' in the recording room sat a
lovely, petite woman wearing jeans and a sweatshirt, bulky headphones on
her head.
	A couple of the guys didn't even bother to suppress a gasp.
	"Oh, man, it's Gloria!" Chris whispered.
	Diane shot them a smile that nevertheless said "behave!" then
gestured to a pile of sheet music nearby. Across the top was written "Music
of My Heart." Lance handed them out silently as they all began to listen to
Gloria's voice and read over the music.
	After Gloria sang a few lines, however, she realized that the guys
had arrived and signaled for a break. She hurried through the soundproof
door. "Good morning, 'N Sync!" She smiled, extending her hand.
	They all looked up, five faces grinning foolishly. Lance recovered
first and gently took her hand. "It's an honor, Ms Estefan." He
smiled. "I'm Lance."
	"Why thank you, Lance, it's my pleasure." She smiled warmly. "But
if you don't call me Gloria I'll have to hurt you."
	They all laughed at the thought of Gloria Estefan putting the hurt
on Lance.  Introductions went all around, and even Justin got into the
spirit, flashing his trademark grin.
	"I can see you how slay the girls with that smile, Justin." Gloria
raised an eyebrow. "I hope they realize what a talented signer you are as
well."
	Justin looked down sheepishly, his face reddening. "Wow,
thanks... Gloria."
	"I'm serious, guys, I am very excited about working with you. You
all have wonderful voices, but even more important is how you blend
together. I've listened to all of your music and some of your harmonies are
just gorgeous. I'm looking forward to you bringing that to Diane's
song. She had you in mind when she wrote it, and we are both delighted that
we could work together on this."
	The boys smiled shyly and muttered embarrassed thanks.
	Gloria looked over at Diane. "They are talented, cute and modest
too, how often do you see that?" She grinned.
	"Not often around here!" Diane agreed.
	"Well, you guys, I don't know about you but I need something to
eat. There's a spread over in the lounge, and maybe we could go over the
song and the background where we'll be more comfortable."
	"Sounds good!" Joey said happily, holding his growling stomach.
	Gloria made them all feel at ease right away, and soon they were
laughing and joking together. She didn't miss the fact that Lance and JC
were inseparable, and she noticed JC absently caressing Lance's hand while
she gave them background on the "Music of the Heart" movie.
	After they finished eating, they went back over to the studio and
went over the music. Diane sat at the piano and demonstrated the melody and
everyone's part as she had envisioned it. "Of course, I want your input,
and be thinking of your ad libs." She smiled. "Let's try a run-through,
okay?"
	They all nodded, got settled and ready. In their headphones they
listened to the rhythm track....


Music of My Heart Diane Warren

Justin sings: "You'll never know what you've done for me.  What your faith
in me... has done for my soul.  You'll never know the gift you've given me.
I'll carry it with me....

Then JC enters: Through the days ahead I'll think of days before.  You made
me hope for something better; and made me reach for something more.

CHORUS ('N Sync)

The Gloria joins in, duet with Justin: You were the one... always on my
side always on my side (Justin) always standing by always standing by
(Justin) seeing me through...

Everyone/Gloria: You were the song that always made me sing I'm singing
this for you Everywhere I go I'll think of where I've been and of the one
who knew me better than anyone ever will again.

CHORUS

Gloria and JC: What you taught me... only your love could ever teach me you
got through when no one could ever reach me before 'cause you always saw in
me all the best I could be it was you who set me free...

CHORUS

Key change, CHORUS



Chorus: You taught me to run, you taught me to fly, Helped me to free the
me inside.  Helped me hear the music of my heart.  You've opened my eyes,
you've opened the door To something I've never known before And your love
is the music of my heart.

----

	As soon as he heard the melody and read the lyrics, Lance was
overwhelmed by the personal meaning he got from them. Of course it wasn't
the intended meaning of the song, but meaning was where you found it. At
the first chorus, Lance couldn't help looking over at JC, who he realized
was smiling at him. They already had the words memorized, and sang to each
other:

You taught me to run, you taught me to fly, Helped me to free the me
inside.  Helped me hear the music of my heart.

You've opened my eyes, you've opened the door To something I've never known
before And your love is the music of my heart.

	As the song progressed, JC and Lance's looks weren't lost on
anyone, including Gloria. Justin noticed, then pointedly kept his gaze away
from them. He found meaning of the words too, and he felt foolish for
overreacting to Terry's comment that morning. He wished Terry were here to
share this with him now, and found himself looking for the tall,
dark-haired young man to appear in the control booth. Something about this
song... maybe he could make Terry understand how he felt....

"You'll never know what you've done for me.  What your faith in me... has
done for my soul.  You'll never know the gift you've given me.  I'll carry
it with me...."

	The rehearsal went very smoothly, though Justin continued to be
distracted.  Gloria called for a break after a couple of hours. As they
left the studio, Joey pulled Justin aside. "I need to talk to you, Curly."
	"Okay, sure." Justin wouldn't meet his gaze.
	"Let's go to this other lounge down the hall." They got inside and
Joey closed the door. "Well?"  He demanded, but his face wore an expression
of concern.
	"Well what?" Justin still wouldn't look him in the eye.
	"He didn't... hurt you did he?" Joey put his hand on Justin's
shoulder. "Cause if he did..."
	"No!" The blond snapped. "In fact, he fought off four gay-bashers
with knives and bats while I stood there like a helpless kid. He got hurt,
but I couldn't do nuthin!"
	"What!?!" Joey's mouth fell open.
	Justin told him the whole story about their encounter.
	"Man talk about scary, you are lucky to be alive, Curly." Joey was
visibly shaken from just hearing about it.
	But Justin was already moving on. "And then last night we... well
it was great... or at least he was...." He blushed. "But this morning he
said something that made me wonder if maybe he thinks I'm just some stupid
kid. And now... maybe I took it the wrong way... man I'm messed up!" He
cried.
	"Justin, man..." Joey pulled him into a hug. "He doesn't think
you're stupid. He just told me the other day about how he was amazed how
fast you picked up the stuff he showed you on the computer."
	"Really?" Justin pulled back to look at him.
	"Yeah really. He likes you a lot Jus', and he doesn't seem like the
kind of guy who would hang out with someone if he didn't think they were
pretty special."
	"Well, I guess. Though sometimes I think he's just waiting for a
chance to get to Scoop."
	"Huh?" Joey was dumbfounded.
	"Yeah." Justin shrugged. "He admitted one day that he'd had a thing
for Lance since way back, long before he met us."
	"But...that was just a fan thing." Joey struggled to recover in the
face of this news... and for a moment he doubted Terry's motivations as
well. "He knows Lance and JC are together anyway. Justin, I'm sure that's
not it; but you need to talk to him about this and not let it stew around
in your head and mess you up."
	"I know." Justin sniffed.
	"Well, we better go back."
	Just as they came out into the lobby, Terry walked in, computer bag
over his shoulder. He saw Justin and Joey and managed a weak smile.
	"Excellent timing!" Joey grinned. He turned to Justin. "I'll see
you in a few minutes." Then he waved to Terry and scooted down the hall.
	"Hi." Terry said.
	"Hi." Justin smiled shyly.
	"Um, do you have a minute?"
	"Sure. Wanna go in here?" He gestured towards the lounge.
	"Okay." Terry followed him in, and set his bag down on a chair.
	Justin walked over to a picture window that overlooked a landscaped
lawn.  He stared out, not really seeing anything, his back to Terry.
	Terry wanted so badly to go over and hug Justin, but he was afraid
he would be rebuffed like that morning. He made it halfway across the room
and stopped.  "I'm sorry about what I said this morning. I never meant to
hurt your feelings." He murmured.
	"I know." Justin answered tonelessly. He was fighting tears again.
	Terry stood uncertainly for a moment, then suddenly the words came
flooding out. "Justin, don't you realize how intimidating it is for me to
be around you? You are famous around the world; millions of people adore
you. I'm a nobody!  Worse; people resent me when they see me with you. Do
you know how many nights I've lain awake next to you in bed wondering what
the hell I ever did to deserve the time I've had with you? I never, never
meant to hurt you with that comment. It's ironic really, because I hate to
be teased myself. I never know how to take it and I always let my feelings
get hurt. You'd think I would have learned not to tease other
people... especially someone I care about as much as I care for you." His
chest ached as he felt a growing sense of loss.
	The silence dragged on until Terry was afraid Justin wouldn't say
anything.  Finally, the teenager said, very softly, still facing away, "I
guess... I guess I never thought you were impressed with me that way. I
mean sure, junior-high girls fall for me, but they're just fans, and they
don't know me anyway. I guess I thought we were more like buds, like
equals, but more than that too. But you scare me man."
	"Scare you!" Terry looked up in shock. "Justin I would never mean
to --"
	"No, not like that." The blond smiled reassuringly, and even turned
partway around--then he turned back. "You scare me because you are so
complicated. I can practically hear stuff going on in your head all the
time. It's... intimidating. I guess that's a better word."
	Terry came to stand next to Justin at the window. "But that doesn't
mean I don't want the same things you do. And maybe I have some skills you
don't, but I can't carry a tune in a bucket, and I suck at sports -- two
areas where I hear you are pretty talented." He was relieved when he saw
he'd managed to get another little smile from Justin. He very gently put
his hand on the singer's shoulder. "I really like you a lot, and I like
being with you. Last night was really special for me.  But I... I
understand if you're having doubts about this, okay?  I don't blame you.
It's only been, what, a week? Kind of a whirlwind romance." He smiled
crookedly.
	"Yah, kinda sudden." Justin managed to glance over at him with a
little smirk before looking outside again.
	'I'm losing him...' Terry thought sadly. 'I knew this would never
work.' He reluctantly withdrew his hand. Justin didn't move. "Well, I guess
I'll go back to the hotel. I hope we can still be friends at least, but if
you're uncomfortable with me being around, I understand that too. I can ask
the label to get me something else, another assignment. Just let me know
what you want me to do. Or tell Joey or Lance or somebody if that's
easier." The designer managed to hold onto his composure as he walked to
the door.
	"Okay." Justin's voice was barely audible.
	Terry just stood there for a moment. He had just turned over his
future to an eighteen-year-old who probably despised him right now. But he
didn't care. All he could think about was that he had screwed up a chance
at happiness with an incredible guy. He'd fucked up his life again. Or
maybe this was just doomed from the beginning. Either way, he had no more
business here.
	The last-minute reprieve wasn't coming, Terry realized sadly. He
picked up his bag and stepped out into the hall -- and almost ran into two
young women. The leading one had long, dirty blonde hair and a pink
midriff-and-shorts outfit. She looked vaguely familiar. The other, taller
one, had on a skirt, a rather tight sweater, and too much lipstick. He was
too busy avoiding them to notice that Justin had turned around, a stricken
look on his face. He opened his mouth to speak, then he saw the women and
stopped his eyes wide.
	"Ex-cuse me!" The shorter one flipped the back of her hand towards
Terry dismissively as she brushed past. "Is Justin -- there's my honey!"
She squealed, her face lighting up into a blinding smile as she trotted up
to the surprised Justin and gave him a dramatic hug. Then she kissed
him... on the mouth. Justin caught Terry's eye but didn't react. Terry
turned and walked out.
	Still in the doorway, Danielle Fishel put her hands on her hips and
affected a pout. "Well Britney, we found YOUR boyfriend, now we need to
track down MY boyfriend. Justin, darling, where's Lance?"

----

	Meanwhile, in another room down the hall, Gloria, JC and Lance were
getting coffee. Gloria had insisted that they tell her the whole boat
accident story.
	"Well, I'm so glad everything has worked out okay." She said when
they were done. "So, how long have you two been together?" She asked with a
mischievous little smile.
	"Uhhh..." Lance's jaw dropped.
	"Don't worry, I think you guys make a great couple!" She beamed.
	"Uh, we are that obvious?" Lance was still reeling. JC just stood
there with a little smile playing across his lips, liking Gloria more and
more every minute.  "Well..." She rolled her eyes skyward. "I think I
guessed it somewhere between when you put your hand on JC's thigh, and when
he looked right into your eyes as he sang '..you've opened the door... to
something I've never known before...  and your love is the music of my
heart.'" Then she grinned at Lance's wide eyes.  "I guess it doesn't bother
you then, that we, uh..." Lance continued to stutter.
	But Gloria just smiled and patted him on the cheek. "You know, I
had drag queens in my concert tour a couple of years ago, boys."
	"Drag queens?" Lance looked even more confused, like this
discussion was going too fast for him.
	"Yes, they came out during 'Everlasting Love.' They were a big hit
every time!"
	"Those were drag queens?"
	JC and Gloria both burst out laughing. Then Gloria asked JC "Where
did you find him?"
	"He's from Mississippi." JC answered with a smirk, as if that
explanation was enough. Then he turned to Lance. "Hey man you got something
on your shirt..." He reached down towards the blond's chest.
	Lance looked down, falling for the old trick like he always
did... "What? Did I spill something at breakfast?"
	...and JC chucked him under the chin. "Gotcha!" He grinned and
Gloria giggled.
	Lance blushed. "Okay, so I'm kinda gullible, sorry." He shot JC a
look which said 'I can't believe you humiliated me in front of Gloria
Estefan!'
	But Gloria put her hand on his arm reassuringly. "Don't change
Lance, I think it's sweet that you're so trusting."
	JC put his arm around Lance and hugged him. "He'd better not
change; it's one of the many things I love about him!" Lance smiled
half-heartedly.
	"Oh, my, you guys are too cute for words!" Gloria said with a
smile. "I won't need any sugar in my coffee today!" She added, then started
down the hall. "See you back in the booth in a few minutes."
	"I'm sorry." JC took Lance's hands and smiled gently.
	"Then don't do it again." The blond sighed and looked away. "It
gets kind of old, okay?"
	JC's brows furrowed. "I didn't know it bothered you, really. I
think it is sweet that you are so trusting. I won't tease you about it
again, I promise... James?"  He tried to get Lance to meet his gaze.
	Finally the blond shrugged and managed a weak smile back at
him. "Let's just drop it, okay?"  "Okay." But JC felt guilty and confused;
he'd teased Lance before and had never seen him this sensitive about it. He
squeezed Lance's hands. "Please don't be mad at me; it kills me." He
begged.  He earned a genuine smile from Lance then. "You know I can't stay
mad at you. And I know you don't mean anything by it when you tease me. But
sometimes it just brings back bad memories... from when I was younger." His
smile faded as he remembered.  "I'm sorry James. I really am." JC pulled
him into a hug and kissed him tenderly.  Lance returned the kiss, his hands
roaming over JC's sinewy back.  Then he rested his forehead against
JC's. "Mmm, apology accepted, Mister Chasez.  Now I guess we should be
getting back."  "Cool. I can't wait to sing 'Your love... is the music of
my heart' to you again."  "You're a very silly young man." Lance smirked.
"And you're a very cute one." JC bumped hips with him playfully.  Hand in
hand they headed back to their studio. They were completely unprepared for
what -- or who -- was waiting for them.

----

	His head in a fog of pain and confusion, Terry practically ran out
the studio exit. All he could see in his mind was the image of Britney
Spears kissing Justin, and calling him 'honey'. That was not a 'just
friends' kiss either, and Justin made no attempt to stop her. His Justin,
who he had made love with just hours earlier, who he thought he might be IN
love with. But this only drove home to him that he didn't belong here. He
didn't understand Justin's life, or what any of this was all about. He only
knew that he couldn't deal with this emotional roller-coaster for one more
day.
	He hailed a cab, climbed in, managed to tell the driver his hotel,
then put his head down on his computer bag. He didn't cry, though he wanted
to.
	 At the hotel he numbly went to his room and laid on the bed. It
only took him a few minutes to make a decision. He would not leave this up
to Justin. It would be better for everyone if he removed himself from this
formula. Justin could work out his own issues with JC and Lance and
Britney. Terry never thought he would be homesick for his apartment in
Washington. Here he was jetting around with pop stars! But he just couldn't
handle this. First his crush on Lance, his growing feelings for Justin, and
now, everything that happened today... what was Justin's relationship with
Britney? The designer had heard the persistent rumors what she and Justin
were dating, but Justin hadn't even mentioned her once the whole time he
had been with Terry.
	Well, that was the last straw. Instead of going to Orlando with the
rest of them, he would go home to DC... tonight. He looked at his watch. It
was still early afternoon; he had a few hours to get out before the boys of
'N Sync would be returning. He'd have to leave them a note. Time to write
that later, he though, as his eyes began to burn with tears again.
	Terry rolled over on his side and curled up in a ball, clutching a
pillow. He finally released all the pain that had been fighting to break
free. His body convulsed with violent, yet almost noiseless, sobs....

To be continued...

----

End of Part THIRTEEN!
Email me and tell me what you think!   lictor (at) aol (dot) com