Date: Fri, 18 Jun 1999 21:58:56 -0700 From: Zeo Subject: N Sync Love pt.11 ** Due to a miscalculation in story length, this will not be the last ** segment of the story. The next segment shall be the final one. ** I've had a lot of fun writing this story, but as you know everything ** must come to an end. ** I thank all of you who have read the story and gave me feedback on ** it as well as good plot ideas. ** Comments, rants, raves, questions: ** zeo@sfsu.edu AIM: Zeo M ICQ: #31565736 Chapter 21: Question "C..Chris? Did you? You couldn't be? Are you?" I stuttered out in shock. "Well no," he softly replied. "Then what was that kiss for?" still confused. "I wanted to show how much I cared for you and how much I really love you," Chris softly spoke. I put my arm around his shoulder, "I never knew that you felt like that towards me." "Yeah..well, I do," he looked up at me, "I felt really bad that I didn't spend any time with you when we were in SF." "Is that why you stopped by at the theatre and asked me out?" He nodded, "That's also why I called and asked if you would come down here. Even if it was for only a day, I wouldn't have cared." I gave him a deep hug, "Thanks...But about the kiss..." Chris giggled, "Oh that...guess I over did it huh?" "Not at all," I smiled at him, "People in Europe do the same thing." "That's probably where I got the idea from," smiling back, "It's good to have you here." "It's good to have good friends," I commented. "Yeah...it is." "So..." I started up again, "Is this what you planned for the rest of the night?" "Yeah...Do you want to do something else?" "No...I like it just the way it is," I turned to Chris and smiled at him. He smiled back, "I'm glad that you liked it. Say...are you looking for a significant other." "Umm..no not really," I slowly said, "Why do you ask?" "Well, I know a few people..." "Nope," I stopped him. "Why not?" Chris whined. "There's no way I'm going to be set up." "Oh come on," he whined again, "Don't you want to try it out?" "I know what you're doing and I really appreciate it, but I'm sorry...I have to decline." "Oh all right," he gave up, "I'm just trying to be a friend." "You don't have to try...you're already a friend," squeezing his shoulder a little. "Thanks," he smiled back at me. The rest of the night was very peaceful and quiet. Roasting marshmallows is so much fun. We cracked jokes and talked about relationships most of the time. He was curious on my point of view about dating. I gave my opinion about that kind of stuff and he was interested if he could use some of my ideas the next time he tries to date. By the time the fire got small, the moon was high in the night sky. We decided to call it a night and headed back to the jeep. Besides, we have to discuss the video early tomorrow morning. It was a very clear night. The whole way back, I could see the city glowing under the moon's light. In the sky, little dots twinkled about without a set pattern. Soon enough Chris arrived at Lance's house. "Thanks for everything," I turned to Chris. "No, thank you for understanding," Chris smiled back. "That's just me I guess. Well..see you tomorrow at the studio." "See you soon and don't be nervous." "Me? Nervous? Ha," I joked. Chris laughed, "Whatever. Good night then Mano." "Good night." I hopped out of the car and walked to the front door. I knocked on the door and Lance opened it. I waved Chris good-bye and he did the same. I quietly closed the door and slipped off my shoes. "How was the night?" Lance asked. "It was really cool," I smiled at Lance, "I had a really good time." "That's cool," Lance smiled as we walked upstairs, "What did you guys do?" I thought for a second, "Chris finally finished the tour of the city." "That's cool." "Yeah..We ran out of time before he could show me the night life...It was really cool." "Glad that you enjoyed yourself," we stopped at my room, "Well, I'll wake you up tomorrow morning, okay?" "Sure thing," I smiled, "Good night." "Night." I entered my room and quietly closed the door. I could hear Lance close the door of his room as well. I looked out through the window and saw the full moon in the sky. I smiled at the sight. I took off my clothes and put on a white shirt and boxers. I slid into bed and slowly drifted into sleep. I awoke in the middle of the night feeling dehydrated. It must have been the sea air as well as munching on marshmallows all night. I groggily got out of bed and headed downstairs. Stumbling in the darkness, I tried not to make any noises as I felt my way to the kitchen area. Finally reaching my destination, I pulled out a small glass from the cupboard and filled it with water. After quenching my thirst, I headed back up to my room. When I passed by Lance's door, I could hear sheets being ruffled about as well as unusual moans. Concerned for Lance, I slowly and quietly opened his door to take a peek. Lance was in his bed, tossing and turning from what looked like to be a nightmare. I quickly entered his room and closed the door. Lance was drenched with sweat and his shirt as well as his sheets were wet. I knelt down beside him and gently shook him. Lance quickly sat up right covered in sweat, breathing very hard and staring blankly at the sheets. "Lance?" I whispered, "What's going on?" Lance didn't answer. He just kept staring at the sheets. "Lance?" I worriedly whispered again, "Let me get you out of that shirt. You'll catch a cold." I gently grabbed his clinging shirt and slowly pulled it off. Once off, I turned on his desk lamp and put my arm around his shoulder. "Lance? Please tell me what's wrong." I whispered again. Finally, he slowly turned his head towards me, "I...I...had a bad dream." "That was one hell of a dream," I worriedly replied, "Do you want to talk about it?" "No," he quickly spoke, "Well..um..I guess." "If you don't want to, I understand." "No, no...you're right. I might feel better if I told someone about it." "Ok...remember, I'll always be here for you." He nodded, "Well it was about me coming out to the guys and they laughed and said that they never wanted to see me again," a frown formed on his face. I gave him a deep hug, "You know that's not true. They would never do that to you." "I suppose..but I also told this to my parents and then they started to yell at me and then I got kicked out of the house," a tear rolled down his check. "Lance..." I whispered, "Please don't think like that. I understand why it's so hard on you. Please...don't cry," I begged, "I hate it when I see my friends so sad." He sniffled a little, "I..I'll try." I released my hug and looked into his eyes, "You should get some rest. We have a long day tomorrow, okay?" He nodded his head, "Good. Let me get you a new shirt," I got off the bed and went to his dresser. I pulled out another white shirt and gave it to him. "Ok...I'm going to go back to bed. Just remember, I'm for ya, you hear?" Lance smiled a little as he put on the new shirt. As I headed to the door Lance said, "Um..Mano?" I turned around, "Yep." "Can I ask you for a favor?" "Anything?" "Well...um..could you sleep here for the night...I don't want to be alone," he softly spoke. "Sure no problem. Let me get my pillow and blanket," I said as I reached for the doorknob. "No...I mean...here...in my bed." I turned around, "Are you sure?" I slowly asked. Lance nodded, "Yeah...please?" he weakly asked. He was in so much pain, "Sure..no problem." "Thanks," Lance looked up and smiled a little. I crawled into his bed and pulled the covers. I was facing his back and I can tell he was shaking a little. I wrapped my arms around his waist and soon enough he stopped shaking. "What if your parents sees us in bed together?" I whispered. "They won't," Lance whispered back, "I'm always the first one up so don't worry." "If you say so. Good night Lance," I whispered as I closed my eyes. "Good night Mano. Thank you for everything," he whispered back as drifted off to sleep. This felt a little weird. Holding Lance in bed nonetheless, though I really wouldn't have mind if JC would do this as well. I could hear Lance lightly snoring as I drifted off to sleep as well. Lance had a peaceful sleep the whole night through. I was wakened by a slight shaking at my shoulder. "Mano," Lance whispered, "Wake up." I yawned and slowly opened my eyes. "Hey wake up," Lance said a little louder, "We've got about an hour to get ready." I blinked from the light in the room, "Oh ok...Let me get ready then," I yawned again. I sat up on the bed, "By the way...how was your sleep?" Lance turned and smiled, "Thank you. I slept well." "That's good to hear. Well, I'd better get a move on then," I got off the bed and headed back to my room. I grabbed a change of clothes and headed for the bathroom. Took a quick shower and fixed my hair and such. I was sort of nervous at this point. I dunno why, but I was. Once I was done I headed down the kitchen to get a bite to eat before we left. Looking at my watch, I knew that I wouldn't have time to make anything, so I scrounged around the fridge. Lance finished his preparations and saw me looking for something to eat. "Mano," he said and I stopped to look at him. "Yep." "You don't have to do that." "Do what?" "When we get to the studio, we can eat there." "Really? That's cool, but will there be something for me to eat?" "Sure there is. Pancakes, waffles and all that non meat stuff that you don't like," he giggled. "Oh ok," I closed the door, "Guess that means I'm ready then." "Cool. Let's get a move on then." I picked up my shoes and we headed out of the house. Lance gave me a run down of what everybody is going to do. It was going to be a typical day at the studio. Well, for them at least..not for me. The drive took about 30 minutes and ended up in the same place which I still remember. Lance parked his car in the parking lot and we hopped out. Our first destination was the cafeteria. Since it was pretty early in the morning, there weren't that many people eating. Lance was right, there was a ton of food on the counter. He and I grabbed a plate and started piling food on. Then we sat in the middle of the place and started talking about what I'm supposed to for the "interview" and such... Chris was already down in the dining room eating cereal. Nathan walked down the stairs and joined Chris in breakfast. They talked about mundane things about the studio and stuff like that. Justin joined them 5 minutes later and they all had a bowl of cereal for breakfast. Justin looked around the table, "Where's JC?" "I dunno," Nathan replied, "Haven't seen him around yet." "Yeah, me neither," Chris looked around as well, "It's not like him to oversleep." "I'll go check up on him," Justin got off the chair, "We have plenty of time before we start." Justin quietly walked up the stairs and towards JC's room. He was about to knock when he noticed that the door was slightly ajar. He peeked into the room so see if everything's all right. JC was sitting at his desk looking at the jeweled encrusted pin that was given to him. He a admired the small sparkling diamonds as well as the sapphires and emeralds. Thoughts of our encounter filled his mind as well as his first kiss by another guy. JC felt like a jerk for doing all those things. But he couldn't seem to admit to himself that he is attracted to guys. The thought of it scared him...He didn't know why, it just did. He let out a small sigh and placed the pin back into the black box where is came from. He slid the box into a drawer out of sight. Justin took a deep breath, "Hey JC. You don't want Lance to yell at ya if we're late, are ya?" "I'll be there in a minute," JC replied, "Forgot to set the alarm." "Okay, just making sure." "Don't worry. I'll be there in a minute." Justin stared at the door for a minute or so and then walked back down to the dining table. He told Chris that JC didn't set the alarm clock and he'll becoming to eat soon. About five minutes passed by when JC finally came down. Chris asked to see if he was feeling all right and JC said he was. End of story. When they finished their breakfast, everyone went back to their rooms. It really didn't take long for everyone to get ready. It took all of them not more that 30 minutes to take a shower and get dressed. Once they were ready to go to work, Justin grabbed his keys and they all piled into the Mercedes and headed off towards the studio. After breakfast Lance gave me a quick tour of the complex. There were about five music rooms, a bunch of conference rooms, a recreational room, and some other rooms which I forget the name of. After the tour was over, we headed to one of the conference rooms where the director and manager were in. "Well, you ready?" Lance asked me with a smile. "No, but I'll go in anyways," I smiled back. "Don't be." "Well what if I totally screw up the video or something," I whined a little. "Yeah right," Lance snickered, "Can't go wrong with the video according to the sketches." "Okay..before we go in," I looked at Lance, "Which video are we gonna talk about?" He gave me his Southern smile, "You'll see." I rolled my eyes back, "You know how much I hate it when you do that." "I know," he giggled, "Come on..enough wasting time." "K..I'm coming," I groaned. Inside was a spacious conference room. In the middle was a very large, black table ringed with cushy chairs. In the center of the table was a large plate of finger sandwiches as well as some coffee. The room was well illuminated due to the large windows on one side. Lance and I sat next to each other on one side of the table. "This room is nice," I commented, "Especially the chairs." "I suppose so," Lance replied, "That's what I thought when I first stepped in. You get used to it." "Ah ok...So where is everybody?" I looked around. "They'll be here. I'm usually the first one here and wait for everyone to come it." "An early bird, eh?" I joked. "Yup yup," he smiled. Lance and I chatted for a while talking about his first time being here and all that other stuff. I was surprised that we were quite early. The meeting didn't start until 30 minutes later, so we had a pretty good time talking about stuff. About 20 minutes after, the manager and director entered the room. Lance introduced me to them and we did some light conversation. They were mainly interested in how I met the guys and why I made the sketches. I gave them a rough answer about everything...I couldn't tell them everything of course. About 3 minutes before the meeting started, the rest of the gang slowly filed in. Everyone was here including Nathan. Justin sat next to me while JC was across the table. I quietly sighed and soon enough the meeting began. "You have a lot of talent here, Mano," the director said. "It was nothing," I replied, "I just drew them for fun." "Well, in either case," the manager spoke up, "You did a fantastic job and we would like to use these sketches as the basis for the new video." "That reminds me," I quickly said, "Which video are you going to shoot?" "Didn't they tell you?" the manager quizzically asked and I shook my head, "Ah, well the next video will be A Little More Time," the gang had a huge smile on their faces. "I get it," getting the picture, "So, you're going to go with the WWII mother and son sketches, right?" "Exactly," the director answered, "There are a few questions about it though." "Sure, ask away." "The ending is a bit sad. Is it all right to change it so that the guy comes home?" "Sure, it's your video. You guys could do whatever you want with it." "Nonsense," the manager stepped in, "You saved us a lot of time by doing this. The least we could do is make the video as close as possible to what you had originally planned." "Well..why..um...thank you," I spoke out, "But really...it's okay to change it. I drew it cause I thought the guys would like it." "Course we like it," Chris said, "You've got talent." I blushed a little. "Okay, the ending will be a happy one," the director said, "Here's another one for you, is this sketch supposed to be the man who goes off to war?" the director handed me the sketch. My eyes bugged out, "Well...um.." I started to stutter. "What's up Mano?" Justin asked. "This...wasn't supposed to be in there," I slowly spoke. "Oh okay," the director replied, "Thought it was a character sketch." "Um..no..it's not," I replied. "Can I ask you who that is?" Justin asked. "Maybe later." "Okay." I carefully laid the sketch face-down in front of me and resumed with the meeting. Since I have never really been in one, I didn't know what to expect. The director asked a whole bunch of questions about the sketches and he threw his own ideas along with them. Everyone was participating in the creation of it and everybody had a good time. Time flew by while we were cracking jokes at each other and just acting goofy. Time to go to lunch already and everyone complained about getting hungry. The manager laughed and said that the meeting will start back up again in about an hour and a half. Chris obviously cheered at the prospect of eating while the rest of us laughed at him. All of us filed out the room and headed for the cafeteria. JC was behind everyone and I slowed down to talk to him. "Hey JC," I said. "Hey Mano," he replied. "Um..want to have some lunch together?" I nervously asked. "Oh..sorry," he started, "Well you see..my girlfriend is coming by in a few minutes and we're going out to lunch." "Oh..." I got even more depressed, "I understand. Guess I'll catch you when you get back." "Yeah..guess so," he smiled a little and went down the corridor. I stood there looking like an idiot. I felt numb all over and I just lost my appetite. Instead of going down the corridor where the guys went, I turned around and headed in the other direction. I didn't feel like eating anymore. I wanted to go home and cry, but I'm stuck here for another eight days or so. I aimlessly walked through the building not really thinking of where I was going. I passed by an empty sound room and caught a glimpse of a piano in the room. I was told that playing music would cheer me up. Might as well give it a try. Everyone was talking to each other all the way to the cafeteria. They were excited to get the new video going and get back up on tour. No one noticed that JC and I were missing. Each of them grabbed a plate and started to pile on some food. "Hey Mano," Justin said. Then he looked around, "You guys...Where's Mano and JC?" Everyone stopped putting food and looked around. "Don't know," Joey said, "They were right behind us." "You think Mano got lost?" Chris half joked. "I don't think so," Lance replied, "I gave him a full tour of the first floor. I doubt that he would get lost." "He could still be talking to the director or something," Chris suggested. "Yeah, you're probably right," Justin said, "Let's start and wait for them to come back." "Good plan," Joey said. They resumed their activities and started to eat lunch. Everyone chatted for a while and started to get worried. "This not like either of them," Lance said. "I know what you mean," Justin added, "They're never this late or if they are, they would at least contact one of us." "What could be keeping them two?" Chris asked. "Don't worry about them," Nathan spoke up, "They know that they're supposed to be back. They're probably sick of the food around here." "Maybe," Justin said, "Just to make sure, I'll go look for them." "You're not going to stay and eat?" Nathan asked. "It's cool, I'm pretty full." "Hey Just, I'm coming with ya," Lance said, "It'll be faster that way." "Cool. See you guys in a bit." "Good luck," Joey said and Chris nodded. "I'll go back where the meeting room is and see if he's there while you go scout around," Justin said to Lance. "Good plan. I'll call ya if I find them." "Okay." Lance and Justin went on their separate ways and hunted for us. Justin peeked into every room on his way to the meeting place. No luck. He kept going down the corridors and heard a faint noise. Justin kept walking down the corridor and heard the music get louder and louder. He stopped in front of one of the music rooms. Taking a peek inside, he saw me playing the piano. Justin was about to say something, but he held it back. Instead, he slipped into the room and listened to me play. I was really saddened...not upset, but sad. I thought I had someone to hold, someone to love...but it wasn't so. It was my fault and I knew it too. I shouldn't have rushed it...I should have kept my mouth shut and none of this would have ever happened. I kept on playing and somehow...I slowly remembered a song from the past. I didn't know all the words to it, but I had an idea of how it went... "It's not that I can live without you...It's just that I don't even want to try," I slowly started singing, "Every night I dream about you...Ever since the day we said goodbye." Justin perked up a little and listened closely to what I was singing, "If I wasn't such a fool...Right now I'd be holding you," I continued singing, "There's nothing that I wouldn't do..Baby if I only knew." I started to play softer, "I don't know how it got so crazy...But I'll do anything to set things right...Cause your love is so amazing...Baby you're the best thing in my life," I sang missing a few notes, "Let me prove my love is real...And made you feel the way I feel...I promise I would give the world...If only you would tell me..." Justin listened to the song and didn't really understand why I would be singing it. The only thing that he could think of is that I had some relationship problems back home. "Give me one more chance, to give my love to you," I continued, "Cause no one on this earth loves you like I do, tell me..." I kept playing almost losing my voice a few times, "The words to say...The road to take...To find a way back to your heart...What can I do...To get to you...And find a way back to your heart..." a small tear rolled down my cheek as I slowly stopped playing. Chapter 22: Answers I finally stopped playing knowing that I would feel even worse than before. I sat there in silence staring at the keys doing nothing. Justin felt the silence in the room and started to so do something. "That's a good song," he shyly said. I snapped my head up and looked Justin, "Um..well..I..I guess so," I stuttered out. "I'm sorry for dropping in like that," he apologized, "I..I should get back to the rest of the guys." "No," I quickly said, "It's okay...Um..I should go back with the rest of you guys." "Are you sure?" Justin asked, "If you don't want to, I'll tell the guys that you're busy with something else." I smiled a little, "No it's okay. I'm getting a little hungry." "Okay..let's go before lunch is over," he said smiling back. I agreed and we started our trek back to the cafeteria. Justin and I chatted during the walk back to the cafeteria. He asked if I was all right and all that other stuff and I assured him that everything was going good. He kinda eyed me suspiciously, but let it go. Lance looked around to see if he could find either JC or me. Looking inside the building is fruitless, so he decided to try if we were outside on the lawn. He scanned the area and walked around a bit. Out of the corner of his eye, he caught sight of JC. JC was staring at the fountain not really moving. Lance was worried about him. He slowly walked towards JC and sat next to him. "Hey JC," Lance softly spoke. "Hey Lance," he replied. "Is..um..there something wrong?" "Steph was supposed to be here, but I guess she couldn't make it." "Oh ok..well everyone was worried that you weren't eating with us." "Sorry about that," JC apologized. "Naa..it's cool. We're just a little worried. Guess I'll be heading back then." "Before you go," JC said and Lance looked at him, "Um..what would you do if you loved someone, but just couldn't tell them?" Lance blushed a little, "Well...um...I don't really know," he stuttered out, "I'm still looking remember." "Yeah..I know. Sorry to pop that question on you." "It's cool. You know that I'm always here for you." "I know," JC putting his hand on Lance's shoulder, "Thanks for being there." "Anytime," he smiled back, "We'd better go with the rest of the guys." "Yeah..you're right," JC stood up, "Let's get a move on." Justin and I rejoined with the rest of the group and started to talk about the video. I was pretty excited about everything, but it wasn't enough to really cheer me up. I tried as best as I could to hide the fact and it looked like it worked out pretty well. I tried not to think much about it, but it didn't really work. A few minutes later, JC and Lance joined us. I tried not to make any eye contact with JC at all. He explained to the rest of the group that his girlfriend was supposed to stop by to have some lunch, but didn't show up. I wasn't sure to believe him or not, but I did anyways. The group lunch lasted about 30 minutes before we had to get back to the meeting room. Once in the room, we resumed on the topic of the video. I concentrated all of my energy on the video and blocked off any thoughts that I had about JC. The director like many of my ideas and the things he didn't like, he altered just a little of it. The manager, director and the rest of the guys wanted me to be in the video as the army guy, but I turned them down every time. I never liked cameras and being in a video where millions of people are going to watch it is a definite no. It was a long day, but it didn't seem like it. Everybody had a few days off till production would start so all of us could be together for a while. Once the meeting was over, everyone was ready to get to bed. It was around 8:30 when everything ended. All of us left the building and I went with Lance to his car. JC suggested that all of us should go to a picnic at the state park near here. Everyone agreed and we headed in our separate directions. The drive back was pretty normal. I was getting a little tired and was starting to fall asleep in the car. It would be another 30 minutes before we would arrive. I wasn't really physically drained, but I was totally wiped out...I didn't know why. Justin, JC, Chris and Nathan arrived at the house rather quickly. After a long day of going over the sketches, they sat around the TV munching on a few snacks they pulled out of the fridge. "That's a good idea JC," Chris said while sipping some soda. "What idea?" JC asked. "Duh? Having the picnic tomorrow." "Oh that," sitting down on the couch, "It was no biggie. Since we have the day off, might as well do something with it." "Are you sure you want to go?" Justin questioned while watching the news. "Why not?" looking at Justin. "The weather report says that there is a 30% chance of rain tomorrow. Maybe we should stay in?" "Come on Justin," Nathan whined, "Where's your sense of relaxation?" "I still have it. I'm just giving some alternatives here." Chris laughed a little, "You're sounding like JC." "Hmm...guess I spend too much time with him," Justin joked and JC snickered. "So we're going to have a picnic tomorrow right?" JC asked. "Yep," Chris agreed. "I wanna make this picnic a little bit interesting," JC said. "Oh?" Justin perked up, "How so?" "Well..I was thinking of doing a little joke on Mano..." "Are you sure?" Justin questioned. "Justin," Nathan said, "It's just gonna be a harmless joke. Don't worry so much." Justin thought about it for a minute, "I suppose..." "Great!" JC smiled, "Here's what we'll do......." Exhausted, I slept very soundly in the bed. I didn't even bother to change clothes before hitting the hay. Never knew that making a video was so complicated and so demanding. To think, these guys have to constantly do that kind of meetings. No wonder why they would love to have a vacation all the time. After being as dead as a log, I slowly opened my eyes to the first rays of the new day. I squinted a little until my eyes got used to the light. The usual morning routine, pulling out new clothes, taking a shower and all of that boring stuff I always do. Once done, I headed downstairs and once again no one was here. Everybody seems to work a lot around here. I headed over toward the kitchen and saw a piece of paper on the counter. Hey Mano, Sorry I had to leave again this morning, but I promise it's going to be a good day. I'm with the rest of the guys setting up for the picnic that JC suggested and it should all be ready in a couple of hours. A limo is going to pick you up and take you the park that you and I rode horses in. It's gonna be a great day! See you there soon. Lance `Pretty cool,' I thought to myself, `Wonder who else is going?' From reading the note, I decided to get a light breakfast and wait for the big picnic that Lance is so hyper about. Hell, I'm hyper about it as well. It was only 10 in the morning and I was jumpy for the picnic. The note said nothing when the limo is going to arrive so I was pacing around the house. To calm myself down, I decided to watch a little TV. The news came on and it was during the weather report. It seems that there would be a 50% chance of rain today. It would really suck if it rained on the picnic. Well, soon enough there was a honking outside. I looked through the window and saw the limo patiently waiting for me on the street. I left the house and hopped into the awaiting vehicle. Once the door was closed, the vehicle headed towards its destination. It was turning out to be a beautiful day after all. The sun was high in the sky and only a few clouds dotted the light blue sky. After 30 minutes or so of driving, the limo slowed and finally came to a stop. I stepped out of the vehicle and looked around. It was exactly as I had remembered it. The tall trees loomed in the background and the sounds of horses trotting filled the air. I headed towards the little building and got permission to use a horse. Once done, I went to the corral and picked out my steed. Now this is what I called a picnic. Out in a park with horses to ride on as well as being a beautiful day. I hopped on the horse and started the slow gallop towards the picnic area. It was exactly as I remembered it. The sunlight filtered through the lush trees and the stream trickled in the distance. I came upon a sign which said that the picnic area was about a mile away. I kept going along the trail taking in the clean air and beautiful scenery. A few minutes into the ride, I heard something different. As I kept going along the trail the noise got louder and louder. Then it hit me. It was the sound of a galloping horse. Who would be riding that fast? I nudged my horse to the side of the trail just in case the person riding needed to ride past me. As I kept riding, I saw a head pop up over the hill. Then I was in total shock to who it was. "MANO!" Chris yelled from his galloping horse, "MANO!" The horse sped as fast as it could towards me until it was right in front of me. "Mano thank God you're here!" Chris hysterically said. "Chris, Chris, calm down," I tried to figure out what was going on, "What's going on?" "It's...It's...JC," he stuttered out. I was in total shock, "Wha...what happened to JC?" I tried not to think of the unimaginable. "He...he was riding...and horse got startled...fell and hit his head..." saying incoherently. "Oh my God," I whispered, "You go to the office and I'll see what I can do," I ordered Chris. He nodded his head and galloped down the trail. I raced the other way as fast as the horse would go. All I could think of was JC..praying that he would be all right. I passed by trees, bushes, plants, everything passed by like a blur. I didn't care...I needed to get to JC as fast as I could. I came upon a hill and I could see people gathered around. I raced down the path and I suddenly saw what I feared most. I ran down the hill and everyone looked up. "Mano!" Lance ran up to me, "Thank God you're here!" "Where's JC? He is hurt?" I quickly asked. We ran to where JC way lying. He was next to a rock and the rock and his face were smeared with blood. "Oh no," I almost broke down. "He was thrown off his horse and landed on a rock," Joey said. I quickly bent down and carefully examined JC. "Lance, I need some bandages or clean cloth. Justin call the ambulance, Joey I'm gonna need some water," I ordered them still working on JC. I checked his pulse and it was there. I also checked around the head area as well as if there were any other broken bones. I looked up and everyone was still there. "What are you guys waiting for!" I yelled in confusion, "He's gonna die if you stay there!" They just stood there, "Don't any of you care?" Again they just stood there. I was about to panic and completely lose it. Then I heard a small noise. I turned around and saw a smile on JC's face. "JC?" I softly said. Then everybody started to giggle. "Wha...what's going on here?" totally confused. Then JC started laughing followed by everyone else. He stood up and brushed the dust off himself still laughing. "You...you're not hurt?" I softly asked. "Hahaha..." JC continued, "The look on your face...." he kept laughing. "That was so funny," Chris said, "Yeah...the look on your face..." he started to laugh as well. "This....was a joke?" I questioned. "Oh come on," JC said sarcastically, "It was only a joke." Then something surprised the hell out of me. A girl came and helped JC dust off. The JC turned and kissed her on the lips. It really was over between us. I just stood there numb by everything. JC then turned and smiled at me, "Lighten up. No harm done." I gave a weak laugh, "Yeah...no harm." "Say," Nathan spoke up, "Let's get something to eat. I'm starving." "Good idea," Jay replied, "Setting up the table made me hungry." Everybody started talking and conversing with each other while heading towards the table. Justin walked beside me, "Don't take it too hard," he softly said, "JC wanted to do something different." I gave a small smile, "I suppose." I slowly waked to the picnic table and sat down. Lance and Justin were on the opposite side of me, while Joey was next to me. I sat at the end of the bench and tried not to look at anyone. JC was giggling on the opposite side of the bench with his "girlfriend." I didn't want to be here. Everyone was having a good time and talking up a storm. I sat in silence munching on a watermelon. "This was a good idea for a picnic," Joey said. "Yeppers," Jay nodded. "Yup," Chris also commented, "The sun's out and it's a perfect day." "Yeah...Perfect.." I softly said. "I can't wait to start shooting the new video," Justin spoke up. "Me too," Lance added, "Once we get that over, we can go back to the tour." "I'm all for it," JC said happily. I drowned out the conversations and focused on the food on my plate. I would occasionally nod my head and agree to whatever they were talking about. I was there, but nothing else was. My heart was just broken, and everybody made fun of me. I really didn't want to be there. It seemed like forever just sitting there. I wasn't hungry so I slowly munched on the fruit and let time slowly pass by. I looked up and saw the cheerful faces around me and I just couldn't take it anymore. I looked at my watch and thought of an excuse. "Hey you guys," I finally spoke up. Everyone quieted down and looked at me. "What's up?" Justin asked. "Well..." I started, "The director wanted me to come back to the studio and plan out how the shots are going to be made." Lance looked at me with the `What the hell are you talking about?' look. "Oh?" Chris sounded surprised, "We didn't know that you had to keep working." "It's cool," I replied back, "I'm supposed to meet him up in about 45 minutes. So I guess I'll see you all later." "You sure?" Joey questioned, "I can call the studio and say that you're busy or something." "N...no...It's okay," I stuttered, "I still have a few days here anyways," I stood up, "Well gotta go," I waved and walked away from the table along the trail. Everyone looked at me oddly as I disappeared from sight over a hill. "He's not much of a partier," Nathan commented, "He didn't even do much." Justin and Lance looked at what was on my plate. They saw the partially eaten fruit and instantly knew what was wrong. "You know," Justin spoke up, "I think we hurt Mano's feelings." Everyone stopped and stared at Justin. "What do you mean?" JC spoke up. "He was willing to do anything for you and we all laughed at him for trying," he softly trailed off. "But it was a joke," Nathan said, "Mano has no sense of humor." "No sense of humor," Lance blurted out, "He has a great sense of humor. No, his feelings were hurt and he didn't want to be around us." "I agree," Justin replied, "Since it was your idea," pointing at JC, "You should go and apologize to him." "Me? Why me? You guys played along with me as well," he angrily defended himself. "I played along, but I asked if it was a good idea," Justin barked back, "You insisted to do it anyways." "Hey, is it my fault that Mano can't a joke?" "You're going a little too far there JC," Chris replied. "He can take a joke," Joey added, "But not the one you played on him." "Guess it's everyone against me then, eh?" he growled. "Looks that way," Lance replied. There was a moment of silence as everyone was looking at everyone else to find figure out what to do next. JC sighed, "Fine....I'll go find him and apologize." "Really?" Justin said, "You'll do it?" JC nodded, "Yeah...I guess I went a little too far." JC slowly got off the bench and hopped on his horse. He galloped down the trail in order to patch things up with me. I didn't bother to ride the horse back. I slowly walked along the rough trail and ignored everything around me. To think that I gave my heart to the guy only to be played upon and thrown around like a ragged doll. My whole body was numb from the whole experience. I couldn't feel the sun, the wind, nor anything else. I was neither happy nor sad. I couldn't even cry if I wanted to. I walked for what it seemed to be for hours. I finally came upon a wooden bridge which spanned a trickling stream. I slowly walked onto the bridge and about halfway across I could hear the faint galloping of a horse. I stopped walking though I didn't know why. Soon the galloping slowed down to a trot and then to a stop. I heard someone get off the horse and walk a little. "Mano?" JC hesitantly said. I slowly turned around and looked blankly at his face. "Mano...I..." JC started. "Before you say anything, let me say something," I softly said. JC understood and nodded his head. "From the moment I met you I knew there was something more," I started, "When I hung out with you, I finally found something which had been missing in my life for a long time." I looked at the ground and collected my thoughts, "I know that I have nothing to give and you know that as well," I looked up at him, "I can't compete and I know that I can't win." JC stood there blankly as I fought back the tears, "I need to know this...I need to know if it's worth fighting. I'm tired of fighting...I don't want to fight a battle which I can't win." I took a deep breath, "JC...Do you love me?" I said slowly. JC stared at me for the answer and I stared at him for his reply. The wind gently blew around us and the dust swirled behind him. The trickling of the stream and the rustling of the leaves were the only things that kept the place from total silence. Then JC looked at me one more time, then dropped his head down and looked at the ground. I knew what the answer was, "Okay..I understand," I said, "It was fun being with you guys. I'll see you later." I slowly turned around and continued walking down the path. JC reached out and tried to say something, but nothing came out of his mouth. He looked at me one more time and turned around and walked the horse the other way.......