Date: Thu, 07 Dec 2000 04:25:34 -0500 From: Derik Blake Subject: *Nsync with my Premonitions--chapter 16 October 26, 2000 Derikab@hotmail.com *Nsync with my Premonitions-Chapter 16 OK, you know the usual. Don't know, don't care. This is fiction, i.e. not real. If you have problems seeing any one of the boys gay, leave. If you have a problem seeing one of 'the' boys kiss another boy, leave. I have gotten many more response from the last few chapters of this story. I appreciate every one of you writing me and letting me know what you think of it. Please keep me informed of how you like the story. It really helps an author. I am glad that some people like it enough to let me know. Please send my feedback, I love to hear from people. I'll appreciate it. Don't forget about the Fan Fic Awards 2000. The voting starts on December 8 so go and vote for me if you like the story. I'll even take that over feedback. LOL!! Again, I don't know who nominated me, but I want to thank that person or persons. 'Premonitions' is a project that I thought would never happen. I am glad that it did, and I am glad that some of you out there think that is it worth a nomination at the FFA2000. If you want to go to the site and look around, the address is: http://www.envy.nu/ffawards2000. Anyway, as usual, my site is up and running, and the next chapter is usually posted there a couple days in advanced of Nifty. If you write me, I will be more than happy to add you to the list and notify you of any updates. If not, check out the site anyway. While you are there, don't forget to sign the guest book. The link is http://Derikab.cjb.net. Now all that is out of the way, I hope you enjoy this chapter. Chapter Sixteen-Truth Be Told I slowly began to open my eyes and saw the ceiling of a room. I had been asleep, but I didn't know where I was. I pulled the covers back and sat up. As I did, I noticed the guys. I saw that JC was sitting and the other four were surrounding him. I looked at their faces and saw that they were crying. I looked back at JC and saw his shoulders trembling with every sob. I pulled my legs over the side of the bed and hopped onto the floor. "What's wrong, Josh?" I asked, looking at him and the guys. I didn't get an answer so I knelt down in front of him and called his name. "Why are you crying?" "Because you just left them," a voice said. I stood up and looked around the room, but there wasn't anyone there. "Who said that?" I asked with a confused look. The doorway of the room started glowing a brilliant white light. So bright, I had to cover my eyes. When the light became normal again, I pulled my hand away and couldn't believe who was standing there in front of me. "Daddy?" I asked, fear and excitement running through my voice at the same time. "Hello, Montgomery," he said, extending his arms for a hug. I quickly ran to him and he embraced me. I couldn't believe I was seeing my father again. It had been such a long time. We stood there in a hug for what seemed like hours, but ended up being only a couple of minutes. I continued to hug him until he pulled away. "You've just left them. That's why they're crying." "What do you mean I've left them? I'm standing right here. I can see them." "But they can't see you. Montgomery, your spirit and soul are here, but the life you once had is no longer." "What are you talking about, daddy?" I looked at him with more fear in my eyes. "You just died. Look over to the bed," he said, pointing. I turned my head and saw myself still lying in the bed. I looked at the monitor beside me and saw that there was no movement. Tears quickly began to flood my eyes out of fear. "Why?" I asked, my voice shaky. "How can it be my time already? We just found each other. Why now?" "Because you haven't found him, yet," my father said. "What do you mean?" I asked, turning back to face him. "You will find that out in due time. It's not your time yet. Things will work out and you will be back soon, but there is a test that is needed to be given." I looked at him with great confusion. "You are that test, Monty." Even more confused, I asked what he meant. "This is a test to bring your souls together." "But they are. Josh and I found each other. Our souls are together," I said as a tear escaped its way down my cheek. "The third soul is being tested. He knows what he has to do, he just needs to find the courage." "Who is he?" I asked, looking at the guys. "That will be reveled in a very short time. The three of you need to come together as one. Once they do, your every happiness for you three and the ones you love will come true." Looking at my father, I said, "I still don't understand, daddy. Why did I have to die to bring the three of us together?" "Because you and Joshua need him. You may not think you do, but your souls are in pain because you three are so close, yet not together." Walking closer to my father, I looked back at the guys and saw Josh stand. Remembering what he did after my first accident, my mind allowed my father's suicide to flood my memories. Quietly, I asked, "Why did you do it, daddy?" I turned my head and saw his expression. He looked as if he was expecting it, but really didn't want to answer. "Unfortunately, I thought that was my only way out. I wasn't thinking clearly when it happened." He paused and dropped his head a little then turned to walk out the door. I followed him and he stopped on the other side of the doorframe. I turned to look at mom, Lance and the others. "I know I hurt you three. I didn't mean for anyone to see me when it happened." Placing a hand on my shoulder, he continued. "I'm sorry that you saw it. That wasn't my intention." "It's ok, dad. I'm sorry I asked," I told him as I wrapped my arm around his back and hugged him close, again. "You three have been so strong. You made me proud when you stayed strong for you mother. I knew I could depend on you. I check in on you three everyday." "So you're our guardian angel?" I asked, smiling now. "Yes, I am. I look after you. I do my best to protect you." "What do you think about Mike?" I asked, not really knowing what to expect. "How do you think mom met him?" he asked, smiling at me. "You sent him to mom?" "Yes. I've known Mike since high school. We were never really friends, but I knew he was a good man. I knew he would be right for you mother." "He does seem to make her happy," I said, noticing the smile on my father's face. I was about to ask him a question, when I heard Justin call JC's name. I turned back to the room and saw Josh standing next to my bed. I walked back in the room and over to the bed. I looked at JC and saw that he was holding my hand. He momentarily let my hand go and reached in his back pocket and pulled out the doll that Madam Zuvik had given to him. He gently placed it on my chest and went to hold my hand again. His other hand came up to rest on the doll placed over my heart. Focusing on Josh, I hadn't seen three of the other guys leave the room. When I looked around for the last member of the group, I found him on the other side of my bed. He reached and grabbed my other hand. He looked down at me and then over to JC. They were both crying, silently. He reached up with his other hand and gently placed it on top of JC's. When he did this, the room started to get bright again. I quickly turned around and saw my father slowly fade away. "Daddy?" I said, my voice full of sadness. "It's ok, Monty. Everything will be fine. The circle has now been complete." "But daddy, I don't want to leave you. Please don't leave me," I said as my eyes quickly began to fill with tears. "I'll never leave you. I'll always be in your heart. I'll always be watching over all of you. You just have to believe, and I will be there when you need me." My tears were making trails down my cheek when the light in the room came back to normal. "I love you, daddy." After a moments pause, I heard my father's voice for the last time. "I love you, too, Montgomery." That was the last thing I heard before the room became dark. I slowly started hearing the sounds around me. I couldn't open my eyes. I couldn't even speak. I tried my best but I couldn't get my body to move. I just laid there and listen to the noises surrounding me. "C'mon, Josh. Let's go," a voice said letting go of my hand. "I can't," he responded, sniffling. "I know this isn't easy, but we really should go. C'mon, Josh, please?" JC let my hand go and leaned down and gently kissed me on my lips. "Je t'adore, Mio amore," I heard him say then felt a tear drop land on my cheek. "Goodbye, my love." I heard the sounds of his clothes rustling as he stood back up. He turned to leave with his companion. 'I need to let him know I'm ok,' I thought. 'Please, God, let him know I'm ok.' My prayers were answered by the first beep of the heart monitor. "What was that?" he asked, turning around. "It's hope, Josh. That's all." Pausing, he continued. "C'mon, Josh. Let's go." I heard him turn around again and start to leave when the monitor gave another beep. "I know I heard something," he said to his companion with hope filling his voice. He walked back to my bed and stood there. I did my best to open my eyes. All my will power went into one final try. When my lids parted, I saw Josh staring at the monitor. His eyes locked on the screen. His face was wet with his tears. His chin had become a gathering place and he had a few drops threatening to fall. He heard the beep again and called for the other to come and see. Josh looked down at me and saw my eyes were slightly opened. "Monty?" he asked with a hopeful tone. I still couldn't speak, so I blinked a slow blink to let him know that I heard him. I saw him close his eyes and cry. Only this time out of joy. The monitor started to display my pulse getting stronger. With every beep, JC just smiled bigger and bigger. Watching JC, I heard the other person run to the door and call for the others to come. Within ten seconds, everyone was in my room not believing that I was still alive, much less awake. "Monty?" I heard my mother call. The group parted and let her through. She came up to my side and grabbed my hand. "I thought I lost you," she said, crying. I tried to talk again, but couldn't, so I blinked. She bent down and draped herself over my chest, letting her head come to rest next to my cheek. She was crying harder, knowing I was still with her. After a few moments, she lifted herself up and kissed me on the cheek before standing again. As she was standing, I glanced my eyes to the other side of the bed and saw Lance, my brother, standing with tears also running down his cheeks. I willed myself to give a small smile and Lance saw it. He burst out with a silent cry and came down to put his head on my chest. I eyes slowly let my tears build up and then spill over the sides of my lids. I was happy that I was alive. I was happy that I was loved this much. I slowly felt my muscles respond to my thoughts. I moved my fingers and did my best to move my arms. The best I could do, was move my hands up and down. I tried to talk, but my voice still wasn't functioning, but my mouth muscles were. As Lance stood back up, he looked at me and I mouthed the words, 'I love you'. He smiled and said, "I love you, too." He let out a small burst of a laugh and wiped his eyes. I smiled at him and the others around me, and then I looked back at Josh. 'I love you,' I mouthed to Josh. He just squeezed my hand and smiled. After a minute of glancing at everyone, a doctor came to the room and stepped past everyone to come and examine me. When his eyes came in contact with mine, he was in complete shock. He knew, by all scientific laws, I should be dead. But I wasn't and he couldn't figure out why. He grabbed my wrist and looked at his watch. He wanted to make sure the monitor wasn't going haywire, I guessed. After his sixty seconds were up, he looked back down at me, still in disbelief, and gave me a half smile. He told the group that he would be back in a few minutes and quickly left the room. The next few minutes were the longest minutes of my life. Everyone in the room was staring at me in silence and I couldn't say anything to break the tension. They were all just smiling and wiping their eyes of their still flowing tears. Mom and JC stood on my left, while Lance and Mike stood on my right. Behind them stood Tony and Mitchell. At the foot of the bed stood Chris, Joey, Pat and Steve and behind mom and JC stood Lance and Justin. When the tension was finally broken, the doctor had returned with two other doctors to look me over. After the second and third examination was over, the three doctors were completely dumbfounded. "It's got to be a miracle," one doctor said. The other two looked at him and nodded, still in shock themselves. Out of my mouth came a faint voice when I started talking. "It was." The entire room looked at me like I was a child taking my first steps. Since I had found my voice, I was gonna start using it. "Why are you all looking at me like that?" I asked in a barely audible whisper. No one answered. They just kept staring. One doctor came over and looked down at me. "Son, we can't explain what just happened to you. You..." "I know," I said, cutting him off. "I'm just real tired, now." "We'll leave and let you get some rest then." Turning back to the group, he told them, "Two of you can stay, but the rest have to leave. Whichever two it is, you cannot keep him awake. He needs more rest. You have three minutes to decide before we have to ask you to leave the room." Once the doctor gave his instructions, he walked back to his colleagues and waited for the outcome. "Josh, you wanna stay with me?" mom asked. JC looked down at me and smiled, then looked back at her. "No. I think Lance should stay. After all, he is his brother." I glanced my eyes his way and saw Lance give a warm, gentle smile before telling JC thanks. He looked down at me again and moved in close to kiss me on the cheek. "Thank you," he said to my ear. Too tired to ask him what for, I made a mental note to ask later. When he stood, he started his father bit to the rest of the group. "C'mon now guys. You heard the doctor. We need to leave." Looking over at Mike, he said, "Yes, even you too, papa. C'mon." He smiled big. Not caring what anyone thought at this moment. I could see the twinkle in his eyes again. He showed me that he was truly happy again for the first time in a long while. I was just glad that I was the one that made him this happy. Weather it be from the fact that I was alive or the fact that I was awake or possibly the combination of both. I didn't care. I was just content knowing I was the reason for his happiness. A while later, I woke from my nap to find my mother sitting to my left, also asleep in her chair. I turned my head to the right and found Lance sitting on the window ledge. He, too, was asleep. I moved my body a little to see if I had control again, which I did. I reached over and got the control for the bed and hit the button to lift the head up so I could be sitting instead of lying down. About halfway between sitting and lying, my mother woke up and saw what I was doing. "Monty!!" she screamed. I froze. I took my finger off the button and stared at her as if I just broke one of her favorite pieces of china. "What? What did I do?" "You're not supposed to move. Stay here. I need to get the doctor." "Why?" I asked. "Because you hurt your back in the accident." "I did?" "According to the doctors, you did. You don't feel anything?" "No. Just sore from lying down." "Well, don't move anymore. Let me get the doctors." As she left, I was still at a forty-five degree angle. I felt if I didn't move, I was going to slide off the end of the bed. I held on the side of the bed for support. At this time, Lance was awake and was watching me, smiling. I looked over to him and asked what was so funny. "You are. You look like your holding on for dear life." "It seems I am. Mom won't let me move so I feel like I'm about to slide off the end. Look at my feet. They are already hanging off," I said, pointing. Lance jumped off the ledge and came to the end of the bed. Leaning up against my feet, he told me to relax. "I'll keep you on the bed." "Thanks," I said as I let go of the bar. Lance just continued to stare at me while we waited for the doctor and mom to return. "Why are you staring, Lance?" "I'm just glad to see you back," he told me, lowering his head a little. "I'm just glad I am back. I didn't mind seeing dad, but I am really glad that I was able to come back." Lance's eyes got big and he lost his smile. "You saw dad?" "Yeah." "What happened? What did he say?" As I was about to answer, mom and the doctor walked in the room. "I'll tell you later," I said so only he could hear me. "What are you doing, young man?" the doctor asked, putting his hands on his hips and peering over his glasses on the end of his nose. "I'm sitting up?" I asked, stating the obvious. "You need to be lying down." "Why?" "Because of your spinal injury." "What spinal injury? I don't feel any pain anywhere. My body is just aching because I can't sit up," I said, frustrated. "You don't feel any pain in your back?" "No," I said, looking between the doctor, Mom and Lance. Looking back at the doctor, I asked, "Should I?" "You are one confusing patient, Mr. Blake. First off, you were legally dead for six and a half minutes, then without a warning, you suddenly came back to life. Now you say there is no pain in your back at all. Something is very strange with your case." "Can I please sit up now? I feel like I am about to push my brother into the wall." "No. Lay back down. I'm going to have someone come and get you so we can get some x-rays." "But, I'm tired of..." I started to whine, but was cut off by the doctor. "Not until after the x-rays," he said. "Like I said, you are one confusing patient. Don't make it one annoying, confusing patient," he said with a smile. I just glared at him then at mom, who was trying to hold in a laugh. I looked at Lance and he was also giggling. I pushed him a little with my foot and he fell back a step or two, giggling, which made me start my slide down my slope. I quickly caught the bar and held myself in place until the doctor lowered my bed. When it was completely flat again, the doctor helped me move back up the bed so that my head was again on my pillow. After he left, I asked if JC was around. Lance said that he would go and get him then quickly left the room. A minute later, JC walked in, smiling. "Hey, babe. Sleep well?" "Ok, I guess," was my reply. JC came over and stood next to my mom and wrapped his arm around her while we all talked for a minute. "Someone will be here in a few minutes to take Monty for some x-rays. I'm gonna leave you two alone until then," mom told JC. JC nodded and mom turned to leave the room. "Why are you going to have x-rays taken?" JC asked, quizzically. "Well, I was trying to sit up and mom yelled at me to stop then went to get the doctor. He told me that I could hurt my back even more and I told him that it didn't hurt, so he wants x-rays." "But when you were brought here, you had a spinal injury. How could your back not hurt you? The doctors were very surprised that you didn't break your back, or neck for that matter." "What happened, JC?" "You don't remember?" Thinking for a minute, I answered, "Not really." He began to tell me of the events. I sat there listening to him talk and replayed the premonition I had after I met him and the guys. Everything he said, happened in my premonition, except the part of me getting hurt. When he was done explaining, I asked about Justin and Lance. "They're fine. They are still alive because of you. I am too," he said, grabbing my hand. "Where's Justin?" I asked. "Get him in here," I half demanded. JC just looked at me for a brief moment, and then went to the door. He called Justin's name and came back to my bed. When Justin entered, I called him over to JC's side. "Yeah, Monty? What's up?" he asked, sinking his hands in his pockets. "While I was 'out to lunch', how did JC do?" JC looked at me as thought he was hurt. I didn't ask him because I knew he would tell me anything to keep me calm. I looked to Justin for the real answer. "If you as much as look at JC so you can talk to him with your eyes, so help me I will jump out of this bed and tackle you," I said with a smile, but a stern voice. Justin caught my joke and started laughing. "He actually surprised us all. He was a lot stronger than most of us were." I looked at JC and moved my hand up to his cheek. "Really?" I asked. JC grabbed my hand and held it there. "I even have proof." "How?" I asked. "I got your camera and made sort of a diary. So when you woke up, you could see how strong I was. I knew you wouldn't believe me," he said with a smile. I pulled my hand away and punched him in the stomach, lightly. He pulled away, clutching his midsection, faking a defeat. "What was that for?" he asked, half pouting. "I believe you, but I just wanted to know the truth. I didn't want you to just tell me something to try and keep me calm." "Well, when we get you home, you can watch the tapes. That'll be your proof." Justin looked at me and grabbed my hand. "Thank God you're awake, Monty." "Thanks Justin," I said, giving a warm smile. "No, thank you. Now JC can put down that stupid camera." "Hey!!!" JC said. "Sorry, Josh, but we were all getting tired of the camera." "You leave my baby alone," I told Justin as I raised my arm to hold JC behind it. "I'm glad that he did it." "See," JC said, sticking his tongue out at Justin. "Someone appreciates it." Justin just laughed as JC came to kiss me. "OK, well that's my queue to leave. See ya!!!" Justin said in a surprised, but knowing tone. I kissed JC for a little longer until we heard someone clear their throat. JC pulled apart from my lips, but didn't move his face away. "Now, who do you think that could be?" he asked, trying not to laugh. "I don't know, and really don't care, but if my calculations are correct, it's probably one of the staff." "Oh, shit," JC said, smiling. "What?" I asked. "They caught us kissing," he stated. "So? You're out of the closet now... Aren't you? Or did I dream that?" "Yeah you're right. I am out of the closet." With that last statement, he leaned in for another quick kiss and then rose to a standing position. He turned and moved to the side so I could see an orderly standing in the room looking at us. "Sorry," JC and I said together. "No worries. Just caught me off guard," the young woman answered. She walked over to me and told me. "You are one lucky man. My heart broke when I saw the Oprah show. Then I saw how much he loved you. I actually started to cry." She looked over to JC, then back at me and gave me a big smile and repeated, "You are one lucky man." I just smiled and kept repeating to myself, 'I know. I know'. As she was pulling the bed away from the wall and disconnecting all the machines, we started to leave. JC stopped her and kissed her on the cheek. Even I could see her blush. "Take care of my baby." "I will. You won't have to worry about a thing," she said, smiling, then wheeling me out of the room. After the x-rays were taken, the young lady, named Angela, wheeled me back to my room, only to find the entire band, plus my four friends and my family waiting for me. "How'd it go?" JC asked her. "He was a real trouper. I told you that you wouldn't have anything to worry about." JC smiled and came to my bedside. Angela quickly hooked the bed and myself back up to the machines and told me to stay down. "You don't want the doctor yelling at you. He can get real mean if he needs to," she said with a wink. "How much longer before he comes back?" mom asked. "It shouldn't be too long. I'd say about an hour at the most." "Thanks," my mom told her and she quickly left the room with a smile. After getting out the door, she stopped and turned back around. "Would it be ok if I can get you guys to sign an autograph for me before ya'll leave?" Justin said that they would make it a point to see her before the day was up. She just smiled again and left the room. "Well, honey," my mom started. "Since we have another hour, would you mind if Mike and I get a bit to eat?" "No. Go ahead. I'll still be here when you get back." "You better be," Mike said with a small laugh. "Lance, you wanna come with your mom and I?" "Yeah, sounds good. I'm about to starve." "So am I!" I said. "Bring me back something, please," I pleaded with them. "Absolutely not," my mother said. "You are already getting all the nutrition you need through that tube. You don't need anything else." "But mom..." "No. Maybe tomorrow. After we know what the doctor says. Just not tonight." She turned to leave and called Lance after her. Before Mike left the room, he turned back and whispered, "French fries be ok?" I just smiled and gave him the A-OK sign with my fingers. JC just looked down and smiled. "Anyone else wanna join us?" Mike asked. No one answered so Mike said that they would be back soon, and then quickly disappeared down the hall. "So, you feeling any better?" Pat asked. "Well, I never felt bad. I'm just sore from laying down flat. No one will let me sit up." "Just wait until the doctor tells us the news. Things will probably be good anyway," JC said. "I hope so," I said, looking up into his blue eyes. He leaned down to kiss me and I could hear the other guys give their sighs. "OK, that's it." I said in a playful manner. "If I ever hear of any of you sighing again when JC and I kiss, I will personally pounce on you when I get out of here. If it's you Justin, I will tickle you until you wish you didn't even know what a sigh is or ever was. Got it?" I looked up at JC only because I couldn't move my head to look around the room and saw him smile. No one answered but JC relayed the news that they understood. They were nodding their heads in response. "Good!" I said. "Now, time for my kiss, Mr. Man." As JC leaned back down to kiss me, I was keeping an ear open for the first sigh, but it never came and soon JC's lips connected with my own. It was a very soft, reassuring kiss that everything will be fine as soon as I was released. Life was finally telling me that we could start to live our life together in peace. Just the three of us. As our kiss ended, I opened my eyes and saw the JC was just stand there still hovering over me, smiling. "I have a big favor to ask of you." "Anything," he said. "I need to go to the bathroom soo bad, but it feels as if something is....covering me, if you know what I mean." He just looked at me with a confused look until I glanced my eyes to my lower body then he got that look as if a light bulb just went off over his head. "You want me to take a look?" he asked. "Would you, please?" JC found the side of the blanket hanging over the bed and lifted it and put his head under. "Ok, that's where I draw the line," Justin said, standing. "Shut up, Justin," JC said, laughing. "Can't you wait until we at least get out of the hospital?" he asked. "It's not what you think, Justin. Just shut up and sit down," JC said, still laughing. He pulled the covers back to where they were and came up to me. "Go for it," was all he said. And I did. The relief was completely apparent to JC who saw my smile and my eyes half shut. He just looked down with a smile. I saw him look over at the guys and they must have been confused, because we walked over to the end of the bed. Without saying a word, he bent down to look at something and then promptly stood back up. I saw him point to something and then I heard Justin say, "Ohhh. Ok," before he started laughing. After about forty five minutes, mom, Mike and Lance returned. Mike had his carry home plate and they all took a seat. JC had worked out a plan for the other guys to distract mom while Mike passed him some food for me to eat. It worked like a charm, that is until mom asked me a question while I had a mouth full of fries. I didn't answer her because she would know I was eating something, so I stayed quiet. I was hoping she would think that I was back asleep, but that was a long shot. She called my name again and I couldn't chew fast enough to swallow. Finally she called my name again, and this time I had to answer. "Hmm?" I answered. JC just looked at me and tried his best not to laugh. "What do you think about it?" she asked. I knew I was caught and so did Josh. He just looked at me with his bright eyes, smiled and shrugged his shoulders. "Aout wha?" I asked through my food. There was a pause between my question and the next statement made. "So that's why you weren't so hungry, huh, Mike?" she asked. A smile obvious in her voice. "He wanted food. What was I supposed to do?" he asked, half laughing. "You are incorrigible," she told him. "I can't help that. How do you think I got you?" The rest of the room just looked at mom and waited for an answer. Everyone was afraid to move. "I guess your right," she said to him. The other guys started to laugh when the doctor walked in. "What'd I miss?" he asked, stopping in the doorway. JC looked down at me with some big ass eyes like we've just been caught doing the "do". I quickly swallowed and JC turned to face the doctor and placed his hand behind his back to conceal the food. "Oh, nothing too great," mom said. "So how'd things turn out?" Walking over to me, the doctor looked at me and started talking. "After the x-rays were taken, I looked at them then had the chief of staff look them over. I think just about every doctor in the building looked them over and we can't understand it?" "Understand what?" I asked. "There is no more spinal injury. It's like....it healed itself," he said, still not believing it. "What does that mean?" Chris asked. "Well, it should mean that he could do everything like before the accident. He can run, jump, walk. Do whatever. But I just don't see how it's possible." "I already told you. It was a miracle." "It sure seems that way. Your whole life seems like a miracle." I smiled, knowing that I finally found out who the third soul is, and reached for JC's hand and said, "It is, doc. It truly is." He smiled at me then put a puzzled look on his face. "Do I smell French fries?" "Yeah," JC said as he took a bit out of what was behind his back. The room just laughed, but the doctor still looked even more confused. "Can I please sit up now?" I asked out of desperation. "Well, let's see if the x-rays were right. Ready?" he asked me. "You'll never know how much, doc." He grabbed the remote and pushed the button to raise the head of the bed. He carefully studied my face for any sign of pain, but when he didn't receive any, he just stopped when I asked him to. "Now, do you think it would be ok for me to walk?" "Well, I don't see why not," he said. "Great. I need to go to the bathroom." The whole room started laughing. JC even gave a small chuckle. I reached under the blanket and grabbed the condom-thingy and pulled it off. "Well, you can use the catheter....which it sounds like you just pulled off." "Nope. I wanna do this the right way," I said looking up at the doc and smiled. As I was hoping off the bed, JC and the doc both helped to steady me. After I had my balance, I started moving towards the bathroom. After a moment I felt a cool breeze and reached back quickly to close my gown. I heard the room laugh, but I paid no attention and made it to my destination without any incident. After I did what I had to do, I came back and JC helped me back on the bed. "So, doc, when can I leave?" I asked. "Well, we would like to keep you hear for a couple more days, but since we can't seem to find anything wrong," he paused to scratch his head, then finished, "you can leave now, if you wanted." "Great," I exclaimed. "Uhh, we'll stay for those two more days," my mom interjected. "Mom!" "Honey, just to be sure." "Fine," I said in a pouty voice and crossed my arms across my chest. "Well, then, we will be running a few more tests over the next two days, just to make sure that everything is fine." "Ok," I said, not looking up. Directing his voice to mom, he added, "If you need anything, just call a nurse and she'll contact me." "Thanks, doctor," my mom answered. After the doctor left, I looked around the room and saw that everyone was just staring again. "May I see JC and Lance alone please?" I asked the crowd. I was answered with a lot of 'Sure's and 'Yeah's, then Mr. Bass walked up to my bedside and waited. "I'm sorry, Lance, I meant my brother." "Oh, ok. Sorry." "Don't be. I want to talk to you later, anyway." "Ok. I'll be outside," he said, then flashed a smile and walked out the door. Lance joined JC by my bed and asked what I needed. "I just wanted to tell you what happened." "When?" JC asked. "When he died," Lance informed. JC's face fell and I told him that everything was fine; I just wanted to share what happened. Lance pulled up a chair and I motioned for JC to sit on the bed with me. Once they were comfortable, I started to tell them about how I was with dad for a few minutes. As I was telling the story, I could see Lance start to form tears, and noticed that JC was also. I told Lance how dad has been watching over us and how he was the reason for Mike. He just looked at me and gave a smile. I looked at JC and told him that dad had told me that everything would be fine. It was a test. JC looked at me very confused and asked, "Test? What test?" "To find the third soul." "How was you dying going to test the third soul. We don't even know who he is?" "I do." JC face went from confusion to amazement. He dropped his jaw and bugged his eyes. After a moment or two of silence, he finally asked, "How do you know who he is?" "He's the reason I'm alive." JC's face, once again, gave a confused look. "I must not be understanding things. I feel like I've just gone around in a circle. How do you know who he is and how is he responsible for you being alive, now? Who is he?" "While I was in the hall with dad, I heard Justin call your name and I walked back in and saw you put the doll on my chest." His eyes were getting big again. He knew I was telling the truth. "After you grabbed my hand, you placed your other hand on the doll." "Ok. But how is that...." "The circle was complete," I told him. After a minute to contemplate what I told him, he asked, "How?" "Who was the only other person here? Who put his hand on yours on top of the doll?" JC now started forming tears in his eyes. He finally realized who I was talking about. With a very shaky voice, he asked, "James?" I just nodded my head and smiled. "He grabbed my hand and placed his other one on top of yours. You had my hand and the circle became complete. Long enough for me to come back. Lance is the reason I'm alive. He completes....us." JC started crying softly now and I reached over and grabbed him in a hug. He fell into my arms and cried. My brother was still a little confused, but I think he got the gist of what was happening. He quietly got up and left the room. A few minutes later, I saw the other Lance stand at the door and he noticed JC still in my arms crying. "Is everything ok?" he asked, his low voice breaking the silence that had fallen. "Yeah, everything's fine," I answered. "Ok. Just wanted to check. I'm going out to get some breakfast with Chris and Joey. I'll see you later." "Lance?" JC asked, suddenly sitting up. "Yeah, JC?" "Would you please come in and close the door?" "Sure," he answered, kind of nervously. After closing the door, Lance came over and took the same seat that my brother occupied just a few moments ago. After he got settled, he asked, "What's up?" "I have a question for you Lance," I said. JC looked at me again with a puzzled expression. "Ok." "Who is this guy that you've fallen in love with?" JC and I waited for his answer, but Lance was very uncomfortable with the question. He started to fidget with the arm of the chair and gave the response, "Just some guy. Why?" "Who is this guy?" JC asked. "I just told you, just some guy." Without thinking, I said, "I would like to think that I'm a little more than 'just some guy'." JC and Lance both looked at me and Lance started to get worried. JC's expression was that of surprise. "How'd you know?" Lance said, finally breaking the tension in a low whisper. "I didn't know until earlier," I told him with a warm smile. "When you grabbed my hand, I knew." Looking over to JC and then back, I finished. "Lance, you're the reason I'm alive today." JC and I both watched Lance's expression, but he didn't have one. He sat there looking at the bed with a blank look on his face. A few moments later, a lone tear rolled out of the corner of his left eye. The tear eventually made it's way down to his chin before falling. "Lance?" Josh asked, softly. Lance didn't give any knowledge that he heard him. JC looked over to me and then we both looked at Lance as he was getting up. "Are you ok, Lance?" JC asked again, in the same tone. Once again, there was no response. Lance walked over to the door and JC started after him. "Josh," I called, getting him to turn around. "Give him time, baby. Let him go." Looking back as Lance turn out of the room, JC let his head fall to his chest. He walked over and sat next to me as I took him in a hug. He let his tears flow again. "Why are you crying, Josh?" I asked in a worried tone. "Because..." After a long pause, he finished his sentence. "I never stopped...loving him." As the last words left his lips, he let out a deep sob and let his face hide in the crook of my neck. I just sat there holding him, for I didn't know what to say. I, too, began to form tears as JC cried on my shoulder. I stroked his back to try and calm him and noticed that Justin was standing at the door. I raised my hand for him not to enter and he got the message. He pointed back over to the guys to let me know that he was there if I needed him. I gave him a small smile, and he walked away. After Josh started to calm, he sat up and looked at me. I saw where the tears had stained his face and brought my hand up to wipe them away. "I'm sorry, Monty." "What for?" I asked, concern in my eyes. "You've been through a lot, mentally and physically over the last month or so. You don't need me to take care of." "Josh, baby, you are one of the reasons that I'm here, now. Now it's my turn to take care of you. And Lance. You both mean the world to me. After all, if it wasn't for either of you, I wouldn't be here today." JC smiled, fighting back his tears. I put my hand against his cheek and he covered it with this own. "I love you," he told me. I smiled and said, "I love you, too." He gave me a big smile then and I saw the gleam come back to his bright blues. His smile was contagious, and he caused me to put a silly grin on my face. Looking a little more serious, he asked, "Do you have any...feelings...for Lance." After thinking back on the last year, I answered him. "Actually, I started falling in love with him after our trip to Jamaica." JC gave me a look of surprise. "Yeah. It was that long ago. Remember that night you woke up and saw Justin in my arms asleep? When we were on the bus?" He nodded. "Right before that, I had a fight with Lance. He was acting like a real bitch." JC rolled his eyes and gave a small chuckle as I continued. "Anyway, he wasn't talking to me and I asked what his problem was. He told me that I was his problem. Then I said that I wouldn't bother him for the rest of the tour. When I closed the curtain, I looked back and saw him crying. At that point, I wanted to run to him and hug him telling him I was sorry. I wanted to tell him that I loved him, but knew I couldn't. I wasn't going to betray you or what we had together. But that was the minute I started to love him." JC looked at me then asked, "Is that why you wouldn't wake him up?" I nodded and Josh realized why. "Can I ask you something without you getting mad?" he asked. "Sure," I said. "That night you came back for you bags and you slept in his room. Did....anything happen?" "No. It was tempting, but I wasn't going to do anything." JC just looked at me with a contempt look in his eye. Then I remembered something and added, "But I did kiss him the next morning." "Why?" Josh asked without expression. "Because I thought he was you. I woke up in a dark room and his arm was across me and I reached over and kissed him, thinking he was you. When I went to open the curtains, you should've seen my expression when I saw that it wasn't." I gave a small laugh and JC joined me. "I bet Lance wishes he had a camera," JC said. "I wish I did. I'm sure his expression was the same as mine." JC tried to get a mental picture of our faces when we realized who we were with, then started laughing a little more. I looked over at the door, and Justin was standing there, again. "You just can't take a hint and stay out, can you?" I said looking at him. "Sorry," he sheepishly replied. "I'm just kidding, Justin. Come back here," I called. He stepped back to the door and walked over to us. On his way, he asked if we knew what was wrong with Lance. We nodded, but remained silent. "Well, what's wrong with him?" Justin asked, again. "When Lance is ready, he'll tell you," JC stated. Justin was getting frustrated. He shrugged his shoulders and turned to leave. "Justin, don't worry about it. I can tell you it's good. But when he's ready, he'll tell you all," I said, trying to soothe him. "Whatever," he said, then left the room. I looked at Josh and he stared at me. I scooted over and patted the bed next to me and he climbed up and laid down next to me. After a little chatting, we both fell asleep. This time, I was holding Joshua in my arms. To Be Continued . . . .