Date: Thu, 24 May 2001 15:02:40 -0700 (PDT) From: Robin Subject: Chatper 5, Open Your Heart, Boy-bands, Celebrity, Gay Disclaimer: I do not know *N Sync or their sexual preferences. If it is illegal for you to read fictional stories about male/male relationships where you live, please leave. Same thing goes if you just don't like the idea of two beautiful men in love. Title: Open Your Heart Author: Robin (nsajscgirl@yahoo.com) Rating: R Pairing: Joey/Lance Notes: Thank you to Mikko for help with the title and thanks to Cele who always helps me out so much. :) Thank you to everyone that's sent feedback! I appreciate it! Chapter 5 Joey was watching Lance. He could have spent his time watching Justin practice, but watching Justin was nothing new. In fact, Joey had watched Justin so often that he could predict when Justin would make certain moves that made his groin tighten. But watching Lance was new. The younger man furrowed his eyebrows in concentration and gingerly grabbed his crotch in one of their patented *N Sync moves. Joey almost laughed out loud. He never noticed how Lance's hand barely grazed his crotch during that move before. He wondered if it embarrassed Lance to grab himself in public. "Hey, Joe!" Joey's attention was caught by Justin who'd thrown himself across the floor and lay at Joey's feet, staring up at him expectantly. Justin's T-shirt was clinging to his chest from sweat, and it was hard for Joey not to stare. "Yeah?" he asked, his eyes returning to watch Lance. "You wanna go out tonight? Chris found this..." "No, I don't think so," Joey interrupted him. He could tell from Justin's hanging jaw that he was surprised. Whether it was because he interrupted him or because he didn't want to go out, Joey didn't know. "No? Why not?" Justin demanded. He levered himself up on an elbow and peered up at Joey. "Because." Joey returned his attention to the center of the room and was surprised to find Lance intently watching the both of them in the mirror. He didn't know whether to smile or to frown, so he did neither and looked back at Justin. "Because why?" "Because I thought Lance and I could just chill out and watch a movie. I don't really want to go out tonight." "Oh." That was all Justin said. Oh. "What's that supposed to mean? Oh?" Joey mimicked and he watched Justin's eyes widen. "Nothing. Jesus. You want to hang out with Lance. That's cool. Why are you so defensive about it?" Joey shook his head. "I'm not being defensive." "Yeah, you are. What's that supposed to mean?" Justin copied his voice. "Are y'all dating or something?" "No!" Joey replied quickly...vehemently. When he looked back up to the middle of the room, Lance was nowhere to be seen. Justin smiled slyly up at him. "I believe ya. So, when did you and Lance start bonding?" Joey was silent for a moment before he replied. "You know, he's a great guy, Justin. You might like him if you gave him a chance." Joey felt this overwhelming urge to prove to everyone that Lance wasn't as cold and unfeeling as everyone thought he was. He wanted to make all of the guys spend time with Lance; he wanted them all to know the Lance he'd gotten to know over the past couple of days. But Justin looked at him as though he'd lost his mind. "I did give him a chance!" Justin exclaimed, one hand pressed to his chest and a blush staining his cheeks as though he was denying accusations of murder. "What are you talking about? Lance chooses to be separate from us. The very first day we were together, Lance decided for himself that he was going to alienate himself from the group. As long as he does his fucking job, no one gives a shit." By the time Justin had finished, his voice had risen and he'd gained the attention of everyone in the room, including Chris and JC. Thankfully, Lance was still missing in action. "Hey, hey. What's going on?" JC, the ever-present parent, asked soothingly. Joey spared him a glance. "We're not fighting. We're just talking. Stay out of this, JC," Joey requested before turning his attention back to Justin. "You're right. Lance did decide that he'd rather separate himself from the group than to become our friends. Did you ever stop to think that there's a reason for that? That there's a reason why he won't let anyone close..." "Joey!" Lance's livid voice stopped him in mid-sentence. Joey turned around to face an obviously angry Lance. The room was completely silent and out of the corner of his eye Joey could see astonishment etched in JC's features. "Let's get back to work, guys. Put this on the back burner and deal with it later, okay?" one of their choreographers said as he motioned for them to return to the center of the room. Joey thought that the glare Lance sent his way was supposed to make him feel ashamed, but in his opinion there wasn't anything for him to be ashamed about. He was just trying to make things better between Lance and the other guys. With a sigh, Joey got into position and he went through the familiar motions to "Tearin' Up My Heart" without giving them much thought. His mind was on Lance and how he could apologize without really meaning it. ***** "Lance? Lance, I know you're in there." Joey groaned in frustration as he knocked on Lance's door. He leaned his forehead against the door and sighed. If Lance was going to ignore him, he'd just talk to the door. "I know you're mad at me for today, but..." "But what, Joey?" Lance's voice asked from somewhere over his left shoulder. Joey jumped at least ten feet in the air. "Jesus Christ!" Lance frowned at him and crossed his arms, waiting. Joey was surprised that Lance's foot didn't start tapping. Joey took a deep breath and placed a hand over his heart. "You scared the hell out of me!" Lance just raised an eyebrow infuriatingly and said nothing. Lance could be really annoying when he wanted to be. "Look, I know you're mad at me..." "Score one for Joey," Lance said, and Joey wondered if that was supposed to be funny. When Lance didn't smile, Joey ignored him and continued. "But I didn't really do anything wrong--" Lance interrupted him by laughing. "You didn't do anything wrong? Joey, I never asked you to become my personal savior. I never asked you to talk to Justin or to JC or Chris for me. What you did today...what you were about to tell them...Joey, that's just like me going to Justin and telling him that you want to fuck the shit out of him." Joey looked at Lance in astonishment for a moment before getting the balls to look around the hall worriedly. He didn't even want to *think* about someone hearing *that* statement. He was relieved to find the hallway empty; even Lonnie was absent. He faced Lance who was watching him with a small smirk. He realized that his reaction had been amazingly predictable. "It's nothing like that. I just wanted to help." Joey wasn't even sure why he had to defend himself and he was beginning to get angry. "What if I thought telling Justin about your little obsession with him would help you?" Lance asked. "You wouldn't. That would *never* help. That could only hurt and you know it," Joey said almost desperately. He wondered if Lance had really thought about telling Justin. That thought scared the shit out of him. "You're right, Joey. I know it...that's why I wouldn't do something like that." Lance started to say something else, but a door opened nearby and he immediately closed his mouth. "Joey!! Man, let's just forget 'bout what went down today and go out," Justin said loudly as he swayed down the hallway. Joey studied Justin closely then looked at his watch. It was only eight-thirty at night and Justin was already drunk. "Paarrttyyyy! Chris heard 'bout this sweet club, man. Come with us. Or would you rather just chhiiillll with Lanceypoo?" Justin cooed. Joey stiffened as soon as Justin mentioned Lance and he shot Lance an apologetic look. Lance ignored him and stepped around Joey to his door. "Lance..." Joey started, but stopped when Lance entered his room without saying a word, the door closing softly in his face. What was it with Lance disappearing whenever one of the other guys entered the picture? Chris stumbled out into the hallway and called out to Joey. "Hey, Joey! You gonna go with us?" Chris was drunk, too, and Joey knew without a doubt that this would be one long night. All he'd wanted to do was watch a damn movie with Lance, but he'd fucked that up with his 'savior' complex and now he was stuck baby-sitting two adults. Joey was torn between knocking on Lance's door and trying to apologize for real and keeping an eye on Tweedledee and Tweedledum. He couldn't let Chris and Justin out alone in the condition they were in...that was just asking for trouble. Joey resisted the urge to bang his head against the wall and instead walked towards the elevator where Justin and Chris were waiting not so patiently. JC was never around when he was needed. ***** The shrill ring of the telephone the next morning sent a shard of pain through Joey's head. "Fuck," he groaned as he rolled over onto his back and slapped the nightstand, hoping to find the phone without opening his eyes. The phone bounced out of its cradle when Joey hit one end of it and landed on the floor. He managed to find the cord and drag the phone up to the bed. "'Lo?" he mumbled into the receiver, his eyes still shut tightly. "Good morning, Mr. Fatone. This is your wake up call." With a click, the phone went dead and Joey groaned. He threw the phone back down to the floor and sprawled across the bed, intent on getting back to sleep. He didn't hear the click of the door as it opened and he didn't hear the soft footsteps crossing the room. "Joey? Joey, wake up." Lance's voice drifted through his foggy mind and Joey thought he was dreaming. Only he didn't know why he'd be dreaming about Lance trying to wake him up. He slowly opened one eye, then the other, grateful to find that Lance's figure blocked out most of the incoming light. He wasn't dreaming. Joey sat up straight in bed, the covers falling to his waist and adrenaline rushing through his body. Lance coming to get him could only mean something bad had happened. "What? What's happened? Is everyone okay?" "Calm down, Joey. Everyone's fine." "Oh, good," Joey said as he fell back down to the bed. "What are you doing then?" Lance peered down at him and Joey didn't like the fact that he was lying in bed naked while Lance hovered above him fully clothed. It put him at a disadvantage. He pulled the covers up to his chin. "Did you enjoy last night?" Lance asked, ignoring Joey's question. "No," Joey replied immediately and scowled. "Would you sit down? You're making me nervous." Lance smiled down at him knowingly. He sat down on the edge of the bed. "I'm making you nervous?" Joey refused to reply and Lance laughed, winking at him. Lance had so many different sides to him that Joey never knew which Lance he'd encounter. He was pretty sure that Lance liked it that way. This Lance was confident and teasing. He'd seen Lance shy and uncertain, angry, and depressed. Joey was certain that Lance had many more sides to uncover and that he might possibly enjoy uncovering them all. "I thought maybe you'd enjoy spending the night watching out for Justin." "Yeah, well that's not exactly my idea of fun." "Oh, really?" That infuriating eyebrow rose again and Joey gave serious thought to shaving it off one night while Lance was asleep. The thought made Joey grin and Lance eye him warily. "What?" "Nothing," Joey shook his head and looked away from Lance. "I spent most of the night trying to make sure Chris didn't throw up on my shoes. He was totally wasted. My dear, sweet Justin was hitting on every single girl he came across, including the fifty-year old grandmother in the lobby on the way to the club." Lance grinned at him. "Fun." "Yeah, right. He brought a chick back with him." "Oh...sorry," Lance said. He seemed sincere. "Yeah, well..." Joey shrugged his shoulders. It didn't really bother him *that* much. Lance stared down at the floor, his slender hands toying with the bed sheets, but he looked up at Joey suddenly when Joey spoke again. "Ya know...all I really wanted to do last night was watch a movie with you." "Yeah?" "Yeah." They shared shy smiles. Joey saw Lance hesitate and he prompted him softly, "What?" Lance avoided looking at him. "I think it may be too late," he whispered. "Too late for what?" He was startled when Lance's eyes met his and there were tears shining there. "Me and the other guys. I appreciate what you were trying to do yesterday, Joe. I know you were just trying to help, but I don't think we'll ever be good friends." A few tears escaped Lance's eyes and Joey wanted to brush them away, but Lance beat him to it. "God, the first day I met y'all...it was like the best and worst day of my life. It was like this double-edged sword. It felt so good to be a part of something...be a part of *N Sync, but at the same time I'd never felt *so* alone." "Jesus, Lance," Joey said, unsure of what else he should say or what he should do. "We're...you and me...we're becoming friends, right? It's a start, Lance. You start with me and you work your way around," Joey said. "Work my way around, huh?" Lance said with a small laugh. He shook his head and laughed again. Joey was glad that he'd made Lance smile, but he didn't know what he had just said that was funny, so he frowned. "Don't laugh at me. I'm not good at this comforting thing," Joey said unhappily causing Lance to grin at him. "You did a pretty good job this time." Lance stood to leave. "I'll let you get ready for breakfast, okay?" He was almost to the door when Joey called out to him. "Hey, Lance? You'll be at breakfast, right?" "Yeah." "Okay. Bye." "Bye, Joey." Before Lance had even closed the door behind him, Joey was up and out of bed, streaking into the bathroom. He quickly took a shower and got ready for breakfast. It was the first time in a long while that Joey was actually looking forward to breakfast and the rest of the day. Copyright 2001 nsajscgirl. All rights reserved. Thanks for reading! Send feedback to: nsajscgirl@yahoo.com