Date: Sat, 31 Dec 2005 19:37:02 +0000
From: Mike Rich <gridlinked@gmail.com>
Subject: Paranoia Chapter 4

Disclaimer:

The following story contains sexual content and deals with homosexual
relationships.
It is not for people under the legal age.
If you are offended by the contents of this story, or it is illegal in your
location to view this type of material, leave now.
This story is fiction and is not intended to imply anything about the true
sexuality of the celebrities mentioned or any personal knowledge about
their private lives.


Chapter 4


A.J. was running as fast as he could through the street so he could get to
the Gard du Nord station. It was getting difficult with the amount of snow
that seemed had come out of nowhere. Never the less he ran. He thought of
the distress he had heard on Andrew's voice and the pain when he had
finally spoken up to him.  He urged forward, He entered the Gard du Nord
and right away he ran to where he knew was the big clock he and Andrew had
talked about.  There on the floor he saw her.  Right about before he called
her name he knew it was her, and when she moved slightly to reveal herself
fully, his only thought was: 'Andrew what the hell happened?'.


Andrew was getting freaked, it was 20 minutes to their part in the show and
he still hadn't heard from either A.J. or Tommy.  Yes, he was getting
freaked.  People were coming to him and asking him to make last minute
alterations to the clothes and all he could think about was Sarah.

'OK Andrew, just focus, you can do this damn it, its not like your mom's
here nagging too.'

"Andrew" he heard Philippe calling behind him "10 minutes."

'Damn it, OK, lets try this one more time Buddha before i completely lose
faith in'ya, i need to be more relaxed, and i need for this show to go
perfectly, can you manage that, can ya?'

"OK, I'll be there in a minute." He made a last minute change in an evening
gown and finally went to sit in his seat with all the other people watching
the event.

He had specifically asked for Irish songs when his clothes where to appear
on the runway, a bit unorthodox he realized, but it was a sort of tribute
to his roots. So he heard it clearly now on a crescendo, the music had
started, on came the low lights and the smoke as the first models started
walking the "walk".  Ten minutes after the first model, his part of the
show was almost over but in the end came Kevin.

Kevin.

Without realizing it he had gotten up. He could see fine from where he was
but he still did it. He saw Kevin starting to walk down the runway, and his
mouth opened slightly.

'Wow'

He was stunning, the suit had fitted perfectly and all eyes were on
him. The cameras didn't miss a beat and kept flashing all they could. And
suddenly he looked at him, their eyes locked and he sensed something coming
from Kevin that he couldn't explain and for the second time in a little
over 24 hours time stood still.  The music died down in his head, and
Kevin's movements seemed impossibly slow, but he didn't care.  On the
distance he could hear a cellphone ringing, his cellphone he knew. But on a
selfish moment he couldn't care less, he was happy.


The people were all rushing out of the building, tomorrow there would be
more.  Andrew breathed a little before making his way through the sea of
people on to his set at the Paranoia booth.  But, before he could even move
more that a couple of feet he heard his cellphone again. This time he
quickly piked it up from his pocket and pressed the talk button.

"Yeah talk to me" he yelled through the noise all the people bumping into
him were making.

"Andrew? Andrew its Brian" He could hear him faintly over the crowd.

"Yeah Brian whats up? Did you find nick?" he asked still not moving.

"No, not yet, but Andrew you better come to Le Meridien quick" He could
sense the urgency in Brian's voice and something in him told him to start
panicking "Its your sister."

"What?" It was all coming back to him. 'Sarah' "What about her is she
there, did A.J. find her?"

"Andrew, he did, but Andrew, she isn't well, i called an ambulance, you
should get here as fast as you can..."

But he stopped listening a little after "ambulance", his instincts had been
right, Sarah was in trouble. He felt himself fall and darkness slowly
taking him. The last thing he heard was his cellphone smashing on the floor
next to his head.


They were both still hugging, they had been for more than an hour. Nick had
long stopped crying but he was still hugging tightly. They both hadn't
spoken yet. They were by now completely covered in snow, and freezing.
Slowly Nick pushed a little against Tommy's chest and looked in his
eyes. Tommy just looked back at him and gave him a smile.

"Thank you, for coming get me." Nick managed to say.

"Hey" Tommy started smiling "no problem, what are friends for? Are you
alright now?"

Nick could tell the young man was concerned, and it made him happy. "Yeah,
yeah i am." He was, he decided, time to go back.

Nick reached for Tommy's hand and tentatively took it, and felt the youth
grabbing him tight. Together they made their way out of the gardens never
noticing that it had stopped snowing.


Kevin was changing his shirt to be able to finally get out and meet Andrew
so they could go and look for Nick.  It had been more than 12 hours and he
was worried.  He became more worried when he heard his door open with a
loud noise. There on the entrance to his changing room was Philippe looking
desperate.

"Kevin you have to come now."

Immediately Kevin was panicking hearing the distress on the young
assistant's voice. "what is it? Whats going on?"

"Its Andrew, he fainted."

"What?" Kevin was quickly on the move, his heart was beating fast "Where is
he?" he asked Philippe, who was now running beside him.

"On the Paranoia's booth set. I took him there after he fainted near the
runway."

"OK, lets go there, and start calling a doctor." He demanded.

They quickly reached the set and Kevin opened the door. There on the couch
near the make up table, was Andrew, his Andrew.  Seeing him there made him
want to scream in pain.  He ran to his side and knelt down next to
him. Already Andrew was coming about wile Kevin gently brushed his hand
alongside his face. Then on an impulse, before he could check himself,
Kevin bent down and kissed Andy.


He was finally coming about, he could see someone faintly but all to quick
another feeling went through him.  Pleasure.  Someone was kissing him, no,
not someone. Kevin.  He couldn't make much sense of it at that time because
a single thought came to mind.

'Sarah, Oh my God Sarah'

He quickly pulled Kevin back, and before he could really take in the
alarmed look on his face, he brushed him aside to see Philippe standing
right behind him.

"Quickly" He tried to act as fast as possible "Philippe, something is
wrong, i need a cab NOW!"

Kevin was thunderstruck for a few seconds before pulling himself together
and standing up.

"Philippe, snap out of it, i need to go to Le Meridien NOW, get me a cab!"
that did it, Philippe was on the move and Andrew turned to Kevin who was
now wearing a cold expression on his face.

"What happen? Did they find Nick?" He asked coldly.

Andrew was a bit phased form the tone, but manage to talk "No, i don't
know, but my sister is in trouble, something bad happen she called crying
from the Gard du Nord station and i asked A.J. to pick her up, then after
the show Brian calls me and tells me he called an ambulance for my
sister. I'm scared" He finally broke his primary goal this year and started
shedding some tears.  Kevin's demeanor changed and he quickly hugged the
smaller man, and waited for Philippe to come get them.


Happiness is an illusive concept, sometimes you think you're happy and you
really just don't know what true happiness is. Sometimes you are miserable,
because you are too blind to see that happiness is right in front of
you. So that leads most people to believe that happiness just dances in
front of us when we reach rock bottom.  You cant get much worse, so
anything else is welcomed.  That's what Andrew was thinking about all the
way to the hospital. They had gone to the hotel and from there they caught
a cab to meet Sarah in the hospital, but all the way there, the only thing
on Andrew's mind, was knowing that happiness was just as bitchy as Buddha.
He still couldn't believe the news.  Pregnant.  Sarah was pregnant, and her
waters had broken shortly after arriving at Gard du Nord station in Paris.

'Perfect.'

He turned slightly to the right to look at Kevin who was looking at him
with a sad expression. He was worried he knew. On the other side of him
stood Howie, that had staid behind at the hotel so he could deliver the
message to Andrew, his sister was having a baby.

'Mom is gonna love this.'

Then he thought about Nick, Tommy had called Kevin's phone shortly after
they were in the cab to tell them that he had found the singer, and that he
was alright. Andrew was still worried though, but his reasons were a little
selfish. He was worried that maybe Kevin would not want to face A.J. thus
not pursuing any kind of relationship with him. He was getting ahead of
himself he knew, but he couldn't help himself, thoughts of the moment
shared by the two on the runway came to mind, and for a brief instant he
smiled.


The dead rarely intervene in our lives. When they do, they do so by the
hands of the living.  Not this time.  This time Andrew felt his sister
screaming inside him, her pain in his heart. He felt her quiet desperation
for the last 9 months. He cried.  Kevin was losing hope that Andrew was
going to stop crying anytime soon, they had been hugging for an hour, after
the attempt Andrew had made to go see his sister right after she had died
giving birth to a boy.  Two nurses had to stop him, for a small guy he was
strong.  Tommy had arrived shortly after, and he surprised Kevin by not
shedding one tear, he just held on to Nicks hand and looked sadly at
Andrew.  His Andrew.  The pain he felt from the young man was killing
Kevin, he no longer knew what to do, it was too much, he wanted to scream.
And for awhile, he did so in his head.

It took a lot of convincing but Andrew finally conceded giving the only
seats available that day to New York, to Tommy and Nick. Sarah, would go
too. The family had all be notified, and after a lot of crying, his mother
had agreed on meeting her daughter and her grandson in New York.  This way,
Andrew could finish the Fair, he didn't know how he would do that, but he
had decided that he would find a way.


They were both seating on the plane flying over the Atlantic, Kevin had
been quiet for the most part of the flight so far, but Andrew had something
on his mind.

"Can i ask something?"

Kevin turned a little to the blond man and nodded.

"Why did you and your wife break up?"

Again Kevin turned, this time to face the window, and just stood silently.
Andrew was worried he had offended Kevin with the question, but he felt he
had to know. Finally Kevin spoke.

"I was unhappy. Partially due to the marriage, so we just decided it was
better to just break up as friends rather than do so as enemies later."

Andrew just nodded his understanding even though Kevin wasn't looking at
him. He knew what it was like to break up, and as if on cue Kevin spoke.

"What about you? After your wife, was there anyone?"

"Yes there was." Andrew started saying with a faint smile, he couldn't help
it, thinking about his life with Rick never made him sad, not even the
breakup "I was with a guy named Rick for six months."

"Did you love him?" Kevin was looking at him, and he didn't know why, but
the question bothered him. Kevin must have felt that he was bothered
because he soon spoke again "sorry, that is none of my business" he quickly
looked to the back of the seat in front of him.

"No, its OK" Andrew conceded "I did, i did love him, i still do in a way,
just like i still love my ex wife, i think when you really love a person,
the love never stops, it might change, but it doesn't stop."

Kevin just kept looking forward.

"Kevin" Andrew started nervously.

"Yeah?"

"What would you say if i told you i liked you?"

For a long time Kevin just remained quiet, and when Andrew was finally
losing hope he heard him say:

"I would say that we had to talk."


"WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?"

Brian was yelling, he had been for a wile now. "How could you do that to
Nick?"

"Shut up OK, enough, i heard enough already, just shut the fuck up"
A.J. threw back.

"No i will not shut up, he is your friend, and he loves you Alex, explain
to me please, what part of you is so evil that you could just make him
suffer so much that he had to hide for the better part of a day."

"Enough, you want to keep pressing this subject FINE, but i wont be here."
A.J. started leaving the room.

"Alex wait." But he was gone. Brian was in desperation with how Alex was
still handling the situation. He knew there was something there beyond the
gay thing, more so after he saw the look that A.J. had at the hospital
after they had brought Sarah in. He was suffering. "I don't know what to
do" he finally said looking at Howie who had been quietly seating on the
bed.

"Do nothing" Howie said calmly.

"How can you say that, did you look at Nick? He's like my brother and that
asshole is making him cry? How can i do nothing?"

"Simple" Howie slowly got up "you can because you know that deep down
A.J. is a good guy and he is obviously going through something" he
continued preventing Brian from interrupting "and if you remember, he never
lashed out at Nick directly, even this time at dinner, the insult was meant
for Andrew, you just have to realize, that he is not you, it may take him a
little more time but he will deal with whatever is going on and when he
does, he will come to you" he stopped in front of Brian and put a hand on
his shoulder "stop forcing him, it only makes it worse."

Brian was quiet for a few moments before hugging his friend, and then both
went downstairs, they had to catch a plane home.


They had picked up their luggage and were going to the arrival gate where
they were to meet Alicia. She had offered to pick them up and Andrew
readily had agreed, he needed his best friend.  They were just passing
through the gate when he saw her. He didn't even think, he just let go of
his luggage and ran to her. Alicia just threw her arms around him and
hugged tight.  Andrew was enjoying the sense of security he was getting
from the embrace when he opened his eyes and looked over behind his ex wife
and saw him.

Standing there, a tear running down his face, somehow he knew it was one of
happiness for seeing him, but he still couldn't believe it. He was there.

Rick.

He pushed Alicia slowly and walked over to the man he had loved more than
anything. The man he thought would be his forever. He stopped just at arms
length and looked at him. he was still the most handsome man he had ever
saw.  The Blond hair falling to the eyes that were bright blue. The built
that was evident even through the thick sweater, yes he was heaven to his
eyes.

He knew that Alicia was probably anxious for his reaction even though she
was standing behind him.  Finally he just opened his arms and hugged his ex
boyfriend.  He heard Alicia breathing relieved.

"How are you" Andrew asked Rick once he had introduced Kevin to both of his
EXs.

"Good Andy, you know, giving the circumstances" Andrew knew that Rick
always had liked his sister better than any other member of his family,
with the exception of Ben.

"Yeah" Andrew looked up to the ceiling and back to Alicia "Where's Ben?"

"With your parents at my house, i figured we could go to yours, leave your
luggage there so you could see Tommy and then go to my place."

"That's fine" Andrew agreed looking at Kevin who was giving Rick a funny
look.

"Wait" Andrew started again "why isn't Tommy at your place? I thought
Mathew was coming too?"

"He did, and both Mathew and Linda are at my place with the newborn, but
after last night i thought it was better if Thomas spent as little time as
possible with his parents, at least until after the funeral, your mother
has enough to think about as it is."

"What do you mean after last night? What happened?" Immediately he was
concerned for Tommy.

"Well lets just say, yelling was involved, and i think Nick wont want to
meet the Archer couple anytime soon."  Alicia saw Andrew had more
questions, but she knew they had to move "look, i know you're still
curious, but i think Tommy should be the one to tell you what happened, OK?
Lets just go, your son misses you." That was all it took, mentioning Ben.

Andrew was already moving.


Tommy was seating on his bed looking at Nick who had been asleep for awhile
now. With what had happened with A.J.  and then the hospital, he knew he
was tired. The worst however, had been his parents reaction to Nick.

He didn't want to think about it.

Gently he brushed Nicks hair to the side and looked at his face. 'God, he's
cute.'  He knew what he was feeling was attraction... for a guy, but
somehow it didn't bother him.

'Funny.'

He heard the front door of the apartment opening, and slowly he got of the
bed and out of the bedroom, leaving Nick to his dreams. He went to the
entry hall and stopped, even before he looked at Andrew he noticed Rick.

'What the...'

He didn't have time to ponder why in hell was Rick there, because soon
Andrew was against his chest. He closed his eyes and just hugged back.


"So" Andrew heard Tommy starting to say when the four of them reached the
living room "Rick, you're a surprise."

'Oh oh'

"Tommy can i see you for a minute, in my room." Andrew had to act quick
before Tommy's overactive protecting qualities came into full effect.

They went to the room and closed the door, and as soon was they were alone
Tommy spoke. "What is he doing here?"

"Calm down." Andrew said with a calm tone.

"Calm down" started Tommy doing exactly the opposite "What do you mean calm
down? He broke your heart, and now on this tragic time he just pops back?"

"He didn't just pop back OK? You don't know all that happened. The only
thing you need to know right now is that he is a good friend and i love him
a lot, just like i do you, so please be civil, can you manage that?"

Tommy wasn't looking very happy, but Andrew knew it was all because his
nephew wanted to protect him.

"Fine!" Tommy said with forced acceptance. He looked one last time at
Andrew and left for the living room.


"So... Rick" 'oh shit', was all Alicia was thinking "You were with Andrew
right?" 'shit shit shit'.

"Hum... yeah, for about six months why?" Rick was looking intently at
Kevin.

"Oh, no reason, i just heard about you that's all, its nice to put a face
to the name."

'Yeah right' Alicia knew Kevin was finding this anything but nice, it was
evident.


They left Andrew's apartment soon after that, Tommy chose to stay behind
telling his uncle that he would explain what had happen between him and his
parents at dinner once Andrew returned home.  The drive to Alicia's
apartment in the East Village was anything but comfortable, the silence was
killing Andrew that kept looking behind to the back seat where Rick and
Kevin quietly stood.

'Buddha we seriously need to talk.'

They were at the entrance to Alicia's when she stopped and faced the 3
men. "OK, look Andrew, try not to kill your brother OK? At least not until
you hear what Tommy has to say."

"Don't worry" was all Andrew said, he was in a hurry, he had to see his
son.

Alicia opened the door and let the men in. Immediately Andrew started for
the living room where he found both his parents seating on the couch. His
father had a blank look on him, and his mother was silently crying.  His
heart broke a little.

"Jazz!" he heard his mother calling him. Quickly he joined her on the couch
and gave her a kiss.

"Hi ma, how are holding up?"

"Its hard Jazz, its so hard" He hugged his mother and just stayed like that
for awhile repeating what he knew, everyone said on these situations "Its
gonna be OK ma, she is in a better place."

He finally let go of Mrs Archer to turn to his father who was silently
looking at him with a sad smile. They hugged. It didn't bother him that his
father wouldn't cry, he wasn't surprised, he would never cry if he was with
one of his sons, he had to set the example.

"Ma, dad, this is Kevin, and of course you remember Rick." Andrew said
Introducing the two that had been standing looking awkward at the entrance
to the living room.

Very respectably Kevin moved forward and kissed Mrs Archer hand and shook
Mr Archer's firmly.  You could tell Andrew's mother was pleased with the
singer, until of course she turned her attention to Rick.  Her pride and
joy.

"Richard!" 'Here we go' Andrew and Alicia changed knowing glances. "Its
been so long, too long" Mrs Archer said hugging the man.

Andrew knew that now his mom would talk to his ex boyfriend for at least an
hour so he turned to Alicia.  "Where's my son?"

"My room"

"OK" and as he passed her he said "please save Kevin from her" Alicia just
smiled.

Andrew reached Alicia's room door and looked at the knob.

'It's been a long time' he thought. The last time he had gone into this
room they were still married.

'Well things change.'

He opened the door and looked inside. Seating on the bed was Linda, his
sister in law, holding the newborn who was asleep. She looked at him and
gave him, what was now the popular face expression of the season, a sad
smile.  Siting, not far from her, holding Ben was Mathew, his brother. He
didn't even had time to look at his face.

Ben was crying.

His world stopped. There was no mistaking it this time, It just stopped.
His son was crying, nothing else mattered.

He ran as fast as he could to the foot of the Bed and yanked Ben from his
brother so fast that Mathew was thrown a bit onto his back. He didn't care,
this was his life, the world could die.

Ben just kept saying "Daddy" over and over again wile Andrew held him. He
was not letting go.

'Ever.'

Alicia must have felt something was wrong because soon she was there
holding both father and son.  He knew, he didn't know how, but he knew Ben
felt that something was not right.  Ben never cried, for all the time he
was alive he must have cried the first couple of weeks, and then 2 times
after that.  No, Ben never cried, Ben giggled.

After a long time Andrew looked at his son, who was now falling asleep and
turned around. With one look, Alicia knew what he wanted. She waled to
Linda and gently took the newborn from her arms, and together, the long
separated Archer couple, left the room, leaving the older Archer couple
looking at each other.



Well one more done. I hope you liked it.  It has been fun writing.

Comments are always appreciated as well as critics, there is always time to
get better.

gridlinked@gmail.com

Again i wish everyone a Happy New Year.

All the best

Mike