Date: Sat, 14 Jun 2003 14:05:16 -0400
From: Writer Boy <writerboy69@hotmail.com>
Subject: rebound - part 43

Obligatory warnings and disclaimers:

1) If reading this is in any way illegal where you are or at your age, or
you don't want to read about male/male relationships, go away. You
shouldn't be here.

2) I don't know any of the celebrities in this story, and this story in no
way is meant to imply anything about their sexualities, personalities, or
anything else.  This is a work of pure fiction.

Questions and commentary can be sent to "writerboy69@hotmail.com". I enjoy
constructive criticism, praise, and rational discussion. I do not enjoy
flames, and will not tolerate them.

That said, we now continue.

***

I left my empty plate at the table with everyone else's, figuring that we
would just pick them up later, and followed JC and Justin down the
hall. Justin was bouncing along eagerly, and JC had a noticeable little
spring in his step, too. When I walked into the studio, right behind JC,
Justin was already flipping the lights on, and turning on switches on the
board, which, to me, was as incomprehensible as the controls on a jet liner
would look. I'd taken a little peek in here both times that I'd toured the
house, on my own and with Justin, but both times I'd just kind of leaned in
and leaned out, since I didn't know what anything was, what purpose it
served, or what might happen if I touched something.

Now I gave the room a second look as Justin settled onto a low stool in
front of the boards. There was a pair of them, although JC was still
standing while I looked around, and against the wall by the door we had
just come through there was a matching couch, all three of them padded with
soft, caramel colored leather. There was a cabinet against the wall, too,
and inside I could see racks of tape and tape cases. Aside from the
soundboard there was also a lot of counter space, and I wondered if they
had someone design this room, too. Everything was tastefully trimmed in
dark wood and black lacquer, and there were speakers set in the walls in
addition to the sound panel by the door that I'd seen so far in every room
of the house. On the other side of the control panel was a thick window,
and through it I could see a very small studio room, covered in that
weirdly designed gray acoustical stuff that you always saw in those kinds
of rooms on television, and there was also a keyboard on a stand, a guitar,
and another one of those stools in the room.

"You guys couldn't do a whole album in here, could you?" I asked, looking
around.

"No," JC answered, shaking his head. Justin was looking through the tape
cases, reading JC's carefully written labels. "This is just a really basic
home setup that we use sometimes. We can do rough cuts, but not something
that, you know, we could really share with a lot of people. Right, Justin?"

"Yeah," Justin answered distractedly, not looking up. "Where'd you put the
mix you were working on?"

"I left the tape in the deck," JC answered, frowning a little. His blue
green eyes narrowed as he glanced back and forth between Justin and
I. "Anyway, like I was saying, it's good if we want to sketch something out
and have the guys listen to it, or a producer, but we can't really get the
kind of quality in here that we could put on an album.  Did you want to see
some of the equipment? I could tell you what it does."

"He doesn't really need to know that," Justin said quickly, still flipping
switches and turning things on. "I mean, it won't mean anything to him
anyway. Are you ready to work on this?"

JC's mouth pursed, his lips thin, and a little line appeared between his
eyebrows as he glanced again at Justin. I walked over to the couch.

"Justin's right," I said, shrugging. "I don't know what any of this does,
and really don't need to, and I'm just kind of keeping you from
working. I'll just sit back here and listen, and you guys go ahead and
listen to your mixes and stuff."

If Justin was actually listening to me, rather than focusing on the music
they were about to work on, he might have caught the tiny hint of
bitterness in my tone.  Once again, as I had been so many times already
since we came to Florida, I felt like I was being pushed aside. I hadn't
quite been shoved out a side door again, but Justin had casually brushed me
off, reminding me pretty handily that my place wasn't with the band.
Whatever the reasons Justin had brought me here for, whatever I was to him,
it was clear that where this aspect of his life was concerned, I was a
spectator, not a participant.  The fact that he wasn't doing it on purpose,
that he didn't even seem to realize that he'd stung me, made it even worse.

As I sat on the couch, folding my knees up, wrapping my arms around them,
and listening to them work, I tried not to be mad at Justin. After all,
we'd just had a discussion about talking to each other, and not holding
things in. I figured it could wait until later, since disturbing Justin
with it now might throw off their efforts, but the minute I thought that I
got pissed again, because I knew that he would, indeed, look on it as a
disturbance. At the same time, though, I knew that Justin was a musician.
This was his career, but also most of his life, and when he was working on
it, he was focused. He was fully immersed in it, and I'd known he would be
like that when we got together. I knew that it was this important to him,
and this much a part of him, so I was being unfair to think of coming in
between. At the same time, if I was important to him, too, why wasn't he
trying to share all of his life with me?

He didn't seem to have a problem sharing it with JC. The two of them were
hunched over the board, speeding things up or slowing them down or
adjusting the reverb, or any number of other things that I heard but didn't
understand. Maybe I would have comprehended it a little more if Justin had
bothered to include me, but that wasn't on his list of things to do right
now. Instead his list included music and JC, in that order. They got very
excited as they chattered back and forth, and the creative energy between
them was almost palpable. At one point JC went into the recording room and
tried a different beat and rhythm on the keyboard as Justin offered
directions and suggestions from the control board, recording a new reel of
tape and grinning at JC through the glass.

JC, a little more observant than my own boyfriend, seemed to catch a little
bit of my mood, no matter how well I covered it. He'd looked a little tense
at the beginning, when he'd been about to show me around and Justin had cut
him off, and now, as they were about to start on another song, finally
satisfied with the first one, he gave me a little shrug. His face, as
always, was hard for me to read. I realized that I could only get a feeling
for what JC was thinking when he was very upset, and all I was getting now
was that same thin lipped, slightly tense look, as if something was
irritating him. Was he irritated with me?

"Justin, do you want to take a break?" he asked, looking away from where I
still sat on the couch, my knees still folded up. It was interesting to
watch them work, but not terribly exciting when they kept working on the
same song over and over, and when I glanced at my watch I saw that we'd
been in the studio for over two hours.

"No, I'm cool," Justin answered without turning around. The little frown
line between JC's eyebrows got a little more pronounced. "Why? You need to
hit the bathroom or something?"

"No, I'm good," JC sighed. He caught Justin's eyes, moving off to the side,
and deliberately fixed his glance from Justin to me. "I just thought maybe
Chris might be a little bored or something."

Justin glanced over at me, his eyes barely meeting mine. He had a slightly
irked look on his face, and I could see his shoulders tense up.

"Chris, you're fine, right?" he said, putting words in my mouth, already
letting me know what answer he expected. I felt something sharp inside,
another little pang of hurt. "You don't mind if we keep working?"

"Do whatever you want," I said, shaking my head. My tone was a little
harsher than I'd intended, my feelings finally showing through, and Justin
blinked as I stood, fighting the urge to ball my hands into fists and stomp
out of the room. "I'm going to go clean up dinner or something. You just
stay here and work as long as you want to."

The three of us stared at each other for a minute, Justin with his head
cocked to the side in that surprised and curious way of his, JC's face
unreadable as his eyes darted back and forth between the two of us, and me
fighting the urge to scream at Justin to notice that I existed and give me
one damn minute of his time, while also fighting the idea that I was being
unreasonable and that he didn't have to spend every waking minute taking
care of me and coddling me. I broke the stare first, turning away and
stepping into the hallway.  Behind me I heard JC, his voice low and polite
as always.

"Justin, we can stop for the night," he began, and Justin cut him off.

"No, get out the mix for 'Tearin' Up My Heart'," he commanded sharply, in
his spoiled pissed off little boy tone, the one I thought of as the Airport
Voice, since it was the first one I'd heard. "I'll be right back."

I was already halfway to the kitchen when he caught up with me.

"Chris!" he said sharply from behind me. I stopped and turned, meeting his
annoyed gaze with my own. "What's your problem tonight?"

My problem?

"Excuse me?" I asked tersely.

"Why are you being like this?" Justin asked, dropping his voice as he
stepped closer to me. He glanced back down the hall, but JC was still in
the studio. "First you want me to spend more time with JC, and now you're
acting all jealous and pissy. All you've been doing all day and all night
is going back and forth, and I'm getting tired of it."

My hands clenched into fists anyway, even after I'd tried to keep them from
doing it, and I let out a long, slow exhale as I tried to calm down. I
couldn't believe he couldn't see what the problem actually was, but it
really didn't surprise me. Justin's perspective was always a little narrow.

"Justin, I'm not jealous of JC," I said carefully. I was about to go off on
him, but realized there was no point to it. I didn't want to make him
choose between his music and me, and I realized right then that I also
didn't want to spend any time with him tonight. Right now I actually wanted
to be away from him. "I guess I just, maybe I'm tired, and I'm a little
bored. I'm sorry. You go ahead and have fun, ok?"

Justin swallowed, reaching out to rub my shoulder.

"I know that music's not really your thing, Chris," he began, and I bit
back the urge to point out that I might be more interested if I had any
idea of what they were doing. "It's just, I've waited a really long time to
work on this, and this stuff is really important. I know I've been a little
bit of a jerk tonight, but I really wanted to get some of this done."

Sure. OK. Justin was always sorry after he was a jerk. That was unfair,
though. He was trying to be sorry, and after I'd lectured him earlier about
meeting people halfway, I needed to try to do the same thing.

"It's ok, baby," I said, shrugging. I didn't really feel it yet, but if I
thought about it all night I might convince myself that I really wasn't
bothered. "I know this is important to you."

Justin wrapped his arms around me, pulling me tightly against him and
giving me a good squeeze before he let go.

"You're important to me, too," he said, smiling. "And tomorrow we'll go do
something fun, ok? Just let me work on this tonight, please?"

He looked so earnest, and so plaintive, that I had no choice but to nod. I
wanted him to be happy, and as I gave him another hug and accepted a quick
peck on the lips, he certainly seemed to be. I watched Justin bounce back
down the hall, and no matter what I'd promised him or promised myself, I
couldn't help but think that Matt had never treated me this way. If I was
upset about something, Matt would have recognized it without needing to be
told. He would have looked at me with his warm brown eyes, searching my
green ones until his found what was wrong, and he would have made it
better.  He never would have given me a kiss and walked away down the hall
to go back to his own needs, because when I was with Matt there wasn't ever
a difference between his needs and mine, and I couldn't say the same for me
and Justin.

At least JC seemed to recognize that there was a problem. He had tried
several times to get Justin to include me, and when Justin didn't JC had
even tried to do it himself. JC was doing his best to try to be a friend to
me, and at the moment I was sad to admit that he was doing a better job of
it than my own boyfriend was.

For the rest of the night I tried to decide if I was right to be mad at
Justin or not. Sure, he was making me feel like an inconvenience, and he
was pushing me to the sidelines as he put his own interests above mine, but
I hadn't told him how I felt. I had my chance to in the hallway, but I let
it go, trying to smooth things over rather than actually working them
out. Since I hadn't taken that chance, and I had let it go, wasn't I
supposed to let go of being angry, too, especially when Justin had promised
that we would do something fun tomorrow to make up for this? He was trying,
and maybe I should be, too. On the other hand, I already had. The whole
reason we were in this house was because of me. The reason Justin was
spending all this time with JC was because of me, and what I had done.  How
much more was I expected to do to appease Justin? How much more would I
have to give before what I was getting in return stopped feeling like
concessions and handouts and felt more like, I don't know, like I actually
mattered?

I hadn't sorted it out by the time I went to sleep after cleaning up dinner
and watching television alone for a while. I wanted to call Michelle, or
April, or even Joey, but doing that felt like I would be admitting that the
relationship was failing, and I didn't want to do that. I didn't want to
prove them right, and I didn't want to think that, either, when it might
not be true. Lots of couples fought, argued, and had difficulties.  Justin
and I had argued from the minute we met, and we both knew and accepted
that. If we didn't get past this, then the relationship might collapse
after all, but if we did get past it, I didn't want these lingering doubts
floating around in everyone's heads if I called them now. I didn't want
them thinking he and I were on shaky ground, because we wouldn't be if I
could just accept the way that Justin was going to treat me sometimes, the
way he seemed to treat everyone at one point or another, or if he could
change a little.  Maybe, if he loved me, I would be exempt from it. Maybe
he would put my needs above his at some point, mirroring what I did for
him.

I was still awake when he came to bed much later and slid under the covers
with me. I was sleeping in boxers, and as he moved beneath the covers to
spoon up behind me I could feel that he had his briefs on. His touch on my
shoulder, just one hand at first, was a little tentative as he laid his
body against mine, his chest settling in against my back and his head
dropping onto the pillow next to mine. His nose brushed my hair as he
settled in against me, and when I relaxed against him he finally draped his
arm across my chest, pulling me in tight. I felt his breath on the back of
my neck as he gently caressed my chest for a second.

"Chris?" he whispered, his voice feather soft. "Are you awake?"

"Kind of," I answered. "Did you get a lot done? Was it good?"

"Yeah," he answered, squeezing me. I could hear the smile in his voice.
"Yeah, I think we have 'Sailing' all worked out, and we got a lot done on
'Tearin' Up My Heart'. JC wants to do it all bluesy, and I wanted to do it
kind of technopoppy, but it sounds better his way, so I think I'll let him
have that one and then we'll do 'Gone' my way. It's my song, anyway."

"I'm glad you had fun, babe," I whispered, feeling a little better about
it.  He sounded so happy, but at the same time I was getting that patented
Me-First Justin vibe from this, too. I didn't think there was really
supposed to be a "mine" in "Nsync", and remembered what April had said
about Justin taking over the last album, and JC letting him. "And that it
was good work."

"It was," he said, kissing my shoulder once before he settled his head back
on the pillow next to mine. He sighed. "I, um, thank you, baby. Thanks for
giving me that little push. It was good to work on stuff again, and to work
with JC. It's not the same, but for a little bit, it felt like, I don't
know, like we connected again, at least a little.  He wasn't so sad, and I
wasn't angry, and we got along. I love you, Chris."

"I know, Justin," I answered, and right then, I believed it. He loved me.
"Get some rest now, ok?"

"Good idea," he said, pressing himself against me. "We're going to have a
big day tomorrow."

"Oh, are we?" I asked, smirking in the dark.

"Yeah," he answered, chuckling against me. "I have to do something nice for
you, since you did something nice for me, like I promised I would."

There, see? He was trying. I had to give him credit for that, and stop
letting all of these stupid little doubts get in the way of what we had. I
fell asleep resting against him, slowly trying to convince myself that I
was being unfair and unreasonable, and wondering if maybe I was jealous of
the time that Justin was spending with JC, and acting out because of that
without wanting to admit it to myself. I'm not really sure how successful I
was, but I eventually fell asleep.

I woke up before Justin, who was wrapped tightly around me. I could feel
his morning wood stiffly pressed against my hip, and his arms were tight
around me. I was on my back, but he was on his side, and had burrowed his
face into the crook of my neck. When I woke I must have shifted a little,
because he nuzzled against me, murmuring softly. I smiled, letting him play
his octopus game again, while I softly breathed in his scent, a soft,
fresh, kind of musky smell. Justin, by himself, smelled good, but it was
hard to ever catch beneath the cologne and lotion and shower gel and
everything else he always wore.  In the morning, though, when his soft skin
slid against mine, if I leaned into him I could always catch a little whiff
of it. I wondered if I had a scent, too, and what it smelled like, and
whether Justin enjoyed it.

I didn't wake him, not knowing what he had planned for us, and I showered
and dressed alone, trying to be quiet. When I was done, I drifted
downstairs, turned on the coffee pot, and started looking through the
refrigerator for something to eat. I knew that there were some bagels in
there somewhere, and also some fruit, but it was the largest refrigerator
I'd ever seen in a house, and as I leaned further and further in I
seriously thought for a minute that the door might close behind me and trap
me inside. As I finally found the bagels and cream cheese I heard noise
behind me as someone else walked into the kitchen.

"Justin?" I asked without turning around. I needed the creamer, too. "JC?"

"The second one," JC answered. "Good morning."

"Hey, good morning," I said, smiling. Breakfast with JC yesterday had been
nice and calm, and he was the only person in the house that I wasn't quite
angry with. I still held it against him that he'd hurt Justin, but that
wasn't really a hurt against me, so it didn't sting as much.

"Could you grab the milk while you're in there?" he asked, opening a
cabinet. "I want cereal."

"Sure," I answered, turning around with my arms full. We both laughed as he
helped me get everything onto the counter, and then he and I busied
ourselves with getting our breakfast together. Like me, JC was the kind of
person who had to get up and get right in the shower, and the ends of his
long brown hair, streaked with gold highlights, were still damp and curling
a little. I wasn't sure about the mullet he was growing in, which Justin
hated, as I thought it looked kind of good on him. He was barefoot again,
but I was starting to get used to that, too.

JC brought in the newspaper from the front of the house, and the two of us
split it up while we ate breakfast. It was quiet and relaxed, and I had
several cups of coffee to match the tea that he kept drinking as he poured
honey into cup after cup. We talked about the things in the paper, and I
discovered that JC had a much better grasp of the world and of current
events than Justin did. JC explained that he caught up on the news at least
once a day from CNN as he divided up an orange onto two paper towels. He
pushed one of them toward me, the sections neatly piled in the center,
without me asking, and I thanked him for it as we continued trading the
sections of the newspaper back and forth.  When we finished up breakfast,
he carried his bowl and spoon to the sink to rinse them.

"Are you and Justin doing anything today?" he asked, rinsing off my bagel
knife and plate, too. He opened the dishwasher.

"He said he wanted to take me somewhere fun," I answered, shrugging. I got
up to pour myself another cup of coffee. "Since we didn't really do
anything together last night."

"Oh," JC said noncommittally, busying himself with loading the
dishwasher. I continued reading the paper, since there weren't any hard
feelings between JC and I about Justin's behavior last night. "Chris?"

"Yeah?" I asked, looking up. JC was leaning against the closed dishwasher
with his arms crossed, that same little troubled look on his face. I
wondered if he was naturally inexpressive, or if he was just guarded around
me. The only expressions he seemed to let through were grinning happiness
and this pensive, hesitantly frowning look when something bothered him. Oh,
yeah, and the crushing unhappiness that I'd glimpsed a couple of times, but
I was trying very hard not to see that.

"You haven't ever seen Justin working before, have you?" he asked. I shook
my head.  "Justin, and me, too, he's very focused when he's working. He
could go for hours, and he wouldn't remember to eat, or to take breaks. He
also, you know, what with going to see you and stuff, hasn't really gotten
to work for a couple weeks, and he's not used to that, so I guess he was
just eager last night to get back to it when he had the chance to. I guess
what I'm saying is that he, um, I could tell you were a little upset last
night, even if he was distracted and didn't really notice, and it might not
be my place to say so, but I don't think you should hold it against him."

"You don't?" I asked, folding my arms as I leaned back in the chair.

"No, I don't," JC said, shaking his head. "He didn't do it on purpose, and
on some level, he must realize he did something and feel bad about it. He's
trying to make up for it by taking you out, and I think you should meet him
halfway."

People kept saying that around here lately, but it was good advice. I
wasn't sure how I felt about taking advice on how to deal with my boyfriend
from his ex boyfriend, but while JC had that door open it probably wouldn't
hurt to ask questions.

"Did he do this with you?" I asked bluntly. "I mean, are you telling me to
accept it because he treated you this way, too?"

"Not exactly," JC answered, shaking his head. "I told you, this is the way
I work, too.  This never happened between Justin and I, because I was right
in there with him. He's not used to that with you, because he's still used
to working with me."

Of course he was, and that was a line of thought that I didn't want to
pursue. After all, if Justin was used to living with JC, and working with
JC, and being best friends with JC, it wasn't that great a leap to realize
that he was also used to being with JC, and that he feelings might lead him
back to all of his old habits. JC snapped me out of that before I could
start to dwell on it.

"Look, Chris, I'm sorry if it wasn't my place to say anything," he said,
holding out his hands. "I just, I didn't like knowing that you were upset,
and that it was kind of my fault, and I wanted to try to smooth it over. I
guess, well, I know how Justin thinks, even if he always doesn't."

Of course he did, since he'd known Justin so much longer than I did. I
wondered for a second, looking at his blankly helpful face with his good
chin and good hair and multifaceted eyes and those damn perfectly sculpted
cheekbones that I would never have if he was really trying to be helpful,
or if he was just trying to subtly emphasize that he knew Justin in ways
that I didn't, and that he always would. Maybe he was trying to undermine
us, even now, under the guise of friendship. It didn't seem like something
he would do, but, then again, I didn't really know him that well at all,
did I?  Maybe when Chris's direct approach had failed, JC had decided to
sneak back in under the radar, covering his intentions under the guise of
friendship. Or maybe I was just letting this whole place make me more
paranoid, unsettled, and unconfident as every day went by.

"You're not overstepping your bounds," I said finally, shrugging,
unsure. "I guess that's just something else I need to think about."

"Thank God," JC said, smiling widely. "I know this is going to sound
stupid, and that's why I wasn't sure if I should say anything, but I should
have known that you were smart enough and mature enough that you wouldn't
take it the wrong way."

I smiled back at him, and then we both turned to look at the doorway as we
heard Justin approaching, sparing me the need to think of a response to
that. Justin smiled at both of us, coming down today fully dressed rather
than running a second engagement of yesterday's skin show in the
kitchen. He'd showered already, too, and as he went to the cabinet for a
cereal bowl, his standard breakfast, I watched JC push a teacup toward
Justin automatically, and Justin reached for the honey, murmuring a thank
you. As he sat down across from me I smirked, and both of them caught
it. JC rolled his eyes as he left the kitchen, but he was smiling, too.

"Good morning," I said to Justin, still reading the paper.

"Morning, baby," Justin answered, blowing me a kiss across the table. "What
are you smirking at?"

"The two of you, and your tea," I said, nodding toward the pot. "You'll
never get me off my coffee."

"It's for my throat, dumbass," Justin said, rolling his eyes. "Are you done
eating?"

"Yeah," I answered, still sipping my coffee as I flipped through the paper.

"Good," Justin said, grabbing my hand. He pulled it toward him and kissed
the back, smiling at me as his eyes locked onto mine. "As soon as I finish
my cereal, you and I have a big day. I'm taking you to the zoo!"

I wasn't sure how to take this. I liked zoos, in general, but it just
seemed so random.  Justin waited, grinning, across from me, still holding
my hand, his eyes sparkling, and I remembered what JC had said, about
Justin trying to make up for last night, even if he wasn't sure what he'd
done, exactly. I could have explained it to him, but everything seemed ok
today, and he was trying to make up for it. If I started complaining, it
would just ruin the mood, and I didn't want to do that. I wanted to think
about today as a fresh start. Since Justin and I had gone to bed without
discussing the argument, after we promised that we wouldn't go to bed
angry, I didn't feel like I should bring it up again.

The zoo was actually nice, set in rolling parkland, and Justin and I
strolled around, followed at a distance by one of the ubiquitous
bodyguards. Justin was wearing a floppy canvas rainhat and a pair of
sunglasses, which went fine with his casual t-shirt and cargo pants, and I
don't think anyone recognized him. Since we were in public we weren't
holding hands and we were careful not to really touch each other, even if
we walked next to each other. Justin picked up a little disposable camera
at the gift shop on our way in, and we took a lot of pictures of each other
standing next to things, making stupid faces, and trying to pet the
animals. Justin was relaxed and playful, making up stupid little songs and
doing little dances, trying to get the monkeys to copy his movements, and I
figured maybe it was good that he'd done that work last night after all.
After a while, though, I noticed that he was starting to fake his interest,
and I took him aside near the crocodiles, wondering why they had them in
the zoo, anyway, when we were in Florida and you could see an alligator in
the marsh along the highway.

"What's wrong?" I asked, looking around. The last thing we needed was for
someone to see us standing this close together, leaning toward each other,
or, rather, it was the last thing Justin needed. He blinked at me.

"Nothing," he answered, shaking his head. "Are you ok?"

"I'm fine, but Justin, I know you, and I can tell when you're faking it," I
said, crossing my arms. "You're bored, aren't you?"

Justin looked down, sighing.

"A little," he answered. "But you like stuff like this. You like zoos and
museums and stuff, like when you took me to the aquarium in Boston. You
don't like this?  You're not having fun? I wanted you to have a fun day,
and I wanted to be with you."

"Justin, I am having fun," I sighed. "But I won't if I know you're bored.
It's more fun for me just to spend time with you, just for us to be
together, and I'd rather do that with something we both like. Now, is there
anything you want to do? We already have the bodyguard, so we wouldn't have
to get one. Is there anywhere you want to go?"

Justin thought it over for a second.

"You want to go shopping?" he asked finally, grinning.

"Sure," I answered.

We had a much better day at the mall, as neither of us was faking it for
the other's benefit. I hadn't been shopping with Justin since I took him to
the market in Boston, and he'd spent hours in the Abercrombie, so I'd
forgotten what it was like to follow him from store to store. He did the
same for me, though, insisting that we should both have fun, and he even
tried to help me pick out some things. Along the way we didn't talk about
ourselves much, just talking about the stuff we were looking at, how much
it cost, and whether or not we should buy it, but it was still nice to just
be together, like I'd told him.  We had lunch at the mall in one of the sit
down restaurants, giving the hostess a little extra to put us all the way
in the back and the bodyguard at a table near ours, and as the afternoon
rolled on toward dinner we finally headed back to the house, laughing and
carrying our bags.

"JC?" Justin called as we traipsed in from the garage.

"We're home!" I yelled, both of us giggling at some joke the bodyguard had
told before he headed back to the guard booth, wishing us a good night.

We dropped the bags by the stairs and peeked into the music room, wondering
if JC had gone out. We were both giggly, and having spent the afternoon
slipping into and out of clothes, I knew that we were also both horny. If
JC wasn't home, then maybe we could have a repeat of yesterday. I was about
to tell Justin that I didn't think JC was home when we heard voices down
the hall, coming from the kitchen.

"You don't understand," JC said, sounding tired and frustrated. "This is
what I want."

For a second I was terrified that his ex was over here, and that Justin was
about to run into him, face to face, in his own house. The voice that I
heard instead didn't really do anything to make me feel better, though.

"This is bullshit, JC," Chris snapped. "You're better than this, and you
deserve better than to be here in this fucking house with the two of them!"

***

To be continued.