Chapter 12

EMAIL ME!!! pseud0nym@edsamail.com.ph

WARNING : Some content may sound incoherent or insane. It will be explained in the author's note.

My front door slammed hard. Someone must have either entered or left the house. Actually, I don't care. I was too busy sulking in my sorrows. It's actually been 3 days already. The three worst days of my life. It was feeling of absolute emptiness. I felt so numb about everything. Am I still human?

Brian never called me. No one from the band contacted me about anything. So much for friends. But I couldn't blame them. I was the one who broke it off with Brian. I was the one who hurt Brian. I am the bad guy now. I am bad.

The door of my room flung opened. There stood Rich with a death stare. I'm in no mood with this. Too sad to react. "Stand up." Rich ordered. I didn't move. Not a single muscle moved from my body. "You'll get out of this room whether you like it or not." Rich said nearing me. I wasn't budging still. I have to maintain ground. This is my territory. I have to stay put. 

Rich pulled me out of the bed to straighten me up. Yeah right. I just lay down on the floor feeling the coldness that the floor emits. Rich dragged me... literally. I wasn't feeling any pain or anything. My mind was too focused on one image, my angel. 

There goes my Brian, flying high. He's a pop star. A big pop star. And I was his boyfriend until I broke it off. Because I am a bad person. I am bad. "I am bad." I said out loud absentmindedly. The dragging stopped. I lay still on the white cold tiles. Cold. Like I was feeling at the moment. Cold.

A new cold feeling was present. It wasn't beneath me but something from above. Rain? It's been months before it rained. Good thing it rained. My flowers might be dying; they need water in order to live. 

A hand smacked at my face and there was Rich with his death stare again. I should tell him that he looks so goofy like that. "Snap. Out." Rich said in gritted teeth. Another smack hit my other cheeks. Well, I guess that's good to make my face even. I think it doesn't look good if my right cheek was red and the other is not. Got to thank Rich for doing that.

Rich is such a great friend. Maybe he did the rain dance. He is a very good friend. Better than anyone in the world. Wait, there's Brian. Brian is the bestest guy in the whole wide universe. Where did he go? Oh, right. I broke off our loving. I am a bad person. I am really bad. "I am bad." I said absentmindedly.

"Marty, listen to me. You are not bad. You are a good guy." Rich said with a softened face. Now that's a much better Rich. He looks so much cuter that way. And he's being a good friend again. Telling me I am a good guy but we all know who is bad... that's me. I am the villain in those films. 

"I am bad." I said. Another smack hit my face. 

Where is my other smack? I need that so my face would look even. I need my smacks. I need it. My face won't look good if the other cheek is redder than the other. It should be even.

Rich walked out of the bathroom and left me with Mother Nature's rain. Rain. Feels so good. Rain is good. How come it touches me? It shouldn't touch me coz I'm a very bad person. I hurt Brian. And he's a very good guy. He is an angel. That makes me bad. Very bad. Bad Marty. Rich reappeared. Is he gonna join me? Rain is good for you. It gives life. Like with my flowers.

"Please talk to him." Rich said and he brought the phone on my ear. Someone to talk to. But why does the want to talk to me? I am a very bad person. Very very bad. I made Brian cry and that is not good. What I did was bad. I am bad.

"Marty, talk to me." A voice said. That voice is awfully familiar. I just can't place it, who owns that voice. "Marty are you okay? This is Justin." So it's Justin. He's part of the group I worked with. I was supposed to be their music director in 5 more days. I guess not anymore. Because I made Brian cry. No wait, he's not part of the group. His boyfriend is part of the group. He's part of another group. What is its name? NSYNC. That's it. NSYNC. 

"I am bad." I said.

"Marty, listen to me. You are not bad. You are a good guy." Another friend to tell me that I am very good. But they shouldn't be my friend. I am a bad person. I might make them cry because I am bad. I have made Brian cry and I don't want to make others cry anymore. "Please Marty. Talk to me." Justin was sobbing already. See, I made him cry too. I am really bad. 

"I am bad." I said.

The phone was taken away from me. Hey, I was listening to Justin. He was sobbing and I want to comfort him. Wait, I can't do that. I am bad. I am the person who made him cry. Rich was right. He should take away the phone from me, I am bad.

"He has been like this for the past 3 days. He doesn't utter any words except 'I am bad' and I am worried sick already. I don't know what to do anymore." Rich was leaving me with the rain again. He should join me. No, he shouldn't. He might get infected with the 'bad' virus and that's the last thing I want. 

After a few minutes, Rich returned to me and peeled off my clothes. I am naked. Good, the clothes might become bad. I am bad and close contact with anything will turn them into something bad. Because I am a very bad person. The rain stopped. Rain is good and should have not stopped. Rich carried me to the bedroom and laid me on the bed. Soft bed. That's is good. But it might be bad after a few minutes. I have the 'bad' virus.

Rich walked out of the room leaving me alone. Why am I so bad? I didn't want to bad. I want to be good. Being bad is not good and that's what Brian needs, someone good. I want to be with Brian. But I am bad. I can destroy his name. I can't be good for him. He might turn bad as well and I don't want him to be bad. 

Rich returned in my room with a pair of boxers and a shirt. Rich is so good. He helped me be clothed and didn't leave me. I guess he is already immune to the 'bad' virus. He should sell the vaccine for it. He might get rich. Rich rich. That's a good one. I looked at Rich who would be rich. He has tears flowing. Oh, no. I am really bad. I guess Rich won't be rich because he has been touched by the 'bad' virus. He is like Brian, and Justin. "I am bad." I said.

Rich closed the lights of my room leaving me alone in my quarantined area. Because I am a bad person. "I am bad." I said staring in the darkness of my room. I dunno how long I stayed with the darkness. It seemed to have embraced me already. Dark is bad. I am bad.

I heard a soft knock at the door and it opened. It wasn't Rich this time. It was Justin. He looks so tired. He should rest. Rest is good for the body. Rest would re-energize you. Justin approached me. He stroked my forehead. His touch was so good. Oh, no. The 'bad' virus might get him. "Please snap out of it." Justin pleaded with me.

"I am bad." I said. Wow, I did say that. I mean, I willed saying what I am. I am bad. Justin hugged me. "Don't get too close. You might get the 'bad' virus." I said to Justin. He seemed to tense after that. He broke the hug.

"Oh my God, please don't tell me you've gone crazy." Justin said with bulging eyes. Those eyes. It was like Brian's, blue. Blue eyes. It's like the sea. So calming.

"I am not crazy." I said to him. "I am bad." I added. Justin just shrugged and gave me another embrace. I felt him trembling and sobbing. See, I did it again. "Don't go near me anymore. You might get the 'bad' virus. I made Brian cry. I made Rich cry. And now I made you cry." I said as tears began to cascade down my cheeks. It was the first time I cried again.

Justin broke the embrace after some little force I exerted. It was for his own good. The 'bad' virus has no cure. I thought Rich has the vaccine for it and I thought that it would make Rich rich. But I also made him cry and that's bad. A person seemed to have entered the room as well. I have no idea who is it. I looked at the direction of the door and there stood one of the Backstreet Boys. Nick.

Oh, no. He might beat me up because I made Brian cry. And now, I just made Justin cry as well. Justin is his boyfriend and they love each other intensely. He would hurt me. "Please don't hurt me." I cringed away from Nick's direction. I peered from the hands that were covering my eyes and what I saw in him was not anger but pity.

"I won't hurt you." Nick said with a smile as he approached me carefully. He shouldn't get near me. He might get the 'bad' virus. 

"Don't go near me. You might get the 'bad' virus." I said to him warning him of what he's gonna do. Nick just smiled at me weakly.

"Don't worry. I got vaccinated with the cure of the 'bad' virus and it won't get me." Nick said as he sat down on the bed with me. That's good to hear. 

"You must give that to Brian, Rich and Justin. I think I gave them the 'bad' virus because I am bad. Then, sell it to the world and it will make you the most richest man in the world." I said to him. I can imagine it now in the front page. Backstreet Boy has vaccine for Bad. That would make him filthy rich.

"Sure, I'll give it to them later." Nick said to him. "How did you get the 'bad' virus?" Nick asked me. I think that's important in Science these days. So, they will know the source. But they might use it for bio-terrorism and that's bad. I don't want to be the cause of the world to end.

"Don't tell anyone but I got it in Lexington." I whispered to him. "I broke it off with Brian coz Brian's parents said that it was for the best. They said that if I really love Brian, I should do what's best for him and break it off. So I did. I told Brian that we should break it up then he cried. He cried so hard. I know that it was my fault. I got the 'bad' virus." I cried. Nick hugged me. I think that's okay coz he has the vaccine. I could here the sobs escaping Justin's mouth.

"The doctor said to me that if you sleep very well. You might lose the 'bad' virus and I'll get you the 'anti-bad' drink later so you could get rid of it forever." Nick said to me.

"That's so cool. I don't wanna be bad anymore. Bad is not good." I said to him gesturing some things with my hands. 

"Justin and I will get the drink okay?" I nodded happily with Nick's words. They walked out of my room. I was so happy. Nick actually has the 'bad' virus cure. What did he say? I should get a very good sleep. I think that's easy. And drink the 'anti-bad' drink. I hope it doesn't taste bad. Medicine doesn't taste good. They always taste bad. Bad against bad. I should have figured it by now. Bad should repel bad and good attracts bad.

Nick returned with a glass of a clear liquid on his hands. I guess that's the 'anti-bad' drink. "Drink this. It would cure you." Nick said ruffling my hair. Nick is so good. Nick is my hero. I took the glass from his hand and stared at the clear liquid. I have to drink it. I drank it all as quick as possible to not taste the bitter after taste of the medicine. But there was none. It tasted nothing. It was like rain. But rain is good. It should be bad to repel the 'bad' virus. I guess it's part of the innovations of the new times. Welcome to the new millennium. "Now, sleep. When you wake up. No more 'bad' virus." Nick said and tucked me in bed.

"Thank you Nick. I really appreciate it." I said to Nick and sleep took me over.

EMAIL ME!!! pseud0nym@edsamail.com.ph