Chapter 6

EMAIL ME!!! pseud0nym@edsamail.com.ph

I just have one thing to say, the bus isn't that comfortable. I mean, the bunks were so small and because Brian and I were sharing a bunk, it was smaller, but a good reason to snuggle closer. It was truly a place for quick rest or something coz you won't have a full rest there. Well, I just hope that we won't stay in this bus for long. I looked at my watch and it read 10AM. An hour to go before we reach the place. There weren't that much to do. I'm bored. I walked away from the bunks area and scanned the guys in the lounging room. Kevin was on the phone about business prolly. Brian and Nick were playing video games, as usual. Howie was still in the bunks sleeping and AJ was somewhere there.

"Kev? Is there anything I can use to hook up in the net?" I asked. Kevin just pointed at a chord sticking out of the wall. I thanked Kevin and took my powerbook to sift through the emails. Once I was logged on, the new mail icon was blinking. There were only a few. Another one from Richard and Alfred and from my cyber buddy, Juju. I clicked Juju's email and started reading.

Subject : Sick and Tired

Hi there. God, I'm so tired of working. I can't believe that I could stand doing this everyday for the past God knows how many years! Enough with the whining, I know how you hate it :-) Anyway, we are on our way back to Florida for vacation. Thank God! But sadly, my boyfriend and I are having problems these days and I think the vacation is what we really need... I hope. We've been fighting for the past few days because of almost everything. I just don't know what to do? I love him so much. *sigh* Anyway, mail me.

Hugz

JuJu

So there's problem in paradise? This is gotta be big. Well, Juju and his boyfriend's relationship has been going on strong since forever. I've known Juju through his mails and this is the first time this problem came up. Better think of a good advice for him.

Subject : Take your time

Heya! Just wanna reply back to you as soon as possible coz if there's trouble between you two, the world must be ending. *lol* I think you and your boyfriend share the best relationship ever in this whole wide world. well, anyway, just try to give him space and try to think through everything. i think reassessing what you're feeling is a good thing not just for you but for him as well. well, gotta jet now coz my man calls. :-)

Got a cell now, if you wanna give me a ring, don't hesitate.

Kizzez

Marty

Well, Brian was really calling me. He was already fed up losing all the games he played with Nick. "Marty! Come here and show Mr. I'm-so-good-in-video-games here how to really play." Brian whined. Sometimes, I find him just like a kid which I really adore.

"Okay. Gonna be there." I said as I finished typing the number of my cell. I sent the message and logged off to finally kick some Nick Carter butt... which I actually did.

"You're no fair!" Nick said out loud. We've been playing for sometime now but he never won. Let's just say I love playing games and read stuff from the net about these games, especially tips and codes.

"What? It's part of the game!" I defended myself from the meanie. Well, I was winning and that's the most important part about it. I just grinned at him, trying to irritate him further. "Wanna play again?" I asked which he answered with a glare.

"Children! We have arrived." AJ shouted. Finally! I thought it was forever til we reach this place. I looked at my watch and it read, 10:50. They're even early. That's good.

We shut off the game and we just dispersed. All of them went to get something from their things and I just lounged by the couch there. "You comin?" Howie asked as he was about to exit the bus.

"Nah! It's you that they want. Go on. I'll be fine here." I said with a smile. Interviews? Sheesh, they give me the creeps. Howie just shrugged and walked away. Howie is still a mystery for me. It was always like that, simple talks. It wasn't like how Nick and I talk or how Brian and I talk which is so different. I guess we just don't click together.

Brian came next and tried to persuade me to come with them. He even used the old sick puppy look on me. "Bri, I'll be okay here. It's just gonna be for a short while." I reasoned out to him which he answered with a pout. "That won't work." I said to him. Brian knew he was defeated and just kissed me.

"Don't go anywhere okay?" Brian said as he separated himself from me and walked out of the bus for the interview. I yawned. Okay, I think the bunk calls. But my back would be so complaining once I wake up. I can picture it already.

"Sweetie, wake up." Someone was nudging me. Who on earth is waking me up in an ungodly hour? Oops... I'm in the bunk, the not so very comfortable bunk. I opened my eyes and there stood Brian. Ah, a good sight to wake up with. "We are here in the hotel." Brian informed me. I stretched a bit and tried to sit on the bunk still feeling the sleepiness but I sensed the change in Brian's disposition.

"How was the interview?" I asked him. Brian just sighed. Normal irritating interview I think. "C'mon! Let's go to the room." I said dragging him away from the bunks area. Our luggage were gone, I think they brought it already so we just walked out of the bus. Wait, something was missing. "No screaming girlies?" I asked Brian.

"Decoyed them with another hotel." Brian said with no life and we continued to walk til we reached the lobby where the other guys were.

"Now that everyone's here, this is the plan." Kevin started. I really admire him for keeping the guys in line. "You have the rest of the day for yourself but tomorrow, we have a full schedule. We have another interview by 10AM, then we go to the stadium for sound check and then, it's concert time." Indeed, that was a full schedule, and tiring. "Here are your keycards and enjoy the rest of the day." Kevin said as he handed to us our keycards. No surprise that Brian and I are sharing a room, and I am not complaining.

"C'mon Bri!" I said dragging him but to be stopped by a voice behind me. A deep voice.

"By the way Marty, meet me in my room to meet the execs and sign all those needed to be signed." Kevin shouted. I thought I'm having alone time with Brian but no, I have to sign a couple of papers. There's nothing that I could but sigh.

"I'll come with you." Brian said with a weak smile. I smiled back and we followed Kevin to his room to get this over with. The door opened and three dressed in suits were chattering about something which I didn't understand and there's my 'bestfriend' Bill chatting with them as well. "Can we start this?" Kevin said disrupting the boring conversation they were having. They all looked at us and started to get lots of papers. God, this is gonna be long.

"So you're the one who got the job." The guy with the glasses asked. I just nodded shyly. What? I'm shy meeting new people. Bill just snorted and mumbled something but I got a few words. It was something about fucking someone. Now, that's cruel.

"Here are the papers you have to sign." He handed it to me and I started reading it. It was just a bunch of mumbo jumbo that I can't disclose any information about the band. Everything stays in the band. I signed it. Then, he handed me another bunch of papers. This time, it was my contract as the assistant sound engineer and then music director of the tour. It was okay, nothing wrong. So I signed it again.

"Is that it?" I asked them.

"Yes. But can we ask for a little background from you." The guy beside Bill asked. A little background from me?

"I'm Martin Johnson. I was born..." I started but was rudely interrupted by Bill's irritating voice.

"We know that already. Something else." Bill said smugly. God, he is really getting on my nerves.

"If you're thinking about my past record or any other information, call my lawyer. I have no time detailing my whole life." I said and took a card from my wallet and threw it at the table in front of them. The four looked at each other looking surprised. Why? Can't I have a lawyer?

"You have a lawyer?" Brian asked me from behind. I looked at him and nodded. There are really lots of things that he has to know.

"I'll tell you later." I whispered to him and averted my eyes back at the four persons in front of me. "Are we done?" I asked them and they nodded. We left the four to talk to my lawyer and everything.

"What are we gonna do now?" I asked Brian. Brian just shrugged. There's a problem with Brian. He's being too quiet today and he just kept on shrugging. "You tired?" I asked him. Brian just nodded so we walked to our room to lie down and rest.

I thought when we reached our room, everything would be different but it was still the same. Brian walked to the bathroom and did his thing and when he returned, he just stripped down to his boxers and went to bed. Strange. "Is there something wrong?" I asked him.

"Nothing. I'm gonna sleep okay?" And that was it. Our talk was closed and he did sleep, I think. I crept out of the room to ask the others what on earth was the problem with Brian. I knocked at Nick's door and entered the room. Nick's room was a disaster already. Clothes were almost everywhere and Nick was just sitting down on the floor with his eyes on the TV and hands on the controller of the Playstation 2. Typical Nick.

"Wanna play a game?" Nick asked without even looking at me. I chuckled at his intense concentration with the game. I was so tempted to play as well coz I really love playing video games as well, but Brian was more important.

"Maybe later. I wanna ask a question about Brian. He's acting a little strange." I said to him. Nick paused his game and sat beside me on the couch. "Do you know anything?" I asked him.

"No. I did see the change. He's too quiet. Scary." Nick voiced out. Scary? Now, I'm really nervous about the Brian situation. "Try flushing it out of him. He's kinda secretive these days." Nick added.

"I tried but he just shrugged it like it was no deal at all." I was starting to tear up. If this is tour life, I don't want this anymore. "I'm even doubting if he still loves me coz he shuts me out of his world." I said. I was sobbing already by that time and Nick was comforting me. Truthfully, I don't know what to do. Maybe it's me... does he still want me?

"Bri loves you very much. Touring isn't really the best thing he wants to do so just hang in there." Nick said as he embraced me tighter. Once I composed myself, I thanked him for the time and returned in our room. Brian was still asleep. I sat down on the chair beside and stared at Brian's sleeping form. I couldn't help to tear up again.

Everything seemed to be perfect already. We aren't apart anymore and we'll be working together til God knows when. Then, this happens. It's not that I'm blaming him or something but I just hate it coz I wanna see him smile and I couldn't do it. It seemed to be a long time that I sat there and just looked at him thinking of different scenarios in my mind and they worst of them was Brian not loving me anymore.

"Marty? Everything okay?" Brian's voice shook me out of my little fantasy world. Brian just woke up and was just looking at me trying to figure what was the problem.

"Everything is fine. Just zoned a little." I said with a smile but I know it was a pathetic attempt. Anyone could see that there was really something going on.

"Okay." Brian said. He believed me? I can't believe that. It was so obvious that I was lying and he actually said `okay'. And that hurts. It's like he even didn't care if I was really okay or something.

"I'm gonna go for a walk." I stated in a bit of a harsh tone. I know that it was bad of me to do that but I was so hurt with the `okay' thing. I wasn't a nobody for God's sake, I'm his boyfriend. I stood up and hurriedly walked out of the room leaving Brian still lying on the bed unaffected with everything.

I just walked and walked and walked. I think I was already walking in circles but I can't stay there for a while. I have to think about everything that happened to me. It's just my 2^nd day here in this tour and I thought that it was a great idea but now, I doubt it. When I noticed my surrounding next, I was in a sorta park. The perfect place to think. I sat at one of the benches there and started to envy the couples walking and being so loving to each other. That's what I want.

My phone began to ring. I took it out from my pocket but I don't who it was coz the caller ID was blocked or something. Still, I answered it.

"Hello?" I answered the phone. At first there was no one but I can hear the breathing of the person.

"Um, is this Martin?" the person asked. I could sense that he was a little distressed with his voice.

"Yes, who is this?" I asked the person but I suspected that it was my email buddy.

"Justin. You know `Juju'?" Justin said to me. I'm sure he just cried.

"Hey Justin. I know that you were having problems with your bf so spill it. Did you talk with him?" I asked him filled with concern. Even though it was the first time I talked with him, it seemed that we already know each other forever. It was like the same connection with Brian. Brian...

"Yeah we talked and he broke up with me." Justin was crying in hysterics now. Uh-oh. That's bad. "At first, it was fine. We were telling each other what was going on in our relationship and then..." His cries overcame his voice but I was patient so I let him compose himself to talk again with woos and coos. "He said that he thinks that he doesn't love me anymore." And the new cries came out.

"Oh Justin. I wish I can be with you right now." I said to him. Wait, I think that Brian and I need a little time to think as well. I know this is drastic coz I'm gonna have a new job and everything in this tour but if Brian would be this way, I don't care. "Justin, where are you? I'm gonna go there." I said to him. Justin informed me that he was in Orlando. Florida, I always wanted to go there. He gave me his number and I said my goodbyes to him and hung up.

I walked back to the hotel and when I reached our floor, I didn't go straight to Brian's room but Kevin's. I knocked a few and I entered. Kevin was talking on the phone about the tour or something. Kevin signaled me that it's gonna be for a minute and continued his little debate on the phone. Once finished, he sighed and faced me. "What's up?" Kevin said to me trying to be cheerful. It was a poor attempt.

"I'm leaving for awhile." I said nonchalantly. Kevin's eyes bulged out in surprise. "I know that I just got here and there are tons of things to do and I'm sorry if I'm gonna be strain in the tour but I have to meet a friend who's in distress and..." I thought if I should say it. "I have to think about my relationship with Brian." I said trying to control the pent up emotions that was running amok inside of me.

"Is there anything wrong with you and Brian?" Kevin asked curiously.

"Ask your cousin coz I'm tired of asking. I'll be back in a few days after I settle everything." I said and walked out of Kevin's room leaving Kevin rubbing his temples. I stopped by the door and looked back at Kevin. "Kev?" I said to him. "Please take care of him. I know he'll be in some sort of hell after I left and as much as I'm hurt right now, I still love him very much." I continued. Kevin just nodded to me and a burden was lifted from my shoulders coz I know that there's Kevin who would take care of him.

I walked to our room and just picked up a few of my bags there. I haven't unpacked yet so it was easy. I tried to move as quietly as possible but when I reached the door to leave, a voice stopped me at my tracks.

"You're leaving?" Brian asked. So, now you cared?

"Just for awhile. I'll be back in a few days." I said to him and left him there. After I closed the door, the tears were flowing down already. It was so painful leaving him there because I so dreamt of this and now, I have to leave for my sanity. I heard a shuffling inside the room and when the door opened, an out-of-breath Brian appeared.

"Why?" Brian asked. I just shrugged and walked away. I know what I did was cruel but I just have to do it for him to feel what I felt earlier. I could hear his whimpers and I almost ran to him and embrace him but we need this to think. The elevator opened and I pressed the button for the ground floor. When I gazed back at Brian, he was curled by the door crying already. The elevator door closed.

The tears began to flow out again as I remember the image of Brian lying at the floor. It was so painful leaving him there but if we want a relationship, we better think what we really want. I hope that I could really help Justin now that I have my own demons to face.

The plane ride was very much uneventful. Actually, everything seemed to be in a haze now that I couldn't remember most of the things that happened after I got out of the elevator of the hotel. "We are about to land in Orlando, Florida. Please fasten your seatbelts. Thank You." A voice from the speaker said. I buckled my seatbelt and waited for the plane to land and to meet Justin in the flesh.

"Paging Mr. Martin Johnson. You are wanted in the paging area." A voice boomed out as I stood there in the airport waiting for someone who I haven't even seen ever. And he hasn't seen me as well, so I guess it was the best solution. I walked to the paging area and waited for the woman at the desk finish her business.

"I'm Martin Johnson." I informed her. The woman looked at me and smiled warmly. She was still talking on the phone so she just pointed at a guy standing. I guess that was Justin. He was wearing a fisherman's cap and plain shirt and pants. He was facing the other way so I didn't see his face yet. I walked towards him and tapped him at the shoulder. "I assume that you're Justin?" I said to him with a warm smile.

At first, there was just silence. He didn't answer me but just looked at me intently like he was studying the structure of my face or something. "And I guess that makes you Marty." He said to me and I grinned at him. He was wearing a pair of eyeglasses as well, similar to the getup of the guys before. Wait, that means... another pop star. Just my luck.

"Yup. C'mon, let's go." I said and dragged him out of the airport. "How are we gonna get out of this dump?" I asked once we were outside of the airport. Justin just pointed a black Mercedes. Classy.

When we were already in the car, he removed his little disguise. And wow, was he hot! Justin was sporting a buzz cut and cute little goatee there. I was so tempted to run my hand through that goatee and feel it coz it looks so soft. Then, we started to talk about ourselves. Not like the ones in the chats or emails but really talk. I learned that he was from Tennessee and I was right, a pop star. He's from the group NSYNC. Another pop band that I have no idea that exists. I groaned.

"Why? You don't like our music or something?" Justin asked me curiously. If he only knew.

"I was just thinking that I'm meeting another person from a boyband. I work with the Backstreet Boys." I said to him nonchalantly. Justin almost hit the car beside us when I said Backstreet Boys. "What on earth is the matter with you?" I asked him as I regained my breath due to the close call we had there.

"Backstreet Boys, huh? Well, it was just a shocker there so no biggie." Justin said uncomfortably. Uh-oh, there's trouble. I guess I have to find the answers myself for this little thing. After a little more talking, we arrived in his house. It was one fine house. It's very big and very stylish. "Welcome to my humble abode!" Justin said with a huge grin plastered on his face. Humble? Yeah right.

We entered the house and if the front was a shock, look at the inside. It was really furnished well and from the looks of it, big bucks were spent here. Well, he's a pop star and everything, I think he could afford it. Justin toured me in his house and I really love his taste. It didn't look stiff and the furniture seemed to be part of the house itself giving it a very natural and comfortable look. Then, he showed me the room that I'll be staying and once I placed my bags there, we went down to the kitchen and we fixed food.

"So, what really happened?" I asked him. I wasn't gonna go behind the bushes and everything so I just did the blunt attack on the issue.

"Well, Josh, my... you know." He said with discomfort. "We talked and talked. I told him everything I felt during the past weeks and he said what he was feeling as well. It appeared that we seemed to be very dissatisfied with what's going on between us. He then suggested that we go in a break and think everything out. Then, we'll talk again if we're gonna be together again or not." Justin told me. "How `bout you? What's your story?" Justin asked me that took me by surprise. "C'mon! I know you have a problem also. Spill!" Justin said.

I sighed and began my story. "Well, to make the story short. I left my boyfriend coz he's becoming a pain in the ass. He was so insensitive and like I wasn't his boyfriend." I said to not disclose and information about Brian's sexuality and everything. "I just thought that we need a lot of thinking if want this relationship to work." I said with a sigh.

"Let's just forget about our boyfriends and have some fun." Justin suggested that I totally liked and agreed with.

EMAIL ME!!! pseud0nym@edsamail.com.ph