Date: Tue, 30 Nov 1999 05:27:55 PST From: Jason Clarke Subject: Ryan and Lance - Part 11 This story involves members of the bands NSYNC. I am in no way implying anything about the sexuality of any of their members. This is purely a fictional story. Enjoy! Please send any comments and/or suggestions to jaclarke@hotmail.com (ICQ #7964029) * * * * * * * * * * * * Ryan and Lance - Part 11 Lance waited for JC to say something, but he was only greeted with silence. Turning around, he found JC sitting beside him on the bed, his arms around his shoulders. "It's okay, Lance." "You're not mad?" "Mad? Why would I be?" "'Cause I'm..." "Because you're gay?" Lance nodded sadly. He looked up to see JC smiling at him. "You're still the same Lance that we've always known. The same kind, loving, caring, shy blond-haired singer that we met not too long ago. Nothing has changed." JC's words were comforting to Lance. He expected much worse and JC's reaction was a pleasant surprise. "You're not going to tell the others, are you?" There was a sense of uncertainty in the younger boy's voice. "Not until you are ready to tell them...and even then, I'll just be there to support you." "Thanks, JC." "No problem." "What would I do without you?" Lance smiled. "I should ask the same question. I mean, who else can feed us so well?" JC said jokingly, to which Lance responded to a soft chuckle. "Let's head back downstairs, before they come looking for us." As JC and Lance headed downstairs, the blond singer felt like a heavy weight was lifted off of him. JC had accepted Lance and perhaps getting the others to accept him would not be as difficult as he first thought. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * After everyone left for the evening, Ryan returned to his homework while Lance returned to his paperwork. They were both exhausted but they knew they had to finish their work before they could go to bed. Glancing up at Lance who appeared deep in thought, Ryan smiled, his eyes lost in the singer's angelic face. Lance looked up from his papers and noticed Ryan's smile. "And what's making you so happy tonight?" Lance asked innocently. "Oh, a bit of everything. So how does a singing group consisting of five guys end up with this huge pile of paperwork to be done anyways?" Lance chuckled at Ryan's question. "Well, this pile here is for the group. And that pile there is actually for school." "School?" "Oh, did I forget to tell you that I'm still in school?" "Yeah, must have slipped your mind," Ryan smirked. "So what are you studying?" "Business management, probably majoring in finance or something. Haven't decided yet." "Interesting...so you are Mr. Intellectual after all." Lance laughed. "Oh cut it out. Quit using all these nicknames that Justin's giving me. First there was Poofu, then Scoop, now Mr. Intellectual...what's he gonna think of next?" "Mr. Cute, Hot, Sexy, Gorgeous..." Ryan thought to himself. He couldn't help but laugh a little at his growing infatuation with Lance. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * "You ready, Lance?" Ryan called out as he finished styling his hair. He was looking forward to tonight. Scottie was over at a friend's house and he was going to spend the night with the rest of the guys, celebrating Justin's first commercial deal. Justin had been talking about it the last little while and he was really excited at signing the deal. Everyone was as excited as him and decided to use this opportunity to have a little get-together. "Give me fifteen minutes," Lance called out from the washroom. "My hair's not listening to me right now." Ryan laughed to himself imagining what Lance's hair must look like at this moment. "I'm gonna go and pick up something from the grocery store and I'll be back," he called to Lance. "Okay, the car keys are on my desk," Lance answered. Ryan grabbed the keys and drove off to the grocery store to pick up some milk and butter since Lance had somehow forgotten to get them the last time he went grocery shopping (very uncharacteristic, but Lance is human too...). The doorbell rang and Lance was still in the washroom. "There, I'm finally presentable," Lance smiled as he looked in the mirror. The doorbell rang again. "Coming!" Lance called out as he ran down the stairs. "That was a quick trip to the store," he said to himself. Lance opened the door and was very surprised to find Eric standing there. "Eric...what are you doing here?" Lance asked half-shocked and half-angry. Eric always showed up at the worst times and worst places. "Can we talk?" "There's nothing to talk about. We're finished, Eric!" "Please, I just want to talk with you for a bit. I won't take up much of your time." Eric sounded sincere, and desperate. Lance's heart and will softened and he sighed. "Okay, but make this quick. I have to leave soon." Smiling and relieved, Eric made his way into the living room. "Lance, I just want to apologize for what I've put you through." "Let's not talk about that anymore, Eric. It's all in the past." Lance lied. He remembered clearly the events of that night when he caught Eric in bed with the other guys. He remembered exactly the words that Eric said to him that night. "I want to make it up to you, Lance. Please, give me another chance." "Eric, sometimes there isn't a second chance for some things. I've moved on...and so should you." Somewhere in Lance's mind, he wanted to give Eric a second chance, but he couldn't forget that night and he didn't want to get hurt again. "Please, Lance. I'm so sorry..." Eric placed a hand on Lance's thighs. Lance felt a little uncomfortable but didn't say anything. "Eric, I'd still like to be friends with you, but that's all we can be." "No, that can't be true," Eric argued. "You still love me, Lance, you do. I know you do!!" Eric's hand moved towards Lance's crotch. The blond singer was really uncomfortable now. He tried to move away but Eric pulled him close and started to kiss him. "What are you doing, Eric?" Lance said while trying to push Eric off of him. "Get away from me!!" "Lance, I love you!! And I know you love me." Eric threw himself onto Lance and started to kiss him all over. "GET OFF OF ME!!!" Lance struggled to free himself but Eric was too strong for him. "Yes, you love me. You love this, don't you?" Eric started to undress Lance and his hands roamed all over the blond's smooth body. Lance tried to resist but it was useless. He couldn't fight Eric...he laid there, helpless to defend himself, tears streaming down his face. "Why, Eric, why?" he whispered. For the next ten minutes, Eric had his way with Lance. He dehumanized him, treating him as a mere sexual object. Lance had given up trying to defend himself...it was a hopeless situation. Eric got up and dressed himself. He looked at Lance's body lying on the floor and could hear the quiet sobbing coming from him. "Oh my god, what have I done?" Eric said to himself. "No!! Lance, I'm so sorry!!! I...I...don't know what came over me..." The realization of what he had just done brought panic to Eric. "GET OUT, YOU FUCKING BASTARD!!! GET OUT!!!" Lance screamed hysterically. Frightened by what he has just done, Eric ran out of the house, got into his car, and drove off quickly. As he pulled out of the driveway, Ryan was driving back from his trip to the grocery store. "Hmmm...who could be visiting at this time?" Ryan wondered. He parked the car, grabbed the groceries and headed to the door. This was when he noticed that the door was slightly open. He walked inside cautiously. "Lance?" No answer. He peeked into the living room and it was a mess. Ryan's heart began pounding and sweat began to form. "Lance?" he called out again. Again, no answer. He walked into the living room and that's when he saw. Curled up in a corner, his hair messed up, his clothes half torn, was Lance with his face buried in his hands. Ryan dropped everything and ran up to Lance. "What happened?" He was concerned and angry. "Who could have done this?" he wondered. There was no answer from Lance. The singer threw his arms around Ryan and sobbed the most painful sobs that Ryan ever heard. The agony, the fear, and the pain formed a chilling combination. Lance was crying so hard that he began to tremble. All Ryan could do was hold on to Lance and let him know that he was there for him. It wasn't for another ten minutes until Lance finally got his sobs under control. "He was here..." he finally said. "Who?" Lance didn't answer. He wanted to tell Ryan but he just couldn't get the word out of his mouth. Suddenly, Ryan recalled the image of the person driving off in the car. He looked familiar. "OH NO!! Eric????" The mention of Eric's name sent Lance into sobs again. "What did he do to you???" Ryan yelled. He was surprised at his own fury. "He...he...r...r...ra..." Lance stopped. He couldn't continue. He couldn't say it. Ryan let go of Lance as he slowly realized what he was trying to say. "No...he couldn't..." Lance's face was one marked by agony. Ryan could not look at Lance without feeling the urge to cry along with Lance. "He...ra...raped me...THE FUCKING BASTARD RAPED ME!!!!!!" "No..." was all Ryan managed to say. His eyes started to blur, and he felt dizzy. "NO!!!" he said louder. He hugged Lance as tightly as he could. "No..." as his voice trailed off. "I'm so sorry, Lance, I'm so sorry!!!" he cried. Lance's only answer was more intense sobbing. "If only I didn't go to the grocery shop..." Ryan could not believe that he was an indirect cause of Lance's ordeal. "I'm so sorry, Lance!!! I'll never forgive myself for this," Ryan cried as he spoke. "Stop beating up on yourself, Ryan," Lance finally said. "It's not your fault...I let him in...it's my fault..." "No, stop blaming yourself!! You are not to blame for any of this!!" "Neither are you...it's all Eric's fault!!! That bastard..." Ryan helped Lance up to his room and put him in bed. Lance couldn't sleep, he couldn't even bear to close his eyes. But he knew that Ryan would keep beating up on himself if he stayed in his current condition, so he tried his best to pretend to fall asleep. After Ryan was convinced that Lance was peacefully sleeping, he quietly exited the room and picked up the phone in his room. He took a deep breath and dialed JC's cell phone number. "Hello?" "JC?" Ryan said, trying not to cry as he spoke. "Ryan? What's wrong?" Ryan sniffled and tried to regain some sense of control. "I'm afraid Lance and I won't be able to make it tonight. I'm so sorry..." "Why? Is something wrong?" JC sounded concerned, not angry. "Have you been crying?" "Damn, Ryan, control your emotions!!" he scolded himself. "Something just happened and well, Lance just fell asleep..." "What happened, Ryan? Is Lance alright??" "Well, yes and no. But right now he seems to have calmed down a bit. He should be okay...he just needs some rest." "Well, okay. Don't worry about Justin, we can always do this another time. Keep an eye on Lance and you take care of yourself too." JC sounded so comforting over the phone. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * It was 3am and Ryan still could not fall asleep. "How could I have let this happen?" he kept asking himself. "Lance...I'm so sorry..." he kept whispering to himself. Finally, he decided to go downstairs to get a glass of milk and hopefully go to sleep after that. As he walked down the stairs, he could hear soft sobbing coming from the living room. Walking in, he could see Lance's shadow in the corner. He walked up to Lance and sat down beside him, placing his arm on the singer's shoulders. "You alright, Lance?" Ryan knew it was a stupid question. Of course he wasn't alright. What kind of a question was that? "Thanks, Ryan," Lance whispered. "For what?" "For being here." "You're my friend, Lance. I'll always be here for you. So will the rest of the guys." "I wish I could be as sure as you are," Lance replied, looking away. "What do you mean? They'll never abandon you, Lance. They care about you." "You think they'll still care once they find out I'm gay...and that I've been r...ra...raped???" Lance blurted out. For the first time, the thought of the rest of the group's rejection of Lance occurred to Ryan. "No, they wouldn't turn their back on Lance. They love him too much..." he thought to himself. "You've got to tell them, Lance. Let them help you." Lance remained silent. "I already told JC about me being gay." "And?" "He was really supportive. He said he'll stick by me through it all." "See? They'll support you. Now you've got one down and three to go." "You make it sound so easy..." "You've already taken the first step...and you have JC in your corner." "I guess so..." * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Lance arrived at the studio for the meeting thirty minutes early. He had thought about what Ryan said and decided that it was time to let them know. For the whole night, he thought about how to reveal the truth to them. He decided that it was best to let them know one at a time. Seeing how JC reacted to Lance's news, he decided that it was best to begin with Justin. Lance walked into the studio and it was empty. He walked back into the hallway and he saw Justin sitting in another room studying some sheet music. He took a deep breath and knocked gently on the door. Justin looked up from his music. "Hey Scoop! Are you alright? I mean, last night..." "Justin, I need to talk to you..." ...to be continued.... Hope you enjoyed this segment. Let me know what you think!! As always, I'd love to hear any comments/ideas/questions. Please e-mail me at jaclarke@hotmail.com (ICQ #7964029)