Date: Wed, 19 Jan 2000 19:57:49 CST From: Matt Hunter Subject: Search and Rescue 14 This is part fourteen of my continuing story. First off, let me start by saying DLS and myself appreciate everyone's patience. It's been pretty hectic with the holidays, and I've had a few personal crises in the last few days, but I hope the stories are worth the wait. I do, as always, want to thank everyone who takes the time to let me know how I'm doing. The feedback is informative and encouraging, and I hope the story reflects the improvement every one of you makes in my writing. So many of you have become very special to me, never failing to say a kind word and a "hello," and for that I thank you. For those of you who also share with us your own writing talents, I thank you for that too. Without further ado, let me thank in no particular order (really, I'm rambling off the top of my head) : Tonny, Chas, Matt (VP), Matty, Drew, Denny, JB (though he hates when I call him that :), Jason, Scotty, Kev, Yuli (the irrepressible "Busta" him/herself), Firesong, Clive, Tim, EG, and Rachel. Some new people have also graced me with their presence, so thanks to Catie, Crunkoid, Casie, Beckie, Seth, and Meri, whose 'N SYNC site (http://www.crosswinds.net/~meri/nsync.html) is fantastic. A special word of appreciation goes to one of my favorite ladies, Lauren. She's been there from the beginning, and I couldn't have done it without her support. Anybody I've forgotten can shoot me later. Right now I need to get a story posted :) As customary, I save one of the best for last--DLS--he's one of my very best friends in addition to being my coconspirator. This time, I can blame "some" of the delay on him--I mean who takes vacations at Christmas and New Year's :) We have an absolute ball in whatever we do, even if it's just talking to each other through e-mail. I hope some of the fun we have together comes through in our stories so that you can be a part of it as well. Lastly, the obligatory disclaimer: This story is sexually-explicit, involving homosexuality. If this offends you, boy, did you take a wrong turn at Albequerque. If you're breaking laws, damn, ain't Amish country a drag. If you're underage, well, I won't take responsibility for contributing to the delinquency of a minor, so corrupt your own mind. Nobody's gonna take responsibility if you do continue. This story is a complete work of fiction and is not meant to imply anything with regards to the sexual preferences of any members of 'N SYNC or the Backstreet Boys. Events making reference to any person or place herein are also fictitious. "SEARCH AND RESCUE" I was awakened at some point during the night by some cars passing by the house. Getting my bearings, I realized that JC had carried me to bed. He was lying face down next to me with his arm across my chest. I managed to slip from his grasp without waking him, so I leaned over to kiss the nape of his neck. I smiled when he didn't stir. Noticing that dawn was near, I decided to go ahead and get up. I put a pot of coffee on before checking the doorstep for the newspaper. I thumbed through it to check some stocks, but my mind started reeling. I set the paper on the table and stared at the first light of day streaming through the window. "You okay?" I heard a voice ask. I immediately identified it as Kevin's. "I didn't hear you come in," I pointed out without turning around. "I kinda noticed," he smiled, taking the chair next to me. He was wearing the same pajama bottoms as yesterday morning and rubbing his upper arms. "Cold?" I asked. "A little," he smiled. I couldn't help but chuckle. "Well, you wouldn't be if you'd stop giving away your clothes--not that I'm complaining, mind you." His cheeks began to redden. I bit my tongue to keep from laughing. "I meant I got a shirt out of the deal." He started to blush further. "Not that I don't think you're cute . . . ." Every word out of my mouth seemed to make it worse, so I suggested that we change the subject. "I'm begging you," he pouted. "I'm not even going to go there," I laughed, patting his shoulders as I stood. I poured us both a cup of coffee before returning to my seat. "So why were you up so early?" "A lot on my mind, I guess," he answered nonchalantly. I poured some creamer into my cup and motioned for his, but he shook his head. I looked in his eyes and smiled. "I appreciate your concern." He nodded almost bashfully. "I can't help it. Even though we only met recently, you're like my brother-in-law or something." "I know what you mean," I smiled. As the moment grew too serious, I squeezed his leg. "So what do you want to do today?" "I don't know," he confessed. "We'll figure it out when everyone else gets up." "Speaking of getting someone up," I grinned, "I need to go check on JC. Why don't you go back to bed? It'll be hours before you need to even think about getting up." He gave me a half-smile and nodded as he stood. He seemed uncertain for a moment, so I smiled and thanked him. "For what?" he asked. "For being you," I smiled again as I hugged him. His face flushed ever further as he started for the bedroom. I turned the coffee pot off and headed for my bedroom. Peeling off my T-shirt, I laid down behind JC. I rested my head on his shoulder blades and intertwined his legs with my own. I kissed his back and pulled the covers up around us before falling back to sleep. When I awoke, I opened my eyes to Josh's sunlit face. He had his head propped up on one arm and was just watching me sleep. "Morning," I yawned. "Morning," he echoed. "Sleep well?" "Yeah, I did," I stretched. As soon as the words left my mouth, I started thinking about the phone call from David. My thoughts apparently betrayed me, because JC's gaze was unrelenting. He knew I was holding back something, and it suddenly became very evident how many times I had done that of late. Some colloquial statement about relationships being built on trust popped in my head, and I realized that I wasn't being fair to JC. I tried to smile, but I wasn't able. At that moment, everything overwhelmed me, and I started sobbing uncontrollably. JC cradled me in his arms and shushed me. He told me that he had figured out what the phone call was about. He rocked me back and forth, and I was too exhausted to do anything but cling to him. He softly stroked my hair and let me weep, which was what I needed to do. When I regained some semblance of composure, he used his index finger to push my chin up. I stared into those blue eyes, and when he said everything was going to be all right, I believed him. He kissed me gently on the forehead. "You . . . ," he began, but quickly corrected himself, "*We* will get through this." I smiled up at him, and as a thought emerged, I stood from the bed and went to my dresser. JC looked at me curiously as I pulled out my jewelry box. I fished through it for a moment before withdrawing a small medallion hanging from a chain. I studied it reminiscently before showing it to him. "What is it?" he finally asked. I brought it to him for closer inspection. Obviously, his Catholic upbringing was complete, because he recognized it immediately. "St. Jude?" he asked. I tried to smile. "I got it when I was hospitalized before. It was my good luck charm, often the only stabilizing force in my life at the time." He nodded in understanding, but his comprehension gave way to confusion when I began to fasten to chain around his neck. "What are you doing?" "I don't need luck or some outside anchor this time. I have you," I was able to smile without reservation. A tear welled in his eye, and as I leaned around his neck to check the clasp, he kissed me on the cheek. "I'll wear it always," he sniffed. I smiled and ran my finger down his chest to where the medallion hung far beneath the neckline of any shirts I had ever seen him wear. It seemed somehow more precious to me that most people would never see it. It was something just between the two of us. He reached for the zodiac necklace he always wore and began to remove it. "Don't," I told him simply. "That one's for you, the other's for me." He smiled and shook his head. "No, you're for me," he said as he leaned in to kiss me. I thought the mood was going to become romantic, but a knock on the door changed all that. "Guys?" I heard a voice whisper. I smiled at JC and sat on the bed. "Come in, Kevin." He poked his head in timidly. "Everything all right in here?" I squeezed JC's hand and smiled at Kevin. "Everything's great." Kevin seemed perplexed, so I added, "I told him a few minutes ago." "You did?" "I did, but thanks for not saying anything until I was ready." Kevin smiled meekly, "I just wish I could do more." I stood and walked to him and gave him a hug. "You're doing more than enough." "Hey," JC laughed, "I've heard what you're like around other people's boyfriends early in the morning, so back off." Kevin went crimson again, and I was suddenly very aware of the fact that I was clad only in boxers. Sensing this, he started backing out of the room. "I just came in here to tell you breakfast is on the table, so whenever you're ready to eat, . . . ." Kevin's voice trailed off as he shut the door behind him. I frowned at JC. "That was mean." "Uh-huh," he nodded. "But I wanted you to myself." "Oh, really, Mr. Chasez? And what exactly did you want me for?" I teased. He rolled his eyes at my sarcastic tone. "Never mind. Suddenly wild monkey love isn't so appealing." I straddled his arms with my knees and leaned down to kiss him. "I'll show you just how appealing it can be," I smiled. A malicious grin crossed his face. "Sweetie, if what's poking out of your boxers onto my chest isn't showing me, a kiss ain't gonna make a difference." I blushed as the romance of the moment went the way of the dodo bird. I smacked his forehead with the back of my hand. "You really know how to kill a mood. You know that?" He craned his neck forward and kissed my knee. "Give me a chance to make it up to you," he smiled. "Oh, no, Cassanova," I waved my finger in front of his face. "It's not gonna be that easy, not by a long shot." His infectious grin appeared again. "I'm sure I'm up to the challenge." I had to smile at that one, my resolve to be serious utterly gone. I reached back and patted his crotch with my hand. "I guess you are at that." I rolled off of him and off of the bed, springing to my feet before I hit the ground. "Let's go eat. You're gonna need your strength later." He rolled his eyes at me as I threw him a pair of pants. "Promises, promises," he sighed. I slid on a pair of jeans, JC's to be exact since all of mine were in the hamper. I threw on a sleeveless muscle-shirt and turned to see how he was faring. He was taking his time pulling on his shoes. Bored, I went over and pulled him to his feet in front of me. I fastened the fly on his jeans and pulled a football jersey over his head. As I did, I could hear him singing or humming something too low to hear. He smiled when he realized I hadn't identified the tune. He ran past me as he escalated the volume. I had to stifle a laugh when I realized it was that old song from the 80's called "Hey, Cassanova." I pushed his back and led him towards the dining room. Kathy was already seated at the table, and Kevin was massaging her shoulders, staring off absentmindedly into space. A pat on the shoulder brought him back to reality, and he turned his head towards me and smiled. I looked at him with uncertainty, wondering what was on his mind, but he just shook his head and sat down. "I'll get Nate and Brian in a minute," he said. "I heard them moving around a bit earlier, but I wanted to give them a few minutes." I nodded and looked at Kathy, who was staring a hole into me. "What?" I asked. "What is it you three aren't telling me?" she squinted. 'Busted,' I thought to myself. "David called last night," I answered honestly, "and the preliminary report says it's back." She took the napkin from her lap and threw it on the table. She immediately came over and hugged my neck. "Matt, I'm so sorry." I patted her arm with my hand and tried to get her to stop crying. "It's okay," I told her, surprised at my own words. "*I'm* okay," I corrected. "Or I will be, so there's no sense in dwelling on it." JC leaned his head between my shoulder blades, and I could feel a tear running down the back of my shirt. I spun around and pulled his face up to mine and kissed him on the cheek. "Really," I told him and everyone, "I have a good feeling about things this time, and that's the last time I want to talk about it right now." Kathy's eyes were getting a little misty, but she just bit her lower lip and smiled. Kevin nodded to me as he put his arm around her shoulder. I smiled at the two of them. "Kevin, will you do me a favor, though?" "Name it," he answered without hesitation. "Can you tell Nate and Brian? I want them to know, but I don't think I have it in me to tell anybody else today. I still have to figure out how I'm going to tell the girls." "Absolutely," he agreed solemnly. He left to get them for breakfast while I hopped on my computer to check my e-mail. JC walked over and massaged my shoulders while I muddled through the inbox. I froze when I got to the name--I always did. He reached over my shoulder and placed his hand atop mine on the mouse. "Do you want me to delete it?" he asked. "No," I answered silently, shaking my head. Kathy noticed this, because she was looking at me with evident concern. "It's okay," I said aloud to both of them, finally mustering the resolve to open the letter. 'Dear son, I have no idea if you'll get this e-mail. I have no idea if you get any of them. Since you won't speak to me, I can't really ask. That's not to say I blame you, because God knows I have no right to ask, much less expect, anything of anyone, least of all you. I'd like to see you again, or at least hear your voice. You name the time and place. I've been a horrible father and a lousy grandfather, but I would like to change that, if you'll only let me. There are some things that need to be said. Please, son.' I sat silently deliberating when I realized that Josh's hand had never left my own. I turned towards him and kissed his chin. I pressed the button beneath my fingertips and watched the first words I'd allowed my father to say to me in almost nine years vanish from the screen. JC and Kathy were looking at me with worry. I just gave a half-smile and shook my head. "Not yet. Maybe someday, but not now." Kathy just looked at me with sympathy before disappearing into the kitchen. I grabbed JC's hand and brought him around to my lap. I typed an address into the browser and began entering the passwords rapidly. I clicked on the "pathology" button and made my way through the maze of archaic programming. I punched in the name, and the results appeared before me. "Beta-HCG Positive" "Does that mean what I think it means?" JC asked me. "Yeah," I nodded. "Can you give us a few minutes and make sure you-know-who doesn't find his way into the middle of this discussion yet?" He shook his head in affirmation and sprang from the seat. Kathy went back into the dining room with a pitcher. "Kathy, hon, can you come here for a second?" "What's up?" she smiled, standing next to me. I turned the monitor to face her. "How come you didn't tell me?" I asked. Her face contorted in a mixture of emotions. "Bastard," she mumbled. "Perhaps," I smirked, "but the question remains." "Because I don't know what I want to do about it," she huffed. "You're not . . . ," I began. "No," she cut in immediately. "I just don't know what to do about Kev." "Speaking as someone who's been on his side of the fence," I reminded, "I think he has a right to know." She cut me a harsh look. "Of course he does, and I will tell him. It's just a matter of timing." She dropped onto the couch. "I want him to have a chance at happiness with Carrie." I cocked my head. "I think that's very admirable, but don't you think that should be his decision?" "Probably, but I'll pick my own time and place. Now is neither." I hung my head and raised my hands in defeat. Our timing couldn't have been better, because I could hear JC asking Kevin what he wanted to drink, rather loudly. I smiled to myself as JC poked his head around the corner to make sure it was safe to come in. I nodded, but it was pretty much in vain as Kevin, Brian, and Nate all about trampled him when he stopped in his tracks. Everyone was sitting around the table eating in relative silence, and I knew I was the reason. If I saw that look of pity in Brian's eyes one more time, I was going to scream. Nate, true to form, wasn't betraying his emotions so easily. From the way he looked at me, I knew I was at the forefront of his thoughts, but that was about all I could tell. Whatever he was feeling was a mystery to me. Kevin was trying his damnedest not to act like anything was wrong, but he was overcompensating. As such, the situation spiraled further and further into awkwardness. 'Enough of this,' I thought to myself. "Okay, Nate," I announced with a suddenness that seemed to startle everyone. "What one thing would you like to see or do while you're in Memphis?" The perplexed look on his face almost brought me to laughter. "Um, I guess when I think about Memphis, I think about Elvis, so I'd kind of like to see his house." "Have you ever seen it?" I asked Brian and Kevin. They both shook their heads. "Graceland, it is." I said as I got up to get the portable phone. "Matt," Kathy tried to stop me, "have you ever seen the crowds there, this time of year especially?" I just smiled and ignored her. "Michelle Montrose, please," I told the voice answering the phone. Everyone was looking at me like I was speaking in tongues. I sat and waited patiently while they brought her to the phone. "Who's Michelle?" Brian asked. "Cathy's daughter," I answered. "You have a daughter?" Brian exclaimed. "No," Kathy rolled her eyes, but I saw the recognition in her eyes when she said it. She shook it off and explained. "Cathy is the ward clerk in the emergency room at the hospital, and her daughter used to baby-sit the girls from time to time." "Michelle, hi, it's Matt," I began, pausing while she spoke. "Tell her not to worry," I smiled. "Listen, I need a huge favor. I've got some friends in town who'd like to take the tour, but privacy might be an issue." A smile crossed my lips, and I thought Kathy was going to hit me if I didn't tell her what put it there, and soon. "Thanks, we'll see you then." "Well?" JC prodded. "She said it wasn't a problem. She'll have a private bus behind the ticket office that will drive us up to the house and no tours will come through until we leave." Kevin looked confused, so I patted him on the shoulder. "She's been the tour supervisor for almost a year now." He nodded in halfhearted understanding. "She said the bus will be waiting there in a little over two hours, so we ought to get cleaned up." Nate nodded in acknowledgment and led Brian towards the back of the house. "Awfully connected, aren't we?" JC smiled. "I guess," I chuckled. "Michelle and I are the same age. We were in grade school together before I left Memphis, and then I went to work with Cathy after getting out of college." JC sat in my lap and nibbled on my earlobe. "Old girlfriend?" he managed, almost out of breath. "Yeah," I grinned. "She stole my heart when she stole my lunch money." "So you do like it rough?" he laughed. "Oh, for God's sake, somebody turn on the hoses," Kathy hollered. I had honestly gotten so caught up in the moment that I'd forgotten she and Kevin were still in the room. "The rubber hose treatment, too?" JC asked with a gleam in his eye. "This just keeps getting better and better." I looked at him for a minute before pushing him off of my lap and into the floor. He looked up at me, stunned. I stuck out my bottom lip and pouted. "You do know how to kill a mood." He stood up and rubbed his butt. "You're not exactly inspiring sonnets here yourself," he smirked. "Aw, come here so I can kiss it and make it better," I teased. Those impossibly white teeth emerged again. "Oh, hell no," Kathy interjected again. "I'm definitely not staying in here and watching this." Kevin just laughed. "It honestly isn't bothering me that much, but I know if I stay in here, it's going to be used against me later, so come on." With that, he grabbed Kathy's hand, and they headed back for the bedrooms. After we were sure they had gone, JC just gazed into my eyes. "What?" I asked. "Do you have any idea how much I love you?" he smiled. I leaned forward and kissed him. "Almost as much as I love you," I answered. He took me by the hand and led me to the couch. He pulled me atop him when he fell onto the cushions. He kissed me again as his fingers worked their way under my shirt. Softly caressing my skin, he sent chills up and down my spine. Hearing a snicker, I looked over to see Brian toweling his hair dry. "And what, pray tell, is so funny?" I inquired in my most sarcastic tone. "Kevin was getting in the shower behind me, if you wanted to join him," he giggled. "Don't you have a boyfriend to pester?" JC smirked. "Yes, he does," Nate answered for him as he emerged from the hallway, his shoes and socks in his hand. "And believe me, he's a pest." Brian plopped down in front of him and leaned against him. "I don't remember you complaining before," he smiled. "You probably haven't been listening," I smiled. Nate agreed, sharing, perhaps too much, that Brian had other things on his mind than conversation. Brian planted his teeth into Nate's kneecap. "If it ain't broke, don't fix it," Brian smiled. Nate started laughing. "Well, from what I can tell, it sure ain't broke." JC shook his head like he was shaking off a bad dream. "On that note," he emphasized, grabbing my hand and yanking me to my feet, "we'll go get ready." Josh and I walked down the hallway, and he turned into the first bathroom, telling me he'd see me in a few minutes. I guess the confused expression on my face amused him, because he laughed. "Oh, did you want to join me? I figured Kevin . . . ." I thumped him on the forehead, earning a yelp for my efforts. "What was that for?" he pouted. "Take a wild guess, 'Brian,'" I told him sarcastically. "Come here, you," he smiled, pulling me into the bathroom and shutting the door behind us. He began kissing my neck as I peeled the clothes off of our bodies. "How much time do we have?" he panted between kisses. "Not enough," I whispered as I pulled away from him to turn on the water. His shoulders slouched, and his face fell. I walked over to him and tugged on his bottom lip with my teeth. I used the back of my fingers to caress his inner thighs. I was having the desired effect, because the hair on his neck wasn't the only thing standing at attention. "I'll make it up to you later," I cooed as I turned towards the steam. "Promises, promises," he smiled, stepping in behind me and placing his body flush against mine. He wrapped his arms around my waist and rested his cheek against my spine. "You can take that one to the bank," I laughed, dropping my head into the spray of water. "Ooh," he smiled, "I've never done it in a bank before. Come to think of it, I've never done it in any public place before." "I'd hope not," I laughed again, letting my head fall back so he could rub the shampoo into my hair. "Maybe we can play cops and robbers later," I chuckled. He reached between my legs and gently grabbed me. "Nobody move, this is a stickup." "Not yet," I smiled, "but keep it up, and it will be." He kissed the back of my neck. "Keeping it up was exactly what I had in mind." I leaned my head back against his as his hands spread lather all over my body. He ran his fingers through the hair on my chest, massaging the pectoral muscles he found there. He spread his fingers and kneaded them into my abdomen. I closed my eyes and gasped as he wrapped his hands around my inner thighs. Abruptly, he grabbed my waist and spun us in a completely circle. "My turn!" he announced. I shot him a menacing look. "What?" he cried innocently. "You're the one who said we didn't have time." I gave him a knowing smile and turned him to face the water. Rubbing the soap into the washcloth, I squeezed out the excess water over his shoulder as I ran my tongue behind his ear. The water trailed beneath his shoulder blades and down his back until it cascaded over his backside. After painting his body with the cloth, I used my fingers to brush out the excess shampoo and push his head under the water. He turned to face me, tossing his head back to get the hair out of his eyes. He reached behind him to end the shower stream and smiled, "I guess we should finish getting ready." "I wish we didn't have to go out today," I confessed. "I don't know how much readier I can get." "Later," he grinned, grabbing the towel from the rack. It was an oversized towel, and he wrapped it around both of our waists, pulling me close against him. He planted his lips on mine with urgency before tearing away from me with "I promise." We stepped out of the shower, and he spun me around. He brought the towel over my head and damp-dried my hair. He pushed the water droplets off of my skin and handed me the towel so that I could do the same for him. After finishing, I grabbed the hairdryer and pulled him in front of me, quickly blowing the warm air into his face. "Wha . . . ?" he muttered, trying to block the wind with his hands. "Can't have my man going out with hair like that," I chuckled. He hung his head in defeat and let me finish with a smile. I grabbed my brush and some styling gel and proceeded to put every hair in place. "Perfect," I smiled. He looked in the mirror for confirmation. "Most of our stylists don't get it to look that good," he admitted. "Either they don't have the attention to detail," I began, "or the subject matter isn't as important to them as it is to me--AND IT BETTER NOT BE!" He laughed and pulled my robe around me. He grabbed the towel from the countertop and wrapped it around him before leading me by the hand to the bedroom. He tore the damp cloth away from him before sitting on the bed. I proceeded to rummage through the closet, looking for something for us to wear. When I pulled out a shirt to ask him for his opinion, I saw him sitting on the bed naked, which was a sight I hardly found unappealing, but he had a strange look on his face. "What?" I wondered aloud. He gave me a half-smile with a facial expression I couldn't identify. "Just admiring you." I set the shirt on my pillow and pushed my robe into the floor. I straddled his hips and kissed his forehead. "You not such a bad thing to behold yourself," I smiled. He looked at me seriously. "You know what I mean," he scolded. "You just seem so . . . I don't know . . . happy, for lack of a better word." "Why shouldn't I be?" I asked, before thinking better of my phrasing. "I'm in love," I smiled. "I have two beautiful children, and my best friend in the world is now pregnant with her own. I'm surrounded by good friends who care about me and support me, and I'm confident that I'm going to be fine." He hugged me tightly, a tear streaking from his cheek to my chest. "I hope so," he sniffed. I steadied my leg onto the carpet and stood up, pulling him to me. "You better pick out something to wear." He smiled and reached in the closet to pick out a shirt that was almost as hideous as Brian's. I smiled as a tear dripped off of my nose. I knew he was wondering why I had such an amalgamation of atrocities. Unaware that I had gotten misty all of the sudden, I saw the concern in his eyes and realized what was happening. "My mother and Ashley made it for me," I explained. He nodded, trying not to press me to continue. "Ashley had picked out the materials--all of them," I laughed, "and my mother sewed them together." "I'm sorry," he said somberly, placing the shirt back on the hanger. "Don't be," I smiled. "The sentiment behind it is what's kept it in my house this long, but neither one of us is wearing that unsightly thing out of this room, much less out of this house." He started laughing, the tension in the room overcome for the moment. I grabbed him a shirt and a pair of shorts and the same for me. I pulled the T-shirt down my chest and slipped into the shorts. Josh already had his shorts on and was pulling his sandals over his heels. He slipped the shirt over his shoulders, leaving it unbuttoned, and handed me my tennis shoes. He leaned over and kissed me quickly on the cheek before starting for the living room. "What are you two whispering about?" we heard Kevin ask, obviously directing the question towards Brian and Nate since we hadn't made it into the room. "Nothing," came their reply, and the look we saw on their faces told us anything but. Josh was laughing, "Yeah, right." Nate explained that it was something involving their vacation plans for next week. I smiled but got lost in the moment when I thought how much I was going to hate to see them all go. Nate grabbed his cell phone from Kathy's knee and pressed a button. "Hello, darling," he cooed into the phone. "How's my boy?" was all we could hear as he stepped out of the room and into the kitchen so he could hear. "Who's that?" I chuckled. "Erron," Brian laughed. "And Erron would be . . . ?" JC prodded. "That's complicated," Brian grinned, scratching his head. "Erron is an ex-boyfriend of Nate's. Now he's just a really good friend. In a sense, they're sometimes roommates, I guess." I really wasn't following this all that well, so Kevin chimed in. "Erron's the one who said that he was Nate's boyfriend when the media latched onto that nonexistent thing between him and Nick." "I knew the name sounded familiar," JC shouted with realization. I was distracted by a look on Brian's face. It was something that appeared when Kevin had mentioned Nick's name. I didn't know what, but there was something there that was going through his head. "Well, Nick is such a cutie," Kathy grinned. "I would have thought Nate would have picked him over you, Brian." Brian snapped into reality when he realized that he'd just been insulted. "Hey!" "Don't feel bad, Brian," I smiled. "I would have picked you over Nick." Brian smiled, but "Hey!" accompanied the smack in the gut I got from JC, who was sitting beside me. "Don't worry, sweetie," I reassured him seductively, "if I'm going to leave you for a Backstreet Boy, it's gonna be Kevin." "Hey!" Kathy chuckled. I looked over at Kevin, who was too busy burning with embarrassment to utter a single syllable. Brian was grinning, content with his cousin's aforementioned embarrassment. I decided to either set Kevin at ease or deliver the killing stroke. I got up and kissed him on the cheek. "You know I'm just playing with you," I smiled. The rubor slowly faded from his cheeks. I walked back over to Josh and whispered in his ear, "Not that seeing him in the shower wouldn't give you some serious competition." JC glared at me intently and shot a teasing look at Kevin. Kevin was shifting in his seat uncomfortably when we heard "POOKIE!" being yelled from the other room. Brian's ears shot up like a cocker spaniel. "Yes, dear?" he returned. "I'm lonely!" Nate answered. Brian got a grin on his face. "Excuse me, but duty calls." Kathy had to go there. "If that's your duty, I'm glad you can sing, because I've been in the sack with you, and I wasn't all that impressed." Though unaware of the specifics of the incident in question, we all started laughing hysterically as Brian flipped her off with a smug expression on his face. I was laughing, but when I looked at Kevin, he was looking at me strangely again. The humor in the moment was suddenly gone again. The fact wasn't lost on Kathy, because she came over and hugged me. When she did, she whispered, "Let me talk to him." I just shook my head. "I'll do it," I whispered back. "Why don't you get JC out of here for a second, I don't want to make Kev more disconcerted than he already is." "Okay," she whispered into my ear as she pulled away from me. "Come here, JC, I've got something to show you." "Should I be jealous?" Kevin teased. Kathy shot him one of her 'go to hell' looks as Josh shot me a questioning look of his own. I nodded, and he followed her to the bedrooms. Kevin looked at me with an awkward silence, so I threw the first punch. "So when do you think I'm going to die?" Kevin's jaw, not surprisingly, dropped. He was speechless. He started stuttering and stammering trying to come up with something to say, but he couldn't. I took him by the hand and asked, "Didn't like the way I was looking at you just then, did you?" When the realization dawned on him, he looked to ground, averting my gaze. "I'm sorry," he said, almost in a whisper. "Don't be," I reassured him, lifting his chin so that he would be forced to face me. "It's not something I'm scared to talk about, but it's like anything else--I don't want to have to think about it every waking minute of every single day. That time will come, but it's not here yet." "I guess I wasn't being very thoughtful," he tried to smile bashfully. "On the contrary," I told him, "your concern touches me more than you could ever know. But do you know what I'd rather have from you than your concern?" He looked at me for a moment, unsure how to answer. I could tell he was wondering if I was still being serious. "I'd rather have your friendship," I finished, trying not to laugh at his confusion. "You've got it," he forced himself to smile. "When you knew Brian had heart trouble, did you constantly think he was going to be taken from you at any minute?" I asked after some deliberation. "No," he answered. "I didn't think about it unless he was sick." The corners of my mouth uplifted into a smile. He saw the gesture and mimicked it with one of his own. "Point taken." "So," I said, patting him on the leg, "can the Kevin who hugged me that day in the airport come back so that the one who thinks I'm on death's door can leave?" He half-smiled again and pulled me into a hug. "You bet." As we sat back down, I saw Kathy peeking around the corner. I motioned for her to enter, and she and Josh rejoined us. Something flashed in the corner of my peripheral vision, and when I turned to identify its source, I completely lost my composure. I leaped from my seat, unsure if I was actually seeing what I thought I was. JC walked over behind me, and when he saw the computer screen, his laughter almost drowned out my own. Kathy and Kevin explained the little "slide show" to us, and we were anxious for Brian to see this. When we heard Brian's laughter getting louder, we all ran to our seats to act like nothing was amiss. We hadn't been sitting but a few seconds when Brian came running into the room. Nate caught him, and the two of them spiraled onto the carpet. "You're in so much trouble, little man," Nate threatened. Remembering the pictures, I laughed. "I have a feeling that you're going to be, too." They both looked at me with uncertainty when I pointed towards the screen. "What's that?" Brian asked, pushing Nate off of him so he could sit up. I turned the laptop towards him. Brian reached for it instantly, but Nate stopped him. JC, pulling me close, started laughing, "I didn't know your door swung both ways." Brian was fighting the urge to laugh himself, but he told Nate he couldn't believe him in his most accusatory tone. Brian threatened to erase them, but Nate wasn't daunted--he had made backup copies. He told me there was a set on my computer as well, in case I wanted them, which I did. "I'm going to kill you," Brian laughed, his resolve gone. He threatened to refrain from any nighttime recreational activities, but Nate quickly reminded him that he had been promised twice. ". . . and there's only been that one . . . ." It was painfully apparent that he had forgotten they weren't alone. Josh and I waited patiently for him to continue, Kevin was reddening--again, and Kathy was mentally taking notes. "Never mind," Nate quickly added. "No, no, please, continue," JC grinned. "It was just getting interesting." Nate rolled his eyes, but I could tell he was stifling a laugh. "I think not. But maybe you'd like to come watch later?" he offered as seriously as possible. "Kevin's always trying to get into the room, why not you? JC's dirty mind was already in overdrive. "You know, if the four of us . . . ." I quickly clamped my hand over his mouth to interrupt him. "Let's just let that one go, shall we?" Even Kathy wasn't biting, pardon the pun. "Better yet," she suggested. "Why don't we just go?" "Sounds like a plan," I concurred, jumping up and grabbing my keys from the table. Needless to say, nobody was really arguing. I think everyone was grateful for any respite from this particular conversation. After assorted comments from the guys, I managed to get everybody piled into the SUV. I hopped onto the interstate and we looped around to Elvis Presley Boulevard. I smiled to myself when I saw the expression of building terror building in Brian's face. Since we'd only driven through town to the video store, he wasn't used to Memphis drivers in general and me in particular. Most of the drive was in silence, everyone taking in their new surroundings. Kevin cleared his throat, no doubt addressing Brian and Nate without words. I could hear remarks from them to the effect of "What was he thinking?" I laughed and told them that the property value wasn't as big a concern when Elvis bought it, because it was a nicer part of town then. I could see Brian's eyes lighting up. "What?" I asked him. "We weren't talking about him. We were wondering what you were thinking driving into this neighborhood." "Oh, shut up," Kathy laughed, turning to face him. "It's not that bad. It's mostly a tourist attraction, and the city isn't about to let one of its biggest draws become the sight of 'America's Most Wanted.'" "So how many times have you been here?" Kevin asked me, obviously trying to spare me from any further antics from Brian and Nate. "Honestly?" I asked. "Never." That response prompted puzzled looks from everyone but Kathy. "It's a tourist attraction," Kathy began explaining. "Most people in Memphis know where it is, but about the only time any of us come here is when we're bringing people from out of town." That answer seemed to pacify them, and they were too busy looking out the window trying to see past the gates to the house to press the issue. I pulled into the visitor parking area, and it was flooded with cars and people. "This doesn't look too promising," Kevin remarked, silently counting all of the faces he could see. "A little faith," I smiled as I drove behind the building to the bus parking. A security officer stopped us immediately. "I'm sorry, sir," he began, "but this area is closed for the time being. If you'll wait in the visitor parking area, tours will resume later this afternoon." I could see a 'Well, what are you gonna do now?' look on Kathy's face, and I almost had to laugh. "I'm Matt Hunter," I explained. "Oh, Miss Montrose's friend? Right this way, Mr. Hunter," he instructed me, pointing me to a parking space close to the building. "Michelle has got to hate being called Miss Montrose," I chuckled to Kathy. "I doubt she thinks a thing of it," she laughed. "She probably just looks around for her mother." When we stepped out of the car, the security guard told us to wait right here a few moments. We talked a few minutes among ourselves before one of the shuttle buses came screaming through the lot. "Oh . . . my . . . God," JC muttered. "We're gonna die." The door to the shuttle bus swung open, and Michelle, complete in her business suit, greeted us from the driver's seat. "Well," she smiled, "are you all gonna just sit there all day with your mouths open, or are we gonna go see 'The King?'" "More like the Almighty," JC mumbled under his breath. I tried not to laugh and draw attention to his statement, so I just pushed the guys onto the bus. I made the obligatory introductions, and she clearly knew who the guys were. Michelle peeled out of the lot and tore across the street and through the gates. Some poor security guard had to dive for the grass to get out of the way. Michelle didn't even seem to take notice, she just proceeded up the drive towards the house while spouting off the mounds of Elvis trivia she had learned in her years of working at Graceland. Though I wasn't the Elvis fanatic my mother had been, I was amazed at how unimpressed Michelle was with the house. She was rattling off her usual spiel as the rest of us looked around. I really kind of lost track of Brian and Nate. I didn't know if they were following Michelle or not, but Kevin and Kathy were eyeballing knickknacks on the coffee table. I just sat and watched them for a minute. JC walked up behind me and placed his hand on my waist. "They look good together, don't they?" he asked. "Yeah," I smiled. "They do. I'll always see them together, even if they're not." "Well," he acknowledged, "they always will be together, in a sense--now, at least." I nodded my head in agreement as I turned towards the area off to the side of the living room. "They'll make great parents," I added. He made no indication that he had heard me, and he wasn't even looking in my direction. I think he was too busy drooling over the piano. "It's beautiful," I admitted. "Yeah," he smiled, kissing me on the cheek. "But not as beautiful as you." "Ooh, flatterer," I teased, nudging him towards the others. "You may get lucky yet." "I already am," he grinned as we made our way past the kitchen to the television room. I reached over and closed his jaw when it dropped after seeing about a half-dozen televisions just on one wall of the room. "The man believed in some TV, didn't he?" I chuckled. "A whole lot, apparently. I heard Michelle say that he sat where he did at the dining room table just so he could watch it while he ate." "He really was the king, huh?" I looked at him, perplexed. "I'm not following," I told him. "King of the couch-potatoes," he laughed. Again with the lame comments. "Come on," I instructed, as we went deeper into the basement to the pool room. "I take it back," he said, his mouth agape. "He was the king of bad taste. This room is absolutely hideous." I had to agree with him. This place was an interior decorator's worst nightmare. The billiard table in the center of the room didn't have near the color scheme, or lack thereof, that was apparent in the drapes gathered not just covering every wall, but the ceiling, too. "Remember that he was a poor farm boy from Tupelo, Mississippi," I heard a woman's voice from out of nowhere. I spun to see Michelle in the doorway. "I wondered where you two had wandered off to. The others are in the Jungle Room." JC looked at me funny. He actually seemed like he'd never heard of it. It was either that, or he just couldn't believe that someone had talked him into coming here in the first place. When we got in there, Kevin and Kathy were on their way out, but Nate and Brian were kissing in the corner. "Ahem," JC cleared his throat . . . loudly. They broke from their kiss with a smile. Neither seemed too embarrassed. "What?" Brian asked, his shoulders shrugged in wonder. "It's romantic." "It's thirty-year-old shag carpeting with tacky African decor," I pointed out. "But at least the carpet's green," Nate smiled. I just shook my head in disbelief as Michelle entered. She apparently was backtracking to make sure that no other groups were in the house. She kind of pushed us all up the stairs and out the back. We walked over to the business office, which was pretty dull, other than the fact it was showing a news clip from Elvis' army years. "He was real cute then," JC commented. "Yes, sir!" I teased. JC just rolled his eyes. We left the racquetball building and followed Michelle to the trophy room. I could see the awe in Brian, Kevin, and JC's eyes. It didn't matter if you were an Elvis fan or not, there was something definitely impressive about seeing that many gold and platinum records together. That wasn't all that was in the place, but I couldn't tear my attention away from it for the longest time. Michelle told us we needed to get moving if we wanted to get out of here before the other it got crowded. We stopped in Meditation Garden, where Elvis and several of his family members were buried. It didn't matter how stoic you were, this place was kind of moving. I hadn't started crying my eyes out or anything, but the throat was definitely getting lumpy. I think what had really gotten to me was the epitaph and the inscription by the eternal flame. The realization of my own mortality was suddenly very evident again, and the fact wasn't lost on Josh, who squeezed my hand tightly. Kevin took notice, too, and placed his hand on my shoulder. I looked back at him in thanks before we started back for the bus. Brian and Nate stood there for a few more seconds. Brian had his arms wrapped around Nate and kissed his cheek. I was about to tell them we needed to go, but I saw something in the corner of my eye, something I couldn't identify. 'Great,' I thought, 'now I'm seeing things.' We all soon joined Michelle on the bus. She let us out just past the ticket office and told us to go into the "Walk a Mile in My Shoes" movie. We did, and the theater was empty except for us. As we watched moments from Elvis' life flash across the screen, I laid my head in Josh's lap, and he absentmindedly stroked my hair for the entire time. I was so relaxed that I had fallen asleep at some point. I awoke to some song I vaguely remembered from a TV special when I was a kid, and by that time, the film was ending. Kevin said that Michelle had stuck her head in here to tell us to go to the Automobile Museum next. I was glad somebody was listening. When we got into the museum, I fell in love with the place. The collection of old cars and motorcycles was incredible, but what really got me was the "Drive-in Theater." We all took seats in these replicas of old cars and watched as clips from Elvis' movies were shown on the movie screen in front of us. "I always wondered how big the back seats were in cars back then," I smiled at JC. "Let's find out," he insisted, grabbing my arm and pulling me into the back with him. I could hear the others laughing at us. JC kissed me tenderly and propped himself against "the back door." He pulled me into his arms as we watched the images before us. When the film came to an end, I hated to move from the comfortable spot next to JC, but I knew we needed to get moving. We got out of the "car" as Kevin softly tapped on the side of Nate and Brian's last known location. "Um, guys? Movie's over." "Start it again," Nate's disembodied voice responded breathlessly. "I liked it." That was an obvious ploy to save himself from the comments which were inevitably coming. No such luck. "You can't even name one movie they took a clip from!" Kathy challenged, beating on the hood of car. "Jailhouse Rock," Brian answered hopefully. Unless I had missed it, I didn't remember any clip from that particular movie. Apparently, JC wasn't convinced they had watched it, so he walked over and looked into the car. After some pitiful comment JC made that was reminiscent of "If the van's-a-roc kin' . . . ," Nate sat up and shouted, "You're as bad as Kevin, JC!" My boyfriend, ever taking it in stride, pointed out, "But cuter." Kevin suggested they straighten their clothes up. They looked at one another and realized that any pretense of their innocence was gone. It didn't matter, they still looked like the cats who'd eaten the canary, so Kathy walked over to fix Brian's hair, and JC did the same for Nate. Noticing the time, I knew Michelle had probably stalled long enough, so I asked if they wouldn't mind leaving now. Everyone was fine with bypassing what was left, and with that affirmation, we headed back to the car. "I didn't really think I'd like it," Kevin admitted, "but I'm glad we came." "Me, too," Brian chimed in. Nate and JC nodded their heads in agreement. "So now what?" Kathy inquired. "Graceland?" I suggested. "Sweetie," JC began in his most loving tone, "I hate to point out the obvious, but that's where we just left." I started to laugh, and I could see that everyone but Kathy shared his confusion. "No," Kathy explained, amused herself. "'Elvis Presley's Graceland' is the name of a club on Beale Street." "Home of the blues," Nate offered under his breath absentmindedly, sounding very much like a tour guide. Realizing that he more volume had accompanied that statement than he intended, he tried to save himself. "Sounds like fun." "That's good," I laughed, "because we're almost there." Nobody had really paid attention when I got on the interstate, but now that I was turning off of it, they started looking at the downtown area. "They've really done a lot to try to restore this part of town," Kathy informed them. I pulled into a parking lot between Front and Main, and we got out of the car just a short walk from where the clubs started on Beale. Graceland was pretty much the first one on the left. Kevin motioned across the street to B.B. King's Blues Club. "How about we go there instead?" he asked, waiting for a consensus. "I don't know about you guys, but I've had enough Elvis for one day." "Sounds good to me," Nate agreed. JC and I started up the strip, and from his pace, I got the impression he had been on Beale Street before. I imagined that the guys had come here while they were in town. I heard Kevin start to whistle "Walking in Memphis," soon joined by Brian's vocals, and I knew what kind of reaction that would get out of Kathy--she detested that song. Luckily, I wouldn't have to be a witness to the bloodshed, because JC and I were heading in through the gift shop entrance when they stopped outside. Josh and I were already sitting at a table when Kevin and Kathy joined us, followed by Nate and Brian. "But if she gets hold of me, I might not be able to play for a while," I heard Nate tell Brian, and it didn't take an author's creative mind to figure out the topic of conversation. "Well, when you put it that way . . . ," Brian grinned, pushing his way into Nate's intended seat. Nate sat between Brian and JC, purposefully out of harm's, and Kathy's, reach. "What are you two doing?" I asked, smiling at Nate's laughter, knowing full well what they were doing, but curious nonetheless as to what answer he would give me. They played it off as unimportant while Kathy and Brian continued their war of words. A bemused Kevin offered a comment and chuckle every now and then. After their verbal repartee, everyone started taking in the scenery. "Have you been here before?" I softly asked JC. "Yeah," he answered. "One of the local radio stations that's been one of our staunchest supporters brought us to Beale Street to party after our last concert." "Have you been to B.B.'s before?" "This one, no, but the one in California, yes. Unfortunately, he didn't drop in the night I was there--I would have really liked to hear him play," he answered. "I saw him here some time ago," I said, continuing with the small-talk since no one was really addressing us. "He was fantastic." "I like the blues," he smiled, "but I prefer jazz." I was about to say something else, but the waitress came over to bring us menus and asked us what we wanted to drink. Though a little crowded, I saw her take care of two or three other tables before vanishing to the kitchen. "Nice place, though it seems a little bland after some those rooms this afternoon." I smiled, agreeing with Brian, and told him B.B.'s style was a little different. "Thank God," Kevin and Nate said in unison. JC quickly reminded Nate that he and Brian had a somewhat loftier opinion of Graceland a little earlier. Nate tried to salvage his standpoint by offering a remark that would warm Brian's heart but turn the rest of our stomachs. Brian tried to defend him, and several mini-conversations ensued. Unfortunately, one of those was between Kevin and JC, who were sitting on either side of me. I caught Nate staring off into space, so I reached in front of JC and touched his arm to ask him what was up. "We've been spotted," he tried to say low enough to keep anyone from acting strangely. No such luck, when he told us there was a teenage girl by the door, Brian couldn't resist the urge to look. It was rather like telling someone not to look down when they're afraid of heights--the same morbid fascination surrounding car accidents draws your attention anyway. Kathy and Nate got him to stop sticking his head up like a goose by smacking him from both directions. When Nate told Kevin he was sure, Kevin told the guys, and me, I guess, to be on our best behaviors. "Um, Brian? That means that you should get your hand out of Nate's lap." I had absolutely no clue how Kevin had known. No one could even see under the table. I did, however, find Brian's embarrassment kinda cute. "So, are you ready to order?" I heard a female voice ask, startling all of us back to reality as I realized the waitress was placing my beer in front of me. "I'm sorry," I told her. "We haven't really looked at the menus yet." "Could you give us a few more minutes?" Kevin smiled. "That's okay," she answered without hesitation. "I'll be back after I take their orders," she smiled, nodding towards a couple a few tables away. Kathy had, unlike the rest of us, already decided what she was eating, so she took this newfound time to harass Nate about he and Brian's behavior in the car museum. Brian smiled and joined in. The conversation only went down from there, and I watched on in amusement. Kevin went parental again, just in time for the waitress to return. "I'll have the catfish with hushpuppies and black-eyed peas," he told her, handing her his menu. She looked to me next. "I'll have the country-fried steak, okra, and fried green tomatoes." "Meat loaf and mashed potatoes and gravy," JC said without prompting. "The potatoes sound good," Nate commented. "Let me have that with some fried pork chops, and can I get some more iced tea?" "Won't take me a minute, hon," she smiled, taking just a little to long before moving on to Brian. I smiled, realizing that she was interested in Nate, and he caught it. He was shifting uncomfortably in his seat. Brian ordered a cheeseburger and fries, which I had no particular problem with, but Nate and Kevin seemed to think he should go for something a little more traditionally Southern. He acted exasperated and started perusing the menu again. Brian returned Nate's smile with a grin of his own, and Nate started laughing. Flustered with embarrassment, Nate apologized with a pathetic excuse. "He's a little slow," Brian smiled. "I'll have the fried shrimp and a baked sweet potato." "And you, ma'am?" "Red beans and rice, turnip greens, and cornbread," Kathy answered, giving her back the last menu. I saw Nate's nose turn up, pardon the pun, when she said turnip greens. When the waitress left the table, all bets were off. "Somebody's got an admirer," I sang at Nate. Kathy joined in mercilessly, as usual, and Brian acted like he was insulted that Nate was getting the attention. Nate barked at the unintentional inferences to his apparent lack of sex appeal made by his boyfriend, of all people. JC tried to keep Brian from choking on his foot further, but he was clueless. Kathy teased Brian and told him he was just jealous. Kathy cut herself off mid-sentence when the waitress returned. Nate decided to turn the tables on Brian and flirted with the waitress, who we found out was named Gina. As soon as Gina left again, JC was on the verge of tears of laughter. Brian seemed strangely disconcerted, and Kevin noticed. Nate got him to smile again, but something was odd. Then came the shop talk again . . . . JC, Brian, and Kevin talked about things which quickly lost fascination for the rest of us. Our saving grace came when dinner arrived, and the non-musicians at the table were able to not-so-subtlety change the subject. JC and Brian caught on about the same time. JC apologized to me, and I was sure the whispered tones shared by Nate and Brian were conveying the same message. The food was good, and we ate in virtual silence until we saw the girl Nate had pointed out when we first sat down. She was several feet away and seemed hesitant to approach. Nate smiled and waved for her to join us, which she hesitantly did. "Can I help you?" Josh asked her, since she seemed to be staring at him. "You're JC, right?" she managed to stammer. He told her he was and asked her name. "I'm Tracey," she answered before just standing as silent and as motionless as a statue. JC gently reminded her as to the reason she had come over, noticing the paper she was holding. She finally asked for his autograph about the time Gina asked about dessert. I don't think she had realized who the guys were before that. JC gave Tracey his best smile as he took the paper. "Do you have a pen?" The girl's eyes went wide in horror, but Gina handed him her pen. He thanked Gina and started writing. At some point, Tracey had realized Brian and Kevin were there as well. Kevin spared her and offered he and Brian's autographs as well. "I thought you guys hated each other," Tracey asked, barely audible. JC smiled and told her not to believe everything she read. Within moments, she professed her devotion to 'N SYNC before realizing she hadn't said anything to Brian and Kevin. She tried to shift back and forth between JC and them, and I thought she was going to die of embarrassment at any moment. Brian assured her that he had taken no offense. Tracey's mother, I assumed, finally came over and pulled her away, fearing the child was making a nuisance of herself. Kevin assured her that she was anything but. She thanked them and excused themselves. Kevin told Tracey it was nice to meet her, confirmed by nods of agreement from around the table. "See?" Nate smiled. "You've got an admirer, too." As everyone laughed, I started to make a smartass remark about the types of girls Brian attracted versus the types of girls Nate attracted, but a forced smile on Brian's face told me something more was going on his head. Instead, I sat silently while Nate whispered in his ear. I got the impression that Nate was going to try to console whatever troubled his thoughts, but Nate thought better of it when he realized we weren't alone. I could relate completely. They finally turned away from their private conversation, and all of us averted our gaze so we didn't appear nosy. Nate stared at Kevin for a moment, and I thought we were busted, but some guy on the mike fixed that when he announced that JC, Kevin, and Brian were present. A blinding spotlight and rousing applause accompanied a plea for an impromptu performance. After some whistles and catcalls, Kevin looked around for some input and the guys headed for the stage. Kathy and I moved to Nate's side of the table so that we would have a good view of the stage, but she picked up on my ulterior motives as well and asked Nate what was up with Brian. I assured him that I was thinking the same thing. "Don't ask me," Nate told us, almost yelling to be heard over the sound check. Nate apparently shared our concerns. Kathy pointed out that his apparent change of behavior started with Gina, but Nate was having no more luck making sense of it than we were. "Well, he said he was okay," I pointed out. "I guess we believe him until he says differently. When someone says that they're fine, even when they're obviously not, there's not much else you can do." I realized that I was describing myself as much as anyone else, but its validity as a statement of fact kept Kathy from latching onto it. Nate chuckled and assured me that I was not the only one guilty of that, only now he was on the receiving end. "You don't really think that he's being this way just to . . . ," I began, but Nate quickly cut me off and told me that he in no way thought it was intentional. When a peculiar comment followed that up, Kathy and I were both wondering what it was he was talking about. When it dawned on him we didn't know what he was referring to, he seemed almost surprised for an instant. He proceeded to explain, without getting into specifics, that he was alluding to his past. I was able to fill in a few of the details, which he realized, but when he mentioned Nick finding him curled up in a ball in the shower, it was all too apparent how little I really did know. "You left him?" Kathy's words were like a dagger, cutting into my mental wandering. He said that it had just gotten too much, and he needed some time to assess the situation with the help of friends. The words "too much" struck a chord with me, and I wondered how he was really doing. I knew all too well that feeling of helplessness, and I hoped that he was truly as happy with Brian as he seemed. When my thoughts started to betray themselves, I changed gears. . . . "I assume one of them is Erron?" I smiled. Nate seemed a little shocked that I knew the name of the friend he'd spoken with earlier, but he recovered and mentioned a woman named Andrea. ". . . and then Brian showed up in Toronto at the point when I needed him the most." I hoped I was reading too much into things, but Kathy wasn't following. I silently told her to let the comment stand. Nate seemed genuinely happy, though concerned about what was troubling Brian. "He'll tell you," I smiled. Nate laughed it off and agreed with me. "But just in case, you don't happen to have any torture devices hidden around the house, do you?" I never had a chance--Kathy jumped on it before the words had even registered in my head. I told her she was as bad as JC, which illicited an equally inappropriate comment from Nate. "Oh, don't sink to her level, Nate," I laughed. "You're better than that." The words had barely passed my lips before I was rubbing the spot on my arm where Kathy socked me. "Excuse me?" Kathy shot at me threateningly. I was saved by the bell, or in this case, Brian, who seemed almost shy up there. He told the room that since they hadn't expected to play, they were winging it. Specifically, they were starting with a song dedicated to "a friend." With the house band in the background, the words came. "Put on my blue suede shoes. . . ." Nate and I were in stitches, especially when the word "girl" came over the loudspeakers. The audience turned its attention towards her, and she was not a happy camper, as the bruises Nate and I would be sporting in the morning would attest. She was trying her damnedest to stay mad, but I, of all people, knew she was as amused as I was. She leaned out of public view and warned us, "You might want to let me know which parts of them you consider valuable, too, because they're going to be missing a few by the time they get home." I smiled and whispered my response, "Well, I can't speak for Nate, but I'm partial to every part JC's got." A suppressed laugh and a nod told us Nate felt the same way about Brian. Nate finished driving in the knife by telling her she should be flattered. "I'd be melting in my chair," I smiled, trying not to burst into uncontrolled guffaws, "but Kathy's always made a better Ice Queen than I do." I knew that would get her, and it did. She told us our boyfriends were off of her target list . . . for the moment. "Isn't she cute when she caves like that?" I asked Nate, who agreed and pinched her cheeks. When she brought up her hands to wave him away, I thought she was going to belt him, but she was laughing too hard. The light bulb went off that we were the loudest thing in the place, so I meekly looked up to see JC sitting at the piano, the stage otherwise empty of performing musicians. He was smiling at me, patiently waiting for me to look his way of my own accord. A few strokes of the ivory, and the crowd erupted in applause. Josh cleared his throat. "If you don't mind, I'll be doing this one without benefit of local talent or my friends from the Backstreet Boys," he smiled as he began. The song was immediately recognizable, but when the words to "Stand by Me" came out of my mouth, he was looking directly at me. It was his way of telling me that he wasn't going anywhere. He hadn't called any undue attention to us, but I could feel Nate and Kathy's eyes on me. I honestly hadn't realized how powerful JC's voice could be, and every time he reached the chorus, chills ran down my spine. He finished singing and smiled at me as he bowed out for Kevin. I couldn't help but return the goofy grin. Kevin took JC's place on the bench, but I could see the gears turning in his head. He then asked the legend himself, B.B. King, if he would join him. I thought I'd caught a glimpse of him when we came in but attributed it to wishful thinking. I don't know why, however, this was his club, and he made appearances somewhat frequently. With a little coaxing from the audience, he and Lucille took their rightful place on-stage. Kevin accompanied him while he began an almost monologue about "his" growing-up. I, of course, knew what it was, having heard many artists, including B.B. himself perform it. Kathy and I told Nate what the song was, since he was apparently unfamiliar with it, and how touching it was. "Patches, I'm depending on you, son, to pull the family through. My son, it's all left up to you . . . ." The words put the hairs on my neck on end because so much could be read into the lyrics. I could see the emotion in Kevin's face when B.B. got to the part where Patches' father dies. Kevin, ever the entertainer, pressed forward. I suspected only those who knew him fairly well could understand what a difficult song that was for him to play. Something else entered my thoughts, then, as I realized that while I wasn't like to have a heart attack soon, I could leave my children just that quickly. Kathy squeezed my knee, and when I looked just off-stage, I could see JC's concern evident in his face. Apparently, my thoughts were obvious, but we all turned back to the performance as the audience stood in ovation to the "Blues Boy" himself. JC and the guys eventually rejoined us at the table. When JC excused himself to go to the bathroom, I did likewise. When I got in there, I could see the smile on his reflection in the mirror. I glanced under the stalls to make sure we were alone, and satisfied that we were, I pushed the garbage can in front of the door to slow any interruptions. I walked up behind him and clasped my hands around his waist. I softly kissed his neck before whispering in his ear, "I love you." I could see his smile broaden. "I hope so; otherwise, I was serenading the wrong guy." I spun him around to face me, and with a push from me, he pulled himself up onto the counter. He leaned in to press his lips to mine, but I jerked away and kissed his nose instead. He made another attempt, but this time, I went to his ear. I nibbled softly on the lobe as he craned towards me. I brought my hand up to stop him, but he saw this as an invitation. He took one of my fingers into his mouth, then another, then one more. I used my thumb to hook his jaw upwards so I could trace the underside with my tongue. I sucked gingerly on his Adam's apple. While one of his hands braced him upright, he used the other to absentmindedly massage my shoulder. I unbuttoned the top few buttons of his shirt and began kissing a trail down his chest. He stopped me and jumped back to the floor. "We should probably get back," he said breathlessly. "People are going to talk." "Let them," I smiled, undoing another button. "I'm serious," he laughed, swatting my hands away. "What will the guys think?" I slid my hands into the back of his pants while he began fastening buttons. I kissed the other side of his neck, distracting him fully. "I suspect they know exactly what we're doing," I said in between gasps. That grabbed his attention. "That's what I mean," he said, slapping my hands. "They're gonna think I'm easy or something." "I doubt that," I chuckled, straightening his collar. "At the moment, you're being extremely difficult." He looked in the mirror again to fix his hair. "Since when did you get to be such an exhibitionist?" "I don't know," I laughed, just admiring him. "Something about having an attractive guy singing to me." He just grinned and restored the trash can to its rightful place. "Remind me to warn Just. He sings to everybody." "Oh, really?" I asked with eyebrow raised. "Yeah," he smirked, elbowing me in the gut. "Really." We got back to the table just in time to see Gina handing Kevin the check. "I'll take care of that, Gina," we heard that all-too-identifiable voice announce. "Yes, sir," she smiled at B.B. "That's really not necessary, Mr. King," Kevin assured him. "Nonsense. You sang for your supper," he told us genuinely. "And the name's B.B. My daddy would have been Mr. King, and he's been gone a long time now." "Thank you, Mr. Ki. . . B.B.," Brian smiled, extending his hand. "It's my pleasure," he told us, returning the gesture. Turning to Kathy, "I don't believe we've met." "Kathy," she answered, obviously flattered. "A pleasure, my dear," he said suavely, kissing her hand. "And you, sir?" he asked me. "Matt," I said, standing to offer my hand. He took it and did the same for Nate, who followed my lead. "How do you do, sir?" Nate greeted "Relax, son," B.B. laughed. "We don't stand much on formality 'round these parts. It was good to meet you all, and feel free to come back anytime." He excused himself, and I was amused to see the guys actually star struck themselves. Kathy must have felt the need to intervene on their behalf. "So what exactly took you and JC so long in the bathroom?" "On that note, . . . ," I smiled, pushing JC up as we stood. Brian was conspicuously quiet in the car, and all of us were making our own feeble attempts not to draw attention to it. Kevin and JC were still gushing, anxious to brag to the rest of the guys that they'd share the stage with an American icon. Nate was so concerned with Brian's sullen behavior that I wasn't sure he was hearing a word that was said. We swung through the drive-thru at the video store and dropped off the movies. When I saw "Brian's Song" in the sack, I smiled at Nate and Brian, who nodded sheepishly. Kathy decided she was in the mood for dessert, so we went through another drive-thru, this time for ice cream. Oddly enough, it was the same one that I had brought Justin to. When the person on the other end of the mike asked what we wanted, I turned to ask, but Kevin answered before Kathy had a chance. "Cookie dough." "What about you?" I asked him, but he just shook his head. "Nate? Brian?" Neither one of them heard me, so I started to repeat myself. Kathy touched my arm and silently told me not to. "Okay, I'm ready," I told the cashier. "And what about me?" JC asked, feigning hurt. "I'll take a quart of cookie dough and a quart of mint chocolate chip." JC sat back in his seat, obviously pleased with himself and me for knowing what his favorite flavor was. Kathy handed me some money, and while we waited for the ice cream to be packed, I watched Brian and Nate in the rearview mirror. Brian was staring off into space, and Nate was just looking at him, trying to discern what was in his head. When we got home, they headed back towards the bedroom. The rest of us went into the kitchen for bowls and spoons. Nate came in after a few minutes to let us know that they were going for a walk. He stole a drink from Kevin's can, and Kevin tried to act angry, but his concern was taking precedence. He told Nate to find out what was bothering Brian, which Nate assured us he was going to try to do. He said that Brian thought we'd take offense, but I made sure Nate knew that the opposite was true. I made sure that Brian still had the key to the house, and after a brief attempt at stalling, they finally got out the door. "I hope Brian's okay," Kevin confided as we walked back into the living room. "I'm sure he is," I smiled. "If something's really bothering him, he'll let you know." "I pray you're right," he smiled weakly. We tried to watch television to get everyone's mind off of everything, but after my fourth pass through the channels, I decided that it was in vain. Kathy turned on the radio, and when JC and Kevin heard a disc jockey they recognized, they called into the station. Kathy and I just looked on in amusement as the guys fielded questions from listeners. They agreed to come in and do the morning show the next day, so the DJ let them go with that. He took a request from a caller and started playing "God Must Have Spent a Little More Time on You." "May I have this dance?" JC asked me, his hand outstretched. I took his hand and wrapped his arm around my waist. I rested my head on his shoulder while I clung tightly to him. He hummed along with the music, and neither of us noticed when the song ended. An upbeat Backstreet Boys tune came on, and I realized that we still had an audience--Kevin and Kathy were watching us with goofy grins plastered across their faces. "Come on," I smiled, leading Josh down the hall. He was completely perplexed when I grabbed a chair from the dining room. He laughed when I wedged it under the doorknob in the bathroom. I turned on the water and began drawing a bath. I pulled him into a kiss as I pulled his shirttail out of his pants. He put his hands in my front pockets and drew me closer as I stroked the small of his back with the backs of my thumbs. He pulled my shirt over my head, and I slid his off shoulders. He hugged me tightly, resting his head in the crook of my neck as I did the same. I inhaled deeply, intoxicated by his scent and electrified by the feel of his chest against my own. We both managed to step out of our pants without pulling away from one another. I stroked his neck with one hand while rubbing the back of my hand across his stomach. He ran his fingers down my sides, almost tickling me. His hands came around the back of my legs and pulled me up and to him. I reached behind me and halted the flow of water. I pushed him towards the sunken tub, stopping him when one foot was inside. I pushed his head against his chest and kissed the nape of his neck. I trailed my attention down his spine and playfully bit his backside before urging him down into the water. He took my hand and kissed it before jerking me in with him. I landed atop him in the water, not that I was complaining. I reached under him and lifted his leg to my hip as I pressed against him in a kiss. He ran his fingers through my hair as I licked the water from his chest. I pushed myself off of him and sat on the other end of the tub. He rested his foot against my chest and started giggling. "What?" I laughed. "The hair on your chest tickles," he smiled. I flashed my own smile and cradled his leg in my hands. I stroked the calf before wrapping my fingers around his foot. I kneaded the muscles with my thumbs, and he squirmed with pleasure. I cowed my head and stared at him intently as I licked his foot, but I really thought he was going to come unglued when I started sucking on his toes. I brought the washcloth up over his shin and wrung the excess water from it. I hoisted his foot onto my shoulder as I drank the excess droplets from his skin. When I ran my five-o'clock shadow behind his knee, he shifted so much that some of the water ran out onto the floor. I used my hair to stroke his inner thighs as I lifted him onto the edge of the tub. I traced his crotch with my face, finally using my bottom lip to passively take him into my mouth. My tongue coated every inch of skin, from the base to the extremely sensitive area just under the head. I swirled around the velvety flesh that must have once been his foreskin. I intermittently swallowed and drug my teeth over the rigid muscles. I continued this process for several minutes, until he was on the verge of tears. With a dying gasp, Josh's entire body tensed to restrain his urges. I paused and prepared myself to allow him further down my throat. I eased my nose into his pubic hairs and fought my gag reflex. Josh's hands wrapped tightly in my hair as he held my head in place, not urging me further nor preventing me from pulling back. Then I quickly withdrew, finally permitting him to release himself. I nuzzled his testicles with my nose and mouth as he spasmed almost violently. I could tell he was drained, but he slid back into the water with me, pushing me back to the opposite side. He reached over me to turn on the Jacuzzi effect, and when his armpit passed across my head, I pulled him tightly against me. He cradled my face in his hands and lightly kissed my lips as he reached under him to take my erection in his hands. He lifted up and slowly lowered himself onto me. That alone could have sent me over the edge, but he rhythmically contracted his body from his head to his feet. Watching the waves of his torso, especially the occasional clenching of the muscles in his abdomen, drove me wild, but he pulled my chin up to look directly into one another's eyes. I completely lost track of time and everything else--my body's primal sensations sated themselves within him, and I was enraptured by the solace I found not just in making love to him, but by touching him, being with him, and looking into his face to find the unconditional adoration that was there. When he sensed my impending climax, he raised up, closer to me, as I escaped him. We sat in the tub completely silent for several minutes after that, just gazing at the other. His foot rested on my shoulder while he stroked the sole of mine with his lathered fingers. He wiped the lather up and down my body until I stopped him, using the bath sponge to watch the cascade of soapy water ripple down his form. I pulled him close in my arms, and we submerged ourselves beneath the fading bubbles. I stood up and reached for a towel. He stood, and I arrested every attempt to prevent me from drying him alone. He took the towel from me and returned the favor. When he had completed the task, he kissed me fully and with indescribable passion. I wrapped the towel around his waist as he cloaked me in my robe. I squeezed the taut flesh of his ass through the fabric before scooping him into my arms. I clumsily removed the chair blocking my path and half-carried him to the bedroom. I didn't think Nate and Brian would be home, but I was glad Kathy and Kevin had gone to bed. In truth, though, I was so caught up in the moment, I couldn't have cared less. We immediately stripped again upon reaching the bed, and I laid him on the mattress and straddled him, kissing his lips, his chin, and his jaw before falling atop his chest with exhaustion. He locked his arms around me and stroked my calves with his feet as we slipped into the dreaming in one another's arms. TO BE CONTINUED . . . . . . . . . . . . . . As always, feedback is welcome and appreciated (m_n_hunter@hotmail.com)