Date: Tue, 16 Jan 2001 18:37:53 EST
From: SweetAngel472023@aol.com
Subject: 'A Second Chance'  Chapter 9

'A Second Chance'
Chapter 8

Disclaimer: The usual stuff applies. This is a work of fiction, the product
of my over active imagination. I am not implying anything about the sexuality
of the members of the two bands. If you are underage, please leave or at
least make sure you don't get caught. If you are homophobic, what are you even
doing here?

Hi Everyone
Here's chapter nine! I know, it has only been like two days, but I felt very
creative over the weekend so I wrote chapters 8, 9, and 10.  And I have the
next chapters planned out till like 15. So you won't have to wait long for
these.
This chapter and the next will be a little different. There will be
flashbacks in this chapter, which I will write in italics, so don't get
confused. I know I've been changing the image of the story a bit, but I hope
you like it anyway. Enjoy.

     **Scar**
Chase the sun in my head
Blistered skin turning red
I can't complain
It's something to do
Cloud my mind and erase you

Since you're gone
All is wrong
Nothing seems the same down here
And if you're gone
And I'm alone
Whose heart will I scar now dear?

Feel my legs pushing through
This world I built around you
I know the blame
Is not upon you
I know the heartless things I choose

          -Song lyrics from 'scar' by FUEL-


    Kevin and Lance where at JC's room within seconds. Kevin rushed to where
AJ was lying motionless on the couch.
    "Damn. I should've known. I should've done something. I should've known
this would happen again." Kevin murmured, close to tears.
    "Wait a minute. Are you saying he's done this before?" JC asked in
disbelief. Kevin nodded.
    "We talked about this like a month ago. He said he was in the process of
stopping. I believed him. And it seemed as though he was doing better. I
don't understand why he started again." Kevin paced around the room. He knew
that this was way over his head. AJ needed a therapist. Kevin sighed. This
was not going to be easy.

"I don't need no shrink! I'm not a nut, I know perfectly well what I'm
doing." AJ shouted.
    "No you don't. Cutting yourself is not what a rational person would do. I
know you have problems, but this is not a way to solve them." Kevin tried to
reason. AJ stomped around the room, his face red with anger.
    "Dammit. I don't have 'problems'. There's something going on I have
trouble dealing with. I'm handling it my way."
    "You're not handling it. You're pushing it away. Why won't you accept the
fact that you need help?" Kevin was at his wits end. He knew that AJ was too
stubborn and too proud to admit that he was in too deep.
    "Look, I'm gonna stop, k! I already told you that I would. Now butt out
of my life. I don't know why you always have to stick your nose in to
everyone else's business." AJ yelled.
    "Because it appears that I am the only responsible one around here!"
Kevin shot back. But he knew that he had lost this battle. He'd have to give
AJ some time and space.
    "Okay, listen. I will leave you alone now. But you have to promise that
you'll stop." Kevin pleaded, one last attempt to help his friend. It pained
him to know that he would just have to trust AJ. That there was nothing else
he could do at this point. AJ nodded.
    "I'll try. Damn, don't you get it? I don't do this for the fun of it. I
know it's wrong. And I'll stop." With those words AJ stormed out of the room.
Kevin sighed heavily. 'I hope he meant it.' He thought.

    "Kevin? Where are you?  You're totally spaced out." Lance said. Kevin
stopped pacing.
    "I was just thinking." He explained.
    "He's waking up!" JC yelled from the other end of the room. AJ had just
tried to open his eyes and sit up. He had a pounding headache. But this
wasn't his first hangover, and he'd had worse ones too. He finally succeeded
in opening his eyes and gasped. Why were Lance and Kevin in his room? There
was only one explanation. JC had found him and called Kevin. AJ winced. This
wasn't gonna be pretty.
    "AJ, you got some explaining to do. Why did you start again? When? Did
you stop at all?" Kevin bombarded his hungover bandmate with questions. AJ
had managed to seat himself upright and he was massaging his temples with
both hands. His eyes were closed again. It was easier to argue with Kevin if
you didn't have to see the concern in his eyes.
    "Yes, I stopped. But I started again a few days ago. I just couldn't take
it anymore. Do you have any idea how sickening this is?" AJ said, his voice
thick and heavy.
    "I can only imagine. But we've been through this before. It's not your
fault, and this is no way to deal with it." Kevin was close to tears and his
voice was trembling now.
    "It is my fault!" AJ yelled back despite the throbbing in his head. "If I
hadn't waited so long..." his voice trailed off.
    "You never had a chance." Kevin pointed out. JC threw a confused look at
Lance who shook his shoulders to say 'I know as much as you do.'
    "Um, I'm guessing we missed a part here. Should we leave?" Lance asked
Kevin.
He nodded.
    "I'm sorry, I didn't realize you guys were still in here. This is kind of
private, so we'd appreciate if you left." Kevin said. Lance and JC walked out
the door. JC glanced back as he was leaving, and a pang of guilt and pain
went through him. He didn't know why, but somehow he felt responsible, and he
wished he could do something to help AJ. He hadn't missed the look of fear in
AJ's bloodshot eyes.

    The sun was spilling into the room through a narrow slit between the
curtains. Nick slowly opened his eyes and glanced at the alarm clock. It was
7:30am. That meant another half an hour before Kevin would call them and ask
them to come over for breakfast. Nick loved those last minutes in bed before
he had to get up. When nothing was real and he could pretend that he was
someone else, in another life, in another world. He turned around to face his
lover. Justin was just beginning to stir. His eyes fluttered, then opened
completely.
    "Good morning gorgeous." Nick greeted him. Justin smiled.
    "I love waking up like this, with you beside me. I can't imagine ever
sleeping alone in my bed again." Justin said. Nick nodded.
    "I know what you mean. We've come a long way. Do you think we are moving
too fast?" he asked. Justin shook his head.
    "Nope. We're moving just at the right speed. But then, with you
everything seems right." Justin grinned and kissed Nick on the lips.  It was
slow and soft, yet full of emotion. Nick felt as though all his nerve endings
were in his lips, leading the electricity that passed between them to every
part of his body. He shuddered with delight.
    "Have you ever thought about having sex?" Nick asked after they broke
apart.
    "I'm a teenage guy. There'd be something wrong with me if I hadn't."
Justin replied, laughing.
    "I mean, the two of us having sex. Real sex. You know--you being inside of
me or the other way around?" Nick blushed a little. Justin giggled.
    "Yes, I thought of that too. But I want to wait until we are both ready.
Are you?"
    "I think about it a lot. I want to do it, but I'm still a little scared.
I mean, it's a big step. But we've been dating for six months. I guess we
should be ready." Nick said.
    "The amount of time we've dated doesn't have anything to do with it.
Britney and I waited only one month, but that wasn't love. It was lust. With
you I know it's love, so I can wait forever because I know it will happen
someday. We are meant to be." Nick's eyes widened.
    "You slept with Britney? I thought you were a virgin." Nick said in
disbelief. Justin couldn't help but laugh.
    "I tell him that I think we are meant to be and how much I love him, and
all he hears is that I had sex with Britney. Look, when I told you I was a
virgin, I meant that I have never had sex with a guy. And since I am gay, sex
with a girl doesn't count." Justin hugged Nick and placed a kiss on his cheek.
    "Don't be upset." He pleaded.
    "I'm not upset. Just surprised. But I want to make love to you sometime
soon. I think we're ready."
    "So do I. How about tonight? We won't have a concert, so we can out for
dinner and after that..." Justin smiled. His boyfriend nodded eagerly.
    "It's a date." Nick confirmed.
    "I can't wait."


There goes chapter 9. It's a little longer than the ones before, and I'm
gonna try to make the next one longer too, but I can't promise anything. I
hope you liked the way it's going. Just let me know what you think. I love
feedback, and I always try to reply to any e-mail I get.
Take care,
    j