Date: Thu, 25 Jul 2002 18:12:51 +0100 (BST) From: Jezebel Subject: Set Adrift Chapter 1 Title: Set Adrift Author: Jezebel the Temptress Feedback: eh_oh_po@yahoo.com Disclaimers: This story is fiction and it is not intended to imply anything about the true sexuality of the celebrities mentioned or any personal knowledge about their private lives. If you are underage for your area or if it is illegal for you to look at this why not go somewhere else, if you don't like the thought of two men together in a loving, sexual way this isn't for you either. Summary: Nick finds out that one small act can have severe repercussions for a long time to come. Who would have thought that one kiss could cause so much pain? Notes: This is my first story to the archive, I've written a little before but no real slash in this arena. Please send feedback so I know if you like it and where you think this ought to go. I know that sex isn't the be all and end all of a relationship so it might not feature too strongly in the main story but there will be some of it along the way. The dates might be a little messed up but I wanted this to fit into a specific timeline and all of the major events will still happen, just in a shorter space of time. Check out the following stories by the authors that inspire me: On the Streets (BSB - Kevin) Under Management (Nsync - Lance) Brian and Me (BSB) JC's Hitchhiker (Nsync) Double Take (BSB) My New Life (Nsync) Also check out www.authorclive.com -- it's a great collection of a lot of fab boyband fiction. --------------------- The first time that Nick saw Alexander Sullivan he was a boy of seventeen, the band had just returned triumphant from their European tour and were staying in a hotel in Orlando before going back into the hard slog that was involved with their gruelling schedule of touring and appearances. Lou had treated them to five rooms and had let them have friends or family over the evening before, a kind gesture on his part as he wanted them to be happy for the next few months that they would spend away from home. Nick was in connecting bathroom between his own room and AJ's, he had wanted to speak with the other boy and see that he was not the only one that was homesick, but as he opened the door he heard the sounds of kissing and saw two people who were obviously sharing an impassioned embrace. The first time that Nick Carter saw Alexander Sullivan he was making out with AJ McLean. Nick flushed deeply when he realised that the two people that were making his teenage hormones race were not a normal couple but two men and while he knew that he ought to be disgusted by it he still felt the burning desire rise through him as his cock hardened in the thin boxers that he was wearing to bed. He shut the door tight, putting his hard on down to his raging teenage hormones, the ones that Kevin was always telling him he had, the ones that made him kiss girls outside Austrian nightclubs and keep three or four fans waiting for him at any one time. Nick was a red-blooded heterosexual male, there was no way that he was gay. Forgetting the reason that he had wanted to talk with AJ and all thoughts of homesickness out of his mind Nick escaped to the relative safety of his own room, trying desperately to force his embarrassing hard on down before he had to entertain any more thoughts about the two men in the other room and how much further they had gone. He didn't want to think about it, he tried to block it from his mind as he had done the time he had walked in on his parents having sex, and yet sleep eluded him that night while the troubling thoughts of his questionable sexuality crossed his confused mind. ----------------- Alexander Sullivan had been gay for as long as he could remember, there was never a time that he had not wanted to be with another boy and as far as his memories reached back there had never been a girl that he had wanted to be with. Even at school the regular games like kiss chase and truth or dare had never really appealed to him, at least not unless it was the other boys. Mostly his parents had thought he was just a boy's boy, a slow developer where girls were concerned, at least that was what his mother had always said. Whether she knew the real truth or not Alexander was not sure. He had known AJ since he had moved to the US with his parents when he was seven, the pair had been friends through elementary and high school. Their parents had always joked about them being twins, similar ages and the same name but no one called him Alex, or Alexander ever since he could remember they had called him Sully, because that was what his Grandfather had been called during the war. When Sully had told AJ that he thought he was gay his best friend had supported him in the way you always dream your friends will. Of course being his best friend AJ had gone one step further. AJ McLean was the type of guy that would try anything once and he treated his sexuality in the same way. AJ had helped Sully not only by supporting him but by helping him with the first tentative steps into sexual discovery as well. They had hit the clubs together and looked for guys, never really picking up anyone but having a good time and making out at every opportunity as teenage boys did. At nineteen AJ was still young, still searching for whatever it was he was looking for in life and was still open to any suggestion. When the now popstar was back in Orlando they would go out to the clubs like before or better yet stay in and get lucky. Sully could see though that AJ was not always in it, with his career finally taking off and this his chance to get out of the poverty trap that he had been in for a large part of his life AJ could not let the press or his growing fanbase discover that he liked both men and women. Alex didn't like labels of course, terms like gay or straight didn't mean anything to a free spirit like him but Sully knew that there was a reason other than distance that meant they were growing apart. AJ was willing to give up that small part of himself that liked men, the one half of his character that he had allowed to flourish so far, in order to be the man he had always dreamed of being and to give his mother the retirement that she deserved. If it had not broken his heart Sully would have been proud of that sacrifice. The first time that Sully saw Nick Carter he was standing in the doorway of their adjoining bathroom, he would have thought the kid was cute as he watched with his bright red cheeks and his knowing smile except that the boy was interupting what he was pretty sure was a last, farewell fuck. The last thing that he wanted on his mind was Alex biting down on his shoulder so that he would not scream aloud, he didn't want that vision of the blonde in his mind and yet for some reason as he himself came a moment before AJ he could not help think of little Nicky and wonder if he heard their moment of completion as he lay alone in the next room. --------------------------- Nick spent the next two weeks troubled by what he had seen on his one sleepless night, not only finding out that AJ, who he had always seen as the ladies man of the group was having sex with a man, but also wondering if he was that way inclined. There had been some worrying dreams that had occurred since his encounter late at night and Nick had some hot and sweaty dreams, waking from them with a hard on. That was not really unusual given his age and his lack of a girlfriend but what troubled him more was that Alexander Sullivan was the star of those dreams. Of course he had only met the medium built man a few times. He knew that he was probably AJ's closest friend and childhood companion but he knew nothing about the other man, all he knew was that something in his subconcious wanted Alexander Sullivan for himself. When Nick was not off doing some interview or other for a small network station or off with the band for a performance he was thinking about the man that he had met only a couple of times and wondering how he could meet him again. He knew that his luck was in when he overheard Howie and AJ talking late one night when they had been back in the states just over two weeks. "Did you hear from Sully yet?" Howie asked his friend as the two sat in the shared lounge, it had two twin bedrooms coming off from it and it was AJ's turn to sleep on the sofa. "How is the job hunt going?" Nick stored the piece of information away for future reference, he had thought that being nineteen and not in an international band that AJ's friend would be doing what most young men did and going to college. It was certainly the path that Nick would have mapped out had he not always known he would be famous. "Well, he's still got an interview at K Mart next week for a part time position but he's thinking of hanging on for something a little more his style. I just wish that Lou had said yes on him joining the tour." AJ said, he seemed a little annoyed at the time, Nick remembered Lou turning him down. Now Nick knew that it was because he had wanted Sully along for more than one reason, he wanted not only his friend but his lover on the road with them. "You know how Lou is, he would rather that Jane didn't come with us either. He just wants us completely focused on our careers." Howie said. "No distractions." "He just wants us to work 24 hours a day." AJ said bitterly. It was true, not only had Lou Pearlman been pushing them harder and harder lately but since they had not made such an impact in the States as they had in Europe he was working them even harder. As if there was something that they could do to make themselves more widely known. Europe was an easy market to break, they had a well established history of boybands and pop music, Americans were a lot more choosy about there music and there was a lot more of them. "Have you asked about Sully coming out next month?" Howie asked. Nick wondered why he was so interested in AJ's friend. "Lou said that we've got a few free nights next week, Sully said that he could stay for a few nights." AJ said. "Why?" He asked the same question that Nick had been thinking. What did it matter to Howie who was visiting and when? "Why else, he owes me a back rub." Howie said, AJ laughed as if this was an in joke between the two. Nick felt more of an outsider than he had in a long time. He had thought that the loneliness of being left out would have disapated now that they were back in the US and he was not the only one too young to drink, in Europe the laws were different and AJ had discovered bars and partying in a big way. Nick had been left back at the hotel to watch TV or do his homework, now he felt just as small as the fifteen year old that they had left alone. With a stern sense of resolve Nick decided that he would try and find the time during Sully's visit to get to know the man himself. He would not be left out anymore and he would start with AJ's friend, by the end of the other man's stay Sully would be Nick's friend too. At least that was the plan. -------------------- *********************** Sully had not expected anyone to meet him at the airport, he had the right papers to get into the hotel when he got there and the boys had a tight schedule, their few days off had been cut into by some essential appointments that their manager had arranged for them and while he was glad that AJ was finally getting the recognition he deserved for his talent he did wonder at what price it came. Maybe it was just sour grapes, after all AJ's rising fame had cost him any chance at a relationship more than friendship and Sully really did love Alex for more than his fame, even for more than his sexual prowess; they had grown up together and that meant that Alex knew him better than practically anyone else in the world, even his own family. The hotel was more modest than he was expecting but then the Backstreet Boys were famous in Europe where they were mobbed on the streets but had only minor success in America, Sully wondered perhaps if it were a case of a prophet not being welcome in his home town or if it was just a tougher market to crack than the European one. He made his way in easily and was surprised that his name was at the front desk when he went in and that there was a key waiting for him, he soon discovered that there was a note too that Alex had left for him. Sully, Sorry that I can't be there to meet you, something came up and we had a meeting to go to but I'll be back later. Make yourself at home and feel free to raid the minibar, it's all on Lou and he will only find something else to shout at me for otherwise! I'll see you later, we'll go out ;) Alex. Sully smiled as he read the note while in the elevator on his way to his room, AJ as he was now known still signed his name Alex, because that was often what Sully called him. Even after he was AJ to the rest of the world and Sully became some kind of embarassing nickname for a grown man to have the pair never argued over the title "Alex" because AJ McLean had earned it a long time ago and he was the only one of the two that answered to the name. Sully was used to using AJ, everyone else did even the boys in the band so Alex became the superfluous name for the McLean version as well. As he found his room Sully began to wonder what it was that AJ meant by Lou finding something else to shout at him about, he knew that the other man was a little quicktempered and irrational but he wasn't aware of any major conflict, he made a note to speak with his friend later. Right now he just wanted to sleep off some of the jet lag and rest up for the possible night out that AJ would have planned. -------------- By the time they got back from their unscheduled appointment AJ was pissed, he hated the fact that he had not been there to meet his friend from the plane and that he was a few hours late annoyed him even more. Now they were being told that there was someone else that they were supposed to see, other things that they were supposed to do that week. All of the appointments just essential things that they had to do in order to build their careers. In the end AJ had blown up and told Lou and Johnny that he was not doing anything else that was not on the schedule and that he needed some down time or else he would explode. He was thankful when the others agreed with him, especially Kevin who was more worried about Brian who had been ill for a few weeks with a flu like cold than anything else. All AJ wanted to do was go out, have a drink and forget the entire affair but as soon as he got to the suite that they were staying in he saw the others flopping down, exhaustion clearly written across their faces and knew that he felt the same. The last thing that he needed on top of all of this was a night of heavy clubbing, he just hoped that Sully understood. "So, did your boy get in alright?" Howie asked as he nudged AJ slightly. "I don't know D, I was just about to check." AJ said as he wandered out and along the hall to the room that he had arranged for his best friend, he knocked lightly then knowing that it was late tried the door, glad to see that it was unlocked. Without any further notice AJ slipped in and was taken aback to see Sully spread out like a dog would taking up all of the available space in the queen size bed. Alex knew the easiest way to wake his best friend was to tickle him and so he prodded gently at the exposed ribs, when he got no immediate reaction he jumped a little on the mattress and bounced up and down so that he jolted Sully over slightly, as soon as the other man regained some consciousness AJ felt it was okay to attack. After all, it was unfair to tackle someone that was asleep and completely defenceless but half-awake was fair game. "Whaa..." Sully said, trying to formulate a question in between fending off the advances of the tickle monster that had attacked him. AJ did not let up until Sully took the upper hand, rolling the two over so that he was on top and automatically beginning his counter attack on Alex's ribs. "Oh god...Oh god...Mercy..." AJ said as he realised that he should have planned this a little better and gone to the toilet first, now that Sully had started to attack him he was going to pee himself if he was not careful. After a few more tickles Sully let up, but only when he was sure that Alex was smiling and happy. If Sully had one mission while he was on this trip it was to check that his friend was doing okay and that the infrequent phone calls that he got from the other man were not just pretty lies told over the phone but that this really was what AJ wanted. Sully rolled off him and the two lay next to each other, not touching but just glad of the presence of the other one. Enjoying the type of comfortable silence that only old friends can share. Eventually AJ broke the silence, if only because he had something to tell Sully and then he had promised to bring the other man down to the suite for a quiet dinner. Also Howie wanted to see Sully and tease him about something or other, although AJ could not quite remember what it was. "We're staying in tonight." AJ said, more of a statement than actually asking Sully what he wanted. Alex was pretty sure that whether he wanted to go out or not it would be vetoed by management because it was unneccesary and might mess with their already hectic schedule. "I'm too tired to go out. Are you pissed?" "Actually, I'm tired too." Sully replied, although AJ could not tell if it was what the other truly meant or if he was just humouring him and letting him get his own way. Sully did that sometimes because he wanted to keep the peace as much as possible. "Jet lag, you know." "The others will be having dinner in the suite later, and Howie asked me to bring you with me. Something about a back rub or something." Sully laughed, it was a sound that reminded AJ of home and of simpler times and he smiled at the memories that it conjured up, the two of them in high school or just hanging out. "Yeah, he wishes." Sully said. AJ laughed too, not sure of the joke but knowing that since he had joined the band there had been some kind of rivalry between Howie and Sully that was a continual joke between the pair. "So, what time is dinner?" "In about an hour." AJ said, trying to hide the yawn that came out on the last word. He really was more tired than he had thought. Maybe it was the lying down that was not helping, comfy beds and warm bodies to cuddle close too were not conducive with staying awake. "You think we can nap for a while?" Sully asked as he watched a sleepy AJ snuggle close. He didn't mind holding the other man and had suggested it for the very reason that they needed this closeness, even if they had not talked about their relationship Sully knew that this was as far as it went but that AJ needed this type of grounding every once in a while or else he would go postal. As Alex nestled in to the warmth of Sully's arms he realised that he had missed this but that he would not tell the other man, he wanted his friend to move on and not wait for him and had planned on telling him just that on this trip, but surely a few hugs wouldn't hurt. ------------------ Sully woke to see AJ sitting on the edge of his bed, remote in hand as he watched the TV with the sound off, obviously a Jerry Springer show which by the looks of it was more like pro wrestling than a talk show, definitely not something that he needed the sound for anyway. "Can't sleep?" Sully asked as he sat up and leaned in close to AJ, pulling the other man back towards him and settling so that Alex now sat in between his legs, holding him so that he was secure. "Do you want to talk about it?" "What?" AJ asked, not fighting as Sully took the remote out of his hand and turned off the silent TV so that not even the picture could disturb AJ's attention. "Whatever it is that has you distracted." Sully said. "Don't worry, it's okay if you don't want to tell me." "It's not that..." AJ began but really it was that, he didn't want to tell Sully about the problems of fame because it would make him sound like a whining child who had been given it's dream toy but didn't like it now they had it. Also he didn't want to think about what he was giving up, namely the chance of love with his best friend, because of his career. "It's just everything is getting to me at the moment. No one big thing, just that whole collection of small things that when you add them up really get to you. You know?" "Of course I do. Things like not sleeping enough and irregular meal times, additional meetings and missing your best friend." Sully said, offering a list of those that he had witnessed and he had only been there a few hours. "Of course, I know that missing your best friend is the most worrying and difficult for you." This was said with a smile and a joke which earned him a slap upside the head from Sully but at least made AJ smile again. "Goofball." AJ said as he pulled against the embrace and stood, straightening his slightly rumpled clothes as he did so. Obviously embarassed that the pair would look rumpled. "Dinner time." He said as he checked his watch. "Okay." Sully said, standing too and walking to the door, it was only when he got outside that he realised that he didn't know where he was going and stopped to wait for his friend. The peals of Alex's laughter at Sully's blunder could be heard all the way to the suite the Backstreet Boys were sharing. --------------- Nick watched as AJ walked in, a large grin on his face and his arm around his friend's shoulder. Nick tried not to feel jealous, they were close friends and this was perfectly ordinary behaviour for two people that were as close as AJ and Sully, he was the same with Brian after all, but it did not make it any easier to watch their camraderie knowing that he was an outsider. It irked him even more to see that AJ was playing it cool, not really showing Sully the type of affection that he deserved. Nick wouldn't be like that, he wasn't as callous as AJ seemed to be. If he was in a relationship it was all or nothing, there is no way that he would blow hot one minute and cold the next. Nor would he be able to cope with a casual thing like the one that the two seemed to share. He wasn't looking for a brief love affair, Nick wanted the epic type of love, that once in a life time love that was in all of the songs that they sang. Some might say that he was delusional to even believe it were possible but Brian believed in it too and Nick was holding out for that one special person that would be there for the rest of his life. In Sully he was sure that he had found that person, or at least the closest thing that he had yet found with the potential to be that one special person in his life. "You okay Nicky?" Kevin asked him, using the childish nickname that he hated so much and pulling him out of the romantic daydream he was having. "Your dinner is getting cold." "Yeah." Nick said, a sigh as he watched AJ and Howie laughing over something that Sully had said. He wondered if this was how Kevin felt sometimes when things got him down. "Just tired I guess." "Well, eat up and you can go to bed." Kevin said in his most fatherly tone. "Yeah Nicky, if you're good he'll even read you a story and tuck you in." AJ joked, earning him a glare from Nick, he hated the second youngest, especially when he took the piss and it was even worse that he was doing it in front of Sully. Nick vowed there and then to fight for what he wanted. He began plotting as he ate the rest of his luke warm meal, there had to be a way to get Sully on his own and show him that there were other, perhaps more appealing choices out there than AJ. Nick finished his meal with a determination that he would get Sully. After all he was Nick Carter, he always got what he wanted. Nick may not have been gay but Alexander Sullivan was what he wanted and no matter what, he was going to have him. --------------------- To Be Continued.