Date: Wed, 13 Dec 2000 08:09:00 -0600 From: MJ Subject: Shape of my heart Disclaimer: Do I have to do this? Alright, this story is purely fiction. I do not know (personally) the Backstreet Boys, nor own them nor anything like that. However, if you do, please email me and I will try to suck up to you so that I can get to know them (personally). If you are breaking a law by being here, get out. If you are offended by homosexual themes, get out. Okay, this is my very first time writing for Nifty. Plus, I am a girl. So, try to give me more positive criticism, but hey, I know that I can be wrong so if you find anything that you would like changed, tell me. Now, on with the show/story/whatever... ----------------------------------------------------------------------- It was a perfect night. The stars were breath-taking and the moon was as full as he'd ever seen it. Not that he'd seen many these few years. Nost nights would be spent either in the hotel toom or on the tour bus, with him tired out after the performance or rehearsal, too tired to care about most things except taking a bath, changing into some fresh clothes and sleeping. "Growing old," that was what his cousin had told him he was. Nick, on the other hand, would be totally hyper, bouncing around like a small kid. How old was Nick anyway? 19? 20? Yeah, nearly 20 in a few months' time. For a moment Brian luxuriated in the memory of Nick. Stop, he told himself. The reason why was here on the balcony was becasue he wanted to sort out hid thoughts, not get lost in them. With the help, of course, of a little bourbon. Him and the bourbon had become quite close friends, especially now. Brian poured himself a second glassful and settled on the deckchair. Home away from home away from home. His very own beach house, which he had actaully bought for his family, but they seldom used it, as everybody was very busy with work. As his brother Harold often said, "We have to work too, y'know, bro." He heard Kevin rustling the bedsheets next door, then all was quiet again. His cousin was staying overnight, before he could catch the plane to Kentucky on Wednesday. Frankly, Brian would usually look forward to to breaks so that he could be with his family. But this time, it was different. He looked forward to being alone. He then absently drank the courcon, and filled it up again. Then he stared into the night sky and let himself be lost in it before coming back softly to earth, and suddenly thinking of Nick again. His smile. His laughter. His antics. His childish behaviour, even thought he wasn't getting any younger. And suddenly Brian felt a pang. His girlfriend. Nick had been seeing a girl for what, four to five months now. Even though Nick had insisted that they were merely friends when they teased him about it, it was obvious that there was more to their relationship than that. Painfully obvious to Brian. Oh Nick, he thought. Brian put down his bourbon and sobbed. Kevin fumbled about in the bed, tossing and turning, trying to find a comfortable spot. Finally doing so, he turned his attention to the sounds coming from the next room's balcony. A sigh floated on the night air, coming to his ears. There was another clink, and a sound of a liquid being poured. This was what, Brian's third drink already, and he knew that his cousin was never a very good drinker. As he drifted off to sleep, the faint sounds of sobbing drifted to his ears from the next door balcony. He spent a bad night, floating in and out of sleep, worrying about his cousin. The next morning, he bent over his cousin, gazing at the angelic face that was crowned by a mass of blond hair. The only thing marring the scene was the tear-stained cheeks of the angel. He suddenly remembered a saying that went something like "When an angel cries, great mistfortune is sure to follow." He reached out, want to touch and comfort that face, but quickly withdrew it, as Brian's eyes fluttered open. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Thanks to Colleen for the great (and only) feedback! :) Hope you all will like this next one. Chapter 2 Brian awoke to find Kevin hovering over him. "Huh?" he said. "I was about to wake you up. Whaddya do? Have a party all by yourself? Man, look at this mess! How many bottles of wine did you drink?" Kevin looked around the room, then to his cousin. "Yeah, whatever." Man, his head really hurt. How many bottles *did* he drink, anyway? It seemed to be only half, maybe one bottle, but things got so fuzzy after that, he couldn't really remember. "Could you get me the asprin please, Kev?" He lay back down on the be. Ouch. Even that hurt. Kevin returned a while later with the asprin and some coffee. "Try this. It always works for me. Not that I drink a lot." He grinned. Then his face turned serious as he looked around the room. "Brian, why did you drink so many bottles of alcohol? Even the vodka is gone! And you never drink vodka! Is there anything wrong? Is there anything you want to tell me?" "Nahhhh." Brian groggily shook his head. "I just need to rest. I guess it's just the stress finally taking its toll." "Whatever. If you want to talk, just remember that I'm here." said Kevin, unconvinced. He patted his cousin on the shoulder and departed. He decided to call his family and tell them that he would be staying as he was worried about Brian. When he got off the phone, he thought for a while. Then he finally shook his head and went down the stairs. Brian downed three asprins and the coffee, tasting the raw egg that was the basis of Kevin's 'formula', and lay back down on the bed, hoping that the 'formula' would work, and quick. But just before he slipped into unconsciousness again, he suddenly remembered the unfathomable look that Kevin gave him just before he left. What did it mean? That long unfanthomable look, however, was forgotten too, as he slipped into a deep sleep. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Okay, sorry peeps, to leave you hanging like this, but well... if you want me to write longer, just email me! :) And here's a bit of tantalizing info! "And Nick wasn't helping either, by shutting himself off to everyone, but Brian especially. Sometimes, though, he'd catch them looking at each other when they thought no on was watching, especially the other party." What will happen to Kevin? Will anything happen between Brian and Nick? And why aren't the other two Boys mentioned yet? :) All these and more, in our next installment! Any comments, suggestions, food, parcels, cash, cheque or money orders are to be sent to evilthoughts@dangerous-minds.com. Peace out!~ MJ