Date: Wed, 3 Nov 1999 00:54:06 EST From: Storywrightr@aol.com Subject: singing-4-wrighter Part 3 Disclaimer: The following is a work of fiction. It contains characters who share names, descriptions, etc., with real-life people (specifically members of the group *N SYNC); however, this is all fantasy and in no way is to insinuate anything about those people. To read this work, you must be 18 or of whatever age is legal in the area you reside. After a very long delay, I'm posting a third part to this story. It's primarily a gift (and fulfillment of a promise) to Tonny. I hope he and many others will enjoy it. Comments are welcome. E-mail me at storywrightr@aol.com. Thanks. JC awakened, momentarily disoriented before he realized that he was in Jared's bed. Thinking back, he realized that he must have fallen asleep while Jared went to get the ice cream. He saw Jared asleep next to him, sharing the sheet and blanket spread over his own body. Looking at the digital clock on the night stand, JC saw that it was 2:30 a.m. He had awakened due to nature's call and tried to quietly slip out of the bed to go to the bathroom, hoping not to knock anything over or make too much noise making his way through the dark room. When he returned, he slipped into bed and lay there thinking about the evening. He smiled remembering how exciting and how loving Jared had made his first sexual experience. He did find himself a bit angry about falling asleep. Tomorrow he had to leave, and he felt he had wasted precious time by sleeping. The guys wouldn't be surprised--they always made fun of how much he slept. The guys--if only he could tell them. It was one of the most important and joyous experiences of his life, and he had to keep it a secret from his closest friends. He wanted to call them all, wake them up, and tell them how wonderful he felt. And tell them that he was in love. And he was--he was sure of that; he was in love. JC looked at Jared sleeping peacefully next to him, barely able to make out his features in the dark room. He felt such a warmth, such a wonderful full feeling, just from looking at Jared. He suddenly realized that he needn't just look--he could touch. He could hold Jared. Like in the movies or books or the way he had seen others holding the one they loved. As JC moved close to Jared and placed his arm across Jared's chest and his leg across Jared's thighs, Jared moaned in his sleep. JC worried momentarily that he might wake the sleeping man, but there was no further sound and no movement. JC quickly settled into holding his love and was asleep again in moments. Jared awakened before the alarm went off. He felt JC's arm across his chest and their legs intertwined. Jared smiled. This had to be what heaven was like. He looked at the clock to see that it was just before 6:00, almost an hour before he usually got up for work. He suddenly realized that it was Saturday, meaning he didn't have to get up for work. That made him smile. Then he remembered that JC had to leave--not only to go home, but to catch a plane to Nashville. That made him sad. Jared started mentally yelling at himself. He would not allow himself to become sad about JC's leaving. He couldn't keep himself from being angry at his own actions that had prevented them from spending the last week together. Last night had been so special; why had he denied himself those experiences? Why hadn't he met Jared on the twelfth, as JC had wanted. He became sadder and more serious as he thought about the emotions he had been experiencing over the past couple of weeks. JC awakened slowly. As he opened his eyes, he was happy to be looking at Jared's face. It made him smile. Then he noticed that Jared had a serious expression on his face--even sad. JC pulled his arm tighter across Jared's chest and reached over with his head to kiss Jared's cheek. "Oh! You startled me! I didn't know you were awake." "Sorry. Just woke up. And that was the first thing I wanted to do. Hug you and kiss you." JC smiled as he looked into Jared's eyes. Jared's face softened. "What an unbelievable night. And what a perfect morning." "That's what I think too." "So you are all right with everything that happened last night?" Jared asked, with a little concern showing in his voice. "Well, now that you asked, not really," JC answered with a small frown as he looked away from Jared. "Oh. I'm sorry. I pushed you, huh?" JC couldn't keep from laughing. "What?" Jared almost yelled. "I was just kidding you! The only part I didn't like was falling asleep and missing out on more time with you!" "You jerk! You scared me!" JC was still laughing. "I'm sorry. I really enjoyed every minute we spent together. I was just mad at myself when I woke up in the middle of the night and realized that I had fallen asleep. But I loved being able to hold you as I went back to sleep." "Yeah, it was nice waking up with you holding me." They looked into each other's eyes and leaned in for a kiss. "Hmmm . . . that was nice," Jared whispered. "Hmmm . . . something else feels nice too . . . against my leg." "Oh yeah? Well, it is morning, you know? And I'm lying here naked hugging on the best looking guy I've ever seen," JC cooed with a smile. "Yeah, I know what you mean. I sort of have the same problem." JC moved his arm down Jared's chest, across his abs, until his hand came in contact with Jared's erect penis. "Ah, I see what you mean. Funny, this is always embarrassing when I'm on the bus and have to get from my bunk to the bathroom without being seen. But it doesn't feel like a problem this morning." "Well, at least not a problem that we mind solving!" "Nope," JC smiled. "Maybe we can help each other? I usually have to solve this problem by myself." "Oh yeah! You're my buddy! I don't mind helping you out!" Jared kidded with JC. "Oh, I'm your buddy, huh? And do you offer this help to all your buddies?" JC asked with a smile. "No," Jared answered, suddenly getting serious. "And you're much more than just my buddy--at least I hope you are." "Hey, I was just kidding with you! I hope I'm much more than your buddy!" JC tried to reassure Jared and was pleased to see Jared's face relax. After a pause, JC continued, "I meant it last night Jared. I meant it when I said that I love you. And I still mean it this morning." Jared turned swiftly, pushing JC onto his back. Jared came up on top of JC, straddling him and sitting down on JC's crotch. He held JC's arms out to either side and looked down into JC's eyes. "And I love you!" JC quickly recovered from the shock of Jared's surprising movements--and the feeling of Jared sitting on his crotch--and smiled broadly as he looked up at him. Jared continued, as he began to grind his butt around on JC's erection. JC's eyelids lowered as his eyes began to roll back in his head; his mouth opened to allow a groan. "I believe you," JC whispered. Jared laughed, enjoying driving JC crazy with pleasure. He lowered his face to JC's to first rub his lips across and then lick JC's eyelids. JC couldn't believe how erotic it felt. He made a mental note to remember that one. As Jared continued to stimulate JC's penis, trapping it in the crack of his ass, JC wondered if another new experience was about to be offered to him. He found it both exciting and frightening. Was Jared indicating that he wanted JC inside him? All this was so new to him. Is there some book he could read about what's polite in bed with another guy? JC opened his eyes to look up into Jared's face. "What are you thinking?" asked Jared. "Um, nothing," JC answered. "Liar!" Jared answered--then rolled off of JC to lie next to him with his head propped up on his fist. "Just that I feel so ignorant and so naive. You must think I'm so stupid about sex." "What? Are you crazy? What do you mean?" "Well, just that like when you were just sitting on me . . . that felt incredible. But what did it mean? I mean, what was I supposed to do? I just feel stupid!" "Oh Josh! I'm sorry! Don't feel stupid! It doesn't matter how much experience you've had, every couple--especially every gay couple--has to work out what they enjoy doing together and how and when. That's part of getting to know a partner--learning what you each enjoy and what you enjoy together. It can be fun exploring. And sometimes expanding what you do or enjoy doing. But it shouldn't be scary. I'm sorry--I just loved sitting on you like that. I wasn't trying to suggest that we do anything more than that right now. I just wanted to give us both pleasure. . . . And to enjoy looking down at your face. You're so beautiful!" "I love you. I want to explore everything with you. I just want to make you happy and to make you know that I love you and love to be with you. . . . So you'll be patient with me?" "Josh! If all you ever wanted to do was hold hands, I'd make do with that just to spend time with you." JC laughed. "Well don't worry! I want to do an awful lot more than that!" Jared joined in the laughter. "Good! But only when we're both ready." "You know what I'm not ready for?" Jared became concerned as he responded, "Whatever it is Josh, we don't have to do it!" "I'm afraid we do--I'm not ready to say good bye for even a few days." "Oh--you scared me! . . . Oh but that scares me too." "Yeah," JC almost whispered. "It scares me too." "When are you back in town?" "The show is Wednesday night. I think we're coming back here Thursday. Not sure." "Well, that's not so bad. I mean, if we were getting to know each other and starting to date, we probably wouldn't see each other again before that." "But it feels like we're beyond that. I mean, I can't believe that I just laid eyes on you for the first time last night. I feel like I've known you for so long. And I want to lay my eyes on you a lot to catch up with how well I know you inside!" JC's flirtatious tone in that last comment was not lost on Jared, who smiled in response. "And I want to get to know you beyond all those pictures and videos I've always seen. And the parts no one else GETS to see!" "You're going to make me blush!" "Already did!" Jared answered, laughing. JC joined in the laughter as they enjoyed their time lying in bed together. "Um, Jared?" "Yeah?" "About the last couple of weeks . . . I don't want to harp on anything, but are there some things we need to talk about? I mean, about what happened between us?" Jared looked away, turning onto his side with his back to JC, but JC's hand moved with Jared's body and still rested on his side. "Yeah, we need to talk about me being an asshole, I guess. It's just really embarrassing. I wish it had never happened. I kept us from being together for the whole past week because I was scared or stupid or whatever." "I didn't mean to make you feel bad," JC answered. "But I wanted to know if we had resolved things. If your fears were gone." "Or if I'm going to make you crazy again anytime soon . . . " Jared answered. "I wish I could promise I won't be stupid again Josh. But I guess it's just insecurity. And let's face it, if I'm insecure with your average guy off the street, how'm I going to hold up with you--Mr. Gorgeous International Pop Star?" "I'm sorry that that's how you think of me," JC said, as he allowed his hand to slide off of Jared's body and turned his own body away from Jared. They now lay side by side, but back to back on the bed. Jared turned and lightly placed his hand on JC's side. "Oh Josh, that's not how I see you--I see you as the most loving and most real man I've ever known. Ha! Remember how hard it was for me to think of you as real when we were first writing e-mails to each other? . . . But at the same time, you are JC too! And I can't forget that. I guess I just need some time to put the two together--and to learn that you are really you. Please forgive me." JC turned and looked deeply into Jared's eyes--eyes that showed fear and concern. "I forgive you--if there's anything needing forgiveness. Maybe I'm the one who's insecure--still afraid no one will love me for Josh instead of JC. This is all so new to me. I'm sure I'm going to make lots of mistakes-- with the loving and the relationship and the sex. But I really want to try Jared! I really think we have some kind of really special connection, you know?" As he was saying these words, he watched Jared's eyes soften from fear and concern to love and hope. It encouraged JC in what he was saying. "You'll try with me?" "Oh yeah! Yeah! If you'll put up with my silliness. And my need to be reassured. I've never felt about anybody like I do about you Josh! You just make me feel all alive and warm and good! I better not mess it up!" Jared laughed at his own words, and JC joined him in soft laughter. They kissed slowly and softly. "There," JC said, "Sealed with a kiss!" "A commitment?" Jared asked with raised eyebrows and slightly cocked head. "Yeah. I'd say so. . . . Seriously--a commitment to try and make this work--even when it's not so easy. Like when I have to be gone or have to be secretive about being gay. That bothers you, I know. But you up to it? Up to trying to make it work?" "Yes. . . . Yes. I'll take that challenge. Because I can already tell how wonderful the rewards will be." The smiles on both men's faces grew and they came together in a kiss as they wrapped their arms around each other and rolled over first onto Jared's back and then back onto JC's. They were each determined to make the other aware of just how strong their feelings were; of how hard they would each try to make this budding relationship--this new adventure--work for them both. And they did feel it--they felt the combined strength and the enormous joy. At that moment, no obstacle posed the slightest problem for them. They had each waited much too long for this feeling of love, and they would each treasure it as long as possible.