Date: Sun, 5 May 2002 18:37:59 +0100 (GMT Daylight Time) From: David Grimstone Subject: Sins & Saviors 5 Sins & Saviors by DCG ################## DISCLAIMER ################## Hey there again...blaadi blaaaaa blaaaa. Get the picture? Oh ok then, if you can't speak 'DCGish' then here we go...Don't read if a narrow minded or under age person, but do read on if yo do not fit that category!! I also do not wish to imply that any member of NSync is gay, but as with everyone I have my suspects...(and you know who you are!! lol) Authors Notes: Here we go with Chapter 5 of S&S...It is slowly moving it's way to the second arc of the story. I aim to finish in the hospital soon and start getting the couples together...I think you can all guess who the first couple are going to be, but I will leave it up to you as to who the other ones will be...Also, make sure you go and read JC's Hitchhiker as it's one of the best out there...aswell as my soul mate JC which is also F.A.B...lol Also take a look back into the archives and read devotion and others... (as you can tell, all the stories suggested are NSync stories as I have an un-natural obsession with them!! lol (especially Justin) haha) By the way...the chapter titles will probably make absolutely no sense to anyone but me...but I will let you all know if you really need that information... Anyhoo, enjoy and please feel free to toss flames or compliments my way...to grimstone@btinternet.com or ujemeflip@hotmail.com ***************************************************************************** Last time in Sins & Saviors... "Tell me what happened then Josh...Tell me what happened to that man..." asked Justin. He had no clue what was about to be told. And JC had no idea what the repercussions would be. 'Yeah, Justin doesn't know who he is...but I do...I know what I did...and so will Justin. He'll hate me!' screamed JC within the walls of his thoughts...But this was it. He said he would tell, and he would stand by his word, whatever the outcome. And now...the continuing saga... ***************************************************************************** Sins & Saviors - Chapter 5 - Emergence This was it...Justin was staring down to a preparing JC. He was expectant. JC could see that. 'He has no reason to hate me because of it...It's not like he knows that man...I was only being his best friend...Anyone would have done it...' argued JC inside. he went from complete confidence to abject horror within a few inward comments...but it had to be done. "I must have seen the man just before you went unconscious...I couldn't see you." started JC. This was going to take time, and patience. "He had his legs in the road. I didn't even know you were there at first...I just thought it was weird for someone to be out in the rain knelt in the road..." JC looked straight at Justin. Justin's eyes were expectent but unknowing. "Then I heard him shout your name...I think thats when you blacked out or something...I...I thought..." stuttered JC as he tried in vain to piece the words together in his mind. "I thought that...that he was attacking someone..." "I thought that he was attacking you...His voice sounded so strong and powerful..." croaked JC...his voice began to crack under the pressure, and Justin could see it "Josh?" questioned Justin. He could see the look of uncertainty in JC's eyes, but didn't understand the reason... "But he wasn't attacking me...He saved my life!" followed Justin. It was a point he had already made clear to JC... "I know..." spluttered JC as tears began to gather in his eyes, but didn't flow just yet...he managed to sniffle them away for the time being. "But I didn't know...I didn't know that...So I ran up to where you were, and I saw you laying on the ground, in the road, and your eyes were closed, and I couldn't see you breathing...You looked so lifeless..." whispered JC as he fought to explain his reasons. He needed to express his feelings, and let Justin know that what he did was, at the time, the right thing to do...Justin could see the hurt clearly in JC's eyes. He forgot about the explanation for a second as his own eyes clouded up with prospective tears at the sight of his best friend in tatters... "It can't be that bad that your crying Josh. You don't have to cry, I'm ok now...you did your best!' said Justin, thinking that his words would soothe JC. That they would stop the flood of tears, and that he would get JC to finish a story that had a happy ending... Silence prevailed before JC took in a deep breath of air and stopped crying... 'I've started so I've got to finish it...' "I thought that he'd done that to you...so...so I called for an ambulance...I asked him what he was doing, doing with you..." spoke JC. His breath measured and his voice calmer but his nerves and emotions still hidden and in tatters... "But he didn't answer...He didn't say anything. So I...I pulled him off you, and I...I pushed him away..." finished JC in a whisper. Justin didn't avert his gaze from JC for a second after those words slipped aimlessly through his lips. "I pushed him away...and...and I think I might have killed him or something...I didn't know he tried to save you..." pleaded JC as he looked up to Justin. By this point Justin had looked away from JC and looked straight forward. 'I shouldn't be mad. He's my best friend, and he did what he thought was right.' echoed the logical part of Justins thoughts... 'But why do you want to hit him right now? Why do you feel angry? Why are you thinking about that man that saved your life?' argued the emotional, alternative side of his thoughts... JC looked for seconds...eventually, for minutes, but Justin kept his gaze forward. The tears that graced JC's cheeks throughout his divulgence had dried, but more threatened. At no time in their past had either man ignored the others pleas, nor had they broken off their friendship over an argument or a mistake. 'Sure this is the mother of all mistakes...but' tried JC to argue amongst himself, but he couldn't find a reason tp calm his nerves...This was the ultimate mistake, and yet the ultimate misunderstanding and the ultimate over-reaction in the history of their relationship. Another minute passed, and another was fast appoaching as Justin continued to look forward. His eyes were not staring at the wall opposite, and his glare wasn't of this world. He was deep in his thoughts. The events of the previous night were as fresh as ever, and his retelling of the story to JC had made them even more potent in their influence. The image, the enduring image of this, up to now, man without any name, was plastered across Justin's vision. 'The eyes...the lips...the touch of moisture...the way his...' thought Justin. But his thoughts and dreams and enduring images were disrupted by JC violently pushing his chair away from the bed as he readied himself to stand. The harsh scratching of metal against flooring echoed through the silent room and caused Justin to jump out of his slumberand his heart to jump several beats. The pain returned to his ribs that he felt dissipate moments earlier. "Shit..." muttered Justin as he closed his eyes for a second to try and control the ever increasing pains... But JC didn't notice and stood up. Just as his body left the chair, the door to the room opened and in walked all the remaining members of the group with Lynn in tow. Now for the first time since the time spent at the restaurant the past evening, all five members, friends, brothers, were in the same place at the same time. But this fact didn't dawn on any of their thoughts. Joey walked in first, with a coffee in hand, and laugh echoing behind him, and he immediately saw the distance between Justin and JC as the latter brushed harshly against Joey as he fought to leave the room. "Hey JC...Where ya off to?" shouted Joey as he semi-blocked JC's route out of the room as the rest filed in past them both... JC stuttered for a moment and then composed himself... "I'm gonna get a drink. Want one?" he asked, nonchalantly, but Joey shook his head and let JC past and out of the room. The atmosphere lightened somewhat as he disappeared down the corridor, and that didn't escape Joey's thoughts... Everyone had already entered the room and were in the process of finding seats for themselves. They were talking amongst themselves and were yet to acknowledge a pained Justin. Lynn talked business with a subdued Lance, and Chris and Joey were their funny, *pranky* self. (Not a real word but what the hell!!lol) Justin opened his eyes for a second and surveyed the scene. He saw his mom, her face beaming with happiness, something Justin hoped would remain after Britney arrives... He felt a pinch of pain increase in his ribs as he continued his mental cataloguing... Lance. He looked ok, but that was as good as it got. 'Lance can be like that sometimes!' thought Justin as he remembered all those times in the past when Lance would take everything to heart. His emotions were so easily swayed and damaged. Chris and Joey. The gruesome twosome, but a twosome that Justin would not do without, ever. This moment of thought brought Justin back to reality.Looking at his four brothers and his mother summoned a moment of decisiveness...Just one thought bounded through his head as this happened... 'I could have died.' he realised, and with that, huge moment of clarity, the pain in his ribs increased ten fold. He closed his eyes, shut, tight, and groaned audibly. The pain had returned when JC was here, and hadn't left or subsided since, infact it grew in magnitude. Justin opened his eyes and looked at the closed door. He looked to where JC sat when he was there, and he thought of what he needed to do to repair the damage... 'I need to tell him that it's ok...that I for..." but Justin couldn't finish his sentence as his ribs cracked audibly and it immediately caught everyones attention. "Shit, what was that?" said Joey as he looked away from his conversation for a moment, but he knew what it was straight away as he looked straight at Justin. Justin's eyes were closed firmly shut, and painfully so... One by their eyes followed Joeys intent and piercing stare to Justins form, hunching further up the bed as his eyes remained shut and a low and almost unaudible humming came from his lips as he mentally willed for pain to go away... In a floury of activity, they all rushed to his bedside as Lance exited the room to find the next available doctor... But although the pain was excruciating in it's magnitude and depth, Justin had only two thoughts on his mind...not the pain, but one image of JC leaving the room, and the other of what Justin imagined was the full form of this, to him, nameless man. JC had told his story, and Justin had listened intently. But JC had told it wrong. 'He said he was dead...dead.' Justin replayed the quote over and over in his mind as the nearer available doctor came in a helped ease the pain. JC had ended the story wrong. He had said what he thought, not what actually happened, and Justin had only heard the low, painful, and emotionally charged words, not the darkened, hidden, and truthful thoughts... ***************************************************************************** "What's wrong with you now?" questioned the voice... Silence "It's a beautiful day and the birds are singing and you have a frown the size of the Grand Canyon on your face..." Silence "You should come you know..." Silence "A picnic on the grass...Sun in your eyes, and light wind in your hair..." Silence "I take the silence as a 'no' then..." laughter then... Silence "You can only study for so long you know..." Silence. "One of these days some girl is going to come along and whisk you off your feet and your going to have no time to spend studying..." Silence. And no response forthcoming, nothing. No image...No sound other than the alluring female voice echoing through what can only be described as nothing... ***************************************************************************** "Flight 310 to Atlanta Georgia is now boarding at gate 4, I repeat, Flight 310 to Atlanta Georgia has begun boarding at gate 4..." echoed the tanoy announcer to the throngs of people mulling and shuffling around within the confines of this un-named airport... "Finally!" responded a voice as it's body moved towards the awaiting aircraft, almost edgy in it's need to get to it's destination, the rain soaked city of Atlanta... ***************************************************************************** Closing the door behind him had been as difficult as picking his favourite limb so severe. But it had to be done. Thinking about what happened, rationally, was impossible for JC as he walked out into the midday refreshing air. He needed a release, and fresh air, and a moment alone did that for him. He knew he couldn't go out of the front door, so to speak, because of the mass media interest. So the only place that came to his fraught mind was the roof. he could walk aimlessly up there, and more importantly, he could do it alone... 'What the FUCK is going on?' screamed JCs thoughts as the realisation that, in the past 24 hours, everything had changed completely. 24 hours ago everything was almost as JC would want it. Now...Now it was everything JC didn't want it to be...Justin hated him, completely, and that knocked the wind out of him. He walked to the edge and placed his hands on the raised ledge. He looked outwards into the midday sky. He sucked up a deep breath and moments later exhaled deelpy and lowered his head... "I thought I'd find you somewhere..." said Johnny Wright as he walked out into the air and towards JC who remained stuck in his spot, not looking back to acknowledge him. "Justin is back asleep. They had to give him something for the pain." stated Johnny as he neared the ledge. When he reached it he looked sidewards to see JC's face blankly staring forwards. "He's going to be fine. It was the shock that meant he had to stay in. I know you two are close JC." Pointed out Johnny, emphasising the obvious. "I know he's alright. I'm glad he's gonna be ok (deep breath) I don't know what I'd do if he wasn't..." Blurted out JC. He was starting to get towards the emotive 'edge' Silence. Johnny looked away from JC for a moment. He hadn't come here to listen to JC's heartfelt messages of unrequired remorse. He felt a slight tinge of guilt as he thought it, but it was true. The words that he spoke at the press conference were words he would have to hold his hands up and support. He would have to stand by them, through thick and thin, until they were proved true or false. He needed JC's support. JC had spoken to the police officer the previous day and told them the story that Johnny wanted. 'A story to implicate Jonathan Harrison' was the outcome. A favourable one for Johnny. But the silence was becoming unbearable and Johnny needed resolution... "Nice day!" Monotonously commented Johnny as he looked, like JC, out into the sky. "Yeah..." Whispered JC as he looked down to his hands, he was about to say something, to explain his every depressing mood, to explain the reason why, even after Justin positive prognosis, he was still in a depressive mood, but... "Look, whatever happens JC. Whatever Justin says, whatever that man says, and whatever the police believe, I will stand by you..." said Johnny followed by a short pause where JC inhaled deeply, something caught by Johnny as it pierced the air. "I will stand by what you told the police." Finished Johnny as he put his hand on JCs shoulder. JC returned his gaze and produced a small smile. 'Jackpot' thought Johnny as he retreated his hand and acknowledged JC before making his way off the roof. JC remained there for a few more seconds before following Johnnys' lead and making his way indoors. He needed to see Justin. ***************************************************************************** The door had been closed. But Lance and Joey remained outside, looking in silently. They had been there for a few minutes, knowing they were not alone, but in each others company, but at the same time not physically acknowledging each other. Justin's incident ten minutes ago had shaken both of them. The crack of the bone in his ribs reverberated through the room like a bullet out a loaded gun. For Joey it had dragged him back from the practical joke and smile filled world he had just re-entered. He felt better for allowing a smile grace his face, but now it had gone again. He was in a way back at square one. Lance, was where he had been for a long time. He was alone, and desperate for someone to talk to. He had told an unconscious Jonathan his secret, and that was a relief of sorts, but he needed some verbal support. He needed someone to tell him that 'It doesn't matter' or 'So what! Is that all?' in a nonchalant way. The words of Cath outside came back to him quickly as he stood alongside Joey. 'She told me to talk to him...' 'She asked me to talk to him...' reasoned Lance as he gazed at Joeys reflection in the glass. This was it...He only hoped that Joey would be just as Cath said he would be, even though he knew him better than she did... "I met your friend today..." Said Lance to break the ice and the cold silence. Joeys face visibly raised and he smiled in recognition of the mention of his 'friend' "You met Cath?" "Yeah" "I like her...I think..." Stuttered Joey as he continued to look into the glass. 'Why the hell did I say that?' screamed Joey as he fought to realise why he had admitted something that he was only beginning to contemplate himself... For Lance it meant a halt to his own admission. Joey had beaten him to the punch. It was something that would have to save for later. 'Now I have to smile and show Joey that I'm pleased...' and with that Lance smiled and patted Joey on the back. The front was false, completely and utterly but Joey didn't see it and only smiled into Lances support. "So our Joe's got a woman then?" smirked Lance...and it worked, as Joey cringed into the touch. "Not yet...I haven't gpt her yet, I haven't even decided whether or not to ask her yet!" responded Joey as Lance lowered his arm. "Well you better hurry up before someone beats you to it Stallion!" and with that Lance burst out laughing, which for the moments it lasted, took him away from the negativity of his present situation. Joey meanwhile took it the wrong way. Lance was the never the womaniser...Infact he was never a woman person full stop, but his comment sent a message to Joey. The wrong message. 'A Competitor?' ***************************************************************************** Silence... "You always say that mom..." responded Jonathan as he turned on his heels to face his mother... But when he turned it was as if the scene changed before his eyes. He had listened to the words of his mother for the past few minutes. The sounds and echoes from her were familiar. The words strung a chord that had already been strummed before and had come to rest. It was Deja'vu. In turning the white facade of before had dissipated. It was replaced by rain, and that was the first thing Jonathan realised. Rain, heavy droplets falling everywhere. He raised his head and looked skywards and for the first time realised the change in scenery. 'Where am I?' he questioned as he tried to recollect the past few minutes and hours. The visions were fading fast... He could remember Natalie, just. He could remember Patrick being around, just. But he couldn't remember what they were doing for some reason, yet he had the feeling that they were around recently. Then another realisation... 'Natalie couldn't have been there...' and from this his confusion returned. But throughout this soul searching, one thing remained a constant. A face. A face of a man. A nameless face. But still a constant. 'Who is he?' questioned Jonathan as he lowered his face down...His eyes met the scene... ***************************************************************************** There ya go folks...Chapter 5 and it's starting to get a bit more interesting, and yes...Jonathan has finally awoken from his slumber to face what? who? why? and how will he deal with it all? Will Justin ever find out that Jonathan isn't dead? Will Johnny ever stop being a snide manipulating bastard? (probably not to the last one...atleast not for now! moohahahaha) For your information...the title - 'Emergence' is all to do with the last paragraph of the chapter...and will have connotations further down the line aswell... Anyhoo...many thanks and kisses to Christoph the great...Jimbob, and everyone else who acts as Editors and general suggestive machines for me...it is much appreciated and I luv you all... Look for Chap 6 to signal the end of the first arc and the start of something new...Hopefully!! But until then...keep the chins up...Up the Millers hehe!! and keep the faith in your true self...cause thats all that matters inside... DCG