Date: Thu, 16 Sep 1999 14:35:53 -0700 From: Travis Subject: Boy-Bands Soul-Mates 8 This story is fiction and should be treated as such. Although it contains characters that are real people, they are portrayed as fictitious and I am not implying or suggesting that any of the band members of the Backstreet boys or 'N sync are gay or straight. Well here is part 8. Now that I'm back at school it's obviously taking longer to get the sections out. What I have found is that I do not like writing short installments so this will be the last one. From now on they will be longer and hopefully better for it. But they will take longer to come out. IMPORTANT: I am finding it increasingly harder to write this story from the points of view of each character. It doesn't allow for deeper descriptions and scenery etc... It just sounds weird to have JC for example say "the sky was blue...etc.". I do realize, however, that most of the readers of this story like it character by character. What I'm asking is: Would it be really upsetting if I switched to a narrative style? I won't do this if it bothers a lot of readers but I want to know? Thank you to Nifty for displaying this. Soul-Mates *8* By J. ~Brian~ The bathroom smelled clean, but not a good clean. Hospital clean. I hate that smell. It brought back too many bad memories. It seemed to me that since I was very young I had been in and out of hospitals, probably because I was. Now here I am again. The difference now is nothing is wrong with me. I am finally back on track-physically. But what does that matter now? My whole world just fell apart. Nick has a girlfriend? How can that be? From the moment we met I knew I would love him. There was just something there, an instant connection. I heard him in the airport when we broke up, he told me. He said that he wouldn't give me another chance, but I didn't believe it. I mean it's me and Nick forever right? Frick and Frack. Why did I let my temper get the best of me that day? "What do you mean "Girlfriend"? How can you have a girlfriend? We've only been broken up for a couple of days and you've already replaced me? And with a woman? Nicky, you're gay, or did you forget?" "I prefer to think of myself as greedy. Just because I'm gay doesn't mean I can't have a girlfriend. Maybe I actually feel something for her Brian. Did you ever think of that? Sometimes it goes deeper than just a body Bri." Nick replied with sarcasm. "I know that! That's what me and you have. So don't stand there telling me that you're in love with someone else. Are you just using her?" "I never said that I was in love, I said that I felt a connection. I need someone to be in my life Brian. Someone that will be there for me and help me. I thought you would be that person for me. But when were together it hurts too much. Something always gets in the way." "But Nicky give us a chance. We haven't even been together that long. I know we've had some problems, and that's my fault. I just didn't know how to relate to you as my boyfriend. This isn't a normal relationship where we meet and date and fall in love. We're trying to go from best friends to lovers, and it hasn't been easy." "That should have made it easier. And I'm not just talking about the time that we have been a couple. Even before that, for almost seven years, something kept us apart. Do you know how long I waited for you? How many nights I cried myself to sleep because it hurt so bad." "Of course I know! I went through the same thing, baby. I cried too. I wanted you too. I waited just as long." "Yeah but you didn't wait alone. You had Leigh Ann. It must have really killed you. I knew I loved you, so I didn't waste my time with anybody else. So that makes me wonder just how much you really did love me." "I was with Leigh Ann to please my parents. You know that. What do you want from me? I know I screwed up so many things, but I love you. I've always loved you. Nick don't make all those lonely nights be for nothing. Please. I'm so sorry." "I know you're sorry Brian, but what does that fix? I feel like I don't know you anymore. Like everything's changed. We never fought in seven years and now we can't even stop." ~JC~ Damn what's taking him so long? I sent him over two hours ago. How long could it take. He better get the right color. I told him baby blue, just like Curly likes. Please Lance, hurry up. "Hey JC." "Ahhhh. Damn it Lance! Don't sneak up on me like that." "I just tapped you on your shoulder, Josh. Calm down." "Did you get them?" I asked excitedly. "Well hi and how are you to you too." "Don't play games Lance did you get them or not?" "No JC, I'm just holding a box with nothing in it. I figured that if they couldn't get baby blue roses, you would settle for just the box." "What are you the albino Chris Rock? What took so long?" "Well it took forever. They didn't have baby blue roses. I don't even think they exist. So first they had to get white roses and process some dye to add the color and get it just right. It was a..." "Blah, blah, blah-I don't care-how do they look? Please let them look all right." "Perfect Mr.Rude. They look like they came off a baby blue rose bush." "Let me see, let me see." Yes! They look great. Thank god. Justin is going to love these. "JC, before you go in to see Justin have you given any thought as to how you are going to explain the roses to him. I mean a dozen specially made roses isn't exactly a sudel sign of friendship, you know." "I'm gonna tell him the truth, silly. That I love him and I want to be with him." "Just be careful. He's been through a lot and don't rush him." "Stop worrying! I won't rush him. I just want to be with him, love him and protect him. Thanks for doing all this Poo Foo." "Stop calling me Poo Foo." "What's wrong with that?" "Well would you want to be called Poo Foo?" "I guess not, bye Poo Foo." Well here goes nothing. I just hope you can forgive me Curly. ~Justin~ God! How could this have happened to me? I'm in the hospital after being attacked. This just can't be happening. I know I should be grateful that I'm alive and that I didn't get raped but I'm just not! I feel dirty and gross-this is all my fault. I hurt everywhere. I must have sent off gay vibes or something. Why couldn't I control myself. Look at me! I have bruises all over, two black eyes. I'm such a wimp! I couldn't even fight those guys off. I might as well have just given myself to them. I should have fought harder. I mean I'm taller than JC and he got them off me. Oh god he probably thinks I wanted it, because I stopped fighting. I didn't though. I really didn't want it. "Hey J. How you doing?" "Hi, Josh." "Justin, look at me." "I don't want to." I whispered under my breath. "Justin please let me see your face...What's wrong? Why are you crying?" "It's nothing. I'm OK." "No it's not nothing. Tell me what's wrong?" JC said as he sat next to me on my bed. "I didn't want what happen to happen, JC. You have to believe me." I sobbed and turned away, ashamed of myself for being so weak. "Shhh Shhh, Baby J. I know you didn't. Why would you think I did?" "Because now you know I'm gay and you probably think I was trying to pick up on those guys, but I swear I wasn't. I didn't even know them. But your right about what you told me in Kevin's hotel room. I am a slut, I was probably strutting around, showing off and I asked for it." ~JC~ This was all my fault. Justin got beaten, groped and almost raped because of me. And now he thinks he deserved it because of the stuff I said to him. I couldn't live with the guilt. I just felt myself sliding off his bed, as I dropped to my knees. I cried uncontrollably as the box of roses fell and scattered all over the floor. I cried for all the pain I had caused Justin. I cried for the scattered roses on the floor, but mostly I cried for the love I knew I would lose when Justin learned the truth about his attack. "JC! JC! Your scaring me. What's wrong. Please..." "I...I..I ..It was all m.m..my fault." I stuttered through tears. "What was?" Justin asked in a panic stricken voice. ~Kevin~ Well from the way that JC has been hovering over Justin I guess it's pretty safe to say that I am clearly out of the picture, as far as Justin is concerned. First Nick, now Justin-just once I wish I could get a relationship off the ground. Well at least I can get a good nights sleep. I'm glad I came back to the hotel. I'll visit Just tomorrow. Maybe there will be less...What the hell was that? It's coming from Lance's room. "Lance are you in there?" "Go away, just go away." Lance screamed through the door. "What's wrong Lance? Open the door!" "NO! Leave me alone!" "Damn it open the door. I swear I will break it down, I swear I will Lance." I could hear the sound of glass breaking, banging noise. I didn't know what the heck Lance was doing in there. Finally he opened the door. "What...happened in here Lance? Did you do all this?" I asked as I saw his room completely trashed. The TV was kicked in, a mirror was broken on the floor, clothes scattered all over. It was a mess. "I..I...I don't know. I guess I just got upset. Please just go away, I need to be alone." "No I will not leave. I swear our two groups are falling apart at the seems. Now sit down Lance and tell me what's going on. What happened? What would make you do something like this?" "I don't know, I've just been dealing with some stuff that's come up again lately." ~Lance~ What's happening to me? Am I losing it? What must Kevin think of me? I swear I don't remember doing this to my room, but I know I had to have done it. I've got to pull myself together. This stuff can't be happening again. Please, I can't go through this again. ~Alberta, Mississippi-Statesville Penitentiary~ "Hank let's go. You've got an appointment with the parole board." "Yeah, Yeah, I'm coming. Like I could forget." "So who knows Hank. Maybe today will be your lucky day." "Damn well better be. I've been in this hell hole for a life time already." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Well Mr. Wilson you've served seven years of a ten year sentence. You've exhibited exemplary behavior while in our correction facility. But I would like to know, in your own words, why I and the other members of the board should grant your request for early parole." "I cannot tell you the amount of remorse and shame I feel over my actions. I have caused irreparable damage and I will carry the guilt with me for the rest of my life. But I feel that I would best serve the community by volunteering my services to organizations that can benefit from having a hard worker, as a way to atone for my crimes. Maybe I can at least do something positive with the rest of my life." ~Nick~ "I don't know what to do, just leave me alone please. Go wait in the lobby, I'll be out in a minute." I had to think. "Why so you can snort some more poison up your nose. I don't think so. We may or may not get back together, but one thing that I will not let happen, is you getting hooked on drugs. How did this happen Nicky? Where did you get it from?" Brian accused. "That's not what I was doing. I just need time to think. As for the coke. I got it from Shirley." "Shirley, so that's her name. Wait a minute, you were working on your record with Butch....Shirley Manson? She's your new 'girlfriend'? Well that explains a lot. Damn it Nick! Look at yourself. Your bent over a sink snorting cocaine to get through what's happening. Let me help you." "OK Bri, I'll let you help me. I'll let version 1.0 of Brian Littrell-the good guy-help me. But then I trust you and put my faith in you and wham version 2.0 of Bri, telling me off, dumping me, kicking me out of the group. I can't live like that. I've been through too much in life to put up with that too." "I know you have. I'm sorry. But you think it's so easy. Your not the one in this relationship that doesn't measure up. I mean do you think I don't know that I'm not as good looking as you. (Author's Note: Brian is better looking in my opinion, but for story purposes...) I'm not the one the fans love best or that record companies are falling over themselves to sign. But I'm happy for you, I am. But I'm so afraid to lose you, all the time. That's why I've been acting the way I have, and I hate myself for it, because that's not who I really am. It's just that I know I don't deserve you, but I can't live without you. I'm afraid you're gonna wake up one morning and ask yourself what you're doing with some corncob from Kentucky." "You know what? none of that matters to me, Brian. None of that stuff is real. Am I good looking? Yeah. But I'm not drop dead or anything. People just buy into an image. If I wasn't famous, I wouldn't stand out in a crowd, but that doesn't matter to me. I care about my soul, not my body. And right now neither are doing to good. I love you for your heart Bri, your spirit, not your body. Not that I mind your body. To me your the most physically attractive person I've ever known, and that's because I love you. I wouldn't want to change a thing about you." "Not even my wide nose or my short manly stature." Brian teased. "Not even that, but...maybe you could workout your backside a little more, that ass is huge." I joked back. "Hey I don't have a big butt." Brian sulked. "I was just kidding. I love you despite you short comings." "Hey my comings are not short." "You're a pervert." "So does this mean were back together?" Brian asked swiftly catching me off guard. I didn't know? Did it? ~Alberta, Mississippi-Statesville Penitentiary~ "Hank Wilson, you are a free man. There is a cab up front waiting to take you to your new residence. Just remember you have to register in the community you choose to live in." "Yes I know. Thank you sir." "Well good luck, Hank. Pull your life together and be productive." "I intend to be very productive. Achieve all my goals." ~Hank~ I'm on my way James. I warned you about not keeping secrets. You've been a bad, bad boy. Now you have to pay for what you've done to me. Bye bye Lance. You really should have known better. Maybe I'll go after some of your friends too. TBC COMING SOON: I've had a lot (and I mean a lot) of requests to pair up Brian and Justin in this story. That's not going to happen. I was interested in them as a couple at first too, but didn't want to copy JM, plus he already has the best series about them. I've decided however that I will start a new series featuring Brian and Justin. It should be out sometime in October. It won't be in the same format as this story, however. It will be straight up narration. BYE-J.