Date: Sat, 10 Mar 2001 06:53:11 -0800 (PST) From: Author James Subject: Tales of a Real Dark Knight Chapter 21 Disclaimer: This story, though maybe not in this chapter but in subsequent chapters, will have celebrities in it. I have no knowledge of their sexuality and this is not intended to imply their sexuality. This is all from my own mind. Scary!! People actually get a glimpse into my mind!!! Buffy, the Vampire Slayer, Angel and all related characters created by Joss Whedon. Copyright 20th Century Fox. Batman, and all related characters created by Bob Kane. Copyright DC Comics and Warner Bros. X-MEN, and all related characters created by Stan Lee. Copyright Marvel Comics and 20th Century Fox. Star Trek and all related characters created by Gene Roddenberry. Copyright Paramount Studios. I don't know for sure if I will use all the above elements, but just in case, I have myself covered. In this story, which has been floating around in my head most of my life, you will find many universes merging, as the above copyrights reveal. I hope you all enjoy this. I appreciate any feedback that you may want to give. This story doesn't deal so much with sex, sex, sex, but more of my feelings that I struggled with and am starting to come to terms with. Part of his background is mine. I do hope that you enjoy it!!! jmsotc@yahoo.com Chapter 21 Where Do Broken Hearts Go "What am I doing here?" Justin said. "You were brought here." "By who?" "Turic." "Who the hell is Turic?" "Your ex-boyfriend?" Justin looked at JC in surprise. "Boyfriend? I'm not a fag!" That word echoed in my ears over and over again as it's simple use brought a profound meaning to me. The spell on Justin wasn't to control him but to make him a homosexual. It was almost like a love potion. And now it was broken. "What?" JC asked in shock. "You're what?" "I'm not a homo! Where did you guys come up with that crazy idea?" I dropped to my knees. "I'm going home." Justin walked out the door with Chris and Joey helping him. JC and Lance looked over at me. They could tell I didn't want to be disturbed so they left. Garrett looked at me and then left. I stayed on my knees and the tears fell as my heart broke. A mist began to form in front of me and an eerie wind began to blow. I looked up and wiped my eyes. Slowly the mist began to take shape and Turic appeared. "Man, that's going to take some time to heal." "What the hell?" "Oh, you're still here. So what did you think of my spell? Pretty nifty, huh? I am a master." "Why? Why did you do that?" "Because I can. Too bad he doesn't love you. But he'll come back to me. He has no choice. You see, I can't ever die." "Liar!" I grabbed a stake and ran at him, plunging it into his heart. He turned to dust. Then the dust formed back into Turic. "Told you," he said with a smile. "Justin is gone and you can never get him back!" Turic laughed. He laughed so loud that it seemed to echo throughout the city. "Noooooooooooo!" I awoke with a start. Was Turic still alive? No, he was dead. It was only a dream. A dream based in reality. Justin was not gay. It was only a spell put on him by a sorcerer vampire. Once I staked Turic, his spell over Justin was broken...and so was my heart. Justin and I were in love. It was true. It was real. But why didn't it last? Why did it have to end like this? Why? Realizing that I could not come up with any answers, I showered and dressed. I didn't feel like eating so I didn't. I sat at the table looking out the window. I had no drive to do anything. No drive to clean, no drive to run errands, no drive to move. I just sat there until a knock came to my door. I let it go. I didn't want to speak with anyone. The knock came again, only a little bit louder. I ignored it. The knock came third time and a voice said, "Eric, it's me, Garrett." "Answer the door!" the neighbor from across the hall yelled. Reluctantly I obliged. I got up and opened the door. "What do you want?" "I came to talk to you." "I don't have anything to say." "You must have something to say after what happened last night." "My heart was ripped out last night. Someone I loved and was intimate with doesn't even know it happened and would be repulsed if he did know. What would you like me to say? Ouch?" "Eric, I'm being serious. You need to talk about it." "What I need right now, Garrett, is to be left alone so I can cry and get this pain and hurt out of my system so I don't go off and kill someone, namely myself. Now, if you would be kind enough to oblige me, I can get on with it." "Eric, at this moment you are unstable. And with this ability you have you could really hurt someone. Let me help you." "I don't want help. I don't want to cope with this. All I want to do is cry. Now leave...me...alone!" I slammed the door in Garrett's face. I didn't want to talk to or see anyone. I had too much to sort through. I had too much to work out. And too much to cry over. The weekend seemed to go by so slow with me crying and feeling so lonely and rejected. The phone sat silent. I didn't know if that was better or worse. Could I deal with one of the guys talking to me? I went over and turned the radio on only to hear Roxette singing "It Must Have Been Love" Make believing We're together That I'm sheltered By your heart I began to cry yet again. It must have been love But it's over now It was all that I wanted Now I'm living without It must have been love But it's over now It's where the water flows It's where the wind blows I collapsed on the bed. "Justin's gone" kept going over and over in my head. "What am I going to do?" On Monday morning I awoke and looked at the sunshine. It seemed to be mocking me. Determined to go on, I went to work as usual. But I wasn't my usual chipper self. I was strangely quiet. Debbie met me at the desks. "Good morning, Eric." "Hi, Debbie. How was your weekend?" "It was fabulous! I had the most wonderful time!" She shared with me her exciting weekend. I was happy, though, she didn't ask how mine was. I wasn't ready to talk to anyone about it. I went into the office and checked the morning schedule. I had to talk with a child who was having some difficulty in school. Poor kid had ADD and the parents refused to recognize it. I remember Joshua telling me about her. Josh had informed me of the things he was doing to help her get some type of control. I followed his recommendations and continued with his therapy. She seemed to be happy, but still frustrated at the difficulty she would have. I decided to wait before I recommended to the parents that she begin taking medication. Not all ADD children need medication. But it's good when it's an extreme case. I had talked with a child who was given a hard time at school because he was overweight. His schoolmates didn't understand why he was overweight. Their teasing only served to make him eat more and do less. He was getting a "Don't Care" attitude, which is not a good attitude at all. I gave him some advice and inquired as to what his doctor prescribed. I encouraged him to keep up the good work and sent him home. Just before lunch David Gallagher was to come in. I wondered whether he would be bringing Michael. He did not. "So how are you doing, David?" "I'm doing okay. Things are getting better. I'm dealing with things a little better." "Good. How's Michael?" "That's actually why I'm here today. His health is declining. The doctor's put him on an oxygen tank that he has to take with him everywhere." Once he mentioned it, I remember seeing it at the restaurant Justin took me to Friday night. Quickly, I dismissed the memory of being with Justin. Now was not the time to cry. "How are you dealing with that?" "I'm scared. I don't want to lose him. He's helped me get so comfortable with my sexual orientation and myself. He 's been a Godsend. I don't know what I would do without him." "What have the doctors said?" "They assure me that he will get better. But I don't think so. His health has deteriorated quickly. There are times when he has to stop talking just to get a breath from his oxygen machine. If he were getting better, he wouldn't have to rely on it so much." David talked for over an hour and then departed. I felt so bad for him. The doctors were encouraging him, and indeed I wished for the best, but it was a good possibility that Michael would die. I had to prepare David for that eventuality. What kind of psychologist would I be if I didn't help him face reality? I remember a line from Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan. Kirk told Lt. Savak "How we deal with death is as least as important as how we deal with life." We had to learn to deal with the things life throws at us whether it's a death, life-changing injury or even a break-up. I went out for a walk during my lunch break. It was good to get out and get some fresh air. Just walking helped relieve the frustration and anxiety that I was feeling right now. I got lemonade from a stand and went to sit in the park and enjoy nature. As I sat there, I heard footsteps approach. Turning I found Jessica walking up to me. "Hi," I greeted turning back. "Hi. Mind if I sit down?" "No. Go right ahead." Jessica sat down next to me and took a deep breath. "Garrett told me what happened with Turic." I made a noise of acknowledgement. "He's worried about you." "Garrett would worry if the sun rose in the west and set in the east. Come to think of it, so would everyone else." "Nice try at a joke but this is serious. Garrett is very worried. I can't say I blame him. What happened is very overwhelming." "Which event are you talking about? The fact that I made objects do what I wanted? Or the fact that Justin was under a spell that made him love other men?" Tears welled up again. "Damn." I stood and started to walk. "Eric," Jessica called to me as she stood up and run up beside me. "Don't try to hide the pain or fight the tears. It's not good." "You know, I know that. I'm a Child Psychologist for goodness sake. But I don't want to be weak. I don't want to be vulnerable. Not any more. I opened myself up to Justin and now I'm broken apart inside." "It happens. Pain happens. We have to deal with it and move on." "I just want to move on. I don't want to cry. I don't want to hurt." "Nobody wants to hurt, Eric. Nobody. But that's life. You can't let it control you. You have to live your life in spite of the pain. Eventually the pieces will be picked up as you live each day knowing the next will be better. You can't pick up the pieces by ignoring the pain. You pick them up by dealing with them and living." She and I walked for a few minutes before I said anything to her. "You're right. I guess I needed to hear that from someone who is objective." "Oh, I'm not objective. I don't want you to hurt. I just prefer to tell it like it is so people can deal and move on. Nobody likes a moper." "You're sympathy is so helpful," I said sarcastically. "Good. You're getting your sense of humor back. That's going to be a great help for you." "Did Garrett tell you how he found my apartment?" "Yeah. He followed you." "Wonderful. So how did your trip go? What was it all about?" "There was this demon from Germany that the Council was worried about. He was tough and could disappear in one place and appear in another at will." "Really?" "Yeah. He was hard to track, too, because he was dark blue and had this long pointy tail. Hard to see at night. He got away, but he did leave the country. Once they get a bead on him, they will let me know." Jessica and I walked for a little while longer before I had to take my leave of her and return to work. Dr. Allison and I were going to visit the college today and I didn't want to be late. I arrived at the office in time to meet Dr. Allison at the front desk. "Ah, you made it in time. Debbie said you were going out for lunch." "I had a nice walk." "Good. Now, let's get going." Dr. Allison and I went down to the underground garage and got in his car. Within a few minutes, we were on our way to the school. For the first time since Friday, I felt something other than hurt. It was good. I was starting to overcome the pain. We arrived at the school and I was overwhelmed by it's sheer size. I had never attended a school so large before. It was enormous. Then I remembered on Buffy the Vampire Slayer when Willow and Buffy first started college. Willow was talking about the "energy" and the education "thrusting" into everyone "spurting" knowledge. I couldn't help but laugh. "What's so funny?" Dr. Allison asked. "Nothing. I was just remembering something." Dr. Allison and I went into one of the many buildings and into their offices. A woman was talking to what had to be one of the school secretaries. "I want them contacted over this." "Yes, ma'am." The woman looked up. "Ah, George! Good to see you!" "Hello, Kate! Good to see you as well!" They shook hands and the woman looked over at me. "Who is this?" "This is Eric McCoy, the young man I was talking with you about." "Oh, nice to meet you," she said shaking my hand. "I've heard a lot about you." "It's nice to meet you, as well. I hope everything you've heard was good." "It was." "Kate," Dr. Allison said. "I thought Eric could look around the school today, maybe check out the classes and talk with the staff." "Sure. Let me get some papers for you." Kate went over to a file cabinet and pulled out several pieces of paper then returned to us. "Here, Eric. Here's a map of the building. The Psychology and Sociology classes are here in this building. Feel free to look around." "Thanks." I took my leave of them and walked through the halls. I knew what Willow was referring to in the TV show. Just being here made me feel so much smarter. Suddenly, the doors opened and students filled the halls. Looking I felt old. Most of these guys and girls were in their late teens and early twenties. Here I am in my mid-twenties. Someone bumped into me and their books scattered on the floor. "Great," they muttered. I turned and knelt down to help. "Sorry," I said to the man. "No, it's my fault. I should have been looking." I helped him pick up the books and handed them to him. I looked in his eyes and noticed something in them, something I couldn't put my finger on at the moment. "Do you go here?" he asked me. "I'm starting this fall." "That's cool." "Kind of busy here, isn't it? For it being summer, I mean." "Oh, yeah. It's normally like this in the fall. But almost everyone wanted to keep up studying. Their psychology department is awesome here. Are you going to take psychology?" "Yeah." "Any particular field of interest?" "Child Psychology." "Hmm," was his only reply, "well, I must get to class. See you in a few weeks." With that he left, along with most of the other students in the halls, as they filtered into their classes. I looked around a little more, and then decided to return to the offices. There I found Dr. Allison talking with Kate. "Back so soon?" Dr. Allison asked. "Yeah. I'm kind of tired. It's been interesting so far. Perhaps I'll come back again." "That would be fine with me," Kate said. "Well, then I guess we are going. Kate, it was good to see you again." "It was good to see you, too, George. Eric, it was nice meeting you. Please, don't hesitate if you want to talk or want to come back." "Thank you." Dr. Allison and I left and returned to the Center. From there, I got a cab home. My mind started wandering back to what happened with Justin. I didn't want to get depressed over it again. Being depressed takes away too much energy that can be used for more important things. I got a quick bite to eat and decided that I would patrol. So, I suited up and went out after the sunset. To Be Continued... As always, if you have something you would like to share with me about this chapter or the subject matter, feel free to email me. If you've never gone through what Eric has gone through, trust me, you will. Though I hope you never do, I'm sure you will. Just remember the first time you experience something, whether it be good or bad, it will seem fantastic. But as you experience it again and again, it is less and less fantastic. Love will always be great, but you will become familiar with it, which is good. Pain will still hurt, but you will be able to deal with it much more easily.