Date: Sat, 12 Jul 2003 12:35:49 -0700
From: Candy Girl <love_and_hugz@hotmail.com>
Subject: Tearing-Up-My-Heart-4

Message: Hey Everyone!!! It's me again, Candy! Sorry it's been so long,
with school and all we havn't had much time to write but now we might
post once more before september but you never know. Again a HUGE thanks
to my co-author Kay and just have fun! E-mail us!
Love_and_hugz@hotmail.com or Sweet_Love_99@hotmail.com!

Love and Hugz

Candy Ouellette


Disclaimer: This story is fiction. We do not know the Backstreet Boys or
their sexual prefrences though we like to guess;) Do not read this if M/M
sex bothers you, if it is illegal in your country/area or if you are
underage, otherwish enjoy our story......


Tearing Up My Heart 4

******************

Nick stormed out of the studio, jumped into his car and drove home. As he
walked up the steps fuming he remembered that Angel was there. Nick
stopped at his door and sat down on the top step to think.

As he was thinking about what to do about Angel, she opened the door and
stood behind him. She said,

"Hey Nicky, what's wrong?"

Nick spun around to see angel looking all innocent. He had pure hatred in
his eyes. Nick stood up, looked at Angel and said,

"You are a boyfriend stealing little bitch you know that??? I can't
believe you! I really loved AJ and you had to go and ruin it for me!!!
Get out of my fucking house and don't ever come back!!!"

Angel looked hurt, and then she got angry and replied,

"Oh it's MY fault I love your boyfriend? I'm sorry Mister Carter, but I
just had to AJ how I felt, No matter what and if you don't want me here
FINE!!! I'll get my things and leave. I'll stay with AJ!"

"Oh no you won't, you conniving little whore. You can go straight home in
an hour. Get your things ready, I'm calling the airport."

Half an hour later, Nick was driving Angel to the airport. After 15
minutes of pulling strings he finally got the ticket so now they were
sitting in Nicks car listening to "She Loves me Not" by Papa Roach, Not
even saying a word to each other.

The song ended as Nick pulled up to the airport, let Angel out and drove
off. Nick turned off the radio, pulled the car over and thought about
everything.

In the end, Nick couldn't come up with a conclusion, so he turned on the
radio to clear his head and out came the song "Jesse's girl" and Nick
thought to him self "Great Idea! I'll call Jesse and see what he
thinks!" So Nick turned on the car and drove home.

When he got home, he jumped out of the car and went up the front steps 2
at a time. He ran into the kitchen, picked up the phone and dialed
Jesse's number. After 2 rings Jesse picked up.

"Hello?"

"Hey Jesse it's me, Nick."

"Oh...what do you want?"

"Well I want to...that is...to say...I..."

That was it, Nick just broke down crying.

"Hey hey, Nick hun! Calm down....Now what's wrong?"

Nick started to calm down and remembered he wanted to ask Jesse some
questions.

"It's...AJ...Jesse? Can I ask you something? I really need someone to
talk to right now."

"Ok Nick why don't you come over then? How about in a half hour?"

Nick agreed and Jesse gave him his address, and they said there goodbyes.

Nick had a shower, did his hair and got dressed. He wore dark jeans and a
black T. Nick grabbed his keys and his coat and opened the door. In front
of him, on his top step with his back facing Nick was AJ, Crying.

'Fuck that,' Nick thought to himself as he turned and walked inside. He
heard the phone ring and rushed to pick it up.

"Nick, hey it's me. I got in last night from Jersey, and you never called
once. What's up with that huh?" said a familiar voice.

"Misty! I'm so glad you called. I really need a friend right now," Nick
said. "I..." he started but was cut off. Misty hung up! Nick went over to
the couch and sat down dejected. It seems nothing was working well for
him. He put his head in his hands and couldn't believe how shitty things
had turned out. Just a few days before he was as happy as ever; and now
he just wanted to be alone. Nobody loved him anymore.

*******************************

The door bell rang, but Nick ignored it. He knew it was AJ, and he didn't
want to see him. How could he do that? Not only was it his baby sister
but, she was still a baby!

The door opened and Nick peered through his fingers. He couldn't see
anyone, but then he felt two slender arms wrap around him and he knew it
was Misty. He leaned into her and softly let the words tumble out. She
held him and told him it was all ok. Nick looked up into her soft eyes,
and saw AJ standing behind her.

"What's he doing here?" Nick asked.

"He was waiting outside for you! He is madly in love with you, and he
wants to talk with you and works this out. And I think you should,"
Misty shot back. Nick shot them looks of steel, and he turned and ran up
the stairs slamming his bedroom door and locking it. Misty and AJ looked
at each other then climbed the stairs. They knocked on Nick's door and it
burst open. Nick pushed AJ away from him and stood in front of Misty.

"I am not mad at you. I still love you, and you will always be my best
friend. But I don't know if I can forgive him for this. It's my sister,
its Angel," Nick said stonily. He turned and looked at AJ, "She's
fourteen AJ, that's sick." He handed AJ something, gave Misty a hug and
went back into his room. "I just wanna be alone right now. Please, go
home," he said and softly closed the door.

AJ looked at what Nick placed in his hand and he started to cry again. He
walked away from his lover as Misty trailed behind him. AJ sat down at
Nick's kitchen table and slumped over. The words that were spoken between
him and nick replayed in his mind.

*********************************

"Ummm....I have something to give to you. Would you mind if I gave it to
you now?" AJ asked politely.

"Umm No of course not go ahead." Nick said as AJ reached into his pocket
to reveal a small black velvet box. Nick inhaled deeply thinking the AJ
was proposing to him.

"Now I know what you think this is, but it's not an engagement ring. It's
a promise ring. When I give this to you it makes a promise that while you
wear it you are in love with me and that you will never betray me. It
also shows my love for you and promises that I too will be faithful and I
will not betray or lie to you. I hope that you Nickolas

Carter will take this promise ring and treasure it. Will you?!?"

"Of course, AJ, I love you." Nick said while AJ place the ring on his
finger.

"I love you too."

***********************************

AJ placed the ring on the table as he got up to leave. He had forgotten
his promise; he'd betrayed Nick like he vowed to never do. No wonder the
boy hated him. AJ slipped his sunglasses back on, and got in his car to
drive home. He knew things could never go back to the way they were, and
he knew it was his fault.

*****

After AJ left Misty went back up to Nick's room and knocked softly, Nick
said to her

"If AJ is still here I am not opening this door!!!"

Misty softly said to Nick

"No Nick it's just me, I...I think we need to talk, can I come in?"

Nick opened the door and let Misty in.

"Hey Lil' Nicky, Do you remember way back when we were dating" Misty said
as she sat on Nicks bed and patted a spot next to her and Nick sat down.

"Yea Misty, We sure had a lot of fun didn't we?"

"Yea, do you remember the time we went to that restaurant? What's it
called?"

"Ah yes The Bel-Noir."

"Yea and we had such an amazing time at the club that night, hey Nick one
question...Why did you break up with me any ways?"

"Well Misty I knew that I love you just in a different way then I love
A....I mean I never loved you like a girlfriend but I love you like a
sister...Does that make sense?"

Misty wrapped her arms around Nick and said

"Yes Nick, It makes perfect sense now."

Just then they both heard a knock at the door. Nick jumped up and ran
down the stairs to go get it hoping it wouldn't be AJ. When Nick looked
out the peep hole he saw a familiar face. He slowly opened the door and
there stood Jesse. Suddenly Nick remembered where he was going when he
opened the door to see AJ's back to him. Nick mumbled out,

"Shit."

And Jesse looked at him with concern and replied back,

"Uhhh...Hi Nick, weren't you supposed to be at my house 1/2 and hour
ago???"

"Umm...Yea sorry I ran into some trouble, well I mean I ran into an AJ on
my front porch."

"Oh, you wanna tell me about it?"

"Yea sure come on in."

Nick said as he opened the door and invited Jesse in, Just then Misty
tumbled down the stairs and looked at Jesse. She introduced herself and
pulled Nick into the kitchen while Jesse got comfortable. Misty looked at
Nick and asked,

"So to get over AJ you decide to fuck some random guy? Nick this won't
help!"

Nick chuckled and told Misty,

"This is AJ's ex. I asked to go over to his house and talk and when I
didn't show he got concerned so he came over. Don't worry Misty I am not
going to fuck him."

"Ok, Well I should go anyways, I've got to get some sleep so I can be up
for work tomorrow. You know us Subway managers have high stress jobs!"

Misty hugged Nick and they said their good-byes. After he shut the door,
he went into the living room, sat down and talked with Jesse. That night
Jesse and Nick ended up talking about AJ and how he was an ass. In the
end Nick felt much happier to be able to vent like that. So he invited
Jesse for Dinner and a movie. They ended up ordering a pay-per-view movie
and ordering some pizza. They both feel asleep on the couch at some point
during the movie.

***The Next Day***

AJ really needed someone to talk to but he didn't want to talk to Brian,
Howie, Kevin or especially Nick. He hadn't seen any of the other
backstreet boys since leaving the studio. So he finally figured out one
person he could talk to. Jesse. So at about 11 AM AJ went over to Jesse's
house and knocked on the door. He stood there waiting for about 5 minutes
and then knocked again. There wasn't a response so he pulled out his keys
and used his house key that he forgot to give back when they broke up. AJ
searched the entire house but couldn't find him, so he decided to check
and see if anyone had called him on Jesse's phone. As he flipped through
the numbers on the call display and saw Nick's number. Nick had called
Jesse last night. All of the sudden AJ couldn't breath. He knew where
Jesse was. Jesse was with Nick. His Nick, his Jesse. Oh god. He almost
passed out. When AJ started breathing again, he left Jesse's, locked the
door and drove strait to Nicks.

When AJ got to Nick's house he debated over going inside. What if Jesse
was out grocery shopping or he was working? Well he needed to see Nick
anyways and if Jesse was there he'd be killing 2 birds with one stone
right? Well eventually AJ made it up to Nick's front porch, rang the
doorbell and waited. Suddenly the door swung open and there he was
standing face to face with a very sleepy Jesse.

"Stop ringing the doorbell, Nick's asleep!!!"

"Yea I bet he is!!!"

"What are you talking about?"

"I bet you rode Nick so hard last night..." AJ just kept going on not
even realizing that Nick had woken up to his screaming and had poked his
head out the door. Nick was furious! He just started yelling and most of
it AJ couldn't understand. What he could make out was,

"YOU FUCKIN ASS! WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE COMING HERE AND YELLING AT WHO
EVER YOU WANT! I DIDN'T EVEN HAVE SEX WITH HIM..."

Well Nick went on for a good 15 minutes and AJ was standing there bawling
his eyes out. Eventually Nick pushed Jesse into the house and slammed the
door in AJ's face. Nick turned to Jesse and apologized for his actions.

"God I am so sorry Jesse. I didn't mean to freak out it's just he makes
me so FURIOUS!!!!"

Nick kept talking and going on and on and suddenly Jesse kissed him. Full
on the lips. Nick was shocked but didn't stop it. Eventually they both
pulled away and Nick looked down at the ground and mumbled,

"Ummm....Maybe you should, ya know go."

"Ok Nick if that's what you want. I'll leave. Bye Nick."

Jesse left and closed the door quietly and whispered out,

"I see why AJ loves him so much."

Nick just grabbed the phone and sat on his couch and called Misty.

"Misty, you wanna go grab lunch or something?"

"Yea sure."

"Ok I'll pick you up in an hour ok?"

"Alright sexy, I'll be waiting!"

"You're such a geek!"

"So? You're such a fruit Cake!"

"So? Love ya Misty, Bye!!!"

"Ok Bye!!"

Nick went for a shower and got dressed. He left the house and noticed
that AJ's car was still outside on the curb. Nick just ignored it and got
into his car and drove off, leaving AJ crushed.

When Nick went to Misty's and they both decided on Denny's for lunch then
a bit of shopping down town. At lunch they talked about Misty's trip and
while they were shopping Nick bought Misty tons of stuff. After shopping
they went back to Misty's. Nick and Misty spent the rest of the day
chatting and hanging out at Misty's. Misty noticed a thin gold chain
around Nick's neck, but the end of the chain was under his shirt. There
was something on the end of that chain, and Misty noticed it. Misty
waited until he was close to her face and grabbed the chain out of his
shirt. At the end she found a small gold ring. She remembered it as the
ring that AJ left on Nick's table last night. She asked Nick,

"Why do you have this on?"

"Well it's mine. He gave it to me and when I went to get a coffee and sit
at the table I saw it. I couldn't bring myself to throw it out or to
actually put it on my finger so I put it on the necklace. Why?" Nick said
getting all defensive.

"I was just wondering."

"Well I don't think I'll ever put it on my finger again but it reminds me
of how happy I was a few weeks ago. I don't know, I hate to part with
it." Nick said absently fingering it.

"It's ok to miss him Nick. It's really ok."

Nick started quietly crying.

"I don't want to miss him! I don't want to love him, he hurt me! He
betrayed me. He promised never to lie to me, and he did! And I still love
him. God, I'm an idiot!"

Misty gathered Nick up in her arms and let him cry until he fell asleep.

***********************

A few days later, Misty was working at the counter when Jesse walked into
the Subway. They were talking and agreed to hang out when Misty got off
in half an hour.

"So why did you kiss Nick last night?" Misty questioned Jesse as soon as
they were in his car.

"It shut him up didn't it?" Came the reply. Misty found herself staring
at Jesse's lips, they were beautiful. 'Too bad he's gay,' she thought,
'he's sexy as hell.'

Jesse looked at Misty and saw thought in her eyes. He asked
"Ummm....Misty what's wrong?"

"Oh...Ah...nothing...I'm just tired....and hungry...wanna get some food?"

"Ok...how about we go to my place and have some pizza delivered?"

"Ok sounds like fun...and then we can figure out how to get Nick and AJ
back together...heeheehee!"

*********

At Jesse's...

"So Misty...how's the pizza? I hope you like pepperoni!"

"Yea it's my favorite! Thanks Jesse!"

"No Problem girl!"

"Hey you wanna go to my house and watch a movie? I have a big screen TV
in my bedroom...I also have Pay-per view so we can watch a cool flick!"

"Ok sounds like fun! Let's go"

Misty and Jesse got into Jesse's car and drove to Misty's house. On the
way there they devised a plan to get AJ and Nick back together. When they
got to Misty's they went up to Misty's room, laid on the bed and watched
Kate and Leopold. Both of them had fallen asleep before the movie ended.

************************

The next morning Nick came over to Misty's to drive her to work. When
Nick rang the doorbell no one came to the door, so he used the key that
Misty had given him to get in. He went to the kitchen and made him and
Misty coffee before going up to wake her. Nick got upstairs and knocked
softly on Misty's door. He figured 'what the hell, I've seen her naked
before' and opened the door to see Misty and Jesse, in bed, Nice and
cuddled up. Nick started screaming in a high pitched voice,

"OH MY GOD!!! MISTY GET UP!!! OH MY GOD! JESSE! YOUR GAY!" and some other
words that no one could even understand.

Misty and Jesse woke up, looked at each other and started blushing. Misty
got up and put her hand over Nick's mouth to shut him up and said,

"Nick, this is not what it looks like ok? So just chill out and stop
yelling!"

Nick stopped yelling and looked at them. Suddenly he remembered why he
was there. "Hey Misty, don't you have to go to work?"
"Shit!" she exclaimed, and rushed around the house trying to get ready.
They left and Jesse, followed in his car. Afterwards, Nick went back to
Jesse's place with him to talk.

************************

"So that's what's happened and I don't know what to do about it. I mean,
it's AJ and I love him but well, it's hard after he did that," Nick
finished. Jesse nodded and thought for a moment. The silence killed Nick,
and he fidgeted like a little child.

"Well, knowing AJ he was probably drunk at the time. Or high. Or both.
And while what he did was wrong, it was probably not telling you that
made it the worst. So he kissed her, he said he didn't feel anything
right? Besides, she's way too young for him and despite everything he
may be, one thing he's definitely not is a pedophile. So he made a
mistake, a huge one, but he still loves you. And if you can forgive him
and give him another chance I think you can trust him again too," He said
softly. Nick knew he was right. It was a lot to think about, and it hurt.
He thanked Jesse and gave him a hug before he left. He knew he had to go
home and call AJ. They had to talk.

When Nick got home AJ was sitting on his front steps taking drags off his
cigarette. Nick longed to hold him and kiss him and tell him it was ok,
but it wasn't ok. Nick opened the door and motioned him in. Wordlessly,
they sat at the kitchen table looking at each other. AJ nervously drummed
his fingers on the table and Nick, noticing the chipped black nail polish
on his fingers, laughed. AJ looked like someone had just slapped him.
Nick slid over to sit closer to AJ and smiled softly, "It's ok you know.
I....I...I forgive you," he sighed. He placed a tender kiss on AJ's lips
and he could taste the remnants of the cigarette. AJ pulled away and
looked at him warily.

"You do?"

"Yup," he replied and suddenly they were kissing again, only now it was
more forceful as they made their way to Nick's room ripping off clothing
on the way, they're lips never leaving each other's.

They made love all night and when dawn was breaking AJ's eyes fluttered
open. He looked down at his lover sleeping in his arms and traced the
patterns of the early-morning sun across his arms, face, and chest. He
sighed as he played with the straw colored hair fanning out on the
pillowcase and brushed a strand off of the closed blue eyes. AJ vowed to
make it up to Nick someday soon. He knew that things would be ok with the
two of them; Nick didn't go back to people that hurt him that badly. AJ
smiled as he kissed Nick's forehead softly, and Nick cuddled closer to
his bare chest murmuring and the two of them drifted off to sleep again.


***********TBC....Hopefully***********