Date: Wed, 05 Jul 2000 02:11:50 CDT
From: Colleen Hasiuk <reader_colleen@hotmail.com>
Subject: Tears In Your Eyes Chapter 4

Story Title:  Tears In Your Eyes
Chapter Title:  "Moments of Gold"
Author's Name:  Colleen Hasiuk
E-mail:  reader_colleen@hotmail.com

*********

DISCLAIMER:  I do not know any of these people, neither do I know their
sexual orientations... this story is NOT REAL.  If you're too young to be
reading this, please go away.  And, I am a "chick", so don't expect much
sex. I've managed to get this far without any, so don't expect it any time
soon, K?  This is a character story, not a quickie.  Feedback is good
(reader_colleen@hotmail.com).  Thanks go out to Joey, Becca, Kief and
Hamado.  You guys are the greatest!  Without you guys who read this and then
write to me, there would be no story.  At risk of sounding too sappy,
onwards to the good stuf!  *grin*

I have a webpage for the story now!  It can be found at
http://www.geocities.com/reader_colleen.

*********

Moments of Gold

	The interview went well, with both JC and Lance putting on a happy face for
the media.  One thing that all 5 of them had learned over the years was how
to be good actors.  It was something they were used to by now, and the other
guys didn't even question their sudden change.  Once they were back in the
limo, they started discussing what they wanted to do for the rest of the
day.

	"Mall!" was Justin's vote.

	"Clubbing!" Joey yelled.

	"Sleep," JC called.  Everyone smirked at him.

	"Movies," Chris offered.

	"Whatever," Lance said.  They were at an impasse and they sat there,
looking at each other.

	"Now what?" Joey asked.

	"Is there a movie theatre at the mall?" JC asked Justin.

	"I think so.  And we can go clubbing afterwards," Justin said, catching on
to JC's compromising.

	"Sounds good.  Who's up for a movie?" Chris sang.  JC looked at him weird.

	"Are you still on that sugar high from earlier?"

	"Yup!" Chris laughed.  "Movies?  Anyone?"

	"What movie?" Lance asked.

	"What's playing?" Justin wanted to know.

	"Shaft; Mission:  Impossible 2; Me, Myself and Irene; The Patriot; Chicken
Run; Gone in 60 Seconds; and a couple of others," Joey said.  The others
looked at him, stunned.

	"How did you know that?" Justin demanded.

	"I'm God.  I see all, I know all," Joey responded.  Lance gave him an
ironic smile which Joey pretended not to catch.

	"OK, God.  What movie?"

	"I want to see Shaft," Joey said.

	"Shaft," Justin and Chris agreed.

	"Chicken Run," Lance shyly said.  Justin giggled.

	"Are you serious?"

	"You guys seem to be asking me that a lot lately," Lance teased.  Justin
blushed.

	"Sorry," he said.  Lance smugly grinned at Joey as if to say 'this time it
wasn't me!'  Joey stuck his tongue out in response.  Lance went to grab it
but he ended up hitting Chris in the head as Chris moved between them.

	"What was that for?" Chris yelped.  Lance looked down.

	"Sorry, Chris," he said quietly.  Joey frowned but Lance didn't see it.

	"It's OK, Scoop.  I have a hard head!" Chris joked.  Lance didn't crack a
smile, so Chris moved away from that subject.

	"OK, we have three for Shaft, one for Chicken Run and one undecided," Joey
summerized.

	"I'll go for either one," JC spoke up.  "But I think it would be a better
idea if I went with you guys," he said, turning to Joey, Chris and Justin.
Justin gave him a 'look', but otherwise remained silent.

	"Well Lance shouldn't go alone," Chris said.  "Management would kill us if
any of us went somewhere alone!"

	"I can see Shaft another time," Joey quickly said.  "Lance and I will go
and catch Chicken Run.  OK with you, Scoop?" Joey asked.  Lance nodded.  The
five of them called their bodyguards to tell them of the plans, then made
arrangements as to where to meet afterwards.  Once everything -and everyone-
was settled, they were on their way.  Joey and Lance's movie started first,
so they left the other three as soon as they arrived at the theatre.  JC
watched them walk off with a heavy heart, but he quickly swallowed his
feelings and trailed after Justin and Chris as they headed for the
concession area.

	"You want something, Josh?" Justin asked after he had ordered his food.  JC
shook his head.

	"I'm not hungry," he said.  Justin frowned at him and turned back to the
cashier.

	"He'll have a large popcorn, large Coke and a bag of Twizzlers," Justin
said.  JC glared at him.

	"J-"

	"Shut up," Justin ordered.  "You are eating this food if I have to shove it
down your throat!  Come on, JC, you need to eat!"

	"I had breakfast," JC protested.  Chris came up behind them and smacked JC
upside the head.

	"Big deal," Chris said.  Justin frowned and quietly moved to stand behind
Chris.

	"Chris, for JC it was a big deal," Justin said softly in Chris's ear.
Chris immediately blushed.

	"Sorry, JC," Chris apologized.  JC gave him a half-smile.

	"Don't worry about it," JC said as he took his food from the cashier while
Justin paid.  JC protested, but Justin held his ground, until JC pulled out
the one thing he knew would work- JC offered to buy him ice-cream later.  JC
knew that trick would work because Justin was such a little kid sometimes.
That, and he loved ice cream almost as much as he loved being a performer.
JC grinned as he imagined the scene at the ice cream place later on- Justin
not being able to decide on what flavor he wanted, driving the server to
distraction, and then finally ordering either chocolate or vanilla.  It was
another routine that they went through.  JC shook himself out of his mind's
wandering when he heard Justin's voice.

	"JC, Chris, let's go.  The movie's gonna start soon," Justin called from up
ahead.  JC looked up to find that Justin was impatiently waiting by the
theatre doors while Chris stood with JC, watching him.

	"Sorry," JC said softly.  Chris just grabbed his hand and headed for the
theatre.

	"Come on, we can't miss the previews!" Chris yelled.  JC laughed, but
inside he was thinking about Lance again.  Or more specifically, Lance and
Joey.  *What's going on with those two?* JC asked himself.  *Please tell me
that they're not a couple!*  JC pleaded silently.  *Please let them just be
friends...*


	"I wonder how the others are making out," Joey remarked just before the
lights in the theatre went down.  Joey and Lance were sitting side-by-side,
not quite touching, but each was fully aware of the other.

	"I dunno," Lance said.  "I'm sure they're fine."

	"With Chris and Justin, I doubt it!" Joey cracked.  Lance gave a small
smile.  Joey instantly sobered up.

	"What's wrong?" he demanded.  Lance raised one eyebrow and played dumb.
"And don't pull that dumb blond act on me!  What did JC say to you this
morning?"

	"What makes you think it was JC?" Lance asked.

	"Lance, you were fine until I left you in your room and JC came in!  When
you came out, your mood had done a complete180!  Lance, please!"  Joey
pleaded.  Lance sighed.

	"Joe, I've said it before and I'll say it again.  It's not your business."

	"It will be once the therapist arrives..."  Lance's face went white.
"SHIT!" Joey cursed, realizing what he had said.

	"Therapist?  Joey, what the fuck did you do this morning after I left your
room to get dressed?" Lance's voice was as quiet as it usually was, but
there was steel in his voice.

	"I called Johnny..." Joey confessed.

	"And?"

	"I told him we needed a therapist on tour with us."

	"Why?  How could you do this to me?  How can I ever trust you again?  Fuck,
  I knew I shouldn't have said anything last night!" Lance was more than
just upset, he was royally pissed.  Joey inwardly cringed.

	"Lance, this isn't the place to get into this," Joey hissed.  Lance nodded
and stood up and quickly left the darkened theatre.  Joey followed,
rehearsing in his mind what he wanted to say, how he was going to explain
this to Lance.  Once they were in the lobby, Lance sought out a manager and
somehow managed to get them the use of an office so that they could talk
more privately.  Once the door was shut, Lance whirled on Joey.

	"Joe- before you say a word, I'm going to let you know that it's going to
take a hell of a lot to get me to trust you again.  You PROMISED me, Joseph.
  Do you have no respect for my wishes?  Do you have that little regard for
your friends?  I'm fine, Joey, and I don't need a fucking therapist!"

	"Lance, you can't keep all of this bottled up inside," Joey protested once
Lance paused long enough to take a breath.  Lance gave him an evil look.

	"I have for five years, Joey.  What makes you think I'm going to want to
talk about it now?  And I was serious about what else I said- if I go into
therapy, he'll find out and he'll kill me.  He's threatened it before, and
Joe... I'm scared he'll really do it."

	"Lance, I won't let anyone hurt you, I promise," Joey said.  Lance snorted.

	"You expect me to believe you now?"  Lance asked, incredulous.  Joey
studied the floor with great interest.

	"Whether you believe me or not, I love you too much to let anyone hurt
you," Joey said so softly that Lance almost missed it.

	"You what?"

	"I said that I love you, Lance."

	"Why?  How?  Joe, you can't love me..."

	"Why not?  You're sweet, funny, caring, tenderhearted, patient..."

	"Joey, stop!" Lance cried, cutting Joey off.  "Just please... take back
what you said."

	"Why?"

	"Because I don't want to get you involved in my problems," Lance said.
"That, and I'm not good enough for you.  I'm dirty, I'm a tease, and the
only thing you'll get is hurt if you try to have a relationship with me.
Please, Joe..."

	"Lance, I was involved as of last night when you told me.  I'm not going to
abandon you now!  And it's a bunch of bullshit that you're not good enough!
And you're not dirty.  You didn't ask for any of that to happen, and don't
let anyone try to tell you otherwise.  As for being hurt, part of being
human is experiencing pain, and I don't care.  I love you, Lance, and
nothing is going to change that."

	"But..."

	"No 'buts', Lansten.  I love you .  You can't convice me otherwise, no
matter how hard you try."

	"Why'd you freak out on me this morning, then?  You're gay, aren't you?"
Lance asked.  Joey blushed.

	"Not really gay- bi maybe.  I've never been with a man, so I don't know if
I'm gay or just bi.  I know that I am attracted to men, though.  About this
morning..." Joey paused.  "You never gave any indication that you were gay,
and I honestly thought you were going to tell the others what you told me."

	"They'd hate me," Lance said.  "I can't tell them.  I've told too many
people already, and I don't want anyone to hate me for this."  Joey's head
snapped up quickly.

	"Don't ever, ever think that the others are going to hate you for something
that wasn't your fault!" Joey half-yelled.  Lance cringed and Joey toned it
down a little.  "Lance, we all love you and we want to help you."

	"Nobody can help me," Lance whispered.  "Joey, please call Johnny and tell
him to get rid of the therapist.  Please, Joey, if you truely love me you'll
do this."

	"Lance, don't use my feelings for you against me like that!  It's not
fair."

	"Sorry," Lance said, dropping his eyes to the floor submissively.

	"Lance, you need help," Joey tried again.

	"Fuck, Joey, haven't you been listening to me?  I DON'T FUCKING NEED HELP!
I AM FUCKING FINE!"  There was a long silence following Lance's outburst.
Joey knew Lance was pissed because Lance rarely swore, and when he used the
word 'fuck' three times in once statement, Joey knew he'd better lay off.
But Lance's anger was misplaced- he needed help, and Joey didn't know how to
convince Lance to get it.

	"Alright, Lance, I'll call Johnny when we get back to the hotel," Joey
finally said.  Lance smiled softly.

	"Thank you," Lance said.  Joey smiled back half-heartedly, thinking that
Lance had never said "I love you" back.  Maybe he shouldn't have said
anything.  *Lance shouldn't have to worry about hurting my feelings,* Joey
thought.  *It would have been better if I'd kept my mouth shut!  Damn you
and your 'honor', Joe!* he cursed himself.

	"Joe?" Lance's voice broke into Joey's thoughts.

	"Yeah?"

	"I...."

	"What, Scoop?  Come on, spit it out!"

	"I...  I think I love you, too," Lance finally spit out.  Joey's face broke
out into a huge smile.  Lance held up a hand.  "But I'm scared, Joe."

	"Lance, we can take this as slow as you want," Joey said.  "We don't have
to do anything unless you want it.  Do you understand me?"  Lance nodded.

	"Thanks, Joe," Lance said softly.  "I really appreciate all you've done for
me."

	"That's what I'm here for, Scoop.  You don't ever have to be scared of me,"
Joey promised before he leaned over to give Lance a soft kiss on the cheek.
Lance blushed, but he reached up and grabbed Joey's face.  Turning it so
that Joey was looking him in the eye, Lance gave Joey a firm kiss on the
lips.

	"I think you missed the first time," Lance smiled.  Joey laughed and kissed
Lance again, this time on the lips.

	"I didn't miss that time!"

	"No, you didn't," Lance agreed.  He and Joey sat, looking at each other,
wondering where their relationship was going now.

	For his part, Lance was thinking about Joey's promise to protect him.
Could he really do it?  Could Joey really protect Lance from his rapist?  He
hoped so... Lance didn't want to feel scared anymore.  But until he was
strong enough to look his rapist in the eye, Lance knew that he'd be scared.
  He'd probably alwasys be scared, but he prayed that Joey would find some
way to take that fear away.

	Joey, on the other hand, was thinking about JC.  He knew something serious
was up between those two, and it made Joey wonder exactly what JC had said
to Lance earlier that day.  JC was one of his best friends, but Joey wasn't
going to let him hurt Lance anymore.  The question was, why were JC and
Lance so tense?  And what could Joey do to protect his new love from pain?
Joey didn't have any answers yet, but he hoped he would sometime soon.  He
hated seeing Lance in pain, but he didn't know how to stop it.  *Lance, how
do I help you?* Joey asked Lance silently.  *Why won't you let me all the
way in?*