J o n a t h a n   A n d r e w   Y b a n e z


A U T H O R ' S B A B B L I N G

Okay, I know there are a lot of BACKSTREET BOYS story out there and most of them are centered on people having crushes with either BRIAN LITTREL, NICK CARTER or KEVIN RICHARDSON. I try to make this a little bit different from the usual with the celebrities themselves falling for the fictional character.

I admit that I am not a BACKSTREET BOYS fan although some of their songs really caught my attention. But I am, indeed, a very big fan of BRIAN LITTREL and KEVIN RICHARDSON, but since it was BRIAN LITTREL who had a heart problem, I think it was best to center this story around him. No, I don't think that he is gay, but it would certainly be interesting if he is.

D I S C L A I M E R :

I would like to remind you that this is just a part of the imagination of the author and none of these events ever happen. Any similarity between events in the story and situations in somebody else's life is purely and absolutely coincidental, accidental or, just simply, impossible. This story doesn't state anything about BRIAN LITTREL'S sexuality or choice of lifestyle, implicitly or explicitly. Remember this is just a composition based totally on the imagination of the author.

This story contains a homosexual premise and has homosexual undertones. If you are a minor, you know the rules. Please don't read this and find something more suitable for you age. But if you reach the age of majority, you can come back. If you're a bigot who just wandered here by mistake, you are allowed to stay. I would like to request you, however, to please keep an open mind.

Please enjoy!!!


Jonathan Andrew Ybanez

T E N   T H I N G S

	See a rainbow at dawn
X	Taste the first snowflake of winter
X	Go to Disney World
	Flash someone from a car
X	See the dawn
	Be a star
X	Touch a snake
X	Make someone smile
	Talk to God
	Kiss my soulmate


C h a p t e r 3

"Somebody called me?" I heard someone asked behind me.

My face must have become so red that exact moment because my ears had felt like they surged a couple of thousand degrees Fahrenheit. There, in front of me, stood the older and real version of the little kid in my dream. He was every bit the young twelve-year-old boy who came to me as my soul mate, only now he looked more mature without losing all that boyishness.

He had the same emerald green eyes, tantalizingly cat-like yet absolutely pure and sinless and the same soft milky white skin, though his cheeks were naturally flushed and ruddy. It was quite a different picture from what I had been expecting, considering that he was in the fourth stage leukemia right now. He had the same innocently small yet teasingly and coquettishly pouting lips. He had the same straight dirty blond hair, thought now it was much shorter than the one he sported in my dream. I assume that this was caused by the chemotherapy treatment. Even his deep scar was on the exact location.

"Are you Tevyn Winters?" I asked dumbfoundedly as I swallowed hard.

He smiled, nodding.

"God, he even has the same sweetest smile, sweeter than any concoction of rock sugar and honey." I thought

"Hey, I recognized you. I know who you are." He continued to smile. "You're Brian Littrel, from the Backstreet Boys, right? Not really a fan, but I love some your songs." He reached out his hand to shake mine.

In polite response, I quickly took his hand.

Instantly, in that moment of connection, I felt my body shake wildly, as if some unnatural and violent forces had possessed and passed through my body. The feeling was quite scary that I had to shut my eyes as tightly as I ever could. The unholy and traumatizing experience nearly threw me to the wall. When I finally dared to open my eyes, I realized that I didn't feel the electrifying encounter alone. Tevyn, himself, had the same dreaded and anxious look written all over his face. Gone was his ruddy complexion and happy smile. His eyes had dimmed with severe apprehension. He quickly let go of my hand as if it was full of disease.

"I'm sorry, really I am." He said as he turned his back on me and walked away to sit on his bed. "I know that this may sound weird but I have been expecting to come sooner or later."

"What did you say?" I asked wild-eyed. "What did you just say?"

"For a very long time, ever since I was young, I was expecting you to come to my life." He said, his head bowing.

I inquired strangely, half-curious, half-afraid. "How?..."

"You are THE Brian Littrel from the Backstreet Boys, right?" He interrupted me. "I mean, correct me if I'm not right, but you have a certain heart condition. And if I am not wrong, you will soon be announcing that you are engaged to Leighanne in the near future."

"How did you know?" I asked in mixed fear and curiosity. "I never even told the press about that!!!"

"Ever since, I was eleven years old." He answered without looking at me. "Ever since that time, I had this rather strange repetitive dream of someone telling me that I am his soul mate. It was really a bizarre dream. I'm not really a big fan of yours but, somehow, I feel connected to you."

"Really?" I walked towards the bedroom window.

"I never told anyone about my dreams because everybody is going to say that I am crazy. You are the first to have ever known this story." He bit his lip as he looked at me, eyes full of hope that I might help him understand these cursed dreams. "I know that it was you, Brian. I know it was you who came to me in my dreams. I don't know if you will believe me but it's..."

"I believe you." I interrupted him.

"You do?" He looked at me, quite surprised actually. He laughed nervously. "I never told anyone about my dreams, they might just laugh at me."

"I had the same dream, too." I walked towards him as I replied with hesitation. "It started when I was about twelve years old, I kept on dreaming of meeting someone named Tevyn Winters, and I don't even know if a person with that name really exist, until now... now, that I have finally met you. How about you? What was your dream all about."

"Well," He started. "Actually, I dreamt that I was in the Atlantic Maritime coast of Prince Edward Island, in Canada one late summer. There was a little boy playing the dunes named Brian Litrell. It was quite strange because I never thought that it would be you."

I looked at his fingers and a ring caught my eye. It was silver ring with an eagle engraved on it. I realized that it was the same ring that he passed to me in my dream. "That ring did you..."

"This ring." He pointed it to me. "I had this made after you gave it me."

"I gave to you?..." I asked me puzzled. "You were the one who gave it to me. I never had a ring like that in my life."

"In my dream, you handed it to me..."

"No, you gave it to ME!"

There was an awful and awkward silence, followed by me clearing up my throat. I wanted to start a conversation, small talk perhaps but I hesitated for fear that I might come out tactless, crude or even rude. Finally, Tevyn decided to break the ice. "Bryan, do you believe in destiny?" He said slowly and hesitantly as looked up to me.

"Do you?" I asked him back, as I sat down on his bed.

"I believe that everything has its place and time because the fates wish to keep everything in order." He started, quite uneasily. "I believe that there are people and things in this world which are meant to cross paths because if they don't,..." 

"...Their existence would prove to be meaningless and futile." I finished the sentence for him.

"Yes..." He looked at me with a certain peculiar look. "The dream..."

"The dream,... of course"

"Yes, that what you told me when we,..."

"...Standing on the edge of the light house."

"Are our paths really meant to cross ways?..."

"I don't know... I don't..."

"Do you know you have really beautiful hands?.."

We stared at each other eyes and, suddenly, something happened out of the ordinary. I was drowning in a pool of sparkling emerald. His eyes were extremely captivating and hypnotic. My mouth began to get parched and my pulse went speeding over a million miles per second. Somehow, I lost my will and power to even resist this attraction,... this very intense attraction. I gently closed my eyes as he neared to touch my tense and shaking lips. Gently and gingerly, I felt his soft face with the palm of my hand. In my mind, I hear his voice saying. "Reach out to me, Jerry... Reach out to me Jerald Mitchell"

I whispered to him. "Take my hand, Richard... Richard McLachlan, take my hand..."

In my semi-conscious thoughts, a voice in my head kept saying,… repeating. "Why did I call him Richard McLachlan? Who is this Richard McLachlan?"

Yet, I ignored that thought, never tried to entertain that question.

As time seemed to freeze, our faces moved closer and closer and yet closer, slowly, until....

"Hello, people!!!" A couple of cheerful orderlies with a gurney entered the room. "Sorry for the disturbing you, but we need to take this guy to the morgue. I hope we were not interrupting anything important."

I became startled and jumped off the bed, trying to stay as far away as I could from Tevyn. Tevyn, on the other hand, looked a little too embarrassed and uncomfortable, though he was able to force some words out of his mouth. "No biggie, guys." He said as calmly as possible and even gave a hearty but somewhat sheepish laugh. Somehow, he was still able to make a joke, no matter how lame it sounded. "Please take your time, we don't want you to leave anything."

When the orderlies had already left, I walked towards the window, afraid and confused. My mind suddenly got so cloudy with all my thoughts and ideas volleying and bouncing around back and forth. Clearly, my face had shown great anxiety and bewilderment. Tevyn stood up from his bed and approached me,.. slowly and carefully. At my present state of confusion, there was no telling what I would say or do.

"Brian?…" He called out me. "Brian, are you okay?"


"Bryan, it's okay. There's nothing wrong with this. After all..."

"Nothing's wrong???!!! NOTHING'S WRONG???!! HAVE YOU HEARD YOURSELF TALKING???!!!" I started to freak out, pacing with severe alarm. "THERE IS DEFINITELY SOMETHING WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE!!!"

"Brian, please calm down!!!" He begged. "Please, don't get over...

"I WILL NOT CALM DOWN!!! What the hell just happened here??!!!" I tried to lower my voice as I continued to pace back and forth across the hospital room. "I am not gay!!! I am not gay!!! I AM NOT GAY!!!"

"I'm sorry Brian!!!" He sighed, as he stood up and put his hand on my shoulder. "I didn't mean happen. I didn't mean to scare you."

"I SAID DON'T TOUCH ME!!!" I said in a rather loud and harsh voice, so loud and harsh that I even scared myself.

"Please, don't even come near me!" I croaked out some words in a very calm manner

Tevyn looked a little bit hurt and shocked but I was scared. No, I was horrendously terrified out of my wits. I didn't understand why I became suddenly so homophobic. I mean by now, after hearing and reading all those fictional stories at the Internet concerning the fantasies of some gay fans, I should have learned how to cope with this stuff.

But no, I couldn't deal with this. Instead, I acted way out of proportion. Startled by what I had said, I decided that it was best that I leave. "I'm sorry, I have to go!!!" I went running and shrieking as left the hospital.

@);-,'-----		@);-,'-----		@);-,'-----


That night, I couldn't sleep. I kept on pacing around my room. I can seem to concentrate in anything I do, be that eating, singing, reading a book, playing with my Playstation, nothing seemed to work at all. I was simply restless. He was occupying my mind the whole evening, haunting me, and chasing me to the edge of madness. Tevyn, had somehow, bewitched my thoughts.

"What the hell's happening to me!!!" I shook my head to clear some of the insanity out of my skull. Out of anger and frustration, I struck the concrete wall of my room with my clenched fist, just to forget the mental torture and agony. "I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!"

"I have to talk to someone and quick or I will go out of my mind!" I thought. "But who should I call. All the guys are already out of state right now. By this time, A.J is in Canada. Kevin had already hit the slopes of Aspen and Howie had long gone to Mexico for the spring break. I have no other choice. I guess I'll just have to call Nick." 

I thought as I dial his number on my phone. Hey, this guy may be immature but I need to talk to someone before I go demented.

"Good evening Mrs. Carter"

'Who's this?" A drowsy Mrs. Carter groggily answered the phone. "Brian, is that you?"

"Yes, Mrs. Carter, it's me, Brian." I said politely. "May I please have Nick on the phone. "I am really sorry to have to disturb you at this hour of the night but it's rather important."

"Brian, do you have an idea what time it is?" There was a hint of irritation in her voice. "I hope you are aware that it's a quarter to midnight."

"Yes, I know that it's fifteen minutes to midnight." I said then apologized. "Really, I am sorry to be disturbing you at this time, but it's a really important matter."

"Okay, I'll see if he's still awake. Just hold on for a minute."

"Thank you, Mrs. Carter."

I held the receiver close to my head, even knocking it on my head a couple of times, just so I can think straight. At last, Nick answered the phone. "Hello, Nick."

A very sleepy and irritated Nick answered the phone. "Brian, what the fuck man!!! Do you..."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know you need your beauty sleep." I interrupted him. "But I really need you tonight, buddy. Can you meet me at Starbucks, tonight?"

"But Brian, I am really, really tired and I am so sleepy! You woke me up in the middle of a very great and very wet dream."

"Oh great, Nick, really gross. That should give me some nightmares tonight!" I joked good naturedly, hoping to get him to his good side. "I'll just erase that from my mind, thank you very much."

"Go ahead, make jokes and you'll be sorry." He replied threateningly.

"I'm sorry." I quickly apologized. "Please Nick, I really need to talk to you."

"But I have my flight early tomorrow morning." He whined.

"I know you need to leave early tomorrow morning." I begged. "Please, just this once man. You know I never ask for much"

"YEAH RIGHT! MISTER BRIAN LITTREL DOESN'T ASK FOR MUCH!!!" He laughed mockingly and sarcastically. "Mister Littrel, do you have an idea what time it is. I mean even the cuckoo bird in my clock is snoring loudly!"

"Yes, I definitely have an idea what time it is, it's a quarter to midnight." I told him, while rolling my eyes. Sarcastically, I added. "Why do people keep on asking me if I know the time? I have a watch, you know."

"Because if you really have a watch, you'd know it's a quarter to midnight. You know, a quarter to midnight?" Nick nagged me, severely irked. "Let me see,... a quarter to midnight. If I am not wrong, I think that's the time of the night when most regular and typical people leading busy and normal lives go to bed?"

Sensing Nick's irritation, I, then returned to my usual begging voice. "Please, just this once and I will never ask anything from you again."

"YEAH RIGHT, THAT'S WHAT YOU SAID LAST TIME." He laughed hysterically.

"I know, I kept on promising that I won't ask you for anything else, but please trust me on this one." I started to beg him. "Please Nick just this once, please"

"Okay, okay OKAY!!!" He finally gave in to my incessant and unending plea. "Just stop begging, it's so degrading on your part. I don't like to listen to people who are begging to the point of indecency."

"Okay thanks man, you're an angel." Sighing with relief, I was breathing properly now. "Meet you in a half hour or so. Thanks man, I owe you one."

"You should owe me a big one!" With that, Nick slammed the telephone receiver.

I reached Starbucks about seven minutes after my conversation with Nick. The coffee shop was relatively far from my place, but I can't help but press my foot on the gas pedal. Immediately, I ordered a tall glass of mochafrappeccino and a quiche Lorraine. What can I say except anxiety makes me hungry.

"Ughhh! What the hell is sickening stuff!!!" I groaned, feeling queasy after my first bite of the quiche. "Quiche Lorraine is just plain nauseating!!! French food is sooo disgusting. Quiche Lorraine must be French for cardboard disguised as a piece of pastry."

Hiding under a baseball cap, a dark windbreaker and fake prescription glass, I waited for Nick in the darker corners of the coffee shop. I didn't want to be recognized by anyone. After a rather relatively strange and nerve-wrecking day, I think I should be deserving of a moment of peace without be followed, stalked or surrounded by screaming and adoring fans. For now, I just want to sit down and have some peace of mind.

Forty-five minutes, and three glasses of mochafrappeccinos later, I was able to force and cram the last piece of cardboard down my dry and tired throat. And still, there was no sign of Nick Carter. "Where the hell is Nick!!!" I bitched quietly as I ran my finger along the mouth of the glass. "If he's not here within the next five minutes, I'm going to fry his balls and serve it for breakfast!"

As if on cue, Nick entered the coffee shop. He was wearing his usual disguise, a ski mask rolled up to cover his blond locks and a very dark framed and heavy pair of eyeglasses. "Sorry, Brian,.." He apologized wholeheartedly. "I would have arrived here sooner but I had to convince my mom first that the streets are not full of lust-filled, inhuman perverts and drug-crazed, knife-welding murderous maniacs after midnight. She's so over-protective sometimes."

"That's okay, no biggie." I said I looked at my near empty glass and showed it to him. "So, do you want to order one? My treat?"

"Sure!" Nick said, enthusiastically. "I'll have the iced café latte."

After ordering and paying at the counter, we returned to our table and started sipping our coffee. "So what's so important of this midnight meeting." Nick inquired as he savored his coffee. "I mean couldn't this wait until tomorrow morning or afternoon?"

"You're leaving early morning tomorrow, remember?" I rolled my eyes upward, moaning on his forgetfulness and air-headedness.

"Oh yeah, right?" He said, looking all thoughtfully. "This must be big, so spill it, what's your big problem?"

"Remember, this afternoon I told you about soul mates thing?" I started off continuing to stare at my tall glass of frappe.

"You still believe in that junk?" He groaned.

"Well, that's what I thought, it was all junk, soul mates, destiny, Déjà vu and other sorts of crap! That's what I thought at first." I replied, tinkering with my glass.

"And?..." He said, taking an unusually big gulp of his latte. "You said something about changing your mind from all that crap?"

I paused uneasily and decided to go for the homestretch. I told myself, silently. "It's now or never."

"Exactly! That's what I thought. Déjà vu and soul mates are nothing but crap. But that was until I met..." I glanced around my environment, checking out if someone was eavesdropping. I sipped my drink and, then dropping the bomb in a very low uneasy whisper. "...him..."

"WHAT!!!" Nick had to spit out his coffee. Coughing, he nearly drowned as he choked on his café latte.

Instinctively, I glanced with severe paranoia around us to see if Nick's unfortunate exclaimation had caught anyone's attention. Luckily, there were very few people around the place. On the middle table, there was this "waifish" beatnik with a total disheveled mop for hair and wearing dark clothing, just gawking intensely at his large half-filled mug of once-warm cappuccino.

On another corner of the room, a pair of lovers gazing lovingly at each other's eyes with absolutely no care in the world, except probably for each other. And, on the other, a young college student, with a glass of expresso in his right hand and a handful of notes on the other, cramming too much information, I supposed, for an exam for his morning class.

Turning back to Nick, I narrowed my eyes and whispered hoarsely. "Could you quiet down!!! The walls have ears, you know!!!"

"Really, Brian, I sorry but this..." He answered in a low gruff. "This, this is definitely getting too bizarre for me."

He began to stand up, and headed for the door. "Oh no!!!" I chased him and pulled him by his collar. "No, you're not leaving without listening to me!!!"

"Oww, owww, OWWWWW." He screamed as I pulled him out of Starbucks. "Okay, just let me go. Just let go of me, and I will listen to you!!!"

"SIT STILL!!!" I ordered Nick as I pushed him inside my car. "AND BE QUIET!!!"

Quickly, I went to the driver's side, and sat at the driver's seat. As quickly I could, I ignited the car and drove off. I kept on driving until we reached the nearest beachfront.


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