J o n a t h a n   A n d r e w   Y b a n e z

A U T H O R ' S B A B B L I N G

Okay, I know there are a lot of BACKSTREET BOYS story out there and most of them are centered on people having with crushes either BRIAN LITTREL, NICK CARTER or KEVIN RICHARDSON. I try to make this a little bit different from the usual with the celebrities themselves falling for the fictional character.

I admit that I am not a BACKSTREET BOYS fan although some of their songs really caught my attention. But I am, indeed, a very big fan of BRIAN LITTREL and KEVIN RICHARDSON, but since it was BRIAN LITTREL who had a heart problem, I think it was best to center this story around him. No, I don't think that he is gay, but it would certainly be interesting if he is.

D I S C L A I M E R :

I would like to remind you that this is just a part of the imagination of the author and none of these events ever happen. Any similarity between events in the story and situations in somebody else's life is purely and absolutely coincidental, accidental or, just simply, impossible. This story doesn't state anything about BRIAN LITTREL'S sexuality or choice of lifestyle, implicitly or explicitly. Remember this is just a composition based totally on the imagination of the author.

This story contains a homosexual premise and has homosexual undertones. If you are a minor, you know the rules. Please don't read this and find something more suitable for you age. But if you reach the age of majority, you can come back. If you're a bigot who just wandered here by mistake, you are allowed to stay. I would like to request you, however, to please keep an open mind.

Please enjoy!!!

Jonathan Andrew Ybanez

T E N   T H I N G S

X	See a rainbow at dawn
X	Taste the first snowflake of winter
X	Go to Disney World
	Flash someone from a car
X	See the dawn
	Be a star
X	Touch a snake
X	Make someone smile
	Talk to God
	Kiss my soulmate


C h a p t e r 5

A few days after having my blood test, physical examination and the bone marrow compatibility test, I decided have to a visit on Tevyn. I had been staying in the same hospital as him, fighting away nausea, pain and fear of being in a seriously dreadful and loathsome place. So, I never had a chance to leave my bed. The doctor said that it was best that I’d be restricted for a few days after the testing and had absolute bed rest. In the past 72 hours, I wasn’t allowed to leave the confines of my room and bed. It was explainable that I haven’t visited Tevyn.

I woke up around 9:00AM and took a very long warm bath before everything, something to wash away the grime, the soils and my fears. Believe me, three days of no bathing is not a pretty sight,... nor a sweet smell. Cassidy Adams, my personal assistant came by later in the morning and brought me my breakfast and a change of very fresh clothes. As everyone would agree with me, there would be no chance in hell that hospital food would become a personal favorite.

“Hey, Brian!!! You up?” He asked me as he came into my room.

“CASS!!!” I shouted from the bathroom. “MAN, AM I HAPPY TO SEE YOU!!!”

“Brian, I have a surprise for you!”

“Thanks, Cass. Would you believe that food here is absolutely, horribly and positively awful! I definitely don’t think I would feed it to my worst enemy.” Wrapping a towel across my wet torso, I said as I came out from the bathroom. Then, added with a wicked glint in my eyes and a touch of evil in my grin. “Do you think I would be arrested if I feed it to Kevin?”

“Brian, even when you’re great pain, you are still one giant asshole.” Cassidy said with a laugh. He went over to my bed and then, opened his tote bag. He took out something wrapped in plastic. “Before I forget, here’s a change of fresh clothes, crisp from the cleaners.

“Thank you, Mister Cassidy Adams.” I took the change of clothes from him and proceeded back to the washroom to put on my attire. I shouted over as I changed. “I wouldn’t know what to do without your help.”

“No need to thank me, Brian, it’s my job. And, remember, you’re paying me to do this.” He walked by the washroom and, jokingly, he whistled at me. “Great looking ass, big boy. No wonder you’re such a great asshole.”

“Really funny, Cass. I could die laughing. Did I pay you to say that?” I groaned then, retaliated with a smirk. “Maybe I should stop paying your salary.”

“Go ahead and cut my income.” I rolled up his eyes, in a devil may care manner. With a wicked gleam in his eyes, he retorted, pulling a white box. “If you really want to do that, I might just have to urge to throw these away.”

He opened the box and revealed three giant chilidogs. “GIMME, GIMME, GIMME!!!” I screamed like a little boy, as I was overcome by the “gimme’s”. As soon as I got the hotdogs in my hands, began to gobble each one like there was no tomorrow.

“Hey slow down, your liable to choke yourself with those hotdogs.” He said in his usual southern twang. Snickering, Cass stared at me as I wolfing down and stuffing the dogs into my face. “Don’t tell me you haven’t eaten hotdogs before.”

“Believe me, Cass, the past three days had been hell for me.” I said between breaths and gulps as I continued to chow down my food. “I was scared half to death. And like I said, the food here is poisonous. It’s really ironic that the greatest risk the patient could have after an operation is either an infection or poisoning from hospital food.”

“I don’t understand you, Bri!” He came over me and messed up hair. “You’re scared shit out of you in this kind of place but you still continued to have this test. Why on earth did you do it?”

“Long story.” I said non-chalantly. I didn’t want to tell him everything about Tevyn, his leukemia and the connection of our dreams.

“Well, give me the short and abridge version of that epic.” He shrugged. “I have to leave town for a week starting this afternoon and still hadn't prepared a single damn thing to bring with me. Going to Georgia to see my an aunt of mine”

“I needed to help out a friend.”

Raising his right eyebrow, Cassidy gave me a thoughtful stare and suddenly got up and uttered.  “Well, love to stay here and chit chat about that friend of yours but got to go.  Still have mounds of clothes to pack up.  Good luck on your quest in helping this friend of yours.”

Heaving a sigh of relief, I silently said a prayer; thanking God that Cassidy didn’t ask me further about my marrow compatibility test. Usually, he can get on my nerves with his curiosity and questions. Sometimes he can get overboard in asking question on personal matters that it makes me wonder if he is working undercover for some tabloid. “Before you go, Cass, could you bring my bags to my car?”

“Sure, no biggie. That’s what you’re paying me for.” With one clean swoop, he got his tote bag, my duffel bag. Waving goodbye, he said. “See you in a week or two.”

And he left my room.


@);-,'-----		@);-,'-----		@);-,'-----


I left my room around 10:30AM and gone to see Tevyn. I decided to ask for his forgiveness and to tell him about my plan. I had been such an ass a few days before and I think he deserves some sort of an explanation from me. I slowly limped over to room 552, to Tevyn's room. My upper legs were still a little bit sore the doctors extracted some bone marrow sample on my hips.

When I arrived at the room, I knocked softly at the painted door. A voice from inside answered. “Come in, the door is open.”

I entered the room silently so as not to disturb the other patient. A thick curtain was still drawn to divide the space. On the first bed lain an old lady, sleeping quietly and serenely. I moved over to the second bed and saw Tevyn packing all his clothes inside his duffel bag. He was wearing a Toronto Blue Jay Baseball cap, a college jersey and a pair of khaki chinos. He had his back turned against me so he didn’t have an idea that I was behind him.

“Good morning, Tevyn.” I greeted him.

“HOLY CRAP!” he said, quite startled as he faced me.

Then, there was silence between us. The space between us was calm,... deadly calm. Everything in the room was serene and placid, except the emotions on Tevyn's face. The expression on his face was mixed, full of apprehension and gladness. It was understandable since he wasn’t really that sure if my visit was amicable or hostile.

“Oh, it’s you!” He managed to cough out some words, though he is said it chillingly. “I didn’t quite expect to see again. So what brings you out here?”

“First and foremost, I would like to apologize to you.” I started my explanation, facing the floor. “I would like to tell you that I was quite shock and I didn’t know how to react to, uhm... ahh,... to my, uhhmmm... oooh gosh!” I shook my head as I paused for a while, searching through my vocabulary for the best choice of words. “...I would like to apologized for my rather embarrassing faux pas a few days before.”

“That’s okay.” He shrugged. “I mean that was the same reaction I got when my father found out that I was gay. So that was understandable”

“So can we shake on that.” I smiled, as I extend my hand to him. “I mean peace, diplomacy and all those junk? All’s forgiven and forgotten then?”

“Sure.” He received it with a smile and a firm handshake.

I, then, silently added. “...And also,... I would like to help you.”

“Help?!!!” He looked at me curiously, as he sat down on his bed. “What do you mean ‘help’?”

“I know that your physical condition is deteriorating.” I lifted my eyes to him. “But I decided to donate my bone marrow,... if that possible.”

“Brian, you don’t get it, do you.” He said biting his lips as he was shaking his head. “I think you already had the idea that I rejected chemotherapy, cobalt or the other usual crappy stuff the doctors prescribe to patients with my condition.”

“I think I have that idea.” I said, as I recalled what Mrs. Lawrence informed me a few days earlier. Which reminds me, I still have to send her my 8 by 10 glossy.

“Do you why I rejected therapy already?”

“Not really...”

“Do you know why?”

I started. “Well,...”

“Well then, let me tell you why...” He interrupted me, as he bit his lips.

“It’s because it’s a hopeless cause already.” He shrugged, trying to give me an indifferent expression, but his eyes says another set of emotions. “I have already accepted the fact that I won't last until the end of the year. So please, don’t make this harder for both of us.”

He stood up, quite teary eyed and went over to the window. Tevyn stared intensely outside the bedroom window. He glanced back at me and gave me the most enigmatic smile. “Did you know that there was a rainbow today at dawn?”

“Really?” I said as I approached him at the window. “How did it looked, I was still asleep and got up around 9:00AM.”

“It was really nice.” He said still smiling while looking out of the window. “It looked like a huge bridge hanging over the early morning sky.” He explained it to me, quite enthusiastically. “It was a truly awesome sight,... because the sun barely stretched out of the horizon and the sky was still pinkish or peachy or something.”

“You really enjoyed the sunrise today, haven’t you?” I said leaning on the windowpane. I looked at him with curiosity, then I said. “You know, I have to hand it to you. You seem to see the bright side of everything.”

“Why I see the bright side to everything? Why indeed? Oh, that’s a toughie.” He shrugged, smiling brightly. “I guess I have, too. It’s not every day that we get a chance to see things as beautiful as the view I had this morning. And in my case, I may not have the chance to see it again...”

Then, his huge grin began to turn into a sad, bittersweet smile, a nostalgic sigh escaped from his mouth. “I don’t think I would have the chance to see another one anytime soon.”

“Have you been listening to yourself? You’re just wallowing in a heap of self-pity!” I asked him, wild-eyed. “I know that you don’t want to die. So why not accept my help.”

“Yes, Brian, I have been listening to everything I have been saying.” He closed his eyes, sighing with emotional pain in his heart. “But I am already tired.”

He knocked his head on the windowpane a couple of times and said, his body began to shake violently. “Don’t you know that I have been through a lot already? I’ve had this disease since I was fifteen years old. Now I am already twenty-four. Nothing is going to change, it’s never going to change and,... and... and I am already tired,... so tired already. For nine years, I have been through tests after tests, promises after promises, faith and prayers, and it all came to one big nothing. I have built up my hopes only to get back to square one.”

“So many times, only to get my hopes dampened.” He walked to his bed and faced away from me, trying to hide his tears. “If I had a dollar for every time,... a dollar each time I said those words ‘all for nothing’, a dollar for each moment I get my hopes up only to have it crumble down back to nothing, I would have been a trillionaire.”

I looked at him, sadly and thought deeply for a while. As serious I could get, I narrowed my eyes and grabbed Tevyn by the shoulders. I shook him, as if to wake him up. I then frankly told him. “Do you want to see another rainbow at dawn.”

“Huh?” He stopped crying and looked at me in confusion. “What did you say?”

“I asked you if you want to see another rainbow at dawn.”

“What do you think?” Angrily, he asked me a rhetorical question with a mocking sneer.

“Well, let me tell you what I think.” I approached him, making slow and sure moves to calm him down. “I think you do, but you are already jaded because every time you find a new road to go, you end up on a dead end.”


“SO, right now, I think it is best that we make the best of what we have and grab opportunity by the balls.” I sat beside him and put my arms over his shoulders to give him moral support. “Tevyn, opportunity is already here, knocking on your door and is being served on a silver platter. As much as a cliché as this sound, opportunity DOES knock only once.”

“What if it’s still not the one?”

I shrugged with a funny smirk on my face. “And if it still isn't the one, then it isn't the one. Think of it, if you missed out on a chance, think of the loss you might have on your hands.”

After hearing my words, Tevyn thought intensely. Slowly he began to liven up. A big smile began to crack on his face. He, then, gave me a big hug. “Thanks, Brian.”

I still had trouble hugging him, even after my talk with Nick. But slowly I locked my arms around him so that he may not get any hurt feelings. Much to my relief, he let go of me. He went over to his bag to continue packing. “Why are you packing your bags already?” I asked him.

“Well, today is my last day in the hospital.” He replied, smiling. “I’m going back to Toronto this afternoon. Still a lot of things to do and not much time to do it.”

“But you can't leave now.” I began to protest as I suddenly jumped off the bed. “You have... OUCH!!! SHIT!!!”

“Brian, are you okay?”

“It’s nothing, there’s just a dull pain in my hips.” I wince with pain.

“Here drink this.” He pulled out some tablets from the side of his bag.

“What’s that?” I asked, examining the label of the pills.

“They’re pain relievers.” He explained after he handed me a glass of water. “Drink two tablets and that should help you in getting rid of the ache.”

“Thanks.” I said as I downed two pills.

“I’ve noticed that you’ve been limping since you got here.” He looked me with great worry on his face. Suddenly, his expressions altered from concern to anger. “Oh, no... You’ve already taken the test, didn’t you? DIDN’T YOU!!!”

“Yes, I did...” I said in a very small voice.

“Why did you do that?” Tevyn sighed, his eye were mixed with anger and sadness. “You didn’t even asked me first.”

“I did it because you were sick and I...”

“So, you just assumed that I would jump on this thing because you did it. Why did you really do this in the first place?” He interrupted me as his tone began to rise higher.

He face began to flush up and he was waving his hands feverishly. “So I would forgive you for what you did a few days earlier? You did this for,... for,.. for publicity sake. WHAT WAS THE FUCKING REASON??!!!”

Realizing what he had said, he became silent for while. Then said, as he paced around the room. “I couldn’t believe I said that.” He stopped pacing and faced me as he covered his mouth, as if to shut it up. “I’m so sorry. I know that your intentions were good and sincere, it is just things and pressures seem to come to me at every corner. I apologize.”

“That’s okay. That’s how I felt a few days earlier too.” I replied. Tevyn looked at me curiously. I quickly. “Nothing that you should worry about.”

I thought for a while and then I looked at him intently. I inquired him. “Do you really want to know why I did it?”

He bit his lip first and then, slowly, nodded, looking quite unsure whether he wants to know the truth or not.

“Remember what you said about soul mates? And about destiny?”

“Yes, I said I believe that everything has its place and time because the fates wish to keep everything in order.” He started, quite uneasily. “I said I believe that there are people and things in this world which are meant to cross paths because if they don’t,...”

“...Their existence would prove to be meaningless and futile.” I finished the sentence for him.


“Meaning that we were meant to meet each other because, it was fated.” I explained. “Nick told me that destiny wished us to cross path because I may just be the cure to your disease.”

“Do you really believe in that?” He said, eyes sparkling.

“I don’t really know what to believe anymore.” I said, a little bit skeptical, but to stress a little bit to my idea and give more “umph” to my point, I added by saying. “But if this was fated to happen, should I fight destiny?”

“I guess not...” He answered, still skeptical.

He then returned back to his things and continued packing. I looked at him and asked

“I still, I have a list of things to do and so many places to go.”

“Shouldn’t you at least stay around and rest?”

“Nope,... absolutely have no time to stop.” He said as he zipped his bag shut and lifted it up.

“But, what about the test results? I have asked Dr. Murray to forward it here to you.” I blocked his way as he walked away from the bed.

“Oh, that,...” He bit his upper lip as he thought gingerly. Then with quick smile, he said. “Well, they can send it to me in Toronto. Then I will decide from there.” With that he headed for the door.

I hastily added. “But wouldn’t that be just a little bit, uhmm... a little bit too ahhh...” I stopped mid-sentence for want of a much better word to use.

“Just a little bit too late?” He said it in a very easy going fashion that it scared me. “Don’t worry Brian, I have already come to terms with that.”

“So, you won't even wait for the results?”

“No,...” he looked at me and when out the door.

I chased him to the elevator and from there tried to convince Tevyn to at least wait until this afternoon for the outcome of my test, but to no avail. Tevyn wouldn’t even listen to my explanations. He passed by front desk for the bills.

“Good morning, sir.” The front desk clerk greeted Tevyn a little bit coldly, as she filed her nails. “How may I help you?”

“Good morning.” Tevyn tried to smile back. “I am Tevyn Winters. I have been staying in room 552 since last Wednesday.”

“So, sir?...”

“I would like to inquire about my bill. My insurance is going to pay for it, right?”

“Tevyn!!!” I said, trying to catch his attention. “Please give it more thought. This is a matter of your life and death. You just can't pass the opportunity.”

“Yes, your insurance company will be billed for you confinement here in this hospital.” She replied as she filed her nail. “May I ask what your insurance company is, sir?”


“Brian, please not now.” Tevyn finally faced me. “Could you just wait a minute, I have to finish something here.”

“Sir, you insurance company?” The lady behind the counter was already losing her patience. She began tapping her fingernails on the desk.

“HEY, WE’RE TALKING HERE!” I glared at her, to which she glared me back.


“WHICH IS WHAT?” I interrupted her angrily, pounding my heavy fist on the counter. “FILING YOUR NAILS?!”

“Excuse me for a minute, okay?” Tevyn turned to the totally ill-mannered bitch. “We have to straight things first.”

“Go ahead.” She rolled her eyes and sarcastically continued. “It’s not like I have something to do.”

“Sure you do! Those fingers and nail really look hideous that you might want to file them off.” I wanted to tell her, but stopped myself because she wasn’t worth the trouble and bad publicity.

Tevyn pulled me to a corner and whispered his lecture to me. “Brian, I will talk to you later, after I finish here, okay? Now be a good boy and sit there on one of the benches.” He ordered me and, obediently, I went over the waiting area.

He walked back to the counter and faced the desk clerk and apologized, smiling. “Sorry, for the trouble. He’s not always like that. Bryan is just having a sore day”

“Don’t we all!” She said rolling her eyes, flaunting her irked expression. “Your insurance company, sir.”

“Sun Life of Canada, my insurance agent told me that they would cover any charges made.” He looked at the ceiling with an exasperated expression on his face. “So could you just send them the bill? I think that they...”

“Sir, please sign this release form.” She interrupted him, not even giving him a chance to finish his sentence as passed him some sort of a note. “We will be sending the bill to their office here in Florida, if they have one.”


“Oh and Mr. Winters, this came for you. It’s from Dr. Murray.” She said as she continued filing her nails, without even giving Tevyn a glance.

“Hey, this package was dated two days ago.” He exclaimed as he looked carefully at the small envelope. “I was supposed to get this envelope immediately,.. that was two days ago! WHY WASN’T THIS GIVEN TO ME TWO DAYS AGO!”

“Sorry...” She said not the least apologetic, still filing her nails. “I must have forgotten to send it to your room.”

“Sorry just don’t cut it!” Tevyn was starting to lose his cool.


The people at the lobby stared at them as Tevyn's face started to flush and his ears began to redden. I can see that he was getting uncomfortable with the whore. I stood up and approached both of them. “Tevyn, anything wrong?” I asked him.

“Oh, nothing. I guess we better leave now.” He said, still staring at the floor as he walked away.

“I guess so.” I said following his lead.

“She was so rude...” Tevyn said, almost close to tears.

“I know.” I agreed with an ire expression. I looked at the clerk’s direction then I continued, a little too loud for the entire lobby, I might, purposely add, still staring at her. “Don’t take it too personal. I mean, bitches in heat who didn’t get laid last night, usually act that way.”

I laughed out loud. Tevyn, on the other hand, tried to suppress his giggles, ended snickering loudly. Now it was the slut’s turn to blush.

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