Date: Thu, 20 Dec 2001 17:43:55 +0100 From: Dannii Ree Subject: the love we have chapter 31 Notes: The story is as good as finished. There are 4 more chapters to come, then it's over. I can't really believe we wrote 35 chapters, wow. Many of you said that they would like to read a sequel, so we'll go for it. Here's the latest, chapter 35. Enjoy!! Disclaimer: This story is a complete work of fiction. We don't know the guys of *NSYNC, and we don't want to imply anything about their sexuality. Chapter 31 by Megan Justin immediately moved away from JC when he saw Jim in the doorway. JC gave him a sad smile before saying, "ok dad". "I'll be downstairs in the kitchen," Jim told them before turning around and closing the door. "Ok," JC agreed before looking over to Justin. "I'm scared, J." "I know, baby, I know. But we're going to get through this together. Maybe your dad is going to apologize for what he said earlier," Justin replied, hugging JC to him. "Yeah. But maybe he's going to say he doesn't want me here anymore and make me move out. I don't think I could live without you, Justin," JC responded, tears forming in his eye when he thought he couldn't cry anymore. "Awww, don't cry Josh, it's going to be ok. And if you have to move out, which I'm sure you won't, I'll move with you. I don't want to be without you either," Justin whispered, kissing JC lightly before standing up and bringing JC up with him. "The longer we wait, the more nervous we're going to be, so let's just get this over with, ok?" "Yeah," JC said quietly, letting Justin lead him downstairs and into the kitchen. Jim was sitting at the kitchen table alone. Justin wondered where his mom was as he sat down across from Jim. JC sat beside him, their hands still connected. There was an uncomfortable silence for a minute before Jim spoke. "Justin, I talked to your mom while you guys were upstairs and explained to her why I reacted the way I did earlier. Now I need to explain it to both of you. I want to start off by saying that I don't hate either of you. Joshua, I love you with all my heart and I could never hate you. Justin, you've become like a son to me, and I couldn't hate you either." Jim stopped when he heard a big sigh of relief from Justin. He smiled at Justin before continuing. "So now you're both probably wondering why I reacted the way I did when you told me you were together. Josh, do you remember how I used to talk about Mark, my friend from high school?" "Yeah," JC replied, wondering what this had to do with his father's best friend from high school. He was very relieved that his father didn't hate him, but he also wanted to know what had caused his father to say all the hurtful words that he'd said. "Ok. Well, he was my best friend. He'd moved into the house next to mine in the middle of our sophomore year of high school. We became best friends really quickly, much like you two have, now that I think about it. Anyway, we told each other everything. One day, he came over to my house and said he needed to tell me something. He seemed really nervous, and we were never nervous around each other, so I knew what he was going to tell me was really big. He came out to me that day. I'll never forget it. He was so worried that I'd hate him, that I'd never want to talk to him again." Jim paused, caught up in his memories. He looked up at his son before continuing. "I was so hurt that he hadn't told me before. I was fine with him being gay, I knew it didn't change him, but it really hurt me. I can't really explain it. That was part of the reason I was so angry last night. I felt that hurt all over again. Josh, why didn't you ever tell me you were gay? Did you not trust me enough?" Jim asked with tears in his eyes. "No, dad, it's not like that at all. I just realized that I'm gay a few days ago. Justin and I have been confused over everything we've been feeling recently, and I didn't really know I was gay until we admitted our feelings to each other. And to be perfectly honest, I was scared to tell you. But it was more because I wasn't sure if you'd approve of our relationship because you and Lynn are getting married soon. I didn't want you to hate what Justin and I have. Because it's wonderful," JC explained, tears running down his cheeks as he smiled over at Justin. Justin decided he wanted to say something too. "I just wanted to say one thing. We really didn't mean to hurt you by being worried about how you'd react. I was nervous about how mom would react when she caught us... uh... kissing. She was a little upset that I hadn't told her, but we worked it all out. I really don't want this to break the family apart. That's the last thing I want to do. And thanks for not hating me," Justin said, whispering the last part. He was so happy that Jim didn't hate him or JC for being different. "Like I said before, I'd never hate either of you. And there's more to my story," he told them. He grabbed JC's right hand and Justin's left before smiling and then continuing his story. "After Mark came out to me, we became ever better friends. He knew that I was straight, so nothing happened between us. Then one day in January, I think, someone in the school found out about Mark. And then the next day, the whole school knew. There were some people with pretty big mouths in that school. For the next week, it was all anyone ever talked about. Mark was a really good sport about it, but I could tell that the teasing and the joking was really getting to him. And then kids at school were really cruel to him. I'm sure you've heard most of the horrible names that people called him. Most of his friends turned away from him. And then he began to turn away from me." Justin noticed that silent tears were streaming down Jim's face, so he squeezed Jim's hand in support. He also reached over and grabbed JC's left hand, holding it tightly with his right. JC looked over and smiled at Justin before turning back to his father who began to speak again. "I don't really know why he turned away from me. I mean we were really good friends. Maybe he thought that I was the one who told the school that he was gay. All I know is that it hurt so bad to loose my best friend because some stupid people at my school were homophobic. One of the other reasons I reacted the way I did was because I don't want either of you to have to go through the kind of pain that Mark did. I don't want you to be called names and be the center of people's jokes. I'm not trying to scare either of you, and I'm praying that you won't have to encounter such horrible treatment, but I'm just warning you. Hopefully college students will be more understanding than my high school classmates and you won't be bothered. But I just wanted you to know that I hope you never have to live through that kind of pain. And if someone does hurt you, come talk to me. Because I've been through it with Mark," Jim explained. Justin and JC began to understand just why Jim had reacted the way that he had. But there was more. "There's one more reason why I reacted the way that I did. Some of the kids thought it would be cool to get revenge at Mark, and don't ask me what they wanted revenge for. I don't know. Anyway, Mark was walking home from work one night, and about ten guys from school surrounded him. They raped and killed him that night. I never got to talk to my best friend again. He died mad at me. And it hurts," Jim ended his story with a sob, as he broke down. "Oh dad," JC whispered, standing up and rushing to his dad's side. "I'm so sorry." JC hugged his dad tightly in his arms, rubbing his back. Justin wasn't really sure what to do, so he just held on to Jim's hand .A few minutes later Jim calmed down enough to talk. "Sorry about that boys," he apologized, "I haven't cried about that in a very long time." "It's ok, Jim," Justin replied, smiling when Jim looked at him. "Yeah, dad, we're here for you too, you know," JC told him. "I know, Josh, I know. I still feel like I have to explain what I said earlier. It wasn't right of me to say that. I know that I hurt both of you. I really am sorry," Jim apologized again. "I know, dad, and I now understand why you reacted the way you did. And it was a really good reason. I would've reacted the same way had I been you. It means a lot that you're worried about what people will think of us. We're just hoping that the people at our school are mature enough to handle it. And that's only if word gets out about us," Josh replied. "I love you both so much. I never want to see you hurt," Jim said, the emotions he was feeling showing in his voice. "I love you too, dad," JC responded. "I love you too, Jim," Justin said, walking over for a big group hug. "Where's mom?" Justin asked after a moment of silence. "Lynn!" Jim yelled, signaling to her that they were done their talk. Lynn walked into the room a moment later and smiled when she saw Jim, JC, and Justin all huddled together. "Is everything ok now?" she asked. "Yeah," Justin replied, "come're." Lynn walked over to join the family in another hug. And it really felt like a family. **** After the talk and family bonding moment that they all shared, Lynn and Jim decided to head to bed. Justin and JC weren't tired at all since they'd slept a few hours just recently. They headed to JC's room and tried to decide what to do until they became tired. Justin suggested swimming and JC agreed immediately. He loved seeing Justin in his bathing suit. They both changed separately and met down at the pool. JC got there first so he dropped his towel on one of the lawn chairs and dived into the pool. Justin came down a few minutes later, wearing his glasses. "Hey babe," JC called, motioning for Justin to jump into the pool. "Hey," Justin replied, deciding against diving into the pool. Instead, he left his glasses on and went to the shallow end, using the stairs. He shivered, realizing that the water of kind of cold, but after swimming a lap or two, he was fine. JC followed Justin's lead and started doing laps too. When Justin got bored of that, he snuck up behind JC and grabbed his waist, tickling him. JC gasped at the feeling of Justin's hands on his bare waist, and giggled as he struggled to get out of Justin's grasp. His head spun as Justin turned him around quickly and pressed his lips to JC's. JC moaned as Justin's tongue entered his mouth. JC returned the kiss eagerly, wondering where this passionate embrace would lead them this time. Even though he loved Justin with all his heart, he wasn't sure if he was ready to go all the way. TBC...! ********** feedback to: Megan: jujuissecksi@hotmail.com, Dannii: raindrops79@hotmail.com