Date: Sun, 8 Aug 1999 15:37:19 EDT From: NeilsANerd@aol.com Subject: The Real Kevin DISCLAIMER: Not for people under the age of 18 years. Includes homoerotic material that may be unsuitable for some readers. This is a fictional story (how I hate to say it) involving celebrities. This story is in no way meant to imply or suggest the sexual orientation of anyone involved. -------------- The Real Kevin -------------- by Neil e-mail me at NeilsANerd@aol.com Part I ------ "Yes, mom, I'm sure I can do it." "I know you can, hon, but I just feel awful about our leaving you all alone." My parents were going to visit some friends in another state and were apprehensive about leaving me the family business, a cozy little bed and breakfast about 10 miles from the Cleveland city limits. "I've lived here all my 20 years, so I know how things work. We don't even have anybody booked." I tried a new tactic. "Alright, son, just as long as you don't screw anything up." My dad always used humor to get his point across. "YES!! I mean, okay." My parents chuckled at my attempt to hide my enthusiasm. Mom started to remind me, "Don't let anybody you think is strange stay here. And don't stay out late, especially when you have guests. And don't forget to lock...." "Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know, mom, I know. Now you'd better hurry or you'll miss the plane." After I said good bye to my parents, I closed the door, turned around, and let out a sigh of relief. I had the house to myself. I dragged my over-packed suitcase back into my room. As I was unpacking it, I decided to listen to my favorite CD, "Millenium" by the Backstreet Boys. I mouthed the words as I finshed putting the last shirt on its hanger. Then I decided to just veg out for the rest of the day. I guess now is a good time to tell you about myself. My name is Neil. I am just over 20 years old, and live right outside Cleveland (duh!). I am 5'8", 155 lbs, dark brown hair, and ligth brown eyes. Late in the evening, my best friend Andy called and invited me to have lunch with him and another friend, Shannon. I agreed, and we set the time and place. After the phone call, I was very sleepy, so I went to bed. I woke up late the next morning, so I only had a couple hours until I met Andy and Shannon for lunch. I decided to listen to the waterproof radio as I took my shower. I turned it on just as AJ finished, "'Cuz I want it...that way." The DJ then came on. "That was the latest hit from the Backstreet Boys. And for our loyal Backstreet fans, an previously unannounced contest. The winner will win three tickets and three backstage passes to the Backstreet Boys concert tomorrow! All you have to do is be the tenth caller.....NOW!!!" I raced to the phone naked, leaving a trail of water behind me. "AM I THE TENTH CALLER?!?" I yelled into the phone. "Sorry, you're number nine." I immediately hung up and dialed again. I then turned on the radio next to the phone as the DJ announced, "We have our tenth caller on the line. Samantha, are you there?" I hung up in disgust. I turned the radio off in the middle of her teeny-bopper yelling. Well, I finished getting ready to go out. Then I washed the dishes. It was time to meet my friends for lunch, so I headed out to the small cafe we had selected. "Neil, did you hear that Backstreet Boys contest on the radio?" Shannon asked. Both of them knew I absolutely loved the Backstreet Boys. "Yeah, I was caller nine." I replied. "That sucks." Andy added his two cents. "I know. But let's forget it and eat! I'm starving!" After eating a club sandwich, fries, and more than my share of cola, I had to go to the bathroom. Since the restroom was on the other side of the cafe, I had to walk past all the booths. I had always enjoyed listening to other people's conversations, so this wasn't altogether unpleasant. One conversation that I listened to briefly while waiting for the restroom went: "I can't believe they lost our reservations! Our reservations! Now we don't have a place to sleep!" "I know. That's a first. We could sleep on the bus, I guess. But I was really looking forward to sleeping on a bed for a change." It was then that the bathroom door opened as a guy with sunglasses and a very strange hat came out and joined the two people having that conversation. I didn't think anything of it as I entered the bathroom. I thought of suggesting they stay at my parents' place. They seemed to be alright. They looked to be in their 20's, and there were only three of them. Well, when I came out, I walked up to their table. I stated, "I couldn't help but overhear your problem. My parents run a bed and breakfast about 10 miles our of the city, and we have vacancy, if you're interested." "That'd be great!" the guy in the hat said. "You think we could do that, Howie?" "It sounds like a great idea to me" the one named Howie replied. It was then that I really looked at them. Oh my gosh! It was them! AJ MacLean, Kevin Richardson, and Howie Dorough were actually sitting at that table! I was stunned. "Hey, buddy, hello?" The next thing I felt was a hand shaking my arm. "Are you alright?" "Huh?...Oh, yeah, fine." "You might want to pick your jaw back up off of the table now." Kevin joked. "Oh, I'm sorry. I just didn't realize...." "I figured. Well, I guess you know there are two more of us. I hope that's alright?" "Yeah, we have plenty of rooms, and nobody else it supposed to be there." "That sounds perfect!" Howie finally spoke. "Why don't you sit? You look awfully strange just standing there." "Oh, thanks." I sat next to Kevin (who is my favorite Boy) and across from Howie. After sitting there silently for what seemed like an eternity, I attempted to make small talk. "If you don't mind my asking, where are Brian and Nick?" I asked, and I still couldn't believe I was talking to the Backstreet Boys. "At McDonald's, of course. They never try local places, always McDonald's." AJ took a joking tone. "We're supposed to meet them in 15 minutes." "Well, I could go too and lead you back to my place." I suggested. "Sounds great." We ended up in an empty parking lot. Moments later, another car pulled in, and Brian and Nick jumped out. They ran to the van that Howie drove. Kevin and AJ had decided to ride with me. Howie gave me a signal to get in front of him, and I led them back to my place. When we pulled into my driveway, I saw Andy and Shannon waiting on my porch. As I got out of my car, Andy asked "Where the heck did you go? We just saw you leave with three weirdos. We didn't know what to think!" "I'm sorry. Business." I replied. "Business? What kind of...!" Shannon yelped when she saw Kevin and AJ emerge from my car. "AAAAAHHHHHmbmbbmlm!" Andy had covered her mouth with his hand. "Shannon, you're not 12. Act your age." He then uncovered her mouth. "You're right. I don't know what came over me. I apologize." A very convincing cherade until she ran screaming to AJ, her favorite Boy. "Whoa, little missy. Calm down!" "AAAAAAJJJJJJ!!! I LOVE YOU!" Andy and I just laughed as AJ struggled to free himself. In the meantime, the other Backstreet Boys had gotten dufflebags out of the van and were standing on the porch. "Ok, guys, just come on in and make yourselves at home." I lead them inside. "Thanks, man" Brian said. "This is a nice place." I gave them the usual tour of the house, plus a stop in my room. They each called their own guest room, except Nick, who was in the bathroom at the time. "Why do I get stuck in the smallest room?" he complained. "Hey, we can't help it if your bladder got in the way" Kevin joked. Nick pulled his fist back like he was going to strike. "Hey, no horseplay in the house!" I mimicked a parent, and all the Boys laughed. And besides, if there was going to be any kind of 'playing', I wanted to be part of it! "Well, it's been a long and exciting day, but I'm afraid we have to be going." Andy announced. "Neil, would you escort us outside?" "Sure...." I excused myself, and led Andy and Shannon outside. "Neil, I know you have a plan. Spill it" Andy said. "You know me way too well. And if you must know, yes, I do have a plan." "And would that plan include 'Kevy'?" Shannon asked, stressing "Kevy" in a long, lovy, drawn-out way. I think my smile gave it away, as they said their goodbyes, got in the car, and drove off. I walked back into the house. The Boys were sitting in the living room, checking out my video games and some magazines we have out for guests. One is a teen magazine which had their picture on the cover. "I really hate these things" Howie said. Brian and Kevin nodded. Howie put the magazine back and continued, "so, what is there to do around here at [pausing to look at his watch] 3:00?" "3 o'clock ALREADY!!!" I screamed. "I totally forgot I have a dance recital at 3:30!!! I'm already half an hour late for warm-ups. My teacher is going to kill me!" Kevin looked interested. "Dance, huh? What kind?" "It's kind of a bit of everything. I guess 'interpretational' fits." "Mind if we come watch?" AJ asks. "That's no probl....oh wait, I just forgot......uh....it's by invitation only, you know for family and stuff." I wasn't a good lier. The truth was, at this particular recital, we were to be dancing to a few Backstreet Boys songs. I didn't want to have to subject them to that kind of punishment. I turned to go to my room to get ready. What I didn't hear: "You believe him?" AJ asks. Brian answers "Nope." "We following him?" "Oh, yeah" To be continued....