Date: Sat, 26 May 2001 14:51:32 EDT
From: MrClean290@aol.com
Subject: The Thing With Nick 6

Here is the next part as promised.
Disclaimer: See previous part and or any other story in this directory!
poem credit:  both poems are written by me, please dont use
them w/o my permission.  thanks much


The Thing with Nick 6

The thing with Nick is, he's completely irresistible.

Until that day, I didn't think it was possible to hurt that much.  But Nick
proved to me that it was.  But it was as if he was my addiction.  I
couldn't tear my eyes away from him.  But I wouldn't look at him.  He would
look me in the eyes and I would turn away.  And he would avoid my stare
when my eyes roamed him body.

I couldn't take it anymore.

I wanted him.

I needed him.

But I didn't know how to get him, back.

I did the only thing that came naturally.  I wrote.  And wrote, and wrote.
Until the poems ceased to sing and the words became mute.  The songs my
heart sings for Nick are unlike anything I've ever written before.  He
brings out the sadness in me.  He brings out the happiness in me.  He
brings out the passion in my veins and the love in my blood.  He brings me
out of the shell I cover myself with when times get too hard.  He is my
laughter and my tears, my salty, salty tears.

					~ Nick ~

The only way I know how to tell you these things, without the pain of
looking at you, is to write it.  And I only hope that you are strong enough
to read it, and stick with it as the pages go by and the tears fall on the
pages.

AJ was the first man I had ever been with.  With him, it was surreal.  The
sex was amazing, I'll give him that, AJ knows how to fuck.  But he doesn't
know how to make love.  It was never slow and passionate.  I wanted my
first time to be out of love, and out of lust.  Passionate, and
compassionate.  I wanted smooth and gentle, but rough and tumble.  All I
ever got with Alex was rough and tumble.

Every time he came, he would whisper ' I love you's' in my ear.  How could
I not believe him?  We just kinda fell into a relationship.  But I always
realized that it was lacking something.  It was lacking emotions.  It was
always sex.  Fucking.  He never wanted to hold my hand, or brush away
strands of hair or kiss away tears when he got too rough.  He said he loved
me, but I don't think Alex knows what love is.

Nick, my beautiful Nicky, I know you know what love is.  I see it in your
eyes when your eyes cross mine.  I see it in the way you hang your head in
shame over hurting me.  I hear it in your voice when you sing to crowds but
look to me; I heard it in your voice and through your tears, which are only
for my ears, when you sang to me.

God, Nicky, whether I like it, or you right now, it's inevitable.  You have
my heart.  I am so deeply in love with you that it's killing me not being
able to hold you at night.  But I'm torn now.

Please, Nick, reads these words I have written for you.  Please, read them
and understand my love and pain for you.


					A lesson unlearned

					I do that sometimes
					I push too much
					And I loose

					I want to love
					And I try too hard
					And I loose

					But I don't know how to not
					Tell you what I'm thinking
					I don't know how to not
					Want you in my life



					Back and Forth

					I thought I lost him
					I even tried to lose him
					But apparently he fought
					To stay by my side

					I thought I could stop
					Wanting him so
					And I guess that I did
					But not really as much
					As I wanted to

					He wanted to love me
					But only so much
					He wanted to hold me
					But I was cold to the touch
					Or maybe it was he
					That was cold
					And I
					Who wanted to love and to hold

					But really I don't have time
					To deal with things of the past
					Why worry over loves
					That will never happen
					When I can concentrate
					On lovers that will never be

     (A Lesson Unlearned & Back and Forth Copyright Elisheva A-B 2001)

As God as my witness, I love you, and I don't know if I should, but I do.

I tried, and now it's your turn.

~ Howie ~

The thing with Nick is, sometimes he tries too hard.
~~~~~~~~~~
~Elisheva~
MrClean290@aol.com
Feedback is apprecaited
7 to follow shortly