Date: Sat, 22 Jan 2000 02:33:17 EST From: wesleym2@yahoo.com Subject: To Love Nsync 4 Author's Note: Hello again. This is Wes. This story was inspired by some one I used to hold dear to my heart but... Oh well. Any way, there are some great stories out there. Some are When You Say Nothing At All, Just Beginning, Brian's Seven Sea's of Loneliness, and others. If I was to mention all of them then I wouldn't have time to write. I'm not quite sure how to title this so if someone can think of a better title let me know by sending it to wesleym2@yahoo.com. Who ever sends the best title will get an early edition to every installment of this story. Legal Stuff: If you are underage in your state or country to read sexually explicit material then you should not be here or if you have a problem with homosexuality then leaves as well. Also this is a pure fiction story, it is not to imply that any of the guys from NSYNC are bi or gay. (But we all can dream can't we). Also give NSYNC your support through their tough time. They are a good bunch of guys and they need the support of their fans. Well I'll shut up now so you can read the story. I awoke for no reason. I couldn't remember why I woke up. Justin was still asleep. His arms were wrapped around me. I turned to look at him and his face looked like an angel sleeping there. Yes an angel, my angel. I smiled at him as he slept. I gently got out of the bed and went to the bathroom. When nature calls it calls. I decided not to go back to bed since I wouldn't be able to go to sleep. I looked at the clock and it showed 6:00am. I decided to get dressed and go get a cup of coffee. I wrote a note for Justin letting him know I would be in the cafe down stairs. I grabbed my cell and my key and wallet. I then left the room and went down stairs. Of course it was open but very few customers. I sat down in a booth in the back and a waitress came over and took my order which was just coffee with some milk and sugar. She smiled and left. Soon she was back with my order and sat it down. I told her thanks and she smiled and left. My life seemed perfect but in reality it wasn't. It was very strange. Twice God has stopped me from dying and I thank him for that. I also thank him for Justin. As I sat there I saw a man walk in who seemed to be a minister of some kind. He had a kind face and loving disposition. He sat in the booth in front of me facing me. I smiled at him and he smiled back. He ordered coffee but black. I went back to my own thoughts and questions. Questions, I had so many questions but I didn't know how to ask them. I thought back to when I was sent to the hospital by Lynn Harliss. How I was walking down this tunnel that had only one light and in that light stood a figure. The figure had the most loving face. His voice was like the wind. He told me it wasn't my time. Then he led me back to my body. Then again when I was shot because I didn't have any money on me. The same angel kept me from dying. Saying that it wasn't my time. Then I remember the look on Justin's face as I laid there in the hospital. His face was stained by tears. Like he had failed in protecting me. But then I can see his face light up when we made love for the first time and then when I said yes to his proposal. Every time I look in his eyes I see nothing but love. I didn't realize it but I had let a few tears fall from my eyes. I then realized that I missed him. I jumped when I heard someone clear their throat. "Excuse me but I was sitting across from you and I saw you crying. I was wandering if you were okay?" "Yes I just miss someone I love very much right now. But the weird thing is that he is just upstairs." "May I sit down?" "I'm so sorry sure have a seat." "So you miss your lover but he is just upstairs, how can that be?" "Well right now he is asleep, but when ever I have been ill or injured he is always there by my side and never leaves. But lately our jobs keep us away from each other and when we get done and come back together at the end of the day we go right to bed." "Well it sound like he loves you a great deal and your work I feel could be put aside from time to time." We continued to talk for a while until my cell began to ring. "I'm sorry let me get this right quick." "Ok" "Hello...oh okay I will let the guys know ... yes very well... okay bye. Again I'm sorry about that. You know I never got your name." "I'm sorry I'm Rev. Gabriel. And I really must be going for now But I will see you again someday. Remember Justin loves you and God Loves you." He said as he got up and left. Shortly I got up and headed to the counter to pay but found out that the Rev. had paid my bill. I thanked them and left. I was still a little sad and worried because we were in the same state as my last boyfriend. He loved NSYNC and I knew he had tickets to the concert and would be at every event he could be at and since I am the p.a. I was there to. The elevator ride was short but quiet. I walked to our room and went in with my key. Justin was up and eating some cereal. I smiled at him and he smiled back. I didn't want him to know about Scott being at the concert and stuff. "Hey babe, how was your coffee?" "It was okay, I met a preacher down there he went by the name Rev. Gabriel. It was weird he told me that God loves all of his people and that to put all of my trust in him and to love the one God gave me." It was then I let a tear fall. Justin saw that and jumped up and came to me. When he reached me I broke down. "Justin I feel like we are falling apart." "I know we aren't babe we just have so much work lately." He just held me. I remembered a song off of the new Celine Dion c.d. I had bought a couple of days ago. I pulled away from Justin to put the song on. "Justin, I want you hear a song that tells how I felt when I first ever saw your face." The melody softly came through the speakers. Then Celine's voice began to sing. I walked over to Justin and he held me as the melody carried us off to a far of place. The first time ever I saw your face I thought the sun rose in your eyes And the moon and the stars were the gifts you gave To the dark and the endless skies my love I looked into his eyes and saw tears forming. They weren't tears of sadness they were tears of tremendous love. Yes our past few days had been busy and our alone time was very short. The first time ever I kissed your mouth I felt the earth move through my hand Like the trembling heart of a captive bird That was there at my command my love As the first line finished I kissed Just on his tender, and moist lips. And at that moment I could feel the earth move with love. We broke the kiss. Justin took my hand. It was trembling not from pain or fear but uncertainty. He knew that. I watched as he took my hand and kissed it. Then he just held it. I had let a few more tears fall. And Justin with his free hand wiped them away. The first time ever I lay with you And felt your heart so close to mine Gently he eased me down to the floor. I just stared at his blue eyes. Watching them fill with love over and over. My heart began to pound. It pounded with the beat of love in it. He pulled me fully into his arms. I felt his warm breath on my head. I leaned against his chest. I could hear his heart beat. It was a strong loving beat. And I knew now that it was beating for me. How could I have ever doubted Justin's love. I felt ashamed for doing so. I tried to pull away but He just held me. The first time ever I saw your face Your face Your face Your face He gently pulled my face to him. I wanted to turn away but he wouldn't let me. I finally let go and then we kissed. It wasn't filled with lust, it was filled with love in the purest form. I then realized that I had nothing to fear because I was loved and I had finally learned to truly love someone back. True love isn't shown through the things you buy for one another. It is shown through the heart. The act of love making is one way of showing love for the other person. But there are many ways. It can be with a kiss, or just being held. True love comes from the small things a person does. When love hits you it is like at first a ton of bricks but then you are like floating on air. Your heart flutters at the mention of your lovers name. That's how I felt with Justin. "Babe that was a beautiful song. I know you feel lonely for these past few days but that is going to change right now. Both you and me are going to stay here and be with each other." I smiled at him and knew he wasn't going to take no for an answer. "Okay babe, But I do have to let all of you know about an addition to the tour." "Who babe?" "I will tell you as soon as everyone gets here." With that I called all of the guys and they came over to our room for the information I had for them. After about 10 minutes every one was here. "Okay first things first, today both me and Justin are going to stay here. There isn't anything on the schedule so I don't want to hear any complaints. Now the other thing is I got a call from Jive this morning and we have an addition to the tour, the Backstreet Boys will be joining the tour tomorrow, that will give them time to rehearse for the concert at the end of the week. Any questions?" They shook there heads no. "Okay well now you have your day off so get out of here so me and Just can enjoy ours." They giggled and they all walked out and I closed the door. I turned to Justin and I smiled because he was still sitting in the floor. I walked over to him and sat down beside him. "Wes I want you to hear something from the same CD. It's Because You Loved Me." He pushed play on the remote. And we heard Celine's voice come through the speakers. For all those times you stood by me For all the truth you made me see For all the joy you brought to my life For all the wrong that you made right For every dream you made come true For all the love I found in you I'll be forever thankful baby You're the one who helped me up Never let me fall You're the one who saw me through Through it all I just stared in his blue eyes. Those were the words that he wanted to tell me but couldn't say them. But also they were the same words I wanted to say to him. He gently helped me stand after he did. Once I was standing we began to dance. Not exactly to the beat of the song but to the beat of love. You were my strength when I was weak You were my voice when I couldn't speak You were my eyes when I couldn't see You saw the best there was in me Lifted me up when I couldn't reach You gave faith because you believed I'm everything I am Because you loved me We just danced to the song. I laid my head on his shoulder. He laid his on mine. His arms wrapped around my waist. Our dance was basically just moving side to side but I didn't care. I was with Justin the one I loved. Some how we walked or should I say danced over to the bed. He pulled away from me and pulled me down to the bed. You gave me wings and made me fly You touched my hand I could touch the sky I lost my faith you give it back to me You said most all was out of reach You stood by me and I stood tall I had your love I had it all I'm grateful for each day you gave me Baby I don't know that much but I know this much is true I was bless because I was loved by you He unbuttoned my shirt and gently slid it off. His touch was like a feather. I looked into his eyes, I didn't see lust, I saw passion for love. His eye glimmered of it. He leaned down and gave me a kiss. I could feel him gently laying down on top of me. We were still in a kiss as I started to work on his shirt. I slid it up his slender but well built chest. We broke the kiss so I could fully pull the shirt off of him. I tossed the shirt over on to the floor. You were my strength when I was weak You were my voice when I couldn't speak You were my eyes when I couldn't see You saw the best there was in me Lifted me up when I couldn't reach You gave faith because you believed I'm everything I am Because you loved me There we were both of us bare chested. Skin against skin. Justin began kissing my neck, he knew that was my sensitive area. I let out a moan and he moved down to my collar bone. Gently giving it kisses as he moved down to my chest. He first kisses my right nipple then my left. Which brought out a moan from my lips. He then began his treck down my abs and down to my navel. He reached my pants edge and stopped. He looked up at me to make sure I was okay to go further. I nodded okay and he undid my pants. I lifted up so he could pull them down and off. I was totally nude laying there waiting on Just to return to my mouth for more kisses. You were always there for me Your tender wind that carried me Night and the dark shining your love into my life You've been my inspiration You realize you were the truth My world is a better place because of you I pulled him up to me and we began to kiss once more. I rolled him over onto his back. I broke our kiss and began working my way down his chest. I kissed his right nipple and lightly bit it and then did the same for the left. I started kissing my way down to his navel. I kissed it and gave little kisses down to the edge of his boxers. I slid my fingers under the band and he lifted up slightly so I could pull them off of him. You were my strength when I was weak You were my voice when I couldn't speak You were my eyes when I couldn't see You saw the best there was in me Lifted me up when I couldn't reach You gave faith because you believed I'm everything I am Because you loved me You were my strength when I was weak You were my voice when I couldn't speak You were my eyes when I couldn't see You saw the best there was in me Lifted me up when I couldn't reach You gave faith because you believed I'm everything I am Because you loved me I'm everything I am Because you loved me I slid them off and moved back up to Justin's awaiting mouth. Now both of us nude we kissed and our hands roamed each others bodies. We slowly began to grind our hips together. As the song ended an another started. We were so into what we were doing we really never noticed what song was playing. He rolled me over on back and was on top of me. "I want you in me Just." He gave me look as in asking if I was sure. I shook my head yes. He smiled to reassure me. He lifted up my legs and place his dick at the entrance of my hole. Just as he began to push in he kissed me on my mouth. I was filled with pain as his head made it through. I let a tear fall. Just stopped to let me adjust to him being there and without any lube. He wiped away the tear I shed and kissed my cheek. When the pain was gone I gave him a nod and he began to push in the rest of him. This time there was more pleasure than pain. Again he locked up in a kiss of passion. Our tongues swirled around each others mouth. When he was fully in he stopped and took a breath. Gently and evenly he began to pull out and push in. I was in complete bliss. We were thrown into new heights of passion. I kissed his chest. And he moaned. "I love you" he panted as he made love to me. He never got rough. Just long even strokes. He then began to kiss my neck and that made me gasp from pleasure. He knew it wouldn't be long till I came. And I knew he was getting close. He stopped and laid on top of me and just kissed me. I could feel his heart beat through his chest. Mine was racing. He began his strokes again. I rolled him over on his back and I was riding him. And at the same time I dick was rubbing his stomach. "Oh Just...I... oh Love you so much." I said. "I'm close babe." "Me to babe, me too." From deep in my stomach I could feel something stirring. I felt it grow up through my body. I began to tingle. I felt my dick grow and I knew I was about to cum. "Here I come babe!!!" we said at the same time. And when we finished saying that we both began to cum. I was shaking and so was he. I was so weak all of the sudden. I had cum like I had never cum before. I didn't know how many times I did but we were a mess. Cum was seeping out of my asshole and I just fell on top of Justin. Both of us were panting like we had just finished a marathon. "Oh babe, that was..." I was all shaky still. Justin just held me. "I know, babe I know." Justin said. "Let's get some sleep okay." "Okay babe, I love you." "Diddo." With that we fell asleep. I awoke voices outside in the hall. Some were familiar and some weren't. I looked around and Justin was gone. I got up and saw a note on the table that was from Justin. Babe, I woke up and decided to get a shower and go see what the guys were up to. I will most likely be in J.C.'s room. If I'm not there then you can call my cell. I love You. Justin I smiled and put the note down and went to get a shower. I still had cum, dry but still cum on me. I was a little sore but that was a price of love. I started the water and when I got it the right temp. I stepped in and began to wash my self. I could still hear voices in the hall and they seem to get louder and angrier. I hurriedly finished washing and got dressed after I dried off. I put on some comfortable clothes and stepped out into the hall way. No one saw the door open or heard it. I looked down the hall and to my surprise the BSB were already here and NSYNC was trying to get them to their rooms and the BSB road manager was trying to get in touch with someone. The BSB was telling him to quit but it seemed that they weren't going to end this fussing anytime soon. I saw Justin and he was also speaking to this road manager. I walked up to them just in time to hear Justin speak to this guy. "Listen you prick, Wes is asleep and if you wake him up for something as stupid as getting a schedule you are gonna pay big time." " I don't give a flying fuck what you say, I'm the BSB road manager and if that intels waking up your faggot boyfriend then so be it." Before I could stop him Justin hit the man square in the jaw and knocked him down. "Don't you ever disrespect him or anyone again. You got that you son of a bitch!!!!!" It was then that I stepped up and Kevin was the first one to see me. The look on my face was enough to tell him that I was more than pissed. And it was true but not at Justin. He got others out of my way and I walked up to the man on the floor. Justin saw my face and backed off. Chris and Joey didn't want me to hurt the man. "Wes, please don't hurt him." They pleaded. "Oh I won't hurt him but he will regret ever crossing my path." I pulled out my cell and dialed the number for Jive and waited for someone to answer. "Yes, can I speak with David please... okay thank you... Hello, David, I will be okay once we clear something up... yeah the boys are here, but they aren't the problem... Yeah it's the road manager... Oh he isn't supposed to be with the boys but with the crew...oh his job was only the crew management and not the boys... oh I'm supposed to take care of that... okay I thank you." I hung up the phone and I looked over to Kevin. "Why is he with you guys when he is supposed to be with the crew downstairs?" Kevin and the other guys were shocked. "We didn't know, we got this call from management telling us we will be getting a new manager for the tour and we thought he was it because he had all the paper work and all." "Well the manager you were told about is me, and he was the new road crew manager. He may have changed the paper work or something but now that everything is straight on who is who, I was told that if I wanted I could send him home and he would be out of a job or I could change his position." They all smiled except the man on the floor. I knelt down and helped the man to his feet. "Now as for your very nice description of me and Justin, I think you should be commended... NOT" and I balled up my fist it made contact with his nose, which I heard crack. But my hand cracked to. "Now that was a warning you ever cross that line again your gonna wish you were dead. Now get back where you belong. Guards!!" They came and took him back downstairs. Justin grabbed my hand to see if anything broke. I knew nothing did but it sure as hell hurt like hell. I turned my head towards the guys. "Anyone else want to insult me or Justin?" I got a whole lot of no's. "Okay now that is settled, let me introduce myself." I said to them, "I'm Wes Cook, NSYNC's p.a. and I just found out that I will be yours as well. Now are there any problems with me and Justin being together?" Again every head shook no. I smiled and then helped them to their rooms. I told them that there will be a meeting in my room when I knew everyone was settled in. After about and hour and a half I received notice that all the Backstreet Boys had gotten settled and was heading to my room. I called the guys of NSYNC and let them know. The meeting was a surprise to us all but needed since the guys of BSB arrived early. In about 15 minutes everyone was in my room accounted for and waiting on me. Everyone except Justin kept at a distance. Fearing that I might go off on them like I did on that guy in the hall. That was the first thing I was going to cover. "Okay guys, I know our first meeting didn't go over too well. I never get that angry unless I am called a faggot and what is worse was he called my boyfriend a faggot. Now I want you too know that I am easy going and am fairly flexible on rules and schedules." I decided to take a pause and let them take in what I had said. "Now today is an off day, for everyone. I expect you all to enjoy it because the rest of the week will be hell on you and two times that on me. There will be times I will get short and very temperamental so please don't take offense if I go off on you. Also if you need to talk to some one I am here for you. I don't care what it is about but not at 3 or 4 in the morning." I got some laughs out of that. I told them the schedule for the rest of the week which of course got some groans but oh well. " Now are there any questions?" Sure enough there were from both groups. "Okay Kevin what's yours?" "It is kind of personal but it is about you and Justin, how will you two make time for each other?" He asked me in a very concerned voice. "I hope that if we need one another or something we would go to that person. And since you brought that up, there will be times that I will have my cell off and beeper off. If that is the case I am spending time with Justin and do not want to be disturbed." I said to them and they agreed with me. The next question came from Justin. "Yes babe?" "Can I get a kiss?" He said with puppy eyes I smiled and went to him and gave him a kiss. We only broke when I felt a pillow hit me in the back. I turned and saw Nick pointing at Brian. But A.J. and Kevin and Howie pointed at Nick. "That's okay who ever did it will get paid for it later, unless he confesses now." I said as mischievously as I could. I was looking at Nick and he had his head down. "It's okay Nick I will let you slide this time but be warned next time you might wake up in a wet bed." He jerked his head up with a look of shock and disbelief. "Oh didn't I tell you I have a master key to every room on this floor. Just incase I have to get in for emergency." Everyone giggled and I smiled. There were several more questions mostly about me and how I met Justin. I told them and I went ahead and told them about Scott coming to every thing NSYNC was apart of. This made Justin a little upset but we would talk about it later. We finished the meeting and I sent them out of my room and for them to have a day of rest. "Okay Justin let's talk." I said plainly. "I just don't want him to try anything, and... I don't know I have this feeling that he may try something." "Well I don't know babe but don't worry about it okay. Let's get some rest we have a busy day tomorrow." "Okay I love you." "Diddo." Was all I said. The next day was going to be one that I think we would dread because of him and me meeting again since the break up. I just hope nothing goes wrong. **The Next Day** Today was a photo shoot and autograph signing. When one group was in the shoot the other would be at a table doing autographs. Of course I was at the table with NSYNC when I saw Him. My blood ran cold. I was a little scared and nervous. What should I do? I asked myself. I turned to Lance since he was on the end. "Lance I'm gonna go to the bathroom for a moment okay." "Okay" was all he said. When I got up Scott saw me and watch me go to the bathroom. I didn't know but he followed me. I had already finished my business and was washing my hands when he came in. "Hello Wes, I didn't know you were going to be here." "Well there are a lot of things you don't know." I said with a hint of anger. "What do you mean?" "Well until the groups leave town I will be here since I am their P.A. and Tour Manager." I said in a matter of fact way. "Oh, that's good, have you gotten someone new?" The way he asked that pissed me off. "Yeah I do but it's no concern of yours, remember you dumped me." I said with more anger showing. "I guess I deserve that huh." "Who was it? Was it some one you knew or I knew or both of us knew?" "What do you mean?" "Don't play dumb with me you know exactly what I mean." "No I don't." "Who was it that you were fucking when you were with me!!!" "No one, the distance is what got to me." I knew he was lying but I couldn't make him give me the truth. "I realized that I made a very bad choice and I hoped that we could get back together..." I cut him off. "THERE IS NO FUCKING WAY ON GOD'S GREAN EARTH THAT I WOULD EVER COME BACK TO YOUR SORRY ASS." This got him mad. And it hurt him. "Who is it that your fucking huh, is it one of the NSYNC guys or is it one of the BSB guys?" "Oh no you don't, I ain't telling you shit about my personal life so just go fuck your self." I said and started to walk out. I passed him and he grabbed me. "Let go of me you fucker." "Oh, you don't remember that I have a temper which is easily set off." He said through clenched teeth. I had never seen him this angry before. He pinned me against the wall, and forced a kiss on me. I only knew one way to get him off of me. I brought up my knee and it met him square in the nuts. He staggered backwards and doubled over. I took the chance to get out of there. I made myself calm down before I got back with the guys. Now BSB was at the table and NSYNC was in their shoot. As I passed Nick said hi and I just ignored him. He saw the look on my face and said nothing else. The only problem was that Justin also saw my expression and came over too me from where he was standing on the side waiting for his turn in the solo shots. "Babe, what's wrong?" He said quietly. I just shook my head no and he knew that now was not the time to talk or the place. Unbeknown to me Scott had regained his composure and came out of the bathroom. He was still pissed but let it go for now. He got in line to have his BSB things signed and hopefully get his NSYNC things signed. I just happen to turn and saw him talking to A.J. at the table. I couldn't hear what was said but apparently he convinced him that He knew me and that he wanted to say hi. Both him and A.J. walked over to me. "Hey Wes, this guy here says he knows you and that you two are very good friends." Scott was just smiling at me. "Correction A.J. he was a very good friend of mine but when he dumped me for some slut that changed." Everyone around in hearing range turned to see who I was talk about. Scott's face lost its smile. "Let me guess you thought by knowing me you would get to see these guys beyond the normal appearances they have." I knew that was part of it but I wouldn't go in to the other. I turned and walked off. A.J. was apologizing to him and gave him a backstage pass to the big concert at the end of the week. Justin followed me. I found a seat and sat down. I knew he was there but I wouldn't look up to him because I was crying. My face was wet with tears. Yes I loved Scott at one time and I still have a special spot in my heart for him but I didn't want to lose Justin. I loved Justin more than I loved Scott. Why was it so hard? Justin finally got my head up and saw my face. He called J.C. over. "I'm taking Wes back to the hotel and I may not be back." "Justin you have to go on the set in a few seconds could it wait please." Pleaded J.C. "Justin I'll be okay just do your part of the shoot and then we can go." He knew there was no arguing so we waited till he was done and left. Once back at the hotel and in our room I broke down. "Wes, what happened today?" "He...he forced me to kiss him." I sobbed I felt like I had betrayed Justin. I started to pull the ring off he had given me. "No Wes don't." "But I betrayed you." I sobbed. I was sitting on the bed and he got on his knees in front of me. "No Wes you didn't, he forced you too so it was his fault not yours." I turned from those beautiful blue eyes. How could he still love me after what I did? He gently placed his finger on my face and turned it back to him. "Wes I love you and you have as yet to make me doubt you. I know that you have a special place in your heart for him but I want to believe that part is very small and the rest of it is for me," "It is." I had stopped crying but tears still fell from my face. I felt his hands wipe away my tears. He then gently raised up to kiss me. The kiss was gentle and loving. I felt him push me up on the bed. I broke the kiss. "I don't feel like making love babe." I said in a weak voice. " I know but I thought we could take a nap together." "Okay babe, I love you so much." "Diddo." And with that we laid down and soon both of us were fast asleep. TBC... What will happen the next time Wes and Scott meet? I guess we will just see. Again I want to thank every one who has emailed me about the story. If you sent me an e-mail and didn't get a reply please re-send it because I may have deleted it by accident. Also, the next installment won't be out for a while because I am having some family problems and that is taking up my normal writing time. And Ranger if you read this I want you to know that this part isn't here to belittle you. I know you aren't that way. So bye till next time people.