Date: Sat, 8 Jul 2000 21:25:06 EDT From: Khiem725@aol.com Subject: "Umm...Whatever" -- Chapter 3 -- Gay Male/Celebrity/ Umm... Whatever - Chapter 3 More folks to thank: As always, Gabriella. You are too cool for words... except one, 'slutty bitch'! =)... oh wait... that's two words... opps! I'm just messin' with ya. You know you aren't a bitch... ; ) I love ya. Umm... thanks to like, all the other people who wrote me. See, I would put your names up here, but then AOL erases my mail after a week and so I'm like "damn!" Sorry. Fred, too freakishly cool. Thanks. Mr. Rick- for like, showin' me how to send this and stuff. I'm kinda of an airhead, I guess. I'm not good with anything. I'll just sit here and look pretty or something................ Thanks to Harrison (cool name, ain't it?) Disclaimer and stuff: Okay folks! Don't think that this is real, because then you'd be kinda weird... not that that's a bad thing, but still. And I don't know anyone famous which totally sucks! Chapter 3 Now, the thing about chocolate is that it makes me really thirsty. I wanted so badly to get up and grab a drink of water, but then... I started to think. Yes... I know. Thinking can really make me confused and stuff. That's why I rarely do it. I knew Joey was probably still kinda pissed off about the whole kick in the stomach thingy, so I couldn't just stroll out of the bunk. But I didn't want to stay in there. I mean, the whole kiss thingy was really very freaky! I didn't know how to interpret that... Maybe JC was just really affectionate. Maybe he just likes to kiss people. Although now that I think of it, I've never seen him kiss someone else before. Maybe it was a spur of the moment kind of thing... yeah! That's it! He was probably thinking of someone else... most likely! We just laid there in silence for a while. I didn't know what to say so I stayed quiet. I was dying of thirst, and my nipples were freezing. Why did they have to blast the air conditioning so high? Soon, I just feel asleep. "Khiem..." I heard JC say right before I fell asleep. He just sighed and wrapped the blanket around me tighter... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Now, I've never been able to remember my dreams. And I know I've had a lot of them. And lots of them are really really really weird! But for some reason, when I woke up an hour later, I could still remember the dream that I just had. It was kinda weird. JC wasn't beside me anymore. We were still moving, which meant that we weren't there yet. Ugh! How slow can a bus go? So I jumped out of the bunk and looked around. JC was playing cards with Justin while Joey was just observing, waitin' for his turn most likely. I peeked in Lances bunk and he was still fast asleep. Looking at him made me smile. I don't know why but it did. Weird... Walking into the TV area, I found Chris flippin' through the channels. Hearing me come in, he looked up and smiled, patting the area next to him for me to sit. "Hello, my child." Chris said. "My child? I'm already 17 Chris. I'm not a child anymore." I said, smilin'. "That's Uncle Chris to you! I swear! Children these days don't have any respect for their elders!" Chris said, shaking his head. "Oh yeah! That's right. You're about to reach the big 3 - 0. Wow..." I laughed at him. He had this hurt look on his face. "Did you come here to just make fun of me?" He asked, smilin'. "I'm an edu-ma-cated individual. Don't was my time, kid." "Really? You're educated? Like, high school or something?" I asked. "No you idiot! Believe it or not, I went to college." He smiled proudly. "No way! I don't believe you! Of all the guys, I would have thought that you'd be the high school drop out!" I said. "Hey! Watch it, kid!" He snarled at me. "Por tu informationes or something, I have a degree in Psychology!" Chris smiled proudly, clipping his thumbs behind his imaginary suspenders. "But I'm guessin' you didn't do well in Spanish." I said. "So if you do have a degree in psychology and stuff, maybe you can help me out." I asked him. "Sure, what about?" "Well, I had this dream. And I know that dream analysis isn't really taken that seriously anymore, but I was wondering if you could dig into my unconscious and like, ya know, find out what's up and stuff." I asked. "I guess. I can try, but don't take my advice to seriously okay? Even though I am a college man, I still am a crazy ho monkey!" He said, somewhat serious. I nodded. "Okay, but you can't tell anyone, alright? Promise?" I said, all seriously. "Of course not. Medical ethics and stuff." He said. "You aren't a doctor!" "Still... medical ethics and all!" He smiled at me. I trusted him. I didn't know him very well but I knew he was one to trust. "Well, okay. So like, I had this dream. And the weird thing is, I never remember my dreams! But anyways, I had this dream just now. I was being chased by a big, but very cute, purple dragon. Ya know, like Puff the Magic Dragon or something. And like, I was cutting through traffic, screamin' for help and stuff. But no one would help and they just ignored me and stuff. I ran into an alley and there was a dead end. And then the dragon came up to me. He was hoverin' over me and I was standin' there looking into its eyes. I wasn't scared or nothing anymore. But it was like, I was just standin' there, waitin' for it to barbeque me. But then, it didn't. next thing I know, I'm on it's back and he's flying me away to somewhere!" I said. "Hanalei?" Chris said. "Huh?" I was totally confused. "Like the song. You know. 'Puff the Magic Dragon lived by the sea. And frolicked in the autumn mist in a place called Hanalei..." Chris sang. "Oh yeah! You're right! Wow..." That used to be my favorite story when I was younger. "So, what you're saying is that, I'm Jackie Paper and I'm gonna be flyin' off to paradise or something?" "Well, I'm getting some ideas and stuff. But did anything happen before you went to sleep or something? Cause usually, the last thing you're thinkin' about before you fall asleep is what you dream about." Chris said. He WAS smart. I couldn't believe it. It felt kinda like taking advice from someone younger, but not. Ya know? I didn't know if I should tell him. I mean, I wasn't stupid either. What if JC was gay or something and like, no one knew? I wasn't really afraid of outin' myself, but I didn't want to do that to JC if he really was gay! But then, Chris was a very open minded dude. "Well... umm... like... ya know. I was in JC's bunk and stuff. Then, out of no where, he kisses me. And now, I'm like so confused about the whole thing. I'm not really good at inferrin', ya know? So like if JC just flat out and said, "I like you" or something, that'd be great. But no! He has to be all discreet and stuff about it. And my head hurts now." I said, slumping into the chair, pouting. "Wow... So JC's puttin' the move on a juvenile." He said. "So you're gay?" He asked. "Yeah. Is JC?" I asked. He looked at the curtain, checking to see that no one was gonna barge in and whispered to me, "Yes." I was totally wowed. I didn't know what to say. And that's a first! "Um... oh. Okay then. Well..." I babbled. Chris just laughed. "Well, as for that dream! It's like an omen or something, ya know? You're half Asian and stuff! And JC is totally into that Asian stuff. He's the dragon! Purple is the gay color! You're little Jackie Paper." "Oh yeah! JC's born in '76! Duh! And then, his necklace is a dragon symbol! I should've known! But then, I didn't know purple was the gay color." I said. "See, the thing about the mind is, ya never gonna figure it out. Maybe you like, heard it somewhere. Then it just slipped into your dream from your unconscious!" Chris said. This was all making sense! But then, I didn't know whether to be excited or what? If anything, I was probably more confused, ya know! Cause like, JC likes me. And I like him, but I don't know if it's that kind of 'like'. "I'm really confused Chris! I don't know what to think." I said, frowning. "Well. You're young, Khiem. I think maybe you should get to know JC better over the next few days or whatever. There's lots you gotta learn and stuff. No pressure or anything. And all the guys are here to help you out! But I don't think you should take advice from Joey. He's all about sex, sex and more sex. Lance will be a big help though." "Why Lance? Huh?" I asked. "Never mind. Just come to me then. I'll help you! Now, lets forget about all of this for now and go steal some of Joey's candy." Chris said, pulling me up. "Hey! How'd you..." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Finally! After what seemed like days, we were finally in San Diego! Yay! It was already two or something and we had to head off to MTV and stuff. Grabbing my bag, I quickly jumped off the bus and ran towards Jack. "... And Khiem, you're with me." Jack said. He was reading the room arrangements and passin' out the keys. I always roomed with Jack. It was fun. When we're alone, he seems so much more relaxed and stuff. We spend most of the night just talking about stuff. And that's how I usually fall asleep. Jack would usually bring up some stupid and boring story and I'd fall asleep. It's a good thing I fall asleep before him because he's a loud snorer. "Fine. As long as you promise me not to snore loud." I said. "Deal. As long as you promise me that you won't kick in your sleep." He said back. I thought about it for a second, nodded, then grabbed the keycard and ran upstairs to change. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "You know what?" I whispered to Justin. We were finally at MTV SoCal beach house. Not knowing my way around, I chose to stick with the band for awhile. Carson and stuff had just came by and shook hands with the guys and chatted. He looked at me and I smiled, reaching out my hand, but he just ignored me and left. That asshole. He's lucky I'm not heavy on first impressions. "What?" Justin asked. "Carson's really big in person." I commented. Not that that was a bad thing. But I just didn't understand why anyone would find him incredibly hot. Justin laughed. "You know, with Carson, everything is big!" Justin told me. "Watch out for his ego." I expected that. He seemed to be really pompous and stuff. "Guys. All right guys. It's time to go. Come on." Maria said. She was the pr dude at MTV or something like that. I'm not really good with titles and stuff. I guess that's why I always say '... and stuff.' Anyways, Maria gathered up the guys and proceeded to take them out to the deck. So now, I was free to do anything I wanted. Maria was very nice. She gave me this pass thingy so that I could walk around freely. I made my way out to the pool, which was right under where the deck was. From there, I was gonna be able to see the guys and Carson. It was really crowded. The music was on really really loudly and all the people were just grindin' away. Everyone was tanned and beautiful... well, not everyone, but still. It wasn't really hot outside. It was prolly low nineties or something. The music stopped and people were yelling at everyone to keep it down. From my view, I could see the cards that Carson was supposed to read. That was weird. Being behind the scene is so different and stuff. Like, I didn't even know that when they went to commercial, people run around telling people where to stand and stuff. As if they were decoration or whatever. I found a seat next to the pool and just stared at everybody behind my glasses. I was going to take a dip, which was my plan in the first place, but the water was kinda warm. Not warm as in, 'heat warm'. But warm as in, 'urine warm.' The smell was totally radiating everywhere. The people who were in the pool didn't seem to enjoy it either, but I guess that's where they were told to stand. So I just decided to just sit there and tan myself. The interview was blastin' through the speakers and it was the same old stuff. I've heard it so many times. Five minutes passed and I could tell that I wasn't tanning. Nope, rather, I was burning. So I got up and went inside. I was hoping to meet someone famous. I had my backpack and stuff with me. Now, I'm one of those freaks who likes to videotape everything. And this was just the occasion! I mean, it's not like I go and hang out at MTV everyday, ya know? "All right. We're here at MTV SoCal beach house. The guys are up there with Carson talking about stuff. This is the pool." I said, pointing the camera towards the pool and crowd of people. "I'm not going to touch the water though... it's urine infested." I continued filming the scenery and some of the folks there. People kept coming up to me and waving at the camera. I guess they thought I was some documentary dude or something, I dunno. But it did make for a colourful video. "Okay. This is the beach house. I haven't met anyone famous yet, but maybe I can get an interview with Carson or something. The show just ended awhile ago. As you can see, they're pushing everyone out and tellin' them to go home." I filmed the house and the now empty pool and went to look for the guys. "Let's go find a restroom. You would think that they could afford to put signs on all these doors, but nooo." There were lots of people just running around with headsets on. They were all really nice and stuff. I went around and asked lots of the employees stuff. There was this one guy. His name was Paul. "So Paul, do you like your job?" I asked him. "Yeah. It's MTV dude! Gotta love it. I gets to travel." He was a camera natural. I guess he spent so much time behind the camera that he just let loose in front. "Do you know Carson?" I asked him. "Yeah. Who doesn't? If you ask me, he's got a big head." "So I've heard." "After every commercial, he's callin' the make up lady. And believe me! He needs a lot of it! Just imagine what he'd look like." Paul said. "For real? So I'm guessin' you aren't really fond of him and stuff." "Who is? That asshole better watch himself. Usin' people as if he's the fuckin' Pres or somethin'." He guy obviously had a sore spot for Carson. "Do you think he'll give me an interview or something like that?" "I don't know where he is. Look around. The guy is an ass, but he loves to be on camera. He hogs it." Paul said. His mic started talking to him and he excused himself. So I walked around, looking to see where Carson could have gone. He wasn't with the guys. "Do you know where Carson is?" I asked a lady in the hall. "Try the last few doors on the right." She said and walked off. I was still filming the whole time. I didn't want to miss anything. You never know, someone famous might just walk pass me. So I went to the end of the hallway and started peeking through the doors. "Did you ever notice how Carson is such a poser? It's so obvious that he thinks the whole Pop thing is a joke. His show is a joke to him. I think they should replace him. Maybe with a talking monkey or somethin', ya know? Carson looks like a monkey." I said into the camera. People walking pass me gave me weird looks and I just smiled sheepishly and continued down the hall. I stopped in front of the first door on the right. "Okay. Behind this door is Carson. Let's see if we can get an interview from him." I turned the knob and pushed open the door. I sighed. "Well, at least I know where the restroom is now... Ugh!" So instead of making another grand announcement, I just pushed the second door open. "And here's... Oh my freakin' God!" I yelled and quickly shut the door closed. I was freakishly shocked. I just backed up against the wall with my mouth hanging open. Oh! My virgin eyes! Carson finally came barging out, buckling his belt. He looked angry. He came up to me and grabbed my shirt. "You fuckin' punk!" He yelled in my face. "I'm... I'm... I'm sorry! I didn't know!" Someone could have warned me, ya know! Especially that Paul guy! "Give me that fuckin' camera!" He ordered. "But... but it's mine!" He was about to punch me or something so I pushed him against the other wall and ran. But he was right behind me. "Ahhhh! Help!" I yelled through the studio. I saw the guys to my right. They were all standing around talking to someone. I don't know whom. So I made my way over to them as fast as I could. "Guys! Guys!" I yelled. I grabbed JC and hid behind him. All the guys were like "Huh?" and stuff and saw Carson charging up with his hands balled up in a fist. "I am so gonna fuckin' beat yo ass!" He yelled. He tried to reach for me but JC blocked him. Joey and Chris held him back. By this time, lots of people were surroundin' us. Everyone was looking at us. "I already said I was sorry! Gawd! How could I know? I didn't know you had some underage teenager givin' you a blowjob! God!" I yelled back. Everyone gasped and looked at Carson. "Umm... That is beside the point! He's got some fuckin' nerve to just barge in like that. And with a camera!" Carson tried to change the subject but failing miserably. "A blowjob, huh." Chris said to Carson. "Dude, that is one nasty sight to see. You have probably scared this child for life!" Chris said, pointing to me. "And not to mention the poor girl." "Umm... it wasn't a girl, Chris." I corrected him. Everyone gasped again. Carson was humiliated, I think. "Wow... Carson! I can't believe you..." Chris said with mock shock. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "That was fun!" I said. We were on our way to the hotel for dinner. Carson wanted to kill me, but I stood behind JC the whole time. "Fun? You made Carson cry! I've never seen a grown man cry like that before. He just ran off to his room!" Chris cracked up. I felt good for doing whatever it was I did but I also felt bad too. It's that whole conscience thingy. UGH! But anyway, everyone laughed it off afterwards. I promised the MTV people that I wouldn't tell anyone and stuff. "Oh, well. He deserved it. No one likes him. He's got a huge ass ego. Everyone there said so! And who in their right mind would give Carson a blowjob? Ewwww! I'm gonna have nightmares for a week!" I shivered just at the thought of it. "Don't remind me. I always thought he was fruity... always callin' me his best friend and shit." Justin said. "You know, you're wrong Justin." I said. "Wrong about what?" He asked. "Not EVERYTHIN' of Carson's is big." I said, petting my recorder. He looked confused for a second there. Then he remembered his comment earlier about how everything about Carson was big. I smiled and winked at him and got out of the car as it parked in front of the hotel. "Ewwwwww! That's too much info!" I heard Chris yell from the car. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "So... are you going to go to the concert tonight?" Joey asked. The guys all took showers and changed into work out clothes. I was in Joey's room while he was getting ready. I was playing my Game boy. Tetris, to be exact. "No, I'm kinda tired." I said, still playing. "You tired? Look at Lance!" He said. "What about Lance?" I asked, still paying very much attention to my game. I was on level 13. "He was up all night yesterday. Runnin' around LA at 3 in the mornin' tryin' to find a sports store that was opened." Joey said. "Why would he do that?" I asked. "Did he not give them to you?" Joey asked, looking at me in the mirror. "Give what?" "Those shoes. The Nike. He went out after you went to bed and found a store that was opened and bought them for you." Joey said, walking into the bathroom to get some deodorant. I was really blah. So blah, in fact, that I gamed over. Lance went out and bought me the shoes that I lost? In the middle of the night? But why? He told me that the manager gave it to him. I looked down at the shoes. I was even wearin' 'em right now. They were brand new. I should have noticed. My old ones have some dirt stains on the right pair. These didn't. I didn't know what to think. It was something that only Lance would have done. That brought a smile to my face. "Wow..." I whispered, just staring at my shoes. "Khiem... Hello!" Joey yelled into my ear, waking me of my daydream. "Oh... sorry. Let's go." Joey walked over to Jack/my room and I walked over to Lance's. I knocked on the door and waited. Finally, Lance opened the door, shirtless I might add. =) "Thank you." I hugged him tightly. He started laughing. "What for?" He said, hugging back. "The shoes. Why didn't you tell me you bought them for me?" I asked. "Hey! Who told you?" He asked. "Joey. But that doesn't matter. Thank you." I released my hands from around him but he was still holdin' on to me. Kinda weird... "You should hurry up. Everyone is meetin' in Jack/my room." I told him. "Jack/my?" "Yeah! It's my room too! And don't you forget that!" I pointed at him. He tried to bite my finger but I pulled back. "I'll meet you over there." I said then punched him in the arm. "Hey! What the hell was that for?" "That was for lying to me about the shoes! Now get gone!" I smiled at him and turned to walk to Jack/my room. The End... Stay tuned to scenes from the next episode of "Umm... whatever!" Not!!! =) I'm not gonna say anything. I know this chapter was like... kinda blah... but that's because I wrote it kinda quickly... even though I did post it kinda late... you do the math.