Date: Thu, 17 Feb 2005 21:24:14 +0000 (GMT) From: Jezebel Subject: Want part 4 *Tim* So there I was, standing under the warm stream of Justin's shower, thinking about how I had just deflowered a virgin and wondering if Justin had done the same to Britney Spears. I didn't much follow pop music, but even I knew about the gossip pages that spread rumours about these two and others like them. I wondered what they would do if they ever found out that Justin was gay and that this was probably the reason that Britney was still a virgin. I knew that Justin was waiting for me. I couldn't wait in the shower too long because he would probably worry then that I would leave him or that he had done something wrong and the last thing that I wanted was his insecurities to take over. That would ruin the night that we were having. I dried off as best I could and then walked back into his room, leaving the towel behind and giving him a view of my full nakedness. I'm comfortable with my own body, in my line of work it comes in handy, or at least it did then and I knew that I was going to show Justin a lot more of my body before the night was out. He would get used to my form and I was already aware that he seemed amazed by it, not that I was anything special. "Hi." Justin said softly as I re-entered his field of vision. I could see him lying on his side, facing me and sometime during my absence he had slid under the covers. When he held up the corner I obliged him and slid in next to him. "You showered." He said as I neared him He felt the damp curls of my hair as he brushed a hand through them. "You got me dirty." I said teasingly, leaning in for a light kiss. Usually I didn't kiss, but Justin made me want to kiss him and those lips demanded attention. It was just a little kiss, I told myself, it didn't really mean anything. Justin nuzzled me, first my lips softly then rubbing noses in Eskimo kisses and I couldn't help but laugh. He wasn't put off by this but let out a light sigh and pulled away before laying his head on my shoulder. I shifted slightly so as to accommodate his large frame with my own and then let him rest his head on my chest. His hand reached down and brushed gently at the fuzz that grew on my chest around my navel. "Can we stay like this for a bit?" He asked and the uncertainty was back in his voice. "I don't think I want to do the other stuff." I leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on his forehead, letting him know without words that this was fine by me. It was more than fine, I revelled in feeling him in my arms and knew that I had fallen more than I should have for this boy. For now it seemed to be enough that he was sleeping soundly, he didn't want the other stuff he had said, and I knew what that meant. He was not ready for penetration, or to be penetrated and that was more than okay with me. I was a virgin and Justin knew that, he too valued his virginity, possibly for the same reason that I did. We lay there for a while, just enjoying the silence as our breathing slowed and eventually I realised that Justin had drifted into a light sleep. I had not meant to follow him into it but before I knew it I too was sleeping softly, not at all bothered by the gentle snores of the man that lay on my chest. I had planned for so much more that night, to show him a few other talents that I had learned and touch him more, but we slept on and it being Justin's night I knew that this was what he wanted. Who was I to disagree with him? *** I woke at 5 am, the glowing of the alarm clock in the growing light of dawn told me that much, I had work the next day and I had to leave. Justin still slept peacefully as I slipped from beneath him, slowly pushing a pillow under his head so that he would not notice I had gone. Then I swiftly but softly gathered the clothes that I had worn the night before so that I could get ready to leave. I hated this stealthy departure but it would be more awkward to wake in his arms. Justin might have expected a morning of sexual discovery but they had paid for the night and I did not want to risk further falling for this boy, he was just a job and I had to think of it as that or else I would lose the little objectivity that I still held. There was only one more thing to do. I know that it was sentimental but I had to do it. On the table in the main room I found some hotel stationary and a pen. I left the note on Justin's bedside table with the neatly folded bills on top. Justin, Tell Josh thanks but I can't take his money. You mean more to me than any amount of money could mean and I want you to know that it was much more than a job to me. But we are from different worlds and I don't think that either one of us would fit into that world as a partner or friend. I thank the gods for the amazing gift that you have given me and I hope that my leaving will not tarnish your memories of it either. You truly are a special man and I know that when you give freely of yourself as you did last night that someone else will grow to love you as you are, not for who you are. Thank you for everything. Tim. And with that I walked out of the hotel room, never expecting that I would see another member of Nsync again. How wrong I was. And how in the following weeks I would wish that were true. Unfortunately it wasn't true and though it seems like that should be the end, this is really where the story begins.